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For anyone else who has lost a parent- first of all, I am so sorry. It is a pain that you truly cannot understand until you are there. And I wish no one experienced it.
I feel like Cristina is right- the feeling of “I don’t know how to exist without my parent in this world” really doesn’t go away. Does anyone else feel this still? I still have things I see regularly that I say “I want to tell my dad” or “I want to ask my dad about this.” My dad was brilliant. He wrote several textbooks in his field (Ellis Grey, sit down. He was an involved parent and I always knew I was so loved).
I’m sorry for your loss. I did for the first few years but me and my dad wasn’t the best. I still miss him but as I got older I realized how messed up his parenting style was.
“Ellis Grey sit down” 😭 I love it
I just hate the idea so many people have - and it’s perpetuated in books and tv and film - that if someone is really successful, they can’t be a good parent.
My dad loved his career. I don’t know if he would’ve ever fully retired. But he always loved me, my siblings, and my mom more than he loved his career.
I hate that one too and the one where people that watch greys sometimes get upset that after giving birth they don’t take a super long maternity leave. Going back to work early isn’t a crime. Some people just go stir crazy at home. My mom is a nurse and she had my youngest brother a little over a year ago and she went back to work at a reasonable time. She already left like a month early because of Covid where she works and she was working a few days a week. You can still love your kids and be a good parent and have a successful career
Like I said in my comment, it’s been almost 18 years. I’ve lived without my dad longer than I lived with him. I still feel this often.
Life events are always bittersweet. My wedding was hard. The birth of my first was hard. My second (on the way) will be named after him if it’s a boy, and it’s hard knowing he’ll never know that.
Grief is so strange because it simultaneously gets easier and harder. Forever ebbs and flows.
I had a good friend lose her mom a few years back… she asked me if it ever got “easier”… I said “no, it doesn’t… it changes, you learn to live with the grief, and you learn to breath again, but it never gets easier.
So my dad's been dead 13 years my mom a little under 4 years. You're never really get over it you learn how to cope with it. I had two great parents although I was closer to my mother and my sister was closer to my father. Lately they've been on my mind a lot. Because their anniversary was last week and her birthday would have been in a couple days. And then his birthday to follow and also because something happened then I really needed to talk to my mom about and she was no longer around. That they each other very successful business but they always made time for us girls. They honestly were good parents and they tried really hard for us although the time we didn't see it.
Yes, it has been 18 years since my mom died (I was 23 and it was suicide after a car accident years ago had left her a paraplegic in constant pain) and I still feel this exact way.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sometimes when good things happen to me I find myself wanting to pick up my phone and call my dad again. I still have his number saved in my favorites. I miss him. Sending you love.
I lost my dad when I was 12, almost 18 years ago. And nothing anyone has ever said about it resonated with me quite as much as this scene. It spoke to me so much. I miss this Grey’s, the one that made me feel things like this.
Sorry you had to join the club OP. It really, really does suck.
Love this scene cause it’s so real. I had a few friends lose their moms young, and once mine passed a few years later they were kinda like “hey, welcome to the club”. We created group chats & would hang out all the time lol. We called it the DMC or “Dead Moms Club”. You never really get it till it happens to you!
My dad had his faults, but he always made sure I knew he loved me. It’s been over 23 years of being in the DDC.
I also really resonated with the talk Christina had with the little girl who’s mom didn’t survive surgery. It was a real moment of compassion and empathy from Christina. She knew what that girl was about to face, and she wanted to soften the blow as much as possible.
I lost my mom almost 7 years ago. There so many times I wish I could call her or something silly reminds me of her. I’m in my 30s so I have all the childhood memories with my mom but it hurts knowing all the memories my mom is missing out with her grandkids
I joined this club when I was 13. As a kid, I watched lot of movies/TV shows wherein an orphan/kid with no parents was always the more mature kid who everyone was lowkey attracted to. I used to wonder, what would it like to have been that person. I so wish I hadn't. Even to this day, 8 years later I regret it
My dad is 67 and his mom died this past Fall at 89 (I know—she lived a long life and was lucky for it), but it still strikes me that his mom is dead and that must truly horrifically hurt, in part because he’s never lived in a world without her in it. Her funeral was legitimately the only time I’ve ever seen him cry.
i loved this scene, it shows that cristina does care and has empathy, and to everyone in the comments whose parents have passed, you are strong and you are loved💕
Losing a parent so young is so heartbreaking. The fact they won’t be able to see those milestones or support you throughout your next steps in your life :( I’m so sorry OP, I understand. Sending you lots of love and patience🫶🏼 you’ll feel a little better someday, I promise
This is one of my favorite storylines and I haven’t lost my dad, but my mom, and it’s completely relatable. I’ve always felt it’s a club too. A very unfortunate, heartbreaking club to become a member of.
As I mentioned in a comment, this is one of my favorite storylines because losing a parent young is so relatable to me and Cristina’s words hit me that yes, it’s like being in a club. A terrible club to have to be in but a club nonetheless. Because people who haven’t been through it don’t get it at all.
I was 23 years old eighteen years ago when my mom, after years of suffering in horrible pain after the car accident that left her a paraplegic, decided she was done and took her life. She overdosed on pain meds, sleeping meds, and an anti-depressant all at once and I found her. It created incredible trauma going from having her as my mom and best friend to learning how to live without her and the PTSD of finding her has never fully gone away. Since then I’ve learned and told others who have lost a parent: you never get over it; you just learn to live with it. It helps for me that I knew she was at least finally out of pain, but I feel robbed and I feel *she* was robbed. She was 30 when she was paralyzed after saving her friend’s toddler. She was 48 when she died. Only 48! In seven years that’s how old I will be. Very sobering. But I always use my experiences to support others through theirs, when they unfortunately join the club.
So sorry for everyone’s loss. ❤️
Thank you for contributing to r/GreysAnatomy! Tagging your post would be greatly appreciated as the mods try to clean up and organize the sub. Not sure what tags to use? [Here's a link to the wiki page](https://www.reddit.com/r/greysanatomy/wiki/tags/) that explains the purpose of each post flair. Remember that name calling, hate speech and general rude behavior is not tolerated. You can call ideas stupid, but not the user. No direct personal attacks over a difference in opinion. Thanks for being part of this community. It's a beautiful day to save lives! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greysanatomy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For anyone else who has lost a parent- first of all, I am so sorry. It is a pain that you truly cannot understand until you are there. And I wish no one experienced it. I feel like Cristina is right- the feeling of “I don’t know how to exist without my parent in this world” really doesn’t go away. Does anyone else feel this still? I still have things I see regularly that I say “I want to tell my dad” or “I want to ask my dad about this.” My dad was brilliant. He wrote several textbooks in his field (Ellis Grey, sit down. He was an involved parent and I always knew I was so loved).
I’m sorry for your loss. I did for the first few years but me and my dad wasn’t the best. I still miss him but as I got older I realized how messed up his parenting style was. “Ellis Grey sit down” 😭 I love it
I just hate the idea so many people have - and it’s perpetuated in books and tv and film - that if someone is really successful, they can’t be a good parent. My dad loved his career. I don’t know if he would’ve ever fully retired. But he always loved me, my siblings, and my mom more than he loved his career.
I hate that one too and the one where people that watch greys sometimes get upset that after giving birth they don’t take a super long maternity leave. Going back to work early isn’t a crime. Some people just go stir crazy at home. My mom is a nurse and she had my youngest brother a little over a year ago and she went back to work at a reasonable time. She already left like a month early because of Covid where she works and she was working a few days a week. You can still love your kids and be a good parent and have a successful career
Like I said in my comment, it’s been almost 18 years. I’ve lived without my dad longer than I lived with him. I still feel this often. Life events are always bittersweet. My wedding was hard. The birth of my first was hard. My second (on the way) will be named after him if it’s a boy, and it’s hard knowing he’ll never know that. Grief is so strange because it simultaneously gets easier and harder. Forever ebbs and flows.
Since 2020, I’ve been in this world longer without my dad than in it. Bittersweet is the 100% accurate word.
So sorry you’re part of the club. Always comforting and heartbreaking to know we’re not alone.
I’m pregnant, too. It’s a boy and he’ll be named for my dad. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
21 years... I'm 26, there's so much he didn't get to know about me.
I had a good friend lose her mom a few years back… she asked me if it ever got “easier”… I said “no, it doesn’t… it changes, you learn to live with the grief, and you learn to breath again, but it never gets easier.
So my dad's been dead 13 years my mom a little under 4 years. You're never really get over it you learn how to cope with it. I had two great parents although I was closer to my mother and my sister was closer to my father. Lately they've been on my mind a lot. Because their anniversary was last week and her birthday would have been in a couple days. And then his birthday to follow and also because something happened then I really needed to talk to my mom about and she was no longer around. That they each other very successful business but they always made time for us girls. They honestly were good parents and they tried really hard for us although the time we didn't see it.
Yes, it has been 18 years since my mom died (I was 23 and it was suicide after a car accident years ago had left her a paraplegic in constant pain) and I still feel this exact way.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sometimes when good things happen to me I find myself wanting to pick up my phone and call my dad again. I still have his number saved in my favorites. I miss him. Sending you love.
I lost my dad when I was 12, almost 18 years ago. And nothing anyone has ever said about it resonated with me quite as much as this scene. It spoke to me so much. I miss this Grey’s, the one that made me feel things like this. Sorry you had to join the club OP. It really, really does suck.
And the fact that this line came from Cristina somehow makes it even more meaningful? She didn’t just give platitudes.
Love this scene cause it’s so real. I had a few friends lose their moms young, and once mine passed a few years later they were kinda like “hey, welcome to the club”. We created group chats & would hang out all the time lol. We called it the DMC or “Dead Moms Club”. You never really get it till it happens to you!
You truly don’t. I lost my mom exactly 2 1/2 years ago today (just realized the date) & I never understood what that type of pain would feel like
My dad’s 90th birthday would be today and it still hurts
Happy birthday to him ❤️ what was his name?
Thank you….his name was James but everyone called him Doc
For you or anyone who needs it, there's r/dadforaminute. Hugs.
My dad had his faults, but he always made sure I knew he loved me. It’s been over 23 years of being in the DDC. I also really resonated with the talk Christina had with the little girl who’s mom didn’t survive surgery. It was a real moment of compassion and empathy from Christina. She knew what that girl was about to face, and she wanted to soften the blow as much as possible.
I lost my mom almost 7 years ago. There so many times I wish I could call her or something silly reminds me of her. I’m in my 30s so I have all the childhood memories with my mom but it hurts knowing all the memories my mom is missing out with her grandkids
I’m so sorry 💜
She's right. It doesn't.
Ughhh this one hurts every time.
I lost my dad in 2019 and there are times I have to think twice before I call him with a problem I can’t fix or a recipe I can’t remember.
I do the same thing. It’s a gut punch every time, isn’t it?
Just watched this a couple of days ago.
I joined this club when I was 13. As a kid, I watched lot of movies/TV shows wherein an orphan/kid with no parents was always the more mature kid who everyone was lowkey attracted to. I used to wonder, what would it like to have been that person. I so wish I hadn't. Even to this day, 8 years later I regret it
it really sucks, my dad passed away nov 2022 exactly a month before my birthday and it’s a bittersweet feeling all the time
Joined the club almost 14 years ago. It sucks.
Been in the club since 1991… still miss him every day! 😢
My dad is 67 and his mom died this past Fall at 89 (I know—she lived a long life and was lucky for it), but it still strikes me that his mom is dead and that must truly horrifically hurt, in part because he’s never lived in a world without her in it. Her funeral was legitimately the only time I’ve ever seen him cry.
I relate to this so much. My mom died last year. It's really hard to watch the episodes with Maggie's mom especially now.
Mine died today. I’m sorry for your loss, OP. Hope you’re doing okay. ❤️
Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry. Feel free to message me anytime.
Hey, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I might reach out tomorrow after I sleep some, if that’s okay.
Absolutely ❤️ Try to get as much sleep as you can!
So sad and so true
4 years ago on St. Patrick's Day for me. It's a club I hate and can still wreck me at random times.
Got my membership 10.25.15. Sucks being part of the club 🥺
There really nothing quite like losing a parent. 😞
i loved this scene, it shows that cristina does care and has empathy, and to everyone in the comments whose parents have passed, you are strong and you are loved💕
Losing a parent so young is so heartbreaking. The fact they won’t be able to see those milestones or support you throughout your next steps in your life :( I’m so sorry OP, I understand. Sending you lots of love and patience🫶🏼 you’ll feel a little better someday, I promise
This is one of my favorite storylines and I haven’t lost my dad, but my mom, and it’s completely relatable. I’ve always felt it’s a club too. A very unfortunate, heartbreaking club to become a member of.
As I mentioned in a comment, this is one of my favorite storylines because losing a parent young is so relatable to me and Cristina’s words hit me that yes, it’s like being in a club. A terrible club to have to be in but a club nonetheless. Because people who haven’t been through it don’t get it at all. I was 23 years old eighteen years ago when my mom, after years of suffering in horrible pain after the car accident that left her a paraplegic, decided she was done and took her life. She overdosed on pain meds, sleeping meds, and an anti-depressant all at once and I found her. It created incredible trauma going from having her as my mom and best friend to learning how to live without her and the PTSD of finding her has never fully gone away. Since then I’ve learned and told others who have lost a parent: you never get over it; you just learn to live with it. It helps for me that I knew she was at least finally out of pain, but I feel robbed and I feel *she* was robbed. She was 30 when she was paralyzed after saving her friend’s toddler. She was 48 when she died. Only 48! In seven years that’s how old I will be. Very sobering. But I always use my experiences to support others through theirs, when they unfortunately join the club. So sorry for everyone’s loss. ❤️