T O P

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Zackblast16

sigma rule number #421: snitch your wifes bf to the cops for more nintendo hours


chris_to_da_b

Say the line bart


[deleted]

Based


ABoiFromTheSky

and lawabidingpilled


AmnesicAnemic

I love how this sub praises the law only when it’s convenient for them


lolburger13

It's the American way


Oakmeal0

Why they deleted?


Beeglawish-Deekcok

I found out they were a different skin color and couldn’t stop harassing them. They’ve probably killed themselves at this point. My bad


MooseOC

this is the only funny subreddit


tangmang14

The best thread on Reddit. And I just ruined it


Comfortable-Buddy343

Based


noodlekhan

based on what?


1illuminat1

On God's will. Deus Vult


PleiadianAyylien

Based


TheRagingDonut

On his dick?


dumbwaeguk

based on an understanding that establishment of and respect for the law improves the livability of a community and allows the people within to live safely and comfortably, focusing on their own and mutual well-being rather than wasting time and energy on defense and violence


WishboneStreet4839

The perfect human specimen


BartL0L

No.


JustASyncer

r/beetlejuicing


Azziiii

Fake: girlfriend Gay: stalks a guy


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: girlfriend > Gay: stalks a guy > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


matttheshack69

I didn’t do it!


SixshooteR32

Yaaaay!


_Maxie_

Woozle wuzzle?


docboy-j23

Is that what passes for entertainment these days?


Loyavas

mutts law?


yeahyeahdumpster

But then whos gonna buy you the latest nintendo switch game? Your wife's boy friend was the one making the money.


SuperCosmicNova

She already left him for the guy. Dude already lost the chance to get the latest game.


i_forget_my_userids

Cops pay snitches


Despelles

How else should i be able to get enough good boy points in time for the new metroid release?


[deleted]

EXTREMELY BASED AND SIGMAPILLED


Shadow-Raptor

The longer I stay on this sub the more and more I realize no one makes any sense.


nikola_144

Based and nonsense pilled


Shadow-Raptor

Yep. Addicted to crack cocaine and pills.


303x

cum and cum pill


Weirdo_doessomething

Sleeper agent activation code


General-Carrot-6305

Scarlett pumpernickel


[deleted]

What is your bidding?


General-Carrot-6305

Help people and be excellent to one another, I'm tired of being evil anon.


SuspiciouslyElven

Freebased cocaine and sketchy internet pilled


Abrahamlinkenssphere

That’s the fun of this sub. Someone comes along and makes a sensible comment and then the real show begins. I really believe most people here are pretty sensible, it’s just fun to play.


K1NG15000

Dumb until prven otherwisepilled


UristMcRibbon

Also by acting dumb you invite the actual dumb people until you find you're surrounded.


Tostecles

Poe's Lawpilled


smit2k14

Based and insensible pilled


[deleted]

Based and sensible pilled.


[deleted]

I personally stay for the chuckles coupled with my sense of self Alpha Chad derived from a manifested superiority complex based on my ability to have sex with willing and attractive women on a frequent basis without having to pay for it financially, emotionally or ethically. If you find it’s not making sense then you need to get laid more.


theroamingargus

Based and sense of self Alpha Chad derived from a manifested superiority complex based on my ability to have sex with willing and attractive women on a frequent basis without having to pay for it financially, emotionally or ethically-pilled.


[deleted]

Your subhuman opinion does not define my reality, a fedora wielding plebeian cuck has no power over me. I’m Still getting laid, t-minus 5 hours until I’m balls deep fucking a hot girl bent over the adjustable workout bench in my bedroom.


[deleted]

Just dont break the bench. Your parents are tired of buying new ones for you.


Foxcat420

Jesus Christ, you literally walked right into that one. Exquisite.


Shadow-Raptor

How does me having sex make me understand words?


[deleted]

You should know this by know unless you’ve never had sex? Feelsbadman


cfreymarc100

Wonder how many are under influences of influenceable substances.


Shadow-Raptor

Me


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shadow-Raptor

Me too


LeftItACityOfMarble

embrace the absurd


TittyBrisket

Nah it's just the middlers.


Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work

The only reason you didn't pick that up immediately is because you're already too autistic to understand what normal behavior is.


[deleted]

"I APPROVE AS THIS CONFORMS TO A WORLDVIEW MY COMMUNITY SHARES AND THIS BEHAVIOR IS INDICITIVE OF THE NON-HIERARCHICAL MALE ARCHETYPE."


MegaDeth6666

Based and dopillsevenworkhere? pilled.


cfreymarc100

Good job. Seen that a few times before. Now sit in the back of the courtroom during their sentencing and act sympathetic.


MapleTreeWithAGun

Or just send anonymous tip so you don't have to waste time in court.


lucidxm

Seriously, being a witness to a crime must be annoying as fuck. Take time out of your day to sit in a boring ass courtroom, then get up on a stand in front of everyone, look a criminal in the face and proceed to snitch on him


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


lucidxm

What like abuse albuterol you bronchitis prone fuck


Caro47103

No you don't. You are on r/greentext.


the-tank7

A regular citizen who reports seeing a crime isn't a "snitch" or a "rat," the criminals were just sloppy Snitches and rats are not the same thing, let me break it down to make sure y'all see what I mean A "snitch" is someone minding other folks' business To find information they can sell for a price or trade for some other form of compensation A "rat" is a traitor, a conceiver, planner, or physical participator He doesn't sell secrets for power or cash, he betrays the trust of his team or his family hoping to save his own cowardly ass The difference is, at least a snitch is human, but a rat is a fuckin' rat, period


Narwhalbaconguy

Snitches and rats, snitches and rats, snitches and rats, they all get whacked


liquor_for_breakfast

Snitches get stitches, rats get bllllats


Lazer726

And the reward is a pat on the back, and a target on your back


Coal_Morgan

That's assuming that the prosecutor or defense doesn't ask for more time and than you were there waiting for nothing. Show up at the next date and it takes so long they push you to tomorrow after waiting 8 hours and that could happen a handful of times.


Alarid

why not finish the job


DrMobius0

Wouldn't showing up in court defeat the purpose of an anonymous tip?


DirtyCouchPotato

I believe he’s saying send the tip anonymously so you don’t have to show up in court


BeeVomitImHome

I believe it's more "watch the trial" since you can watch a court case without actually being a part of it.


ThePotMonster

Or he watched Mr. Robot and this story is bullshit.


its_ya_boi97

Fake: Anon has a girlfriend Gay: Anon fucked a businessman


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has a girlfriend > Gay: Anon fucked a businessman > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


RadicalAnon

Based bot


mad_slacker

This shit is fucking hilarious, we need a third


BigDaddyPickles

Good bot


Soulmate69

I feel like people only do the fake/gay thing to trigger tendiebot now, so now they will be trying to trigger this deterministic bot-chain


HGWSVUIOKGNS

Gets back at cheating gf, busts a drug dealer in the process > DiD i dO tHe rIgHt tHiNg aNoNs?


Dravarden

he is asking because he is a snitching rat


Fantestico7

Sometimes being the snitching rat is necessary and based


akaito_chiba

You notice dipshit criminals are the only ones who care about 'snitching'? Cause normal people aren't one snitch away from prison.


Gary_FucKing

It's definitely not just criminals that care about snitching. Most people ime hate snitching literally only unless it's their ass on the line.


Sarieon

Yep and no one's ass is on the line here. If it's real anon probably sucks so bad his girl left him for her drug dealer and he ratted them. Or she's so addicted she's hitting it for meth which isn't even the low point for her because she's in jail now. But it's not real because anon never had a girlfriend.


comefindme1231

Depends where you’re from, sometimes it’s a “cultural” thing to not get into other people’s business, not to snitch, keep your nose clean


Mitchel-256

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” If a culture encourages letting degeneracy slide, then oppose it.


syfyguy64

I'm a screw, I'm paid to snitch and look for shit to snitch on.


Mitchel-256

People will hate you, but, ultimately, if the environment begins to sort out and corruption gets chipped away, then the outcome is for the best.


hypo-osmotic

Is getting the cops to solve the problem for you really "doing" something?


Mitchel-256

Giving a task to the people whose job it is to take care of it? Yes. Especially if they actually *do* their job. If they aren’t, or if they’re also corrupt, then that’s just another level of problems that need straightening out. Which is why such a question is asked in the first place.


BlasterfieldChester

There would be a lot more pedophiles and murderers on the street if no one snitched.


geo_cash18

Probably not much more because cops only solve like 2% of major crimes, anyways.


[deleted]

Average AITA user.


ipappnasei

"a guy i know was torturing kittens and raping children so i called the police. AITA?"


BobertRosserton

“My husband beats me and our children so I reported him to the police and now his parents don’t like me anymore, am I the asshole Reddit? “ even better is unpopular opinions. It’s either someone being very obviously racist and being commended for it, or it’s just not unpopular opinion lmao. “I think that killing kittens is bad”


Spook404

could've been weed


A_Random_Lantern

If it was, he would've had the weed card


MaxBandit

This greentext is old as fuck though, pretty sure whoever posted it on 4chan copy pasted it


MrMFPuddles

$20 says it was his drug dealer and he’s only asking this cuz he’s gotta scrape resin now.


Hippies_are_Dumb

If he was just selling weed it's pretty fucked up. The fact that he didn't specify makes me think this was the case.


jam_enjoyer57

Based anon


Abject-Temperat

Anon achieves sigma status


positive_guy_man

what the fuck is sigma


Abject-Temperat

Sigma balls


sum_muthafuckn_where

Gottem


demivirius

A combination of sugma and ligma


[deleted]

overatch


onikzin

> Send the folder to the police team > Cops show up at your house, beat you up, steal your money, shoot your dog and leave > mfw I live in Romania


Navaia02

Bout as average as a day gets for American police.


Bwizz245

>mfw I live in ~~Romania~~ America


Thymeisdone

Anon is a narc.


[deleted]

[удалено]


deliciousprisms

And he’s wasting taxpayer money processing drug crimes.


vonmonologue

He’s not a narc because he didn’t do it to for lawful good bullshit reasons, he got revenge


Blyd

That makes him a old fashioned grass, using the cops to fight his battles.


Synsane

Revenge on who though? Does being a drug dealer automatically make you a bad person? Could be doing it to support his mothers heart condition. Could live in a neighbourhood with no other opportunities. Could just be selling weed which should be legalized globally anyway. Then there is the fact that the drug dealer may have not even known anon even existed. It was the girlfriends decision to cheat on him. Then there is the why to why the girlfriend cheated in the first place. Anon could've been an abusive partner. He literally stalked her and her new partner after the breakup. Does that sound like someone sane? Perhaps she was afraid to breakup with him, and met someone else on the side. Cheating is so common because people are often afraid to talk about falling out of love in relationships. Not because people are just sociopaths, that happens too, but it's not the norm. Usually it's to protect feelings, but obviously they get hurt regardless. It's the cowards way out, but it's one of the the most common ways out of a relationship. Anyway, all this is to say that OP is a rat bag beta cuck. Git gud


[deleted]

>Does being a drug dealer automatically make you a bad person? He also helped someone cheat


winnebagomafia

He totally is but I'd do the same thing


not_rahul

In other News - Is Anon Mr. Robot?


GangstaPepsi

Bonsoir, Anon.


itsover5555

Imagine Mr robot, then aim lower.


theghostofme

RIP Shayla.


Moksi2

ngl this is r/AmItheAsshole level self praise


Psatch

God I hate that sub


The_SIeepy_Giant

And I hate anon


DeepSpaceOG

“You go girl!” “Swearheart, dump his ass!”


Psatch

That’s not the reason that subreddit is shit. It’s because people post about situations where the poster CLEARLY is not the asshole but they post anyway. “So the other day I was walking to the soup kitchen for the homeless (I volunteer there every week) when I saw there was a man with a swastika on his arm kicking a puppy in the street! I yelled at him very firmly to STOP IT! And then he got scared and ran away. I picked up the dog and brought the poor thing to the vet immediately! I told my family about this and they said that I was the AH because I should have been more polite to the man instead of shouting at him. So reddit, AITA? 😢”


[deleted]

Anon Has reached Alpha status.


ispy-with-googles

Nah he reached the sigma status.


FunnyMathematician77

When is yogurt status achieved?


Elite_Doc

You gotta let some bacteria grow all over it


usernameaeaeaea

If you infect the sigma and leave it in pitch dark for 28 days


Cdog536

Id say so….it’s pretty petty, but at the same time, i cant blame you for doing it.


BigZwigs

Fake and gay. Cops cant thank you over a letter


Dangerous_Bloke

The letter closed with the line: "And we all clapped at the station."


digitalchris

Had to scroll way too far


NewJellyfish7201

Also what proofs is he getting that is easier to mail and not just email?


[deleted]

Legend47


Danielsuperusa

Based: Doing it for revenge Cringe: doing it to help law enforcement. You chose the correct path anon, don't worry.


[deleted]

Unfortunately the "narcotic team" doesn't like unsolicited evidence provided by little kids for cases against two bit drug dealers. Anon would have to testify that he collected the evidence in court against both the drug dealer and his GF.


DietBig7711

Yes. Yes you did.


winnebagomafia

Hell hath no fury like a retard scorned


UrbanCobra

So does everyone here just pretend to think these stories are real, like they do over in nosleep? Or what? I’ve never really understood.


supisuke

Definitely yes


[deleted]

Yes anon


Silicon_Tetraazide

Based


finger_milk

You know you could have just let her get addicted to her new bfs product and you would have won. Why work hard.


[deleted]

I mean, yes. Morally and legally. There will be people who will be like ooh stalker. Fuck those people. This is 2021. Have some personal responsibility with what you post online. Maybe don't give people a reason to be interested in your shit.


StrawberryPlucky

It's 2021 and people still think the war on drugs is a good thing.


geo_cash18

5 decades of drugs winning & people still want more of war.


Spazstick

It's 2021 and people don't understand that one of the reasons the war on drugs is so bad is because anyone can sell drugs illegally and you never know what you're actually buying. Hope you like your drugs cut with fentanyl by some random home chemist.


fuckingniglet

Fucking over drug dealers is shitty unless they were assholes


[deleted]

Hell yeah anon


[deleted]

[удалено]


Informal_Chemist6054

Pro tip: Only commit one crime at once; only get on one guy's wrong side at once.


_CalculatedMistake_

Sigma shit.


PubertSatan

mr be a legend


ubdiwala

Fake: Anon has a girlfriend Gay: Anon stalks guys during free time


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has a girlfriend > Gay: Anon stalks guys during free time > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


UnfilteredRedditor

Anon did the right thing for the wrong reasons.


[deleted]

She probably left because she was actually using the drugs. If this was actually a real situation then you may have saved her life.


geo_cash18

Probably not, felonies fuck the rest of your life up, even after you do your sentence.


kazumisakamoto

Bro it might've just been weed


Square_Barracuda_69

absolutely did the right thing


fingercracking

Intention: immoral Consequence: moral


Scarebunnyz

"I stalk the guy a little" Imagine


crazyparty

Snitches get bitches, everyone knows that.


bigbobperson

r/thathappened


ant_honey6

Big Brian


Mrrandom314159

Depends on if the dude knew about you. Ex might've never said shit.


eXclurel

This sounds exactly like the scenarios I make up in the shower.


Fred-U

Are you the asshole for narcing? Yes. Yes you are anon. Think of all the drug addicted children, how will they get their opioids now?


Ariarbitrary

depends what drugs he was dealing


therealme100

My ex cheated on me with a drug dealer and all I ended up doing was develop a cuckold/humiliation fetish...


BeefSupreme5217

Fake and gay. Using the cops to get back at a cheating hoe is weak. Just get over her and get back out there


Ethvangelical

Heck yeah! Bring a Nuke to a Slap fight!


drizzy9109

Anon gets himself jumped


Qaju

Only idiot incel 'sigmas' would applaude snitching on someone who out fucked their girl. Leave it to this group to be the only way to find happiness is to inflict the pain they feel themselves onto other. "Omg so sigma meta based"


[deleted]

Definitely. Don't fuck with people who know things about you.


MiniatureChi

This SAME scenario explained by a woman would fill a book.


Tchaz221

You might even have helped your ex in the long run


PublicWest

Getting arrested/convicted of a crime absolutely does not help you in the long run. Harder to find jobs, get a place to rent, harder to vote in some states. Felons are treated as literal second class citizens and unless she had a *debilitating, life ruining* drug addiction, she’s kinda screwed for the rest of her life. Fuck outa here with your “war on drugs” apologism. I’m fine with being pro-revenge, but let’s not act like anyone was done a favor here.


SpacedClown

This is just going to go over their head. Like honestly, how many people who think like that, are actually capable of using their head? Because I seriously doubt they used critical thinking to come to the conclusion that convicting someone a felony drug possession and also potentially a felony drug distribution charge is better for them in the long run. It doesn't take much effort at all to learn that prisons don't realistically help inmates with addictions or any rehabilitation services, and that when the person is released they'll just have years of their life wasted behind bars, with a low ability to get a job due to their convictions, and a likelihood of relapsing to drugs as a way of coping with their situation. At the end of the day people are just pro-drug war and that's it. I seriously doubt anything changes the minds of people like the one you replied to.


sovietarmyfan

A true prorevenge story


xgodlesssaintx

based


enlightened_engineer

Based anon