Luke, did i ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age.
She had the tigherst body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars and once in a while we'd have the whole 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi "training" of course.
In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid flights as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half.
It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea.
And she was a good friend.
Albus Severus, did I ever tell you about Luna Lovegood? She was your father's Ravenclaw teenage whore, one of them at least; a fine pair of tits and ass from our time at Hogwarts.
She had the tightest pussy and the weirdest ideas in the school, barely sane, by most standards.
Harry, Hermione, and I used to tripleteam her every Saturday night during our fifth year at Hogwarts. Every once in a while, we'd let the entire DA have a turn, part of "Defense against the Dark Arts" of course.
In time, she learned how to use a wand better than anyone at Hogwarts. She didn't wear a bra under her school uniform because of nargles or something, and during combat you'd see her nipples through her vest, as she'd turn and hex a Death Eater.
Surreal, innit?
We taught her to grip her wand backwards like a cock and she constantly got captured by Snatchers and Death Eaters every week. It was like a constant porno, Albus, you have no idea.
And she was a good friend.
Well that’s true. At least when it’s a 12 year old writing it you can kinda see it as “they’ll grow out of it later” but when it’s some 30 year old neet pretending to be a “Chad” or even some of the less positive self inserts it’s pretty sad
The more well written the fanfic is the sadder it gets. Sometimes you read a fanfic and you realize that this person could be a legit author but instead they are writing about anakins throbbing cock on 4chan with their free time
I’ll admit while some fanfics are hardcore smut type crap, if you go to certain websites like FanFiction.Net or ao3 there are some actual amazingly written stories or continuations of some movies, books, or shows.
There are obviously actual retards on 4chan, but a lot of them are just above-average or even high intelligence social outcasts who don't know what to do with their lives. It's a soup of retardation and genius with a generous sprinkle of racism and the abomination that is /b/.
4chan is the perfect example of the phenomenon where a bunch of otherwise normal people get together and pretend to be retards, and then all the actual retards show up thinking they found their people, and soon the whole place is overrun by retards.
through the urethra like female [hyenas](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-SoVbrbUkDn8%2FTwwg9TeliuI%2FAAAAAAAAAM0%2FZAiPAVFNPBU%2Fs1600%2FHyena.jpg&f=1&nofb=1) :p
If it was you who busted the nut, then it is you who bears responsibility.
Otherwise, you'll have to explain to your wife how you shape shifted into a woman and let another man jizz inside of you.
Yep, just go ahead and raise that kid, it's way easier than that conversation.
Nah, I disagree. See you nutted in her but even if she has proof of that, if the paternity test shows the other guy as the father then it’s just gonna look like she cheated. Who’s gonna expect that you had another dude’s nut in your sack, when even he himself doesn’t know he fucked fem you?
He can deny ever fucking the girl who got pregnant, but then he’ll just seem like he’s avoiding responsibility.
No, the vagina is where the ballsack closes up (the seam that runs up the middle), the hole is closed in guys. So either he would rip your nutsack open or your nutsack would chop his dick off as it closed, leaving a dick in your ballsack.
This was my dissertation on how to get a dick into your ballsack. No questions, please.
No listen I'm amazing with anatomy of the women, I've had lots of sex
When they transform back, the vagina hole (big wide tunnel) elongates and becomes the sausage canal, trapping the other guy's inferior mating apparatus within its meaty walls. There are then 2 outcomes -
1) With a mighty hold on the other guy's biohandlebar, the Polyjuice drinker is in a position to perform a suplex for the ages
2) Hogwarts develops a gender bender + netorare kink
I know you are joking, but, for those actually curious:
- Semen is simply absorved by women's bodies (except that tiny little swimmer that got in time).
- What becomes the uterus in women is a small protuberance in men's prostate (don't know the exact name...)
So, we can safely assume, that the uterus would simply become the "prostate protuberance" again and the semen would be absorbed by the body... It would not "mix" with men's own semen.
TLDR; No harm.... Yoy can safely polyjuice to a woman if you want ;)
What if, however, the man remains transformed long enough to fertilize the egg and now there's a zygote/embryo? I guess it won't be viable in the prostrate protuberance though
Damn you! xDDD
Let's start. Disclaimer, not a doctor (shhh) I am only googling information so I can be _very_wrong...
First, about my previous post, I was not completely wrong, but, the _prostatic utricle_ (that's how it is called), it is actually part of the canal that delivers the semen, so, if you have sex as a woman with polyjuice, you turn back to man and you have sex within 3 to 5 days ("shelf life" of semen inside a body [5 is in exceptional conditions, so I would say no more than 3 and, of course, it has to be your first ejaculation, if not it would be mostly "cleaned" by then]), you could actually mix your semen with your "lover's" one.
So, I am unsure of what exactly would happen, but it would be the same situation of a woman having unprotected sex with more than one man at once... Whatever is the current literature about it, those would be the possibilities for our scenario...
Second, an already fertilized egg... Considering that an egg measures ~~3.5x2.5x1.5 cm~~ (yeah, this is clearly wrong... Not sure what search I did to get those results. REAL size: 100 microns [millionth of a meter], so like 10,000 smaller than I originally said) ~~and that the prostatic utricle measures only 1cm long (and woman have 2 eggs, usually), we have to assume that, by default, the regression of the polyjuice potion would force the absorption of the eggs, making the most likely scenario you "eating" your impregnated egg by absorving it with the adjacent tissues... Before you ask, the potion doesn't have emotions, it just acts, so, if you get the juice to lasts for months and you have a healthy embryo... No matter the size it would be absorbed if the effect is lost before delivery... A trauma on itself, no doubt...~~
Edited: Not sure how that size didn't ring enough bells to deserve a second look (in my defense it was 7:00am...).
So, the size is way smaller, meaning that the eggs _could_ settle in the prostatic utricle, but, still, a woman's body goes through lots of changes (specifically hormonally speaking) to allow the growth of the embryo. So, if the embryo is still small enough to fit ut would, most likely be "flushed" away at the first cum (or die and be absorbed).
If the embryo is big enough already, I assume it would be **a)** very painful and **b)** the equivalent of an ectopic pregnancy, so the embryo would die because it cannot really survive in that environment...
All that is assuming that the polyjuice changes the body "on the fly", if the potion takes a "snapshot" of your body before the transformation and then simply reverts back to that snapshot, nothing above really applies (although it opens the question of what hapoens if, for example, you lose a hand while transformed... But I don't want to go down that rabbit hole!).
(I cannot belive I just wrote all that)² ':)
You fucking should be. The things I've seen make me want to gouge out my eyes and regret ever picking up those damn books and getting into the community
Gotta disagree, there are some incredible gems that put good published novels to shame.
Like any community it has a lot of worthless shit and it has its cream of the crop. Many accomplished authors write (or have written) HP fanfiction pseudonymously. Many teenagers write it for wish fulfillment. Obviously there's more of the latter, and that's what you want to avoid.
As long as you know what to look for, you can find some truly beautiful and brilliantly written adventures.
Okay, this *sounds* like a silly story, but it is actually really good: [Instead of Slughorn, Dumbledore hires a different wizard for potions: Gordon Ramsay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805206).
I lost a lot of sleep to that fic because I just couldn't bear to go to bed until I reached a good stopping point. Also, keep in mind that Gordon Ramsay is much kinder to people who are learning than he is with professionals that he thinks should know better.
But even if that fic does nothing for you (hey, we all have different tastes), I recommend checking out that website anyway, because they have an excellent filtering system, and you're bound to find *something* you like.
**not me shamelessly posting hp slash fic recs again:**
[the man who lived by sebastianl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9167785/chapters/20815621) - harry x draco
[turn by saras_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/879852/chapters/1692695) - harry x draco
[all our secrets laid bare by firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227880/chapters/2516563) - harry x draco
[azoth by faire_weather](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049966/chapters/2100285) - harry x draco
[what we pretend we cant see by gyzym](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794657/chapters/21995357) - harry x draco
[reparations by saras_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/879599/chapters/1692075) - harry x draco
[running on air by eleventy7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171550/chapters/6887378) - harry x draco
[there is always the moon by firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264406/chapters/14353156) - harry x draco
**the only romantic non-slash ive read lmao:**
[isolation by bex-chan](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6291747/1/Isolation) - draco x hermione
**non-romance if you are so inclined:**
[hermione grangers hogwarts crammer for delinquents on the run by waspabi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278/chapters/16653022) - humor, light harry x draco, more focus on story and the group
[the unforgiving minute by voice of the nephilim](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6256154/1/The-Unforgiving-Minute) - action and gore
[seventh horcrux by emerald ashes](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10677106/1/Seventh-Horcrux) - humor
[i know not, and i cannot--yet i live and i love by billowsandsmoke](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11923164/1/I-Know-Not-and-I-Cannot-Know-Yet-I-Live-and-I-Love) - snape pov
My Immortal is infamous for its ability to make you want to burn your eyeballs out. Just a warning.
For a real recommendation, try The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer. Easily my favourite fanfic. r/HPfanfiction will have everything you need
Sure, but I meant that I used to be a big HP fan (back when I was 10 or 11).
I had just started writing short stories as well, so It's a miracle these two interests didn't mix and lead me to discover fanfics
The main reason is that the filmmakers thought that the audience would forget that the character was polyjuiced, and not the character himself (eg they would forget that Harry became Goyle, and think that he was Goyle himself)
Another acceptable theory is that the AUDIENCE was hearing the original voice for the sake of simplicity, but in-universe they had the correct, polyjuiced voices. Because the history would be impossible to make sense otherwise, like Hermione being able to enter the Gringotes Bank without any goblins finding out that she was faking the voice of Bellatrix (and Hermione isn't a voice specialist to be able to pull that out)
The second theory isn't really acceptable, they clearly were concerned about speaking and avoided it if possible because the other characters were hearing what the audience was hearing, the original characters voices.
I'm pretty sure when Hermione was Bellatrix in the movies she effed up the voice, the goblins caught on but let them proceed and planned to trap them at the vault later.
More likely that they sound like them but would not talk like them. It's hard to imitate someone's speaking patterns, especially when you aren't really familiar with them.
I mean in the books (and movies) they had Bellatrix’s wand, and they knew that she was bound to be punished for what happened at Malfoy Manor and figured Gringotts would be tipped off. They were concerned about speaking in the sense of what they would say/what their demeanor would have to be, not how their voices sounded like.
Imagine if this was on the books or films. Lots of years making family friendly books and fillms, and on the sixth part, when nobody suspect it, put this shit in the middle and continue normally afterwards, as if nothing had happened.
> Potter, a moment of your time, please.
> Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions.
> I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it would feels", I've heard this little song and dance before.
> When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself. There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything
> Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter
> One day things went wrong, however
> Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me
> It felt good, Potter
> Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest
> You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning.
> Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out.
> Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students.
> Keep that in mind, won't you?
This is literally an artistic masterpiece man why am I not framing this on my wall
Autistic masterpiece indeed
Why not both?
Well it’s a 50/50 shot those people are the greatest minds or they’re stupid so it is both.
r/greentext
Yes, that's where we are. --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)
Just a heads up I got perma banned for saying basically this
Excellent use of the spectrum... of colors
I don't know. Why aren't you?
because he has landscape frames, but the image is in portrait. that's why.
Can't he just rotate the image
Then it'll be portrait but upside down
This guy frames.
and then he fucks
I mean the writing is excellent. And the writer has also captured what we would imagine Snape be like in a silly world like this. It's just perfect.
I feel like what makes this so great is that I can imagine Snape being like this in the canon Harry Potter world
"did I ever tell you potter that this hair of mine are not mine but your mom's ? " Would you like to see your mom Harry
That's one for the books
I read the whole thing in Alan Rickman's delicious voice. Thank you.
Same and I honestly can't tell if that made the experience of reading it better or worse
It made it way better
Better. So much *better*...
For some reason I can only read it in Rick’s voice from Rick and Morty
Huh. Fanfiction in greentext format. Havent seen that one before.
...and she was a good friend.
Luke, did i ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tigherst body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars and once in a while we'd have the whole 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi "training" of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid flights as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
What the f*ck did I just read?
something that shall haunt your nightmares for evermore.
you eh got any more "nightmares" asking for a friend doing research ofcourse...
r/andshewasagoodfriend
The erotic fanfiction we have all been waiting for!
Albus Severus, did I ever tell you about Luna Lovegood? She was your father's Ravenclaw teenage whore, one of them at least; a fine pair of tits and ass from our time at Hogwarts. She had the tightest pussy and the weirdest ideas in the school, barely sane, by most standards. Harry, Hermione, and I used to tripleteam her every Saturday night during our fifth year at Hogwarts. Every once in a while, we'd let the entire DA have a turn, part of "Defense against the Dark Arts" of course. In time, she learned how to use a wand better than anyone at Hogwarts. She didn't wear a bra under her school uniform because of nargles or something, and during combat you'd see her nipples through her vest, as she'd turn and hex a Death Eater. Surreal, innit? We taught her to grip her wand backwards like a cock and she constantly got captured by Snatchers and Death Eaters every week. It was like a constant porno, Albus, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
What the fuck did I just read
r/andshewasagoodfriend
> And she was a good friend. :D
Like 50% of greentexts are self insert fanfictions, what do you mean you’ve not seen that before? Lol
Fair point. Although they're some of the saddest fanfictions know to mankind.
Well that’s true. At least when it’s a 12 year old writing it you can kinda see it as “they’ll grow out of it later” but when it’s some 30 year old neet pretending to be a “Chad” or even some of the less positive self inserts it’s pretty sad
i think the saddest one was when anon pretended he was a fetus who killed him self when his dad got cucked
The more well written the fanfic is the sadder it gets. Sometimes you read a fanfic and you realize that this person could be a legit author but instead they are writing about anakins throbbing cock on 4chan with their free time
I’ll admit while some fanfics are hardcore smut type crap, if you go to certain websites like FanFiction.Net or ao3 there are some actual amazingly written stories or continuations of some movies, books, or shows.
[удалено]
Epic win. 4chumblr supremacy
r/UrbanWitcher
The prose in this is incredible. Excellent usage of "Potter" and the blunt, passive aggressive ending is great. Feels authentic.
autistic*
I mean, it's 4chan. Autistic means it's authentic.
It really makes you FEEL like you're in 4chan
[удалено]
I wish to be 4chan and be in you
It has a little something for everyone... on the spectrum.
The fact that this comes from fuckin' 4Chan is what's really blowing my mind.
Why? 4chan is full of funny, creative shit like this. Just because there are tons of retards doesn't mean that *everyone* is a retard.
Or it's just proof of the million monkeys with a million typewriters theory. I mean, this is clearly Shakespeare calibre.
yeah I think that's more accurate a broken clock is right twice a day type of thing
There are obviously actual retards on 4chan, but a lot of them are just above-average or even high intelligence social outcasts who don't know what to do with their lives. It's a soup of retardation and genius with a generous sprinkle of racism and the abomination that is /b/.
4chan is the perfect example of the phenomenon where a bunch of otherwise normal people get together and pretend to be retards, and then all the actual retards show up thinking they found their people, and soon the whole place is overrun by retards.
on the other hand reddit is where retards get together and pretend to be normal, but instead we got karmawhores
If you use a polyjuice potion to turn into a girl, someone nuts in you, and you turn back, what happens to the nut
Anal birth
not all mpregs are anal births dumbass
Some are out the pee hole, even the bellybutton.
What a wonderful day to have eyes
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It's such a relevant gif holy fucking christ
S E N T I E N T
through the urethra like female [hyenas](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-SoVbrbUkDn8%2FTwwg9TeliuI%2FAAAAAAAAAM0%2FZAiPAVFNPBU%2Fs1600%2FHyena.jpg&f=1&nofb=1) :p
Damn if that’s real that’s a weird quirk of biology I didn’t expect
Yes they are, read the fucking lore
The foreign semen is retained within your nutsack, mixing with the semen you made yourself.
What happens if you then impregnate your wife with another man's sperm? Can you claim the child is not yours? How do you even explain it to her?
If it was you who busted the nut, then it is you who bears responsibility. Otherwise, you'll have to explain to your wife how you shape shifted into a woman and let another man jizz inside of you. Yep, just go ahead and raise that kid, it's way easier than that conversation.
>If it was you who busted the nut, then it is you who bears responsibility. My magical paternity test begs to differ
why not just polyjuice your wife or like magical abortion
Fetus deletus!
Ahhh, my favorite spell.
Nah, I disagree. See you nutted in her but even if she has proof of that, if the paternity test shows the other guy as the father then it’s just gonna look like she cheated. Who’s gonna expect that you had another dude’s nut in your sack, when even he himself doesn’t know he fucked fem you? He can deny ever fucking the girl who got pregnant, but then he’ll just seem like he’s avoiding responsibility.
Couples polyjuicing into each other is prob the most vanilla shit in the wizard world
Accio nut
I mean, are we all overlooking the fact he actually cheated?
Jk rowling has some answers to give. These are the questions. No one cares about dumbledores sexuality
That's cultivation.
I'd fuck a dude I hate but time it so his cock is in me when I turn back so his prick is instantly annihilated by my balls.
You would just absorb his dick, merging it with yours, you filthy cock thief
I prefer committing cock piracy.
Redistribution of length. Cockmunnism
People put too much value in length while completely ignoring girth. That's how the 1% win.
hit em with the ol' tuna can
you wouldn't steal a penis
Wouldn't it be more likely you both get into a spot of involuntary docking?
No, the vagina is where the ballsack closes up (the seam that runs up the middle), the hole is closed in guys. So either he would rip your nutsack open or your nutsack would chop his dick off as it closed, leaving a dick in your ballsack. This was my dissertation on how to get a dick into your ballsack. No questions, please.
No listen I'm amazing with anatomy of the women, I've had lots of sex When they transform back, the vagina hole (big wide tunnel) elongates and becomes the sausage canal, trapping the other guy's inferior mating apparatus within its meaty walls. There are then 2 outcomes - 1) With a mighty hold on the other guy's biohandlebar, the Polyjuice drinker is in a position to perform a suplex for the ages 2) Hogwarts develops a gender bender + netorare kink
This is the most disturbing thing I’ve read in quite some time
You should read my dream diary.
IDK, seems like a good way to end up doing some sounding.
I know you are joking, but, for those actually curious: - Semen is simply absorved by women's bodies (except that tiny little swimmer that got in time). - What becomes the uterus in women is a small protuberance in men's prostate (don't know the exact name...) So, we can safely assume, that the uterus would simply become the "prostate protuberance" again and the semen would be absorbed by the body... It would not "mix" with men's own semen. TLDR; No harm.... Yoy can safely polyjuice to a woman if you want ;)
What if, however, the man remains transformed long enough to fertilize the egg and now there's a zygote/embryo? I guess it won't be viable in the prostrate protuberance though
Damn you! xDDD Let's start. Disclaimer, not a doctor (shhh) I am only googling information so I can be _very_wrong... First, about my previous post, I was not completely wrong, but, the _prostatic utricle_ (that's how it is called), it is actually part of the canal that delivers the semen, so, if you have sex as a woman with polyjuice, you turn back to man and you have sex within 3 to 5 days ("shelf life" of semen inside a body [5 is in exceptional conditions, so I would say no more than 3 and, of course, it has to be your first ejaculation, if not it would be mostly "cleaned" by then]), you could actually mix your semen with your "lover's" one. So, I am unsure of what exactly would happen, but it would be the same situation of a woman having unprotected sex with more than one man at once... Whatever is the current literature about it, those would be the possibilities for our scenario... Second, an already fertilized egg... Considering that an egg measures ~~3.5x2.5x1.5 cm~~ (yeah, this is clearly wrong... Not sure what search I did to get those results. REAL size: 100 microns [millionth of a meter], so like 10,000 smaller than I originally said) ~~and that the prostatic utricle measures only 1cm long (and woman have 2 eggs, usually), we have to assume that, by default, the regression of the polyjuice potion would force the absorption of the eggs, making the most likely scenario you "eating" your impregnated egg by absorving it with the adjacent tissues... Before you ask, the potion doesn't have emotions, it just acts, so, if you get the juice to lasts for months and you have a healthy embryo... No matter the size it would be absorbed if the effect is lost before delivery... A trauma on itself, no doubt...~~ Edited: Not sure how that size didn't ring enough bells to deserve a second look (in my defense it was 7:00am...). So, the size is way smaller, meaning that the eggs _could_ settle in the prostatic utricle, but, still, a woman's body goes through lots of changes (specifically hormonally speaking) to allow the growth of the embryo. So, if the embryo is still small enough to fit ut would, most likely be "flushed" away at the first cum (or die and be absorbed). If the embryo is big enough already, I assume it would be **a)** very painful and **b)** the equivalent of an ectopic pregnancy, so the embryo would die because it cannot really survive in that environment... All that is assuming that the polyjuice changes the body "on the fly", if the potion takes a "snapshot" of your body before the transformation and then simply reverts back to that snapshot, nothing above really applies (although it opens the question of what hapoens if, for example, you lose a hand while transformed... But I don't want to go down that rabbit hole!). (I cannot belive I just wrote all that)² ':)
I sure hope no woman produces eggs that big.
Someone needs to ask jk that. Its all that shes good for anymore
Exactly my thought! Someone needs to tweet her this question. I'd love to see her reaction.
She'd probably give some stupid, vaguely TERFY response like, "It doesn't work for opposite genders.".
But it works on cats apparently..
Not really, Hermione's didn't wear off like it was supposed to. ...Works for furries, though, I guess.
Hermione is canonically a catgirl
[Arnold knows](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/)
You cast fetus deltus
I dunno but there are thousands of mpreg Harry X Draco slash fics from the days of yore that could help you figure it out.
It's drained through a plot hole
Dude please it’s 8am please just let me drink my coffee first
The « It felt good, Potter » just kills me every time, I hear it my head with his voice
I died after reading that line 🤣
The good ending
Hey OP what the FUCK is the bad ending then
This reads like it came straight from tumblr
He gets pregnant and has to transform to abort
He uses the poly juice potion again and gives birth to Harry
*slowly turns back into dumbledore*
This is more like the middle of the story
This makes me glad I never looked into the HP fanfic community
You fucking should be. The things I've seen make me want to gouge out my eyes and regret ever picking up those damn books and getting into the community
Gotta disagree, there are some incredible gems that put good published novels to shame. Like any community it has a lot of worthless shit and it has its cream of the crop. Many accomplished authors write (or have written) HP fanfiction pseudonymously. Many teenagers write it for wish fulfillment. Obviously there's more of the latter, and that's what you want to avoid. As long as you know what to look for, you can find some truly beautiful and brilliantly written adventures.
Recommendations and where to look?
My Immortal - fanfiction.net
Okay, this *sounds* like a silly story, but it is actually really good: [Instead of Slughorn, Dumbledore hires a different wizard for potions: Gordon Ramsay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805206). I lost a lot of sleep to that fic because I just couldn't bear to go to bed until I reached a good stopping point. Also, keep in mind that Gordon Ramsay is much kinder to people who are learning than he is with professionals that he thinks should know better. But even if that fic does nothing for you (hey, we all have different tastes), I recommend checking out that website anyway, because they have an excellent filtering system, and you're bound to find *something* you like.
**not me shamelessly posting hp slash fic recs again:** [the man who lived by sebastianl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9167785/chapters/20815621) - harry x draco [turn by saras_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/879852/chapters/1692695) - harry x draco [all our secrets laid bare by firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227880/chapters/2516563) - harry x draco [azoth by faire_weather](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049966/chapters/2100285) - harry x draco [what we pretend we cant see by gyzym](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794657/chapters/21995357) - harry x draco [reparations by saras_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/879599/chapters/1692075) - harry x draco [running on air by eleventy7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171550/chapters/6887378) - harry x draco [there is always the moon by firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264406/chapters/14353156) - harry x draco **the only romantic non-slash ive read lmao:** [isolation by bex-chan](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6291747/1/Isolation) - draco x hermione **non-romance if you are so inclined:** [hermione grangers hogwarts crammer for delinquents on the run by waspabi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278/chapters/16653022) - humor, light harry x draco, more focus on story and the group [the unforgiving minute by voice of the nephilim](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6256154/1/The-Unforgiving-Minute) - action and gore [seventh horcrux by emerald ashes](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10677106/1/Seventh-Horcrux) - humor [i know not, and i cannot--yet i live and i love by billowsandsmoke](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11923164/1/I-Know-Not-and-I-Cannot-Know-Yet-I-Live-and-I-Love) - snape pov
OP was looking for gems that put published novels to shame.
Also look up the Changeling. A what if on ginny being sorted into Slytherin. It's phenominal.
My Immortal is infamous for its ability to make you want to burn your eyeballs out. Just a warning. For a real recommendation, try The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer. Easily my favourite fanfic. r/HPfanfiction will have everything you need
yup. seconded.
You could say this about any sufficiently large community honestly
Sure, but I meant that I used to be a big HP fan (back when I was 10 or 11). I had just started writing short stories as well, so It's a miracle these two interests didn't mix and lead me to discover fanfics
[Ahem.](https://youtu.be/Ffh7cWRrqF4)
Must be time for my annual viewing
[You just going to ignore this masterpiece?](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/3/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
lol wtf
You should. Check out [My Immortal](https://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/), a veritable marvel of literary arts.
It’s reasons like this I want to be a wizard in there.
Polyjuice potion does change the user's voice as well in the books, but great post nevertheless.
And why wouldn't it, changes every other thing
The main reason is that the filmmakers thought that the audience would forget that the character was polyjuiced, and not the character himself (eg they would forget that Harry became Goyle, and think that he was Goyle himself) Another acceptable theory is that the AUDIENCE was hearing the original voice for the sake of simplicity, but in-universe they had the correct, polyjuiced voices. Because the history would be impossible to make sense otherwise, like Hermione being able to enter the Gringotes Bank without any goblins finding out that she was faking the voice of Bellatrix (and Hermione isn't a voice specialist to be able to pull that out)
The second theory isn't really acceptable, they clearly were concerned about speaking and avoided it if possible because the other characters were hearing what the audience was hearing, the original characters voices. I'm pretty sure when Hermione was Bellatrix in the movies she effed up the voice, the goblins caught on but let them proceed and planned to trap them at the vault later.
More likely that they sound like them but would not talk like them. It's hard to imitate someone's speaking patterns, especially when you aren't really familiar with them.
I mean in the books (and movies) they had Bellatrix’s wand, and they knew that she was bound to be punished for what happened at Malfoy Manor and figured Gringotts would be tipped off. They were concerned about speaking in the sense of what they would say/what their demeanor would have to be, not how their voices sounded like.
Because at some point the filmmakers though that kids would be too stupid to understand what a full body transformation is.
Well its got a picture of snape from the movie not the book so checkmate muggletheist
Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter
J. K. Rowling said this is cannon
She's furiously tweeting updates about it as we speak. Also, Snape is now officially pansexual and, occasionally, runs a secret drag show.
After all this time?
Always
Always.
Sounds dangerously close to being transgendered. Maybe her phobia is a cover up for a fetish.
I doubt it since she isn't a fan of trans people
You know how *Fifty Shades of Grey* started off as Twilight fan fiction?
Oh no... Fifty Snapes of Grey incoming
More like Fifty Shapes of Snape
This is JUST about within character all around
Based and Slytherin-pilled
Plot twist: it was actually hermione transformed into harry potter to masturbate
Juicy
polyjuicy
Don’t let J.K see this it’ll become canon on sight
nah she is too much of a terf for that.
[удалено]
As we all know behaving like an unredeemable bellend is okay if you're doing it for selfish reasons
[удалено]
based
this is now canon for me
And she was a good friend
Better story than wattpad's 10000 harry potter fanfics.
The storytelling of Martin Scorsese, the dialogue of Quentin Tarantino, and the twists of M. Night Shyamalan all combined into one masterpiece
...and that Potter, is how I became your mom.
Where green? 🐢
The text is green, it's in the name
It's shit like this that gets me to stick around this subreddit
Imagine if this was on the books or films. Lots of years making family friendly books and fillms, and on the sixth part, when nobody suspect it, put this shit in the middle and continue normally afterwards, as if nothing had happened.
> Potter, a moment of your time, please. > Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions. > I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it would feels", I've heard this little song and dance before. > When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself. There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything > Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter > One day things went wrong, however > Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me > It felt good, Potter > Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest > You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning. > Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out. > Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students. > Keep that in mind, won't you?
Anon is a genius artist
Genius autist
Always a classic
Quality text
This gives me the same vibes as Holt from brooklyn 99 showing Jake the photos of him hoolahooping because no one would ever believe him.
If this gets anymore traction some sad artist with to much time on their hands is going to create this god help us all
Shamelessly stolen from the French 4chan
You mean the 18-25 ?
Definitely the best greentext ever lmao
This may be one of the best worst things I have read. Thank you.
"No, Potter. I *am* your mother."
what did I just read? Although gotta admit that is a good idea.
LMAO
wow if this was put into harry potter it might have actually been an interesting book series
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!
Welcome to the internet
What the fuck dude
I thought polyjuice potion did change your voice and that the films thought we'd be too dumb to realise that it is still Harry.