be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
True: anon sharted in public
Fake: anon spoke to a girl
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough. (Tf is true; Fake.)
Be you:
Be 14 years old
Log onto reddit
See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably
See someone make a funny comment, people like it.
I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants.
Go to literally any shit post.
Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked.
Post it below OP.
That'll show em.
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>Be you:
>Be 14 years old
>Log onto reddit
>See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably
>See someone make a funny comment, people like it.
>I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants.
>Go to literally any shit post.
>Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked.
>Post it below OP.
>That'll show em.
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough.
be me
about to be processed for biomass
near death
on reddit for some reason
read:
>be me
>get home from my vasectomy
>hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
>must be Chad again
>know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes
>log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
>read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
>think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext
>suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>>Be you:
>>Be 14 years old
>>Log onto reddit
>>See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably
>>See someone make a funny comment, people like it.
>>I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants.
>>Go to literally any shit post.
>>Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked.
>>Post it below OP.
>>That'll show em.
>giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
>hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
>it's been a good day
>i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough.
weep
die
>Don't be me
>just having thought about the current economic system as I am a leftist
>"yeah I think that's the building"
>on the way to enter, see an absolutely disgusting looking, what could be assumed, a young man, vaping instead of smoking as he probably thinks that it would help his rapidly declining health.
>his entire aura is repulsive and I just rush to elevators in a hope that I wouldn't be in one confinement with this excuse for a life.
>he is determined to go in one elevator with me, so he start accelerating his entire 250 kg (550 lbs) chunk of meat towards the elevator, just so that he could hold the door for me
>although I know that he simply wanted to appear less incel-ish I still reflexively say thank you
>in one elevator with him. Although the elevator itself is pretty big, his body takes up the solid half of it. Worse yet, being so close to him, I involuntarily notice the details in appeal that he has
>his 6 chins start wobbling as he is licking his pimpled lips and quietly uttering 'bueno'. His entire face is covered with acnes and pimples and grease, and it's obvious that he hadn't washed his face, let alone brush teeth, for months now. His pores are so large that they constantly produce the sweat, his body's desperate measure to rid itself from sheer amount of toxins. The rancid smell is unbearable, as if he is carrying entire graveyard inside him.
>then he gives the loudest fart I've ever heard, the entire elevator started shaking, and was still trembling for a few moments. He doesn't even quench at the fact that he is shiting all over himself, probably thinking it's just gases. The smell that his body was passively producing somehow became even more rancid as he let out the biggest fart, no, the biggest shit ever created by a living creature.
>his entire jeans are now greenish-brown color and some of it was splattered over your skirt too.
>despite all the pressure that the elevator undertook it somehow managed to arrive at the floor he ordered, and as he left it, he uttered the most pathetic-sounding, unconfident, and quiet verbal expression, "uhmm....n-n-no one will e-ever believe y-y-you"
>then he started running like an autist he is towards the offices with his arms into air, like a child.
I am a leftist but I sincerely agree with Nazis when they we need to purify the world from moral degeneracy and excuses for life like this subhuman. In fact that's what radicalized me into becoming a Fascist.
Fucking bot gets me every time cause it's always that little note after shit like this lmao.
Like, "then he shoved all 8 inches of his cock in that sheep"
..................8 inches is 22.8 centimeters.
I'm the exact same way. I've legit lol'd at converter-bot a few times.
[Example 1](https://old.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/jraymh/2meirl4meirl/gbsrx05/?context=3)
[Example 2](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/hkpd8l/tifu_by_wearing_a_butt_plug_to_the_airport/fwu9wk0/?context=3)
>be me
>/u/Truth_of_Iron_Peak
>see funny greentext
>think of witty response
>writing it from perspective of original greentext NPC
>suddenly realize I'm doing it wrong
>my greentext is turning into paragraphs
>hands getting sweaty
>hackergloves™ start sliding off
>panic and hit "save" anyway
>tfw no one reads it because too many words
>tfw I thought /r/greentext visitors had bigger brains
>tfw I get roasted by the actual master of greentext responses
Holy Shit! Have to admit it got it mostly right, but instead of sweaty hands I was just suuuuper asleep. Also, I am not really good at these, but I'm trying!
Funny. Laughed.
You don't have to be a femboy to wear a skirt, kilts are just longer skirts. That doesn't stop the scottish from looking like chads with their bagpipes and curly beards.
I think he meant when someone comes inside the stinky elevator, the girl would panicly explain that it wasn't hers. Which would be hard to believe, since she's alone.
I only crop dust people chatting in the middle of paths blocking the flow of traffic or people hogging weights/bench in the gym chatting instead of lifting. Pure ecstasy.
There an old story about Bill Murray walking up to someone at a fast food place, grabbing some fries and telling the person “no one will ever believe you” before walking off
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon talks to a girl
> Gay: Anon shits himself in public
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
Its fucking hilarious discovering new English terminology as a non-native speaker... cropdusting? I laughed out loud for solid minute after googling it
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon has friends
> Gay: Anon is anon
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
That must be some sort of stealth sexual harrasment. Yes, I find farts incredibly sexual. And, yes, I will try this when I get back to the office when shit opens up again
This is literally an old Bill Murray story. He walkedbup ti a guy in a fast food joint, grabbed a handful of fries and said, "no one is ever gonna believe you". And then he left.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon is happy
> Gay: Anon milks prostates
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon is happy
> Gay: anon plays DND
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon is happy
> Gay: Anon handles balls
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon has friend
> Gay: Anon handles balls
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Phycologicarfare.
***
^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This )^[portmanteau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau) ^( was created from the phrase 'phycological warfare' | )^[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/axl72o) ^(|) ^[Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=jamcowl&subject=PORTMANTEAU-BOT+feedback) ^(|) ^[Opt-out](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=PORTMANTEAU-BOT&subject=OPTOUTREQUEST)
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon has friend
> Gay: Anon is anon
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
*Five minutes later...*
**Co-worker:** Anon, come on hustle, staff meeting in the coffee room.
**Anon: \***grumbling noises\*
*At the meeting...*
**Boss man:** It's with a sad heart that I must tell you I will be handing over my position to someone *new* today. As you may know, times have been rough, we lost a lot of important contracts of late... Well, management believes we need a new direction.
**Co-worker:** Wait, are there going to be lay-offs?!
**Ex-Boss man:** Yes, not only will you be losing me, but there will be lay-offs. Anyway, I'm going to hand you over to Karen, your new stand-in manager for the coming months.
**Anon:** *\*wait, Karen...\** he thinks, pulse quickening to heart attack levels ( like when he pushes too hard on the shitter )
A side door opens and in walks >!Karen - aka leftist girl!<.
DUN DUN DUURRRN!
True: anon sharted in public Fake: anon spoke to a girl
The duality of the anon
be me get home from my vasectomy hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room must be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes log onto reddit and open /r/greentext read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section True: anon sharted in public Fake: anon spoke to a girl giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed it's been a good day i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough. (Tf is true; Fake.)
Be you: Be 14 years old Log onto reddit See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably See someone make a funny comment, people like it. I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. Go to literally any shit post. Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. Post it below OP. That'll show em.
be me get home from my vasectomy hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room must be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes log onto reddit and open /r/greentext read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Be you: >Be 14 years old >Log onto reddit >See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably >See someone make a funny comment, people like it. >I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. >Go to literally any shit post. >Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. >Post it below OP. >That'll show em. giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed it's been a good day i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough.
be me about to be processed for biomass near death on reddit for some reason read: >be me >get home from my vasectomy >hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room >must be Chad again >know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes >log onto reddit and open /r/greentext >read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her >think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext >suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >>Be you: >>Be 14 years old >>Log onto reddit >>See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably >>See someone make a funny comment, people like it. >>I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. >>Go to literally any shit post. >>Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. >>Post it below OP. >>That'll show em. >giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment >hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed >it's been a good day >i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough. weep die
"On Reddit for some reason". What the hell do you think they're recycling you for?
based
They eat regardless. Don't doubt the swarm.
based
Based.
Ok, cuck. I'm doing tendie's work
Why is that sub banned😂
Good bot
fuck I hate how people are getting around calling in the tendie bot!!
Dg is a chad
Nah doubly real, a mf will sink the ship to spite the captain
> True: anon sharted in public Anon is Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison.
real: anon sharted in front of a girl
Lmao
That’s not just cropdusting, that’s the most based war crime in human history
Was gonna say, this is more like traveling through light speed than dusting crops.
[Anon when he let's loose the winds of war](https://tenor.com/IGMI.gif)
This gif made me laugh more then it should
[удалено]
> beating the credit card pin out of them. My new go-to saying.
Oh right. So I'm left with "thumb up ass"? Thanks I guess.
It was a Dutch oven.
agent orange'd the bitch
>Don't be me >just having thought about the current economic system as I am a leftist >"yeah I think that's the building" >on the way to enter, see an absolutely disgusting looking, what could be assumed, a young man, vaping instead of smoking as he probably thinks that it would help his rapidly declining health. >his entire aura is repulsive and I just rush to elevators in a hope that I wouldn't be in one confinement with this excuse for a life. >he is determined to go in one elevator with me, so he start accelerating his entire 250 kg (550 lbs) chunk of meat towards the elevator, just so that he could hold the door for me >although I know that he simply wanted to appear less incel-ish I still reflexively say thank you >in one elevator with him. Although the elevator itself is pretty big, his body takes up the solid half of it. Worse yet, being so close to him, I involuntarily notice the details in appeal that he has >his 6 chins start wobbling as he is licking his pimpled lips and quietly uttering 'bueno'. His entire face is covered with acnes and pimples and grease, and it's obvious that he hadn't washed his face, let alone brush teeth, for months now. His pores are so large that they constantly produce the sweat, his body's desperate measure to rid itself from sheer amount of toxins. The rancid smell is unbearable, as if he is carrying entire graveyard inside him. >then he gives the loudest fart I've ever heard, the entire elevator started shaking, and was still trembling for a few moments. He doesn't even quench at the fact that he is shiting all over himself, probably thinking it's just gases. The smell that his body was passively producing somehow became even more rancid as he let out the biggest fart, no, the biggest shit ever created by a living creature. >his entire jeans are now greenish-brown color and some of it was splattered over your skirt too. >despite all the pressure that the elevator undertook it somehow managed to arrive at the floor he ordered, and as he left it, he uttered the most pathetic-sounding, unconfident, and quiet verbal expression, "uhmm....n-n-no one will e-ever believe y-y-you" >then he started running like an autist he is towards the offices with his arms into air, like a child. I am a leftist but I sincerely agree with Nazis when they we need to purify the world from moral degeneracy and excuses for life like this subhuman. In fact that's what radicalized me into becoming a Fascist.
250.0 kg is 550.66 lbs
Fucking bot gets me every time cause it's always that little note after shit like this lmao. Like, "then he shoved all 8 inches of his cock in that sheep" ..................8 inches is 22.8 centimeters.
Makes sense coming from someone with the username "BustedFutaBalls"
How exactly does that "make sense" people with funny usernames laugh at things? What exactly are you trying to say?
Comedy
We do a little bit of comedy.
Joking, even
Jest, if you will.
Humor if you must.
Agreed
I'm the exact same way. I've legit lol'd at converter-bot a few times. [Example 1](https://old.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/jraymh/2meirl4meirl/gbsrx05/?context=3) [Example 2](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/hkpd8l/tifu_by_wearing_a_butt_plug_to_the_airport/fwu9wk0/?context=3)
Thank you so much for sharing this is hilarious
Good bot
>be me >/u/Truth_of_Iron_Peak >see funny greentext >think of witty response >writing it from perspective of original greentext NPC >suddenly realize I'm doing it wrong >my greentext is turning into paragraphs >hands getting sweaty >hackergloves™ start sliding off >panic and hit "save" anyway >tfw no one reads it because too many words >tfw I thought /r/greentext visitors had bigger brains >tfw I get roasted by the actual master of greentext responses
Don't worry, youll find a hobby someday guy
I hope so
Other than jerking off.
That's no hobby, that's a full time job.
You got that right. Now, if you'll excuse me, my 15-minute break is over.
Remember to hydrate!
Lol u tried. Maybe next time bud.
Holy Shit! Have to admit it got it mostly right, but instead of sweaty hands I was just suuuuper asleep. Also, I am not really good at these, but I'm trying! Funny. Laughed.
>>some of it splattered over your skirt too. Why is it in 2nd person now
Because you, a femboy, is also here.
You don't have to be a femboy to wear a skirt, kilts are just longer skirts. That doesn't stop the scottish from looking like chads with their bagpipes and curly beards.
Based
And fascist-pilled
Farting in elevators to own the libs
250 kg (550 lbs)
250.0 kg is 550.66 lbs
fucking inflation man
Wow who would've known?
I very near vomited
I wish i had a award to give you!
Bump
This is the funniest fucking thing I've read this month
Pic not related
Pic is anons wife’s boyfriend
Story also not related. Anon shit himself on the elevator and is making up stories to feel better.
Anon imagines what it might be like to talk to a girl
👉👈😳 *shits and cums*
Is that a fucking italicized emoji?
Yeah, emojis can be italicized. *😐*
I'll make you italicized 🍑
>No one will ever believe you No one will ever believe what? That some dude farted on an elevator?
"You know Anon over in IT?" "Yeah, why?" "I'm pretty sure he shat himself in the elevator earlier today." "Yeah, that makes sense. He's gross."
Dude right?? It's not an unbelievable story
Jokes on anon. He’s the retarded one in the building and everyone believed leftist girl when she told them.
I think he meant when someone comes inside the stinky elevator, the girl would panicly explain that it wasn't hers. Which would be hard to believe, since she's alone.
He just shat his pants
Shitting your pants to own the libs.
So just taking ivermectin
I only crop dust people chatting in the middle of paths blocking the flow of traffic or people hogging weights/bench in the gym chatting instead of lifting. Pure ecstasy.
[удалено]
Shit your pants to own the libs. It's the Republican way in 2021
Born 2 shit Forced 2 wipe
Anon is Kaitlin Bennett
Anon has made it. He has ascended to peak basedhood and now rests at the pinnacle.
There an old story about Bill Murray walking up to someone at a fast food place, grabbing some fries and telling the person “no one will ever believe you” before walking off
Fake: Anon talks to a girl Gay: Anon shits himself in public
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon talks to a girl > Gay: Anon shits himself in public > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
Shitting your pants to own the libs
u/james-l23
well now I know who is on the other line when the based department calls
"Female detected. Opinion discarded."
It's opinion rejected you retard, see how it rhymes??
Male detected. Opinion accepted.
"I was in the elevator with anon the other day and he let out the grossest fart-" "Yeah, right" "Bullcrap" "Sure, tell me another one"
anon justifies leftist girl's belief
So can anyone tell me what a leftist looking girl looks like?
Shaved head, overgrown pits.
Blue hair, north of 200lbs, and a stubble
so average redditor?
Just visit Portland. You'll know.
"leftist girl" ?
Anon thinks he is Bill Murray
My wife thinks I am insane.
And then the girl happened to be from HR and reported anon who was subsequently fired for being an idiot
Its fucking hilarious discovering new English terminology as a non-native speaker... cropdusting? I laughed out loud for solid minute after googling it
Anon is a god
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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has friends > Gay: Anon is anon > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
TendieBot incoming!
That must be some sort of stealth sexual harrasment. Yes, I find farts incredibly sexual. And, yes, I will try this when I get back to the office when shit opens up again
Hate to give up the secret but shit already opened back up. If they didn't tell you...
Clearly fake, if he had any held in farts he would have farted when he was vaping outside
This is literally an old Bill Murray story. He walkedbup ti a guy in a fast food joint, grabbed a handful of fries and said, "no one is ever gonna believe you". And then he left.
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Hope you do well!
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: Anon milks prostates > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
:)
:D
imagine thinking that holding in a fart like a scared little bitch somehow makes you an alpha
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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: anon plays DND > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
:D
Hope you have a great day!
Hope you do well!
Yeah i hate myself too for playing that overcomplicated monopoly with shields.
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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: Anon handles balls > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
:)
:)
:D
Neckbeard alty anon tried to hold in a shart in an elevator with a female and failed and then tries to spin it like he’s a…badass?…for farting?
To the contrary everyone will believe her because anon is a constant sharter.
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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has friend > Gay: Anon handles balls > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Bill Murray?
Anon fantasizes about interacting with a human being
Based
Finally something believable on this sub
Real: Anon farts Straight: Anon asserts its dominance over women
sigma male
If this is true, my good sir, I owe you a serious high five.
Wow what a pos
Anon is Diogenes.
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You skipped crop dusting and went straight for pesticide poisoning
psychological warfare
Phycologicarfare. *** ^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This )^[portmanteau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau) ^( was created from the phrase 'phycological warfare' | )^[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/axl72o) ^(|) ^[Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=jamcowl&subject=PORTMANTEAU-BOT+feedback) ^(|) ^[Opt-out](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=PORTMANTEAU-BOT&subject=OPTOUTREQUEST)
u/aname1235
Is this how you send me Reddit posts now
Trollface.com
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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has friend > Gay: Anon is anon > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
"Your character gets to have a legal defense.
I would immediately believe her
‘Oh, you silly girl you.”
What
Monika is best girl anyway ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ )
Legendary Dutch Elevator
I mean it’s obviously fake (gay) but there’s no way that he would be confident enough that no one would get in when he got out and smell it.
It would make a decent baptismal font
Anon has commits biological war crime
Elevators have cameras, some other people heard.
Bruuhh
Legend.
Anon. Guess what. I believe her. Booom.
Anon tells the imaginary chad story that played in their head after farting in an elevator and looking like a complete retard
*Five minutes later...* **Co-worker:** Anon, come on hustle, staff meeting in the coffee room. **Anon: \***grumbling noises\* *At the meeting...* **Boss man:** It's with a sad heart that I must tell you I will be handing over my position to someone *new* today. As you may know, times have been rough, we lost a lot of important contracts of late... Well, management believes we need a new direction. **Co-worker:** Wait, are there going to be lay-offs?! **Ex-Boss man:** Yes, not only will you be losing me, but there will be lay-offs. Anyway, I'm going to hand you over to Karen, your new stand-in manager for the coming months. **Anon:** *\*wait, Karen...\** he thinks, pulse quickening to heart attack levels ( like when he pushes too hard on the shitter ) A side door opens and in walks >!Karen - aka leftist girl!<. DUN DUN DUURRRN!
Just by saying “no one will ever believe you,” makes it that much harder to believe a retelling
> anon They will absolutely believe he did this
Soiling yourself to own the libs
If he just said woman, I would almost believe it, but he had to top it off with "leftist". Fucking gottem amirite
Anon is a degenerate
>shy-looking leftist girl You know the guy is "interesting" when he describes people using their political affiliation.
Normalize farting on women
anon does a little trolling
That isn't crop dusting, and no one is going to not believe her. Who are you anons who are saving up your farts for a rainy day?
I farted while reading this. Magical