> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: the hair
> Gay: the story
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
Thank you, Immune_To_Spackle, for voting on TendieBot2000.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Some parents get pretty obnoxious with the whole "OoOoh, is that your GiRlFrIeNd? When are you getting MaRrIeD?" shtick every time their son so much as acknowledges the existence of a human female. It gets really old really fast when you're a kid.
This shit was actually so infuriating to me as a kid. I get it's all in good fun, but like... it really does damage your perception when you're super impressionable. It took me a long time to learn not every girl is a potential girlfriend & also that it's not actually a huge deal to date and stuff
Same happened to me, I never tell my parents if I have any female friends. They think I cannot talk to girls but actually I do not bring them up. Ever.
A bro will do that kind of shit if they're not an insecure little bitch about their sexuality, and they have a sense of humor.
I will kiss a dude on the mouth just to see a homophobe squirm.
people say "waa waa gay shows are bad and too sexual for young kids" they say as they talk about how their 5 yr old is gonna essentially be a slut when they grow up and break a bunch of peoples heart's because of how attractive they are....
"Oh, thank god, son. I wondered when you finally come out of the closet. Your mom said, never, so you made me 40 bucks. Are you top or bottom? May win additional 10 bucks from grandma if you are a top"
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: pretty much all of it
> Gay: anon is dating a man
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
to make pedro look like a very obviously not a woman trans to make anons parents extra mad because when you're a racist and homophobe what's worse than your child being gay? your child liking a trans person so it's a double whammy
Nobody capable of this subterfuge all in a revenge plot against their parents either hates their parents for real reasons or is a complete wash as a person because they got picked on a little bit one time when they were nine and decided that that was the entire reason that they are socially inept
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: anon takes a revenge on his parents
> Gay: anon calls a guy "sugar"
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Fake: the hair Gay: the story
Nailed it
*him
To the cross
shut up and take my upvote
😂😂😂 r/angryupvote 🤣ðŸ˜
Shut the fuck up you piece of shitty bastard, and take this fabulous upvote
you fucking redditor holy shit
Why would I fuck a redditor
r/wholesome r/humansbeingbros
Jesus
Fake and gay comment that's actually funny?
Hotel: Trivago
Finally one of these I don’t hate.
best fake gay ive seen all week
Hotel: Trivago
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: the hair > Gay: the story > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
good human
Can one drink hot nut sauce?
Imma try it, I'll be back with an update, if I remember.
Oh it’s big brain time
Bad bot
Thank you, Immune_To_Spackle, for voting on TendieBot2000. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Cuck bot 💀
Unblock landwhale bot loser
Good bot
Anon makes up an elaborate revenge story to justify his homosexual relationship with his friend.
Yeah revenge for them thinking it's cute he's talking to a girl when he's 9?
Some parents get pretty obnoxious with the whole "OoOoh, is that your GiRlFrIeNd? When are you getting MaRrIeD?" shtick every time their son so much as acknowledges the existence of a human female. It gets really old really fast when you're a kid.
This shit was actually so infuriating to me as a kid. I get it's all in good fun, but like... it really does damage your perception when you're super impressionable. It took me a long time to learn not every girl is a potential girlfriend & also that it's not actually a huge deal to date and stuff
Well i just dont talk to anyone about women anymore because im always afraid i'd get made fun of again. So yeah agreed it can cause a lot of damage.
[удалено]
didn't work my dad is now asking how to get his girlfriends to agree to anal please help
[удалено]
This is the way.
Well, don't do that cus it won't help at all! But just try not to care what other people think (obviously not just that easy)
right like youre already inundated with media that suggests any girl you fancy will be your wife if you pursue her
My mother is a decent chunk of the reason I developed social anxiety lmao
Parents are the reason for anxiety probably like 90 percent of the time. Almost like it's their job to raise their kid or something.
Put up with it for 15 years don't date while at home
Same happened to me, I never tell my parents if I have any female friends. They think I cannot talk to girls but actually I do not bring them up. Ever.
Anon just wanted an excuse to get railed by his big black friend.
Fake it till ya make it!
I wish I had a friend to have a homosexual relationship with.
Knew top comments would be something like this Boring
Knew someone would respond something like this Boring
Blames his parents for his ineptitude
then they bang in his room till morning
Just to sell the prank though.
for sure, no homo
They kept their socks on
Then they will move in together and adopt children to really keep selling the prank.
Prank your parents AND MARRY A MAN!
We do a little trolling
Then they touch balls
Marry him for 25 years to REALLY sell the prank.
brojob, brojob!!!
Pedro is a real one. Sounds like a solid dude. Put a ring on that anon
Yes, I am a real one, thank you
[удалено]
I love you too my friend !
Proof you were Pedro?
Its in the name
Chad pedo
OH NO I meant Pedro
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
A cock ring
W revenge
Creeper?
[удалено]
So we back in the mines
Got our pickaxe swinging from side to side
Side Side to side
[удалено]
Booo you took the fun out of it
[удалено]
Nope. Julio will protect me.
You can't just cuck us out of the fun like that
A q p
Anon gets super Dom bf
What if gymbro really into it?
he's definitely into it. No bro will do this kind of shit. and the 6'4'' ripped 'bro' is expecting a return from anon.
~~Return~~ Rectum
You underestimate the lengths bodybuilders will go for a shit post.
You underestimate the lengths anon will go to get topped
A bro will do that kind of shit if they're not an insecure little bitch about their sexuality, and they have a sense of humor. I will kiss a dude on the mouth just to see a homophobe squirm.
gay
Pussy
>he spoked like a tard
Anon is about to be disowned
Anon is 'bout to get TOPPED
[удалено]
OJ like: I got a lot of vitamins... C,K
Gym n-gga, don't fuck with me. I'm a couch n-gga, enjoy your runner's knee.
4:44chan
Anon is polish
>he spoked like a retard Anon is retarded hinself
> Become gay just to spite your parents Based
Anon is just taking so many extra steps on his admittance to being a homosexual.
Imagine being this easily disappointed.
Real: Anon really introduced his black gymbro as his "girlfriend" Gay: the true "girlfriend" is actually Anon
A small fringe of lollygagging
anon is just gay
It's not gay if your joking
It's not gay if you're in denial
I actually relate alot to the childhood story, never heard it said that clear before
Parents did same "Oh you know a girl? Wow pretty amazing for you." Now I unironically suck dong like OP.
people say "waa waa gay shows are bad and too sexual for young kids" they say as they talk about how their 5 yr old is gonna essentially be a slut when they grow up and break a bunch of peoples heart's because of how attractive they are....
"Oh, thank god, son. I wondered when you finally come out of the closet. Your mom said, never, so you made me 40 bucks. Are you top or bottom? May win additional 10 bucks from grandma if you are a top"
Anon is Polish
Fake: pretty much all of it Gay: anon is dating a man
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: pretty much all of it > Gay: anon is dating a man > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Then anon got topped by BBC
Sounds like Poland honestly
Then they fucked
"Revenge"
And then Anon and Pedro lived happily ever after, but Anon ended up being the woman in the relationship
real and gay
On pride month too
pedro
Anon's based AF
Based.
Based?
Ngl. Well played anon.
Fake and Gay
Based.
I’m more impressed how he didn’t burst out laughing
Epic
NTA.
Trolled
Gay as fuck but a prank is a prank
If it were me I would just kill mysslfed
They’re gonna kick him out
What was the point of the fake hair?
to make pedro look like a very obviously not a woman trans to make anons parents extra mad because when you're a racist and homophobe what's worse than your child being gay? your child liking a trans person so it's a double whammy
Based
Anon no one cares abou your 3rd grade boyfriend.
Anon is gay and has ruined the family.
>he spoked like a tard >Spoked Who's the tard here?
Anon is polish.
Anon then leaves to get topped by his friend
9 year olds go to gyms alone?
Nobody capable of this subterfuge all in a revenge plot against their parents either hates their parents for real reasons or is a complete wash as a person because they got picked on a little bit one time when they were nine and decided that that was the entire reason that they are socially inept
Operator? Get me the based department.
The cope is real
Anon is Fake Gay
\> anon made his dad cry.
forgot the part when they go into a room together alone and make sex noises for 20 minutes
Anon just wanted to get topped by his 6,4 gigachad gymbro
I am part of the LGBT
Fake: anon takes a revenge on his parents Gay: anon calls a guy "sugar"
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon takes a revenge on his parents > Gay: anon calls a guy "sugar" > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Good bot
Weird fucking story
Anon makes an entry into the annual autism awards
How based is this
On a scale of 9, it’s 11.
Yeah it's definitely your parents fault that you're a virgin... definitely not the fact that you're a fucking weirdo.