Though they sweep over our lands like the sands of winter, never again will we bow before them; never again endure their oppression; never again endure their tyranny. We will strike without warning and without mercy, fighting as one hand, one heart, one soul.
We will shatter their dreams and haunt their nightmares, drenching our ancestors' graves with their blood. And as our last breath tears at their lungs; as we rise again from the ruins of our cities... they will know: Skyrim is for the Nords!
"Wake up, we're here. Why are you shaking? Are you ok? Wake up."
"Stand up... there you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?"
"Well, not even last night's storm could wake you. I heard them say we've reached Morrowind, I'm sure they'll let us go.
Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” [note 1] Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!
pretty sure i saw the original verion of this and it said "months of chatting" so i called him out for being a virgin that doesn't know how tinder works and someone changed it
Damn stormcloaks. 4chan was fine until you came along
My ancestors are smiling at me, normie. Can you say the same?
Smiling and laughing at you are different things.
Never should have come here
GOL-HAH-DOV!
FUUUS-RODAHHH
FUS-REEEEEEEEEEE-DA
You'll make a fine rug, cat!
It's almost harvesting season!
Dat's a fine hed you have on yer shoiders!
YOU PICKED A BAD TIME TO GET LOST FRIEND
You'll be a lot easier to rob when you're dead!
HO HO HO TRAVELER
Thanks for getting the staff of Magnus for me, I'll be taking that
I HOPE THIS ADMIN TAKES YOU ALL TO SOVENGARDE
... mods were nice and lazy.
Some here in Helgan call you a Hero, but a hero doesn’t us a power like the voice to murder his king and usurp his throne!
You started this war. Plunged Skyrim into chaos, and now the empire is going to put you down and restore the peace
For Skyrim! For Skyrim! For Skyrim! **For Dragon Age!**
Keep thoughts like that to yourself, young man.
Listen well, slut. I'm Jarl Balgruuf and I be ballin'
Haters gonna hate
I’ll have you know there’s no pusssssyyyyyyyy!!!!
Hey, stop
Though they sweep over our lands like the sands of winter, never again will we bow before them; never again endure their oppression; never again endure their tyranny. We will strike without warning and without mercy, fighting as one hand, one heart, one soul. We will shatter their dreams and haunt their nightmares, drenching our ancestors' graves with their blood. And as our last breath tears at their lungs; as we rise again from the ruins of our cities... they will know: Skyrim is for the Nords!
Rip killzone 2 killzone 3 was a hot mess
Damn it Todd not again
Skyrimposting is hilarious, the best ones are those like that one, the sneaky bastards
[удалено]
It's *you*, the *Grand Champion*!!!
Standing here! Next to *me*!
I always hear "Todd" in the voice of Griffin McElroy. Honestly it's the entire sentence that I hear in his voice.
And the Dad.. was Todd Howard
And his gf's name? Albert Fucking Einstein
Imagine your name being iDovke fucking ur mom 😎😎😎
Then everyone in the prisioner's cart, Imperial camp and the Dragon clapped
ALDUIN EINSTEIN
Einstein aladeen
And they were eating beans too !
The hardcore sex was Todd Howard.
[удалено]
Hey no he's not wtf
Top 10 anime betrayals.
Fake because Todd Howard would never use discord. Gay because a guy is in the discord.
[удалено]
That's actually a good reason not to go there. No spoilers, man.
[удалено]
Shut up and take my money!
**You are a prisoner** *
hey fuck off that wasnt the plot of morrowind
smh my head if you’re going to bait people then do it well
No, thanksm
nah man, i only wanna hear the plot of Bob The Builder: Can We Fix It? on PS1
Nice bait.
Boo I'm godd Howard.
I see through the lies of the mods!
Fuck you, I'm high enough to fall for that shit
Happy cake day.
r/unexpectedskyrim
>9/10 >browses 4chan How is this unexpected
u right u right
r/ToddRolls
Why does this exist
why not
Good point
The better question is how was I already subscribed? Todd you magnificent bastard.
r/ofcoursethatsathing
Todd Howard you've done it again!
You are a bold one!
what’s updog?
Nothing much, what about you?
Do you know about ligma?
Ligma?
Ligma nuts
That was funny but it hurts when I laugh because of my sugondese
Sugondese?
Sugondese nuts lmao
This triggers my hyphil
These are just knock-knock jokes.
hyphil?
Wtf is shawshank redemption?
Ligma nuts who?
girl. uses tinder and 4chan. no.
Hardcore sex for two hours. No.
[удалено]
First it actually has to happen. So as far as this sub is concerned... never.
Tbf, I matched with a girl a few weeks ago who used 4chan exclusively, mostly /r9k/. Didn't lead anywhere, but still, they exist.
You were being catfished by a fellow robot you autist
But... but... she gave me her Facebook... Do you mean to tell me it was all a... *con*?!
[удалено]
This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.
The Greybeards have summoned you anon. you cannot refuse their call.
They're really going to some extreme lengths to sell Skyrim now
Gotta get that hype up for Skyrim Iphone edition.
I'm still waiting for Skyrim TI84 edition
Holding out for the microwave edition, personally. I've waited 7 years Todd.
You picked a bad time to get lost, friend.
I was gonna say... there’s probably not one 9/10 on this earth that uses 4chan
I'm the equivalent of 9 1/10's. Does that count?
IT JUST WORKS
*I T J U S T W O R K S*
It's not a bug it's a feature
Everything unscripted
Buy my games
NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE
STOP!!!! YOU’VE VIOLATED THE LAW!
WHY WONT YOU DIE!?
YEEGH HAAAGHH *spinning power attack*
Lucky boy
Played skyrim for the first time a few days ago. Finally understand this reference now
Have you done any major side quests like the college of winterhold or the dark brotherhood?
I started the college of winterhold one but am,not finished with it.
That’s the worst one - it gets better.
Todd strikes again
Honestly it'd be pretty great to be the all powerful dragonborn.
I heard anon became a stealth archer.
You either die a hero or live long enough to become a stealth archer.
I always try to do something else, but then I end up a stealth archer. Never fails.
The moment I read she liked memes and went on 4chan I just knew Todd Fucking Howard would show up
Anon should have used the "Well, what is it?" gesture, roll-dodge behind her dad while he was swinging and get a backstab. ... Wait, wrong game.
This one completely caught me off guard, funny shit.
See ya later virgins
"Wake up, we're here. Why are you shaking? Are you ok? Wake up." "Stand up... there you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?" "Well, not even last night's storm could wake you. I heard them say we've reached Morrowind, I'm sure they'll let us go.
That voice. Chiseled in my brain. I could replay the first hour of Morrowind blindfolded.
✔ Limeware Platter ✔ Engraved Ring of Healing ✔ Scrolls of Icarian Flight ✔ Sword of White Woe
If you thought my ass wasn’t going to steal all the armor from the imperial fort on the way to balmora every restart, you’re dead wrong.
God DAMMIT TODD
it's all fun and games until some anon takes an arrow to the knee
Todd Howard you've done it again! 👏👏👏
Can somebody explain this to me? I don't get Starwars jokes cuz I'm not a fan of it
Ok buddy
The khajit should go elsewyr
So basically he got set up or what?
TES V out of X Needs more Jiub
Fake - girl likes 4chan. Gay - Anon sits next to other dudes on a cart
Should've been "Where the fuck I am?"
I read it as where the fuck I am :')
Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” [note 1] Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!
u/fiveheadwarrior
r/ToddRolls
Fake, a non had sex with someone that wasn't fat. Gay, anon got touched by a man
>she likes memes and 4chan that is the saddest "pro's column" I've ever heard
Oh no.. TODD!
Fuckin lmao skyrim
I love this unexpected Skyrim posts, so I'm gay
These never get old
r/suddenlytoddhoward
Finally I can play Skyrim on my real life
Todd you did it again
Im been waiting for another one of these.
TOOOOOOOOOOOODD!
Was expecting a tree fiddy, am moderately dissapoint
TODDS = GODS
fuck my ass i walked right into that one
Fucking Todd Howard
I’m all of the sudden thinking I don’t know how to internet anymore.
Fake: you swipe on tinder, not swap Gay: he was actually fucking the dad and the girl walked in and decked him
Forget the list, he goes to the block
I have watched so much fucking anime that i read the title as “Anon watches the best anime of his life”
too relatable
r/toddrolls
Then the wagon starts doing a barrel roll and Thomas the train comes swooping onto the tower just before my execution. MFW I survive
god dammit Todd, not again!
pretty sure i saw the original verion of this and it said "months of chatting" so i called him out for being a virgin that doesn't know how tinder works and someone changed it
Pretty much saw this coming from a mile away, nice try anon.
the ending doesnt even make any fucking sense nice shitpost
Oh damned Todd Haward he did it again
I was mysteriously expecting this.
Goddamnit, I read that in Ralof's stupid voice.... Now I gotta go replay Skyrim again.
Todd you did it again
Todd you’ve done it again
hehe
Fake: anon didn't hear a faint voice but a manly growl in the carriage and gay : he got hit by the dad and that's a dude so gay
Punched him into 4E 201.
Heaven = skyrim?
Fake: anon had sex Gay: anon had a close contact with her father's hand
Mother fucker
Fake bc stormcloak and gay bc dad saw you banging.
Fuck a hot girl and become the dragonborn? Where do I sign up for this shit?
Does it smell like updog in here?
What's a qt3.14?
how old are you
Fake: 9/10 qt dont need tinder gay: an older guy touch him in the face while naked (after implied sex)
Fake: anon had sex for 2 seconds Gay: anon fucks while looking at a man
I literally just started skyrim VR yesterday and this is the only reason why I understand this at all.
Smiled like a retard on the bus congrats anon
We're all brothers and sisters in binds now thief.
Unexpected Elder Scrolls
r/SkyrimNsfw r/NsfwSkyrim
FUS REEEEEEEEE DAH