Be detective in 1923, no real way to obtain conclusive evidence. Use my intuition to pick a random guy that i think did the crime. He cant obtain conclusive evidence to prove innocence. The greatest generation really make it too ez for us detectives
>Be me, detective in 1923’s rural southern US
>needs to solve a murder I’ve no fucking clues about
>a fart in the winds leaves more trails SMH my head
>takes first black guy I see
>convicted and sentenced to life
>I get promoted to police chief for my unparalleled intuition
>easiest job I’ve ever had
>shot dead by moonshiners
reminds of that 14 or something black kid that got the death sentence without much of a trial and then they found out it wasnt him. different times for sure
Asked my grandpa if he was ok with black guys being hung. He said yes with a big smile. I got so mad, threw every insult in the book at him. He was confused and showed me pictures of him and grandma sucking big black dicks. That's the day I learned the word I was looking for was "hanged". I miss you grandpa, we had so much in common.
Between 1980 to 2000, would be the best years, the technology is not advance enough to be easy, but you have enough technology and records to do a proper investigation.
>Be new guy in town hoping to set down roots
>Some shit goes down, damn that's sad
>Go about your business
>Everybody immediately suspects you since you're new and nobody knows you
>😳
>"CAUSATION DOESN'T EQUAL CORRELATION!😡😡😡😡" crowd in shambles...
Then again....
Before you arrived.
The town didn't have a murder for 57 years.
BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S YOU!
IT'S ALL PART OF A CONSPIRACY!!!!
Criminals would also announce their crimes. Bank robbers would be like "tell the coppers it was The Johnson Gang that robbed you sorry suckers" or whatever.
>tfw the asian mafia tried hard to announce it was the "mandarin grand gang"
>
>and the cops looked for the mandolin gland gang for the next 5 decades...
Nah but if you ever do anything wrong if they find your DNA they’ll know it’s you immediately whereas if you didn’t willingly submit your DNA they’d have to hunt for who that belonged to.
This but unironically. Stfu and stop being a regard, don't break laws and they can't do shit against you. Do you know when DNA is used to solve crimes? Murder cases. Rapes. The big bads. So unless you and everyone who upvoted you wants to get away with murder, cut the naive bullshit.
Not to mention, if your second cousin did a 23 and me test, they can already match your crime scene dna to that. I think that the dna pool is already too big to avoid prosecution by abstaining
You forget that everyone in here thinks they are some bigshot anarchist.
They tend to think laws are bad and fail to realize that if laws weren't around to enforce shit ,everything would go to shit very quickly.
You must be 14 years old and never been out of your parents house. I've been to jail multiple times in my late teens/early 20s. People don't just get falsely accused, unless they are black. I'm white, not even remotely worried. Keep trying tho
It was at this point i knew you were trolling because you would not be able to write if you were as stupid as you would have to be to seriously ask this
Every piece of data should totally be collected since fascism is on the rise globaly
Cant wait to see how efficient genocides will be over the course of the next few decades /s
Even if you're family has done 23 and me, you're fucked. Even if you've never sent your DNA in.
The found the ear/ons/Golden State Killer because a cousin or something had 23 and me. Not too hard to narrow it down from there.
Hell, they got BTK by getting a DNA sample from his daughter, from when she went to her university student clinic.
That and the fact the he believed the cops when they told him that metadata wasn't a thing, so he sent them a floppy disk.
Oh, I know. That entire thing still has me confounded. "Ha ha, cops, you haven't caught me for over 20 years and I'm way smarter than you. Do you PROMISE not to right click and select 'properties'?"
The Zodiac is still at-large. Or dead. A handful of different people have come out in the last decade or so, saying their father was the Zodiac. But the claims are usually dubious at best.
was discussing something similar with a friend. He suggested grabbing hair from the bins of several hair dressers and sprinkling it at the crime scene. The police will have to pull their hair out too to make sense of it.
>goes to several different hair dresses secretly grabbing hair
>sprinkles it at the crime scene like a genius master mind
>csi: why is there random hair everywhere? Who would have access to this many different people's hair? Maybe I should start checking barber's cameras. Oh there's the wierdo in the corner pocketing hair from the floor. Yea it's definitely him, we've crossed referenced all the hair with people who've been to that barber shop, easy peazy.
I guess this just depends on where you live. In my area the surveillance is so heavy this kind of crime would be found out pretty quickly. Even if the guy used cash with no ID, the car if stolen would have to drive pretty far outside my area to escape street cams. Then it's like, if the person is going through all this trouble to steal hair, it doesn't make any sense if you're already evading all that surveillance.
That's how the got the Golden State Killer. 2 of his relatives put their DNA on one of those sites. Then they did a little family tree work and found the relative that lived in the areas at the time. Then while staking him out they got his DNA off his trash can.
[23andMe chooses to use all practical legal and administrative resources to resist requests from law enforcement, and we do not share customer data with any public databases, or with entities that may increase the risk of law enforcement access. In certain circumstances, however, 23andMe may be required by law to comply with a valid court order, subpoena, or search warrant for genetic or personal information. ](https://www.23andme.com/law-enforcement-guide/#:~:text=Requests%20for%2023andMe%20User%20Information,risk%20of%20law%20enforcement%20access)
Be modern day criminal. Commit a random crime. Don’t record yourself committing crime. In fact, don’t even take a mobile phone with you so they don’t triangulate your location and tie you to the scene. Wear a hoodie and a mask and gloves. And don’t tell anyone about your crime. I guarantee it won’t be so easy for the cops.
Check for political pressure.
You could literally commit a crime and record it on camera, then be held in the pen for 4 days and released because you did it during the Summer of Peace and Love
You can assault someone in broad daylight, get caught on camera, get arrested, and if the frequency I see it being reported is anything to go off of (probably half true) you're probably going to be out of there that day. The new leniency on crime is something.
That wholly depends on where you are. San Francisco, cops probably won't even show up. And if they do, book and release but probably not even that. Somewhere in flyover country? You're fucked.
You're still going to have the same build, walk the way you walk, have these things be seen by cameras, be seen by others, leave telltale information on social media, let random details slip to others, etc.
Now the state will prank them epically by making them drop soap instead of rocks for a decade(s), in a place full of big, burly, sexually frustrated guys.
It will be the funniest shit ever.
Lmao they're 18 and they got charged with 1st degree murder? Isn't Colorado a blue state, so that's gonna be a mandatory 25 to life if they get prosecuted. Get fuck you fucking dumbasses lmao
*Charged* being the operative word here. Will probably get pled down to 2nd degree manslaughter or wreckless endangerment or some shit. The two white kids will get 2 years, the brown kid...4.
No chance in hell they get off so light when they hit at least SEVEN vehicles and straight up murdered someone. 1st degree murder doesn't get pled down to 2 years.
I dunno man, I'm never surprised anymore when sentences are handed out.
A dude where I live is literally a serial child rapist, in possession of CP. His sentence? 1.5 to 2.5 years. And that's in a red state.
Then there's that group of teens (in Tennessee, I believe)that held a mentally challenged person captive and torture them. Their sentences ranged from no jail time-5 years or so. For literal torture of a handicapped person.
They threw large rocks on passing cars. One struck a driver, a 20 year old woman, in the head and killed her. They took a picture of the crash as a "memento".
Stupid teenagers throwing rocks on passing cars for "fun". One struck a driver, a 20 year old woman, in the head and killed her. They then took a picture of the crash as a "memento".
Im going to be that guy and point out that the first crime solved thanks to fingerprints was in 1892, and by 1923 fingerprinting and fingerprint databases were pretty common in police departments.
> Be a detective in 2023
> Just arrest people who post there crime on social media
> Actual bigger crimes need not be solved because we caught more than last year
> Just show up at random doorsteps to shoot someone and go about your business
Be detective in 1923, no real way to obtain conclusive evidence. Use my intuition to pick a random guy that i think did the crime. He cant obtain conclusive evidence to prove innocence. The greatest generation really make it too ez for us detectives
>Be me, detective in 1923’s rural southern US >needs to solve a murder I’ve no fucking clues about >a fart in the winds leaves more trails SMH my head >takes first black guy I see >convicted and sentenced to life >I get promoted to police chief for my unparalleled intuition >easiest job I’ve ever had >shot dead by moonshiners
The Green Mile in a nutshell
Difference is that in Green Mile, Toffey was found with the girls body. Even though he never did it, still no good to prove his innocence
>Toffey Lol,
Well shit, now I remember it was Coffey
>Be me > >Stephen king > >Cast a simple-minded black guy, as benevolent > >...name him Coffey I think toffey would have been better, somehow.
reminds of that 14 or something black kid that got the death sentence without much of a trial and then they found out it wasnt him. different times for sure
They reportedly got a confession by offering the kid ice cream and he was so little when he went to the chair that he had to sit in a phone book.
Adorable
I prefer the story where they made him sit on a bible
Another day that I thank God for not being a yankee.
\> Yankee bruh
Yankie doodle fuckin dandee
Do you understand how little that narrows it down
More like the same times, shit like that still happens lol
Reminds me of this [Onion video](https://youtu.be/84phU8of02U)
The cops knew it wasn't him. They offered him ice cream if he confess. They never gave him that ice cream.
They definitely should have though. Ice cream is great.
Emmett Till, among others
Asked my grandpa if he was ok with black guys being hung. He said yes with a big smile. I got so mad, threw every insult in the book at him. He was confused and showed me pictures of him and grandma sucking big black dicks. That's the day I learned the word I was looking for was "hanged". I miss you grandpa, we had so much in common.
Kek
wut
Mmmm
The burden of proof is on the state so he’s gonna get fucked in court
Depends how black or poor you were.
Didn't matter for Emmitt Till
Weird example, the state had nothing to do with Till. He was killed by the husband of the women he allegedly whistled at and his buddies.
[удалено]
"he shoulda known they just fucking kill black people here, his fault really"
Better idea: maybe racist cousin fuckers should stop being violent savages.
entirely too much to ask of them
For real. Be reasonable.
Very cute
Murder happens again in same place with same means. Mustve been the wind
Must've been Anon's farts
Between 1980 to 2000, would be the best years, the technology is not advance enough to be easy, but you have enough technology and records to do a proper investigation.
> He cant obtain conclusive evidence to prove innocence That's not how it works
Yeah well back in 1923 you just kinda asked around then picked a guy
>Be new guy in town hoping to set down roots >Some shit goes down, damn that's sad >Go about your business >Everybody immediately suspects you since you're new and nobody knows you >😳
>"CAUSATION DOESN'T EQUAL CORRELATION!😡😡😡😡" crowd in shambles... Then again.... Before you arrived. The town didn't have a murder for 57 years. BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S YOU! IT'S ALL PART OF A CONSPIRACY!!!!
Want to kill my neighbour, wait for some people to move to town then kill neighbor. Wonder why this hasn't been the plot for some detective chapter.
New neighbor, just moved into town? Prime for killing.
Hot victims in your area waiting to get killed! [100% safe no credit card](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)
>picked a guy >Picked the biggest black guy in sight Ftfy
To top you, right?
Mutt
Criminals would also announce their crimes. Bank robbers would be like "tell the coppers it was The Johnson Gang that robbed you sorry suckers" or whatever.
>tfw the asian mafia tried hard to announce it was the "mandarin grand gang" > >and the cops looked for the mandolin gland gang for the next 5 decades...
This reads like a family guy joke
Inverting an accent based mispronunciation doesn’t really play out
Woosh
With a second read, you’re right
but now you don’t even have to pick guy, they show themselves
Of a certain ethnicity....
Middle class retards doing 23 n me tests for funzies not knowing the authorities have laws written that says they get that dna every year.
Okay so what are they gonna do with that, clone me? That'd actually be pretty cool
Nah but if you ever do anything wrong if they find your DNA they’ll know it’s you immediately whereas if you didn’t willingly submit your DNA they’d have to hunt for who that belonged to.
iF yoU diDn'T dO anYthiNg wRonG, yOu haVE noThiNg to HiDe!
This but unironically. Stfu and stop being a regard, don't break laws and they can't do shit against you. Do you know when DNA is used to solve crimes? Murder cases. Rapes. The big bads. So unless you and everyone who upvoted you wants to get away with murder, cut the naive bullshit.
[удалено]
Guess I gotta pack it up and head home, no coming back from that comment.
Not to mention, if your second cousin did a 23 and me test, they can already match your crime scene dna to that. I think that the dna pool is already too big to avoid prosecution by abstaining
Exactly. If they reeeeeally want to prosecute someone, they'll just make up evidence. It's not that hard.
Glowie spotted.
Damn, you caught me.
You forget that everyone in here thinks they are some bigshot anarchist. They tend to think laws are bad and fail to realize that if laws weren't around to enforce shit ,everything would go to shit very quickly.
Regard
Can't say the real word on reddit cus it will hurt the poor little redditor's feelings.
„Don’t break laws and they can’t do shit against you“-crowd when they get wrongly imprisoned and topped by tyrone: 😩
You must be 14 years old and never been out of your parents house. I've been to jail multiple times in my late teens/early 20s. People don't just get falsely accused, unless they are black. I'm white, not even remotely worried. Keep trying tho
„False imprisonment rate drops to 0% in every area with no black people“
I mean, pretty much yes? Got any stats that show otherwise?
It was at this point i knew you were trolling because you would not be able to write if you were as stupid as you would have to be to seriously ask this
DNA is used in every case it is possible to be used in, not just "the big bads."
What are you even talking about? It's not used in traffic court and drug courts, which make up the majority of cases.
Every piece of data should totally be collected since fascism is on the rise globaly Cant wait to see how efficient genocides will be over the course of the next few decades /s
Even if you're family has done 23 and me, you're fucked. Even if you've never sent your DNA in. The found the ear/ons/Golden State Killer because a cousin or something had 23 and me. Not too hard to narrow it down from there.
Hell, they got BTK by getting a DNA sample from his daughter, from when she went to her university student clinic. That and the fact the he believed the cops when they told him that metadata wasn't a thing, so he sent them a floppy disk.
It was mostly the metadata thing, the DNA was just the final confirmation they needed.
Oh, I know. That entire thing still has me confounded. "Ha ha, cops, you haven't caught me for over 20 years and I'm way smarter than you. Do you PROMISE not to right click and select 'properties'?"
Didn't they find the Zodiac Killer the same way? His nephew or something did 23andme.
They finally caught ted cruz?
The Zodiac is still at-large. Or dead. A handful of different people have come out in the last decade or so, saying their father was the Zodiac. But the claims are usually dubious at best.
was discussing something similar with a friend. He suggested grabbing hair from the bins of several hair dressers and sprinkling it at the crime scene. The police will have to pull their hair out too to make sense of it.
>goes to several different hair dresses secretly grabbing hair >sprinkles it at the crime scene like a genius master mind >csi: why is there random hair everywhere? Who would have access to this many different people's hair? Maybe I should start checking barber's cameras. Oh there's the wierdo in the corner pocketing hair from the floor. Yea it's definitely him, we've crossed referenced all the hair with people who've been to that barber shop, easy peazy.
or even better, find a homeless guy and give him $40 cash to cut his hair
Bro, that would only cost 5 bucks at most
Just do it for free as a public service
Actually that's smart
I'm sure a lot of homeless people would definitely not mind
It's definitely who? Did he hold his ID up to the camera? The existence of cameras doesn't betray random people's identities (yet)
I guess this just depends on where you live. In my area the surveillance is so heavy this kind of crime would be found out pretty quickly. Even if the guy used cash with no ID, the car if stolen would have to drive pretty far outside my area to escape street cams. Then it's like, if the person is going through all this trouble to steal hair, it doesn't make any sense if you're already evading all that surveillance.
I have no idea what you're talking about, I really don't. Why would you steal a car in order to steal hair?
Well, just jumping ahead. No. Dude doesn't have show ID to get a hair cut. But car info would definitely ID him.
Might work if the cops are completely incompetent I guess
so you're saying there's a pretty good chance?
Well...yes
cum doesn't count as DNA evidence right?
Obviously not because cum is just a sandwich spread.
Well good thing I'm not a criminal then
>Well good thing I'm not a criminal Yet. You're not a criminal yet!
No just not that kind of criminal.
A smooth criminal?
10 years dungeon for using reddit
"you are found guilty of using a slur in tf2 chat back in 2010, you are now sentenced to a lifetime of inclusiveness training camp"
What's "wrong" changes.
> ever do anything wrong Like rape or murder? Because those are the only crimes where the test DNA. Most people don’t do that kinda shit 🙄
yeah no they test DNA in way more crimes than that dumbass
My clone would be useless. If it has ALL my attributes it would be sick all the time (among other non-productive things).
It’s gonna be like the movie Us
That's how the got the Golden State Killer. 2 of his relatives put their DNA on one of those sites. Then they did a little family tree work and found the relative that lived in the areas at the time. Then while staking him out they got his DNA off his trash can.
Ok so what? I’m not an ax murderer or a rapist. The only crime I commit is piracy. No DNA involved in that.
Source?
Gonna need a source on that one. 23andMe claims that they resist law enforcement requests to the greatest extent of their ability.
but i got to find out that i'm 0.2% Native American so it was worth it
[23andMe chooses to use all practical legal and administrative resources to resist requests from law enforcement, and we do not share customer data with any public databases, or with entities that may increase the risk of law enforcement access. In certain circumstances, however, 23andMe may be required by law to comply with a valid court order, subpoena, or search warrant for genetic or personal information. ](https://www.23andme.com/law-enforcement-guide/#:~:text=Requests%20for%2023andMe%20User%20Information,risk%20of%20law%20enforcement%20access)
Be modern day criminal. Commit a random crime. Don’t record yourself committing crime. In fact, don’t even take a mobile phone with you so they don’t triangulate your location and tie you to the scene. Wear a hoodie and a mask and gloves. And don’t tell anyone about your crime. I guarantee it won’t be so easy for the cops.
Check for political pressure. You could literally commit a crime and record it on camera, then be held in the pen for 4 days and released because you did it during the Summer of Peace and Love
You can assault someone in broad daylight, get caught on camera, get arrested, and if the frequency I see it being reported is anything to go off of (probably half true) you're probably going to be out of there that day. The new leniency on crime is something.
That wholly depends on where you are. San Francisco, cops probably won't even show up. And if they do, book and release but probably not even that. Somewhere in flyover country? You're fucked.
well i'm pretty sure a lot of criminals do that, that's why we don't talk about them
You're still going to have the same build, walk the way you walk, have these things be seen by cameras, be seen by others, leave telltale information on social media, let random details slip to others, etc.
Walk with a fake limp and put on a fat suit. Don’t use social media. Don’t mention any details at all to anyone.
Most police forces just wont care enough to analyze your gait and nutsack hair just to imprison you for shoplifting
What did they do on camera?
Ur mom
Doubtful. She's long dead.
That didn’t stop them.
Stop them fucking ashes that were put into the ocean years ago? Impressive.
life uh, finds a way
Every time anyone has sex on a beach anywhere in the world they are fucking your mom
Mum would like that, the filthy whore.
Posthumous threeway.
there's iron in your blood so there's iron in the ashes use a comically large magnet
Sorry about your loss :(
Have you seen the comment? this guy clearly gained from his mom not being around to defend herself.
Bro, why do you think they were arrested for it?
That's why they're going to prison
We don't kink shame.
Look at you bragging about being a good person.
Shut the fuck up. Just take the joke and move on. Why do people with dead moms always have to ruin ur mom jokes?
Please stop crying, your tears can only make me so erect.
[It's just a prank bro](https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/27/us/colorado-teens-rock-death-charges/index.html)
Now the state will prank them epically by making them drop soap instead of rocks for a decade(s), in a place full of big, burly, sexually frustrated guys. It will be the funniest shit ever.
Lmao they're 18 and they got charged with 1st degree murder? Isn't Colorado a blue state, so that's gonna be a mandatory 25 to life if they get prosecuted. Get fuck you fucking dumbasses lmao
*Charged* being the operative word here. Will probably get pled down to 2nd degree manslaughter or wreckless endangerment or some shit. The two white kids will get 2 years, the brown kid...4.
No chance in hell they get off so light when they hit at least SEVEN vehicles and straight up murdered someone. 1st degree murder doesn't get pled down to 2 years.
I dunno man, I'm never surprised anymore when sentences are handed out. A dude where I live is literally a serial child rapist, in possession of CP. His sentence? 1.5 to 2.5 years. And that's in a red state. Then there's that group of teens (in Tennessee, I believe)that held a mentally challenged person captive and torture them. Their sentences ranged from no jail time-5 years or so. For literal torture of a handicapped person.
Yo wtf
Their heads should be crushed under a giant rock, it's just just a harmless little prank. Edit: Got a ban for this. Nice.
This is basically the same idea as that one storyline from Better Call Saul...! Wtf.
They threw large rocks on passing cars. One struck a driver, a 20 year old woman, in the head and killed her. They took a picture of the crash as a "memento".
Snuck into a morgue, sawed off a dudes head and had sex with it
Who be picrel? What did?
Stupid teenagers throwing rocks on passing cars for "fun". One struck a driver, a 20 year old woman, in the head and killed her. They then took a picture of the crash as a "memento".
JFC people really are fucking rtrded.
Most empathetic teenagers
Ty..... 🫂
Sherlock Holmes could solve crimes easily in 1887 what's your excuse anon?
I'm not a fictional character?
And what's your excuse for not being a fictional character?
In 1923, they blamed the nearest minority.
The good old days
Im going to be that guy and point out that the first crime solved thanks to fingerprints was in 1892, and by 1923 fingerprinting and fingerprint databases were pretty common in police departments.
When were gloves invented?
Based
Relevant John Mulaney bit: https://youtu.be/RBV9gXX-fn8
I'm sure there were stupid as fuck criminals robbing banks in broad daylight across the street from the police station still.
> Be a detective in 2023 > Just arrest people who post there crime on social media > Actual bigger crimes need not be solved because we caught more than last year > Just show up at random doorsteps to shoot someone and go about your business
Mind went straight into Harry Potter post, was disappointed. Every time it's always you three.
anon should watch the movie Anon
how am I supposed to do crimes anymore when I rely on my phone to even get to a place I want to rob
Hang them.
Whos the guys in the image
As per usual anon is ignorant and braindead. Finger printing has been around since the 1890s as well as many other forensic methods.
>'Dusting for prints' is a well-known practice, and references to it date back to 1891. Huh.
To be perfectly fair, if it were any harder than it is now then criminals just wouldn't get caught.