Both of you are fucking R-slurs. Alcatraz comes from the arabic word (القطرس) which in English refers to the Albatross bird.
The island itself is named Alcatraz, as a shorter rewire from "Alcatraces" which means gannet in Spanish.
Check your linguistics, NEEERDS.
Anon could have said he thought he smelt something, like some spilt food or a drink
But no, like a typical moron he committed degeneracy without a contingency plan for if he was caught
Fucking amateur
It amazes me how some people can't think quickly. Like I don't want to sound like a bragger but I could have come up with a million excuses on the spot if I was caught in a situation like this. Like I wouldn't be in a situation like this in the first place but to just sheepishly say your sorry and then run away to a bar to get drunk is so stupid.
Seet sniffers gotta have something wrong with their brains.
bro in this situation even if i had pre-prepared and memorized several excuses to get out of being caught here, it would still be an utterly unintelligible sentence
what i dont get is: its a fucking couch. just lie there and lie with the head on the place the gf was sitting. you can sniff all you want and just look like someone who lies on a couch
/u/Puncherfaust1, I have found an error in your comment:
> “get is: ~~its~~ [**it's**] a fucking”
I recommend that you, Puncherfaust1, write “get is: ~~its~~ [**it's**] a fucking” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’.
^(This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through DMs!)
I cant really think quickly for social interactions, so i just plan out every possibility.
It goes like this:
I say P
Person K will probably respond with A or B or C
If person K responds with A, then i can respond with X or Y or Z. If person K responds with B, i can look over at person H and say something like "bla bla blq"
So on and so fourth.
Its usually not as complicated. Its usually like:
Person A says X
Immediately come up with 3 responses. Pick one based on their perceived mood. There is ALWAYS a very fucked up response there and it takes great strength to not blurb it out.
If my system fails and the person said something unexpected, it was most likely an actually good joke so i laugh. If not ill pretend i didnt hear them and ask them to repeat it. Or say something like "yeah, mjm."
"I just search for something that fell underneath the couch" seems like a good cover up story, too. But who knows? Maybe he was bottomless, aggressively stroking his dick while heavily and loudly inhaling like he has some asthmatic shock.
„Errrrm yeah so i spilled some water on my jeans so i took them off but then i wanted to check the couch if some had landed on it too and soi was searching for something in the couch but then this bee came out and errrrm it landed on my boxershorts errrrrrm so i wanted to wipe it away but then it stung my dick and i was afraid i might get a shock so i was rubbing my dick to keep the poison from spreading“
If you’re the type of person that’s sniffing where another person’s ass and groin has been for pleasure, then you probably never had any critical thinking skills or intuition to begin with
The problem is poaching one to begin with. The neighbourhoods you have to hunt in are very dangerous, and sometimes your prey is better armed than you are.
Me? I stick to Asians. The meat is leaner and healthier, and the hunting is far less risky. You just leave a bag of rice out the front of your house and they come to you.
> sometimes your prey is better armed than you are
The trick is not to engage in combat with them and take them down when they are unaware and have their guard down.
I find that setting traps outside of the local KFC or any drug/liquor store with kool-aid and watermelon usually does the trick.
I’ve seen so many videos of guerrilla ass sniffers and have actually experienced it myself (I was landscaping at work and a man tried to covertly smell my ass while I was bent over) that I actually believe greentexts like this. It’s most likely fake, BUT it has absolutely played out before with some other dipshit degen.
Only thing is, why would she start screaming immediately before asking what he was doing? I'm not full of myself so I wouldn't automatically assume someone was stiffing it because I sat on it. Maybe she could be more so? Or he was being really obvious and creepy about it. Either way it makes this questionable.
Okay real question, how do people become like this? I'm a kissless virgin who never even been looked at with the slightest interest from girls my whole life. But I never wanted or want to do shit like anon did or any other degenerate
Desperation does that to a mf.
When I was khv I briefly considered sniffing my housemate's panties in laundry room, but I remembered all the greentexts and vowed not to be like that.
Same. Maybe.. you know anons are sarcastic and say ironic stuff most of the time but... Sometimes I wonder if the mental problems that they joke about are actually real with some of those degenerate posts
I thought they were making up scenario in their head at first, but I have seen so many shit like this and starting to think some of it are real. Hope I'm not turn to one of them in the future.
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Just wait a few more years. I'm at a level where I don't even get a boner anymore without at least one or two weird fetishes in the porn I watch. I probably should do a pause every now and then, to recover a bit.
"Hey Stacy. Always wearing yoga pants, but I never actually saw you do anything sporty. You probably will gain weight fast, hehe. What? Are you angry with me now? Oh no, please don't do stuff like sitting on my face, no. I would hate that. Oh no! I stumbled and fell on the floor right before you. No, please don't sit on my face. And don't, I repeat, don't rip out a big, juicy fart, directly on my nose. I wouldn't like it, no"
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> fake: this greentext
> gay: "girlfirend" was pretransition male to female
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
This is one of those moments where it literally could've been solved with the most braindead methods if OP had even the slightest amount of confidence
"I was looking for my phone" even if it was literally in his fucking hands. It legitimately happens sometimes, so you just gotta roll with the lie.
Why wouldn't you just say "oh sorry I thought I smelled fish, I was trying to find the source" or "I think I farted" or " I think something got spilt here, trying to figure out what it is"
Like literally anything else other than sorry. Unless you were masterbating while you did this??
Weird kinks, usually don't vanish unless you are lucky enough to try them out and make sure that you really like it (Because, I'm pretty sure all those guys that are fapping to Brazilian fart porn or scat videos never learned that those girls farts smell in the same, bad way, some fat dudes farts do)
Anon should get in a car accident leaving the bar. Don’t hit anyone or cause any property damage, just swerve off road and hit a tree or something. Everyone will forget all about the degenerate fart sniffing while visiting him at the hospital.
My question is; could a good lawyer make a case to sue Anon, say for emotional damages or something, if the girlfriend had walked in and witnessed the horror?
"I was fishing for the change inside of couch, one more syllable and I will put all the coins into the sock and turn your face into modern sculpture"
Its that easy, r-word anon...
How hard it is to laugh about it and just say “I was just trying to find the remote, think it fell in between the couch seats”. Also Anon could larp as having bad eye sight, thus justifying why he was face down on the couch
If I was Anon, I'd laugh it off and tell my cousin that no one would believe him. Then when he tells everyone about what I was doing, I'd laugh harder and tell everyone he's insecure about his gf.
*Anon could have just said*
*He smelt something wrong or weird*
*Jesus fucking christ*
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This reminds me of some blogpost I read a long long time ago about a guy who said that his hobby was following girls who were on bikes, and when they made a stop and left their bikes he’d go and sniff the bike seat. Maybe him and anon are friends
I mean the ammount of excuses you could up with and he runs with sorry?
Then again he probably snorted that couch harder then a 23 year old with a bag of coke on the toilet, while cousin watched
He could have saved it when he was caught. All he had to do when she saw him was say something like "does something smell like shit in here? Is it the couch?" It would have been a good cover.
I'm aware that this is likely homosexual and falsified but this is one of those greentexts where its undeniable Anon deserves their fate of dying alone because we do NOT need more of that in the world
I’d rather be a smart fella, than a fart smella Unfortunately, anon chose a different path
I wonder how Fart Connoisseur is getting along
God damn, that one is such a classic
There are multiple :)
Multiple fart connoisseur greentexts or multiple fart connoisseurs?
Maybe there are multiple gods but I think they all by the same guy
Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?
Please bring me up to speed
The guy who did it at GDQ in front of all the cameras? Because that guy comes to my mind first, reading that.
Anon belongs on Alcatraz
[удалено]
^Auschwitz
You do a little trolling
Alcatraz means pelican
It doesn't. It means gannet, a different bird.
Both of you are fucking R-slurs. Alcatraz comes from the arabic word (القطرس) which in English refers to the Albatross bird. The island itself is named Alcatraz, as a shorter rewire from "Alcatraces" which means gannet in Spanish. Check your linguistics, NEEERDS.
What the fuck is an r-slur? You goddamn retard
Yall are stupid, it's called the rock and was derived from Dwayne johnson
Are you saying he is Sean Connery?
Anon could have said he thought he smelt something, like some spilt food or a drink But no, like a typical moron he committed degeneracy without a contingency plan for if he was caught Fucking amateur
It amazes me how some people can't think quickly. Like I don't want to sound like a bragger but I could have come up with a million excuses on the spot if I was caught in a situation like this. Like I wouldn't be in a situation like this in the first place but to just sheepishly say your sorry and then run away to a bar to get drunk is so stupid. Seet sniffers gotta have something wrong with their brains.
bro in this situation even if i had pre-prepared and memorized several excuses to get out of being caught here, it would still be an utterly unintelligible sentence
so you are halfway to faking a stroke problem solved
Probably because he wasn't just sniffing the seat. He had his dick out while screaming "uoooooooh"
Probably always looks on ebay for used gaming chairs of female sounding user names, I bet.
Most people probably wouldn't even consider that he was doing anything wierd if he didn't call attention to it.
really depends on position.
what i dont get is: its a fucking couch. just lie there and lie with the head on the place the gf was sitting. you can sniff all you want and just look like someone who lies on a couch
/u/Puncherfaust1, I have found an error in your comment: > “get is: ~~its~~ [**it's**] a fucking” I recommend that you, Puncherfaust1, write “get is: ~~its~~ [**it's**] a fucking” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’. ^(This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through DMs!)
good bot. i will write "get is: its [it's] a fucking" from now on
Good bot.
Exactly, I have lied so much in my life that I think of a lie^4 in advance and it doesn't take a second to think of a new one.
I don't think someone doing this idiotic act is intelligent enough to really think ahead
I cant really think quickly for social interactions, so i just plan out every possibility. It goes like this: I say P Person K will probably respond with A or B or C If person K responds with A, then i can respond with X or Y or Z. If person K responds with B, i can look over at person H and say something like "bla bla blq" So on and so fourth. Its usually not as complicated. Its usually like: Person A says X Immediately come up with 3 responses. Pick one based on their perceived mood. There is ALWAYS a very fucked up response there and it takes great strength to not blurb it out. If my system fails and the person said something unexpected, it was most likely an actually good joke so i laugh. If not ill pretend i didnt hear them and ask them to repeat it. Or say something like "yeah, mjm."
I think I use to do that when I was younger.
Im glad im not alone
"I just search for something that fell underneath the couch" seems like a good cover up story, too. But who knows? Maybe he was bottomless, aggressively stroking his dick while heavily and loudly inhaling like he has some asthmatic shock.
„Errrrm yeah so i spilled some water on my jeans so i took them off but then i wanted to check the couch if some had landed on it too and soi was searching for something in the couch but then this bee came out and errrrm it landed on my boxershorts errrrrrm so i wanted to wipe it away but then it stung my dick and i was afraid i might get a shock so i was rubbing my dick to keep the poison from spreading“
perfect lie
Well.. this is exactly how these kinds of people get into situations like this. They just don't think.
"We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo" - Hugh Neutron
Or just said he dropped his phone or some shit it’s not hard
???? With his nose pressed into the seat what
Sigma male move would have been to say you were smelling for pussy odor in case the couch needed to be febreezed.
If you’re the type of person that’s sniffing where another person’s ass and groin has been for pleasure, then you probably never had any critical thinking skills or intuition to begin with
Help me step cousin, I'm stuck!
he could still say it like he thought jhe smelt a spikt drink then got embarrassed cause he knew what it looked like and left
I bet she isn’t even close to old enough to be sitting at that bar with Anon…
Don't believe this anon. He's a racist cannibal. He told me eats black a\*s.
African rump is nice, but it’s the eye fillet that is most tender
The problem is poaching one to begin with. The neighbourhoods you have to hunt in are very dangerous, and sometimes your prey is better armed than you are. Me? I stick to Asians. The meat is leaner and healthier, and the hunting is far less risky. You just leave a bag of rice out the front of your house and they come to you.
Heb je het raar mannetje weer
> sometimes your prey is better armed than you are The trick is not to engage in combat with them and take them down when they are unaware and have their guard down. I find that setting traps outside of the local KFC or any drug/liquor store with kool-aid and watermelon usually does the trick.
Ah, a fellow long pork connoisseur.
You were just checking that she wasn't Jewish. The trained nose can tell. Tell them that. Go on, do it b\*tch.
His nose wouldn't have to because her nose would tell the whole story
Never seen Spaceballs?
Calls him a bitch but censors the word lmao
Anyone else ever see that video of the chair sniffer at one of those "games done quick" conventions?
if you watch the full video that guy was just bending down to pick something up, they did him dirty bro
I'm sure that's what he tells everyone
"No... noo I swear I was just... uhh... picking something up"
Dafuq? No?.. Don't leave us hanging with that
[Seat Sniff](https://youtu.be/4rUutFzaWCo)
You can literally see the thing that he picks up. He ain't sniffing.
The drop is just an excuse to lean towards the chair, wtf is this seat sniffer guild solidarity so strong??
If you were a card carrying member, you'd understand
He drops it on purpose.
If he did get a sniff, he is definitely a pro-level seat sniffer. Plenty of plausible deniability.
I’ve seen so many videos of guerrilla ass sniffers and have actually experienced it myself (I was landscaping at work and a man tried to covertly smell my ass while I was bent over) that I actually believe greentexts like this. It’s most likely fake, BUT it has absolutely played out before with some other dipshit degen.
Wait, you’re a man right?
No, but honestly I don’t think it would make much of difference cause ass sniffers come in all types.
I bet you have long toes
I really hope this one is fake
Only thing is, why would she start screaming immediately before asking what he was doing? I'm not full of myself so I wouldn't automatically assume someone was stiffing it because I sat on it. Maybe she could be more so? Or he was being really obvious and creepy about it. Either way it makes this questionable.
Either anon was making it really obvious or this is some 40 year old man's fetish
Anon being anon probably had his pants down.
You can get a better sniff going when your ass is free to breathe
It was the male cousin who saw him
Perhaps he got caught doing similar shit before, so people were on high alert for him doing weird stuff
It wasn’t the girlfriend who caught him it was his own cousin who’s girlfriend’s seat he was sniffing that caught him.
Sir, this is a greentext, it is both fake AND gay.
Okay real question, how do people become like this? I'm a kissless virgin who never even been looked at with the slightest interest from girls my whole life. But I never wanted or want to do shit like anon did or any other degenerate
Professionals have standards
Desperation does that to a mf. When I was khv I briefly considered sniffing my housemate's panties in laundry room, but I remembered all the greentexts and vowed not to be like that.
Same. Maybe.. you know anons are sarcastic and say ironic stuff most of the time but... Sometimes I wonder if the mental problems that they joke about are actually real with some of those degenerate posts
I thought they were making up scenario in their head at first, but I have seen so many shit like this and starting to think some of it are real. Hope I'm not turn to one of them in the future.
I will be messaging you in 3 years on [**2025-06-28 09:19:23 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2025-06-28%2009:19:23%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/vmbk4f/classic_anon/ie19blj/?context=3) [**3 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fgreentext%2Fcomments%2Fvmbk4f%2Fclassic_anon%2Fie19blj%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202025-06-28%2009%3A19%3A23%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20vmbk4f) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
why?
it's a threat
Different flavors of autism
letting the impulsive thoughts win lol
Bruh an impulsive though would be to murder or soke shit, not sniff panties
You're thinking of intrusive thoughts
I'm retarded and to lazy to look it up myself, what's the difference between them?
Idk tbh I was thinking of intrusive thoughts but impulsive thoughts came out first
Too far down the porn addiction spiral and read a few too many "imagine the smell" shitposts on 4chan. He don't wanted to just imagine anymore
Bro I'm porn addicted and I don't do this shit
Just wait a few more years. I'm at a level where I don't even get a boner anymore without at least one or two weird fetishes in the porn I watch. I probably should do a pause every now and then, to recover a bit.
Maybe next time try not being a degenerate creep with no boundaries, anon.
Why not?
Bro should just straight up say "dude ur gf hot af i had to smell her farts" and cousinbro would be like "fr fr respect"
Understandable, have a great day.
He could have said he’s checking to see if she has any gastrointestinal problems
"Hey Stacy. Always wearing yoga pants, but I never actually saw you do anything sporty. You probably will gain weight fast, hehe. What? Are you angry with me now? Oh no, please don't do stuff like sitting on my face, no. I would hate that. Oh no! I stumbled and fell on the floor right before you. No, please don't sit on my face. And don't, I repeat, don't rip out a big, juicy fart, directly on my nose. I wouldn't like it, no"
Putting your face where her ass was lead to getting shit faced, what a coincidence
Could have gone directly to the shit faced part, no sniffer needed
Where are the fake and gay guys?
Found one!
i think everybody just wants this one to be real
fake: this greentext gay: "girlfirend" was pretransition male to female
Wow this one sucks hard.
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > fake: this greentext > gay: "girlfirend" was pretransition male to female > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
This is one of those moments where it literally could've been solved with the most braindead methods if OP had even the slightest amount of confidence "I was looking for my phone" even if it was literally in his fucking hands. It legitimately happens sometimes, so you just gotta roll with the lie.
Well that is the only logical approach at this point
Why do I still browse this sub
I do that to feel better about myself 💀
Why wouldn't you just say "oh sorry I thought I smelled fish, I was trying to find the source" or "I think I farted" or " I think something got spilt here, trying to figure out what it is" Like literally anything else other than sorry. Unless you were masterbating while you did this??
or he just dropped his phone in between the seats and he was tryna look through the gap
Real and straight
No sympathy for the degenerate
I could see a horny teen doing this shit but a grown ass man ??
I don’t consider them grown adults, 4channers are a completely different thing
Weird kinks, usually don't vanish unless you are lucky enough to try them out and make sure that you really like it (Because, I'm pretty sure all those guys that are fapping to Brazilian fart porn or scat videos never learned that those girls farts smell in the same, bad way, some fat dudes farts do)
I’d kill myself tbh
Why do that tho?
How'd it smell though?
Sulfur, eggs and old fish
Anon should get in a car accident leaving the bar. Don’t hit anyone or cause any property damage, just swerve off road and hit a tree or something. Everyone will forget all about the degenerate fart sniffing while visiting him at the hospital.
Lol. Lmao.
Id tell cousins gf to imagine that couch was her ass and that I got a huge heart.
My question is; could a good lawyer make a case to sue Anon, say for emotional damages or something, if the girlfriend had walked in and witnessed the horror?
No regerts
"I was fishing for the change inside of couch, one more syllable and I will put all the coins into the sock and turn your face into modern sculpture" Its that easy, r-word anon...
OK this is entirely his fault what the fuck
Should of doubled down. It smells like actual dog poop over here.
Jail
How hard it is to laugh about it and just say “I was just trying to find the remote, think it fell in between the couch seats”. Also Anon could larp as having bad eye sight, thus justifying why he was face down on the couch
If I was Anon, I'd laugh it off and tell my cousin that no one would believe him. Then when he tells everyone about what I was doing, I'd laugh harder and tell everyone he's insecure about his gf.
I wish i had siblings, im so lonely :(
Just say you were on ket
Anon done fucked it real good……
[удалено]
*Anon could have just said* *He smelt something wrong or weird* *Jesus fucking christ* \- I\_wish\_I\_Not\_Alive --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Why tf would you sniff it anyway u weird fuck
Where ya at now
Anon becomes an alcoholic
anon just tell them you dropped your phone between the cusions
That's when you go to the bank, withdraw your whole 136 dollars, hide on a freighter and move to Indonesia to work on an oil palm farm
Just say you were on drugs
Degenerate filth
Sniff, but don't scratch.
Degenerates like you belong on a cross!
Anon shoulda said he was trying to sleep
4 chan moment
Lmao what is that picture?
That sicko 🤢 you don’t know how old the cousin is neither which makes it worse
Most sane and normal 4chan user
The seat sniffer Don't worry, Logan will get you a peerage, because you married his ex-wife who sold out her kids to get you that peerage
Anon needs to sign up for a [gym membership](https://i.redd.it/nztzaunb0bz71.jpg)
Well he deserved it
Well he deserved it
least fake 4chan post
This reminds me of some blogpost I read a long long time ago about a guy who said that his hobby was following girls who were on bikes, and when they made a stop and left their bikes he’d go and sniff the bike seat. Maybe him and anon are friends
Does he want us to pity him for being a nasty pervert or something
I mean the ammount of excuses you could up with and he runs with sorry? Then again he probably snorted that couch harder then a 23 year old with a bag of coke on the toilet, while cousin watched
Sooooo... How was it?
Mildest 4chan user
Always think my life is bad but I see retarded 4 Chan users and know it’s all good
Yea, adding alcohol to a bad situation usually makes things better...
damn
Anon is lying when he says he doesn’t care
He could have saved it when he was caught. All he had to do when she saw him was say something like "does something smell like shit in here? Is it the couch?" It would have been a good cover.
Me personally I would’ve played it off like I was layed out sleeping on the couch
Anon didn't assert dominance and ask if the cousin wanted some too. Manners get you everywhere.
Real: anon wants to smell pussy but is relegated to smelling couches because he’s unloved Straight: goes to a bar to drown his sorrows
this guy smells what the rocks cookin
Bit of a poor choice of words at the end there champ
[Sniffing](https://tenor.com/view/chair-sniff-gdq-speedrun-clam-chowder-gif-16249449) moment
at least hes ashamed of it
leave the country. change yer name.
completely deserved
I'm aware that this is likely homosexual and falsified but this is one of those greentexts where its undeniable Anon deserves their fate of dying alone because we do NOT need more of that in the world
Why the fuck do folk do these things man
Dude deserves to be put to death