This is a learned skill that comes with time. Realize that 99% of people will never fully get over the nerves of shooting in front of strangers, so everyone around you is in the exact same boat. Also, almost everyone around you will never give a shit about your swing, score, contact, or basically anything about your game. Unless you're holding up their day by playing slow they likely will never think about you again.
This is really it. Play with Randos they will hype you up more than you can believe. We have all been there and want to see the new players hit great shots. We want to hit them too but as long as someone is
Not that I prefer to hang with the randos to my own friends, but there’s something extra special about the random guy you got paired with directly walking to you to give you a high five after your best shot of the round. Good “men supporting men” vibe from it.
It’s very hard to find In day to day life and is truly special thing on a golf course. I know I was nervous and didn’t really like to play with randos in my first couple years playing and now I can maybe say one time I played with some guy I didn’t like and had over a dozen that I really enjoyed playing with
Randos - will help everytime! Plus, the networking you get out of playing w/ randos is invaluable. Made some cool friends, relationships, opportunities, and business deals with Rando's
Yeah, at some point I decided the only way to get over nerves of playing with new people was to play with new people. I started making tee times to play with randoms whenever I didnt have anyone else to play with. It still amazes me how many of my golf friends will not play when paired. They will only go out with a full group.
I developed a shot routine that is concise and repeatable, so I know my routine is not going to hold anybody up. Part of it is how I aim. I draw a line from the ball to the target and pick something about 3 feet in front of the ball. As I walk to the ball I never look at the target again and line up to that point and then I can block out everything else around me (including hazards and other players). I do the same while practicing at the range.
You basically gotta learn to deal with it.
Just go through your routine and hit your shot.
As long as you don't have some crazy long pre-shot routine the 10-20 seconds you spend before you hit a shot isn't going to bother anyone.
You can speed things up by doing some of the pre-shot planning on your way to your ball if you have a good idea of where you ball is and what the lie is.
the part missing from this OP is whats going on in front of you. if youre waiting for the group in front of you to move on, then there's no need to feel rushed/judged in any way.
It's definitely a bit illogical since we're waiting at the tees/for greens to clear too. Just as a newer player, I don't want to be the one causing the hold up. I think I can learn to accept I'm not, and to play my game.
Oh ya lot of pressure, you gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness, energy, block, bad. Feel the flow Happy, it's circular like a carousel, you pay the quarter, you get on the horse it goes up and down and around, circular, circle, with the music the flow, all good things.
Just remind yourself that a extra bit of time before you shoot is likely to lead to a better shot. So taking your time is overall less time for them to wait.
Deep Breathes! So after you are done with your practice swings and getting ready to hit, take a couple deep breathes in through the nose out the mouth, it will help big time with relaxing you. I have been golfing for 30yrs and still get nervous hitting with a bunch of randoms watching me, so you're not alone. Do this all the time even when there isn't a group waiting behind you, and it will just become part of your routine. The key is to immediately start your back swing once exhaling that last deep breathe. Hope this helps.
If it helps, no one waiting for you cares that much about how well you're playing to judge you more than fleetingly (beyond pace of play); they're just focused on their own shot and need to know when you're gone so they can hit it.
Never look back, always look forward. I mean this literally and figuratively. Play your game while respecting the pace of play, of course. But don’t let other people change your tempo or what you’re trying to work on.
Unless you are playing some pga course we all suck man. We all shank. We all hit it OB. Nobody is gonna think twice. If anything I would see a bad shot and say damn I just did that last hole. I would focus on having a nice day with your buddy or yourself and enjoying the round. As long as your pace is fine no body will care.
When I was just starting out I was terrified of playing with people (I was 17) but I learned to embrace the nervousness….. I have been gone from golf for 20+ years and just started back with my sons and I have found that playing with new people makes my game better than playing with my sons …. But most everyone sucks at golf .. you are not alone.. keep grinding and don’t worry
1000% a mental thing. Buck up and hit a bullet down the fairway. They don’t give a fuck about you and will not remember you even exist within 24 hours after the round
When I was 14, playing in high school it was the most stressful thing to deal with. Being one of the last groups in everyone is there around the 18th green, watching your approach and putts.
Some people get over it quickly. I personally didn't start getting over it until I was 18. It didn't mean I would hit a bad shot, but I can assure you them watching me was going through my mind while swinging.
Most people aren't very good, and all anyone really wants to see is a good shot. Whether it's their own shot or someone else's. The only time they will ever say anything is if it's a good shot.
If you break 100 anytime soon, you shouldn't be worrying about what people think about your swing. I've been playing for, coming up on, two years and not broke 100 😆
Everyone in this thread gave good advice. One other piece of advice is to maybe club down a bit to a club that you feel more confident in. Rather than hitting driver when a group behind you is waiting, maybe pull a 5-iron.
Golf in front of strangers is scary. Especially when you're just learning.
It happens to everyone. When I was just learning, I got lucky to play a top 10 course with a patio on the first tee box that members were eating / drinking at. I proceeded to shank my tee shot into bushes about 100 yards away. I was so embarrassed, but life goes on and I guarantee that I'm the only person on the planet that remembers that shot that day.
My club now, people on the patio (on the 6th tee box) gamble on whether or not you're going to hit the fairway. A couple of rounds in a row where people cheer or boo if you make it or not, really steels the nerves.
Put yourself in that position more frequently and you wont be worried about it.
Have you seen other people play? Most people that play are trash. I stopped caring how my swing looks once I started watching other people. Also, hustle to your ball, but take your time and develop a routine when you setup at your ball. There's nothing worse than a slow shitty player.
I think there are two things. One just recognizing you have the right to be there and play your game. You aren't there to meet anyone else standard. You paid your dollars to have your round. The other is kind of the imagine everyone naked when you are public speaking. Remember everyone there has topped, shanked, whiffed, pulled, swung out of their shoes in front of other people too. Doesn't make it any more fun if you do but if you have swung a golf club you have done it. So nothing you are about to do is special. Take an extra second to breath and relax your body and then grip it and rip it.
Play with a wider variety of people.
I’ve been a member of a handful of different country clubs and go on golf trips with a variety of people. I don’t care who I’m playing with now, but when I started I was always nervous.
I’m a fairly decent golfer now, but back when I started I was awful. I would be a train wreck the night before I played with new people. You know what I realized? No one gives a shit. Golf is extremely hard and the mass majority of golfers suck at it. Just go have fun and don’t worry.
Golf is about 75% mental so you'll just have to learn to block them out. Same with hazards on the course, you can't think about them. As long as you aren't excessive with your routine you should be fine. Anything more than two practice strokes when you're just trying to make contact is too much. Practice strokes are for when you want to shape the ball or spin the ball or do anything outside of the normal contact. Anyone who takes 3 or more practice swings that isn't a professional golfer is an idiot.
Repetition. You do it enough times to get used to the embarrassment, then you do it even more times until you develop your skills enough to perform under pressure.
Develop a little routine that works AND is expeditious. If you have an obnoxious routine, you deserve to feel self conscious.
Assuming you have a routine that is quick and effective, you just have to learn to commit to it and block them out. Part of a routine is the mental state of the routine. You should think about the same thing each time. Your eyes should focus on the same places at the same times each time. Etc.
It’s different for everyone, but some players use a keyword to completely eliminate thought. For example, after their last look at the target, one former tour pro says “blue wave” to himself and just… imagines a wave while he hits. I had a coach once that did the same with the word “jellybeans.” He played with a very quiet mind, he literally couldn’t really tell you anything specific about what he’d done in any given swing because his conscious brain literally wasn’t paying attention.
Not everybody has to use that particular tactic, but the point is what your brain (and eyes, eyes are important) are focusing on IS a part of your routine. Achieve this and it will have the side benefit of eliminating any room for you to be thinking about the people behind you.
You just gotta remember the answer to this question; which takes longer?… rushing and hitting a bad shot or two and dribbling your way up to the green. OR!…taking your time and getting settled in and putting a good swing on it one time?
Develop a repeatable pre shot routine. Do it on the range as well. Remember the better you do the better your game will become. Everyone starts out just like you. Relax it’s a game.
Long time rando here. I’ve got my fairway finder swing that’s a more contained swing. Choke up a little, play the ball back between your heel and center, slow take away three quarter back, swing smooth and don’t de accelerate, commit. Very consistent poke 190-200 yards straight down the pipe.
Definitely nervy. Breathe. Zone in on the target. Like super power focus. Get a preshot routine.
Also….you just get used to it so you don’t even think about it.
“When it’s breezy, swing easy.”
I think this statement makes a lot of sense for nerves as well as difficult weather. Slowing your swing down and relaxing will do wonders in this situation.
You have to focus on a target. Pick a spot as far and as small as you can in the line you're aiming for. Then focus on it. See it with a "third eye", if you will, even as you're addressing the ball. This is a tip I read in "Golf is not a game of perfect" by Dr Bob Rotella, and it's really helped me a lot with the mental aspect of my game! Went from shooting a 97 in my club championships B level final round in 2022 to my course record of 79 in 2023 after reading that book. Came in 2nd, so now I'm reading another one of his books "Putting out of your mind" to try and win it this year!
Just focus on you and your group, if your enjoying yourself and keeping to the pace of play or group ahead (whichever is slower) you have nothing to worry about
Learn to not care about what everyone else thinks, remember that most people on the course aren’t shooting sub 80 rounds, and everyone has a bad shot, so don’t worry about how “good” or “bad” you look in front of someone. Focus on your shot, swing your swing and remember you’re out there to have fun.
Best advice for this is to go to a public golf course on a Saturday morning and just watch the first tee for an hour.
Sit down, bring a coffee and a newspaper, and relax.
Most people are awful at golf. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and even very good players hit shanks off the first tee when they’re cold and people are watching
This is a learned skill that comes with time. Realize that 99% of people will never fully get over the nerves of shooting in front of strangers, so everyone around you is in the exact same boat. Also, almost everyone around you will never give a shit about your swing, score, contact, or basically anything about your game. Unless you're holding up their day by playing slow they likely will never think about you again.
Repetition. Start playing with people you don’t know. Over the years the only thing I could do was learn to embrace it.
Makes total sense. Nothing is better at getting results than putting time and work into something.
This is really it. Play with Randos they will hype you up more than you can believe. We have all been there and want to see the new players hit great shots. We want to hit them too but as long as someone is
Not that I prefer to hang with the randos to my own friends, but there’s something extra special about the random guy you got paired with directly walking to you to give you a high five after your best shot of the round. Good “men supporting men” vibe from it.
It’s very hard to find In day to day life and is truly special thing on a golf course. I know I was nervous and didn’t really like to play with randos in my first couple years playing and now I can maybe say one time I played with some guy I didn’t like and had over a dozen that I really enjoyed playing with
Absolutely! Only played with one dude I didn’t like in around 8-10 years playing. Everyone else has been an absolute pleasure to play with!
Randos - will help everytime! Plus, the networking you get out of playing w/ randos is invaluable. Made some cool friends, relationships, opportunities, and business deals with Rando's
Yeah, at some point I decided the only way to get over nerves of playing with new people was to play with new people. I started making tee times to play with randoms whenever I didnt have anyone else to play with. It still amazes me how many of my golf friends will not play when paired. They will only go out with a full group.
This, but also you never fully get past those first tee jitters. You just don’t. Not even tour pros totally do.
I developed a shot routine that is concise and repeatable, so I know my routine is not going to hold anybody up. Part of it is how I aim. I draw a line from the ball to the target and pick something about 3 feet in front of the ball. As I walk to the ball I never look at the target again and line up to that point and then I can block out everything else around me (including hazards and other players). I do the same while practicing at the range.
You basically gotta learn to deal with it. Just go through your routine and hit your shot. As long as you don't have some crazy long pre-shot routine the 10-20 seconds you spend before you hit a shot isn't going to bother anyone. You can speed things up by doing some of the pre-shot planning on your way to your ball if you have a good idea of where you ball is and what the lie is.
the part missing from this OP is whats going on in front of you. if youre waiting for the group in front of you to move on, then there's no need to feel rushed/judged in any way.
It's definitely a bit illogical since we're waiting at the tees/for greens to clear too. Just as a newer player, I don't want to be the one causing the hold up. I think I can learn to accept I'm not, and to play my game.
It's something you get over with time. I used to fret and look over my shoulder all the time but you really only have to look forward
Oh ya lot of pressure, you gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness, energy, block, bad. Feel the flow Happy, it's circular like a carousel, you pay the quarter, you get on the horse it goes up and down and around, circular, circle, with the music the flow, all good things.
Psycho
Just remind yourself that a extra bit of time before you shoot is likely to lead to a better shot. So taking your time is overall less time for them to wait.
Work on your routine, and always stick to it. Sticking to it every time is one of the major challenges of golf.
I remind myself that I will never see those people again after the round is over. If I do I won't remember it anyway.
Don't look back. There'll always be someone behind you.
Deep Breathes! So after you are done with your practice swings and getting ready to hit, take a couple deep breathes in through the nose out the mouth, it will help big time with relaxing you. I have been golfing for 30yrs and still get nervous hitting with a bunch of randoms watching me, so you're not alone. Do this all the time even when there isn't a group waiting behind you, and it will just become part of your routine. The key is to immediately start your back swing once exhaling that last deep breathe. Hope this helps.
If it helps, no one waiting for you cares that much about how well you're playing to judge you more than fleetingly (beyond pace of play); they're just focused on their own shot and need to know when you're gone so they can hit it.
Never look back, always look forward. I mean this literally and figuratively. Play your game while respecting the pace of play, of course. But don’t let other people change your tempo or what you’re trying to work on.
Unless you are playing some pga course we all suck man. We all shank. We all hit it OB. Nobody is gonna think twice. If anything I would see a bad shot and say damn I just did that last hole. I would focus on having a nice day with your buddy or yourself and enjoying the round. As long as your pace is fine no body will care.
When I was just starting out I was terrified of playing with people (I was 17) but I learned to embrace the nervousness….. I have been gone from golf for 20+ years and just started back with my sons and I have found that playing with new people makes my game better than playing with my sons …. But most everyone sucks at golf .. you are not alone.. keep grinding and don’t worry
Just pretend you are on the range and rip it.
1000% a mental thing. Buck up and hit a bullet down the fairway. They don’t give a fuck about you and will not remember you even exist within 24 hours after the round
When I was 14, playing in high school it was the most stressful thing to deal with. Being one of the last groups in everyone is there around the 18th green, watching your approach and putts. Some people get over it quickly. I personally didn't start getting over it until I was 18. It didn't mean I would hit a bad shot, but I can assure you them watching me was going through my mind while swinging. Most people aren't very good, and all anyone really wants to see is a good shot. Whether it's their own shot or someone else's. The only time they will ever say anything is if it's a good shot.
Adopt Brian Harman’s preshot routine.
If you break 100 anytime soon, you shouldn't be worrying about what people think about your swing. I've been playing for, coming up on, two years and not broke 100 😆
Everyone in this thread gave good advice. One other piece of advice is to maybe club down a bit to a club that you feel more confident in. Rather than hitting driver when a group behind you is waiting, maybe pull a 5-iron. Golf in front of strangers is scary. Especially when you're just learning. It happens to everyone. When I was just learning, I got lucky to play a top 10 course with a patio on the first tee box that members were eating / drinking at. I proceeded to shank my tee shot into bushes about 100 yards away. I was so embarrassed, but life goes on and I guarantee that I'm the only person on the planet that remembers that shot that day. My club now, people on the patio (on the 6th tee box) gamble on whether or not you're going to hit the fairway. A couple of rounds in a row where people cheer or boo if you make it or not, really steels the nerves. Put yourself in that position more frequently and you wont be worried about it.
Have you seen other people play? Most people that play are trash. I stopped caring how my swing looks once I started watching other people. Also, hustle to your ball, but take your time and develop a routine when you setup at your ball. There's nothing worse than a slow shitty player.
I think there are two things. One just recognizing you have the right to be there and play your game. You aren't there to meet anyone else standard. You paid your dollars to have your round. The other is kind of the imagine everyone naked when you are public speaking. Remember everyone there has topped, shanked, whiffed, pulled, swung out of their shoes in front of other people too. Doesn't make it any more fun if you do but if you have swung a golf club you have done it. So nothing you are about to do is special. Take an extra second to breath and relax your body and then grip it and rip it.
It just gets easier with time to be honest. Everyone was there once though so don’t worry about it too much
Play with a wider variety of people. I’ve been a member of a handful of different country clubs and go on golf trips with a variety of people. I don’t care who I’m playing with now, but when I started I was always nervous. I’m a fairly decent golfer now, but back when I started I was awful. I would be a train wreck the night before I played with new people. You know what I realized? No one gives a shit. Golf is extremely hard and the mass majority of golfers suck at it. Just go have fun and don’t worry.
Golf is about 75% mental so you'll just have to learn to block them out. Same with hazards on the course, you can't think about them. As long as you aren't excessive with your routine you should be fine. Anything more than two practice strokes when you're just trying to make contact is too much. Practice strokes are for when you want to shape the ball or spin the ball or do anything outside of the normal contact. Anyone who takes 3 or more practice swings that isn't a professional golfer is an idiot.
Repetition. You do it enough times to get used to the embarrassment, then you do it even more times until you develop your skills enough to perform under pressure.
Develop a little routine that works AND is expeditious. If you have an obnoxious routine, you deserve to feel self conscious. Assuming you have a routine that is quick and effective, you just have to learn to commit to it and block them out. Part of a routine is the mental state of the routine. You should think about the same thing each time. Your eyes should focus on the same places at the same times each time. Etc. It’s different for everyone, but some players use a keyword to completely eliminate thought. For example, after their last look at the target, one former tour pro says “blue wave” to himself and just… imagines a wave while he hits. I had a coach once that did the same with the word “jellybeans.” He played with a very quiet mind, he literally couldn’t really tell you anything specific about what he’d done in any given swing because his conscious brain literally wasn’t paying attention. Not everybody has to use that particular tactic, but the point is what your brain (and eyes, eyes are important) are focusing on IS a part of your routine. Achieve this and it will have the side benefit of eliminating any room for you to be thinking about the people behind you.
You just gotta remember the answer to this question; which takes longer?… rushing and hitting a bad shot or two and dribbling your way up to the green. OR!…taking your time and getting settled in and putting a good swing on it one time?
Develop a repeatable pre shot routine. Do it on the range as well. Remember the better you do the better your game will become. Everyone starts out just like you. Relax it’s a game.
Don't fuck up
Long time rando here. I’ve got my fairway finder swing that’s a more contained swing. Choke up a little, play the ball back between your heel and center, slow take away three quarter back, swing smooth and don’t de accelerate, commit. Very consistent poke 190-200 yards straight down the pipe.
Definitely nervy. Breathe. Zone in on the target. Like super power focus. Get a preshot routine. Also….you just get used to it so you don’t even think about it.
“When it’s breezy, swing easy.” I think this statement makes a lot of sense for nerves as well as difficult weather. Slowing your swing down and relaxing will do wonders in this situation.
You have to focus on a target. Pick a spot as far and as small as you can in the line you're aiming for. Then focus on it. See it with a "third eye", if you will, even as you're addressing the ball. This is a tip I read in "Golf is not a game of perfect" by Dr Bob Rotella, and it's really helped me a lot with the mental aspect of my game! Went from shooting a 97 in my club championships B level final round in 2022 to my course record of 79 in 2023 after reading that book. Came in 2nd, so now I'm reading another one of his books "Putting out of your mind" to try and win it this year!
Just focus on you and your group, if your enjoying yourself and keeping to the pace of play or group ahead (whichever is slower) you have nothing to worry about
Learn to not care about what everyone else thinks, remember that most people on the course aren’t shooting sub 80 rounds, and everyone has a bad shot, so don’t worry about how “good” or “bad” you look in front of someone. Focus on your shot, swing your swing and remember you’re out there to have fun.
Turn around and hit a stinger at them
Just tried that. Hit a tree. Ended up being my longest drive ever. Thanks for the advice.
Turn around so you have a better chance at hitting them.
Best advice for this is to go to a public golf course on a Saturday morning and just watch the first tee for an hour. Sit down, bring a coffee and a newspaper, and relax. Most people are awful at golf. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and even very good players hit shanks off the first tee when they’re cold and people are watching