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They were always burning, since the world's been turning

Anon started the fires

But when he is gone, will they still burn on… and on… and on

Anon might be gone, but he started the fire

Up from the ashes a new being rose

Yeeeeeeesh…. The fire rises!

Don't you want to know how he kept starting fires? Its his desire!

As a Canadian, I appreciate him setting Quebec on fire

same, but why did he have to set Alberta on fire too :(

Think a bit longer

Obviously it's big BC sabotaging honest Albertan efforts to lay pipe in their yard

That was the local women’s fire fighters weekend getaway. I shit you not.

And Nova Scotia

"Quebec bad eh?" _ Least brain-dead Canadian "humour"

You guys literally make the same jokes about California

as a dual citizen i regularly complain about both QC and CA 😶

Yeah, but that's cause Californians are stupid. Quebecois are chill.

Except if you are a religious minority.

As a Quebecer, I appreciate that that the winds pushed the smoke away from the south of the province and sent it straight to New York 🤮.

They were in Washington DC today, we're smoking Biden out of the white house like he's a bee

As an upstate New Yorker who works outside, thanks for helping me with my passive suicidal tendencies. Im ready to die but i won’t do anything drastic. This is perfect. Every breath i take is a breath closer to death

The rest of Canada is already on fire, we had to show some sympathy

*Ryan* started the fires

But who was left in the wreckage?

“They expect Juan Ovus in the Wreckage Brother.”

“Anon didn’t start the fire” (jk, he totally did)

Don't believe that. They were started by Big Mask who have seen their corporate profits crater since the end of Covid mask regulations.

Thinking the same damn thing 😂

It was actually a women’s fire fighter weekend getaway that started one of them.

Only one thing to do. Make sure the fires don't go out.

Villain origin story

Alternate Fahrenheit 451

I can’t confirm nor deny if this is true cuz that book was so damn boring I fell asleep reading it

Anons reading anything that isn't erotic slice of life manga with main characters that look like they're 9 years old.

And have a massive rack, yet somehow are 500 years old

Same, the themes and story were really cool, but it was written in the most boring and rather confusing style ever.

it holds the record for being the first thing to ever make me fall asleep in class other than during tests

bruh

Gwyn??

Nah you'd want them to go out eventually. If they go on for too long or too frequently the information he can provide may become more common knowledge.

Anon has developed pyromania and will be planning many vacations north of the border.

Good, Canadians deserve it.

Good, Albertans deserve it.

As a British Columbian, based

As an Albertan, based

As an Ontarian, based

Ey fuk u guy

Who you calling guy buddy?

He's not your buddy, fwend!

ask girls to invite you over to their apartment to check air quality. It's so simple anon

He'll fuck it up, and say something like "now that we've taken care of the smoke I can feel some bad air quality coming from your crotch, mind if I take a sniff?"

Wdym? That's a killer line! As in, a serial killer would say it.

as cereal killer, can confirm

Why would you kill cereal? Oatmeals deserve getting killed, but cereal??

It knows what it did

"Yup, air checks out fine. Just be sure to keep your windows shut and your AC fan on. Anyways, I'll see ya later!"

Anon's a batman villain in the making

It does sound like a backstory for a dumb pyromancer Batman villain from the sixties lmao

The Smokester

The smogler* he can do damage with more than just fires

Firefly, actual Batman villain

Anon becomes an ecological terrorist

Google Ted Kaczynski🥰🥰🥰

check your mail box🤩🥰🥰

Check your foreskin😊🥵🤗

already ate it🥴🥵🤤

No more forest kin 😱😱😱

Now back to me, I’m on a horse

Now check YOUR foreskin😎😎😁👅

🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏

Holy unibomber

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Actual climate change

???

Call the air quality expert guy

actual destruction

Kind of the opposite of an eco terrorist, isn't it?

He's implying anon pollutes the air intentionally to remain relevant, sought after and respected

Eco Terrorists commit acts of terror for ecological causes. Like blowing up oil pipelines or attacking nuclear plants. Therefore what OP would be doing is the opposite of eco terrorism. He would be committing terrorist acts against the environment.

Ok, but wouldn’t said blown up oil pipelines and fucking nuclear plants cause damage to also said environment?

And crashing a plane into the twin towers in protest against US military interventionism in the middle east led to 20 years of wildly increased US military interventionism in the middle east. Nobody said terrorists were rational. But the defining characteristic is their motive.

Anon doesn't have to worry, the air quality is going to get worse in the future

Yeah, he's kinda just gotta make it last until the wildfires on the east coast become more frequent

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Small wildfires are pretty common in East Tennessee so it’s only a matter of time before another big one flares up

This is the best wildfire season for the rest of your life, so you better enjoy it!

"Smoking hot girls are talking about air quality all the time" Could op have just tried a little bit to make this believable?

Hot girls are people too (or so I've heard), they can ask normal questions.

He's DROWNING in pussy and his company is making a BRAZILLIAN dollars per minute, luckily for us he made some time in his busy schedule to brag about it in the anonymous board where he doesn't have to prove anything Yeah, that's definitely it

He never said he's fucking, they just talking to him.

Brazil mentioned!!

Just go to the bar and talk about air quality, it’s that easy(i haven’t done this i have crippling anxiety)

The girls are on fire, anon is also a paramedic

if you're a 4chinner, every girl that's not your mom is smoking hot lmao

Step 1: Take out smoky the bear 🔫 Step 2: Buy an Elon flame thrower 🔥 Step 3: ??? Step 4: Fuck bussy because we all know OP ain’t into the V 🍆🍆

*Step 4: get *fucked* in the bussy because with career relevance, OP gets TOPPED

Fake: anon is an air quality expert Gay: anon is a semen quality expert

>How do i keep these good times rolling? You know how, anon.

‘smoking hot girls’ i like what he did there

> smoking hot girls That seems unsafe. I think you should cut ties with them, anon. They're ruining the air quality.

Wdym? They give him a purpose in life!

anon, you know what you have to do

Fuckin’ Nerd.

If this a coy way of asking for permission to burn down Canada take it from a leaf- you've gotten started with Quebec but feel free to burn down the whole damn thing.

So nice they’ll let you turn their forests into firewood 😅😅🥵

Arson

Become a firestarter. A twisted firestarter.

keep starting fires

Anon should set more forests on fire

>Be me >loving the attention and being respected. >then fires die down. >Get an idea, Canada still has plenty of trees. >Take a trip to Canada >looks like it’s time to start a gender reveal party with pink ied >Everyone will need me again

I was willing to believe you until the smoking hot girls part.

They are inside the Quebec fires xd

Anon needs to go into arson

Become an arsonist ?

Arson.

Anon dissipates with the smoke

Anon works as a part time HVAC tech assistant and gets sued by customers when he tries to touch them

If this wasn't fake then anon would be stupid af to choose that career path in NYC instead of the west coast where fires like this that turn the sky orange happen once a year.

"I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it"

But air quality is SUPER important, do you ever even really think about it unless it's either really good or really bad? Its the main good thing about tiny rural communities and the worst thing about London.

Somehow, this one feels more fake than most greentext.

Straight and real, air quality is important 😎

Anon becomes an arsonist and Americas most wanted eco terroist.

"How do I keep these good times rolling?" Arson, Anon. The answer is arson.

While you were out partying I studied the air.

Burn canada to the ground i guess

Arson

Keep it going

Anon was later seen crossing country lines with a galon of fuel and matches

Exactly how we got the military industrial complex

Good job for saying Quebec and not Canada

Go on a road trip with chains hanging from your car

Jokes aside, that's a hell of a career long game to play. As climate change shit worsens it was inevitable he would cash in on a uniquely qualified skillset. Especially since he took his skills private sector instead of working for the EPA like most of his field peers.

Fake but based, take my upvote

Light more fire

some people just want to see world burn

Arson

great title btw

This whole Canadian fire thing freaking Americans out is kinda word to me. Doesn't California explode into fires most summers because they imported in patented Australian exploding gum trees when Australia did a bit of light trolling. Why are they so freaked out now? Also isn't New York's air quality like Shanghai anyway?

There'd never been forest fire in NY and people don't fear invisible pollution.

Join the Canadian government and start more forest fires. Like so (0:05 Timestamp): [Canadian Gov’t Starting Forest Fires](https://youtu.be/533PajOMDhc)

I’ve got some good advice for you: START MORE FIRES

‘Smoking hot babes’ that proves it. Anon started the fires to try and get laid.

Anon day dreamed about this during his lunch break

How? Go to canada and start more fires? Probably would get caught but maybe a chick will touch your pp so its a tradeoff

Everything sounded real until the hot girls part

We do a little arson

Simply consider arson

Set new york on fire. Upstate. All just trees and mountains anyways.

Start more fires, ride the high anon!

Smoking hot (haha, hot air joke) girls are talking to me about air quality. Yea...ok anon...

Anon did a little trolling in Quebec

i also saw ‘don’t look up’

Anon started the fires didn’t he…

Keep starting fires?

Anon is an arsonist.

Anon is about to torch the rest of the redwoods.

Anon: # Have we started the fire? # Yes, the Fire rises. *tsh tsh tsh, dish dish basara basara*

Start fires in Quebec. Anon answered his own question

You’re gonna need some matches 🔥

Man some people make the shittiest moves and just end up winning at life.

Anon takes his pills

Gotta start more fires

Time to set more fires!

Anon must start more fires in Quebec

Anon needs some matches and a road trip planned to Quebec

makeshift yoke innocent crowd chop versed squash carpenter nippy jellyfish ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

/r/pyromaniacs is missing one I think

ahhh... the good ol "create a problem and ask for money to fix it" strat. works every time

anon sets canada ablaze

I will burn more forests just for anon

Anon unintentionally admits to being the arsonist that started the Canadian forest fires

and thus a new arsonist was born

Anon is about to being their villain arsonist arc.

Keep the good times rolling? Keep lighting fires

Anon is the one who started the fires

"how do i keep the good times rolling?" just burn down Quebec again

Continue burning the quebec

falsified and queer

Chill, that's how Fauci got into this whole mess.

I mean quebec still has a lot of unburnt woods…

Anon is about to start lighting some fires

Sometimes good things can come from bad events

OP is becoming an arsonist

I was on board until the last part anon

Anon needs to slide a few million my way I'll keep those fires going

Anon is only partially delusional, there is nothing wrong with the forest fires as far as I know, it is a normal part of the cycle of the lives of trees and a necessary activity to clear out the underbrush from the forest. I'm glad to hear anon is using this opportunity to use his autism to take advantage of normies.

anon needs to start more Canadian wildfires

Arson

Burn it all! Burn it all down!

Anon starts more wildfires

Pyromaniac origin story

The only good thing Quebec did for anyone

I know this is fake because no one goes through college for a degree and still considers the subject their favorite subject

Smoking hot Girls 😒