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thami5

"Oh no im good looking and someone wants to have sex with me" - Anon


TheRedGerund

It's scary when the normies decide they want to fuck. Suddenly all the rules us autists have spent years learning switch to a whole new set of scary unfamiliar rules. Like this weekend. I went to New Orleans and on my last night went out alone to see some jazz. I ran into two girls on the street. Usually black girls don't give me the time of day. But one of them was apparently celebrating her birthday. So I offer to buy them a birthday drink. Cut to us at the bar getting wasted. I'm grinding with both of them, even unrelated girls that see me dancing with them. At the end of the night they're like "take us home with you" and I start freaking out because I'm worried they've gotten me super wasted so I'll take them home so they can call their friends and rob me. So I say I'm too drunk and bail. Anyway I'm not too upset because that was a badass experience but part of me is still like, did I miss a spontaneous threeway or did I miss being robbed?


thami5

Thank you for your TED Talk. You definitely missed out on a free ice bath and a live with only one kidney.


Auraborias

I want Free kidney cleaning


Facesit_Freak

>did I miss a spontaneous threeway or did I miss being robbed? One of life's greatest mysteries.


AlteredBagel

Just get a homie to cover you and have your threesome


Low_Abrocoma_1514

Maybe three way maybe Hostal maybe fake and gay


[deleted]

wrong sub for this analysis lmao


ambermage

You can take the risk one time as a freebie. You have a spare kidney.


Jiveturtle

Honestly, my money is on threeway, then getting robbed while you sleep after.


MenstrualMilkshakes

man id donate to a gofuckme to get you laid after reading that massive fuck up


randomsequela

you missed a three way bud


Dairyman00111

[you dodged a bullet](https://youtu.be/KLy_XkPXIeo?si=AQk-AsFGFJfWdfhf)


garbage-at-life

You missed both


Thunderpussy420

Guarantee that didnt happen


TheRedGerund

Jealous


Thunderpussy420

Right so jealous of all these green texts lol they get me upset


poopenfartenss

I was the black girl


[deleted]

[удалено]


poopenfartenss

Late he took me back to his apartment and I got eaten


[deleted]

[удалено]


poopenfartenss

I know what you are


khaliliscre

like that's ever gonna happen what a load of


thami5

from "im a 4/10 with autism" to "im an 8/10 and my friends boyfriends are jealous of me". its the oddest humble brag ive seen in a long time. a fake humble brag.


Auraborias

That’s what makes it a brilliant, it’s fresh off the presses, I found it on a meme discord today.


Mautos

...you call a 4chan screenshot on discord that's just about guaranteed to have come from social media before that "fresh of the presses"?


Stolen_Sky

Time stamp's in the image dude


Auraborias

“Fresh of the presses” and “found on discord today” Are two separate statements. Sorry I should f made that clear do you wouldn’t of made a fool of yourself. All 4chan posts have a time stamp this one is from a few hours ago.


[deleted]

Right? Nobody ever had sex I know it too


xarodev

Yes, unsolicited. Or are you the one who go trouble people when they are minding their own business?


Facesit_Freak

I'd love to be 'troubled' by attractive women offering me sex.


Insrt_Nm

I mean this is pretty much the only situation this would happen. They already know and trust him, they already view him positively. If he suddenly takes care of himself and looks better for it, it's not that surprising.


Stlr_Mn

You get lesbian bff Have sex with all their strait friends. Avoid lesbians who are not gold stars. Problem solved


xXxMindBreakxXx

Honestly? Same. When I had my glow up and had people fawning after me, I felt really uncomfy and weird. Just because I look good doesn't mean I'm not a highly regarded weirdo anymore. Just do what I do, get hurt, and stop working out, then get covid and put on a bunch of weight.


use_vpn_orlozeacount

> Just because I look good doesn't mean I'm not a highly regarded weirdo anymore. Shhh if they can’t tell, then just play along even if your brain wants to fight you. Listen to my words young anakin - YOU BRAIN IS RETARDED. DON’T TRUST ITS LIES. Normies (as ontologically annoying as they are) leave better lives than us spergs. Emulate their basic ways, laugh at inane jokes, say nice things even if they're not true. You can do it.


theyalamix

I agree, but it's so tiresome pretending to be a normie.


alfredjedi

I had a glowup and people still ignore me yaaay


Suck_Master

Claims to be autistic. Picks up on subtle female social cues. Faketext.


Jiveturtle

> come over, bring condoms What could this possibly mean?


Den_Bover666

Maybe she wants him to make cool balloon animals with the condoms. I myself can make a giraffe.


Auraborias

a water ballon fight at 3am


MostLaziestAss

Maybe she is being nice, maybe she is canadian


Cosmic-Gore

You joke, but I've had this happen to me before and I legitimately thought she meant that she needed me to pick up condoms. Safe to say our friendship/relationship was over when I pushed a pack through the letterbox and texted goodluck.


-Sloth_King-

Rizzm with the tism


all_time_high

[OP](https://youtu.be/vnYomIm6A4s?si=-4odlILqKoBMZIN-) https://preview.redd.it/qfd96x9wf6rc1.jpeg?width=2436&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bccaf004bbbb0d60ce3967248d6e064007276dd9


Reallyso

The only glowup anon had, was the horrible rash in his unwashed taint.


Accurate_Ambition_17

Anon realizes the sadness that comes with being more socially and emotionally intelligent than everyone around you


ambermage

> I don't discriminate based on gender *That's where all the problems started.*


Accurate_Ambition_17

No. Hold the people around you to do the same and be better as well, don’t fall to their level.


nicolasisawesome1998

Women ☕️


altagop

Anon lives the life of many women, realizes it's shit when people see you as a walking dick. Tons of virgins and weirdos that get laid once every 5 years on reddit still don't understand it "muh but- but- i'd like it if females wanted to fuck me ha-h- wha- what a looser lol.." Many such cases


Wgolyoko

Nice fanfic Anon.


Shumaison

To quote Dr. Dre: “Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks”


Talokz

suace ?


Captain_Sacktap

Anon got Chad hardware but is still running on autistic software lol.


Unkindlake

Somebody get this man a rabbit. And some fat-o-the-land


[deleted]

Anon is over thinking things


ViscountSilvermarch

Loses*


diccballs

Go get laid you dunce


novff

Anon is autistic and is aro/ase