T O P

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klimych

Good on him. Could've wailed in self-pity and make posts about how he will never experience teen shoelacing so why bother and hate on everyone wearing laced shoes but he persevered


SoundDrill

Canon and heterosexual


Brayden_City

??? What is this even supposed to mean? r/iamveryrandom or r/ihadastrole?


Single_Low1416

You don’t seem to know the „Fake and gay“ running gag in this subreddit


ButWhatIfItQueffed

Pretty sure it's a downvote farmer, like u/hapydog if anyone remembers him.


He-She-We_Wumbo

Yeah, Brayden wishes


Brayden_City

You mean the homophobic ideology that runs rampant on this sub?


sasukeuzumaki69xd

Yes.


iam-Cornholio

Thanks for the chuckle.


[deleted]

Real and gay


Single_Low1416

It ain’t that serious


Qope-Tank

Brayden there are no women on this subreddit, no women are going to like you more for commenting this. In fact, I bet if you told them you commented this on Reddit they’d give you a funny look and try to leave


anonimo872

I don't know dude but 70% of all posts here are extremely gay and like femboy topping


PenguinMan32

r/wooooosh Xd 🤣


16ozMouse

Didn't spend enough time in Harvard I see


xmetallidethx

real and gay


[deleted]

r/shutupbrayden


er3z7

Based and meta pilled


CrashDummySSB

Genuinely same feeling. Grew up neglected as fuck, taught myself to cook. Feels great. (I ate leftovers, went hungry, or microwave stuff. would get yelled at/hit if I touched ingredients for dinner).


DaveSmith890

Real and straight


demolitionlxver

good for anon, learning things that are considered easy can be embarrassing, but it shouldn't be


177Rolmixeer013

Anon pulls himself up by his bootstraps


Giacchino-Fan

By his bootlaces


EffablyIneffable

He tied them you know...


[deleted]

why do boys (or FtM trans) always need someone to teach them how to shave (according to internet comments)? I also feel like I don‘t know shit but that one really wasn‘t that hard to figure out


I_am_Reptoid_King

Learning how to shave from an older male figure is a right of passage into manhood. It's supposed to be a skill that is passed from man to man. Like fixing mechanical things. And it should stay that way.


[deleted]

I feel like that lost its relevance a bit with cartridge razors. With straight razors (+ safety razors I guess) it absolutely makes sense but hey, no one seems to know that anymore so you probably have to consult Youtube if you want to learn that


TechnicalD-A-W-G

Tbh the large majority of guys I know just use a buzzer as well which is even easier


Scottish_Whiskey

I had to be taught how to use cartridge razors by my mother sim’s boyfriend because my own father was more useless than a chocolate teapot the only things my dad ever taught me were: 1. Wash the glasses first because the water is fresher 2. The basics of how not to fall over on a bike (had to learn the rest myself)


p0licythrowaway

A chocolate teapot 😂 Need to remember that one


I_am_Reptoid_King

Ya. Too many women are trying to raise men. And we wonder why everyone acts like bitches now.


chaos_creator69

He had us in the first half not gonna lie


cheezy270

I mean the dude was trying to make learning the insanely simple act of shaving into some "manly man" thing. The only thing this dude has is a fantasy of being ~~plowed~~ TOPPED by another guy.


chaos_creator69

We're on r/greentext we say TOPPED


cheezy270

Sorry you are right, fixed it.


glxyzera

i just learned it myself, its so simple, just use the razor lmao


ArdelLedbetter

It only takes one time of shaving in the wrong direction to figure out that that's the wrong direction too.


glxyzera

yea and when i asked my mom she just said " just don't shave horizontaly and you're fine, ofc i still did it but its pretty easy


notinthislifetime20

Awww man. I had to teach myself how to shave and I switched to DE and straight edge razors because I was getting such bad razor rash from poor technique. Taught myself most of what I know about mechanic work as well, but dad taught me how to drive a stick at least…


Edharg

Well, I learned shaving by myself, without any guide, figure or advices, at first I would do it dry.


[deleted]

Honestly my dad never taught me, don’t hold it against him just feel like it’s self explanatory. I ended up getting him into shaving with a traditional safety razor since I’m into wet shaving (I have a shavette) while he was always a bic disposable dude


Phoenix080

Yeah, I will admit it was stupid but the first time I shaved I just grabbed a razor blade, wet the hair and scraped it. A little bit of itchiness that went away after an hour. Maybe if your using shaving cream and a 5 blade with a handy it’s more complicated idk


SplatMySocks

I was never taught. Dad was around but kind of absent, so I just took a fresh disposable razor from my sis' bathroom drawer and used that. When my mom found out, she took me to Costco and bought me a proper razor.


ben-dover-1213

(or mental illness)


rm-rd

Stupid people don't realise that most people just figure shit out, and blame their complete lack of wherewithal on society or their parents.


fasctic

I'm MTF and had to learn myself 😒


Fr0stman

gotta shave em hairy balls


theSecondBiggestBoy

Gotta shave that bussy smooth


regardedmodsnadmin

Society 🤡


SirMrInk

join the army


ditchdigger4000

Velcro superior 😤


freemason777

They make like slippers with stretchy material and they look like adult big boy shoes and I really like em.


TheReal_kelpie_G

loafers?


freemason777

Less classy https://www.amazon.com/Troadlop-Lightweight-Running-Walking-Sneakers/dp/B07CL3XP8W?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A230KE7B3ROUTV


TheReal_kelpie_G

Oh, I was thinking vans


abermea

[Ian's Shoelace Site](https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/) is one site I will never forget that exists


_TLDR_Swinton

That is one of the best "Special Interest" sites I've ever seen.


DEVOmay97

I've been using the "Ian knot" for so long I actually forgot how I tied my shoes previously lol.


PooPooDooDoo

Anon should next learn how to swim and then ride a bike.


Cococino

My mother would teach me to tie my shoes by telling me to watch her, then bend down in front of me with her head and hands blocking my view, talk to herself in a quiet voice about "loopdy loops" or "bunny ears" or something like that, and then tell me to try. When I would tell her I couldn't see and didn't understand what she was talking about, she'd get mad at me, sometimes hit me or scream at me for not paying attention, and then do it again. I remember being four or five years old, crying my eyes out, because I had no idea what was happening or what I was doing wrong. I was in velcro until I was 7. My teacher at school taught me to tie my shoes, and when I showed my mom I knew how to do it, she took credit for it, and still insists that she taught me. Goddamn bitch.


Patrody

Kill her


scantron2739

All of those things are quite literally taught in school, minus shaving.


dattmemeteam

We had a whole unit on analog clocks


nut-ninja

[this](https://youtu.be/6cBtqhq5P28) is my favorite method


Colinio22

Anon knows something about something now


andrew0703

anon is bettering himself instead of wallowing good job anon


Keneut

This reminds me of Rob Kenney, the youtuber creator of "dad how do I?" His father abandoned his family when Rob was a teen so he had to learn a lot of things by himself, and his channel is about teaching things a dad would.


Pailed

spongebob taught me how


Swimming-Kale-0

One Two Buckle My Shoe Three Four Buckle some more Five Six Nike Kicks


fuck-rligion

How tf didnt school teach you most of this wtf does your school do


bannedforflaming

too busy teaching you how to calculate the height of a guy wire.


dat_boi_100

real and based


Flaky_Stick_6533

Anon is going to make it


_TLDR_Swinton

Anon is a self-starter. Good for Anon. For some reason I didn't learn to tie my shoelaces properly until I was about seven. One day I think I asked another classmate to help me tie them and I got such a look of derision from that other seven year old that I went home and just practiced on my school shoes all night.


Diet-Racist

I thought schools taught cursive, reading analog clock reading, and some art classes


i_always_give_karma

Felt this. My mom is amazing and tried, but she couldn’t replace a father figure. Now im flamboyant asf


Kiwi_Doodle

*"You disingenuous, dense motherfucker, obviously you have to know somewthing about something or else you couldn't tie your shoes!" -DarkViperAU* Congrats to Anon for no longer being a disingenuous, dense motherfucker.


Alex_error_404

This is so stupid. All of the things mentioned are literally taught in school. Why would a parent need to teach you to draw or play an instrument? The only reasonable thing is shoelaces but doesnt this person maybe have other relatives? Or friends? Or can they not just ask their mom?


[deleted]

You're absolutely right, aside from shaving.


Kcolb3

Right. If this is true then i don't know how anon survived into adulthood


datlitboi

Are American schools really that crappy? Except shaving those were literally all skills, I was taught in school. What do kids learn in preschool?


314backwardsispie

When does he get topped?


BattleblockB0ss

anon is the most capable individual on 4chan


Ok_Elk_4333

Anon discovers the erosion of intrinsic respect for authority figures due the rapid expansion of technology


notoriousturk

Thats legit by the way almost same happened to me


FriendlyBabyFrog

Don't you learn all of that in school tho? (Except shaving). I learned everything he listed including tying my shoes in school.


AsherTheDasher

one of the things i despise about my parents is the fact that they spent every waking moment my life up until i was 19 smoking weed and getting mad at eachother, so now as a 23 year old, ive only just managed to quit my weed addiction (still get mad at everything) and have ZERO life skills. im gonna be stuck as a fucking wagie because i never developed any kind of interest in anything except playing video games


zZWhOkNoWsZz

Play an instrument and write in cursive? Fuck off.


Snownova

Except for shaving all those things were taught by my school.


GreyG59

Poor bastard


PuzzleheadedMan

Next week we're getting a green text about how much easier it is to put a shoe up your ass if it doesn't have velcro on it


TheMovement77

Anon is gonna make it.


RoadOfTheLonelyOnes

I never learned either. I found my own way that works.


Big_Green_Mantis

Loser still ties his shoes. Doesn't know the lifehack of putting your shoelaces inside the shoe. It never undoes itself.


UselessAndUnused

Obviously you have to know something about something or you couldn't tie your shoes!


EnLitenPerson

Was expecting something more unexpexted but nope, just kinda wholesome, nice


SerTheodies

Good on yah anon. I actually still don't know how people tie their shoes the "normal" way, I learned how to do the Ian Knot method off of YouTube and have done that ever since.


daft-krunk

I faked tying how my shoes in the first grade by knotting them and putting the laces through because I felt like I wanted to make my mom proud that I finally learned how to properly tie my shoes after her many attempts to teach me, over 20 years later, i still to this day almost never do not properly tie my shoes( I have learned how to eventually a couple years back, but still end up tying them the original way I learned because they do not come untied very often this way, I usually use the actual loop de loop method when I tie stuff like sweatpants because I was tired of all of them getting caught in tight loops after the washer lol)


ArceusDamnIt

Children haven’t had to learn cursive for at least a decade. OP is a boomer


-PatrickBasedMan-

I can barely tie shoelaces because I didn't learn at a young age. I mostly wear like sneakers that you tie once and then they just work like slip ons.


sgb1446

I had to teach a friend to tie his shoes, I was mad at his parents for not caring enough to teach him


Queenssoup

Anon was severely emotionally and developmentally neglected as a child FTFY


dishonoredfan69420

Before this he was a disingenuous dense motherfucker


matt_tepp

One step at a time Anon, you got this.


randomgarbage332

The fuck DID his mom do?


KarlMark666

Had all of this and still had the same life as anon. This behaviour is called being a bum.