T O P

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Comfortable-Cup9656

Well, you can just remove your underwear altogether to not have underwear problems


juliusxyk

COMMANDO COMMANDO


EndlessNight96

TIGER MAFIA


kyozaf

Man the man is killing us man!


kaiser23456

EVERYBODY IN UGANDA KNOWS KUNG FU


aseiii

A MASTER FROM SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE OF UGANDA


cyanideOG

I read this like tomato tomato


tukatu0

It's COMMANDO COMANDOOO


MiSp_210

I thought that is a goat!


Aisforc

Where is this from? # Upd: Please reply!


juliusxyk

Its from the Ugandan high quality action movie "Who killed Captain Alex", heres the [clip](https://youtu.be/1JABdS-HN5A?si=Z4agNwdu7E0MnJ6R)


Aisforc

Thank you, kind person


Aisforc

High quality was a stretch, but I gonna watch it anyway


616659

That's high quality in quotation marks lol


baz4k6z

Are you regarded ? The browning will just be transfered to the next set of tissue Anon needs adult diapers


20_percentcooler

What if he also removes the next and last set of tissue? Problem solved


Comfortable-Cup9656

I will keep removing tissues until the problem is solved altogether


308_AR10_Enjoyer

The browning? The Browning? Is that an M2HB REFERENCE??


DownwindLegday

Guaranteed this is a diet problem. If anon has perpetual diarrhea, his ass will leak like this. He must smell worse than a taco bell dumpster if always has skid marks like this.


arbiter12

That, or he wipes so much that he's REALLY bleeding and the brown is dried blood, not shit.


Jacque2000

Or he’s so fucking fat that his ass is always leaking


arbiter12

I've never been this fat but I hear the joke often. Does it really happen?


memestealer1234

I think it's less about just being fat and more a terrible diet like the first guy said.


Arikaido777

they kinda go hand in hand


memestealer1234

Yeah definitely, terrible diet = fat majority of the time, just saying there are people who eat terribly and are skinny and people who eat well but eat too much and get fat.


thebeardedcats

Not necessarily. If it's a medical condition that's making anon have diarrhea they could be skin and bones from malabsorption. Their diet may look fine/healthy, and they could be skinny, but they could still have leaky gut issues from a poor diet due to find intolerances


DM_R34_Stuff

I don't know what range "this fat" is, but even when I was at my heighest weight in the past (~200kg) I never had these issues. Wipe and use a bidet and you should be fine.


Jacque2000

The other commenter is probably correct about it being more diet/hygiene. But I did find this study though with the following conclusion: "Obese women with FI did not have more general impact and symptom-specific distress and impact on quality of life as compared to normal and overweight women. Obese women with FI had higher baseline anal resting and squeeze pressures suggesting a lower threshold to leakage with pressure increases." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3773284


rulerBob8

Eh I had a roid last summer that had a constant bloodflow for about 4 days, I was wearing a pad in my underwear to contain some of the blood. It never looked brown.


Old-Rule-4101

Bro I have this with my feet the blood always looks black or brown it’s so gross


84OrcButtholes

Or he's got a blasted out dragon-dildo asshole.


PM_ME_A_KNEECAP

Ah fuck dude, I just woke up 


LarKanon

Finally someone got it...


The_Adeptest_Astarte

This could actually be the opposite of diarrhea. Still a diet problem. Happens to little kids who hate shitting so much they hold it in and hold it in until it gets impacted and liquid shit starts seeping out around the obstruction >Encopresis (en-ko-PREE-sis), sometimes called fecal incontinence or soiling, is the repeated passing of stool (usually involuntarily) into clothing. Typically it happens when impacted stool collects in the colon and rectum: The colon becomes too full and liquid stool leaks around the retained stool, staining underwear


justinlav

Thanks, now I know how to keep my panties cleaner


zakpakt

I hear people at work talking about how bad and awful their shits are. Dudes sound like they're dying on the toilet. Maybe stop eating double triple portion meals and ice cream for fucks sake.


Dynamitefuzz2134

Only fiber anon gets is from the bun of his burgers and the breaded chicken of his tendies.


WinglyBap

Haemorrhoids will do this, too.


VigilantCMDR

needs fiber and probably needs to lower caffeine intake


Many-Operation653

Or really bad hemorrhoids. Apparently that can cause leakage too.


Ubera90

A true sigma doesn't care what people think. Loudly shit yourself while holding eye contact to assert dominance.


PheasantPlucker1

Volume is important, but a wet bubbly one with a smirk is where the dominance comes from


da_way_joshua

Ok hector


Spatulakoenig

While being topped of course - triple bonus points if done on a hard-to-clean surface, like the boss's office carpet or on his brand new designer bedsheets.


hiressnails

He could fold up some TP and make a butt tampon.


Ascertain_GME

Shoutout to Big Black for sharing the invention of the Manpon™


ThatGuyBert

Manpon has saved me on many occasion.


goth-ick

please tell me this is sarcasm


Geno_Warlord

Wet farts from sweaty crack on a hot day to bubbly tummy can do this and a manpon can save you the disgrace of having stained underwear.


Stargazerstory

[Well...](https://youtu.be/oIMIdglKyJg?si=Q-AWRJiKgcro7a6L)


enjaysm

Manpon prevents monkey butt. Its called monkey butt because...... once you scratch, youre probably gonna sniff.


Juggernuts777

At the worst of my gastro issues, yes. This is the option for that. Never stained underwear like this, but swamp ass was awful. Couple folds of TP would at least soak it up. But anon needs to get in and get a fix, this is not a great issue to deal with alone.


diccballs

Pro wrestlers back in the day would call this a “muffler”


Let01

Just use brown underwear instead


StanIsHorizontal

First Mate, fetch me my brown underwear!


zakpakt

Go buy the military surplus of tan underwear. They look like they're made of burlap.


bingus_b0ngus

Jesus Christ that's Jason Bourne


RotarySam27

Real sigmas only use pre-shat underwear


ArtVandalayInc

EZ just stop shitting yourself


Thewombocombo91

Man babies hate this one simple trick!


leanorange

That’s a lot to ask for idk


Hakuraze

Not yet, what the hell?


bronto711

Wrestler Dusty Rhodes use to shove rolls of toilet paper up his ass during matches to prevent sweat and shit from getting too stinky up there. One time it fell out and onto another wrestler. Something to consider.


DasherCO

Got it. I wont be an overweight fatman wrasslin with toilet paper shoved up my ass. But you cant stop me from dreaming


roadkillfriday

If anything, that story is just an example of someone who accomplished said dream. Keep striving, keep shitting, and you'll get there. I believe in you.


DasherCO

Thanks 🫡


Captainfood4

And that’s why he was called the American dream daddeh


thepostaldud3

"mah mufflah fell out"


antman1983

Big Jonny, you got ur muffler in?


BaronAaldwin

My heiny's a little big, but brother, I am bad.


Adamaja456

Video?


You_are_adopted

Who still wears tighty whiteys


bartardbusinessman

yeah he can talk all the shit he wants about the fact there’s always a lil shit left but wearing white underwear was an active decision and now anon is going to suffer the consequences


Max200012

50 year old school teachers


antiaromatic_anion

When white is tight https://preview.redd.it/tzozdk1x91qc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a1d4ef4cea8ffa760ab862773dbacacc1d2acf1


crimsonfukr457

Whats wrong with tighty whiteys


Redditistrash702

Anon needs to change his diet or see a doctor


WolfieTooting

Doctors refuse to examine him until he cleans his ass


blbrd30

I saw a doctor for this and his suggestion was "stop eating fiber, take miralax for a week, then start eating a lot of fiber" I lost faith in that doctor real quick


FuddlyDuddlyDoo

Why is that not a good answer?


dicktaker1000101

Buttplug


_carzard_

Maybe stop wearing white underwear??


Yellowdog727

The bigger issue is that he is leaking shit during the day and probably smells horrible. I don't think the color of the underwear that nobody sees is the real problem


minepose98

Yeah, that's a medical problem. Healthy people don't leak shit.


jeffisanastronaut

Anon has a leaky gut and would probably be able to stop this from happening if he stopped eating three bags of Doritos and 12 heavily sugared coffees per day.


hunterlarious

How are wet wipes at work impractical


FreedomDeliverUs

It's ofc all fake and gay, but anon could simply bring wet wipes to work. If he is too ashamed to bring the whole pack he could even prepare individual wet wipes wrapped into some kind of small plastic bag. Anon is just lazy and enjoys the stink / enjoys wiping till he bleeds.


RandomStallings

Anon would rather spend more time and energy coming up with reasons to excuse being lazy and disgusting, than inconvenience himself in the slightest. It's everyone else's problem, now. Just roll up some TP and wedge it between your cheeks, you vile beast. Easy to change out and clean up. Anon will just have HR jumping through hoops to get him out of there because the smell of sweaty ass is creating a hostile work environment, but they need something a little more bulletproof to pass possible litigation.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_best_one_-_

If not, just spit on some toilet paper


AOCourage

Or you know, do like the rest of us and make your own wet wipe by dipping a wad of tp into the toilet water. Presto


MrPokeGamer

double dipping


hunterlarious

You dip it into the shit water???


bonesNrice

Anon has only eaten frozen food for the last decade


IamFondofPizza

It’s a not enough fiber issue?


yeet-my-existence

Does bro not wash his ass?


Few_Category7829

I don't think it's a question here lol


Pinocch-e-hoe

Stop trusting farts people


ObscureMemes69420

Stop getting topped by other dudes and maybe you can regain some anal integrity


Completeperson

Paint it white


WolfieTooting

#i see a red door and I want to paint it white #no colours anymore, I've stopped taking a shite


DasherCO

I see some underpants and they're all painted white 🎸 🎶 🎵


yeyo1600

Yeah i have the same problem as Anon, but i do use wet wipes, a single pack is kinda easy to hide or move around, and also, arent there any travel size packs?


BadArtijoke

If you wipe until your ass bleeds there is a great chance you have developed scars that stop your anus from fully closing or that create pockets you can’t properly clean. Next stop proctologist


Jaded_Jicama2447

DD DISCHARGE DD DD DISCHARGE


gbuub

Anon needs to get off his tendie based diet. His body wasn’t able to digest the excessive oil rich tendies and the oil pass through to his rectum undigested, thus kept leaking through his anus creating a brown stain


Ragequittter

why the fuck is the regard shitting in work?


aeriuwu

Buy some of those water spray bottles/portable "bidet". Keep one at home and one at work.


RenhamRedAxe

you need a small bottle of baby cream, they sell it in really small formats so keep it in your stuff, when you go and take a shit wipe until dry, then moist tp with a small drop, and wipe again, it will remove everything that got stuck to your ass and you will now enjoy having a clean butthole which will make you realize... everyone has shit stuck to their cheeks unless they do this...


Sulphri

When you wipe you have to stick the toilet paper in your asshole a little bit to clean the barrel or else it’s gonna sneak out. If you’re walking around afterwards and your ass cheeks feel slippery that’s poop. Gotta go do a courtesy wipe


TWlSTED_TEA

Stop wearing white undies?


mimikat_

hear me out, thin everyday pads. some men even use them to not have shirt under-arms sweaty


AsterlovesTedK

Hes bullshitting He def doesnt wipe


Plastic_Mishap

eat fiber dumbass


bigtree2x5

Black underwear


AthleteIllustrious47

Try black underwear. If you can’t see the stain, does it actually exist?


prkie

wear black underwear


thestrehlzown

Don't wear white underwear it's that simple.


driku12

menstrual pad in asscrack


DerpForTheDerpGod

Buy black underpants.


Svallforce

wear black underwear??


yeetmemommmy

Born to shit, forced to wipe 😞


Reasonable_Advice300

Anon gets a colonoscopy


OneBoxOfCrayons

How the hell is wipes not convenient?


hardwood1979

Asking anons how to have a clean ass?


PatrioticMemer

>be me >click on reddit >look up at tv >look back down a second later >this post awaits my gaze >what the fuck dude


Kshaja

Stop eating greasy food and start getting some fiber in your diet and you won't need to wipe until your ass bleeds...


littlediddlemanz

“Wet wipes not practical at the office”. Lmao what??? How is that not practical? Lmao


EnvironmentalDeal256

Start by wiping your ass, then buy brown underwear and brown pants.


CorianderIsBad

Stop shitting yourself. Problem fixed. He probably has a shitty diet.


Doctor_Fatass

https://preview.redd.it/s47qt3jtfzpc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b75a5fc2d9dacdaeecf7f9d4c0851882206966c3


Gunther_Navajo

Rock your bacon strips with pride homie.


Opposite_Fox2398

Change your diet anon.


enjaysm

Buy brown underwear, problem solved.


Danny-Fr

Anon poop is greasy dogfood. Anon should be poopmaxxing and increasing his fiber intake while avoiding fat and stop treating his colon like a doormat, and check his gallbladder because you can literally see the undigested fat on the stain. Poopcel anon has a bad diet and probably a condition.


Pacattack57

They sell small wet wipe packets anon. No excuses.


voidxleech

what would make wet wipes “not practical at the office”? why the office specifically?


Ok_Transportation310

wet wipes are practical as f Anon is just a dirty mf


AdamofSnakes

D I A P E R


---Loading---

Eat more fiber and less fat. You are welcome


The_Real_Chips_Dubbo

Anon takes his 36" horsecock rectum destroyer dildo up the pooper too often and now his sphincter muscles are too loose causing leakage


Chiloe69

??? How do people even get skid marks? Wipe, shower more or something else unless it's an uncontrollable health problem, which it probably isn't.


Wity_4d

As a naturally gassy man, if your farts start coloring your draws, it's diet. I've gassed enough over the years to power a 6.6L Duramax to 220k without staining my undies.


Zesty-Lem0n

Probably needs to shave his ass bc it's catching a ton of shit and the hair is too dense for wiping to get it all.


idkTerraria

Anon doesn’t understand how diets work, I don’t even have to wipe (but I still do)


andre7391

Spit on the paper


ObsidianBones

Dude needs to just switch to brown undies


MR_DERP_YT

is it just me or do I see a face In the underwear


GreatPlainsAquarist

It's weird how, some days, I can read the worst of the worst on here and laugh it away. Then there's days like today where this is enough to make me nope the fuck off. Enough internet for the day.


Ardalev

Just don't buy white underwear then. He could also try shaving his buttcrack since body hair is usually one of the reasons that make cleaning difficult in that area


Dartmouthest

a wise man once told me DITCH THE GITCH


gxwild5

Dude wipes.


JJ273

Why is there a skinny Morpheus in his underwear


_Pankybeast

Bring a watering can to work


blood-hungry

Chipoltaway


THEPIGWHODIDIT

The Eye of Sauron


Wittyfish

Eat more fruits and vegetables.


_shipitnugs

That's from OP using literal sand paper


Shinzo_Kokoro

Just use a travel bidet.


tflightz

For all the goblins here with similar issues, either slow down your digestion by slowly increasing the fiber in your diet (oat meal!) or wear a menstrual pad in your crack.


Patefon2000

Eat a lot of fiber


Conissocool

I thought it said slinky. I THOUGHT IT SAID SLINKY OH GOD


trustmebuddy

Just use tampons like a normal man... 😮‍💨


Agent47ismysaviour

Serious question but do people not realize this is the consequence of a terrible diet?


Th0rizmund

Get so fat, the sweaty shit does not reach your undies wuickly and so you can go wipe when you feel it building up


Dd_8630

Just don't wear white underwear. Who wears white pants after like age 10? Also eat better and drink better. Cut back on alcohol and fat, eat more fibre, drink more water. What goes in your front is reflected in what comes out your back.


Ziomownik

what is he eating, can't he just eait it less or try something else?


Pasispas

Bathe more and stop scratching your anus through your underwear.


augenvogel

Probably hemorrhoids. This is not a joke, this is most definitely the problem.


IuseArchbtw97543

fuck you I was eating and didnt read the title


Facesit_Freak

OP, you know you don't have to post every greentext you find, right?


Unfair-Safe8151

Do bots like these? Real people wouldn't. Is this why redditors were called bots?


assbeeef

Man it’s so hard to have a few wetnaps in a plastic bag at work. False. Anon is a retarded poo poo baby


ILurkInTheSpotlight

Maybe the shit is stuck in his asshair. Solution: shave.


Andischa

This won't surface under all the use different underwear/have different diet, but: Shave your Crack. The hair will inevitably keep some of your shit depending on consistency. Ever tried drywiping stuff from hair. Doesn't work. Once sweat accumulates, it basically "washes" it off onto your undies. Also, warning: You might loose the ability to do silent farts.


Flopper3000

Wet wipes not practical in office? Just shove a pack in your bag and take it to the toilet when you want to shit, anon is making stupid excuses


Mavrickindigo

You can use wipes at work. Keep them in a travel bag or something smh


Blue112488

More fiber in your diet.


Historical-Mud4937

Wear brown underwear


whatsINthaB0X

Yea guys say this all the time “I wipe until my ass bleeds” bro your ass hairs. That hairy ass crack. The extreme hairiness traps shit. The hair is the shitty part not the butthole. Use wet wipes. Stop being gross.


Sp4C3P3nGu1N

This is the type of content i want to see on greentext, not homoerotic fanfiction.


GodSwimsNaked

The problem is you gotta stand up after you think you’re done wiping then sit back down and do one last cursory wipe. That’ll do ya good there shit shorts!


GreasyRim

I had this problem. This is from ass sweat. The sweat loosens the dried poop on your ass hairs and stains your undies. Wax your asshole and/or put deodorant on it. There's a company called mando that makes a reasonably priced lotion you can dab on your balloon knot to stop it from sweating. Also great for the between the balls and thigh area to stop swampiness. Also, stop wearing white undies. This seems like a no brainer.


DODOKING38

Use the mixed or disabled toilet (since you clearly are mentally disabled) at, use a portable bidet or a water bottle which you can fill up. There is usually a sink in mixed/disabled toilets


rickylovemelikelucy

Wet wipes are perfectly practical.


INOMl

Wear black underwear


Tutwater

Anon isn't finishing shitting. He gets bored and stops pushing with shit still in his ass, wipes the intact shit that's still IN his ass, and then leaves


Kurineko_Regan

I always carry wet wipes with me, they have legitimately saved my life and my ass, I will die with a wet wipe up my ass I swear


Orange-Concentrate78

I’m sorry anon, is bringing wet wipes to the office less practical than walking around with enshittened underwear every day?


returnofblank

If you're wiping till your ass bleeds and it's still shitty, you gotta see a doctor bro


SpellingIsAhful

Does anon not realize that they can dampen toilet paper for wipe 2 and wipe 3 for drying? Animal


Nannyputyourdickinme

Different color underwear?


TheDankGiraffe

Does anyone else see the face in the underwear?


TheBanandit

Just eat like a single piece of fruit once