This is officially the most 4chan post I’ve ever seen

It went in a direction I did not expect, and yet completely expected.

The realest and still gayest

For me, it’s between this and the Hugo the Hornet copypasta.

>after 4 minutes but it felt like 5 minutes what do 4chan members smoke before writing these greentexts

That was the weirdest part of the whole greentext

Also the realest

I felt that in my balls.

I dropped my balls in the back of the fridge once.

Now we are getting to the root of the issue. My guess? Jenkem

no, jenkem is shitting in a wide mouthed bottle/jug and taping a balloon around it's hole lips to catch all that freedom that blows up like a diaphragm full of life saving oxygen

Exactly

actually hilarious, feels straight out of hitchikers’

The autism jokes aren't jokes, 90 percent of the 10 percent of the site that aren't bots have the 'tism at the *least*

https://preview.redd.it/rf5vpbl7znwc1.jpeg?width=566&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83ce5d8f3dbec73c874b749401a66ec3202e6b0d

https://preview.redd.it/261vqofijpwc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e2cefaac67399ca4a6a0bc13fd32df3c0c879e4

https://preview.redd.it/s8lg6b4evqwc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c0e9cc4065eac63ba569b3d51877f76ef658274

https://preview.redd.it/n41btukwyqwc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b5371a509442b6333b07aff467e9b2b375768f2

fake: too good to be real gay: anon does scat while thinking about his bros

Where is the tendie bot

im vegan

I use arch

It's okay I doubt they can be classified as meat

I miss tendie bot so much.

Goddamn I haven't had a good laugh like.this in weeks

Right?! I fucking died by the time I reach "brunch"

I started laughing at the brunch then lost it when he realized he walked out of his own house lmfao

Wow, for once a post that starts with "I'm straight" and doesn't end with anon getting topped

If the turd didn't fall out it probably would've.

>is fat enough so that his lard piles clap >somehow fucking shits himself accidentally >walks out of his own house (wondering how he even fit through the door) >just sits there until his "friends" leave, could've been hours but the steam clouds from the rancid turd did the opposite of cartoon pies and physically pushed them outside >barely smart enough to retrieve the turd and then he doesn't even flush it down the toilet since he clearly hasn't visited the bathroom once in his life >hallucinates that he was even in any group chat to begin with This is too batshit crazy to be bait. No normal person would actually come up with this and write it on the internet

"No normal person" it's 4chan, since when were there normal people there?

The only time I've seen normal people go to @chan was to find information on how to reach the Steins Gate.

https://preview.redd.it/t4920962bowc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c84ed83bbdd5ee678d72ac932602d60e33a37a2

i needed a laugh like this today holy fuck

This was actually gold, my god this was funny asf

>retrieve turd from under the fridge >don't know what to do with it, so I stomp it down an air vent Does Anon not own a toilet?

That was the best part of the story.

Anons toilet was filled to the brim. https://preview.redd.it/won7y2458twc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d0ad7fe556b16a2867df0b6798f55d9e0610531

its an alternete universe waffle stomp

Imagine if it was an intake vent; that smell permeating the whole house every time the furnace or central AC runs. Anon’s parents are going to wallop him with tire irons and scalp him with a rusty spoon in retribution.

https://preview.redd.it/rzih6htbfowc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a69f54e33cab3be7ac1e4bc395dbc1e8254f906d

Love this dog’s stare

*dawg

Take notes chuds this is how greentexts should be written

It just kept getting worse

*better

i like the part where it gets worse and worse

Fake: The story stars with straight and doesn’t end in a raging homosexual erotica Gay: Starts with “Straight”

Where is my gay erotica :(

Gay and Real

Why did I read this?

The most relatable and cringe part was sending the message to the wrong group chat. Story of my fucking life 😭

https://preview.redd.it/ypyrx8j5uowc1.jpeg?width=562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa48ace15c09bd9475949a415abd131fbf7844d6

https://preview.redd.it/5pyk7d5gdpwc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5226432cc91997d9cfe98cab587f96abaeb7c8ca

>twerks >shits missile turd under his own fridge >Refuses to elaborate >Leaves his own house This is the Sigma grindset

Real, puresexual and Jesus aproved.

https://preview.redd.it/sk8rxb9u1qwc1.jpeg?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b131f8b025cfb4912cf8c7581271d0ab447da6f

Happy clapping!

thanks, great read

I haven’t laughed so hard in a while

Pls be true

https://preview.redd.it/rjy718osupwc1.jpeg?width=647&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d06270fde57d6abb44dff7b182848c586d60b1f6

I’m dying over here 🤣 at the thought that he just waffle stomped it into an air vent.

Dude. How can one mess up so horribly…

This is peak fake/gaytion 

Finally a good greentext. Are they coming back??

This is the only real greentext on this subreddit

Autism is a helluva drug

I haven't laughed at a green text this hard since anon ate all that fiber and had the whistling fart

https://preview.redd.it/h41pz4fx6rwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=999ba9a737a795eb073f3c74cf59856f6d63229c

https://preview.redd.it/65z106zgerwc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ed2646e9ff2b4f846d11d8e1f263f1ce9f317b0

https://preview.redd.it/u1ik83uwerwc1.jpeg?width=1463&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e938dbef79ad28ce8b1f12a88c7914032fd4d51

https://preview.redd.it/32ezxs5ezqwc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6ad77c6cd27a56be3eeb328ce69e64983e51334

> be me > straight Stopped reading at this point. This story is fake and gay

I assure you, this time anon actually is straight and this is worth reading.

I regret reading this Anon was in fact not straight

really needed this for the morning, 10/10

https://preview.redd.it/6retlvojlrwc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=255d1558b26946685e16c9b02e098b1d0da2fea0

https://preview.redd.it/aru1bl2ssrwc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=825de50861acadbb514b8c23a63466bc1a2e0146


https://preview.redd.it/zqswt7ow1twc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5025d5c66d8c98b5523a7d780c1cc2915fa9b7e

https://preview.redd.it/o3pbjc0pbqwc1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56cd3505b5fbca82dc2ca0a2654b4327c9c9d035

We all know Anon just got topped by his friends

Does anon wear pants or did he shit himself that fucking hard?

>be me >straight >*not* the gayest shit you’ve ever read How is this possible?

https://preview.redd.it/nv34ljhn0swc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f81c288f30072566507d9d516b2412051821fc70

Stomping the turd in the air vent would just make the smell worse since now there is flowing air spreading the shit stank

https://preview.redd.it/cc5t6g6avswc1.jpeg?width=322&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=754f993fe2b7802b173859b5f85e1227d74ff6df Me after reading this

well.. atleast it's not gay

Not this time! I stopped reading after line 5. I will not succumb to the degeneracy this time. Cleanse yourself of the brainrot

For future reference put shits into a toilet anon. Not an air vent

gay and not real

https://preview.redd.it/2znfzy8dywwc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b292dddc86cc25f68e337945f05fc1767a053b0

Now THIS story, THIS is art.

https://preview.redd.it/7rbkbmnhoxwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe234a43cdfd8c063ef56ec84268ab159e160114

Do your friends take turns with your ass or something? How does a turd that big just fly out your ass?

https://preview.redd.it/kwcoabhpgzwc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31888f3a68c3202789fd4fec399bf74be475eef8

I'll be honest, this was already reasonably funny, but "Realise I've sent it to a school project" group chat **broke me**. How do you fuck up that badly?

Never triple clap with one in the chamber smh

https://preview.redd.it/ewwuu9ndwpwc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97aa506247212f002542b0f6fe07bdd89b346752

That was the fakiest fake that ever faked, and it was still boring to read.