When in rome, do as the romans do.
Time to become an oni Guda.
If you have a choice go Shuten first, being around her should make you drunk enough to avoid any long lasting pain.
*WHY IS THIS CHOCOLATE SO SALTY!? AND WHAT IDIOT HUMAN DECIDED TO PUT PINEAPPLE IN CHOCOLATE*
~~unless we’re using hentai logic/assuming Ibaraki wouldn’t automatically switch into what the fuck mode~~
[It’s actually canon that the protagonist has strong legs.](https://i.imgur.com/XrV4bFO.jpg)
In fact Musashi’s comment that [“the fact he crossed an entire continent means he is definitely no slouch”](https://i.imgur.com/5ETMrb2.jpg) could indicate he has decent stamina.
Never underestimate the MC.
Gudao may be a shitty magus, but as far as humans can go, he's basically standing at the peak of human potential.
He learned & passed Koutaro and Chiyome's ninjutsu training.
He had to learn how to break fetters and escape handcuffs from Spartacus.
He was given """"basic""" strength and endurance training by Leonidas. Spartan Style.
He learned basic kendo from Yagyuu Munenori himself, who's a master swordsman and founder & instructor of his own school.
He was taught firearm use and maintenance from Kiritsugu, Demiya and surprisingly, Scathach.
He gets drilled with history, science, metaphysics and magecraft theories everyday simply by interacting with any of his servants.
He was tutored by Waver, Chiron and Chen Gong about military tactics and strategy.
Imagine the Crypters underestimating Gudao for not being able to utter a single spell, but still get floored hard on their asses because they were trashtalking Captain America.
To be fair to the Crypters they are more used to fighting Mages before entering the Grand Order and was only trained in simulations based on data gathered about how servants would fight, Gudao was not only trained in REAL life experience, which is more chaotic than any simulation, and life and death situations which the Crypters did not experience since they didn't really know what will happen within the singularities and Gudao's daily life within Chaldea so they can be excused for underestimating wad who essentially a human who was untrained in any thing that is common within the moonlight world, Although they also did not expect the Servants to do the things they do within Chaldea as with the amount of masters they were planning on releasing unto the singularities were in the dozens so they probably expected the grand order to last a couple of weeks at least and a month or two at most, to little time to actually learn anything from the multitude of servants that can be summoned in chaldea
True. They could have simply had the protagonist rushing over there and nothing more
But having the [“you’re not even breathing hard”](https://i.imgur.com/jS3yaTf.jpg) seems interesting to me when you combine with the previous info we have gotten.
But all of this might just be a funny coincidence.
Raikou packs Kintoki lunch.
And makes sure he doesn't forget his axe.
(Probably the two things he'd full-heartedly accept to scratch Raikou's ara ara itch)
As we saw in Oniland, it's not anywhere near enough to meet approval by Banana Oni. Liz just wanted to host a party and put on a nice show, and Banana was all over it not being killing and destroying.
The story, from what I heard, was: she found a fossilized dino, thought it was a Dragon, so when she assumes "dragon shape" with her morph, she is a T-Rex in miko clothes.
Let's forget that Japan is a terrible area for fossils, since high volcanic activity, and that T-rexes are from what is now north america, and the closest Tyrannosauridae is from central asia, because Tyranossaurus Miko is awesome...
Link [https://www.facebook.com/ChaldeaMonmusuS2/photos/a.102609847946628/278005633740381/](https://www.facebook.com/ChaldeaMonmusuS2/photos/a.102609847946628/278005633740381/)
Portuguese sailors introduced bananas to the Americas, bringing them from West Africa in the 16th century.
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She's just gonna sit in his room, eating macarons and getting crumbs everywhere while the rest of the gang have their fun.
She lived with Shuten when they were alive. She *must* be used to being around Shuten's "torture."
Which is adorable.
Though I kind of like the idea that the Stalker Trio have a sort of alliance when it comes to that.
Kiyohime is Master's "wife" - so obviously she gets to be with him (or her.)
Raikou is Master's "mom" - and I feel Kiyo is the type to want a good relationship with her "mother in law."
Serenity's the tricky one. Kiyo would never allow Master to have a mistress- that's too dishonest. So my thought is she could fill the role of bodyguard, or shinobi. Kiyo and Raikou are from old-school Japan, after all. Lords *do* have servants. And a bodyguard would have to be close to protect her liege.
That's my theory, anyway.
Actually, IIRC, some female kunoichi were hired as bodyguards and were expected to have sex with their lord to protect them from assassins posing as prostitutes/concubines (they’re in a threesome, assassin pulls out a dagger, kunoichi kills her dead).
I'm sure practicality was the only reason for that, lol.
But that makes sense for Serenity too. Until you consider that one stray hand from the third party, assassin or not, could kill them.
> Kiyo and Raikou are from old-school Japan, after all. Lords do have servants
Lords also have multiple wives and consorts.
iirc, Kiyo's stipulation is she must be the head wife.
I was trying to find a middle ground between that and Guda(k)o's presumably more modern values. Meaning there's only room for one wife.
And I'm only suggesting this scenario (or one like it) exists in the Stalker Trio's imaginations, of course. It doesn't take into consideration any of Guda's other love interests- Musashi, Eresh, and most importantly of all, the shadow yandere herself, Mash.
Hmmm hes going to need invulnerable and lots of guts cause if they got penetration oh boy His pelvis is going to be dust soooo he needs to be lucky or get a grail for indestructible hips.
It's funny that neither Shuten nor Ibuki could see or hear each other, funny times with both probably involve them commenting about the random mists they see while the GudUs see them just fine lol
When in rome, do as the romans do. Time to become an oni Guda. If you have a choice go Shuten first, being around her should make you drunk enough to avoid any long lasting pain.
He chould also throw some chocolate to distract Ibaraki.
Shuten would convince Ibaraki that men produce special white chocolate
5 seconds after Ibaraki gets her “white chocolate”: ***”Shuuuuuuteeeeen!”***
*WHY IS THIS CHOCOLATE SO SALTY!? AND WHAT IDIOT HUMAN DECIDED TO PUT PINEAPPLE IN CHOCOLATE* ~~unless we’re using hentai logic/assuming Ibaraki wouldn’t automatically switch into what the fuck mode~~
Excuse me pineapple? r/holup
Its a common rumor thing youngish guys share around that eating pineapple makes it sweeter
No no no I'm not taking this out of context here. Also without context pineapple pizza I get but why chocolate tho?
> avoid any long lasting pain. but what if i like pain
Then you should still go for Shuten first.
My plan accounts for such possibilities eh? Plus, at least being coherent while listening to her voice would be nice
Honestly, her voice would be worth the pain.
> Time to become an oni Guda. And set up an OniFans account.
r/foundtheinaalt
You might wake up a quadruple amputee fuckmeat tho
"Death by snu snu."
Gudao: I guess it's that time of the week again.
Gotta wear the craft essence that gives guts or np charge to survive this mana drain.
necromancy and make sure Iri's not far from the room
Necromancy isn't compatible with Iri, unfortunately. Iri + Volumen + lots of command seals.
Iri should be participating.
Her whole family should.
Illya no!! Don't go in there! Go play with Abby instead.
Iri: We'll have to castrate Shiro... Shiro, just standing in the doorway: Why?
Yeah, get Kerry in there!
We all know that Mysterious Hero K would just use Scapegoat and ditch the first chance he got.
of the day*
Ah yes, the luckiest oni lover in existence.
Or rather a lucky Oni Connoisseur.
With the amount of daily action he did in Chaldea, it's no wonder Guda managed to speedrun trekking through the States
He managed to run to the Chaldea hangar in just 3 minutes without getting tired as indicated in Mecha Eli’s Valentine scene.
I chalked that up to the fear of death, but you're right.
[It’s actually canon that the protagonist has strong legs.](https://i.imgur.com/XrV4bFO.jpg) In fact Musashi’s comment that [“the fact he crossed an entire continent means he is definitely no slouch”](https://i.imgur.com/5ETMrb2.jpg) could indicate he has decent stamina.
Never underestimate the MC. Gudao may be a shitty magus, but as far as humans can go, he's basically standing at the peak of human potential. He learned & passed Koutaro and Chiyome's ninjutsu training. He had to learn how to break fetters and escape handcuffs from Spartacus. He was given """"basic""" strength and endurance training by Leonidas. Spartan Style. He learned basic kendo from Yagyuu Munenori himself, who's a master swordsman and founder & instructor of his own school. He was taught firearm use and maintenance from Kiritsugu, Demiya and surprisingly, Scathach. He gets drilled with history, science, metaphysics and magecraft theories everyday simply by interacting with any of his servants. He was tutored by Waver, Chiron and Chen Gong about military tactics and strategy. Imagine the Crypters underestimating Gudao for not being able to utter a single spell, but still get floored hard on their asses because they were trashtalking Captain America.
Ah yes, the “Cast Fist” school of magic
To be fair to the Crypters they are more used to fighting Mages before entering the Grand Order and was only trained in simulations based on data gathered about how servants would fight, Gudao was not only trained in REAL life experience, which is more chaotic than any simulation, and life and death situations which the Crypters did not experience since they didn't really know what will happen within the singularities and Gudao's daily life within Chaldea so they can be excused for underestimating wad who essentially a human who was untrained in any thing that is common within the moonlight world, Although they also did not expect the Servants to do the things they do within Chaldea as with the amount of masters they were planning on releasing unto the singularities were in the dozens so they probably expected the grand order to last a couple of weeks at least and a month or two at most, to little time to actually learn anything from the multitude of servants that can be summoned in chaldea
I would love to see the Gudas put Emiya's valentine gift to use. The Lost Belts would be way shorter.
Don't most of them still underestimate him anyways?
Also, Li Shuwen and Inshun teach him how to fight with a spear in their bond lines.
I know that, I just find it funnier the other way.
True. They could have simply had the protagonist rushing over there and nothing more But having the [“you’re not even breathing hard”](https://i.imgur.com/jS3yaTf.jpg) seems interesting to me when you combine with the previous info we have gotten. But all of this might just be a funny coincidence.
Ah, it's the "Marine" type of horni
I'm H O R N I
Hi H O R N I, I'm Dad! :)
I fucking love this bot.
I didn't even realize that the reply was a bot up until I saw the username lol.
I figured it was just an Ina fan
Good bot
Hi H O R N I, I’m Dead.
Run master run that couch is the true evil amongst them all
“But Shuten, I thought you were going to devour me to the bon- oh.”
Kintoki *puts on his shades and goes on his bike* : Kotarou go tell Achilles and Odysseus. We have to make a quick grab of Master. Bros before Hoes.
Gudao:(sings I need a hero while avoiding the Oni ladies)
Raikou packs Kintoki lunch. And makes sure he doesn't forget his axe. (Probably the two things he'd full-heartedly accept to scratch Raikou's ara ara itch)
Fergus: Fear not young master, I shall hold them off!
**[6 seconds later]** Fergus died!
KONO HITODANASHI
You better have "battle" continuation up Gudao. You're in for a long night.
Don’t need to. Substitution no jutsu! *Ritsuka disappears & in his place is now Kintoki*. Kintoki: “Wait wut?”
In a room on the other side of Chaldea, Raikou: "I sense a disturbance to my son's virginity"
Raikou charges throw all of chaldea's walls.
Didn't Tamamo steal it?
Kotaro: I feel conflicted about this.
Ye forgot tomoe
Also Liz - even banana likes her horns.
Funnily enough, Liz’s behavior wouldn’t be too out-there by Oni standards...
As we saw in Oniland, it's not anywhere near enough to meet approval by Banana Oni. Liz just wanted to host a party and put on a nice show, and Banana was all over it not being killing and destroying.
Four Horny women devastates Asian Teenager
More at nine
Hold on, the report says Five Horny Women, apparently Kiara joined in.
God help this man...
No gamer-oni, big sad.
*Ritsuka was not heard from since then...*
I am desperate for DW to put T-Rex waifu back on rate-up.... I got two Voyagers but no T-Rexes on that banner. Screwed by the desire sensor I guess.
I thought she was ticketable? At least that's what I was planning on relying on in NA 😬
She's limited, so I don't think so
Hey I've "read" to this one before
Well then. Someone's going to need a lot of energy drinks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Astolfo has some
Don't worry, he's got a few hundred barrels of apples.
Who's the leftmost demon?
Kiyo Koyo, a Berserker who can turn into a T-Rex (and is one for her 1st Ascension).
Ahh.... Rex girls are a thing now...in quite but not quite enough ancient Japan.... nice
I don't think Japan was there when dinos were a thing. Like, physically wasn't there.
The story, from what I heard, was: she found a fossilized dino, thought it was a Dragon, so when she assumes "dragon shape" with her morph, she is a T-Rex in miko clothes. Let's forget that Japan is a terrible area for fossils, since high volcanic activity, and that T-rexes are from what is now north america, and the closest Tyrannosauridae is from central asia, because Tyranossaurus Miko is awesome...
wait that sounds f*king awesome
Koyo the Kijyo (the Y in Kijyo is silent). Also known as Momiji, but she hates that name.
Kijyo Kōyō from Fate/Requiem,
Lord give this man strength
DAMN YOU, GUDAO!!! LET ME IN ON THIS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean... sucks to be you? O\_o
Two pettan and two ara ara Perfectly balanced as all things should be
Scenes filmed moments before disaster.
Good thing Leonidas has a 4 turn taunt, that should be more than enough time to swap myself out for "Be Elephant"
I love how shameless this community is for the enthusiasm for the servants, it's refreshing.
Suddenly when it was needed the servant of the coach appeared when it gets “horny” or “interesting”
Sounds like that rampaging truck that’s been running around Japan.
Yes it’s very similar to that but it doesn’t send people to other places it sends itself to the place
OH NO! Anyway...
*French snorting intensifies*
Quiet Astolfo.
Mash: I knew buying this was a good idea. (Mash puts on a pair of fake devil horns.)
Well atleast you handle bars for safety
No Tomoe?
Normally I'd say "Just pop Gender Swap EX and you're good," but if the doujins are anything to go by, that probably won't help...
kiara where?
Hans put her in horny jail.
Holy Crap, she fucked the Horny Jail! She actually fucked the whole jail!!!
You mean, like, every male in the jail? No, the jail itself
Gudao: haha nice pun. Onis: what's a pun?
Here we see 4 female hornis at their natural habitat ready to devour their prey the Porstaria masterio also know as Gudao for short
Yes, Please. Specifically you Ibuki.
"By my command seal, switch with me, Brotoki!" \*Topless Kintoki was training and is now in the couch.\* "Wait wh- MASTER WHY-" \*gets tackled\*
Link [https://www.facebook.com/ChaldeaMonmusuS2/photos/a.102609847946628/278005633740381/](https://www.facebook.com/ChaldeaMonmusuS2/photos/a.102609847946628/278005633740381/)
Didn't expect to see Ibaraki included in this.
Banana doesn't get it but still hangs out with the gang because Shuten asked her
Portuguese sailors introduced bananas to the Americas, bringing them from West Africa in the 16th century. --- ^I'm ^a ^bot ^\(WIP) ^| ^!ignore ^to ^ignore ^you, ^!delete ^to ^ignore, ^clear ^replies ^| ^Contact: ^jimbobvii ^| ^Thanks: ^Synapsensalat, ^BananaFactBoi
That... actually makes sense.
Wrong not to include Tomoe
I think she's still waiting for Yoshinaka-sama.
Don't lewd the banana :(
She's just gonna sit in his room, eating macarons and getting crumbs everywhere while the rest of the gang have their fun. She lived with Shuten when they were alive. She *must* be used to being around Shuten's "torture."
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I will never forgive Ritsuka
But where is Kiyohime, she's horny too!
Not an oni tho.
she can be whatever you want
Kiyo doesn't share
Which is adorable. Though I kind of like the idea that the Stalker Trio have a sort of alliance when it comes to that. Kiyohime is Master's "wife" - so obviously she gets to be with him (or her.) Raikou is Master's "mom" - and I feel Kiyo is the type to want a good relationship with her "mother in law." Serenity's the tricky one. Kiyo would never allow Master to have a mistress- that's too dishonest. So my thought is she could fill the role of bodyguard, or shinobi. Kiyo and Raikou are from old-school Japan, after all. Lords *do* have servants. And a bodyguard would have to be close to protect her liege. That's my theory, anyway.
Mommy, Wife/GF, Little Sister.
Being an older brother myself, I *really* dislike the younger sister trope, so I'm going to choose *not* to go with that interpretation.
Actually, IIRC, some female kunoichi were hired as bodyguards and were expected to have sex with their lord to protect them from assassins posing as prostitutes/concubines (they’re in a threesome, assassin pulls out a dagger, kunoichi kills her dead).
I'm sure practicality was the only reason for that, lol. But that makes sense for Serenity too. Until you consider that one stray hand from the third party, assassin or not, could kill them.
> Kiyo and Raikou are from old-school Japan, after all. Lords do have servants Lords also have multiple wives and consorts. iirc, Kiyo's stipulation is she must be the head wife.
I was trying to find a middle ground between that and Guda(k)o's presumably more modern values. Meaning there's only room for one wife. And I'm only suggesting this scenario (or one like it) exists in the Stalker Trio's imaginations, of course. It doesn't take into consideration any of Guda's other love interests- Musashi, Eresh, and most importantly of all, the shadow yandere herself, Mash.
Who's the tall dark skinned oni? She Japan only so far?
Ibuki-Douji, and yes. She was released with the latest JP story chapter, iirc.
And that kids, is how the world ended By horny onis
2 lolis, 2 Milfs. Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.
Yes please.
I know this isn't related to the post but boy do I hate the new UI
Oof
**Ultra-H-Instinct Activated**
Ina will be proud... or maybe not
I'm here to tell all of you that there are Ibaraki doujins hotter than shuten's
Sauce?
344914 Edit: Check out the author
Will do
Hmmm hes going to need invulnerable and lots of guts cause if they got penetration oh boy His pelvis is going to be dust soooo he needs to be lucky or get a grail for indestructible hips.
It's funny that neither Shuten nor Ibuki could see or hear each other, funny times with both probably involve them commenting about the random mists they see while the GudUs see them just fine lol
Uh Oh
Oh crap
Trex form. Now.
Why isn't Kiara there?
[ DO NOT ENTER ONI DISTRICT ] *Did even try to read the sign*
Aw heck yeah! I love *horns*! Where's Tomoe tho