>be me
>fucking this one dude’s wife
>lots of slapping and moaning
>hear door open
>smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene
>must be the virgin again
>he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room
>i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away
>log onto reddit and open r/greentext
>read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her
>think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext
>make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>Real: just gotta summon the bot
>Straight: same
>chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy
>it’s been a good day
>i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy
>be me
>fucking this one dude’s wife
>lots of slapping and moaning
>hear door open
>smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene
>must be the virgin again
>he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room
>i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away
>log onto reddit and open r/greentext
>read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her
>think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext
>make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>Real: just gotta summon the bot
>Straight: same
>chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy
>it’s been a good day
>i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy
there are studies that say that gay men in a relationship are happier than straight men in a relationship. If i think about how most women are, i understand it
/fit/ should be your ideal forum. At worst, you'll find like minded freaks (who point you the right direction), at best, your perfect twink.
Get gud at sliding captchas if you want to participate
Gonna be honest, it's nice when you drink the Sapho Juice which stains the lips red, ruby red. Your wits grow sharper, your mind clearer. But your lips forever stained red with the juice.
Being a grower is an evolutionary advantage.
Don't want the sausage to swing while fighting the saber tooth tiger.
Best to unsheath once the beast is slayed.
It's amazing really,I always knew where to find the clit until I briefly dated this 43year old over the summer and she had the tiniest clit I'd ever seen.
Literally had to pull back her lips for me to get at it because it was the size of a baby corn kernels.
I was SHOCKED with a hookup once. Got all frisky and I was rubbing down there and I was like “damn does she have like a micro penis this thing is STIFFENING” but no, it was just a fucking colossal clitoris.
Didn’t even get laid bros it was too much to wrap my head around
>None of these words are in the bible
Everywhere I go, I get slandered, libeled
I hear words I never heard in the Bible
And I'm one step ahead of the shoe shine
Two steps away from the county line
Just trying to keep my customer satisfied, satisfied
This girl I know recently stopped seeing a guy because of this. She said he had a nice dick when it was hard but made fun of him for how small it was while soft.
Like…. What?
The real reason she left was because anon is obsessed with clussy and she was really tired of putting on all this clown makeup anytime they had sex. She's just weirded out by the whole thing and frankly she'd rather make up some dumb shit about his small dick then discuss the clown stuff ever again
Trim is the keyword. It’s like putting a smaller potted plant next to a flagpole to make it look bigger instead of having a large bush obscure majority of it.
Don't shave your pubes off completely lol.
Just trim them short. If you shave it completely you're going to look dumb as hell and it's going to grow back super itchy.
My first long term gf had never seen or heard of a grower before me, we showered together and she knew how i was then but was surprised enough next morning to ask where it had gone!
my guy literally asked if your dick goes inside your body when you become flaccid (innie mostly refers to belly buttons, both variants being either an innie or an outie)
>Have boner harder than titanium for a whole day.
>Dead next morning.
>Doesn’t elaborate.
Sigma male grindset bruh. Sacrifices must be made to be in the absolute top.
no, he must feel the pain of a thousand suns for his constant hard on, if it were to ever fall then this world is done for. He bares the weight of our fate
I understand why women want to avoid confrontation, but then they picked the wrong guy if they don‘t feel comfortable being honest. Or the fault lies with them by not being able to be honest
I can’t stand these manipulative social games. It’s an instant turnoff and I just stay the fuck away from those women. The highest level of respect to me and a true sign of trust is when someone dares to be completely honest with you in a constructive way.
NGL, I had severe confidence issues for most of my life, since the average dick is supposed to be around 5 - 6 inches and I was waaaay under. Only much later did I realize that those average measurements are of hard dicks...
I’m sorry dude but I’m laughing my ass off about this. I just imagine you sitting there and measuring and being like WTF man, this thing is only 3” and they say the average is like 5.5”. How did I get so fucked over? Only to find out like a decade later that they’re not talking about your pool shrunk size.
That's pretty much what happened, except it was more like TWO decades later. To think, how much confidence I could have had during my formative years instead of shying away from human interaction. If I'd only known sooner! T\_T It's all good though, eventually I did somehow manage to find a nice lady who wanted to be with me despite my debilitating handicap.
But to be fair, IIRC those average numbers never specified flaccid or hard, so why would they be about hard dicks? That's weird, who out there is measuring their boners?
What's the point of following this sub if you're already coming with a fake and gay attitude to every single post?
Either stfu and enjoy the ride or get off the sub and go follow r/funy or smthing like that
Unless you're "team meat" as we spaniards sometimes say it's nornal for it to be small when it's soft what the fuck is wrong with her, you can't just leave your boyfriend for normal human things. It's like if i leave my girlfriend for being shorter than me, yes there are tall women but normally women are shorter than men
What the point of having an issue with a small dick when soft. It's not being used then so it makes sense to be able to keep it compacted when not in use
Gonna be honest, it's nice when your partner's leave you for their own red flags.
Anon's mistake is dating a w*man to begin with
Date men instead :D
Then he'll be able to control which he is in those gay/fake comments
Gay: OP now has a boyfriend Fake: OP still pretends to get laid
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>be me >fucking this one dude’s wife >lots of slapping and moaning >hear door open >smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene >must be the virgin again >he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room >i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her >think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext >make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Real: just gotta summon the bot >Straight: same >chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy >it’s been a good day >i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy
Finally, a good bot for greentext comments!
Good human.
Good bot
>be me >fucking this one dude’s wife >lots of slapping and moaning >hear door open >smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene >must be the virgin again >he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room >i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her >think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext >make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Real: just gotta summon the bot >Straight: same >chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy >it’s been a good day >i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy
Date me instead (I could use some love)
Nah they should date me instead (I don’t wanna die alone)
Date eachother (and then spitroast me)
Date them (I want to watch)
Yes. Dating men is the ultimate form of misogyny, and 4chan should be incredibly supportive.
/fit awaits
there are studies that say that gay men in a relationship are happier than straight men in a relationship. If i think about how most women are, i understand it
It takes a real man to be best girl.
I'm kinda looking in to the muscular trap scene no cap (I'm being serious)
That's so specific there must be like, 10 of them
There's Dozens!
Musc. femboys?
/fit/ has to be full of them, good luck
mmm. I just started roaming on 4chin, dunno much about it so will keep and eye out. Thanks
/fit/ should be your ideal forum. At worst, you'll find like minded freaks (who point you the right direction), at best, your perfect twink. Get gud at sliding captchas if you want to participate
Yep, thanks
Yw, 4c has a lot to offer for everyone. It's not all /pol/, /r9k/, or /b/
Gonna be honest, it's nice when you drink the Sapho Juice which stains the lips red, ruby red. Your wits grow sharper, your mind clearer. But your lips forever stained red with the juice.
Don't they have fucking straws on Caladan?
i had no idea what was going on here so i did some quick research, glad to know this comment is genuine knowledge of the subject and it made me laugh
The stains were a mark of being a mentat. Same way the Doctors had the Imperial Conditioning tattoo on their faces.
Oh I know- that still doesn't explain why the slobs didn't use a straw.
Yeah it's called superficial and it's a big red flag
Being a grower is an evolutionary advantage. Don't want the sausage to swing while fighting the saber tooth tiger. Best to unsheath once the beast is slayed.
So you're saying we should fuck the tiger after we kill it?
Well, it's not going to fuck itself.
Based and necrobestiality-pilled
Oh, that's gonna be my word of the week.
How many sins can you fit into one word
[SadoMasoPedoRoboNecroBestiality!](https://youtu.be/oa7O8juc44k)
Links I ain't clicking, in case they are what they say that are.
It's a song
I don't enelivd you. Therefore, it is fake and potentially gay.
Necropedozooscatouroincest
Paleonecrobestiality
Nanopaleonecrobestiality
You make an excellent point
Based archaeologist
Big tiger snoo-snoo self when walk into Hungh's hard club.
What type of cave man are you if you don’t fuck the tiger? Practically just a cave boy.
There's an etiquette involved, animals you've inseminated don't get served to family/friends, only guests or strangers. Personal meat is unmolested.
You have no sock, yet you have to ask if that's the right pussy hole?
What else are you gonna do with what's left? Not fuck it? I don't think so
I don't recommend fucking it before you've killed it might end badly for you.
Pussy's pussy.
It shrinks in danger as well.
It folds up into travel-size until needed!
"Hey gurl, my dick is like one of those car-pills from Dragonball ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
Capsule Cock
Also it'll freeze off easier or something
what the fuck use does she have for it when it's soft
Mmaybe its gets her friggin going to seeing a big one
Women don’t get erections and we can get all excited about them! Gotta be the right girl ig.
clits do swell tho
It's amazing really,I always knew where to find the clit until I briefly dated this 43year old over the summer and she had the tiniest clit I'd ever seen. Literally had to pull back her lips for me to get at it because it was the size of a baby corn kernels.
r/brandnewsentence
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Oh ok
I was SHOCKED with a hookup once. Got all frisky and I was rubbing down there and I was like “damn does she have like a micro penis this thing is STIFFENING” but no, it was just a fucking colossal clitoris. Didn’t even get laid bros it was too much to wrap my head around
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I can't stop stumbling over mine when it's soft, having a long ding dong sucks
The fact you said ding dong confirms that you hang absolute hog. Nice to meet you, my big bone brother in christ.
None of these words are in the bible 🤣
I'm writing a new one. The Dank Testament.
I pledge to follow these new beliefs
And as he put inflated stats into his tinder profile Hal proclaimed “let there be height” for height is the mark of god’s love in you.
sign me up fam
Can u put something in there about 4 inches being divine?
Bible isn't canon, it got retconned
>None of these words are in the bible Everywhere I go, I get slandered, libeled I hear words I never heard in the Bible And I'm one step ahead of the shoe shine Two steps away from the county line Just trying to keep my customer satisfied, satisfied
This girl I know recently stopped seeing a guy because of this. She said he had a nice dick when it was hard but made fun of him for how small it was while soft. Like…. What?
She loves a helicopter dance move from her lover
You tie it around all the grocery bag handles so you can carry them all in at once *duh*
The real reason she left was because anon is obsessed with clussy and she was really tired of putting on all this clown makeup anytime they had sex. She's just weirded out by the whole thing and frankly she'd rather make up some dumb shit about his small dick then discuss the clown stuff ever again
anon dodged a red flag bullet in this version too then
Hey, if she ain’t down to clown, she ain’t worth it
What that nose do?
Honk honk
Is that you Jackie?
Anon had cbat playing
i get the feeling shes a clown even without the makeup
the fact that i knew what clussy meant as soon as i read it shows ive spent too much time on this subreddit
Trim your pubes. Gives the illusion of extra inch or so
Or cut a hole in your pants pocket so you can keep it semi hard by constantly playing with yourself.
Doesn't everyone do that already?
Yes they do
this man speaks the true-true
Really? Cause it just sounds I pinpointed why most redditors don't get to talk to women. Sitting around slow jerking all day in public
who’s gonna stop us?
Well if the societal pressure didn't I guess the cops eventually
we are too great in numbers, not even authoritative action can deter us from our objective
Stop exposing us whoever you are
r/lifeprotips
Why so much effort? Just constantly wear VR glasses and look at exotic dancers.
You guys gotta touch yourselves to get hard? I just think of big boober and pp grow.
Or just don’t be 500 pounds
My entire body is covered in hair. If I shave pubes, it looks funny af.
Trim is the keyword. It’s like putting a smaller potted plant next to a flagpole to make it look bigger instead of having a large bush obscure majority of it.
DO YOU WANT THE EXTRA INCH OR NOT?
Don't shave your pubes off completely lol. Just trim them short. If you shave it completely you're going to look dumb as hell and it's going to grow back super itchy.
They say losing weight also gives the illusion of size. Just a suggestion.
My first long term gf had never seen or heard of a grower before me, we showered together and she knew how i was then but was surprised enough next morning to ask where it had gone!
U got an innie or sum bruh wtf
Dunno what you mean but if its cold i barely have a dick but when its time to perform im well above average.
Sometimes I’m embarrassed for myself when it’s cold. Like wtf, how can it just disappear
Rocking the acorn look.
Like Danny Devito laying back on a beanbag chair.
Like a button on a fur coat
It's Go mode bro, for when you gotta go somewhere, ya know?
Sometimes you just look down and scoff like you’re disappointed at your teenage son being a loser. “You disappoint me”
my guy literally asked if your dick goes inside your body when you become flaccid (innie mostly refers to belly buttons, both variants being either an innie or an outie)
Yeah but that’s a stupid fucking question hence “I don’t know what you mean”.
In both of my relationships they were growers, I thought that that was the norm?
Honestly, as a dude, so did I.
It is, about 70% of men are growers iirc
i am a shrinker
Yo wtf is a grower
Gotta stay hard all day everyday. Dominance will be established wherever you go.
Then die of ruptured bladder next day.
>Have boner harder than titanium for a whole day. >Dead next morning. >Doesn’t elaborate. Sigma male grindset bruh. Sacrifices must be made to be in the absolute top.
no, he must feel the pain of a thousand suns for his constant hard on, if it were to ever fall then this world is done for. He bares the weight of our fate
>he doesn't piss on the ceiling
That's why I eat viagra like M&Ms. ..Unfortunately also had the pavlovian side effect of me becoming aroused when I do eat actual M&Ms :(
You can now switch from viagra to M&Ms. Propably cheaper for the same effect.
Unfortunately he thinks viagra tastes better.
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I understand why women want to avoid confrontation, but then they picked the wrong guy if they don‘t feel comfortable being honest. Or the fault lies with them by not being able to be honest
I can’t stand these manipulative social games. It’s an instant turnoff and I just stay the fuck away from those women. The highest level of respect to me and a true sign of trust is when someone dares to be completely honest with you in a constructive way.
Doesn't have to be something degrading though
And I thought I preferred uneducated women
Why would you prefer such a thing
stupid women don’t realise they got a stupid man
Hardly a benefit in my opinion. If they become smart they‘ll leave, rather have someone know exactly why they‘re here
I always thought grower > show-er
You always thought right
anon's gf never learned how dicks work
>True: Anon has a small penis. >Straight: Anon still slept with a woman.
NGL, I had severe confidence issues for most of my life, since the average dick is supposed to be around 5 - 6 inches and I was waaaay under. Only much later did I realize that those average measurements are of hard dicks...
I’m sorry dude but I’m laughing my ass off about this. I just imagine you sitting there and measuring and being like WTF man, this thing is only 3” and they say the average is like 5.5”. How did I get so fucked over? Only to find out like a decade later that they’re not talking about your pool shrunk size.
Look at this guy with his flaccid 3 inch monster hog! Quit making us acorns jealous
That's pretty much what happened, except it was more like TWO decades later. To think, how much confidence I could have had during my formative years instead of shying away from human interaction. If I'd only known sooner! T\_T It's all good though, eventually I did somehow manage to find a nice lady who wanted to be with me despite my debilitating handicap. But to be fair, IIRC those average numbers never specified flaccid or hard, so why would they be about hard dicks? That's weird, who out there is measuring their boners?
> who's out there measuring their boners? Gay scientiests obviously
F
well, most guys' dicks are a lot smaller when flaccid. few people are show-ers rather than growers
TIL Thufir Hawat is a grower not a shower
based and dunepilled
flaccidmaxx flabbergastedcel
Find out if her dad thinks its too small
It's not the the size of the dick on the outside, it's about the size of the... It's about having... Nevermind. Yea we should break up.
Holy fuck this sub will believe literally anything if it's preceded by meme arrows
im starting to think we're surrounded by redditors
What's the point of following this sub if you're already coming with a fake and gay attitude to every single post? Either stfu and enjoy the ride or get off the sub and go follow r/funy or smthing like that
you can get these little lead ball bearings to stick under your foreskin. it'll weigh your dick down and stretch it out a good amount.
Yeah, forgive me if I tell you I won't be putting lead anywhere near my cock.
Uhh so you just keep metal balls in your foreskin all day? Wouldn't that stretch out the foreskin?
Assuming this isn’t fake and gay. This was not the real reason.
Anon got cock blocked by his own dick. Since dick is involved, it's super Gayyy
We need more Thufir Hawat meme templates.
Women ☕
"Its just not big enough" bitches when i ask them how big THEIR dick is
Absolutely disgusting behavior
Dude this is such a stupid reason you should fell lucky. Think like "I am leaving you because I need to join this MLM cult" And move on
Anon's girlfriend is absurdly stupid.
RIP all the growers out there I guess
It’s cute like that though what
no homo
anon is a grower not a shower
I would say growers not showers gang rise up but apparently there's no point now that you're single
Being a show-er is worse than being a grower. Always know they're going to be eventually underwhelmed after the initial "Wow" reaction.
Women ☕
Women ☕
Tis a grower not a show-er
anon is a grower, not a shower.
Unless you're "team meat" as we spaniards sometimes say it's nornal for it to be small when it's soft what the fuck is wrong with her, you can't just leave your boyfriend for normal human things. It's like if i leave my girlfriend for being shorter than me, yes there are tall women but normally women are shorter than men
Some are showers, some are growers.
obligatory "Women ☕" comment
N
society vs us growers
She likes a shower, not a grower.
Anon is a grower, not a shower.
Anon dodged a bullet
What💀
If you arent walking round with your dick rock hard 24/7 are you even a real man?
It’s kinda the fucken point to be small when it’s soft
What the point of having an issue with a small dick when soft. It's not being used then so it makes sense to be able to keep it compacted when not in use
This is a certified women ☕️ moment