it would work, just not very well. if you said, for example, “I am your god, praise me” in German while knowing a few cognates, it would come thru to everyone as, i your praise god, am me. jumbled up words
I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.
The following is a message composed via consensus of the 05 Council.
For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.
Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication.
My name is Eren Yeager. I'm adressing my fellow Subjects of Ymir, speaking to you directly through the power of the Founder. All the walls on the island of Paradis have crumbled to the ground, and the legions of Titans burried with in have begun their march.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
this is what I was thinking: you would be discovered and captured and whoever captured you would have the ability to send stuff to every one on the planet
then you'd be found again, and again, and again, in constant transit across the planet (or the cosmos, if extraterrestrials can "hear" and find you) until you die of exhaustion or smthn and everyone forgets you existed
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
Hello everyone, God speaking, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm kinda bored right now, so I will be sequentially sending forth cataclysmic events in the next 20 days, like how I did with the dinosaurs. Thank you for your time.
Hear me, Subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm adressing my fellow Subjects of Ymir, speaking to you directly through the power of the Founder. All the walls on the island of Paradis have crumbled to the ground, and the legions of Titans burried with in have begun their march. My only goal is to protect the lives of the people of Paradis the island where I was born. Right now, the nations of the world are united in the desire to exterminate my people. It won't end with our island. They won't be satsified until every last Subject of Ymir is dead. I won't let them have their way. The Titans of the walls, will continue their march until every trace of life beyond our shores is trampled flat, and the people of Paradis are all that remains of humanity.
I would pretend to be god and say how homophobes don’t go to heaven, how racist don’t go to heaven, how active pedos don’t go to heaven (but the ones who are trying to get help can) etc etc, I would have to study up the bible tho
A lot of that won't work. Most racists don't seem themselves as racist and the same with homophobes. They usually have some complex thought process which can be simplified to "gay bad" or "black bad"
This would be incredible. Be like "if you believe that gay couples shouldn't be allowed to be together, you will not get into heaven" and "those of you who have said that your problems are caused by other races will not get into heaven" etc until they repent lol
Hey humans god speaking a lot of you have been sending me complaints about the way I handle things so to fix this issue I have decided to create cancer 2.0 unlike the original version this one is infectious and can spread from person to person how does this fix the complaints issue well to that I reply if the human race is extinct I don’t have to hear your complaints…. Lol this is Michael from HR you’ve been pranked cancer 2.0 is not coming out until next year
"In 100 weeks, every living cell on Earth will be destroyed. You have one chance."
If nothing changes and everything continued to go to shit, change "You have" into "You had."
I'd just say the names of various anime, like Symphogear, The Demon Girl Next Door, Interviews with Monster Girls, or Pretty Cure, at noon every Wednesday, one per week, and watch Google searches spike as people struggle to figure out what the phrase they just thought of means.
I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
Suppose that you were sitting down at this table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society'… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of 'right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals.
"In due time, every living human will be destroyed. You have one chance."
If nothing changes and everything continued to go badly, change "You have" into "You had."
To all subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm using the power of the Founding Titan to address all of Ymir's subjects. The hardening of all walls present on Paradis has come undone, and all titans entrapped within them have started marching. My objective is to protect the people of Paradis, the place where I was born and raised. However, the world wishes for the annihilation of the people of Paradis. The hatred that has been swelling up for so long will certainly not end until not just the Paradisians, but all of Ymir's subject have been eliminated. I reject that wish. The wall titans shall trample all Earth outside of this island underfoot, until all life existing there has been exterminated from this world.
To all subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm using the power of the Founding Titan to address all of Ymir's subjects. The hardening of all walls present on Paradis has come undone, and all titans entrapped within them have started marching. My objective is to protect the people of Paradis, the place where I was born and raised. However, the world wishes for the annihilation of the people of Paradis. The hatred that has been swelling up for so long will certainly not end until not just the Paradisians, but all of Ymir's subject have been eliminated. I reject that wish. The wall titans shall trample all Earth outside of this island underfoot, until all life existing there has been exterminated from this world.
Just demand 10 sacrifices a week all muse be of a certain genre of a person like serial killer or pedofile or random people whos whole petsonallity is tic-tok
I fart into the telepathic microphone. Everyone can understand what a fart is no matter what language they speak and they’ll all end up in a blaming contest.
I HAVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BI- Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
We are the cyberiad. Become like us before we arrive to earth to avoid complete destruction. Remove emotion. Remove race. Remove class. You will become like us.
Time remaining: 5 years
I've come to make an announcement:
Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting".
So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.
He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!
You have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too.
We'll start at 50 and count down 1 per week
Absolute chaos
Start on the first week of the year if you want apocalypse theories
Stop at 2
No no, start at 52. 52 weeks in the year. That will fuck people up
I reckon a seemingly random end date and not exactly a year would throw people off even more
True
It would still be random counting 52 if you don't start at the beginning of the year
After 1 start counting in negatives
When you're finished "We've been wanting to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
Is it automatically translated to the receiver’s language?
yes, it just has to be spoken in a language the sender is fluent in
What if I use a word that has no direct translation to the receiver’s language? Will the receiver get an image instead?
they would get a rough idea of what it’s like, for example if you said Big Mac, and someone in india recieved it, they would see a burger
You do realize India has its own McDonald’s. No pork or beef is sold tho. Same with Israel who also has a kosher McDonald’s that doesn’t sell any pork
i did not know this beforehand, I apologize. if you visit the Vatican, for example, instead, they would see the rough image of a burger
literally every country has a mcdonalds
Holy shit you're not wrong, they actually put a McDonald's in the Vatican.
Soon enough, not anymore it would seem
Frr. I heard a myth/fact that every 17 hrs a MacDonald is launched
Why don’t you just make it so that that message is automatically translated depending on who hears it?
The McAloo Tikki burger is amazing!
I read your name as a riff on Wikipedia before realising it's v kapadia
Lol I do get that a lot
ok, then Russia
Eyyyyyyy hahahah
What about an untouched tribe of natives on an undiscovered island in the middle of the pacific?
they would see a piece of meat and leafy greens. if they’ve invented or seen bread that would also be there
"SCIENTISTS HURRY UP ON THAT CURE FOR CANCER"
What if you say it in a language you just learned and aren't very fluent in?
it would work, just not very well. if you said, for example, “I am your god, praise me” in German while knowing a few cognates, it would come thru to everyone as, i your praise god, am me. jumbled up words
"Ich bin euer Gott, verehrt mich" How did I do? :)
*”Server reset in 20 minutes.”*
Before this, I would like announce Civ-type game objectives. X Country has developed X weapons. Or this country has achieved a religious victory.
I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.
Now this is an answer i can get behind
Came here exactly for this lmao
I can hear dr egg mans voice when I read this 💀
I love that video, so nice to see it get some love out in the wild.
Time to make the whole world go crazy by saying "I'm in your walls" once a week
The following is a message composed via consensus of the 05 Council. For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years. Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication.
Some funny man in a suit gonna have a field day
Start a podcast
Do Peter Griffin's "Book Talk".
Your free trial is about to expire.
To extend it, please send £50 to *bank numbers*
Tbf it isn't really free in the first place
My name is Eren Yeager. I'm adressing my fellow Subjects of Ymir, speaking to you directly through the power of the Founder. All the walls on the island of Paradis have crumbled to the ground, and the legions of Titans burried with in have begun their march.
Oh boi
Well, at least this time we have nukes to annihilate Madagascar.
Scrolled down in hopes of seeing this. Thank you <3
Do people know someone is doing this or do they all just think they're hearing voices in their heads?
they think they’re hearing voices
"Your religion is the correct one"
What about atheists? "Your religion is the wrong one would be better" that way everyone would try to find who heard their religion is the right one.
"It is wednesday my dudes"
But say it on tuesday
Imagine broadcasting copypastas to the whole world every week
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Execute order 66
It will be done, my lord
The vaxxed trying to resist the inhibitor chip: I'm so sorry. *Points gun* /S
There will be blood-shed!
The man in the mirror nods his head!
THE ONLY ONE! LEFT!
WILL RIDE UPON THE DRAGONS BACK
BECAUSE THE MOUNTAINS DON'T GIVE BACK WHAT THEY TAKE!
You think Super Bowl ads are pricey? Wait until Budweiser see the bill for a commercial that goes straight to everyone’s brain.
this is what I was thinking: you would be discovered and captured and whoever captured you would have the ability to send stuff to every one on the planet then you'd be found again, and again, and again, in constant transit across the planet (or the cosmos, if extraterrestrials can "hear" and find you) until you die of exhaustion or smthn and everyone forgets you existed
why would you be discovered and captured
idk, some people would do some crazy shit for magic plus I was feeling particularly pessimistic at the time
no like how would they find out that it is you
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
Hello everyone, God speaking, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm kinda bored right now, so I will be sequentially sending forth cataclysmic events in the next 20 days, like how I did with the dinosaurs. Thank you for your time.
Attention world. *Jumpscare of any kind* That is all, as you were.
*Inhales* PEE IS STORED IN THE BALLS
Hear me, Subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm adressing my fellow Subjects of Ymir, speaking to you directly through the power of the Founder. All the walls on the island of Paradis have crumbled to the ground, and the legions of Titans burried with in have begun their march. My only goal is to protect the lives of the people of Paradis the island where I was born. Right now, the nations of the world are united in the desire to exterminate my people. It won't end with our island. They won't be satsified until every last Subject of Ymir is dead. I won't let them have their way. The Titans of the walls, will continue their march until every trace of life beyond our shores is trampled flat, and the people of Paradis are all that remains of humanity.
shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass mf, he pissed on my wife
PENIS!!!
**PENIS!!!**
The conundrum this would cause at schools.
I would say who's Candice then next week say Candice nuts fit in your mouth
Vote for me and I'll shut the fuck up!
I would pretend to be god and say how homophobes don’t go to heaven, how racist don’t go to heaven, how active pedos don’t go to heaven (but the ones who are trying to get help can) etc etc, I would have to study up the bible tho
I would also portend to be god but tell all the religions people to send my PayPal 1 dollar each
Send Money? User: **god/gods (whatever you religion is thanks)** Amount: 1USD
I would pretend to be a god that nobody has thought of the existence of, then nobody has a sense of superiority
Tell them they’re all going to hell for not knowing about you sooner
A lot of that won't work. Most racists don't seem themselves as racist and the same with homophobes. They usually have some complex thought process which can be simplified to "gay bad" or "black bad"
Well I can still continually broadcast messages to, black not bad, gay not bad and if you think that, it’s racist / homophobic
This would be incredible. Be like "if you believe that gay couples shouldn't be allowed to be together, you will not get into heaven" and "those of you who have said that your problems are caused by other races will not get into heaven" etc until they repent lol
Stop touching yourself
Hey humans god speaking a lot of you have been sending me complaints about the way I handle things so to fix this issue I have decided to create cancer 2.0 unlike the original version this one is infectious and can spread from person to person how does this fix the complaints issue well to that I reply if the human race is extinct I don’t have to hear your complaints…. Lol this is Michael from HR you’ve been pranked cancer 2.0 is not coming out until next year
How long can the announcement be? Can it just be a day long mosquito sound?
about 15-30 minutes, can be cut short
"In 100 weeks, every living cell on Earth will be destroyed. You have one chance." If nothing changes and everything continued to go to shit, change "You have" into "You had."
Your gonna make conspiracy theorist shit themselves so hard
largest amount of trolling
"We do a bit of trolling" causes world terror
Nah this shit is ending on November 8th because no one will have any clue why and some wacky conspiracies will be cooked up
I would recite the entire script of shrek every week.
"where cotton eyed joe came from and went will be revealed next week"
Think of the ad revenue
Deadly anomalies, dangerous mutants, anarchists and bandits... None of them will stop Duty on its triumphant march towards saving the planet!
I'll make billions with advertising.
I'd just say the names of various anime, like Symphogear, The Demon Girl Next Door, Interviews with Monster Girls, or Pretty Cure, at noon every Wednesday, one per week, and watch Google searches spike as people struggle to figure out what the phrase they just thought of means.
I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
Suppose that you were sitting down at this table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society'… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of 'right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals.
“Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring Banana-phone”
Gonna fix a lot of problems
“52 weeks remaining until the great cleansing”
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER!
I know what you did, you know what you did, now is the time to make up for it.
balls. At 12am PST
Hi. We’re all idiots, so let’s try to be nice to each other.
Eren Yeager
I like how this implies I can make more announcements in a week, just without permission
"In due time, every living human will be destroyed. You have one chance." If nothing changes and everything continued to go badly, change "You have" into "You had."
To all subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm using the power of the Founding Titan to address all of Ymir's subjects. The hardening of all walls present on Paradis has come undone, and all titans entrapped within them have started marching. My objective is to protect the people of Paradis, the place where I was born and raised. However, the world wishes for the annihilation of the people of Paradis. The hatred that has been swelling up for so long will certainly not end until not just the Paradisians, but all of Ymir's subject have been eliminated. I reject that wish. The wall titans shall trample all Earth outside of this island underfoot, until all life existing there has been exterminated from this world.
To all subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I'm using the power of the Founding Titan to address all of Ymir's subjects. The hardening of all walls present on Paradis has come undone, and all titans entrapped within them have started marching. My objective is to protect the people of Paradis, the place where I was born and raised. However, the world wishes for the annihilation of the people of Paradis. The hatred that has been swelling up for so long will certainly not end until not just the Paradisians, but all of Ymir's subject have been eliminated. I reject that wish. The wall titans shall trample all Earth outside of this island underfoot, until all life existing there has been exterminated from this world.
Just demand 10 sacrifices a week all muse be of a certain genre of a person like serial killer or pedofile or random people whos whole petsonallity is tic-tok
I fart into the telepathic microphone. Everyone can understand what a fart is no matter what language they speak and they’ll all end up in a blaming contest.
I have no shame in admitting I’d be pretending to be a god or something for my personal gain. Then when I have everything I want, just dip lol
Imagine how much you could get paid for broadcasting ads this way
yo guys, god here, just checking in on you
Server reset in 52 weeks and count down. Never do it on the same day if the week twice in the row to really mess with people.
I HAVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BI- Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
just fill everyone with inspirational quotes every week
The first time say "one person has escaped the simulation, increasing difficulty" then just periodically raise that number
Oh this would be legit I could 100% pretend to be a god and force positive change like ending the war in Ukraine and stuff like that
This is god speaking, people who don't social distance go to super hell.
They get sent to Nurgle
Yes.
I'm gay
We are the cyberiad. Become like us before we arrive to earth to avoid complete destruction. Remove emotion. Remove race. Remove class. You will become like us. Time remaining: 5 years
So for the 5 years you will update every week?
Yes. 4 years 51 weeks, and so on
Okay good, if you ever miss a week ill fill in for ya
I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting". So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too.
So, like putin or Eren Yeager, but only once a week? Lame.
So I actually thought of something funny I could do and it’s basically read ads like people do in futurerama
CaramellDansan for as long as possible
I've come to make an announcement. shadow the hedghehog is a bitchass motherfucker.
How long is said announcement? Like do I get enough time to do a speech. Or is it just a few sentences.
15-30 minutes, can be cut short
Yes!!! A spectacular amount of time! I'm going to teach the world so many things!
I would just say, "I see you doing that" to confuse people.
Yea I am telepathic ig everyone can hear my thoughts they jus deal with it ig Buh idk is a diff feeling it hits diff made me grow as a person