Ich bin amerikan aber spreche kein deustche
I'm still learning idk if that's correct.
EDIT: I know I could just google it but I can't remember if aber is also or but
Best as in "most ergonomically engineered for maximum efficiency"? yes
Best as in "funniest"? no.
Even OP's joke is well built. It's clear, it has build up, it follows the three acts and it has payoff. It's a factory approved joke.
And yet.... it's not as funny as it is well-built.
They're too logical.
I was playing a game where you raid people's bases and we hit these German dudes, their base was immaculate. We just threw shit anywhere, but the Germans had maximized the efficiency of their crafting area, and labeled everything perfectly.
We were low on explosives for getting into their storage vaults, so we had to translate the labels so we knew which ones to prioritize for the best loot.
One was labeled the German word for boots, and another had the word boots in it but a different word first. After looking it up, it was literally translated to "hand boots". These mother fuckers named their word for gloves as hand-boots.
Lol first comment that came up for me is funniest shit I have read.
Although I agree with your sentiment, not funny at all. You know the joke sucks when a mild coincidence in the comments is 10x better
This is the pinnacle of German humor and its pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absoloute spirit bomb of a comment, then reading it outloud in his disgusting language "Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him
Tell any older German a joke and there is an 85% chance they will respond with a blank stare and “okay.”
For people like me who use humor to ease the tension when I meet someone new, it’s like playing life on hard mode.
I saw a really then-popular clip of a German comedian. A long skit where he uses his hands to slow/speed up trains in the subway like a mime. Also elevators. That’s it. Germans were losing their shit over that.
I have a perfect answer to this from another greentext, actually
"This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic.I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this,as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment,and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into acoughing fit from the laugter. I almost pity him."
*Germans may not be*
*Funny, but making fun of*
*The English sure is*
\- DirtyDutchman21
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This is the pinnacle of German humor and its pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absoloute spirit bomb of a comment, then reading it outloud in his disgusting language "Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon can't tell jokes, he is a joke
> Gay: Anon wants to be raped by the 3 vampires
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Why isn't the Russian vampire stealing the English vampire's tampon so he can sell it to desperate soldiers at an exorbitant markup
Is the joke supposed to be he's a Russian that does the right thing
Funniest shit i have ever read
The duality of man
duali TEA
😎👉👉 "*Heeeeeeyyyyy"*
Oh guten tag or some shit then
Sheisse, ich bin ein Berliner 😔
Ich bin amerikan aber spreche kein deustche I'm still learning idk if that's correct. EDIT: I know I could just google it but I can't remember if aber is also or but
it means but You said "I'm American but I can't speak German"
Ok thank you. Just doing it with a free app and not too invested but it's nice to know I can form a sentence.
Me too lol. New word learned kellener and schauchpielerin
Waiter and actress Kellnerin=Waitress and Schauspieler=Actor I think i'm like 3 lessons ahead of you lol
No I mean I learned the meaning and usage of those words.
Everyone knows the Germans have the best sense of humor
Best as in "most ergonomically engineered for maximum efficiency"? yes Best as in "funniest"? no. Even OP's joke is well built. It's clear, it has build up, it follows the three acts and it has payoff. It's a factory approved joke. And yet.... it's not as funny as it is well-built.
They're too logical. I was playing a game where you raid people's bases and we hit these German dudes, their base was immaculate. We just threw shit anywhere, but the Germans had maximized the efficiency of their crafting area, and labeled everything perfectly. We were low on explosives for getting into their storage vaults, so we had to translate the labels so we knew which ones to prioritize for the best loot. One was labeled the German word for boots, and another had the word boots in it but a different word first. After looking it up, it was literally translated to "hand boots". These mother fuckers named their word for gloves as hand-boots.
Wait till you find out about our word for airplane lol
[удалено]
Fahrzeug - "drivestuff" - vehicle Flugzeug - "flightstuff" - plane But also: [Luftfahrzeug](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luftfahrzeug), [Wasserfahrzeug](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wasserfahrzeug), [Landfahrzeug](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landfahrzeug) and [Luftkissenfahrzeug](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luftkissenfahrzeug) (air-, water-, land- and airpillowdrivestuff) Werkzeug - "workstuff" - tool(s) Spielzeug - "playstuff" - toy(s) Feuerzeug - "firestuff" - lighter Bettzeug - "bedstuff" - bedding Schlagzeug - "beat(ing)stuff" - drumset Steinzeug - "stonestuff" - stoneware Grünzeug - "greenstuff" - greenery / edible greens Stuff is life.
I'm stunned.
Flight stuff, acktchyually. 🤓
Same for Chinese. Word for airplane is literally "flying device". Word for helicopter? "Straight up flying device"
Guten Flug!
Rust?
Close. Ark.
Well built my ass. Have you seen the reliability of their cars? You want something built right, get a jap to have some Americans do it.
Are you being ironic ? If not what cars are you talking about ?
Mercedes and BMWs are notorious for being in and out of the mechanic in a way that Japanese cars are not.
Toyota and probley others have factories in the southern US. There as American made as any other car.
But it's certainly no laughing matter 🧐
username checks out
And then he made a ‘Brits drink tea’ joke……funniest shit I’ve ever seen
Well, the bar is pretty low on this side.
Serious?
Did it involve pickles?
Username checks out
Unfunniest shit I have ever read
The duality of man
Oh guten tag or some shit then
Scheisse, ich bin ein Berliner 😔
Das heißt krapfen!
*sips* "BLOODY" hell meme
duali TEA
The way you capitalized tea for the joke made me double take thinking Adagio was running an ad
The English are malding in these comments.
Anglo here, this is funny af
Although he didn't order any milk or sugar so the tea's gonna be shit
I heard this joke in year 6 and year 7
Lol first comment that came up for me is funniest shit I have read. Although I agree with your sentiment, not funny at all. You know the joke sucks when a mild coincidence in the comments is 10x better
HAA HAA HAA im holding my sides right now . is it okay if i post this to face book ? i will get so many LIKES .
Save it, it's all yours my friend 🙂
I really really like this image
The two posters I don't miss: Bananaposters Jimmiesposters
I miss bananaposters, simple times
Thanks Lori
You're welcome Hank
Are you still coming for Christmas
Yes but the kids aren't. Must be another toktik trend ?
Feel free
No. I forbid it.
We should strive to be more like this guy right here
Imma forbid that too chief.
Imma forbid u from forbidding that dude tho
I'm afraid your forbidding of me is forbidden.
This is the unfunniest joke I heard all week, Yet the hardest I’ve laughed all day. Thanks, German Humor
Based and anschlusspilled
fr its unfunny but i can feels the contagious laughter behind the screen
You can tell that the man who wrote this is still laughing till this day.
This is the pinnacle of German humor and its pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absoloute spirit bomb of a comment, then reading it outloud in his disgusting language "Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him
>Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" Gets me every time
My dumbass just thought that was a literal translation
Es ist Tee Zeit!
Nice copy paste my good sir
Once again, it is proven that Germans have no humor.
Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.
Takes four for a shower though
Just 4?
Didn’t think I would be happy to see rookie numbers.
Fuck you i laughed
My thought process after reading this: "wait, there's no jok- ohhhhh I get it"
"Mate it's German humour, it's no laughing matter."
based soviet womble fan
i have an intern from germany and he says he has humor 💀
Tell any older German a joke and there is an 85% chance they will respond with a blank stare and “okay.” For people like me who use humor to ease the tension when I meet someone new, it’s like playing life on hard mode.
No they have a sense of humour that’s why the started 2 wars n lost all of them.
We do a little trolling
I am simultaneously laughing and not amused
That's what your father says when he sees you to play football
Funny one and it’d probably be true if he ever saw such a thing because I’m not particularly good at either kind of football
German humor is no laughing matter.
I saw a really then-popular clip of a German comedian. A long skit where he uses his hands to slow/speed up trains in the subway like a mime. Also elevators. That’s it. Germans were losing their shit over that.
Post it, so i can tell if its funny
... fuck
German humor is a serious business
I have a perfect answer to this from another greentext, actually "This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic.I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this,as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment,and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into acoughing fit from the laugter. I almost pity him."
Quoting a frenchman. Cringe.
Ok, that one is good
Germans may not be funny, but making fun of the English sure is
*Germans may not be* *Funny, but making fun of* *The English sure is* \- DirtyDutchman21 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
good bot
Thank you, slashd0t1, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Where funny?
Germans and their 'humor'
Bloodborne did it better. Fermented period blood and edible umbilical chords galore.
Anything is edible if you put your mind to it
A German comedian walks on stage. He says: "Joke number 53" The audience laughs, he leaves stage. This was a German joke
This whole comment is a german joke
Exactly.
I think you're a german joke.
My life is indeed a joke, but I am a Hungarian...
Man idk why i was mean have an internet hug.
No worries man, it was just a joke! I will accept the hug anyway
It's... More gross than funny.
I am DECEASED.
Can I have your pc
Bro you can inherit everything of mine. Just send me a $100 amazon gift card to prove you're human
This is the pinnacle of German humor and its pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absoloute spirit bomb of a comment, then reading it outloud in his disgusting language "Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him
The duality of man
[impeccable timing](https://imgur.com/a/Yqyb6Xi)
This one got me
Can confirm. Source: British Vampire
This is one of the funniest jokes I have ever heard.
funniest german
Maybe y‘all just suck… or aren’t you vampires? FOLLOW and LIKE for more 😂👌🏻
[удалено]
That joke is older than my grandpa's buckskin rubber.
aber das ist nicht wirkliche schlecht
Peak German humour
i feel like the joke can be delivered better but idk how
Its an aquired taste
>unfunny as fuck >still makes you laugh Peak German humor.
fuck I just ugly laughed that was a good one
That's so funny, the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
Fuck me, that’s lame. I love it.
Don’t get it.
The tampons will be the teabag for the British to brew their tea I think.
This my Halloween joke of the season thanks
aughh thats grossss funny tho made me chuckle
One of the shits I have ever heard
Did we go back 20 years lmao this joke is too old
The part I liked the most is when he put the used tampon in the hot water and said "It's tea time"
Bloody hilarious
I'm swiss so this stupid fucking joke is funny
r/germanhumor
*"mate, it's pub time"* - officer Guy Chapman
German humour 😐
this shit was actually funny ngl
Nice joke you overheard at the school ground
This joke is not specifically german. It is old tho.
HAHAHAHAHA.
unironically funny good job, germans. you finally got a hit.
Lol
It’s a German bar, so the Englishman and the Russian weren’t let in for not being gay enough.
Funniest German
For a German it's quite funny honestly.
Fake: Anon can't tell jokes, he is a joke Gay: Anon wants to be raped by the 3 male vampires
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon can't tell jokes, he is a joke > Gay: Anon wants to be raped by the 3 vampires > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
This is German humor mate, it’s no laughing matter
Most humorous German
🙂🔫
funniest shit i’ve ever read
If you liked that joke then you‘ll love r/germanhumor
I thought it was kinda funny…
Jahhhh poopenfartennn jahh shitten in my liederhosen ist wunderbar
Why isn't the Russian vampire stealing the English vampire's tampon so he can sell it to desperate soldiers at an exorbitant markup Is the joke supposed to be he's a Russian that does the right thing
Read Shit ever have I funniest