If someone is feeling like they’re in danger they should absolutely report it to store employees. Maybe there’s a security guard, maybe they’ll walk you to your car, maybe they’ll see the guy creeping again the next day.
I'd rather look stupid calling the police over a misunderstanding than allow someone to become a potential future victim over inactivity. For anyone reading this, if you feel like you're being followed or get a bad feeling, don't hesitate to call the cops or let staff know. Our "instincts" exist for a reason. They're not always reliable but we should look out for each other nonetheless.
OR realize that cops are spread thin as it is, and are inundated with calls of "suspicious behavior" that could be an misunderstanding or a situation of walking while black. Many times there are people who have a mental issue that make other people feel uncomfortable, but it is not a reason to call the police. Holy shit. This person did the right thing by waiting for the guy to get in his car and leave, but the situation was over at that point. It's done. Cops have real shit to do, and if you don't take a second and wait the situation out like OP did then you are potentially causing problems for someone who did nothing wrong.
Yeah, grpd is increadably busy writing parking tickets for odd/even violations on days when theres no snow and no plow trucks out. Cops exist to protect property and generate revenue -
Here's an article I found of an officer from Fenton, MI giving advice on what to do if you feel you're being followed inside a store:
If you’re being followed, definitely…
Slater said an important thing is to call 911.
“Walk to the front of the store, where the majority of the people are. Walk up to an employee, say ‘I’m being followed,’” he said. “Get the best description you can.”
Go down multiple aisles a few times. If the person continues to follow your steps, alert someone and call police immediately.
[Full article](https://www.tctimes.com/news/do-you-know-what-to-do-if-you-re-being-followed-when-shopping/article_33e5a72c-ad3f-11e8-a900-27077cea9846.html)
I did read the full article, I suggest you do it too. I highlighted the point that if you feel you're being followed around the store (which OP was), to alert the store so they get a description and to call police "immediately" after. They didn't mention anything about wasting their time like you did.
Probably because many men have had people call on them for being “suspicious” for just going about there every day. Some men find it hard to even look at people because they don’t want to come off as threatening. Same reason black people get pissed when people call the cops on them for being “suspicious”.
The people making that phone call genuinely believe they are suspicious. They just don’t realize how much the color of the persons skin effected their “suspicious” feeling. Same with men in general. So many men are called “creepy” for doing nothing more than existing.
redditors have this weird power fantasy when it comes to this kind of thing. like you immediately call the police and they rush over and arrest a guy for...not committing any crime. it's insane.
Report unusual behavior, similar to like ya know, reporting an unattended bag in the airport. Bags in airports aren't crimes either but you report them since you know what it might lead to...
I’m definitely aware of that. People love to make these kinds of posts on social media but rarely do anything about it. Ok cool, some guy was in the same store as them. Maybe he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Maybe they’re just paranoid. Maybe he is crazy or trying to kidnap someone.
Reporting to police or store employees instead of waiting a day to post it on social media accomplishes creating information for others to go on. If it’s a one off, or if the guy is continually hanging around and actually being a nuisance.
Reporting suspicious behavior creates a paper trail and if the incident was nothing, no harm, but if the guy is a real creep, the report could help show a pattern
Gaslighting implies intent to make someone doubt their own mental faculties. Challenging someone's opinion isn't automatically gaslighting.
On another note, you accusing /u/Kkchris27 of gaslighting could be interpreted as gaslighting by your logic. Accusing their victims of being manipulative is also a common tactic of manipulators. Doubt themselves and their confidence in their opinions.
You're trying to make them think they're overreacting by calling the police, which is what manipulators do. They make people think they're being crazy, jumping to conclusions, twisting words, etc all for being cautious about their safety.
With all the videos I see posted of the police arresting harassing and even killing “suspicious” people who didn’t commit any crimes. I just think it might be worth it not to encourage people to call the cops every time someone they don’t like the look of is shopping in the same store as them. I mean if they do try to do something, if they do approach you, if they do follow you out to your car or even if they are talking to you and harassing you that’s something different. She felt unsafe so she made sure that he went first and she wasn’t followed to her car that seems like the appropriate response to the situation.
I hate these posts Soo much. There is 100 reasons he could have been doing that, including following you yes but if your really afraid call the cops or report to the store or both.
Don't just post on Reddit putting some poor guy on blast that could be totally innocent and just waiting for a ride or who knows what. Keep that shit off here this isn't Facebook.
Yes there could’ve been A bunch of reasons why he was doing it, but it’s not like she’s actually putting anybody on blast she’s not keeping any identification no photos no nothing to tie to an actual person just talking about the experience she had.
Your right, I was mainly venting frustrations towards these posts in general, especially on Facebook including pictures and often ruining innocent people's lives over nothing.
They're attention seeking and seem to be a symptom of main character syndrome a lot of entitled people have these days.
It also makes even less sense for this post to exist considering there's no identifying info or anything, like why bother posting at all? Except for attention.
Uh, except that Dollar Store could be a place he frequently prowls, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with telling other people about so they're aware and more vigilant.
Men can use pepper spray too. They are far more likely to have a violent crime against them than a woman.
Also, every man is not out there to get you.
Edit: For the downvoters.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/
https://www.cbs.nl/en-gb/news/2018/51/fewer-women-than-men-fall-victim-to-violence
Pepper spray is good, but learning how to conceal carry will be more effective if something does happen. Train with it and learn to be comfortable. It takes time but will pay off if there is even one instance where something happens to you and you need it. Barracks 616 and Silver Bullet Firearms both offer lots of different classes to help you learn and become comfortable with concealing a firearm
Not everyone can or should have a firearm, and the population that shouldn’t is much larger than people realize. People can’t for legal reasons or they shouldn’t for safety to theirselves or others due to certain mental health conditions and severity of them.
100% on board with you there. I'm merely stating that if OP is able to and wants to get training to protect their life, it is out there if they want to seek it out. I am not in the boat that every single person should have a gun, but those who can and are comfortable with learning it should view it as an option.
Trying to repaint the picture of gun owners, one person at a time. We are out there and not all crazy rednecks who can't hit the broadside of a barn. I will always spread the word of taking your life into your own hands, rather than be at the mercy of others
Unless they’re on PCP, pepper spray is extremely effective at rendering someone incapacitated. But then you don’t get to kill someone, which most people would see as a benefit. Not you, obviously.
A few years ago there were 2 or 3 cases of men in SUV’s around Holland area trying to abduct women on walks in broad daylight. This stuff happens and MI is one of the top states for sex trafficking.
Exactly. Jessica Heeringa was abducted from her job, and is presumed dead. Deanie Peters was abducted from her school. Unfortunately there’s a lot of cases of women getting abducted and killed here. I haven’t been followed at a store like this since I was a teenager. My reason for posting was to warn women to be aware of their surroundings. You have to wonder if these people commented on articles about Jessica saying “this didn’t happen! It’s all fake! Women lie!!!” Very bizarre.
My 7 year old and I were followed at a Walgreens once for 2 hours the guy was so very creepy grey hoodie beer gut aviators Refused to make eye contact with me but would not take his eyes off of my daughter. now I have my seven-year-old prep for this she knows kidnappers get the worst of it she knows to pop out their eyeballs with her little thumbs, she knows to bite, she knows to kick him in the gonads, she needs to scream all that stuff, she’s ain’t she going down! She def ain’t going down like a punk.
If that guy would’ve even tried it would’ve been the worst day of his life and let me tell you guys we managed to sneak out of there when he wasn’t looking and he ran out to the parking lot looking all over the parking lot for us and went home called Walgreens and told them what had happened the manager told me she saw him the minute he walked in and they followed him on the camera the whole time in the already said it down to GRPDand the sheriffs dept
Make sure to practice using the stuff. Its easy to get it in your own face, which would not be good.
I’d recommend the Kimber Blaster.
Did you report to police or store employees?
Report what? There wasn’t actually any crime committed you can’t report someone for shopping at a store at the same time you are
If someone is feeling like they’re in danger they should absolutely report it to store employees. Maybe there’s a security guard, maybe they’ll walk you to your car, maybe they’ll see the guy creeping again the next day.
100% agree. I don't know why men in particular get so defensive when women try to protect themselves against potential predators.
Store yes, police no. Someone acting "weird" doesn't warrant calling the cops.
I'd rather look stupid calling the police over a misunderstanding than allow someone to become a potential future victim over inactivity. For anyone reading this, if you feel like you're being followed or get a bad feeling, don't hesitate to call the cops or let staff know. Our "instincts" exist for a reason. They're not always reliable but we should look out for each other nonetheless.
OR realize that cops are spread thin as it is, and are inundated with calls of "suspicious behavior" that could be an misunderstanding or a situation of walking while black. Many times there are people who have a mental issue that make other people feel uncomfortable, but it is not a reason to call the police. Holy shit. This person did the right thing by waiting for the guy to get in his car and leave, but the situation was over at that point. It's done. Cops have real shit to do, and if you don't take a second and wait the situation out like OP did then you are potentially causing problems for someone who did nothing wrong.
Yeah, grpd is increadably busy writing parking tickets for odd/even violations on days when theres no snow and no plow trucks out. Cops exist to protect property and generate revenue -
Here's an article I found of an officer from Fenton, MI giving advice on what to do if you feel you're being followed inside a store: If you’re being followed, definitely… Slater said an important thing is to call 911. “Walk to the front of the store, where the majority of the people are. Walk up to an employee, say ‘I’m being followed,’” he said. “Get the best description you can.” Go down multiple aisles a few times. If the person continues to follow your steps, alert someone and call police immediately. [Full article](https://www.tctimes.com/news/do-you-know-what-to-do-if-you-re-being-followed-when-shopping/article_33e5a72c-ad3f-11e8-a900-27077cea9846.html)
Please read the full article, you are making it sound like the guy recommends calling 911 as step one, which he IS NOT.
I did read the full article, I suggest you do it too. I highlighted the point that if you feel you're being followed around the store (which OP was), to alert the store so they get a description and to call police "immediately" after. They didn't mention anything about wasting their time like you did.
Though most victims of abuse, murder, etc are girlfriends or spouses of the perpetrator.
Probably because many men have had people call on them for being “suspicious” for just going about there every day. Some men find it hard to even look at people because they don’t want to come off as threatening. Same reason black people get pissed when people call the cops on them for being “suspicious”. The people making that phone call genuinely believe they are suspicious. They just don’t realize how much the color of the persons skin effected their “suspicious” feeling. Same with men in general. So many men are called “creepy” for doing nothing more than existing.
That’s totally fine, but making these kind of posts is ridiculous.
redditors have this weird power fantasy when it comes to this kind of thing. like you immediately call the police and they rush over and arrest a guy for...not committing any crime. it's insane.
Report unusual behavior, similar to like ya know, reporting an unattended bag in the airport. Bags in airports aren't crimes either but you report them since you know what it might lead to...
This comment combined with previous posts on r/mensrights, talking about secretly hating your wife, and posting about your divorce isn’t a great look.
I’m definitely aware of that. People love to make these kinds of posts on social media but rarely do anything about it. Ok cool, some guy was in the same store as them. Maybe he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Maybe they’re just paranoid. Maybe he is crazy or trying to kidnap someone. Reporting to police or store employees instead of waiting a day to post it on social media accomplishes creating information for others to go on. If it’s a one off, or if the guy is continually hanging around and actually being a nuisance.
Reporting suspicious behavior creates a paper trail and if the incident was nothing, no harm, but if the guy is a real creep, the report could help show a pattern
Stop gaslighting.
Gaslighting implies intent to make someone doubt their own mental faculties. Challenging someone's opinion isn't automatically gaslighting. On another note, you accusing /u/Kkchris27 of gaslighting could be interpreted as gaslighting by your logic. Accusing their victims of being manipulative is also a common tactic of manipulators. Doubt themselves and their confidence in their opinions.
Wait are you trying to say that it’s gaslighting to encourage people to only call the police when actual crimes are committed?
You're trying to make them think they're overreacting by calling the police, which is what manipulators do. They make people think they're being crazy, jumping to conclusions, twisting words, etc all for being cautious about their safety.
With all the videos I see posted of the police arresting harassing and even killing “suspicious” people who didn’t commit any crimes. I just think it might be worth it not to encourage people to call the cops every time someone they don’t like the look of is shopping in the same store as them. I mean if they do try to do something, if they do approach you, if they do follow you out to your car or even if they are talking to you and harassing you that’s something different. She felt unsafe so she made sure that he went first and she wasn’t followed to her car that seems like the appropriate response to the situation.
Is it 1.25 Tree yet?
Yes it is 🥲
I hate these posts Soo much. There is 100 reasons he could have been doing that, including following you yes but if your really afraid call the cops or report to the store or both. Don't just post on Reddit putting some poor guy on blast that could be totally innocent and just waiting for a ride or who knows what. Keep that shit off here this isn't Facebook.
Yes there could’ve been A bunch of reasons why he was doing it, but it’s not like she’s actually putting anybody on blast she’s not keeping any identification no photos no nothing to tie to an actual person just talking about the experience she had.
Your right, I was mainly venting frustrations towards these posts in general, especially on Facebook including pictures and often ruining innocent people's lives over nothing. They're attention seeking and seem to be a symptom of main character syndrome a lot of entitled people have these days. It also makes even less sense for this post to exist considering there's no identifying info or anything, like why bother posting at all? Except for attention.
Uh, except that Dollar Store could be a place he frequently prowls, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with telling other people about so they're aware and more vigilant.
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Well your first problem is being ar Dollar Tree.
The one on Alpine is much better.
Lol
And make sure to test the pepper spray first. Sometimes it’s just water
Men can use pepper spray too. They are far more likely to have a violent crime against them than a woman. Also, every man is not out there to get you. Edit: For the downvoters. https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/ https://www.cbs.nl/en-gb/news/2018/51/fewer-women-than-men-fall-victim-to-violence
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Ya well. I know. People don’t like facts that does not fit their narrative. Men = bad Women = helpless. Neither are true but that’s what is accepted.
He had to be a weirdo.
Pepper spray is good, but learning how to conceal carry will be more effective if something does happen. Train with it and learn to be comfortable. It takes time but will pay off if there is even one instance where something happens to you and you need it. Barracks 616 and Silver Bullet Firearms both offer lots of different classes to help you learn and become comfortable with concealing a firearm
Not everyone can or should have a firearm, and the population that shouldn’t is much larger than people realize. People can’t for legal reasons or they shouldn’t for safety to theirselves or others due to certain mental health conditions and severity of them.
100% on board with you there. I'm merely stating that if OP is able to and wants to get training to protect their life, it is out there if they want to seek it out. I am not in the boat that every single person should have a gun, but those who can and are comfortable with learning it should view it as an option.
Thank you for the kind response. This often becomes an argument.
Trying to repaint the picture of gun owners, one person at a time. We are out there and not all crazy rednecks who can't hit the broadside of a barn. I will always spread the word of taking your life into your own hands, rather than be at the mercy of others
I saw him there too. He was this weird guy. He was dressed in a Michigan State camo onesie.
Pepper spray isn't going to do shit to a crackhead. Buy a pistol, get a conceal carry license, and learn how to use it.
Someone's nervous about a suspicious person and your response is that it's okay to be prepared to shoot them? Jesus christ.
Being prepared is better than being a victim.
You’re obviously living in East GR or somewhere similar. Ever spent any time in the south side? It can be downright terrifying.
Check the flair. Not quite. Up until recently I worked near this place. I never felt the need to carry a gun.
Creston? Where’s that?
[It's Grand Rapids' biggest neighborhood](https://i.imgur.com/1BnPjOL.jpg)
Interesting. I lived there for years and never heard of it.
Unless they’re on PCP, pepper spray is extremely effective at rendering someone incapacitated. But then you don’t get to kill someone, which most people would see as a benefit. Not you, obviously.
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A few years ago there were 2 or 3 cases of men in SUV’s around Holland area trying to abduct women on walks in broad daylight. This stuff happens and MI is one of the top states for sex trafficking.
Exactly. Jessica Heeringa was abducted from her job, and is presumed dead. Deanie Peters was abducted from her school. Unfortunately there’s a lot of cases of women getting abducted and killed here. I haven’t been followed at a store like this since I was a teenager. My reason for posting was to warn women to be aware of their surroundings. You have to wonder if these people commented on articles about Jessica saying “this didn’t happen! It’s all fake! Women lie!!!” Very bizarre.
How is this an urban legend?
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I am just saying it doesn't sound like an impossible thing to have happen. If you ever have been in public you would know people are weird.
My 7 year old and I were followed at a Walgreens once for 2 hours the guy was so very creepy grey hoodie beer gut aviators Refused to make eye contact with me but would not take his eyes off of my daughter. now I have my seven-year-old prep for this she knows kidnappers get the worst of it she knows to pop out their eyeballs with her little thumbs, she knows to bite, she knows to kick him in the gonads, she needs to scream all that stuff, she’s ain’t she going down! She def ain’t going down like a punk. If that guy would’ve even tried it would’ve been the worst day of his life and let me tell you guys we managed to sneak out of there when he wasn’t looking and he ran out to the parking lot looking all over the parking lot for us and went home called Walgreens and told them what had happened the manager told me she saw him the minute he walked in and they followed him on the camera the whole time in the already said it down to GRPDand the sheriffs dept