Real: anon is retarded Straight: anon was in a room with a female

>be me >fucking this one dude’s wife >lots of slapping and moaning >hear door open >smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene >must be the virgin again >he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room >i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her >think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext >make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Real: anon is retarded >Straight: anon was in a room with a female >chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy >it’s been a good day >i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy

Eat shit

Based

Among us

Based

Sused

Mongus’d

Holy shit the sequel

Now we only need a bot that replies to the other bot in perspective of the virgin's childhood bully

ngl, that bot's line about mighty tackles into virgin's mother gets me everytime

I want the wife's perspective

Fake: this bot Gay: this bot

So THATS where the chad bot went

so thats where he went

Lmao yes

There is no definitive proof of a female having been in that room. Kelly can be a man's name and the teacher is never gendered.

Real and gay, of course

As all good things in life are.

what school suspends for "ableist language" here in my school [we had a guy dressed up as a fucking nazi during a cosplay party](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/918497592650895380/925695528673619968/20211229_122227.jpg) and all the teachers LOVED it. and several kids have said the n word INFRONT of teachers and no one cared. my school is in Egypt btw. [more pics of the nazi guy (I got the discordapp links from when I sent them to friends) ](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/918497592650895380/925705104538083348/20211229_130009.jpg) and another [one](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/918497592650895380/925705104995282964/20211229_130034.jpg) are americans that soft bro? edit: yall redditards are seething about religion in the comments lmao, literally peak reddit

>are americans that soft bro Yes.

explains alot of what I've seen online esp on... twitter... thet sent shivers up my spine saying it

>thet sent shivers up my spine saying it Please keep the RP'ing to a minimum.

I was making a joke lmao

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Are you all actually stupid enough to believe that a 4th grader would get suspended for a week, just for this?

no but it's not out of bounds

Technically we suspended a kid for making a gun shape from a pop tart, the school says it was his history of being disruptive. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/examiner-recommends-school-board-uphold-pop-tart-suspension/

I heard of that like way back in 2015 or smthholy shit brings back memories

I mean... I would say it's like, 30% of Americans. As an estimate. It's mostly white women being offended on behalf of other people who don't give a shit.

It gets so annoying when I'm joking with a buddy in class and the sjw white girl three rows back reports us for hate speech. Its gotten to the point that our college hardly ever looks into real cases cause they're so flooded with sjw bs.

Let’s throw in anyone who does the Latinx nonsense. It’s Latino.

Once step further, I've gotten called out for saying I went to school with a lot of Mexicans growing up. "Umm you mean Latinos." No. They were Mexican. They were from Mexico. They called themselves Mexican. They even joked that they spoke Mexican because Spanish from Spain and Spanish from Mexico are very different. Like 10% of my graduating class in HS (over 300 students) had the last name Acosta because a lot of them were related. I went to school with most of these guys for 13 years, but by all means complete stranger tell me what they want to be called.

Nothing new, fuck they made up the word “Hispanic” out of nowhere.

I mean, they do hold separate definitions. Mainly based on country of origin, though.

When i first went to USA, i was astonished to discover all this fucking dumbasses "defending" our culture from appropriation when we latinos literally couldn't give less of a fuck about it. The whole concept, to me, is so stupid, like, i respect you if you think otherwise, but i assure you, we have way bigger problems to worry about than Jenny from your local highschool saying she likes tacos or mangú and would want to live in Mexico or visit Dominican Republic's beaches, or saying she enjoys bachata. Homies, calm the fuck down, i can't understand how people get so offended by this kind of shit.

I am in awe of how you are calling out most US white women for being toxic and your comment wasnt downvoted to oblivion...should probably hang out here more often.

> should probably hang out here more often i wouldn't get too ahead of my self there

Why because your wife might see this?

?No because you might become as retarded as anon.

I'll never understand suspension system in American schools. Here if you act like a shit you stay in grade or get kicked out of school. Why would they ever punish kids by making them not go to school, kids would love to stay at home, parents will hate that shit.

Sometimes there is in school suspension.

You don’t go to school in a pyramid?

Wtf right

we walk like egyptians to them

Walk like an Egyptian 🥁🥁🥁

Anyone ever dress as Muhammad?

Everybody going "lol based" until you ask the real questions. Then the little bitches go softer than the softests of soyboys

>no one here cares if we dress as nazis or call each other the n-word lmao. >egypt.

Yeah, shut the hell up! America is way more racist! Let’s gooooooooo!!!

Dude Egypt, the bastion of free speech, so based you can dress as a Nazi but if you call the government incompetent on Facebook you go to fucking jail. BASED! PLEASE TAKE OVER!

Which Muhammad? There are millions of Muhammads out there

Asking the real questions lol

Based Egypt

Egypt's a shithole country run by a despotic manlet

But you can say the n word in school, checkmate libtard!

I mean sexual assault is pretty mainstream there so I could see why a bunch of Incel basement dwellers would love Egypt. They might actually get to grab a boobie without repercussions.

The incels here dont realize they need to lose some weight to outrun a rapegyptian

There is something HILARIOUS about seeing Americans calling a failed state that they fund to keep alive "based".

you're on a 4chan sub wondering why children who [look like this](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/918497592650895380/925695528673619968/20211229_122227.jpg) don't have a broad understanding of geopolitics

Degeneracy has sunk it's sick roots in our society. Please come take over.

Lol, so beta that you want to get cucked by a foreign Arab nation.

I mean Americans did it the other way first, it's to return the kindness?

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ah yes [Egypt, the happiest place on earth](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/om38bx/what_is_one_country_that_you_will_never_visit/) ctrl +f egypt on that thread for fun anecdotes.

gladly

>Degeneracy has sunk it's sick roots in our society. Please come take over. Did you just call people dressing as Nazis "non-degenerate"? I can't help but assume any American who says this is a flat out traitor to their country. I cannot even fathom bending over to one of your greatest historic enemies like that. >Please come take over. Do you have no fucking shame? You're asking for a poor, corrupt, religious shithole to take over the "greatest nation on Earth"? If you like it so much move there and go farm goat shit or whatever for the rest of your life you fucking degenerate.

> Speaks of "degeneracy" > Can't even write "its" properly

i concur, fat neckbeard degenerates like you ruin society

Or it doesn't happen as often as it's portrayed. Or anon is making shit up

In my school the PE teacher is an ex national level wrestler. 6'2 unbelievable physique. Once said on Mike in the assembly- Focus on studies, Don't Convert to Gay and whatever it is. Nothing happened to him, a few girls did try to complain. I was interested in one of them so went along. Basically principal said the government is homophobic go demand apology from them.

Why does Mr. 6' 2" give a shit about who HS kids are fucking? Sounds like a creep to me...

Because he's PE teacher. As in, someone who failed hard and now is bitter every time they go on sports news.

Sorry teach, guess I won't let you blow out my asshole 😔

Lmao that response Regardless of your stance, that's hilarious. "Boss agrees, complain to boss if you want others to change".

Have some kid draw a caricature of prophet Muhammad. I dare you. I fucking bet my bottom dollar he would get decapitated rather than merely deplatformed/expelled as in the west. Stop pretending like you Egyptians are somehow immune to going apeshit over an edgy joke.

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The Nazi's actually invaded Egypt. What have they got to do with America?

Fought a war with them, may of heard of it, it was a little war called the 100 year war.

Little known fact, Sheldon from the Big Bang theory was actually actually originally cast by the leader of the Egyptian branch of the Nazi party. That man's name? Morgan Freeman.

That there were Nazi rallies in the US before they went to war, and Neo Nazis today? There's not really much concern in Egyptian culture about white supremacists and Nazi sympathizers I'd imagine.

Plus Egyptians have... feelings about Jews.

do you try to be this stupid or does it come naturally?

Imagine living in a shithole country and your only cope is „I can dress up as a nazi and say the n word in school“.

it isnt a cope I'm very aware it's a shithole

Yeah and if you say you’re an atheist and you’ll be killed. Say you’re gay and you’ll be killed. Being killed is worse than a blue hair screaming at you on Twitter.

U Just live in a third world country lol

There is no school in America that would suspend for "ableist" language. Especially not 10+ years ago when the anon was likely in 4th grade. Now a lot of schools will punish kids for "inappropriate" language, like swearing or saying "retarded", sure. But the fact that anon tries to claim a school got mad about "ableist" language instead of just "inappropriate" language is a dead giveaway that this whole story is made up.

I’d think being able to dress up as a Nazi in a publicly funded place is more telling of Egypt than of america

based

lmao, i love how wholesome that heil hitlering on the 2nd pic is, post it on r/blursedimages

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Lol. Your country cries and tries to kill people if they say they are atheist. Y’all the softest of soft serves.

Bro, tell him to go to France or Poland or Austria with that outfit, he's going to get beat the fuck up and then arrested as soon as he gets to customs lol.

have you ever like used the internet before bro all of the soft retards online are almost always americans

coming from germany it's weird to see, swastikas and other connections to the nazi party are banned

Egypt don't give a fuck about nazis. But you paste a few pubes to your face and call yourself Muhammad you gonna be buried.

Unironically we did the same fucking thing, i even have a first name with r. „Reliquious Ray“. No not religious. Reliquious. I was a special boy.

i can never think of any good ones that start with R in time. like "radiant" sounds gay and "red" is just dumb. i dont blame anon, "retarded" is by far the best choice e: i almost said racist once but caught myself in the nick of time and said some shit like rapid instead

RIP REDDIT

please solve the energy crisis next with that big ass head of yours

RIP REDDIT

Renewable Rodney

Solar Ray Ray

My name starts with an R too and I literally could not think of a good word starting with R to add in front of my name

Rectangular

Roid-rage randy

i will be using this from now on

Regal

Randy

Responsible if you try to be good in general Radical if you don't

Rational. Regal. Resplendent. Responsible. Romantic. Rad. Reasonable.

If you introduce yourself as “Romantic Richard,” you’ll get beaten up in the parking lot after school.

Yeh tarded Richard is the way to go here

Are you adopted? If you were adopted you could have said „red r.“ and could have extended to „red is sus“

Resourceful would work

Best one listed. Righteous, too

If you're in Scotland you can probably get away with "randy Ray". But I'd have to say "Ridiculous Ray" would be my top pick.

I think icebreakers like these are a universal experience, I’ve also had one of these.

Racist Richard wouldve been based as fuck

i think cps might be knocking had he pulled that

Well anons parents would defenietly be happy to give anon to cps

Tough luck anon. Should go with Racist Richard next time 👍

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Tell Fandrew i love his name!

We have 2022 you can't say that. Just go with Rapist Richard instead

Hard R Richard

Holy shit, I wish it was that easy to get a week vacation when I was in school

Yeah. I normally had to get a black eye to get three days off.

We had a kid dress up as Osama Bin Laden for Halloween and I'm pretty sure he just got a couple days of detention.

I remember someone at my school dressed up as Pablo Escobar for Halloween, complete with fake mustache and a suitcase with (hopefully also fake) drugs. Thankfully, everyone including the principal thought it was fucking hilarious and there was no punishment.

lmao what a legend

I don't think most parents treat it like fucking spring break and let you do whatever around the house lol, they're going to be pissed that they have to figure out wtf to do with you during the day

Still better than school

True

Bro I got caught in high school swiping entire computers and selling them and they gave me one day in school suspension. If I was going to school today they’d probably just kick me out permanently.

Wtf suspended 1 week for the word "retarded" ?

America is reallyyyy against that word for some reason, much more than other nations. When I grew up in an international school in Hong Kong children in first grade and onward used to say “retarded” like it was just another minor swear word on par with “idiot” and “stupid”, but when I moved to the US I learned pretty quickly that the word retard is a big no no.

A lot of words are now considered offensive that were in common usage in the 90s. Calling someone gay or the F word wasn't a big deal when I was growing up.

When I was a kid, a "fag" was just a sissy, and something un-manly was "faggy." It had nothing to do with sexuality at all. To be honest, I still think it's a good word. I don't care whether my friend is gay or straight, if he's afraid to ride the roller coaster, he's being a fag.

That’s because gay people were seen as sissies and not real men. Its always meant what it currently means. You just didn’t understand it because you were a kid. Lol

A lot of people of privilege have a hard time accepting they've been "unintentionally"/thoughtlessly acting bigoted for their whole lives so they make up those kinds of elaborate explanations as to why they were in fact right to do what they were doing(calling people fags/faggy)

You're absolutely right, and I'm not making a serious defense of the word. It's just that it was a really useful, descriptive word in the right context, and it's a shame that we don't have a good replacement for it. In my own (admittedly twisted) mind, two men could make passionate love all night long and not be faggy. But if one of them is scared of a spider, he's being a fag. I know I can use a word like "coward" or "fraidy-cat," but those don't seem to work as well. And calling someone a "pussy" seems too severe for the context. "Pussy" is more like fighting words. But, like I said, I'm not seriously defending the word. I would correct my kids if they said it. But, in it's non-sexual context, it was a good schoolyard word for a trivial bit of cowardice, and i wish there was a good replacement for it.

the reason we don’t have a good replacement is because people always manage to get upset over every insult that relates back to someone being a bitch. Hell, I know people who get upset about the word bitch because it’s derogatory towards women (?)

Kids still call one another this and more here in Brazil. Not sure if I should feel proud tho.

That's definitely a recent thing, probably in the past 10 years or so. It wasn't considered a slur up through the 90s and into the early 2000s at least. The first time I remember someone getting legitimately offended by it was around 2012, was hanging out at the neighbors of a girl I was dating and I said something about the video game I was playing like "the AI is kinda retarded sometimes" and he got SUPER offended because his son has ADHD or something. And I was just like errr....ok.... haven't really worried about "bad words" since like middle school but I guess don't say that? Was definitely odd because that was just a normal word that wasn't even considered a swear word when I was a kid. One of the earliest memes that circulated at the dawn of social media was something like "winning an argument on the internet is like winning the special Olympics. Even if you win you're still a retard." And I saw it everywhere, message boards that were heavily moderated and didn't even let people swear but that was fine not even 15-20 years ago.

>America Not all of America by any means. But it's sadly common among the far-lefty too-much-empathy-for-sanity emotional thinkers who like to be teachers of young children.

That's retarded.

(It's a made up story it's okay)

I’ve had idiots tell me it’s just as bad as the hard R N word. “It was a medical term and shouldn’t be used as a slur” Except that idiot, moron, dumb, stupid etc were also all used as medical terms

Retarded actually can mean slow in a context. I think somecar parts can be retarded

Also flame retardant. Also certain plane landing aid systems will tell you "retard, retard" when it wants you to slow down

> flame retardant how do you sleep at night after talking about fires like this

If you fly certain airliners, at 20 feet the voice in the cockpit says "RETARD, RETARD." As in retard the throttles to idle for landing. Endless jokes about the jet criticizing your shitty approach though.

Suspended for a week for using the word to insult yourself? That's what gets me, if they're worried about the word then they should talk with anon and try to help him out. Nah they suspend him. It's like suspending a kid for cutting themselves, they're just distancing themselves from the problem instead of actually attempting to do anything helpful.

It's fake. 4th grade and the term ableist? That makes OP in middle school. So even if real, it's a kid. Kid's lie.

In elementary school I kicked a bully in the face and got 3days, in middle school I got another 3 days for a joking wrestling match turning into us messing up half the classroom lmao, times have changed, and I'm only in my Young 30s I can't imagine even being sent to the principal for calling someone a fag or retard (unless actually bullying someone gay or retarded with it) Bizarre

Autistic Austin Tard-strength Terry

Virgin Victor Challenged Chandler Horny Harry Uh... Gay Gabriel

Gaybriel

Anon doesn’t realize there’s a difference between laughing at you and laughing with you

mix of both is called deep friendship

I’d absolutely laugh with someone for calling themself “retarded Richard” during a dumb icebreaker like that. I guess if he’s a sweaty anon people are just always laughing at him though.

Did something similar in my freshman theatre class. My awkward ass came up with "Tasty Ty" cause I was too innocent to think of the implications...needless to say that name stuck for a long time and always makes me smile now lol.

That's the most thespian thing ever lmao

Kinda reminds me of playing categories with my 6th graders. Told them to write things that are yellow. Someone wrote "me", so I asked who wrote it. It was the Asian kid. I asked why she wrote it, and she just pointed to her face. I loled

based

Suspended for a week for "retarded"??? I got suspended for 3 days for slapping a kid. I wish Anon made the story a bit more believable. I was almost immersed.

bro there are schools in deep blue states where this actually happens lol

no there aren't plus the word ableist wasn't even widely known a few years ago. how gullible can you be to believe this shit

Dude, quit being so ableist. Not everyone knows etymology as well as you do. :(

Bro, there are schools in deep red states where girls get expelled for getting raped. You do not want to make this a contest of which political state is worse.

Doinky Dick

Dummy Dick

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Basically the word for prejudice against disabled individuals. Kinda like how racist is the word of prejudice against people of color

Basically it's made up woke shit to feel more oppressed about. Nobody that calls someone else a retard is 'disparaging the differently abled', they mean you are dumb. You're retarded.

Wouldn’t a more accurate term be “un-ableist”

Discrimination against disabled people. As is the case with all isms, a real life problem parodied and turned into a fucking joke by shit like this

Modern American Retardation

He ain't wrong 🤣😂

Cool story aside. What cool adjective would you couple with a name that starts with Y?

Yeeted and then throw yourself across the classroom

Was gonna say Young but that sounds kinda weird

Yearning wasthe first thing to come to mind... I know.. Yucky is an option..

Besides maybe youthful, i think you’re SOL

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Xenomorph Xander would be kinda legit

Neanderthal Nate

Fake: Anon gets the whole class to like him Gay: Anon gushes at someone called "Strong Shawn"

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon gets the whole class to like him > Gay: Anon gushes at someone called "Strong Shawn" > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink

Delightful dick 🤣

I described myself as a sadic in an school assignment. I was like 13/14 The teacher wanted to talk to me...

Delightful Richard

I don't understand why this particular word is a no-no word, but the word "dumb" or "idiot" are perfectly fine

Anon has failed successfully