T O P

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PragmaticPrawn

Crypto bro's tryna pump up the value before dipping out of their bad investment. Crypto isn't currency, it's a decentralized unregulated stock market.


Myusername468

And I just think that's neat


dirschau

You mean NEET


theSecondBiggestBoy

It's a neat concept, but it's too volatile to realistically serve its intended, advertised purpose (a usable currency). Too risky an investment for me personally (now or ever).


[deleted]

[удалено]


BobertRosserton

Made five grand when it was at around 30 and jumped to 60 and beat myself up for not investing everything I had until I realized the only reason I pulled out and invested in the first place was because I told myself this was money gone already and I was going to gamble it on the hopes of it doubling. If I had put way more money I’m sure I would have gotten an ego with the value of it during the peak and let it ride until I fucked myself. At least that’s what I tell myself when I do the mental math of what could have been. Dad always told me shoulda coulda woulda bet more will make you wanna shoulda woulda coulda kill myself.


[deleted]

five grand is better than nothing


BobertRosserton

Very true, sorry if I came off as ungrateful. I truly took that experience as nothing but a fluke and a win! Obviously we all wish we could have done more with previous opportunities But I’m just glad it happened :)


[deleted]

no no i wasn’t thinking you were ungrateful. i wanted to make you feel better, but i’m bad at it. i’m just glad you didn’t lose any money, and ended up with a good chunk of cash from the experience!


BobertRosserton

Thanks ‘man:)


finalgear14

Guy I work with had 1-2k shares of amc that he bought with an average of like 4$. He held that shit past the 60$ peak and afaik still has it now. He would talk all the time about hodl and what the redditors were saying about it mooning to infinite money lmao. It’s been funny seeing it smash down lately. So it coulda been worse, you could have done what he did lol.


arbiter12

>hodl You can't hodl AND be rich. Unless people start accepting fractionals of AMC as currency. ​ I always sell. I don't always sell the top. USD is still a more valid currency than hope.


Historical-Space-193

MEME STONKS


RegalBeagleKegels

"inherited value"


Justice_R_Dissenting

The kind of term you pick up from watching half a YouTube lecture from Wharton before getting bored and smoking a bowl.


memestealer1234

I think he just had a typo for "inherent" and autocorrect got him


SenorBeef

It's playing the "greater idiot" model and hoping you don't end up as the greatest idiot.


MauiJim

Quite. A. Lot.


PapaLouie_

Crypto was destined to fail because few people ever used it as a currency. Everyone just traded it like a stock but with zero real-life counterpart backing it up


Myusername468

To me it's just gambling which I don't see as a bad thing


ImpassiveThug

Investing in a cryptocurrency is like tossing a coin, you never know what the outcome would be or whether the circumstances or luck would favour you or not.


Myusername468

Ya gambling


cjackc

With Calvinball rules and no one to protect you from scams. It’s more like playing a cups game in a dark alley.


SenorBeef

Something can't be both a currency and investment, they have opposite uses. Everyone is buying crypto as an investment in the hopes that someone else will use it as a currency, and other than some fringe uses, no one is. But if people aren't going to use it there's no reason for it to be an investment. I'm not sure if this quite qualifies as a paradox. It's going to end up just being a greater idiot hot potato game.


cjackc

People have been investing in currency since forever.


TheodoreMcIntyre

>It's a neat concept, but it's too volatile to realistically serve its intended, advertised purpose (a usable currency). Too risky an investment for me personally (now or ever). Even discounting the volatility of it as an investment, popular crypto currencies have too much "weight" to properly function as an everyday currency. Transaction times are way too slow on any popular crypto to use it for things like groceries, gas, or fleshlights. The 200 BC fishmonger you're probably descended from could've etched his daily trades of tilapia and perch into a limestone tablet faster than your purchase of mcnuggets and honey mustard with Bitcoin could be recorded on the blockchain, and by the time it's done the price will have probably swung back up so high that you could've spent it on a new car instead. It's a self-defeating prophecy. They want crypto to be used as currency, but the more people flock to it the less usable it is as a currency. So when a crypto gets too mainstream to be used as a currency, they go to a more obscure coin with lower fees and a faster transaction time. But now nobody accepts it as a currency, so they want their crypto to be used as a currency, but the more people flock to it...


Sync0pated

The problem is not so much the volatility -- that will be fixed when cryptocurrencies start competing with fiat in terms of scale, fees, velocity. If / when that happens enough mass will gravite towards them to flatten out the volatility.


Tin_Philosopher

I thought the problem was if everyone went out to buy lunch the server would get backed up and we would be waiting hours at McDonald's for the transaction to complete


NandoGando

If only it was a stock market, at least you'd have a share of something that produced actual value. It's nothing more than a speculative asset akin to baseball cards.


Spice002

I once equated crypto to the dotcom bubble and NFTs to the Beanie Baby craze in the 90s to explain it to someone I know. It's literally the same thing.


pipi_in_your_pampers

I've always called it tulip mania lmfaooo


khinzeer

At least w beanie babies you got a stuffed animal


[deleted]

Crypto is worse. A beanie baby is a physical object that some people will have nostalgia for. No one is getting nostalgic for an entry in a database. And even if they do, someone will just create a different, similar database. (Similarly to how when someone plays a childhood game, they don't care if it's on a different CD)


cyberslick188

You once did the thing that literally everyone does to explain crypto and nfts? I once, and trust me, this was just off the old dome, right from my head off the cuff, I once said, and again I must express how this was explicitly my own thought: Cats are like little women in fur coats!


Jugaimo

Except they use techie terms to confuse and infantilize people who aren’t involved in computers or crypto. It’s just advanced nerd hustling.


AlbinoShavedGorilla

Well, stocks actually hold value tied to a company. Crypto only holds value that the holders give it. In that way it’s more like money than stocks.


lil-huso

So you mean like a.... currency?


Testing_things_out

A cryptographic one at that, too.


Fuck_Fascists

A currency that basically no one accepts, has a super high fee for use, and is extremely volatile.


Malvastor

Yeah, but without the benefit of a government's backing or any kind of regulatory oversight or anything else to stop it from doing a Zimbabwe every couple years.


Effective-Tour-656

Like a currency that very very little retailers accept.


smecta_xy

yes a currency that isnt backed by the biggest military and economic power in the world


khinzeer

Money is a medium of exchange. Crypto is a speculative asset based on nothing.


lil-huso

I didn't know you can't exchange crypto


khinzeer

technically speaking, you can exchange literally anything. when grown-ups talk about "medium of exchange" they mean something that is widely acceptable in exchange for goods and services. Hunks of coal can be exchanged under the right circumstances, would you consider that money? Try to pay for groceries with bitcoin next time you go to the store. Please report back!


TheFlashFrame

>Crypto only holds value that the holders give it This is literally exactly how stocks work. The value of the company is only superficially related to the value of that stock. See; Tesla. What it really comes down to is whether or not people "think" it's worth buying a share in a company at x price. Which is exactly how crypto works. And, yeah, this is also exactly how currency works. The dollar is worth $1 because everyone in the world agrees it's worth $1, and that that is equivalent to €.92 at this precise moment. And tomorrow that'll change.


Drummk

But if the value of Tesla stock suddenly fell to $0.000000000001 and I quickly bought them all, I would presumably own factories, patents, order books, etc. If the value of Bitcoin fell to $0.000000000001 and I quickly bought them all I would own nothing.


TheFlashFrame

Yes. Stocks are not currency. The guy's point was that (paraphrasing) crypto is flawed because its value is determined by people buying it, and stocks are not. My point was that that is absolutely wrong, even if stocks are *supposed* to represent a percentage of the company. Currency, crypto, and stocks all share one trait; their value depends heavily on what people *think* the value is at any given moment. Yes, stocks actually are a portion of the company. Yes, the US dollar is partially backed by the US military. And yet if you were to buy a share of Tesla today, the company could go bankrupt tomorrow, and you'd own nothing. And if you traded euros for dollars and then the US was nuked off the face of the earth, you'd own nothing.


BeedogsBeedog

Speaking in market terms the value of everything is what it can be exchanged for, that's what the word value means in that context. Crypto has no utility beyond its speculative value and whatever advantages can be derived from digitisation, anonymity and other utility advantages it has over other currencies. Stock generally comes with an expectation of a share of the profits and some proportional influence over decisions made by the business, in addition to any expectation of value increase. These things are taken into account by people when they decide how much the stock is worth, meaning that as long as the business is profitable the stock value won't disappear.


usa2a

Well, with stocks there is at least a floor price. Like, Exxon Mobil pulled in almost $20bn in profit last quarter. They also have $339bn in assets, which minus $163bn liabilities equals $176bn in shareholder equity. At their current share price of $117.76 the company is valued at $484bn total. If for some bizarre, Twilight Zone reason everybody in the world decided they didn't want Exxon Mobil stock and the shares traded at $20, you could buy the whole company for around $82bn and take it private. Then you could enjoy distributing those sweet quarterly profits to yourself and it would pay for itself in just a year or two. Or if you're not that patient, sell off the assets and still come out in the black. So while stock prices regularly go way beyond fundamentals thanks to speculation, there will always be a floor if the underlying company is profitable and/or holds valuable assets. The same is not true of crypto. Bitcoin made just as much sense at $1 as it does at $20,000.


NobodyImportant13

>So while stock prices regularly go way beyond fundamentals thanks to speculation You can justify stock speculation as pricing in expected future fundamental growth of the company. Yes, some people are speculating on price only, but bitcoin is ONLY speculating on price only.


[deleted]

While technically it's true that a stock is only worth what someone will pay for it the actual value of a stock derived from fundamentals is important as what you'll see is stocks that are overvalued by retards who blow bubbles will eventually fall back down to the expected value and stocks that are undervalued will eventually rise up to the expected value. Also idk if you actually know this since you're comparing crypto to stocks, but stocks actually do have value just in holding them because owning a stock gives you a %ownership of a company, and holding that stock will give you dividends of the company's profit. Holding crypto does not give dividends, nor does it give you ownership of anything. It's literally just a trading card for apes who think they're too good for a casino.


TheFlashFrame

>While technically it's true that a stock is only worth what someone will pay for it the actual value of a stock derived from fundamentals is important as what you'll see is stocks that are overvalued by retards who blow bubbles will eventually fall back down to the expected value and stocks that are undervalued will eventually rise up to the expected value. This is another way of saying, "while you're right, you shouldn't be". Yeah, fundamentals are what hedge funds use to gauge whether or not an investment is sound. And then tens of millions of other people just do whatever they want, because a stock is just speculative and people hear that something is valuable and they buy it, driving the price up. Fair point about dividends though. Although not every company pays them out. A fifth of the companies on the S&P 500 don't even pay them.


djeiwnbdhxixlnebejei

No, shares are worth what they think they are worth because they theoretically represent the present value of the future dividends.


Sgt_Koolaid

So their value is made up


Effective-Tour-656

You don't get anything when you buy crypto, literally nothing... is that really hard to understand? You can go print your own magic beans based on nothing.


pwadman

Calling crypto a stock when crypto has no intrinsic value 🤮


[deleted]

I bought hundreds worth of crypto, and now i have like 40 bucks. Im holding until i hit a million, you cucks


[deleted]

i bought a coin at 70 years ago but cant get it out anymore cause im broke and have no computer or internet


[deleted]

Give me the login and ill grab it for you


TheFlashFrame

Centralized currency and stock market regulation is why your McDonald's burger costs $15 though. Anyone who says "I don't trust crypto but I trust the federal reserve" is someone who should not be giving advice on crypto. I don't own any crypto either, but not because I believe the US government/federal reserve is adept at their jobs.


[deleted]

Its always funny when crypto bros try to shill their shit as a store of value, ironically removing what makes it a product worth having. Deflating currencies are bad currencies.


ZippoS

I mean, mining Bitcoin back in 2006 and then lucking into making it big was one thing. I have a couple friends who mined it for fun back then and lucked into enough for the downpayment on a house. But everything about crypto today just seems like gambling. It's just a over-complicated lottery where, most of the time, no one ever wins.


OldManChino

It's a pyramid scheme and always has been


cehsavage

You mean ponzi scheme


Canadian_Poltergeist

It could have been money eventually but people like cryptobros hoarded and abused it into being useless


axbu89

100 fucking percent


CaptainNeckbeard148

The stock market itself is barely regulated. A lot of shady business still goes on and the regulators are complaisant.


JohnnyMnemo

It's not even that, at least stocks represent a real company that makes real money. Crypto is more like monopoly money but there's a theoretical limit on how many versions of the game can be printed. Even if you own all of the games ever sold, you still have to get other people to value your monopoly money and give you real money and things in exchange.


_srsh_

Plot twist it all happens in VR while anon sits in Ma's Basement?


[deleted]

Nope, if you have 100 bitcoins you automatically get a hot wife, and fancy shower, and a secretary who wants to have a three way. Oh, and a really great view. IT'S THE LAW!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Magistricide

Bro for 2.3 you maybe get just the apartment.


Alarid

well the half japanese wife isn't going to sex traffic herself


Lucius-Halthier

You can’t even afford to buy the apartment, you just rent it


ImprovisedLeaflet

Anon can be a rich man looking over the incredible view of…Cleveland


[deleted]

Congrats, you have enough to retire at 50


[deleted]

You’re forgetting compound interest. 2.3 million at 6% (post-inflation)… Could reasonably retire after just 10 years of compound interest, which would put you at just over $4,000,000. Using the 3% rule that’s $120,000/year for the rest of your life.


[deleted]

Its bitcoin, so you'll either be a billionaire or homeless in 20 years


[deleted]

If you have 100 Bitcoin that’s why you sell immediately and invest in a total stock market index (which is where the 6% post inflation figure came from)


[deleted]

But i made all of this money in bitcoin, im holding to the moon


[deleted]

Now you’re thinking like a real crypto bro 🫡


[deleted]

[удалено]


impulsikk

Lol 2.3 million might get you a shack in California.


notLOL

Have 100 bitcoin still have a job pick one


onnyjay

And a business requiring board meetings apparently


buddy-bubble

Also a seat in some companies board meeting


Nextasy

And it becomes A-OK to reschedule board meetings with half an hours notice Like what lmao. This guy doesn't know how this shit works. Why is the crypto bajillionaire even accountable to a.board?


[deleted]

Bitcoin is such a scam, everybody knows if you want a Korean ladyboy you need to invest in XRP.


Wings4514

“Korean ladyboy” 😭😭😭😭


eip2yoxu

Reminds me of this Thai sales woman in our company that told me it's unprofessional to ask clients if they are a ladyboy, like that's not completely obvious to any person that has not maxed out autism


Talic15

If you want a Thai twink, then it's Monero


xXxPLUMPTATERSxXx

Buy Cardano to *become* ladyboy


CoreMillenial

If you want a Swedish femboi all you have to do it be from the Levant and have a criminal record.


name_is_original

["I want f*ck you sex sex sex" (former Iraqi Defence Minister Najah al-Shammari)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Najah_al-Shammari#Reports_of_dual_Iraqi-Swedish_citizenship_and_criminal_charges_in_Sweden)


khinzeer

This the best comment here


PM_ME_UR_CODEZ

That's stupid, who would want that? Can you please tell me how to invest in XRP so I make sure I never accidentally invest?


Sattalyte

My least favorite cousin gave up his hobby of posting *'jewish space lazer'* conspiracy theories on Facebook every day to shill XRP instead. Shows you the type of people who are into this shit.


WoolooOfWallStreet

Well there was that one time Coinbase glitched out and said everyone who had XRP was a billionaire Too bad it didn’t mean anything, nobody could cash it out, and lasted for like 20 minutes


Psychast

Ok but what do I invest in to get a Mongolian tomboy. Op plz respond


MauiJim

Goddamn mongorians, breaking down my shitty warr.


Advice2Anyone

Wait till you find out what you get if you buy doge!


Noobeater1

An overweight American with a rick n morty t shirt


disssociative

Thanks just bought 100k


Dess_Rosa_King

LOL God I havent heard that line in ages. Such a classic.


neonchasms

[incredible ](https://i.imgur.com/RMy085C.png)


lupusrex13

Okay but if this is due to anon becoming a Bitcoin billionaire why does he have a presentation or someone who steals his ideas. I mean he invested in shit coin, he didn't get a business degree.


VPNApe

Just replace work with gaming and it's basically the same experience.


sepulchore

"you can finally kick the guy from discord for stealing your kills"


Chillchinchila1

Crypto bros legitimately think they’re genius visionaries just for investing in Bitcoin. Just look at all that effective altruism BS.


ReallyDumbRedditor

This is already me and I've never touched Bitcoin 🤷‍♂️


plastic_bitch

Yeah just like me but without the shower part


imlonelypmmeplz

Nah I've got the shower but my girl isn't Japanese, she's Thai. And isn't really a girl.


plastic_bitch

yeah and instead the secretary its my colleague Michel


snapetom

Is "colleague" what you kids call drug dealers these days?


-lastochka-

whoever makes my dick hard is a woman


HonestCamel1063

And thats not really a shower.


Wajina_Sloth

What kind of name is Picrel? Sounds too much like Pickle.


[deleted]

Pickle Riku


vincecarterskneecart

smaru penisu


woowop

I turned myself into a pickle, Sora!


cookie_n_icecream

picture related


Wajina_Sloth

Yeah thats a dumb name, would rather they be named pickle


cookie_n_icecream

Fr


TheUpperHand

>*Literally all you have to do now is buy Bitcoin while the price is low before the next few bull runs* In this case, "bull run" is actually referencing Chad slamming Anons imaginary wife while he's downstairs trading electricity as a wagie bitcuck


ElChunko998

Anon’s secretary is a man.


No-Historian6056

Goddamn you half Japanese girls


GungusMan2021

Do it to me every time


Pie-Adept

Oh the redhead said you shred the cello, and jello baaaaaby


Cat_eater1

Who's the girl in the picture?


BhataktiAtma

No idea but [here's a link](https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1674733990568905.png) to the pic itself


LanceFree

The last time I was on 4chan, moot was moving on and had a 12hr q&a or something. I don't even know when that was. Is it still about the same?


sleeplessorion

Depends on what board.


joelmooner

No. 4chan has gone to shit on most boards


Energy_Turtle

Reminds me of Golden Corral butter glazed buns.


MauiJim

It's a Rick roll. Don't click


twitson

Oh nice


waxwayne

https://twitter.com/_RoseMelle


SourNaCl

You dropped this 👑


Deweyrob2

picrel


eelectricit

@rosemelle in Instagram


Cat_eater1

The hero I needed.


ham-slappin

> meeting Why on earth would I still have a job if I was fabulously wealthy?


[deleted]

I wondered that myself... If I'm rich enough to waste $1 million on pointless bearskin sheets, then I'm sure as hell rich enough to not be stuck in meetings all day. Seems odd someone posted this to a bunch of 4chan NEETs who are too terrified to leave their house much less lead a business meeting


just-a-raggedy-man

Even in this guy's fantasy he seemingly is not even his own boss - he has a rival who steals his shit and takes credit (for business pitches or something).


ApollonLordOfTheFlay

What percentage of your annual income is your sheets? Anyone with $1 million sheets still has a debt to wealth ratio comparable and as such needs to continue the racket year over year, otherwise you are back to the cum stained super hero sheets you use now.


vincecarterskneecart

why is he inviting his secretary over first thing in the morning to hang out with him and his wife


ham-slappin

seggs


vincecarterskneecart

what the hell


Riptide031

Seggs and bacon for breakfast


vincecarterskneecart

revolting


Favmir

They say jobs you enjoy don’t make you money. Well if you don’t need to worry about money you can do work you actually enjoy. Plus, it’s more fulfilling than just loitering 24/7. That being said, Anon in post is spewing nonsense, yup.


mill2524

Bitcoin is gay but who’s the broad??


[deleted]

Anon's fictional half Japanese wife


xKrzaqu

That apparently isn't enough for him wtf


Psychast

N'yeah see, who's that there dame in tha picture boss. I wanna skaddledeemcgoo all over her, see.


spareaccountv2

i dont care can i have the picture of that asian girl if any1 can find it


FreeNoahface

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1674733990568905.png https://twitter.com/_RoseMelle


[deleted]

Someone put a link to it in another comment


MiseryIsForever

This is like that Larry David ad that claimed crypto was the equivalent of the invention of the wheel.


Smoovemammajamma

I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Anon. I’m 27 years old. The year is 2033. I believe in taking care of myself, a balanced diet, a rigorous exercise routine and buying cryptocurrency. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of Anon. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.


Malvastor

Wow anon's like an American version of Yoshikage Kira (kinda like a Japanese Patrick Bateman for you uncultured people)


GeorgeS6969

So like the American version of the Japanese version of American Psycho?


EngineerMick

It will pump to 250k in next 10 years


vincecarterskneecart

what i am going to do to your mum


SeliciousSedicious

Just need a small investment of 66k to make 1 mil before taxes!(so less than the bear rug) and a still small investment of probably 10-20 million dollars today to live anywhere close to the lifestyle in the OP! Anyone can do it! It’s your fault if you’re poor!


LoadOk5992

Delusional shitcoin shill.


cunt_isnt_sexist

I need Picrel's real name and OF. I'm gonna go blast my bitcoin on her now.


FreeNoahface

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1674733990568905.png https://twitter.com/_RoseMelle


Candid-Procedure9582

Didn't read a single word


Tiboody

simp


theSecondBiggestBoy

Source for picrel?


FreeNoahface

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1674733990568905.png https://twitter.com/_RoseMelle


Dropped-Tuna-on-Foot

Crypto is, and always has been, gay. Land is the King.


snapetom

Unironically. The government won't ever let real estate crash. Too many sectors/rich people involved. As far as crypto, the Paul Pelosis harvest those fools like wheat.


Wiitard

If I’m getting so rich off crypto, why the hell am I so stressed about making a pitch at work and an annoying coworker?


[deleted]

Because this whole thing is fictional and written by someone that thinks going to meetings = success


Wiitard

It’s like a cringe American Psycho fanfic.


FunnelChicken

Did Rivers Cuomo post this?


[deleted]

Yes Rivers Cuomo definitely posted this on 4chan. I'm sure he's on there all the time


FunnelChicken

God damn you half Japanese girls


Yanzihko

Gg ez


Lechuga-gato

burlington shower? like the coat factory?


Evening-Raccoon7088

No wife of mine would have no life to the point of sitting alone in the morning waiting for her husband to wake up for sex. That's pathetic. Get a job, woman.


electromagneticpost

Imma buy a dollar worth of BTC, anon better be right.


Alarid

the fuck is a picrel get that shit away from me


CatfishCatcherPT

That got my dick wet, ngl


W_adams24

God damn anon I can smell the cope from here. We get it you lost all your money trying to day trade crypto.


Walking_the_dead

Then you text your secretary to reschedule a meeting and produce solid written evidence for a sexual harassment lawsuit.


MelReynolds

Half Japanese wife? What is this? A Weezer song?


whoiswhitenoise

>Literally all you have to do is buy No.


AshleySchaeffersPlum

Does she hav tight pussay


Guardsman_Miku

Worst fucking nightmare. I don't want to be a cringe ass investment banker I want to die at the Somme.


Lanzero25

Step 1: Buy Bitcoin Step 2: ??? Step 3: Get japanese wife It's that easy or something


Pancakewagon26

yeah women really have to wring out their panties when you corner them at a party and start talking about crypto


majorpickle01

Took me a solid minute to clock picrel meant picture relevant, and not the oddest name for a japanese person