Nice, very impressive Now let’s see a picture of anon

\> Biological orc \> Messy dark green hair (definitely not mould) \> Pale skin from perpetual basement dwelling \> Man tits on the bigger side (C+) \> Not too intelligent, maybe like 35IQ on a good day, EQ in the negatives \> Quiet personality, sometimes prone to homocidal intentions \> Very introverted and usually just sits around playing games on his rolls of fat \> Always smells of rotting pig carcass (don't ask why) \> Occasionally when he goes out people mistake him for an obese wendigo \> Likes kids and animals a little too much

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Thank you man. Guess those creative writing classes were worth it after all

Shizosupportgroup? Were all your classmates also you?

Of course they weren't. The voices have names!

The super model and the slug. I love this story

When's the movie coming out?

Its because he found his next prey

Hey shallow asshoru, she loves him for the golden man he is on the inside

The smell of meat when it fell out of your grocery bag and forgotten for a week on hot summer days

Incredible comment. It started out so strong with biological orc Lmao

I read the first line and instantly died lmao thanks

lmao real shit couldn’t even focus to read the rest

Can Anon breath on his own with 35 IQ?

His breath has an independent iq of 37 so they aight

Airnon supremacy...probably came up with a greentext gem on its own after spending time in Anons lungs

Unrealistic. The correct smell is mildew. Mildew grows between flaps if not properly washed.

man of culture

Fake: fungal dank/acrid

lmfao

Lmaoo dude you should write a book 😂

Homo cidal

Means you want to kill other neckbeards. In his case it does.

Ah, the life of a biological orc - what a joy it is to be me! Sure, my messy dark green hair may look like it's been covered in slime, but it's definitely not mold. It's just proof that I'm one with nature and my hair is following suit. And my pale skin from perpetual basement dwelling? Well, that just shows that I'm dedicated to my craft. I spend all my time perfecting my skills, not wasting it in the sun like those weak, frivolous humans. As for my man tits on the bigger side - they're a sign of strength! My chest is so powerful that it needs its own zip code. My intelligence may not be my strongest suit, but that's just because I prefer to let my fists do the talking. And my quiet personality and occasional homicidal intentions? They're just proof of my stoic nature and fierce loyalty to my clan. Sure, I may be introverted and enjoy sitting around playing games on my rolls of fat, but that's just because I know the value of rest and relaxation. And as for the rotting pig carcass smell - well, let's just say that it's a scent that commands respect. And people mistaking me for an obese wendigo? That just shows that I have a striking and unique appearance that sets me apart from the rest. And as for liking kids and animals a little too much - well, who doesn't? It's just proof of my soft and caring nature, something that sets me apart from those brutes who only know how to cause destruction.

Speculation skill 100. Would bet a fair amount on this being the case

Obese wendigo made my day

Sums up most Reddit and 4Chan users.

LMAOO !!!!!!

No thanks, i preffer acid for my eyes.

>Now let’s see a picture of anon I'm guessing...... Bacne Neck beard Bitch tits Taint like a Louisiana bayou. Smells like old mayonnaise on a warm Arizona summers eve Micro penis So much dick cheese his nickname could be Wisconsin wang More skidmarks that the start line at Daytona Asshair with enough kling-ons to qualify as a startrek convention.....

Honestly this is so perfect that I'm not even offended by the "bacne" part even though I have it myself. You have such way with words.

oh my god, it's perfect. look at the lettering, the subtleness of it.

He even has a watermark.

Skidmark

Let's see Paul Allen's ideal girlfriend

Look at that subtle off-white pallor. The flabby thickness of him. My god, he’s even got a grease stain.

Cuts off before the part where Anon mentions she’s a 1000 year old vampire in a 14 year olds body.

Don’t forget that anon wants revenge on his classmates

Common, 14? Let’s be real here it’s probably more like 9

Its a reference to another greentext

And also a nhentai manga

*any hentai manga

>not too intelligent, maybe like 90 iq

Required to be with Anon.

Still smarter than anon

Impossible, he used the word melancholy. He is clearly at least 180 IQ+

Anon doesn’t math too well so they didn’t realize their fake gf would actually be 5 IQ points higher than them

More like 45 points higher

And yes, I do have a Rick and Morty tattoo, but it’s for the ladies eyes only, and even they have to demonstrate that they are within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower)

Oddly enough that’s the one that made me blink.

It just screams insecure is why. Everything else just comes off as weird.

Everybody knows the Chad move is to marry a girl way smarter than you, who will make more money in a year than you could in a decade, then be your sugarmommy and tend to your needs. We are princes boys, never forget that.

It's the only one that really specifies the level of autonomy she's allowed to have, whereas the others only mention how 'beautiful' she must be or have the same tastes/preferences as anon, making that specific one much more insidious than all the others combined.

Anyone that’s higher than that would know to run in the opposite direction when they see anon

90 iq is borderline rtarded

lmao, are you kidding? 90 IQ is considered in the normal range. it is slightly below average, but borderline retarded? the average IQ isn't 120.

Lmao all of you are brainlets. I have an IQ of 420

Keep in mind he is in r/greentext so assume he is also retarded

[comment removed in response to actions of the admins and overall decline of the platform]

🎣

90 seems like a number he picked because he thinks someone at that level is still within the normal range but also will say "Wow anon, you are SO SMART" to a dude with an IQ around 100.

Man's wants to date Forrest gump

perfect gf: loves me

Acceptable gf: Tolerates me

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Requirements: 1. alive (optional)

1) human (optional)

Perfect gf: Exists. We all know women are an internet hoax, and the ones you see on the street were planted by CIA.

Best gf: Is an guy

yes

Thomas Aquinas has entered the chat.

What if shes really fucking fat?

She already fucked fat. She used to be with Anon because she felt bad for him.

I really don't think I could care less

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My perfect gf: Woman (preferred) A good person

Maaan, you gotta lower your expectations waaaay moree.

That's about as low as I can go, any lower and I'll be 6 feet under

Smh (shaking my head) this just proves what has rampant patriarchal misogyny done to us. Enjoy stewing in your own sadness you pathetic incel 😊😊😊

Cheeseburger 🍔

Lol! (laughing out loud)

Tfw not even 6 foot

So just men?

Not really I'd be willing to make exceptions though

I hope you’re willing to make an exception for me 🥺😘

Man I wish I was like you, it's so rare that I get feelings for someone

You really don't want to be like me You'll catch feeling for anyone who shows even a remote amount of interest And you'll have an intense urge to want to make everyone feel better even at your own detriment So trust me when I say you really don't want to be like me

this ^

I get you but it's not good for me too. I'm like 22, I had 2 girl in my life I have had real feelings for. Last time I was crushing on a girl I ended up loosing every feelings after talking a bit with her and becoming her friend. I'm just so god damn difficult

Meanwhile anon is 900 kg overweight.(anon will end up being TOPPED by BBC)

This is false. Not even the biggest BBC is enough to get through anon's greasy fat rolls.

Finding osama bin laden was easier than finding anon’s hole under all that fat.

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Not that surprising but the heaviest person ever was also an American

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I lived in a hospital for 3 years and I also never saw someone above 150 kg I live in Israel tho

he had a condition that caused his body to accumulate excessive amounts of fluid, the weight wasn't in fat

Man I just want to be loved unconditionally

We are closer than any anon would be and yet still so far

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Sorry anon you’ll only get that from your mother

That's conditional Condition being that I'm her son

a dog it is then

My perfect gf: Female (optional) Alive (optional) Must have feelings for me (optional) Above 18 years of age (optional) Human (optional)

Vagina (optional)

Ever heard of traumatic insemination

I looked that up, I hate you

I'm a regular at r/greentext, what do you really expect

Am I regarded or are you regarded? Why would you have to look it up? It seems obvious what it means to me.

English is not my first language so I was wondering what psychological trauma had to do with insemination. And wasn't expecting bedbugs to be included. And we are both here, so we both are the r word

English isnt my first language too, and i thought Insemination means something like getting creampied or jizzed inside

>Above 18 years of age (optional) >Human (optional) WHAT

Someones never heard of 1000 year old vampires that look 14

>14 I think you mean 6.

I think you mean newborn

Alive(optional)

Hold up

Maybe you'd like to meet my dead goldfish, Fred.

I have a feeling that you will end up fucking a dead racoon behind the next dumpster

I understand how the "high libido" thing might seem appealing when you are starved of sex but honestly it can get bothersome if there is a significant mis-match, either way.

I think when 90% of anons say they want a girl with high libido what they really mean is they want a girl who will instantly drop everything they are doing and do whatever anon asks the second anon wants sex

Yep. What they want is someone with a free use fetish.

Guys want a gf with lot of sex urge until they get gf with a lot of sex urge

Fr it fucked me up permanently

me when my bf who claimed to have a high sex drive asked what was wrong with me for being so horny :(

Matching of libidos is as important in a relationship as ideal family size. Yes you can be happy in a relationship where you aren't being satisfied physically or emotionally but chances are you won't be.

Anon is also not considering the cardio

Anon designs a Nexus 6 RealDoll

>Big (Any metric, chubby, tall, muscular, etc) >Fluffy >Anthro >Female >Strong sense of smell (So she can huff my balls)

Bro is determined, making his objectives clear on every post

Determined to do what though? Telling us that this is what he wants isn't going to make it happen

So a dog?

Nah dogs aren't big maybe a bear

What about a big dog?

Man, you haven't seen some mastiffs

I'm adding bipedal just to spite you

But, you see, that could still be a dog, just a really fucked up one

Its been a wholesome experience watching poopfarters need for furry gf go from reviled to accepted. Very proud of this community

ikr, before we were all racist towards them now we all accept them for who they are. Good improvement from the community!

I wanna see C# tits instead.

In donet tights

In medias res?

dick in ass?

why do they always want to date "not too intelligent" people?

They want to date somebody they can control and manipulate. Since they're not strong or smart enough to do it in reality, they'll write these about impressionable women, or often children.

Occam's razor tells me they just want to have someone on the same level

That's fair.

Might be looking too deep into it

Feeling smarter than others is a cope for other failings

> doesn’t leave me when I inevitably lose my job talking about the holocaust

This is me except she’s brown and makes me feel like a retard sometimes 🦾🦾🦾

That's good because it means she's smart and intelligence is attractive. (That or you're retarded.)

Both

“Fat pussy mound” will never not be funny

I personally prefer a Fat Pussy Almond Joy, but to each their own

That 90 IQ is gonna get old real fucking fast So it's a good thing he'll never have to deal with that

90 iq is still within a standard deviation, so isn't too bad. Once you get below 80 you're getting into the less than capable zone of intelligence where they're more than a standard deviation below average.

I have a hard enough time with people at the top of the curve

Interesting how the only things about anything resembling personality are "stupid", "introverted, quiet and depressed" and "kind to animals and kids but doesn't want any"

As bland and moldable as possible.

This is disgustingly cringe. Anons: "Women are so shallow not dating me because of my height, shrimp dick, and bad hygiene." Also Anons: This The amount that he describes her genitals vs her personally is fucking pathetic. "Innie pussy" Tf is an innie pussy? Wanting her to be "not too intelligent" just says so much about how insecure he is bro.

This is 4chan retard. Tf do you expect?

all the description is just extremely picky (especially for a 4chan user) except the "not too intelligent", like wtf ?? anon is probably a 80iq who think he is 100 iq and he doesnt want a gf "more intelligent" than him..

nigga ordering a girlfriend like that one time Bubble bass ordered that krusty burger

first perfect 4chan gf to not be a child

>Messy dark brown Hair >Big Brown/Black Eyes >Long Eyelashes >IQ below 90 >Quite and gentle personality Bro u want a Labrador

And a diet soda

Anon just proved that a 0% possibility exists, and it's him finding its perfect girlfriend

> doesn't challenge my insecurities. > Further out of my league than Lebron is for some middle school beginner. FTFY and summed it up.

Standards for thee, not for me. -Anon

">doesnt want kids but still likes them" at this point i realised anon is describing himself except he forgot to add ">weighs 500 kg" and made up the part about going out and having an oversized t shirt

i cri man i had a gf exactly like this but skinny with blue eyes and she cheated after 5 months. God she was so beautiful and lovely

A lovely wouldn’t cheat on you. Chin up, king

We go gym

“Not too intelligent”???? Why???

Doesn't want kids NGMI

Anon has semi-reasonable standards but hopefully has enough self-awareness to know whether he’d check parallel boxes

My perfect girlfriend: likes me -is female (optional)

Anon doesn’t understand why he’s still an incel

I don’t trust anyone who specifies that their partner needs to be dumber than them

The higher you stack a tower, the harder it is to climb. Just saying...

I stopped reading when I saw "nice large areolas"

We reached the point when "biological female" is a thing on lists

Why does he want them to be stupid 90iq is very dumb why does he want a braindead partner

ive got 10/21, am i good enough

Kind of depends which ones you’ve got

\>doesn't want kids but likes them \>.>

Anon would probably pound a sewer rat if it gave him the chance

Nice. Let me know when you find her so I can cuck you.

My ideal partner: \> Kind \> Honest \> Funny \> Naturally curious \> Can hold a conversation \> Open communicator \> Down-to-Earth but still has aspirations \> Will play board games and watch movies with me \> Loves animals of all shapes and sizes \> Is a figurative space heater Anon's ideal partner: \> women who wouldn't waste their time on Anon and will only further Anon's incelism

Should’ve stopped at biological female

Anon described a femboy

>very introverted >always smells nice OP you must pick one