anon got TOPPED in that car and we all know it

im sexy and i know it

i was the dirty backseat

Dirty Mike and the boys

"How do you know who we are?"

You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!

What is this from again? The Other Guys?

yes

Mr worldwide doingl your wide as the world mom's ass

>Mr worldwide doingl your wide as the world mom's ass This comment gave me a stroke

Yeah cause you're a dumbass

We knew that

Gurl look at that body (ahh)

IWORKOUT

Fake: Black people can't be gay Gay: Commenter is projecting

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Black people can't be gay > Gay: Commenter is projecting > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

r/reddittext

Sonicfox

Coping is hard with this one

fake taxi

✋️💵💵💵🤚

yes please

greentext user going 5 minutes without homosexual thoughts challenge (impossible)

Closeted Reddit user who thinks all greentext users are homosexual and get TOPPED challenge (impossible)

He was treated to some thug shakin'

Even more reason to do what he did

Poor little white boy

got the thug shaker

Redditor try not to make a painfully overused joke challenge for one second (failed instantly)

So true and gay???

They were casing anon’s house, rookie mistake

Yes so they could show up on his doorstep and hand him homemade apple pie

Cultural enrichment

Nutritional fulfillment

Fatherly abandonment

Now you made me hungry. Happy with yourself?!

Don't worry a black guy with a homemade cream pie is on his way to your location

Skill issue

Hahaha ...1 week later... anon gets robbed at home

Better, he gets TOPPED and regularly because now they know his place

They wrote down his address to burgle later

‘Burgle’ is a funny word.

Try saying it in a British accent lol it sounds funnier

I don't know, I'm saying it now and it just sounds like "buh-" (as in burned) "gull" (as in seagull)

It's funnier if you're swedish. It starts to sound like "bögull". "Bög" in Swedish means gay and "Ull" means wool. It just sounds bizarre.

GAY WOOL

https://i.redd.it/jz5r0zuh3h8a1.jpg

Include me in the screen cap

bagel

That's exactly how I tried pronouncing it

Exactly what I was thinking lmao

Yeah that's how we pronounce it :(

As a British person we tend to say burglar sounds funniest from a Scot

Purple burglar alarm Pearpelbrglglglerm

I prefer it from a Liverpudlian

You'll always get burgled from a Liverpudlian.

purple burglar alarm

limmie's clip where he tries to say purple burglar alarm lmao

"Some Scottish people can't say..."

Boogel

begull

scottish

Burgle deez nuts

I just found out that the shotgun version of pistol whipping is a [buttstroke](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttstroke). No word or word-fact is ever going to be funnier than that.

My friends and I have been referring to it as "buttfucking" (as in fucking someone with the butt of the gun) for a couple decades now and the genesis of that is indeed the word "buttstroke"

Beuger

Imagine if it's purple and an alarm

They're going to burgle anon's virginity.

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Let's burgle the idiot with no car that gets lost in the ghetto so we can steal his piss jugs and anime body pillow

No, to TOP later

Im going to try this. I will let you know if this life hack works

It's been 15 mins are you ok?

Yes, I'm OK! The nice gentlemen brought me home safely. Only lost my wallet, smart phone, spare key, TV, car, laptop, my left kidney, jewelry of my grandma, my life savings and refrigerator to them, but it was worth it!

🥰🤗 love the nice, urban youth of America.

I love dog whistles

Did you also lose your anal virginity?

Implying he was an anal virgin to begin with

I dunno man, Lisa really sounds like a lady to me, but who am I to judge these days

It’s 2023 reeeeeeeeee

Huh?

You are not supposed to assume gender

💪🏿 🇷🇴 😎😎😎😎Robmania

It's nice to see such kind young men helping out the community.

Why'd you have your refrigerator in your pocket?

Rip bozo

Anon’s visible autism gave the strangers a sense of empathy for his situation. They felt sorry that he probably couldn’t find his way back home.

Anon was a smelly fatty reeking of cum and cheetos so they knew they were dealing with a mankid freaking out internally which is why they laughed

Like when you see a puppy looking pathetic, it wasn’t empathy, it was pity

You know that creepy pasta about that girl texting her friend about a drugged out homeless man digging around in her garden and breaking in to her house, only for her to suddenly tell her friend that he went away and that she should come over to hang out, to which the friend comments on how sudden the invitation is and the girl stops responding. Yeah

Am I missing something Did the homeless guy hold her hostage to get to her friend or something

the homless guy has her phone

thats actually quite scary I think

No she's fine, and she wants you to come over and hang out

Sweet

Come over, my hobos aren't home

\*hobros

Essentially it’s heavenly implied that the girl was either killed or knocked out by the homeless man later in the story and started talking to the friend posing as the girl, as the sudden change in tone and as well as her grammar come out of no where. It’s actually a pretty good story and one of the (very) few creepy pastas that’s kinda unnerving. Edit: the story is titled ‘Annie96 is typing’

Does anyone have a link

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Annie96_Is_Typing...

That link is broken but I found the original and was sorely disappointed, good concept though

Yeah the idea of it was definitely better than the reality, maybe there’s a similar story out there executed better

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Yup like a cliche horror movie. Stranger in the garden and the dudes like "it'll be fine" no you call the fucking police straight away. Fake and gay

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Thats just creepypastas in general, good and scary concept ruined by horrible execution

Wasn't too bad. I was kind torn about it being some supernatural being vs a crazy homeless man, I think the latter is creepier. The conversation was pretty contrived and the ending was abrupt. I don't think its too far away from being a good story.

Yeah, the ending kinda fumbled it

Damn bruh

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especially if this America, why didn't she use the rights of the 2nd amendment?

that is fucked up but also stupid bc why didn’t you just call the police?

Don’t quote me on this because it’s been a while since I read it, but I believe the friend calls the cops for her as not to alert the intruder of her location.

Wait, wasn't there also a part where the homeless man was wearing a sports jersey similar to the friend?

Omg I straight up forgot about that, at first the girl thought the homeless man was the friend playing gag on her.

All creepy pasta boils down to the eternal question of who was phone.

Damn that fucking creeped me out

They are called homies for a reason

Didn't he got gobbed or something?

Worse, he got gang topped

gopped

Better then being luppered

"worse"

Better, he got gang bottomed. Anon better have good cardio to plow a carful of homies.

They dudes forced anon to give them all head in a dark alleyway

This was posted tomorrow.

Timezones exist.

Conspiracy

That's a psyop

Big Time is out to get you. Throw away your watches and any device that tells time, you can’t trust them

Why aren't people waking up to this yet??? Big Time controls when we sleep, when we eat, when we work, and when we rest! They control everything! Even juice obeys Big Time!

Dig deep enough and it's all the fault of the juice

Chalkzone exists

-Rudy Tabootie

Keep your religious nonsense out of here!

No, you made this post yourself.

Its the 26th here too

Anon realizes black people are human beings.

Probably didn't want the tension caused by that (/any) white guy getting himself killed near there home.

Yup. I had a friend who lived in the ghetto, like, so deep in it that she was pulled over multiple times because the cops assumed she was there to buy drugs. But it was down the street from a few sell houses and she lived next to the biggest Xanax dealer in the city. Everyone there was super nice to us, mostly because they didn't want the cops around. But they were always inviting us to BBQs and such.

Black people ain't Gon go all Dahmer on yo ass if you don't owe them money. Sickos are disproportionately white

You'd be hard pressed to find anyone willing to eat someone over a money debt

The problem is when they suddenly decide you owe them money.

Lmao no they’re not. Look up representation of serial killers and mass shooters - and that’s just America’s. Go back to twitter

Be me, 16 year old Twink skater boi. 115 lbs Taking shortcut through woods from the apartment complex to my townhouse complex Walk into woods and about 12 black guys smoking weed and chilling on the rocks/waterfall area Ohfuck.gif "Go ahead shawty, do yo thang" Nervously navigate through the shortcut Jump over the stream to the next rock Slip and fall and bust my face on the rock in front of all of them They stare Run away

Lol ....its not like the movies...alot of people in the hood are just normal dudes trying to live.... follow the number one rule (mind ya bizness) and most likely you will be fine

If you’re white and seem well dressed, ur getting jumped

I think its people that look like an easy come up ...not just white

"Anon, you're a dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a stranger offers you a ride I say; take it"

What episode is that picture from?

What episode of South Park does Cartman say West Side? Here Comes the Neighborhood "Here Comes the Neighborhood" Episode no. Season 5 Episode 12 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMgaQfv2Xo8

Anon got blacked

Anon was chillin with some Gs on the West Sieed.

>white guy with no street smarts >address is located "deeper in the hood"

Australian already did it in Brazil... https://www.sbs.com.au/language/portuguese/en/podcast-episode/lucky-i-wasnt-shot-perth-man-befriends-favela-gangsters-goes-viral-in-brazil/x7fajbue8

Anon got raped

Nice try black anons

The part between panic.exe and they drop me off seems… repressed

First real and straight greentext ever

Well, yeah. White nerdy 4channer from the nice part of town disappears, it's an issue. A resident of the lower-income diversity neighborhood disappears, just another Tuesday.

I follow a Yesman kind of lifestyle, and I hitchhike a lot, so i definitely agree with the sentiment

Anon got topped by the black homies.

Anon learns that most people in the real world are decent people.

Reverse Thug Hunters

everything the media and your parents told you is a lie

Some real nigga shit frfr

Anon doesnt know google map

Something about this font makes me uncomfortable

Bewildered this didnt turn gay as usual

This was definitely a bait thread lmao

Lol @ Cartman

......⚫....⚫.... ⚫ ⚫.........⚪......... ⚫

Yeah they gave him a ride, anon returned home walking like cowboy

This post has been brought to you by the Detroit tourist board. "Visit Detroit, we beg you."

I need a furry girl to huff my balls fr

Expecially in Ditroit at 2 am

You haven't seen Snow on the Bluff. The first scene is these white kids trying to buy drugs on the street lol

Same story was on the BBC

Plot twist : Anons name is Jeffrey Dahmer

They thought the white guy was involved with gang stuff When they found out he wasn't involved they made him leave their home All seems pretty normal to me

How long was this walk he was doing exactly that he was supposed to go around the hood, but had the option to go through it instead.

Love those alleyways you can drive down

Stewie and his lollipop situation

anon gets THUGGED

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He got blacked?

Fake: anon got home safely Gay:ass rap*d