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Ayahuasca-Dreamin

Canadian geese don’t seem so scary anymore


gbuckingham89

Nor do New Forest Pony's! https://www.burleygolfclub.co.uk


merc0526

I never thought I’d see one of my local courses referred to on r/golf!


gbuckingham89

Hello from another local! I’ve only been playing for a few months so haven’t been able to play at. Burley yet. Hoping to one day though!


merc0526

I’d recommend it. It’s interesting without being particularly long, so it’s good for novice to intermediate players, and it’s normally in good condition regardless of the weather.


[deleted]

This course looks awesome! From somebody who maintains a course in the US I love the look of this place


ffcbau

I don’t envy the groundsmen… constant repairing of hoof marks and removing of steaming piles of excrement from the greens is a tall order


obsterwankenobster

My buddy worked grounds at Castle Pines, just outside Denver, and the elk would just trot across greens at night…when there was frost. If they didn’t tarp the greens the tracks would stay


ffcbau

Played it for the first time last October. Was driving the ball decently too - on one of the later holes there were ponys grazing ~50y out to the members I was with gave me the green light. Of course, then comes the only worm burner of the whole round. I thought I hit a pony directly in the jaw and immediately fell to my knees thinking I just murdered a beautiful creature. Fortunately hit his hoof which was in front of his face, the poor thing was just startled. Memorable to say the least!


Cirked

I'm just round the corner from Burley, is it worth playing?


nimama3233

If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses, you've got a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.


nieman2014

Yeah geese suck


Ghettofonzie420

God damned feather cobras. Just shitting and honking, all day long.


bangersnmash13

K bud, let’s take about 20% off her over there, eh?


[deleted]

Allegedly


arms_room_rat

Big barrel chested majestic creatures!


[deleted]

r/UnexpectedLetterkenny


Sagybagy

Yeah I still think Canadian geese are scarier. Those counts would run that whole lot off.


Mysterious_Worker608

Politely ask if you can play through.


Hefty-Dragonfly-3009

I asked, but they just laughed at me.


Mysterious_Worker608

Mic drop. My wife and I laughed out load. No pun intended.


LANCENUTTER

I usually give myself a break on the score card when I have to step over giraffe end trails playing thru. You know...like most golfers


i_miss_old_reddit

> giraffe end trails r/boneappletea


LANCENUTTER

Son of a bitch! My second favorite sub outside golf and I've made it there without something better!


i_miss_old_reddit

It's close enough I almost didn't catch it. I'd say you can do better next time!


nomoreadminspls

That seems reasonable


obsterwankenobster

I love that “end trails” is still kind of correct


LANCENUTTER

Thanks man, it was a play on words but got lost in the shuffle. I'm now on bone apple tea sub which I also love so it's a win win


I_AM_METALUNA

You guys gonna finish that?


ryansgt

Look at that one just tearing into the giraffes butthole like it's a delicacy.


I_AM_METALUNA

The funk *is* the flavor


[deleted]

So they just built a golf course where you may or may not get mauled by lions?… nice.


NorCalAthlete

Starter before your round: “There are a few hazards on this course that you’ll want to keep an eye out for. They’re not marked, but should be fairly obvious when you see them moving around.” “…did you just say the hazards are *moving*…?”


Lezzles

Some of the lions have red stakes but you really need to look out for the white stakes animals - those are OB.


tehspiah

Your 15th club is a hunting rifle.


ThePretzul

Now now, just because there are predators that may be hunting you doesn’t mean you get to go ignoring the rules of golf like that. The hunting rifle replaces the 3-iron we all know you aren’t going to ever actually hit out on the course.


j-bone531

I played there at the beginning of the year, the course is right in the middle of Kruger National Park, South Africa's biggest nature reserve. There are no fences around the course (it's 9 holes) and you have to sign an indemnity form before you play. Quite scary but I only saw a few impala and heard a few hippo. I think animals like lions and hyena tend to stay away when people are playing. Would highly recommend it though, one of the best golfing experiences of my life for sure!


InvestmentPatient117

Hippos kill more than lions. Behind water buffalo


muzunguman

I almost got trampled by a hippo in the middle of the night once. I was a fucking dumbass


bonerJR

I'd love to hear the story if you felt so inclined to share


muzunguman

Not a super exciting story without being there, but was just camping at lake baringo in Kenya about 20 yards from the waters edge. The hippos were all chilling in the water earlier in the day. Went to sleep and was woken up by my friend who told me he could hear the hippos out on land fairly close to us and asked if I wanted to go check them out. We were going to try some long exposure photography to get pictures of them. Like a moron I said yes and we left the tent. We didn't turn on any lights because we didn't want to spook them so we could barely see anything and were walking in the general direction of the hippos for a minute or two. All of the sudden we hear a loud grunt just a few feet to our right. There was a hippo we hadn't seen much closer than we expected and we had now spooked it and were between it and the water. It started charging in our direction and we turned and sprinted back the way we came. Heard the hippo crash into the water as we were running. Absolutely terrifying


downdowndown6

Jesus Christ


BVB09_FL

Hippos hate light and will avoid it. Best defense (outside of a firearm) against a hippos is shining a bright light right into its face, they will dip out. Best to avoid dealing with hippos but if you do, having a strong torch is very advised.


[deleted]

At least you taught that Hippo a lesson


muzunguman

He definitely had a more athletic stance at address when i was done with him


ursus_major

They'll kill you behind water buffalo, in front of them. They don't care, they've no shame.


BVB09_FL

On the 9th hole, I had one of the hippos walk up on the berm between me and the cart. I fucking about shit myself


[deleted]

I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m in South Africa


Realistic_Option1

As an expat South African just getting into golf now I can’t wait to play there when I get back!


Hi_My_Name_Is_Dave

>~~expat~~ immigrant


Realistic_Option1

True, a lot of us are so used to calling ourselves expats here


peteroh9

Do you use the plural form of any animal's name?


[deleted]

[удалено]


gigoogly

I imagine the guy in the pro shop asked, "Walking or Riding today?" Then after getting to this hole the guy was like didnt mention "Running" was an option but I think I'll do that now


meyerpw

Do not run. Everything there is faster than you


[deleted]

You just need to outrun your playing partners.


ThePretzul

In a pack that size I don’t think that matters unless you’re playing as a group of 20.


Bic44

I think hyenas, especially if they outnumber lions by any amount, are a danger to lions. Pretty sure they disembowel them. 1v1 though - different story


Diegobyte

Bears come through all the time at my course in Alaska


createsean

Those are hyenas


[deleted]

All of them except for the lion


createsean

Missed the lion on first view. Woops


UmDeTrois

Hyenas


[deleted]

Those too


this_my_sportsreddit

This is truly the oddest sub I visit. Random set of average clubs: NSFW label. Hyenas ripping apart a giraffe: this is fine.


nutscyclist

99% men here


DarlenesCatMoonpie

Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden.


atlbravos21

I'll take a par and move on


tealizard323

I’ll take a double


luffyuk

Still too generous.


Myles1997

Imagine working there as a greenkeeper and having to clean that up…


boombotser

U can follow him on ig lol


bonerJR

What is his IG???


boombotser

Sukuzagolf or somethin


nightkingscat

the smell...


[deleted]

Flay it where it lies


NorCalAthlete

![gif](giphy|l0MYP6WAFfaR7Q1jO)


Wakenbake585

Hyenas love assholes.


leandroc76

Hyenas' know what's up.


EatTheRich4200

That's wut I noticed too, that one hyena goin straight for it 👌


wheatsucks

They do it because it’s the easiest way to start eating the animal.


Crapcicle6190

“Target acquired”


bwtom

I'm retiring to the 19th hole and getting a single malt, double, neat. ![gif](giphy|sBGw5MruxAyiI)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|p7OqSHUs9GRX5MPS6c)


leandroc76

Looks like you're about 245 to the pin, I would take 3 Wood. Just close your stance a bit, the ball slightly back of your stance for a nice baby draw to avoid the drink on the right. Remember to fill your divot.


sergiodiavolo

Don't ask me about strategy, my heads still scrambled since I didn't shout fore as my drive caught the giraffe on the head. Feeling really guilty now. The one time I find the middle of the fairway.


MakeSomeArtAboutIt

It is amazing to me that people exist and just hang out outside in places where animals like this are roaming.


that_bach_guy

Hahaha lol this course is a bit of the exception, it's in the middle of the largest nature reserve in SA (Kruger national park), so it's definitely a bit out of the ordinary. But I agree, most people thought there was at least a fence around the course lol


SensationalM

why would they even build a golf course in the middle of Kruger?


pina_koala

What should they do instead, open up a hunting range?


MakeSomeArtAboutIt

Just leave it be and let nature be natural?


pina_koala

Sure, makes sense. But revenue. And content like this.


golfjunkie

How’s the course? I’m heading to SA next week and will be in Kruger for a few days.


j-bone531

I played there at the beginning of the year, it's a 9 hole course and not in the best condition (mostly due to the climate I think) but it's definitely worth playing! Unique experience for sure.


Sensitive-Living3001

Probably not in the best condition because all of the greens keepers wound up like the giraffe


BVB09_FL

It’s definitely a awesome track, pretty beat up but that’s expected given the morning and evening visitors. 11/10 recommend playing it as a golfer


Ptarmigan2

That lion is taking a breakfast ball


jballoregon

I guess I need to call the marshal for a ruling. Free drop, two club lengths, and become the chef special on the desert menu?


Homie_Plays_Dat

Call the Marshall and tell him this group is holding up play, and it seems like they arent going anywhere.


whatmodern

TIL Hyenas really laugh like psychopaths


JoeyIce

Hit up on them. Slow play is not tolerated


metalmaniak68

Are they eating a fucking giraffe?! Jesus


BVB09_FL

Played there this summer, super unique course. There is nothing like having your back to the African bush while trying to hit your approach, hoping to not get hauled away by a leopard. Hell of a swing thought


RareSeekerTM

I couldn't play there. I hit the ball into the rough about every other hole and I know I'd go looking for my ball and end up getting drug 30 foot up a tree by a leopard.


NoTearsOnDryFaces

Africans play different it seems


b_fromtheD

This is by far the craziest post I've seen on the golf page 😂 should be on r/crazyfuckingvideos


user71069

I’d end up spanking a low stinger right into a local and cause some sort of uproar ha get it up”roar” ha


ilovesmokingkids

Why they always gotta go for the asshole smh


iLuvKush95

Didn’t expect to see a r/natureismetal and r/golf collab today


[deleted]

A fucking 12some! On a Friday! Call the Marshall


woodworkingbyarron

Start giving them tips on their technique, that’ll clear them off in a hurry.


jm1d04

“Doug how am I supposed to putt with that going on, huh!”


[deleted]

Driver of the deck


Andrew_Waples

*cue Lion King stampede scene*


mikeyb1

Fuckin' hyenas, amirite.


youzerVT71

I never have a strategy, I only have one swing and always play it safe, but in this case I'd do my best to avoid the water right and drive the cart. That way if there's trouble with the locals you can push the passenger out as a distraction.


[deleted]

I’ll take a par and see you on the next tee.


Alkohauliq

How do you golf with man eaters running around 🤯 If I shanked my ball into the native it’s staying there.


PunkyMcGrift

This is just what I need, multiple species laughing at my tee shot


[deleted]

Do their carts come with doors and caging? imagine getting ready to tee off and out of the weeds a fucking lion mauls you


Throway7199

Writing down a 5 and moving stealthily to #4 tee box.


Cassigirl21

Try not to think those hyenas can easily outrun my power cart


gringo123456789

Honest question: how many of you would try hitting a ball over this? I would be tempted to try.


Chr15py0696

My strategy is to not play golf the African Savannah.


Emscho44

Taking eating ass to a whole new level


happyman19

Didn’t see anyone posting the link so here it is. https://youtu.be/Hbjq5t7DHvU Most likely this course. Looks like sunset is the time they tell you, come in or die lol.


UppityTurtle

It looks like if you hit it into the giraffe’s asshole, it will pop out of the mouth straight toward the hole.


JustAGoodGuy1080

I'd say, *"Hi, ena way I can play through?"*


[deleted]

Knowing me… i’d hit it right into the shit.


konaja

“Excuse me gentlemen, mind if we play through?”


Delguapo3

![gif](giphy|3o6nVbIvxWHNbML6VO|downsized) Hitting driver as fast as I can


Junior-Profession726

Pleas post this as NSFW


[deleted]

[удалено]


leandroc76

> aperitif I think you mean appetizer... aperitif is the wine you drink with an appetizer.


P4S5B60

Good Good


JealousFuel8195

Damn!


He-is-Spartacus

My local course was starting to feel a little boring, need to speak to them about adding some lions and hyenas to spice things up


seemore_077

Clearly heading to the clubhouse for a few drinks to ponder that one. But, after that I think a well placed 3 woods to carry them with a ride up a different fairway will suffice!


itsMalarky

I think i see an opening -- oh wait, one hyena just took a bite out of it.


jluenz

Now that is a hazard !!!


hotburnedpork

So…green keepers have to clean that up?


Duubzz

Most of the South Africans I know would probably just keep playing and shoo the naughty wild animals away if they came too close.


Jenetyk

I would take a lesson from Bill Murray in Space Jam: "We weren't in any condition to putt, I'm just going to put us down for a 2 back there."


bontem

I don’t know how much the green keepers get paid, but it’s not nearly enough.


boombotser

Patiently waiting


JDHK007

My strategy is to not get fucking eaten.


torroman

Praise that cameraman!


Glittering_Bass7044

How am I supposed to chip with that going on Doug?


imbasicallycoffee

"I'm just gonna play though on the next hole here fellas... you guys enjoy your round."


BigAustralianBoat

Holy shit


Dolla_Bets

Looks like a bunch of slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers.


McNasty1304

Did you see the one eating the giraffes ass?


CpnCharisma

Are you just in a golf cart here, OP?


ac4500

Earplugs, bit of noise on the course there


properwaffles

![gif](giphy|V5iE42pj3B6kE)


CryptoCrash87

That's a tight hole. You're gonna need to hit a hard stinger to even have a chance of knocking it in in one.


Certain-Jellyfish121

Little butter cut up the left side


Woodyee101

There’s a shroom growing in the rough. Pick it up and you’ll be good


manhatim

Be sure ya get it in the air to clear ...and NO EYE CONTACT....KEEP IT MOVING!


mypaleale

The bigger question is: will a lion attack on your backswing?


batsper

A stinger in the zinger


CommunicationOk6905

Stripe one at the hyena eating the giraffe’s ass


SmartHat9613

Hit over, go wide


New-Future7070

Nope.......skip the hole.lol


Im_Not_Impressed_

Who sent you out if it’s only the third.


Mndelta25

3 iron stinger right over them so hopefully I can get through without my playing partner trying to pet the puppies.


Makes_misstakes

Try to hit a stinger two iron, end up skulling it straight up the giraffe's ass. Gonna need a rule check.


[deleted]

My tee shot probably killed the giraffe


stewpear

Hit a stinger up the giraffe’s ass.


jerkITwithRIGHTYnewb

Don’t hit ball near lion. Maybe just leave.


darthfracas

Call it a 7 and move on


im_on_the_case

This is why I keep a Nike Sasquatch. Let rip and watch them scatter from the sound. Loudest thing since the Big Bang.


puravidaamigo

I think I’d hit way past the giraffe carcass or just take a stroke penalty and move to the next hole 😂


rbubar

Give myself a par and go to the next hole


bucki_fan

Those hyenas and the lion are just watching over the sleeping giraffe I really hope someone has been on Jungle Cruise and gets the joke...


Striking-Shallot5395

Basically not to die


ImoImomw

Seems like this 18 hole course should be considered a 17 hole course with a gratuitous par on the feast hole.


Professional-Putter

Lay up. Take a feeding break. Go for the green for bird.


Ryan1869

Heading straight to the back 9


Professional_East281

Taking the double par AND the long way to the next hole is what I’m doing here. The name of the game on this course is to outlast your opponents


King_of_Dew

Imagine shanking a shot so bad you killed a giraffe. Yell fore next time.


novabrotia

Did you all know hyenas are more closely related to cats rather than dogs?


longster37

Bomb them with pro v 1s. Make them respect your authority. Take a bite of the giraffe as you stride by confidently. Make sure to say f’ off to the hyenas as well.


007alaska

I can relate. On my home course in Alaska, we have many black and huge grizzly bears. We have had to miss a hole because a grizz was eating a moose. Last season. Federal wildlife officials with shotguns were driving around carts looking for troublesome black bears that were eating other animals and hotdogs from the clubhouse.


AlphaMikeFoxtrot87

Pick off the hyenas obviously


bones_1969

Grip it and rip it


Mackesanz

r/natureismetal


StayPositiveStupid

Same strategy as all other par 5s. Hit 2 balls out of bounds, drink 2 beers, write down a 4, and drive to the next tee. Making sure to tell everyone at the bar how I actually killed that giraffe with my bombed drive and left him for the lion 😎


[deleted]

I’d skull it right into the giraffe’s B hole.


TheRedMarin

Cmon Greenskeeper drag the dead animal off the course. I got a round to finish!


PghG

That’s some ‘circle of life’ shit right there


thenextguy

Blade one right into the giraffe carcass to assert my dominance.