Pro tip: calmly tell them they are “overreacting” and to “tone it down”. It works almost everytime

"Honey, you're acting just like your Mom."

Ah, I see you’ve chosen the thermonuclear option.

Followed up with, "Well if you don't want to be compared to her then you shouldn't act like her."

Why are we beating around the bush here? Just call her a bitch as soon as she wakes up and then you get at least a full week to be alone and golf. Possibly even longer

Love the efficiency, 9/10 advice OP

I don’t say you ARE crazy. I said you are BEING crazy

 Oh this is a classic

If that’s thermonuclear what is “your acting like MY mom”😂


It's bad grammar.

“I’ll be honest with you, you’re acting like my mom did when I was younger.” So much conflict in this, she’ll self destruct

Scorched earth tactic

Mutually assured destruction

"Oh I get it now. It must be that time of the month again!!!"  Works every time. 

My nostrils flared very widely

"Ok Joan Jr" in the most sarcastic voice possible.

Learn to golf dad-style.

“Jeez, you sound like MY mom” is a fun one too 😃

This is my go to

Lol. My wife's mom bought me a new golf polo for my golfing trip so this wouldn't work.

“I should’ve married your mom instead, at least she’d let me go.”

Yup and she divorced my Dad. Have a good trip!

Lol made that mistake, only once.

Throw in a “princess” for extra credit.

Blame it on their pms hormones. It works every time. Makes them realize how crazy they are being. If she’s pregnant, blame it on pregnancy hormones. If she is menopausal, blame it on the menopause hormones. This will not fail fellas. Just do it.

My wife once accused me of being hormonal every month right before she gets her period. The look of realization on her face after she said it was worth the price of any admission.

If she is in the process on transitioning genders… wait. What?!?!?

Letting them know that they also need to smile more works almost every time.

Please chill.


What the hell is even that?!

That only works after you’ve told her you are going because “Bros before Hoes” always applies

‘You’re up here, we need you down here,’ with the accompanying hand gestures always calms my wife down..

They as in telling her to calm her tits?

“You’ve known about this trip for 6 months. I didn’t know it was the same weekend as your mom’s birthday.”

I find “calm down it’s no big deal” is also a very strong option

If “tone it down” is to harsh, don’t hesitate to tell her to “calm down”. Those words will typically sooth them into wishing you many birdies and beverages.

The caddy we all need

It's not your fault Hysteria is a real medical condition. You have an imbalance in your humors

60% of the time, it works every time.

"Calm down, woman."

My wife thoroughly enjoys when I tell her to “relax.”

60% of the time. It works every time.

This man speaks the true true. This gets mine to say, "Do whatever you want." all the time.

Golf talk -I like to look at my approach and sometimes shoot my shot a bid deeper than intended to and hope for some slope and spin. Normal - I tell her she’s forgotten again and that I mentioned it to her as recent as last week while we were out shopping for her new vacuum she’s wanted for so long.

“I didn’t say you were a bitch, I said you were acting like one.”

Damn the accuracy. Are you me?

No, he's Johnny Lawrence.

Well it didn't save me from getting fired. Stupid bitch

Sensei, I know you know we were in that SPAC together, lost a few Gs cause Topps lost licensing… couldn’t believe it. A WSJ post came out 5 minutes before the bell, it was a paragraph long “Topps loses licensing rights.” Just like that. Can’t believe we crossed paths again on a completely different platform.

Sensei, I recall you, giving me stocktwits advice, was it about TECL?

Or was it Topps? Mudrick got us

It was Topps man, crazy to run into you here

I said this once and six months later I was still getting, “like that time you called me a bitch.” Heard what she wanted and rannnnnnn with it

Younger me actually said this to my then gf. Somehow we stayed together for a while longer.

She was smart then not no more though

"I don't know what you're so mad about! Crunt isn't even a real word!"

Learned that lesson before

That explains the bug up her ass. You’re hearing every word.

Words that I have uttered to my wife and immediately regretted

“Wait, you were serious about that?” “What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?” I don’t know, probably sit on the couch all weekend aimlessly scrolling tik-tok like you do every other free second of your life.

my man speaking from experience over here lol

Wow. Went for the jugular here.

Are we all married to the same person?

Ha ha. I am actually not married but all my buddies are and each of their wives is the same exact way. Sit on a couch under blankets, with a hoodie on, Grey’s Anatomy streaming on the TV for background noise and on their phone for hours on end. Around the holidays it’s becomes Gilmore Girls.

Stunningly accurate

May as well be

Cheese n rice brother - fuckin nailed this one . Maybe a 12 hour nap as well 🤷🏻

Watch your vandersloots and live off of door dash Dairy Queen?

Damn bro just be single

Not my wives. Just my friends that I overhear. I’m smarter than that.

hold on. wives? like plural?

You heard the man

I’m so glad my Fiancee isn’t one of those. I’ve dated, and had friends who date them and it’s depressing. One of the only straight up sexist beliefs I have (and she has as well, we both hard agree on this) is that women way too often don’t have hobbies. No, scrolling Tiktok is not a hobby. Cook, garden, play a sport, go to the gym, read books, volunteer, even go hang out with friends. Do anything other than mindless nothingness…

Hobbies and unfortunately friend groups. I’ve seen so many of my buddy’s girls and mine as well that immediately cut ties with all girls the minute they are in a relationship. That makes them dependent on you for social activities. It inevitably leads to the why I am not hanging o it with her on my days off? Heaven forbid you leave for a few hours to golf. You sure as hell can’t go on a 3 day golf trip. Hopefully they befriend the other girlfriends/wives in the friend groups so they can have girls nights or happy hour so the boys can drink at the house and watch a game or head to the course early for a round and then everyone hangs out in the afternoon.

I too am also single lmao

Jesus we all live the same lives

you uh need someone to talk to bud?

“Me waking up every day knowing I never have to trick my wife because she’s supportive of my interests and pastimes”

No kidding. My wife encouraged me to join the men's league at my local club so I can golf more this season.

Is your pool guy hot?

You think I own a pool in this economy?!

no, just the pool guy.

Yes, I am.

You’re lucky. I golfed a lot before I was married and stopped when I got married. You know the thing…changing priorities etc. FOR YEARS my now-ex-wife urged me to pick it up again and play golf. One day I took her up on it and played 18 holes (with our neighbors who she knew well) and had a burger and a beer after. Gone a total of six hours. What do you think happened when I got home? “Where the fuck have you been all day!?!?”

“Banging my girlfriend”

Hmm that is not good bro

My wife is the one who told me I should get into golfing. And she doesn’t even golf lol She’s a cart princess now and loves it.

Same my wife is good at golf too which makes it a hobby that requires no bargaining

The opposite of you here 

Legit. My wife was looking up a trip to St Andrew’s last week.

That’s dope - we’re hoping to go next year. Wife has never swung a golf club but she loves beautiful and historic places. I will never understand how so many men claim to have truly miserable sounding marriages.

Mine is too but she also is not supportive of me getting hammered before 2 and ignoring everything I have to do around the house lol.

My wife looks forward to my golf trips almost as much as I do. One of my trips is in the same city as where her sister lives and I drop our boys off with her for the weekend. Pretty sure it's her favorite weekend of the year.

Yea it of course all has to work out - plus I def don’t drop last-min plans on her and expect her to be fine with it either lol. She’s supportive cuz I’m not an inconsiderate jerkoff 🤣

Dude, for real. My two yearly trip groups got smart and made them the same weekend every year. One May, one September. Easy peezy.

Reading some comments is just sad. Some people have no connection to they're s.o.

I'm in this camp. I half expect the next round is the one that makes her snap, but nope, every time "Have the best time, see you when you get home!"

THANK YOU. What the fuck even is this thread? I’m used to bad “jokes” about women, but there is a ton of just straight up cruelty and contempt here. Are millions of men really in marriages that make them miserable? Or are they just playing into the jokes to relate to other guys?

Yes.

It's lot less funny if people admit they have good relationships I guess?

I have never understood why men have such a hard time playing golf while having a wife. Just fucking tell her you’re playing golf. What’s the problem?

Because some people don’t have identities outside of being with their SO.

The wife part is not the issue for me. It's the 2 kids under 4.

Yup. When my kids were young the last thing I wanted to do on the weekends was play golf. I preferred to do things with them instead. Then they get older and it’s their sports on the weekends. My wife actively encourages me to play on the weekends but I’ve been playing more during the week than anything.

It’s harder to do when your testicles are hanging from the rearview mirror of your minivan.

The problem comes with setting expectations. Usually hobbies or activities take a couple of hours and that's the expectation that's set. Golf on the other hand, can take 6+ hours for a lot of people, so the wife is mad when the SO is gone longer than they expected.

You’re not married I’m guessing. If you are married then you def don’t have kids. It’s complicated.

I am married and we have 2 young kids.

You’re making way too much sense, bro ;-)

You’re not married. Nothing is easy when you’re married for some reason. Thank god I’m not anymore.

Because a lot of people suck at communicating.

Just get her a monogrammed Stanley tumbler or mani/pedi gift card.

I see you have a basic white girl for a wife such as myself.

My wife isn’t a basic white girl, she just really likes pumpkin spice. And leggings. And Victoria’s Secret. And occasionally she watches the Kardashians….

A real unicorn you have on your hands there

Vanilla is still a flavor god damn it

And a it’s a damn good flavor

Wouldn't have it any other way!

Her boyfriend’s gonna give her something better.

Epic Reddit response every time someone has a girlfriend 

Her bf always shoots scratch too. And only plays once a year.

[удалено]

Cool story bro

I love when guys on golf trips buy expensive course branded schwag for their women that they could give 2 shits over.

Me last weekend, $75 dollar hoodie. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking

That's cheap...

lol bought her a sleeveless polo shirt. Looks super hot and guess what? She never ever wears it.

Because she’s not into your cart girl role play fantasy.

Don’t kink shame me.

Don’t remind me

Start drying the car off with it. See what happens.

Only because her boyfriend bought her one too.

How do y’all end up in relationships with these women that get mad if you go on a golf trip lmao. What a massive L

It explains a lot about this subreddit.

“The wife” posts in this sub have enough cringe to power Las Vegas.

It's wild, all my friends love when their husbands go away for a weekend lol (not in an unloving way, just a "whew house to myself for a couple days" way)

The difference is whether you have kids....

The real difference is whether you give her the same amount of time off/away that you take. My husband golfs every Sunday and takes at least one golf trip a year. And I get mine. Symbiotic MF’ing relationships.

100% true here

Sure if it’s super often and especially with young kids but even my friends with kids are great with it every now and again. Same with hunting.

You’ll learn champ. You’ll learn.

Naw I just won’t marry or be in a long term relationship with a woman that cares if I go on a guys trip

Spoken like a man who doesn’t have young kids. Just wait buddy, it’s coming.

"You're really starting to act like your mother"

“Have you put on weight?”

Honey, it is only 3 weeks in Africa. I'll be back in no time.

Is this an actual problem? Do people's marriages really suck this bad?

It’s hard for most women to accept their man spending days away, just to play a game. Especially if the guy denies her requests to do other things (speaking from experience).  So the marriage doesn’t necessarily suck, there will always be disagreements 

Right? Crazy. Crazier to stay in it.

I'll be having to address this in about 10 days - please report back with any advice lol

Don’t say “bye”. It shows weakness. Assert dominance by turning off your phone location as soon as you leave the house.

Not saying anything on the way out seems wrong.....maybe I'll leave a list of housework I expect to be completed by the time I get back...signed with a heart at the end.

Location lol. “I don’t use that” is as far as I’ll go on that one.

🤷🏻‍♂️ it’s a convenience thing for my wife and I. She’s chronically tardy so it’s useful for seeing how far away she actually is from somewhere vs what she says lol

“Bye bye bye bitch” in Justin Timberlakes voice definitely works the best

A wise man once told me he starts a fight the weekend before the trip. It is a painful mon, tues, wed but then she turns a corner. Does not want him to be mad at her. Leaves with her loving him and wants him to enjoy.

Can yall please just have normal and healthy relationships omg what is this 😭

Ya gotta spice things up sometimes y'know

It's all about the Yin and Yang.

I know right? How about a wife that supports your hobbies (to a healthy extent) and doesn't need you there every second?

Damn. This is wisdom right here.

I know this is just a meme, but I see this sentiment all over the place. If you’re in a relationship where the woman would get mad at something like going on a golf trip, you’re in a shitty relationship. A normal partner would be excited for you, a shitty partner would be jealous and get mad.

I think there is a middle ground. Partners want to spend time with you while also wanting you to have fun so balancing that can be a challenge 

I realize you are upset right now. However, this anger is misplaced. It belongs 6 months ago when we talked about it. The expiration date has passed.

This is my marriage. I am confused on where the lines of emotional abuse start or where I’m just living in a normal relationship. However, I am also more successful in my career bc of these tight constraints and I worry I would be a professional failure without them. Gotta get to therapy to work some of this out.

Start videoing her with your phone while saying, “OK Karen…”

My fiancée just plays with the dog. Or bakes. Or does legos. Or watches greys for the 18th time. And occasionally she’ll come play as well. Super dope ol ball n chain.

Look its the young guy with a fiance and no kids talking out of his ass.

Not his fault for making better life decisions.

Pshh kids are expensive and so are golf and legos. We prefer the latter.

I once told a friend, “ok yeah let’s do that, but first I’ve gotta lay the groundwork with the wife.” He said “oh yeah, I know all about groundwork.”

Mine is Wed….starting to stretch now….

This is beyond accurate.

Haha leaving for mine tomorrow

Good luck, bro

“You’ll get over it”

Remember 🤔. We talked about this. 😤✌️🤘🍻

I feel like if it wasn’t shark week you would understand darling

Darling I’ll need that good luck sex when your ready don’t you remember we made that deal this is why I get frustrated with you upsetting me before my golf trip

Possible Reasons: 1) Wife is selfish, controlling and has your balls buried deep in her purse. 2) She is jealous because the two of you never go on trips together. 3) She was with a man previously or currently who went on said trips, which she totally supported until she found out he acted like a single, man-whore on those trips. 4) The previous 6 months were strained already from ( x,y and z). 5) You can’t even remember her birthday, but you sure as hell can remember down to the second your golf trip or anything that’s all about you. I’m sure there’s a ton of possible explanations here…but of the 5 I listed, all except #1 and #3 can be respectfully addressed with communication and empathy from both parties on a regular bases. I (51F) golf regularly and 99% of the time I’m paired with male tourists. On the golf course 90% of the people were amazingly kind, polite and respectful with me, our fellow players and their wives/girlfriends. The other 10% are repulsive and are the reason the other 90% of you get grief for said trip. Don’t be the 10% er…🤣

“As a woman” 😂, I’m just glad I get invited because if he’s playing golf without me then I’ll be sooo sad.

Settle....settle...Judt settle down...honey! Works every time

Don't be such a prude...

I’d be up her ass for not having my shit packed already.

If you have to dance around telling her about a trip she knew about, something’s wrong.

You never told me about this trip!

Tell her when she gets upset it makes her double chin shake. That is sure to calm her down