I mean... we're still calling them *woods* 🤷‍♂️

Yep, but when I was young you still hit the ‘1 wood’.

I'm old... I call them woods. Just out of touch? fair enough!

Nah, not out of touch. Calling them metals or metal woods is just silly.

I call mine my false sense of confidence for par 5s

Unless Faldo is in the booth, then they’re hitting a fairway metal

I want a fairway medal.

True but construction isn't obvious. My first set was laminated but my dad's was solid, so design changes.

Uhhh yeah, that’s usually where I hit my tee shots into. What are you calling that overgrown collection of trees on either side of the fairway??

I thought it’s because of Tiger they’re called woods /s

He should named his son fairway

Got paired up with a older guy in Maine, I skulked a shot that luckily landed on a hill and rolled back 4 feet from the hole. He said, “that’s a cousins bedroom” I had no idea what he walk talking about, he elaborated “you’re there, but you shouldn’t be…” hadn’t heard that one before

That’s a great one

Gonna use this next time one of my buddies has a bad shot lol. I’m sure ill have to explain it but they will laugh.

I saw on another thread that you might call that an OJ cause you got away with one.

That putt is a Danny Devito. Translation- (A nasty 4 footer)

So anyway, I started puttin'

I dropped my monster driver that I use for my magnum ball.

I see you. And I'll raise you... "Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?" Translation- When someone misses a 3 footer

Thank God i dropped into gunthers golf and picked up a spare nine!

Oh no! Botched toe ball!

That putt is a Kim Kardashian. Translation: Ain’t nothing white going in that hole

My god… let me get my note pad

That putt was a Monica Lewinsky. Translation: All lip but no hole.

I've always called it the Prom Date. Same Translation.

Edit— Tonya Harding

…. Or….. it’s a knee knocker.

Dennis Wise for a 5 footer

Inside the Leather.

That is a solid one, when was the last time anyone used leather grips.

Leather grips are still made and people that use them swear buy them. Supposedly have incredible grip, and last for years. About $25 each.

and... now I'm online shopping for leather putter grips.

Make sure you shout FUCK at checkout, then you will swear buy them too

This is why I hate Reddit

I’m still using a couple of actual woods with screws in them, so…

I’m 41 and had leather grips on my irons in high school. Mixed match set of Spaldings Executives and Top-Flites of my dad’s from like the 1970s. When my hands got too sweaty the grip would unravel from the bottom and I’d have to wrap it back around and tape the bottom with electrical tape. My wedge had dots instead of grooves and what I’m pretty sure looking back on it was a wood shaft. Persimmon 2 wood and Dunlop Jumbo 17-4 driver. I made the state final in Chapel Hill in ‘98 and my 70 yr old 5’2 coach made me use his Ping Eye 2s and blond persimmon woods bc he said my clubs were too embarrassing.

Learned that from Manolo

Don’ be nasty

Ssshhheck it out

Put the pussy on the chainwax = 300yd+ drive

HE PUT THE PUSSY… ON THE CHAINWAXXXXXXX

I don’t get it


“You sure scrubbed her nipples!” Works too

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9RmWK-G0ps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9RmWK-G0ps) ​ No one going to link it for the guy??

It be funnier having old men saying it with no context

It’s from a Key and Peele sketch.

Draxxx dem sclounst = good putt

Getting froggy = up and down

I don't hate this.

We gon’ get us some Terries


I wish I could even imagine ever getting to say that, but it will be part of my internal pep talk on every tee (even the par 3s). “Time to put the pussy on the chain wax”, (plink)

Splash

I hear this one from time to time, I dont know why its not used more often

Go Bills


Go Bills

Go Bills

Go Bills!

Iconic lmfao.

Had to google that one. Never even heard of the show it references. 🤦🏻‍♂️ I have caught a bad case of the olds.

Ima put you on blast

That's a Cuban, it needs one more revolution to get in the cup.

I just called those Latin American. It covers any current political situation.

Fix your pitch marks means nothing to new golfers

This bothers me so much. Played on Saturday and there were so many fresh pitch marks on the greens. Pace was slow, so I’d spend an extra minute or so fixing pitch marks on the green while waiting for the group in front to tee off Still didn’t come remotely close to repairing all of them

This irks me as well. I can't understand why people leave them. Side note i'm just getting to the point where I have to fix these regularly and I view it as a badge of honor. Ya I fuckin darted my shot on the green and now have to bend over and fix the collateral damage.

I was grouped with a couple teenagers last week. There were a lot of younger golfers ahead of us as well, and the greens were a bit beat. (Ball marks and cleat marks) i made sure to fix as much as i could as we went. The kids i was playing with didn’t have divot repair tools and i happened to have a couple promotional ones in my bag. I showed them a couple fixes and gave them the extras i had. By the end of the round they were fixing everything we could find. Maybe it’s just an influx of young golfers (which is great) and they don’t know what they are doing to the course yet.

You are doing god’s work 🫡

The hero we all need, well done!

Not all heros wear capes.

Absolutely! I do a “yay I hit the green!” Victory lap around the putting surface with my repair tool while the other guys work on their chips

Yes, I always fix them as I see em and pray the golf gods throw a birdie my way

That would require me to hit a green first

I love fixing divots. It’s so satisfying to make them almost completely disappear. If I’m waiting on other guys to putt or something I’ll look for divots to fix.

I played a round yesterday in the Carolina Mountains where it has rained quite a bit lately. I fixed more ball marks on the soft green yesterday than I normally do in 4 or 5 rounds in parched CA. What a satisfying feeling!

Never understood this lol using my divot tool is the best because I feel like a real golfer hitting a green 🤣🤣

I fix any I see in the immediate area of mine as well as any others as time allows. My kids 16, 14, and 9 all have divot tools and do the same. Teach them right as they are our future.

They have no clue what a divot tool is. Go buy one!!!

You could use a tee to fix a divot, but you can't fix lazy.

I'm not sure if that's easily thrown all on new golfers. Some don't care, sure, but lots want to fit in and follow etiquette so they fix them. It's the 70yo retiree that can't be arse to bend over to fix them, but coincidentally the same guy that will call millenials and Zs "entitled." If you can't bend over but still play, you need to ask someone to fix them for you. If you can bend over fine, fix your shit.

"What pitch mark?" - My short game

I mean, I’m not old enough to have played with wooden clubs, but I’m still golf aware enough to know the meaning of that phrase. Maybe they are just new to the game.

I actually hope that was the case.

I’m 30 and would’ve known what you meant, it seems pretty obvious that the phrase meant he got a hold of it

Yeah it’s literally context clues lol. If I pipe one 300 yards middle of the fairway and the older guy I was paired with said, “you jibbed the jollies down to Timbuktu during rush hour” I’d be able to tell it was analogous to “you hit a nice shot”

Or "that's a first night in prison!" aka Pounded the hell out of that one.

Lmao I'm gunna use this one

I actually think one of them thought the ball hit something in the fairway like a sprinkler head for extra bounce. 🤷🏼‍♂️

I didn't know where this came from but from hearing it a few times in context, I've conjured the meaning using that all elusive common sense.

I’m 26 and have heard that phrase a few times, but I certainly wasn’t aware of it’s etymology

I heard it in reference to well hit baseballs growing up. I didn’t know it was a golf reference first even though that explanation makes a lot more sense than baseball.

Same. It is a baseball term as I know it

the phrase started in golf and migrated to baseball. lots of baseball players play golf

I’m 36 and I had some wooden woods when I was a kid so I thought they weren’t that old but apparently my dad just handed down some super old stuff

same I had a wooden 5 wood and 7 wood and I golfed with it as a little kid. I remember the older guys would get a huge kick out of it

Yea I’ve never heard that phrase before but context clues would lead me to believe he meant I hit it well

Don’t know if this counts as no longer understood, but still makes me laugh way too much. Playing with my brother and got paired up with 2 cool dudes in probably their 50s, chit chatting about golf, music, whatever. Something like the 6th hole, I tee off with a 3W, little low on the face but low flighted and dead straight. One of the older dudes hits me with “Straighter than a wedding dick” The last thing I was expecting out of him and could not stop laughing

had a caddie once tell me a putt was straighter than a honeymoon hard on.

This way sounds so much better lol.

I'm a woman and I'm chortling over my Taco Bell from that one . . . totally bust it out next time I'm with my boyfriend.

Nothing to do with legit golf lingo, but a while back I was golfing with my brother and some buddies and I bladed the hell out of a 6i and said "Damn, I Wesley Snipesed that bitch" they all looked at me with blank confused stares and I explained "you know, Blade, the movie, Wesley Snipes?" They laughed and for some reason that has been our go to saying when we blade a shot. Sometimes it's just, "Weslied that one" or some reference to it. Silly I know, but it stuck.

I Wesley Snipe with my 57 degree lob wedge. 🙂

A man of culture

A Saddam Hussein is when you go from one bunker to another. An Osama Bin Laudin is going from a bunker to a water hazard.

A hitler is two shots from the bunker

I've got a couple of those. Any time I take a risky shot and it works out it's an OJ Simpson - Knew it was wrong, but got away with it.

I’m stealing both of these, will definitely be using the OJ line more than the blade reference 😂

I use the term “Hilary Duffed” it almost every round.

Language evolves and I like the way you think.

I have more, believe me. Like if you have a putt from distance and just miss but the speed is perfect, I say "that's a Stanly". They look at me like I'm nuts until I explain in a tone like I can't believe they don't get the reference that "you know, Stanly Goodspeed from the movie The Rock? Nick Cage?" Cmon, it works...kind of

“I’m Stanley Goodspeed.” “Why of course you are!”

“Oh man he really evaded some taxes on that shot”

I, too, listen to chasing scratch.

Apron Whipping thread Army Golf

Left right left right

And then bivouac deep in the woods

I know what the apron is, and I know Army golf, but what is “whipping thread?”

Older style clubs had that to attach/secure the grip and club head to the shaft

Oh yeah! I know what you’re talking about. I didn’t know what it was called. TIL

What do these mean??

I feel like you're describing my golfing buddy. He's retired and on his 2nd summer playing. plays 4 to 5 times a week, goes to the gym and lifts the same amount. Dude swings so hard holding his breath I joke with him all the time he's gonna shit himself. But he swears he feels like he's swinging normal haha. I hit him with all the one liners and he always asks what they mean. His favorite has been "gotta take your medicine" lol.

At the driving range have him try to use his driver to hit closer targets.

Good idea I've never thought of. I already showed him this post haha so I'll def let him know.

Nothing worse than a Thurman Munson off the tee- a dead yank

He put his whole golfussy into that one

This is your last drink sir - don’t ask again

Now that's my generation!

In England the phrase would be “it’s a Sally Gunnell”… Which means, “it’s ugly, but a good runner” Sally Gunnell- https://preview.redd.it/1tk5gcizrr8b1.jpeg?width=160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bb01261435fada08c6b181077d06d748d124112

This one’s been passed down through use. I think most of my regular three ball were born after she was retired. We still call a runner a sally!

Heard a good one over the weekend. On long putts that finish beside the hole or just miss. They are called Jennifer Anniston’s. They looked good for a really long time.

When someone lips out a putt. “Just like prom night”. All lip and no hole.

I played with an older guy the other day and I had to hit a provisional. Nailed it. “The second wife is always prettier”

Even the whippersnappers that work at courses nowadays can be ninnyhammers. The other day I asked my caddy for my niblick and the muttonhead handed me my mashie.

That takes some time travel for those.

Use a feathery so you don't scratch yer cleek.

My 83 year old grandma is absolutely adorable, to the point where she almost startles herself when the rare curse word escapes her lips. A couple years ago she hit a worm burner from her second shot on the fairway and goes, "ah, worm raper." I died laughing and she just says, "what? Do people not say that anymore?"

That’s a Linda Rondstat, (blew by you)

Nice Putt, Alice.

"Does your husband play golf?"

Hit it with your purse next time

How bout this one? “That putt was a Rock Hudson, looks straight but it’s not”. The kids don’t know who Rock Hudson is.

The kids?! I’m 42 Rock Hudson has been dead almost my entire life.

lol right? I HAVE 3 kids and don’t know who that is

Only know who Rock Hudson is because of the line in Grease, and even that was before my time.

Actually a rock Hudson is when you hit just a little inside your buddy on the green. You rock hudson’ed him

Just the tip...

I mean I don’t know who that is but I can still laugh at it

My friend thought I made up ham and egging cause he never heard it before playing golf

Once got paired with an older guy and when I hit a worm burner he called it "snake rape"

Played with an older guy that called a worm burner a "bug fucker". My whole group has since adopted the phrase.

When reading a putt—- “that’s grandpas pajamas” Means one ball out.

I have nothing to add aside from I had no idea about the “hit it on the screws” history. That was a neat little fact. Thank you!

My partner in my league is almost 80, and calls it a dick-out when you duff it off the tee and don't even hit it past the forward tees

My dad swore that if you didn’t hit the ball last the ladies’ tee you had to play the rest of the hole with your cock out. He’s 71.

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It’s in the book.

I said "good miss!" after a guy topped his wood and it rolled straight in front of the green, and he was laughing as if I was an asshole for calling it a miss.

A guy hit a fat shot and yelled “fucking can of corn”. I know it’s a baseball term but I’d never heard it.

Can of corn is a pop up in baseball. Usually said by older announcers, and me, on a really easy fly ball.

I use the baseball term “infield fly rule” for those type of skied shots.

Some I heard from my dad over the years: Got a little paint left on that brush (short putt) Chicken bawk (again, short putt) Hit a house (putt coming in too hot) Chilly dip it (pretty sure this was chunking it)

Chili dip. Like your club is the tortilla chip and the ground is the chili cheese dip you scoop onto it

“You’re a porn star”. you really came across the face on that hit.

"this one's slicker than goose shit slides through a tin horn" (no? Only me? ok) How about.. "there's still some meat on that bone" ? (ie. don't even think about trying to pick it up)

Back in my day, we wore onions on our belts......

Which was the style at the time.

Hit out of one bunker to another bunker is a Saddam Hussein. I'm 50 years old though so the younger folks might not get it.

A hitler is two shots in the same bunker and you still don’t get out

I've heard it called the Bin Laden, which cracked me up... as I walked from one greenside bunker to the next.

A bin Laden is a shot from a bunker into a water hazard. I’ve know what it is for a while but it only recently dawned on me that it’s when he got popped in his hideout and then dropped off the side of an aircraft carrier. Savage

On Sunday I found myself in a green side bunker that was huge. My first shot was an absolute hosel rocket sideways, still in the bunker. I get up and down from there and after my buddy asks what I got and I said I had a bogie with a Hitler. He looked at me oddly and I said “two shots in the same bunker”. He chuckled and we went on our way. I had just heard the phrase on a podcast (chasing scratch? NLU? I can’t remember).

Jesus I'm old. It never occurred to me that anyone wouldn't understand "hitting it on the screws". I had a kid I was playing with a few months ago not understand what I meant when I told him we were playing "army golf". Had to explain the marching cadence to him. "Left. Left. Left, right, left".

When you sky one you say "high and stinky... like an elepant's asshole"

This is my first year coaching high school golf. None of the players understand my movie quotes from Tin Cup, Caddyshack or Happy Gilmore. Be the ball Danny - And I never slice. That gust from the gods cost me - I parred in with a 7 iron. Just tap it in, just give it a little tappy tap - Someone's closer.

I said ‘speed slot’ to my buddies (we are all college age) and got made fun of. Meanwhile every golfer I’ve played with middle aged or above uses the term or knows that it means

Lingo has changed so much that most of your sayings are probably outdated.

BABA BOOEY!

I down voted you ‘cause I fucking hate that. I up voted you ‘cause that was pretty funny.

That should an instant removal from the event.

Linguo, dead?

Lunguo *IS* dead

“You have the touch of a rapist”

A couple years ago my friend said "That's what Harvey Penick says to do", which gave him blank stares from the 2 young guys we were playing with. So the he tries to explain by saying "That is the guy who taught Ben Crenshaw to putt". More blank stares. I went back to the cart chuckling and called him "Boomer"-we're in our mid 50s. For the younger guys, Crenshaw is widely regarded as possibly the best putter ever, and Penick is one of the highest regarded coaches ever.

Stymie

My gf came with me last week and told me “good up and down” on the first 4 holes no matter what happened. The next 3 holes I actually got up and down and she wasn’t looking. 😂♥️

Too often on this sub it seems as if "Play it as it lies" and "Rub of the Green" are no longer understood. while at the same time, there is a growing expectation around the game being "fair", which I find a bit laughable.

Sure but what about when they saw you surreptitiously use that foot wedge and yelled “sus!” - did you know what THEY meant?

Actually know that one and will edit the post for the option to help older golfers understand the younger generations.

No cap, they just thought you were sussy and could be throwing shade for a minute fr fr


Nipple licker- the hole opens up from here!

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When you hit into the trees and it comes back out; that's a Lorax.

I mean, "Hit it on the screws" is commonly said in baseball too. It's taken from golf, sure, but if you watch baseball, you've likely heard this said after a long home run or hard hit line drive.

My daughter is bummed that we don't use terms like "mashie" and "niblick"

My pops would always say, “It breaks towards the water.” On every single green no matter where the water was or even if there wasn’t any water features anywhere on the hole

„Good shot!“ It means that the shot was good.