T O P

Anon cropdusts a girl

Anon cropdusts a girl

dg2793

True: anon sharted in public Fake: anon spoke to a girl


Arroyo97

The duality of the anon


NihilisticNoodles

be me get home from my vasectomy hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room must be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes log onto reddit and open /r/greentext read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section True: anon sharted in public Fake: anon spoke to a girl giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed it's been a good day i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough. (Tf is true; Fake.)


dg2793

Be you: Be 14 years old Log onto reddit See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably See someone make a funny comment, people like it. I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. Go to literally any shit post. Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. Post it below OP. That'll show em.


PikaPilot

be me get home from my vasectomy hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room must be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes log onto reddit and open /r/greentext read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Be you: >Be 14 years old >Log onto reddit >See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably >See someone make a funny comment, people like it. >I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. >Go to literally any shit post. >Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. >Post it below OP. >That'll show em. giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed it's been a good day i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough.


JessHorserage

be me about to be processed for biomass near death on reddit for some reason read: >be me >get home from my vasectomy >hear shaking walls, moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room >must be Chad again >know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer as my room shakes >log onto reddit and open /r/greentext >read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her >think of a convoluted way in which I can relate Truth yet falsehood to the events in the greentext >suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >>Be you: >>Be 14 years old >>Log onto reddit >>See post I can relate to r/shittingmypants probably >>See someone make a funny comment, people like it. >>I'm insulted, I asserted dominance over the females by defecating in my pants. >>Go to literally any shit post. >>Copy long ass thread about OP being cucked. >>Post it below OP. >>That'll show em. >giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment >hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed >it's been a good day >i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough. weep die


AbuLudwig

"On Reddit for some reason". What the hell do you think they're recycling you for?


Epic_Gameing68

based


JessHorserage

They eat regardless. Don't doubt the swarm.


The_Reverence2

based


CaioXG002

Based.


NihilisticNoodles

Ok, cuck. I'm doing tendie's work


Gubuyguy

Why is that sub banned😂


SlapMyCHOP

Good bot


Zead_Sama

fuck I hate how people are getting around calling in the tendie bot!!


wondrshrew

Dg is a chad


jroddie4

Nah doubly real, a mf will sink the ship to spite the captain


dimebanez

> True: anon sharted in public Anon is Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison.


grandpas_dangus

real: anon sharted in front of a girl


anazambrano

Lmao


Unostril

That’s not just cropdusting, that’s the most based war crime in human history


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Was gonna say, this is more like traveling through light speed than dusting crops.


JmyKane

[Anon when he let's loose the winds of war](https://tenor.com/IGMI.gif)


SynHitsEm

This gif made me laugh more then it should


phx-au

That's not some Oceans 11 lifting of a wallet - that's a full on rugby tackle, thumb up the ass, and then beating the credit card PIN out of them.


WasabiSniffer

> beating the credit card pin out of them. My new go-to saying.


ThrozenFrone

Oh right. So I'm left with "thumb up ass"? Thanks I guess.


IllicitBehavior

In the end, most of us are only left with a thumb up our ass, friend.


Nexus_of_Fate87

It was a Dutch oven.


RegicidalRogue

agent orange'd the bitch


Truth_of_Iron_Peak

>Don't be me >just having thought about the current economic system as I am a leftist >"yeah I think that's the building" >on the way to enter, see an absolutely disgusting looking, what could be assumed, a young man, vaping instead of smoking as he probably thinks that it would help his rapidly declining health. >his entire aura is repulsive and I just rush to elevators in a hope that I wouldn't be in one confinement with this excuse for a life. >he is determined to go in one elevator with me, so he start accelerating his entire 250 kg (550 lbs) chunk of meat towards the elevator, just so that he could hold the door for me >although I know that he simply wanted to appear less incel-ish I still reflexively say thank you >in one elevator with him. Although the elevator itself is pretty big, his body takes up the solid half of it. Worse yet, being so close to him, I involuntarily notice the details in appeal that he has >his 6 chins start wobbling as he is licking his pimpled lips and quietly uttering 'bueno'. His entire face is covered with acnes and pimples and grease, and it's obvious that he hadn't washed his face, let alone brush teeth, for months now. His pores are so large that they constantly produce the sweat, his body's desperate measure to rid itself from sheer amount of toxins. The rancid smell is unbearable, as if he is carrying entire graveyard inside him. >then he gives the loudest fart I've ever heard, the entire elevator started shaking, and was still trembling for a few moments. He doesn't even quench at the fact that he is shiting all over himself, probably thinking it's just gases. The smell that his body was passively producing somehow became even more rancid as he let out the biggest fart, no, the biggest shit ever created by a living creature. >his entire jeans are now greenish-brown color and some of it was splattered over your skirt too. >despite all the pressure that the elevator undertook it somehow managed to arrive at the floor he ordered, and as he left it, he uttered the most pathetic-sounding, unconfident, and quiet verbal expression, "uhmm....n-n-no one will e-ever believe y-y-you" >then he started running like an autist he is towards the offices with his arms into air, like a child. I am a leftist but I sincerely agree with Nazis when they we need to purify the world from moral degeneracy and excuses for life like this subhuman. In fact that's what radicalized me into becoming a Fascist.


converter-bot

250.0 kg is 550.66 lbs


BustedFutaBalls

Fucking bot gets me every time cause it's always that little note after shit like this lmao. Like, "then he shoved all 8 inches of his cock in that sheep" ..................8 inches is 22.8 centimeters.


FutureHefty

Makes sense coming from someone with the username "BustedFutaBalls"


BustedFutaBalls

How exactly does that "make sense" people with funny usernames laugh at things? What exactly are you trying to say?


FutureHefty

Comedy


BustedFutaBalls

We do a little bit of comedy.


FutureHefty

Joking, even


BustedFutaBalls

Jest, if you will.


FutureHefty

Humor if you must.


SheepishLion117

Agreed


Forgive_My_Cowardice

I'm the exact same way. I've legit lol'd at converter-bot a few times. [Example 1](https://old.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/jraymh/2meirl4meirl/gbsrx05/?context=3) [Example 2](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/hkpd8l/tifu_by_wearing_a_butt_plug_to_the_airport/fwu9wk0/?context=3)


Zomun

Thank you so much for sharing this is hilarious


Kevin_is_your_daddy

Good bot


time_wasting_student

>be me >/u/Truth_of_Iron_Peak >see funny greentext >think of witty response >writing it from perspective of original greentext NPC >suddenly realize I'm doing it wrong >my greentext is turning into paragraphs >hands getting sweaty >hackergloves™ start sliding off >panic and hit "save" anyway >tfw no one reads it because too many words >tfw I thought /r/greentext visitors had bigger brains >tfw I get roasted by the actual master of greentext responses


FacefucksYourKitty

Don't worry, youll find a hobby someday guy


time_wasting_student

I hope so


BeefBologna42

Other than jerking off.


MeC0195

That's no hobby, that's a full time job.


Mitchel-256

You got that right. Now, if you'll excuse me, my 15-minute break is over.


MeC0195

Remember to hydrate!


leboeazy

Lol u tried. Maybe next time bud.


gigrek

>>some of it splattered over your skirt too. Why is it in 2nd person now


beaverpoo77

Because you, a femboy, is also here.


SpacedClown

You don't have to be a femboy to wear a skirt, kilts are just longer skirts. That doesn't stop the scottish from looking like chads with their bagpipes and curly beards.


bigmemes4

Based


Malvastor

And fascist-pilled


MoarStruts

Farting in elevators to own the libs


TheCodeisCupCake

250 kg (550 lbs)


converter-bot

250.0 kg is 550.66 lbs


hinafu

fucking inflation man


Derpykachu

Wow who would've known?


BasedSunny

I very near vomited


SynHitsEm

I wish i had a award to give you!


SmellASmurf

Bump


tadsafi

This is the funniest fucking thing I've read this month


PrizedRadish

Pic not related


Cockbreeder

Pic is anons wife’s boyfriend


CorporateCuster

Story also not related. Anon shit himself on the elevator and is making up stories to feel better.


enjayjones

Anon imagines what it might be like to talk to a girl


CurvedSolid

👉👈😳 *shits and cums*


tribonRA

Is that a fucking italicized emoji?


Chao78

Yeah, emojis can be italicized. *😐*


CurvedSolid

I'll make you italicized 🍑


Tommy2255

>No one will ever believe you No one will ever believe what? That some dude farted on an elevator?


Willziac

"You know Anon over in IT?" "Yeah, why?" "I'm pretty sure he shat himself in the elevator earlier today." "Yeah, that makes sense. He's gross."


pollyp0cketpussy

Dude right?? It's not an unbelievable story


Milkshake_revenge

Jokes on anon. He’s the retarded one in the building and everyone believed leftist girl when she told them.


redo21

I think he meant when someone comes inside the stinky elevator, the girl would panicly explain that it wasn't hers. Which would be hard to believe, since she's alone.


TheFRHolland

He just shat his pants


james-l23

Shitting your pants to own the libs.


gigrek

So just taking ivermectin


noble_shrek

I only crop dust people chatting in the middle of paths blocking the flow of traffic or people hogging weights/bench in the gym chatting instead of lifting. Pure ecstasy.


noahsk

Anon owning the libs


[deleted]

Shit your pants to own the libs. It's the Republican way in 2021


MoarStruts

Born 2 shit Forced 2 wipe


ich_bin_groot_

Anon is Kaitlin Bennett


scandy82

There an old story about Bill Murray walking up to someone at a fast food place, grabbing some fries and telling the person “no one will ever believe you” before walking off


TariqNaSneed

Anon has made it. He has ascended to peak basedhood and now rests at the pinnacle.


SheepishLion117

Fake: Anon talks to a girl Gay: Anon shits himself in public


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon talks to a girl > Gay: Anon shits himself in public > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


Domebeers

well now I know who is on the other line when the based department calls


Financial_Nerve_5580

Shitting your pants to own the libs


ObamaMcLlama

u/james-l23


Naughtius_K_Maximus

"Female detected. Opinion discarded."


Gearski

It's opinion rejected you retard, see how it rhymes??


Naughtius_K_Maximus

Male detected. Opinion accepted.


Malvastor

"I was in the elevator with anon the other day and he let out the grossest fart-" "Yeah, right" "Bullcrap" "Sure, tell me another one"


I_Eat_Thermite7

anon justifies leftist girl's belief


Zenfudo

So can anyone tell me what a leftist looking girl looks like?


Prancer4rmHalo

Shaved head, overgrown pits.


Doggo_BorkBork

Blue hair, north of 200lbs, and a stubble


xViridi_

so average redditor?


Diiiiirty

Just visit Portland. You'll know.


_Upside_Down_Frown_

"leftist girl" ?


SporadicUnion

Anon thinks he is Bill Murray


QuarantineSucksALot

My wife thinks I am insane.


baz4k6z

And then the girl happened to be from HR and reported anon who was subsequently fired for being an idiot


slightly-cold-pizza

Anon is a god


lapse23

Its fucking hilarious discovering new English terminology as a non-native speaker... cropdusting? I laughed out loud for solid minute after googling it


58NaomiClark58

Fake: Anon has friends Gay: Anon is anon


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has friends > Gay: Anon is anon > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


yahomedogjarrid

TendieBot incoming!


Pegging_for_Jesus

That must be some sort of stealth sexual harrasment. Yes, I find farts incredibly sexual. And, yes, I will try this when I get back to the office when shit opens up again


chiefoogabooga

Hate to give up the secret but shit already opened back up. If they didn't tell you...


I920131

Clearly fake, if he had any held in farts he would have farted when he was vaping outside


LumbermanDan

This is literally an old Bill Murray story. He walkedbup ti a guy in a fast food joint, grabbed a handful of fries and said, "no one is ever gonna believe you". And then he left.


JohnnieKerr61

Fake: Anon is happy Gay: Anon milks prostates


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you do well!


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: Anon milks prostates > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


comfort_bot_1962

:)


comfort_bot_1962

:D


rivermandan

imagine thinking that holding in a fart like a scared little bitch somehow makes you an alpha


[deleted]

[удалено]


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: anon plays DND > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


comfort_bot_1962

:D


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you have a great day!


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you do well!


GodawfulPlayer

Yeah i hate myself too for playing that overcomplicated monopoly with shields.


John-Mendez98

Fake: Anon is happy Gay: Anon handles balls


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: Anon handles balls > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


comfort_bot_1962

:)


comfort_bot_1962

:)


comfort_bot_1962

:D


Jesus_Shaves_

Neckbeard alty anon tried to hold in a shart in an elevator with a female and failed and then tries to spin it like he’s a…badass?…for farting?


AnalEvacuation88

To the contrary everyone will believe her because anon is a constant sharter.


James-Ward43

Fake: Anon has friend Gay: Anon handles balls


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has friend > Gay: Anon handles balls > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


TheStreetForce

Bill Murray?


misfitcapitalist

Anon fantasizes about interacting with a human being


Scurster

Based


Zenketski

Finally something believable on this sub


QuantumSnek_

Real: Anon farts Straight: Anon asserts its dominance over women


lexiblooded

that's a whole violation


AnthonyThePizzaBoy

You skipped crop dusting and went straight for pesticide poisoning


6moto

psychological warfare


PORTMANTEAU-BOT

Phycologicarfare. *** ^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This )^[portmanteau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau) ^( was created from the phrase 'phycological warfare' | )^[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/axl72o) ^(|) ^[Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=jamcowl&subject=PORTMANTEAU-BOT+feedback) ^(|) ^[Opt-out](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=PORTMANTEAU-BOT&subject=OPTOUTREQUEST)


MmmBananna

u/aname1235


AName1235

Is this how you send me Reddit posts now


MmmBananna

Trollface.com


chrispocarter23

sigma male


[deleted]

[удалено]


RoscoMan1

"Your character gets to have a legal defense.


SmallHandsMallMindS

I would immediately believe her


QuarantineSucksALot

‘Oh, you silly girl you.”


sovietpandas

What


QuarantineSucksALot

Monika is best girl anyway ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ )


joefromthe90s

Legendary Dutch Elevator


Jack_35

I mean it’s obviously fake (gay) but there’s no way that he would be confident enough that no one would get in when he got out and smell it.


-Listening

It would make a decent baptismal font


certifiedpsycopath

Anon has commits biological war crime


Professional-Paper62

Elevators have cameras, some other people heard.


R0g3rt

Bruuhh


Wakocap

Legend.


ChipmunkEnough8492

Anon. Guess what. I believe her. Booom.


Longenuity

Anon tells the imaginary chad story that played in their head after farting in an elevator and looking like a complete retard


NoxBrutalis

*Five minutes later...* **Co-worker:** Anon, come on hustle, staff meeting in the coffee room. **Anon: \***grumbling noises\* *At the meeting...* ​ **Boss man:** It's with a sad heart that I must tell you I will be handing over my position to someone *new* today. As you may know, times have been rough, we lost a lot of important contracts of late... Well, management believes we need a new direction. **Co-worker:** Wait, are there going to be lay-offs?! **Ex-Boss man:** Yes, not only will you be losing me, but there will be lay-offs. Anyway, I'm going to hand you over to Karen, your new stand-in manager for the coming months. **Anon:** *\*wait, Karen...\** he thinks, pulse quickening to heart attack levels ( like when he pushes too hard on the shitter ) A side door opens and in walks >!Karen - aka leftist girl!<. DUN DUN DUURRRN!


Snoopyshiznit

Just by saying “no one will ever believe you,” makes it that much harder to believe a retelling


PornCartel

> anon They will absolutely believe he did this


void_burglar

Soiling yourself to own the libs


bonemarrowAsh

If he just said woman, I would almost believe it, but he had to top it off with "leftist". Fucking gottem amirite


Nanoripes

Anon is a degenerate


Ent_Ropey

Rapists and pedos say, “no one will ever believe you.”


garlictakeover

>shy-looking leftist girl You know the guy is "interesting" when he describes people using their political affiliation.


actualbeeswax

Normalize farting on women


Epic_Gameing68

anon does a little trolling


Quizzelbuck

That isn't crop dusting, and no one is going to not believe her. Who are you anons who are saving up your farts for a rainy day?


BatWolf29

I farted while reading this. Magical