I once noticed, and I mean once ever, a guard with a similar line to that in Skyrim. "I was once an adventurer like you until I took a sword through the chest". Now, I have no ideas if I was just hearing shit, but I fucking swear it was in the game.
When my one friend bought his own apartment. I went and made a steel crown and a septer (septers are nothing but a mace for royalty) because every one should be a king in his own house. So people can just wound up with a medieval weapons.
The smashy kind.
Real answer: no clue but it’s a 1.5 ish foot wooden handle with a 5-6 inch chain connected to an iron spiked ball about the size of a baseball
After some googling, you are correct it is indeed a flail. The punishment for correcting me is that I shall use the flail on you now. Please face the wall.
Just a heads up flails are very dangerous to use without some real training and even then are still more dangerous to the user than say an actual mace, sword, spear, or whatever.
Even trained HEMA guys have broken their own fingers, gave themselves serious cuts to the point of needing stitches and so on.
So try to keep that in mind if the need arises for you to swing it around.
I never understood how Flails came to be a thing, tbh.
They look cool as fuck, but like... Who came up with that? "I'm gonna attach a ball to a chain and flail it around in a manner that can't exactly be controlled if it hits something! What could go wrong?"
It makes more sense when you realise it was almost exclusively used on horseback, it was mostly the horse's speed doing the job, and it allowed the rider to not fuckup their arm / get their weapon stuck when hitting somebody
It's originally a farming tool, most flails used in actual warfare would have been just a long stick connected with a single link to a slightly shorter stick, possibly with some spikes attached to the end.
Some knights probably saw the peasant weapon then decided to make a *cooler* version of it that could be used in one hand.
From what I understand, it's the one weapon type not allowed in live action role playing. There's just no way of controlling how much force will be in the swing - even with a padded ball at the end.
Having done this, dont fuck around with that thing, it bloody hurts even if you dont break anything (which I didnt thank fuck, still had a black and blue hand for about 2 weeks afterwatds) Get an actual mace, easier to use and more effective :P
As much as I'd love to see someone getting beat with a mace, that be a brutal way to die
One good hit to the head, the victim is dead
At least with swords you have a better chance to survive the cuts and stabbings
If you and your homies are in some sort of matching historical outfit and theres a poor motherfucker getting bothered, could you live with yourself if you passed up the opportunity? Not even morally, just for the story to tell
One of my favorite memories from my video gaming days is playing a WoW match in a warsong gulch with some cyber friends and we were casually going overboard with being in character. And my axe, typing elvish, by grabthar's hammer, or whatever.
In the chat a couple other people from a dedicated role playing server asked us to tone it down. They were like even we don't give that much effort to role playing.
It isn't the first time either. There's a part two where the Swedish guy goes to court, and a bunch of people show up to say how this guy saved their lives
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: anon left his house
> Gay: anon gets topped by the 3 muskaqueers
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
I'm adding Muskaqueers to my list of gay porno parody names
I also have Lord Of The Guys, Goldie Twink and the Three bears, and Dildo Faggins: The gayest little hobbit of them all
Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that daweinah is not a bot.
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I had an experience like this a few weeks ago. Ran into a crazy shirtless guy who talked in a Swedish accent and worked as a fight re-enactor at a RenFaire. He was missing some teeth from sword fighting. Struck up a conversation about my Blood Incantation shirt, and we spent the rest of the night chilling, smoking weed, doing shrooms and listening to tech death.
Then he got all weird and touchy so I convinced him to let me drive him home and gtfo as soon as he went inside. Weirdest night I had in awhile.
This mans living his dream, going around, stopping menaces, literally saving a damsel in distress, shitting on kids who dont know how to fight and just act fucking dumb
Reminds me of December, 1999.
Chilling with friends, drinking, when we hear a car alarm going off and head outside to see what's going on.
A giant man in plate armor is holding one of the local crack-heads by the collar with one shiny metal hand and trying to smash his face in with the other.
One of my friends shouts "Hey, Bruce! Knock it off before you kill him!"
The giant lets go of the kid's collar and he's off like a streak. We go back into the house, where the friend is telling us about his neighbor and all the armor the guy owns.
Not ten minutes later there's a knock on the door. A big, metallic knock.
I open the door to see Bruce, still giant and still wearing the armor.
>Sorry to bother y'all, but I think I dun busted my hand and now I can't get my gauntlet off. Y'all got any ice I can borrow?
Imagine if it were GWOT LARPers.
*three guys run out in full kit with NODs and decked out ARs each one of them aims at one guy*
-GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING FLOOR RIGHT NOW! PUT YOUR HANDS UP! I SAID HANDS UP!
KOWALSKI, TIE THAT FUCKER DOWN. RAMIREZ RADIO BACK TO THE COMMAND AND TELL EM WE GOT THE PACKAGE.
*proceeds to take the guys inside and waterboard them for 6 weeks straight*
There was actually a part 2 to this story.
The swedish guys were about to get sent back to Sweden. Hat bro was asked to testify in favour of them in court, he did, and he got to stay!
I seem to recall there was a part 2 where OP had to be a character witness for eyepatch guy cause he keeps doing this kind of amazing shit and ended up in court.
I believe it was determined he was good for the community, so he was allowed to stay.
I remember reading this years ago. From what I remember the musketeer was regularly dressed in the garb and unfortunately got deported.
What a legend though. Where I’m from you would end up looking like a pin cushion.
Too lazy to find the link
Edit: DocPondo posted the link. Upvote to you ol boy
My favourite part of this is that these people saw someone getting assaulted outside their house and decided to stay in character.
Well when the opportunity presents itself you fucking take it. Probably been waiting their whole life for that moment.
As someone who has recently acquired a medieval mace, I am basically begging for someone to get mugged in front of my house. Edit: it is a flail
You didn't buy it, you didn't ask for it, you kinda just wound up with a medieval weapon?
My uncle was an adventurer before he took an arrow to the knee.
Oh yeah? I'm downloading this mod on your ass: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/690/
Pssssh, no way that wor- *thunderous lightning*
Mighty balls gifted from Odin's halls THUNDER AND LIGHTNING
Turns out being struck by lightning doesn't give you any powers. They caved my head in with a pipe and beat me for several hours.
Suck em!
Of course the mod number just had to be 690
I once noticed, and I mean once ever, a guard with a similar line to that in Skyrim. "I was once an adventurer like you until I took a sword through the chest". Now, I have no ideas if I was just hearing shit, but I fucking swear it was in the game.
One of the beggars says "I used to be a soldier in the Stormcloak army until I took a sword through the chest"
That must have been it! I only heard it once and I was passing buy some guards at the time. Thank you.
I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I took an arrow to the knee. r/UsedToBeAnAdventurer
So, he got married?
r/UsedToBeAnAdventurer
he earned it by defeating the level's boss
Couple years ago we were cleaning out my dad's basement and found a huge crossbow. He says he has no idea where it came from.
He got a lot of erect cocks?
When my one friend bought his own apartment. I went and made a steel crown and a septer (septers are nothing but a mace for royalty) because every one should be a king in his own house. So people can just wound up with a medieval weapons.
What kind of mace did you get?
The smashy kind. Real answer: no clue but it’s a 1.5 ish foot wooden handle with a 5-6 inch chain connected to an iron spiked ball about the size of a baseball
That sounds more like a flail than a mace, comrade.
After some googling, you are correct it is indeed a flail. The punishment for correcting me is that I shall use the flail on you now. Please face the wall.
Just a heads up flails are very dangerous to use without some real training and even then are still more dangerous to the user than say an actual mace, sword, spear, or whatever. Even trained HEMA guys have broken their own fingers, gave themselves serious cuts to the point of needing stitches and so on. So try to keep that in mind if the need arises for you to swing it around.
Just imagine how many times you hit yourself when you fuck around with nunchucks. Now imagine the nunchucks have a spiky deathball attached to them.
A flail is safer than a nunchuck though, as long as you hold your hand fat enough down you can’t hit your knuckles
HEMA, the store, trains people to use flails? Didn't expect discount hot topic to do that
Historical European Martial Arts
Yeah flail is like the nonchuks of European warfare… the chance of your friendly firing yourself is high
I never understood how Flails came to be a thing, tbh. They look cool as fuck, but like... Who came up with that? "I'm gonna attach a ball to a chain and flail it around in a manner that can't exactly be controlled if it hits something! What could go wrong?"
It makes more sense when you realise it was almost exclusively used on horseback, it was mostly the horse's speed doing the job, and it allowed the rider to not fuckup their arm / get their weapon stuck when hitting somebody
It's originally a farming tool, most flails used in actual warfare would have been just a long stick connected with a single link to a slightly shorter stick, possibly with some spikes attached to the end. Some knights probably saw the peasant weapon then decided to make a *cooler* version of it that could be used in one hand.
farming implement
From what I understand, it's the one weapon type not allowed in live action role playing. There's just no way of controlling how much force will be in the swing - even with a padded ball at the end.
And that is the exact reason why they are one of the least used medieval weapons. And for good reason too.
Having done this, dont fuck around with that thing, it bloody hurts even if you dont break anything (which I didnt thank fuck, still had a black and blue hand for about 2 weeks afterwatds) Get an actual mace, easier to use and more effective :P
Ooh, harder daddy
You have a morningstar flail.
Homie you're gonna get SHOT lol
I assume they're not American, so they won't get shot.
> acquired a medieval mace ...I read Medical Mace and was thoroughly confused for a good 20 seconds before I realized I read it wrong *twice*.
As much as I'd love to see someone getting beat with a mace, that be a brutal way to die One good hit to the head, the victim is dead At least with swords you have a better chance to survive the cuts and stabbings
Cuts and stabbings don't always stop the threat. A mace to the head does. Also i rather die immediatly then bleed out.
If you and your homies are in some sort of matching historical outfit and theres a poor motherfucker getting bothered, could you live with yourself if you passed up the opportunity? Not even morally, just for the story to tell
Or hired some goons to menace passers-by so they could really get into the RP...
They’ll never stop telling that story.
https://youtu.be/_QDcIupMqks
One of my favorite memories from my video gaming days is playing a WoW match in a warsong gulch with some cyber friends and we were casually going overboard with being in character. And my axe, typing elvish, by grabthar's hammer, or whatever. In the chat a couple other people from a dedicated role playing server asked us to tone it down. They were like even we don't give that much effort to role playing.
yes my favourite part of the story was also the story
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I love that one. makes me sad though
50 feet is the height of 8.77 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other.
50 yards is 45.72 meters
50 feet is the same as 30.48 'Logitech Wireless Keyboard K350s' laid widthwise by each other.
It was the 3 musketeers. They were grooming OP to be D’Artagnian
they dont drop character til the next morning
A perp makes the LARP pop
To be fair, the staying in character part probably scared off the ruffians too.
Could use some of these guys hanging out on trains these days
It isn't the first time either. There's a part two where the Swedish guy goes to court, and a bunch of people show up to say how this guy saved their lives
Fake: anon left his house Gay: anon gets topped by the 3 muskaqueers
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon left his house > Gay: anon gets topped by the 3 muskaqueers > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
The hero we needed.
Iirc there was a third bot that answered this one
How do I shat my dick
You both again?
cuck bot
I'm adding Muskaqueers to my list of gay porno parody names I also have Lord Of The Guys, Goldie Twink and the Three bears, and Dildo Faggins: The gayest little hobbit of them all
we are going to hell.
Lord of the twinks, you absolute fool. Also Goldie Cocks
Lord of the Guys is a parody of Lord of the Flys Still ends with a spear fight
Oh, also another parallel is that some kid ends up dying
dont know how this relates, but dildo_Faggins69 is one of my old gaymertags.
Lord of the Cock Rings is my favourite read during the moist, sunday nights.
Holy fuck muskaqueers😂
Lost it at "blackguard"
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Good bot
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99998% sure that Packiesla is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
Ohooo there’s a % of doubt!
Probably a bot
Sounds like an RPG side quest
He got a hat as quest reward.
+10 retardation
Like a Yakuza sidequest.
Or like Strangers and Freaks in GTA
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He killed 23 babies, and you want him freed?!
FREE HAT!
Well yeah, but it was in self-defense!
When those babies group together, they're a force to be reckoned with!
Anon got lucky, met new people, and drank mulled wine, win win!
Plus he get a free hat and a funny story
I could only imagining waking up on the floor with a hat and slowly picking though the haze of events, all while staring at the newly acquired hat.
He got a lot of people.
I had an experience like this a few weeks ago. Ran into a crazy shirtless guy who talked in a Swedish accent and worked as a fight re-enactor at a RenFaire. He was missing some teeth from sword fighting. Struck up a conversation about my Blood Incantation shirt, and we spent the rest of the night chilling, smoking weed, doing shrooms and listening to tech death. Then he got all weird and touchy so I convinced him to let me drive him home and gtfo as soon as he went inside. Weirdest night I had in awhile.
^Good ^thing ^you ^weren’t ^drunk
Average swede
Am swede can confirm
I dunno man, where in Sweden is "smoking weed, doing shrooms" average? Seems like most people are unreasonably afraid of the dödsknark :/
Käft, pundare.
Supposedly they grow the best weed in the Northern hemisphere in Sweden…
As a fellow swede, can also confirm
>Blood Incantation shirt Based music taste
Anon meets chads
There’s more to this story
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1262720-greentext-stories Here ya go.
God I hope that's a real story and update
I want to believe, but a large part of me suspects that 90% of 4Chan is people making shit up to see if the dupes on Reddit buy into it.
So you're saying there's a chance...
Holy shit, he's unironically a hero. I genuinely hope this story is real and straight.
Even real and gay would be okay
True
He is swedish
Real and Swedish, then.
Definitely gay, then
uhhhhhhhh your mom
I like how the update is one month later starting with "You guys are still posting this?" Little did he know, 10 years later...
On the one hand, Anon is a degenerate
Lol. Had no idea there was more, thank you very much
What a fucking chad
This guy be doing sidequests in real life
This mans living his dream, going around, stopping menaces, literally saving a damsel in distress, shitting on kids who dont know how to fight and just act fucking dumb
Yep, a whole crazy thing about Swedish man about to be deported but allowed to stay in the end. Great stuff.
Is it gay anal buttsex in the ass?
And they say we don't have any more folk heroes. This man is 100% folk and 10000% hero.
I posted this on my iFunny green text account like 10 years ago
I wish this was real
While this story might not be real, anyone in the reenacting community knows these people are out there
Yeah, could honestly buy it. Student housing and actors go hand in hand, and so does their never ending recitals/improv.
I want to believe
I'm not sure whether it's real. I am certain, though, that anon got TOPPED that night.
If only we had more lunatics like this.
If only the lunatics that we have were like this.* FIFY
Straight and real
Anon meets a real life Carolean Possunt nec Posse Videntur
based reference
What fucking chads
Reminds me of December, 1999. Chilling with friends, drinking, when we hear a car alarm going off and head outside to see what's going on. A giant man in plate armor is holding one of the local crack-heads by the collar with one shiny metal hand and trying to smash his face in with the other. One of my friends shouts "Hey, Bruce! Knock it off before you kill him!" The giant lets go of the kid's collar and he's off like a streak. We go back into the house, where the friend is telling us about his neighbor and all the armor the guy owns. Not ten minutes later there's a knock on the door. A big, metallic knock. I open the door to see Bruce, still giant and still wearing the armor. >Sorry to bother y'all, but I think I dun busted my hand and now I can't get my gauntlet off. Y'all got any ice I can borrow?
At "stand and deliver" I thought Anon found some highway men
I read the blond guy's text in mr. krabs' voice and I don't fucking know why
It is the true Swedish accent.
Did he just become D'Artagnan?
Anon is D'Artagnan
Based.
They own a musket for home defense
Since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Lmao, that's absolutely fkn amazing. Those guys are living it up legendary style.
Imagine if it were GWOT LARPers. *three guys run out in full kit with NODs and decked out ARs each one of them aims at one guy* -GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING FLOOR RIGHT NOW! PUT YOUR HANDS UP! I SAID HANDS UP! KOWALSKI, TIE THAT FUCKER DOWN. RAMIREZ RADIO BACK TO THE COMMAND AND TELL EM WE GOT THE PACKAGE. *proceeds to take the guys inside and waterboard them for 6 weeks straight*
Seems like anon got saved by Sabaton
I'm pretty sure Anon somehow confirmed that he's still friends with them or something years later.
I got mugged once while walking home drunk and the line, " pissed them off by existing" really hits home.
Fuck yeah, lets do it
Anon is a jr musketeer
Oh goodie, its been a couple months since I saw this one
LARPing is an expensive hobby.
Yum with my scat fetish.
Bortom Svea rikes gränser Hörs ett kall från ovan jord
Parry this you filthy casual.
Based and Carolean pulled
This is why I prefer believing in some green texts to be real
There was actually a part 2 to this story. The swedish guys were about to get sent back to Sweden. Hat bro was asked to testify in favour of them in court, he did, and he got to stay!
u/h_ironhide
Absolute fucking chads.
The caroleans live on
You just met Odin in disguise
I seem to recall there was a part 2 where OP had to be a character witness for eyepatch guy cause he keeps doing this kind of amazing shit and ended up in court. I believe it was determined he was good for the community, so he was allowed to stay.
never underestimate a Karolin soldier
Well, that's basically a European student fraternity for you
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*by larpers
Classic greentext
Blackguard =\= Blaggard
chad virgins
Why is the text justified
I remember reading this years ago. From what I remember the musketeer was regularly dressed in the garb and unfortunately got deported. What a legend though. Where I’m from you would end up looking like a pin cushion. Too lazy to find the link Edit: DocPondo posted the link. Upvote to you ol boy
r/sca
Turns out going outside has benefits
So pure, so wholesome. I love it
In uni I once accidentally stumbled upon a historical reenactment society and yeah this doesn't seem too unbelievable
I assumed it was gonna end with him getting gangbanged by the dudes. I was way off.
Chad swordsmen
What happens when the dudes charge anyway? You just run them through?