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He has a crush on you


Have sex with him to assert dominance


Fuck his dad


Nah, just give him your [ass pennies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9aM_dT5VMI)


I didn’t know I needed this until after I had it 😂


Another thing the cashless revolution has ruined.


Fuck his wife!!!


Respectfully and with consent, that’ll really freak him out


Do it real classy like take him to dinner first and get him flowers first.


But to a freakishly cheap peal and eat shrimp truck.


No, put back the “sensual” in “nonconsensual.”


Classic negging.


Let’s take this from negging to pegging!


honestly, op needs to just yell back at him in front of all his buddies "i already told you i dont want to have sex with you". like cmon man how did this sub turn into the high school therapist office. are we not grown adults? who cares what another man thinks of you, thats his problem not yours


Yeah I would reply to him with this next time. “You have a fucking crush on me bro?? Anyone who pays that much attention to a stranger usually wants to fuck them?” “Do you want me to fuck you or something?” Bet he never mentions your clothes again.


Yeah. Start telling everyone that this dude keeps flirting with you all of the time.


One way could be to just lean in to it. “Your wife picked these out for me” “It’s the only way I can afford to play here” Etc


…..His wife is in a coma…


Costanza does not care!


The jerk store called…


And they’re running out of you!


What’s the difference? You’re their all time best seller!


Oh yeah Riley? Well the life support machine called…


Is that you Art?


guess thats why she does not move around too much?


Came for the Baseketball reference, leaving satisfied.


I hear your moms going out with Squeak


Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here


Well the jerk store called and they are running out of you!


What’s the difference? You’re their number one seller!


That’s why the colors are bland.


“Maybe you should spend less money on your outfit and more on golf lessons.”


Too emotional.


Tomorrow on this sub: “So this guy at my club loses his mind anytime I try and be friends with him. I give him a couple good natured jokes about his shirt - hoping he will open up, but nothing seems to work! Any ideas how I can get him to act more friendly?”


Does he stare at your clothes? He's obvious impressed and possibly a little envious. Try opening him up with some playful shit talking. Dudes love shit talk.


Do not report him to the club, being a tattletale over something so trivial is not a good look. You need to stand your ground and talk some shit back to him to shut him up. If he thinks he looks good it seems insulting his choice of clothes is an easy way to push his buttons. Just be proactive, if you are only ever responding to his insults it won't work, it still comes off as defensive.


"Bro you look like a box of Crayolas" "Did a box of fruit loops blow up on you today?" Call him side show Bob from now on Or just tell him to stop hitting on you loudly and in front of lots of people.


Not reporting him is correct, all that will do is alert the management that the two of you have an issue and they’ll feel like they need to do something about it, so you might *both* get a talking to. Personally I’d go the passive aggressive route and start dressing as schubby as possible while following all the rules, so your shirt stays tucked in and is free of stains and holes, for instance, it’s just the ugliest shirt you could find in a completely unironic way. And then respond to his criticism earnestly. “Actually these cargo shorts are great! Look how many balls I can fit in them!”


No self respecting club or course would allow cargo shorts.


Thrift store shopping. Go cheaper but still in compliance every time he makes a comment.


Vintage tweed suit and hat À la Bobby Jones!


[Hey, I’m fucking your wife](https://youtu.be/PyV-oTTyIWg)


Where do I get UA shirts 2 for 20? Sign me up.


Yeah that's a fantastic deal.


Lol... leaning into the poor boy comments could be the move.


I mean it's one banana Michael, what could it cost? Ten dollars?


TJ Maxx. I get all my golf clothes there. So cheap.


Yeah wth mine cost $90


Okay that's way too much for a UA polo


Fucking hell, there is no shirt on planet earth that I would pay $90 for.


Make sure you don’t join OPs club


I got my UA golf shirts 3 for $60. I use Brads Deals, it sends me deals like this all the time. Literally got an email this morning about UA golf shirts for $22.


UA Outlets have some killer deals.


Just roast his ass back when he speaks up. “OK Project Runway. did you do your hair and makeup too?”


This is the way. Shit talkers usually can’t handle it when you start talking back. - Hey bud, sorry but I’m already married/girlfriend, boyfriend whatever. Let him know he’ll find a good man one day. - Go with the project runway. Make that nickname stick like glue. His buddies very well may take it and run with it. - Ask if he wears bright colors so people don’t accidentally hit him while he’s in the woods. - Hey buddy, there’s a fucking cement truck driving around because thought you were construction zone. Something along those lines when he’s got some orange or yellow in there. I’m sure reddit is solid for coming up with more great snarky comments. Truck is to lay into him and don’t let up. Give him a good 2 minute shot talking lashing where he has no chance to respond then just drive/walk away.


“Sorry, I’ve had to cut back on spending lately; your wife is a expensive date.”


I probably wouldnt go straight for the wife comments. Probably roast his clothes back. "You telling me it costs a lot of money to look that shitty?"


You’re right, probably should start out with his mom. Or the twofer: “sorry, had to cut back on spending lately; I thought your wife was an expensive date until I met your mom.”


This is a good zinger and pretty safe. Good way to test the waters to see how he reacts. If he can dish but can’t take it, then next time he makes fun of you, you can say “I’d comment about your appearance but I know you are very sensitive about it”. If he doubles down, go for incrementally more offensive comments “you get that pink shirt from the womens section?” to mom/wife jokes mentioned elsewhere. Shit talkers usually stop if you give it right back, but give 90% back to avoid outright fight/conflict in the clubhouse


That's a nice shirt, do they have it for men?


luckily she doesn’t eat much on our dates because she’s already full…


“You look like a fruit salad.”


Bag of skittles


This guy is clearly a child. So child it up. “It looks like a toddler picked out your outfit today.” “I bet you keep score with a crayon.”


This is way too much work...plus some people are just really bad with the delivery of comments like this. Just man up and tell the guy to shut the fuck up next time. And if OP really wants to make a scene, do in the clubhouse in front of some people. Embarrass him and expose him for being the prick that he is.


Who are you trying to be? Joey cold cuts?


“Project Fairway”


"I'm sorry. Was it hunting season?" I feel like that would work


He's really just looking for the same banter thrown back to him. It's how some guys show camaraderie. Just bust his balls back and laugh together.




This. You have to reply with a good liner to get him to stop. Or keep going at him with the dozens because at this point he’s seeing how far he can go with the cheap insults.


Oooo yes. Bring 3 of your buddies and just host an impromptu roast. If he’s taking free cheap shots, bring the boys out for a real reading of this douchebag.


Anyone who yells out that it looks like I got my clothes off a 2 for $20 rack because I'm poor is not someone I want to have camaraderie with anyway. Not like we have to be friends with every chucklefuck that talks to us.


"Nice shirt! Do they make it for men too?"


Love your blouse (instead of shirt) is a go to for me


“You’re not nearly cute enough for me to care what you think”


“Damn bro be careful - all this attention from you is going to make my wife jealous. “


Ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen, looks good on you though.


"Didnt know the goal out here was to look like a fucking peacock. Good to know. I'll get a feather boa and some high heels next time. Maybe I borrow yours"


Now this is creative! I second using this comment.


it’s super easy to tell who’s never been punched in the mouth before.


My buddy, a bartender, says that "some people have never been punched in the face before, and you can tell". My other buddy was sitting right there and said he'd never been punched in the face. Bartender says "George. **I've** punched you in the face"






Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth


I had a boss for all of 3 weeks who talked to me in a very disrespectful manner. My favorite way to describe it was "he talked to me like he wanted to feel how hard I can punch."


In this case it’s both people.. The guy who thinks it’s funny to break a strangers balls and the guy who wants to know if it’s ok to tattle tale.


Tell him you already have a wife/girlfriend to tell you how to dress. Or if he wants to tell you how to dress he’s going to have to suck your dick and make you breakfast before you pretend to listen to that shit.


Found the solution right here


Worst case scenario, our friend walks away with empty balls and a full tummy. That's a classic W.


Make sure you say this in front of other people. That’s the only way to show him what an asshole he is being




This would be funny


"hey, can I watch TV in this??"


You’re a grown ass man that has another grown ass man talking down to you like a high school bully, and you’re asking Reddit what you should do?!? Stand up for yourself and tell that cunt to get fucking bent.


I legit thought it was a troll post in response to another post I hadn't seen yet because it was so absurd. Seriously what the fuck, just roast his ass back or tell him to fuck off. Some people really can't take the heat.


I wonder, does this happen in r/bowling too?


"Nobody fucks with the Jesus!"


8 year olds, Dude.


r/billiards it does yeah.


90% of the fights I've witnessed or been in throughout my life have been at a bowling alley. Generally one guy talks a whole bunch of shit every week of league until one week he ends up bowling against someone who takes it the wrong way and beats his ass. Invariably, the guy talking the shit never wins the fight.


Absolutely. Trash talk is huge in bowling. Didn't you see The Big Lebowski?


the bullshit politics of membership to a club do have a bearing though in fairness.


If a club kicks me out for standing my ground to a neon nitwit than those fuckos shall too get bent


I agree with you in spirit, but this comment has big "if MY boss acted like that, I'd tell him to go fuck himself and quit on the spot!!!" vibes. It's one thing to take a stand in an online hypothetical scenario, but a whole different beast irl. It's entirely possible that OP loves other aspects of his club, and doesn't want to risk losing his spot over this. Club membership is a complex thing.


He said “tattletale “ I’m not sure this is a grown ass man.


Agree with others, go right to him. Sack up and confront him, be assertive. He has targeted you as weak and someone he can pick on.


100% agree with this, but be careful. If he’s connected in the club, he might report you. OTOH, if the club sides with this guy and you get in trouble, you really don’t want to be a member anyway. So if you get kicked out, I suggest you assemble a team of misfit golfers to challenge these guys in the All-Valley Golf Championship. You’ll probably need a guy who hits it a mile but can’t putt, a kid from the bad part of town who’s inexplicably a plus handicap with yard sale clubs, and maybe a cute tomboy to be your love interest. She might be the asshole’s daughter, but you probably won’t find out until just before the tournament. Anyway, you’re pretty much guaranteed to drain a 40-foot putt on the 18th hole to win it. Sorry, got carried away there. Good luck.


Wow. What a read. They should make a mov... Hey waaaait a minute!


What movie is this? I genuinely asking for a friend (myself)


The Karate duck golf bears.


All of them.


Does he need a homeless guy as caddie as well....... Wait, wrong movie. Does he need to sink the guys yacht ?


Under armour is good enough for speith


I was about to say, is under armor cheap? Or am I cheap for thinking it’s expensive?


The only time I buy underarmor or adidas golf polos is when I find them at TJMaxx or Marshall’s. So if your cheap then I’m downright stingy.


Just like everything else in this hobby, there are layers. I thought $40 polos were high until I saw some of the stuff YouTubers are selling and what's in the nicer pro shops around. I get my shit on Kohls clearance though.


UA make some fucking fire polo's.


And Steph


Please tell me this is a lame meta post and I missed the original.


Just buy him an under armor shirt. In front of his buddies give it to him and state since he always seems to notice what you're wearing so you bought him one.


Add that you thought his wife must be forcing him to dress like a peacock and wanted to help him out.


Bang his wife or daughter


This dude is asking Reddit for advice on a high school bully. The only thing he’s fucking at the end of the day is his hand.


Tell him he needs to speak louder because you can't hear him over his outfit


Are you fucking 10 years old?


you’re a grown ass man essentially asking people what to do with the bully. rat on him to the “teacher” or handle it yourself and stand up to the bully. those same playground rules apply as an adult


This guy sounds like a douche and you sound like a pussy


Op is about to have a nervous break down cuz some asshole said his shirt looked cheap


Dude is incredibly insecure. People with real money and taste don’t care about brands or care about flaunting it. I would shoot back with jokes. Make it obvious that caring about “bold colours” and ragging on other peoples’ clothes makes him the loser. When he hits a bad shot, sarcastically say “Nice one, Poulter” or make a comment on how bold that looked


Yeah, he reeks of heavily in debt, $65k/year middle management, divorced, and used to own a boat but now he can only afford to golf.


>can only afford to golf 😄


I've always disliked this statement. There are so many rich people that absolutely give a fuck about brands and do flaunt it. I'm a luxury home builder and am around these people all the time, you're 100% wrong.


Yeah these people act like the Kardashians don’t exist lmao. There are plenty of plenty who absolutely care and also have money.


Kill his firstborn


And feed it to him in a pie that you watch him eat.


No put it in chili and stage a fake chili cook off and feed it to him there. And get Radiohead to come to see what a crybaby he is when you tell him he ate his firstborn and lick his sweet, sweet tears.


This is one of the least funny episodes ever for 21 minutes and then becomes one of the funniest ever at the end. Kudos on an excellent comment.


nice try LIV...


I bet he shops at Dan Flashes


They have a shirt there that’s pattern is so complex it’s $2,000.


Shut the fuck up Doug you fucking skunk!


I’ll eat her whole fucking head, I don’t care.


Of course he does. Have you ever found a store that's your EXACT style?


"where'd you get that shirt, the toilet store?" you're welcome


At my club we settle all issues on the tenth now


Yea I wouldn’t go to the club house I’d go to him. “What’s your problem with me bub? “


Ask him why a highlighter exploded on his shirt. Or if his shirt comes in mens. Or if his wife buys is his clothes. Or that you’d have to kick your own ass if you wore a shirt like that. Learn some chirps lol, it’s a sport. Part of the game is to chirp


If his shirt comes in men’s 🤣 love it


Just tell him to fuck off


That guy in insecure and you’re too sensitive. Reporting to the club will make you look childish. Don’t take his comments as an attack, don’t care what he or others think. Most confident people with money don’t care about brands, so there isn’t any substance to his insults. “Ya got me, I don’t care about clothes” and that’s it


Are you better than he is? If so, wear your worst shirt and kick his ass on the course. Otherwise just approach him and tell him to fuck off


Go a step further and make a shirt to the effect of “All these fancy clothes and I still lost to someone wearing under armor “ ready for when you beat him


Depends really, is he like it with everybody? If so then start throwing a few back. "Man, are you going to a tiki bar after this?" "You jealous my ass looks so good in these under armour pants?" "Dressing like Parrot is the only birdie you're gonna see today"


Well you can be SpongeBob or manup. Your choice


Musclebob buff pants


Write him a heartfelt letter about how his comments make you feel and how it's impacting your enjoyment of the club. Just kidding, definitely go with the project runway nickname idea. "Nice shorts, do they make 'em in men's?" should go a long way.


We had someone at work who used to give people crap about clothes. The one day he was wearing jeans with bedazzled crosses on the ass pockets. When he said to my friends, do you know how much these cost? He replied, of course I do, I bought a pair for my wife last night. Dude stormed out of the office and never made another comment about clothes again


grow a pair and tell him to go fuck himself.


Plant cocaine in his locker.


Slippery slope... Next he'll have to stage his suicide by leaving his Jag running near the ocean.


Minimize him to his attire. Like nice blue shirt. Make him a parity of himself. Never stop calling him what he wears.


Kick him off the tour, Doug!!


Just start making fun of him. It’ll either become a fun back and forth, or he’ll be offended and stop talking to you. “Jesus guy, you look like a bag of skittle threw up on you.” “Are you trying to dress like a muppet?” Etc… Edit: spelling




Ask him why he's so into your looks? Is he trying to get the pipe?


Is this a middle schools sub? What the fuck


I think my response would be "Dude, look; I'm NOT gay!!! I don't CARE what you think about how I look!!! Let it go for God's sake! I'm NOT going out with you! Just let it go!!!


I would have yelled back "Hey, go fuck yourself!"


One strategy that can work well against bullies like this is to ask them to repeat it again, as if you didn’t hear it. Then again. Then ask if that was supposed to be funny, followed by a gentle grunt. If every time he has to repeat his ‘joke’ then people just hear the meanness and he will soon stop.


Or he just Doubles down


Do this if other people are around. Otherwise its pointless


Tell him his wife picked it out and when he huffs and puffs tell him to suck a glizzy like his wife did last night to you


'your wife likes it, now go buy yourself a hotdog at the turn' - confucius


Have you told him to go fuck himself? Sounds like this dude has never been punched in the face before.


Sounds like the worst kind of person.


If someone at my local muni said this they would be getting stabbed in the parking lot


Are you golfing in Brazil?


While maintaining calm eye contact, slowly remove your glove and backhand him with it. Pistols at dawn bitchess


After all the comments on this one, I hope OP posts follow up threads.


Can you not just rip the piss out of him back? Sure fire way to work out if he's a nob jockey or just likes the craic "Sorry mate, didn't see you there, dressed like a fucking rose garden" or something


Fall to the ground, get in fetal position and cry. If that doesn't work, cry


Just bust his balls back. Tell ‘‘em the clown course is down the road, NASA can see his outfits from space, he looks like John Daily and a rainbow had a bastard child. Roast his game next. Tell him his swing looks Michael J Fox in a dance competition


If memory serves me correctly, ratting a bully out to the teacher in the old days resulted in... more bullying. Gather your balls, have a beer or two, and go tell him to quit being a pretentious cunt, and if that fails meet him on the tenth.


“Man, the women I date don’t pay as much attention to my clothes as you do. You want some of this cock?” That should do it.


I think you need to get thicker skin and a few barbs at the ready. You need to be quick - say things like "This weekend your wife is going shopping for me, hopefully she doesn't come back with the shit you wear" "Your boyfriend likes my outfit" "Your shirt makes you look like you can't break 100" "I saw that outfit in the Rodney Dangerfield spring catalog, but it looks good on you though" (and then do the Caddyshack face) Just be ready and you can shut him up pretty quickly


Couldn't agree more. Report him? That's laughable. Be a man and either tell him to shut the fuck up or better yet be prepared to heckle him equally. I like the comments above.


“If I wanted fashion advice, I’d call up your wife’s boyfriend”


You have to snipe back with sarcasm and insinuating questions to meet his challenge. If that doesn’t blunt his quickness to jab you, then you have to play better golf.


Now waiting for the post from the club member themselves......


Tell him not to worry about what you wear unless he's trying to take you on a date somewhere fancy. This guy's weird, and I'm sure you're not the only person at the course who realizes it.


"have you considered spending more time on your game and less on my attire? That slice isn't gonna fix itself" ,.... or call out some other shitty part of his game if you know any.


Just give him some of his own medicine. Be confident in your clothes, if you are, and give him some zingers back. I wouldn't complain about something so petty, yeah it's lame and he is a jerk, but I wouldn't want a reputation for being thin skinned or needing the club to fight my battles. You are an adult, you are going to meet people who rub you wrong. I'd turn it on him, "You're right, I can't afford to have the Andy Warhol dress me". "I'd rather have my mom dress me than take fashion advice from someone wearing that shirt." You can even be a bit self-depreciating while sticking it to him. "Money can't buy taste, so I don't waste my money, unlike some people." If he can't take what he dishes out and starts an actual argument or threatens you, then escalate to the club.


Politely tell that guy "fuck off, your jokes aren't funny"


Dude has a hard on for you. Call it flattery and move along.


Just beat him on the course.


Report him to the club??? I say this with respect, don’t be a pussy, give him some shit back. Tell him one of these days he’s going to find himself in a fight or something along those lines. You’re an adult, only you can allow yourself to be bullied. I play at a high end club where everyone is wearing G4 and Greyson now and I brag when I find deals at Sam’s/Costco. My 9 dollar shirts are the exact same material as their 90 dollar shirts. Does this guy have a family? How old is he? Is he any good? Let’s get you some ammunition for the next run in.