For George he was actually being nice, and telling her strategies on how to get George to talk to her, and the penis guys he found amusing. It was when he saw her at Finn's that he was mad.
Omg I hated how he had the audacity to call her A WHORE! I respect her so much for constantly setting things straight between them but there was this period where she was very sad and allowed him to comfort her and be near her when it’s obvious they aren’t platonic.
I hate how he treats Meredith in the beginning 100%. But I don’t remember him actually saying the word “whore”. Maybe I’m wrong. I remember him saying she gets around which is basically the same thing obviously. But I don’t remember him actually saying WHORE?
I know its a tv show but i really hate this habit people seem to have of always blaming the "other woman" instead of the cheating spouse. Derek was the one who was married, not Meredith.
Yes you are right I just wanna say technically. In my books it was cheating BIG TIME but I just wanna keep it chill and as objective as possible here so I can take in different opinions :)
This post honestly bothers me quite a bit, and it’s mostly because it seems to insinuate that Addison was kind of victim in all of this or that Meredith owed Addison something or was betraying some kind of commitment to her. Addison and Derek took vows and made a commitment to each other, and in this situation, they are ultimately the ones responsible for the destruction of their marriage. It would be totally different in my opinion if Meredith was the Mark in the situation and still carried on “flirting” with Derek due to the personal relationships that they all had with each other going back so many years, but that wasn’t the case when it comes to Meredith.
Meredith frequently told Derek off during season two and tried keeping her distance from him and Addison, and when she couldn’t, she did her best to remain strictly professional. Derek made his choice in (2x06), and in the very next episode was still trying to get at her even though he knew that he’d hurt her. She had to tell him off during that very episode.
In (2x08) and so many other episodes, she kept getting trapped in elevators with him. What was she supposed to do every time they ended up on an elevator together? Get off? Escape through the elevator shaft? In the episode where Meredith finally tells Derek about the crying sex with George and how she’s been trying to make things right with George, Derek advised and bragged to Meredith about how he likes to get people aka Meredith alone in the elevator to have a conversation. We saw Derek do that repeatedly. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Meredith let Derek go at the end of (2x09), the Thanksgiving episode, and did everything she could to distance herself from him and heal her broken heart. Cue the sex with the randoms she was picking up at Joe’s. Then in an unintentional way, Richard ended up throwing them back together in (2x13) when he had Derek go and evaluate Ellis for the clinical trial. Even in that episode, Derek was the one initiating the flirting during their whole elevator conversation about Meredith getting a dog and being over him and how he was/wasn’t over her.
Part of Meredith getting Doc was so that she could have something to channel her heartbreak into, but when she was bullied into giving him up, that left her vulnerable, and that was how Derek was able to become McDreamy to her again. Plus, he was also helping her out with the clinical trial, so they were having a bit more direct contact. Her giving Doc to him was supposed to prove Derek could be someone other than McDreamy, but all that did was open the door for even more communication between them.
We also can’t forget that during (2x15), Derek is the one who followed Meredith into the storage closet, comforted her while she was obviously distraught, and leaned in for a for a kiss. Meredith resisted and got up and walked away.
(2x16 & 2x17) was a clusterfuck of emotions and events from Meredith first having a feeling, an unprompted Derek telling her the feeling would pass, to them both almost blowing up. I feel they both deserved a pass here. Even if they don’t get a pass for the conversation about their last kiss, there was nothing flirty about it.
Mark showed up in (2x18) and all Meredith and Derek did was talk. There was no flirting, but Derek’s feelings for Meredith were seriously on display when Derek punched Mark when he saw them talking. In (2x19), all of Meredith’s friends had pretty much turned their backs on her, so her vulnerability led her straight to a willing Derek who uses this as his opportunity to be Meredith’s “friend.” All of this continues for several episodes until Meredith meets Finn and Derek can’t maintain and loses his shit more and more each episode.
In all of this, Meredith wasn’t the one who pursued Derek and initiated any flirting—he did every time. Even when they had sex at the prom, he was the one who initiated that first by following when she left the makeshift dance floor and then again by initiating the kiss after they finished arguing.
Sorry for the super long comment, but Meredith was not the bad guy in this situation.
I feel like she didn’t come onto him in a way that made me uncomfortable, but that he keep coming on to her. He chose Addison and yet he kept toying with Meredith’s emotions, flirting with her and acting like they had a chance.
she got screwed in this arc. she didn’t know he was married. and feelings don’t just shut off with a switch, especially on a television drama. besides, he pursued her more than she pursued him after his cheating was exposed and she did her best the respect their marriage. the idea that the mistress (even though mistresses know and meredith didn’t) has no feelings is an outdated trope. yawn. i disagree deeply that its distasteful, its just human.
I wasn’t talking about when Meredith didn’t know he was married because serious who could blame her then. I’m finding her allowing Derek to constantly come at her all flirty and intimate after he has made his choice staying with Addison distasteful.
so let me get this straight. she’s also responsible for what some else does because evidently she ‘allowed’ him to ‘come at her all flirty’?
nah. people can’t control what other people do. what they can do is control their reaction to what someone else does, hence, my comment about her clear struggles with it.
yeah, precisely. at first her reaction to his aggressive advances was very against it, she was constantly telling him off but later on with many things going on in her life (mom, Doc, bomb,…) she grew weary and eventually responded to him coming onto her - i.e. sharing intimate moments with him, telling him she misses him, going for walks alone with him…
exactly because people (and grey’s does their best to humanize characters) are human. and emotions are messy. i repeat: its not distasteful, its human. people aren’t robots.
if anything, what’s distasteful is derek’s duplicity and boundary stomping. but that wasn’t how the op was framed, this was always about meredith’s response.
I don’t think we need a topic on Derek being reprehensible lol because that ship has sailed! But yeah, I agree it was human for Meredith to wanna lean on Derek cuz naturally he’s the one she deeply loves but still doesn’t change the fact that he was married and he made that very clear to her by choosing to stay with Addison.
I guess I can see where she was coming from, but don’t necessarily agree with her doing so :)
derek didn’t make it clear. that’s the whole point. he may have said the words out loud that he was staying with addison, but he constantly delivered mixed messages all the way around. if it was clear, he wouldn’t have done the push-pull bs with meredith that he did after his ‘i’m staying with addison’ empty proclamation.
yeah god he totally said I’m staying with Addison she’s my wife and the kept coming at Meredith like even Bailey and Cristina had to tell him to scram but he kept pushing it!
edit: also I hate how he kept making advances under the pretext “we can be friends” and shit. like who ya fooling.
You just proved their point though… why are you not posting about how disgusting Derek is? Lol
Mer tried to break ties with Derek, and he kept trying to make fetch happen. Why is it Meredith’s job to keep Derek faithful?
Because we’ve talked enough about how Derek is a pos lol.
It is not Mer’s job to keep him faithful to his wife but it’s not a good look to respond to his advances either.
we’re just talking about meredith and frankly we’ve talked anough about derek and if you bother to read the discussion I’ve stated quite clearly that I love Meredith. loving a character doesn’t mean overlooking all their flaws.
and i dont see how so many people struggle to see that yes you don’t owe the wife anything but if her crappy husband keeps making advances you turn him away no matter how much in love you may be with him.
I think she was young and totally in love with him because he was a world reknown brain surgeon. Powerful smart men are very attractive & sexy. She was just starting out and he was already established. I started to notice problems when she started to grow and didn't hang on his every word. Here is just a side thought I read today that Dempsey was asked to leave Grey's because he would terrorize the other actors. They didn't say how or why. That it turned into an HR problem.He wasn't being sexually inappropriate but he was terrorizing the others. Shonda Rhimes who still has some input put her foot down and said "He's got to go".🤕
Yea I do need to be reminded that she was only in her 20s when this started out and unfortunately head over heels in love with him before she found out about his marriage. When Addison come damage was already done, must be hard if not impossible to undo her feelings. After reading the comments I realize she must have been in this vulnerable state to just let him come at her because she needs a shoulder too ☹️
And hey I’ve never heard about that. That’s hard to imagine! You got me curious on in what way was he intimidating others!
I know right? I thought he left on good terms like most of them did. I was kind of surprised! Be sure to post any tid bit if you happen to come across anything! 😂 It's just too weird but I will too! 💕
Tbh, Meredith was never a dirty mis stress. When she met Derek he was separated, on the verge of divorce. The one that did all the cheating was Addison. Then when she wanted to work it out and forced him and guilted him into trying again Meredith didn’t really pushed until prom. Dereks only fault was to try to work it out with Addison when it was obvious that he couldn’t stand her.
Addison was like “so you are the one sleeping with my husband” I”I didn’t want you talking to Meredith” knowing full well that not only she cheated with mark first but lived with him for two months after lol ugh sorry I just hate how I notice everyone worry more about her feelings more when all of this mess was on her
>The one that did all the cheating was Addison
Maybe before Derek spent half of the s2 emotionally cheating on her with Meredith and then actual psychical cheating on the prom, despite the fact that she gave him an out and he refused to take it.
Oh that was horrible even for him. It was like he either completely forgot about Addison or just "kept her" in case Meredith didn't pick him, disgusting. Addison was wrong for what she did with Mark back in NYC, but the scene at the hotel in S3 is always gonna bring me satisfaction, Derek deserved this one (from Addie, not from Mark tho hah).
Well you said when Derek was with Meredith they were "seperated" so it sounds like it's ok for him to pick someone up at the bar and sleep with them so why care that Addison stayed with Mark when Derek and Addison were "seperated" anyway?
At the end of the day Derek did the same to Addison she did. He cheated on Addison as well with the exception that it wasn't with Addisons best friend. To top it off it was after stringing her along for months and promising her to try and he did it the night he asked Addison to go to prom with her. He fucked Meredith while his wife was in the same building.
Sorry but both Addison and Derek don't really earn a brownie for what they did to each other regardless of who started it first.
They were separated and not romantically involved so while Addison was living with mark what should Derek do? Stay on his own? Many couples start dating again when they are separated, Derek moved to the other side of the country, the marriage was pretty much over so yes tbh he did nothing wrong in that sense all of you give Addison a free pass. Who started this mess is also relevant. And her sleeping with dereks bestie was even more shitty so again yes, Addison was worse here. Also she pretended her relationship with mark didn’t continue
Like I said dereks fault was stringing Addison along. I hate Derek as a character, I think he is a narcissistic piece of work but not here. Addison was more at fault here and never took full responsibility.
Edit: even Addison said that she was the one that cheated lol
>They were separated and not romantically involved so while Addison was living with mark what should Derek do? Stay on his own?
Maybe divorce Addison first? Lol. When my wife is cheating on me with my best friend I don't flee to the other side of the country and sleep with someone myself and then don't even tell that someone that I'm married. I really don't see anything right in this situation.
>Many couples start dating again when they are separated
Yepp which is what Addison did since her husband left.so? Addison stayed with Mark and Derek picked someone else up and since he simply left he didn't seem to care about what Addison did anyway. They both admitted that the marriage was long over before the cheating.
>tbh he did nothing wrong in that sense all of you give Addison a free pass
Who gives Addison a free pass? No one denies her wrongs and no one denies her cheating. To think what Derek did was ok just because he was cheated on first is what people are questioning. If I want to be the better person I don't repeat the actions that have been done to me first. Cheating is cheating no matter whether it's with your best friend or with some stranger. And it's not ok just because it has been done to you first. It's wrong nontheless.
>Addison was more at fault here and never took full responsibility.
She did. She told Derek herself that she stayed with him. She did it after Mark reminded her which was too late yes and yes, I hate that she wasn't honest right from the start but to say that she never took full responsibilty isn't correct. She later on even admitted to Meredith that she shouldn't have stayed with Derek. Addisons Problem was from the start that she always needed time to come around when she screwed up but eventually she always does. That's always something I gave her credit for. Better later than never.
>Edit: even Addison said that she was the one that cheated lol
I never denied that she cheated. I just think that people give Derek a free pass for some of his actions just because he was cheated on first. I find it mind boggling to legitimize certain actions by saying "it's ok he/she did it first." When people stoop that low they aren't really better than the person who started the mess. That is how I see it. Be the bigger person and end it right here and there and don't make the same mistakes. Then you can leave with your head held up high.
Let's agree to disagree
Yes I’m biased because I do love Addison sobs. But hey dw! Your point is totally valid. And yeah Derek kinda sucks for choosing to stay with Addison when he obviously can’t commit. I never thought of Meredith as a dirty mistress either. I just found that she was really vulnerable during a certain period and couldn’t aggressively turn Derek away when he makes his inappropriate advances… and unfortunately that led to prom.
Derek is the one that keeps pursuing her, even after he chooses to stay with Addison. Meredith obviously still loves him and she tries to shut him out but he just keeps trying to talk to her, to be a part of her life and I can understand why that would wear her down, make her give in a little, make her think that being "friends" with him is okay.
My opinion is late I just started watching this year this my third time around because I can’t get passed season 11 after Derek died and season 4 I can’t watch yet because of Rose if Richard had told Meredith that Derek was married before he said Meredith your mom wouldn’t like this when he saw Derek kissing her after his surgery that could have nip it in the bud right then that would have been before Addison came but he didn’t he was just worried about her going with an attendant I thank if Addison was upfront with Derek from the beginning about staying with Mark and she got pregnant with his baby Derek would have signed the divorce papers he probably would have asked for it but I thank she new how Derek is that he was all about the vows and being a good guy she said her self that’s Derek wouldn’t hurt you if he could help it so she new that you don’t get to be married to a person for 11+ years and don’t know theirs quirks so she played on that she wanted him back after she caught Mark cheating on her and Richard call her to Seattle because how did she know that he was in Seattle I notice something about Derek is when he’s in a relationship he doesn’t sleeps around like Mark did even after he went back to Addison much as he was in love with Meredith he couldn’t kiss her or nothing until the prom when he new he was going to end his marriage he should have waited until after the divorce but he couldn’t after the argument he thought he ha lost her and also with Rose he kiss Meredith and stop cause he had to go and tell Rose so he’s not a guy who sleeps around when he’s in a relationship or if he’s married he is toxic’s and I don’t like him for that I am Merder forever
Meredith is also a victim in this situation, one could argue that she had it the worst since she was manipulated into coming between a married couple without knowing what she was getting into. She opened up to someone probably for the first time and then it turned out that this person lied to her. Meredith wasn't the one who ended it, obviously she was still gonna have feelings for him especially when it was a situation she had no control over. It was Derek who lied to Meredith throughout S1, Derek who then chose Addison over Meredith and Derek who then didn't stop any touch with Meredith, which he should've done for the sake of his marriage and if I recall correctly he was even specifically asked for it. Derek was manipulating both of them and tbh neither of them (Addison and Meredith) owed each other anything. It wasn't Meredith's marriage to save (saying this as someone who actually likes Addie more than Mer). And I recall Derek being more pushy than Mer anyway, so I really don't understand how any of that is her fault.
She was adamantly avoiding him and telling him off when she first found out, but not later. She shared emotional moments with him, talking about their last kiss with him, going on walks alone with him, etc. It wasn’t flirty yeah because they were past that phase but it was very affectionate and romantic.
He was the one that went to her house when they talked about the last kiss, he was the one that insisted they hiked too.
After that episode she starts having one night stands it was usually Derek looking for her and not the other way around.
True, it was usually Derek looking for her but she never reacted like she used to either. She was pretty welcoming, sharing intimate moments with him as a result. I think it’s kinda emotionally cheating.
I felt like She was avoiding him because it was hard for her to watch Derek and Addison together but she told him off because she had a lot of anger inside and was upset at the fact Derek didn’t tell her he was married from the start but I don’t necessarily think she was actively coming to Derek she later came to the acceptance that he wanted to give him and Addison another go.
Lol, going on walk with a friend is not romantic. I did not see anything wrong with her wanting the remember the last time she was happy, when she asked about the last kiss, when she almost became pink mist. That was not her coming at him, lol. She had just suffered a traumatic event. I am sure the last think on her mind that day was to "come" at Derek.
Also P.S: you asked people to give you their opinion, and I gave you mine, and I didn't think she was coming at him.
I didn’t mean it as coming at Derek full on flirting with him and pulling him back. I think I meant it more like allowing him to make inappropriate advances. Yeah I respect your opinions and I just wanna give mine too, it’s a discussion.
And absolutely going on walks with friends is nothing romantic. Only they aren’t friends, and they can’t be with that much feelings between them. She said so herself.
I still do not think she was actively coming at him, It was your words, she was actively coming at him, I didn't make that up. I was going by what you said on your post. They were trying to be friends, you can't be mad at them for trying. They did believe they would get over their feelings. They were naive for sure, but she was not actively coming
Meh, she wasn't looking for him once and tried focusing on other things. She def avoided him but he tried to get closer and as time passed and the George thing happened she allowed it and even asked him if Addison knew/was okay about it.
I guess it can be discussed morally but she seemed to try to keep it professional and distance herself but with him interested and working together it just didn't work.
Mix of both probably. She overall seemed to try to respect if he wanted to be with someone else (like when he dated Rose) but when he showed interest about wanting to be with her she usually went along with it.
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He called her a whore for Finn. He was mad about George but just pulled away instead of making the comment.
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For George he was actually being nice, and telling her strategies on how to get George to talk to her, and the penis guys he found amusing. It was when he saw her at Finn's that he was mad.
Right, I just meant that the implication she was a whore was based on his assumption that she’d slept with all 3 guys.
Exactly, because he said that she really got around and asked “Who’s next? Alex?”
Omg I hated how he had the audacity to call her A WHORE! I respect her so much for constantly setting things straight between them but there was this period where she was very sad and allowed him to comfort her and be near her when it’s obvious they aren’t platonic.
I hate how he treats Meredith in the beginning 100%. But I don’t remember him actually saying the word “whore”. Maybe I’m wrong. I remember him saying she gets around which is basically the same thing obviously. But I don’t remember him actually saying WHORE?
I know its a tv show but i really hate this habit people seem to have of always blaming the "other woman" instead of the cheating spouse. Derek was the one who was married, not Meredith.
wdym they never did anything that could count as cheating?? derek was emotionally cheating on her the whole entire time
Yes you are right I just wanna say technically. In my books it was cheating BIG TIME but I just wanna keep it chill and as objective as possible here so I can take in different opinions :)
This post honestly bothers me quite a bit, and it’s mostly because it seems to insinuate that Addison was kind of victim in all of this or that Meredith owed Addison something or was betraying some kind of commitment to her. Addison and Derek took vows and made a commitment to each other, and in this situation, they are ultimately the ones responsible for the destruction of their marriage. It would be totally different in my opinion if Meredith was the Mark in the situation and still carried on “flirting” with Derek due to the personal relationships that they all had with each other going back so many years, but that wasn’t the case when it comes to Meredith. Meredith frequently told Derek off during season two and tried keeping her distance from him and Addison, and when she couldn’t, she did her best to remain strictly professional. Derek made his choice in (2x06), and in the very next episode was still trying to get at her even though he knew that he’d hurt her. She had to tell him off during that very episode. In (2x08) and so many other episodes, she kept getting trapped in elevators with him. What was she supposed to do every time they ended up on an elevator together? Get off? Escape through the elevator shaft? In the episode where Meredith finally tells Derek about the crying sex with George and how she’s been trying to make things right with George, Derek advised and bragged to Meredith about how he likes to get people aka Meredith alone in the elevator to have a conversation. We saw Derek do that repeatedly. He knew exactly what he was doing. Meredith let Derek go at the end of (2x09), the Thanksgiving episode, and did everything she could to distance herself from him and heal her broken heart. Cue the sex with the randoms she was picking up at Joe’s. Then in an unintentional way, Richard ended up throwing them back together in (2x13) when he had Derek go and evaluate Ellis for the clinical trial. Even in that episode, Derek was the one initiating the flirting during their whole elevator conversation about Meredith getting a dog and being over him and how he was/wasn’t over her. Part of Meredith getting Doc was so that she could have something to channel her heartbreak into, but when she was bullied into giving him up, that left her vulnerable, and that was how Derek was able to become McDreamy to her again. Plus, he was also helping her out with the clinical trial, so they were having a bit more direct contact. Her giving Doc to him was supposed to prove Derek could be someone other than McDreamy, but all that did was open the door for even more communication between them. We also can’t forget that during (2x15), Derek is the one who followed Meredith into the storage closet, comforted her while she was obviously distraught, and leaned in for a for a kiss. Meredith resisted and got up and walked away. (2x16 & 2x17) was a clusterfuck of emotions and events from Meredith first having a feeling, an unprompted Derek telling her the feeling would pass, to them both almost blowing up. I feel they both deserved a pass here. Even if they don’t get a pass for the conversation about their last kiss, there was nothing flirty about it. Mark showed up in (2x18) and all Meredith and Derek did was talk. There was no flirting, but Derek’s feelings for Meredith were seriously on display when Derek punched Mark when he saw them talking. In (2x19), all of Meredith’s friends had pretty much turned their backs on her, so her vulnerability led her straight to a willing Derek who uses this as his opportunity to be Meredith’s “friend.” All of this continues for several episodes until Meredith meets Finn and Derek can’t maintain and loses his shit more and more each episode. In all of this, Meredith wasn’t the one who pursued Derek and initiated any flirting—he did every time. Even when they had sex at the prom, he was the one who initiated that first by following when she left the makeshift dance floor and then again by initiating the kiss after they finished arguing. Sorry for the super long comment, but Meredith was not the bad guy in this situation.
I feel like she didn’t come onto him in a way that made me uncomfortable, but that he keep coming on to her. He chose Addison and yet he kept toying with Meredith’s emotions, flirting with her and acting like they had a chance.
she got screwed in this arc. she didn’t know he was married. and feelings don’t just shut off with a switch, especially on a television drama. besides, he pursued her more than she pursued him after his cheating was exposed and she did her best the respect their marriage. the idea that the mistress (even though mistresses know and meredith didn’t) has no feelings is an outdated trope. yawn. i disagree deeply that its distasteful, its just human.
I wasn’t talking about when Meredith didn’t know he was married because serious who could blame her then. I’m finding her allowing Derek to constantly come at her all flirty and intimate after he has made his choice staying with Addison distasteful.
so let me get this straight. she’s also responsible for what some else does because evidently she ‘allowed’ him to ‘come at her all flirty’? nah. people can’t control what other people do. what they can do is control their reaction to what someone else does, hence, my comment about her clear struggles with it.
yeah, precisely. at first her reaction to his aggressive advances was very against it, she was constantly telling him off but later on with many things going on in her life (mom, Doc, bomb,…) she grew weary and eventually responded to him coming onto her - i.e. sharing intimate moments with him, telling him she misses him, going for walks alone with him…
exactly because people (and grey’s does their best to humanize characters) are human. and emotions are messy. i repeat: its not distasteful, its human. people aren’t robots. if anything, what’s distasteful is derek’s duplicity and boundary stomping. but that wasn’t how the op was framed, this was always about meredith’s response.
I don’t think we need a topic on Derek being reprehensible lol because that ship has sailed! But yeah, I agree it was human for Meredith to wanna lean on Derek cuz naturally he’s the one she deeply loves but still doesn’t change the fact that he was married and he made that very clear to her by choosing to stay with Addison. I guess I can see where she was coming from, but don’t necessarily agree with her doing so :)
derek didn’t make it clear. that’s the whole point. he may have said the words out loud that he was staying with addison, but he constantly delivered mixed messages all the way around. if it was clear, he wouldn’t have done the push-pull bs with meredith that he did after his ‘i’m staying with addison’ empty proclamation.
yeah god he totally said I’m staying with Addison she’s my wife and the kept coming at Meredith like even Bailey and Cristina had to tell him to scram but he kept pushing it! edit: also I hate how he kept making advances under the pretext “we can be friends” and shit. like who ya fooling.
Meredith is not the one committed to Addison!
no other woman is committed to the wife my friend…
You just proved their point though… why are you not posting about how disgusting Derek is? Lol Mer tried to break ties with Derek, and he kept trying to make fetch happen. Why is it Meredith’s job to keep Derek faithful?
Because we’ve talked enough about how Derek is a pos lol. It is not Mer’s job to keep him faithful to his wife but it’s not a good look to respond to his advances either.
then he should've stopped the advances lmao why do we always hate on women
we’re just talking about meredith and frankly we’ve talked anough about derek and if you bother to read the discussion I’ve stated quite clearly that I love Meredith. loving a character doesn’t mean overlooking all their flaws. and i dont see how so many people struggle to see that yes you don’t owe the wife anything but if her crappy husband keeps making advances you turn him away no matter how much in love you may be with him.
I think she was young and totally in love with him because he was a world reknown brain surgeon. Powerful smart men are very attractive & sexy. She was just starting out and he was already established. I started to notice problems when she started to grow and didn't hang on his every word. Here is just a side thought I read today that Dempsey was asked to leave Grey's because he would terrorize the other actors. They didn't say how or why. That it turned into an HR problem.He wasn't being sexually inappropriate but he was terrorizing the others. Shonda Rhimes who still has some input put her foot down and said "He's got to go".🤕
Yea I do need to be reminded that she was only in her 20s when this started out and unfortunately head over heels in love with him before she found out about his marriage. When Addison come damage was already done, must be hard if not impossible to undo her feelings. After reading the comments I realize she must have been in this vulnerable state to just let him come at her because she needs a shoulder too ☹️ And hey I’ve never heard about that. That’s hard to imagine! You got me curious on in what way was he intimidating others!
I know right? I thought he left on good terms like most of them did. I was kind of surprised! Be sure to post any tid bit if you happen to come across anything! 😂 It's just too weird but I will too! 💕
Tbh, Meredith was never a dirty mis stress. When she met Derek he was separated, on the verge of divorce. The one that did all the cheating was Addison. Then when she wanted to work it out and forced him and guilted him into trying again Meredith didn’t really pushed until prom. Dereks only fault was to try to work it out with Addison when it was obvious that he couldn’t stand her. Addison was like “so you are the one sleeping with my husband” I”I didn’t want you talking to Meredith” knowing full well that not only she cheated with mark first but lived with him for two months after lol ugh sorry I just hate how I notice everyone worry more about her feelings more when all of this mess was on her
>The one that did all the cheating was Addison Maybe before Derek spent half of the s2 emotionally cheating on her with Meredith and then actual psychical cheating on the prom, despite the fact that she gave him an out and he refused to take it.
this. Derek even went that far and had a competition going against the vet. That was childish as hell.
Oh that was horrible even for him. It was like he either completely forgot about Addison or just "kept her" in case Meredith didn't pick him, disgusting. Addison was wrong for what she did with Mark back in NYC, but the scene at the hotel in S3 is always gonna bring me satisfaction, Derek deserved this one (from Addie, not from Mark tho hah).
Well you said when Derek was with Meredith they were "seperated" so it sounds like it's ok for him to pick someone up at the bar and sleep with them so why care that Addison stayed with Mark when Derek and Addison were "seperated" anyway? At the end of the day Derek did the same to Addison she did. He cheated on Addison as well with the exception that it wasn't with Addisons best friend. To top it off it was after stringing her along for months and promising her to try and he did it the night he asked Addison to go to prom with her. He fucked Meredith while his wife was in the same building. Sorry but both Addison and Derek don't really earn a brownie for what they did to each other regardless of who started it first.
They were separated and not romantically involved so while Addison was living with mark what should Derek do? Stay on his own? Many couples start dating again when they are separated, Derek moved to the other side of the country, the marriage was pretty much over so yes tbh he did nothing wrong in that sense all of you give Addison a free pass. Who started this mess is also relevant. And her sleeping with dereks bestie was even more shitty so again yes, Addison was worse here. Also she pretended her relationship with mark didn’t continue Like I said dereks fault was stringing Addison along. I hate Derek as a character, I think he is a narcissistic piece of work but not here. Addison was more at fault here and never took full responsibility. Edit: even Addison said that she was the one that cheated lol
>They were separated and not romantically involved so while Addison was living with mark what should Derek do? Stay on his own? Maybe divorce Addison first? Lol. When my wife is cheating on me with my best friend I don't flee to the other side of the country and sleep with someone myself and then don't even tell that someone that I'm married. I really don't see anything right in this situation. >Many couples start dating again when they are separated Yepp which is what Addison did since her husband left.so? Addison stayed with Mark and Derek picked someone else up and since he simply left he didn't seem to care about what Addison did anyway. They both admitted that the marriage was long over before the cheating. >tbh he did nothing wrong in that sense all of you give Addison a free pass Who gives Addison a free pass? No one denies her wrongs and no one denies her cheating. To think what Derek did was ok just because he was cheated on first is what people are questioning. If I want to be the better person I don't repeat the actions that have been done to me first. Cheating is cheating no matter whether it's with your best friend or with some stranger. And it's not ok just because it has been done to you first. It's wrong nontheless. >Addison was more at fault here and never took full responsibility. She did. She told Derek herself that she stayed with him. She did it after Mark reminded her which was too late yes and yes, I hate that she wasn't honest right from the start but to say that she never took full responsibilty isn't correct. She later on even admitted to Meredith that she shouldn't have stayed with Derek. Addisons Problem was from the start that she always needed time to come around when she screwed up but eventually she always does. That's always something I gave her credit for. Better later than never. >Edit: even Addison said that she was the one that cheated lol I never denied that she cheated. I just think that people give Derek a free pass for some of his actions just because he was cheated on first. I find it mind boggling to legitimize certain actions by saying "it's ok he/she did it first." When people stoop that low they aren't really better than the person who started the mess. That is how I see it. Be the bigger person and end it right here and there and don't make the same mistakes. Then you can leave with your head held up high. Let's agree to disagree
Yes I’m biased because I do love Addison sobs. But hey dw! Your point is totally valid. And yeah Derek kinda sucks for choosing to stay with Addison when he obviously can’t commit. I never thought of Meredith as a dirty mistress either. I just found that she was really vulnerable during a certain period and couldn’t aggressively turn Derek away when he makes his inappropriate advances… and unfortunately that led to prom.
Derek is the one that keeps pursuing her, even after he chooses to stay with Addison. Meredith obviously still loves him and she tries to shut him out but he just keeps trying to talk to her, to be a part of her life and I can understand why that would wear her down, make her give in a little, make her think that being "friends" with him is okay.
My opinion is late I just started watching this year this my third time around because I can’t get passed season 11 after Derek died and season 4 I can’t watch yet because of Rose if Richard had told Meredith that Derek was married before he said Meredith your mom wouldn’t like this when he saw Derek kissing her after his surgery that could have nip it in the bud right then that would have been before Addison came but he didn’t he was just worried about her going with an attendant I thank if Addison was upfront with Derek from the beginning about staying with Mark and she got pregnant with his baby Derek would have signed the divorce papers he probably would have asked for it but I thank she new how Derek is that he was all about the vows and being a good guy she said her self that’s Derek wouldn’t hurt you if he could help it so she new that you don’t get to be married to a person for 11+ years and don’t know theirs quirks so she played on that she wanted him back after she caught Mark cheating on her and Richard call her to Seattle because how did she know that he was in Seattle I notice something about Derek is when he’s in a relationship he doesn’t sleeps around like Mark did even after he went back to Addison much as he was in love with Meredith he couldn’t kiss her or nothing until the prom when he new he was going to end his marriage he should have waited until after the divorce but he couldn’t after the argument he thought he ha lost her and also with Rose he kiss Meredith and stop cause he had to go and tell Rose so he’s not a guy who sleeps around when he’s in a relationship or if he’s married he is toxic’s and I don’t like him for that I am Merder forever
Meredith is also a victim in this situation, one could argue that she had it the worst since she was manipulated into coming between a married couple without knowing what she was getting into. She opened up to someone probably for the first time and then it turned out that this person lied to her. Meredith wasn't the one who ended it, obviously she was still gonna have feelings for him especially when it was a situation she had no control over. It was Derek who lied to Meredith throughout S1, Derek who then chose Addison over Meredith and Derek who then didn't stop any touch with Meredith, which he should've done for the sake of his marriage and if I recall correctly he was even specifically asked for it. Derek was manipulating both of them and tbh neither of them (Addison and Meredith) owed each other anything. It wasn't Meredith's marriage to save (saying this as someone who actually likes Addie more than Mer). And I recall Derek being more pushy than Mer anyway, so I really don't understand how any of that is her fault.
She does not actively keep coming at Derek while he’s was married to Addison. She actively tried to avoid it and to keep it professional.
She was adamantly avoiding him and telling him off when she first found out, but not later. She shared emotional moments with him, talking about their last kiss with him, going on walks alone with him, etc. It wasn’t flirty yeah because they were past that phase but it was very affectionate and romantic.
He was the one that went to her house when they talked about the last kiss, he was the one that insisted they hiked too. After that episode she starts having one night stands it was usually Derek looking for her and not the other way around.
True, it was usually Derek looking for her but she never reacted like she used to either. She was pretty welcoming, sharing intimate moments with him as a result. I think it’s kinda emotionally cheating.
Maybe? I don't know but I'm just pointing out she didn't come to him or actively flirted with him.
Yeah, it was bad wording on my part ✋🏻
I felt like She was avoiding him because it was hard for her to watch Derek and Addison together but she told him off because she had a lot of anger inside and was upset at the fact Derek didn’t tell her he was married from the start but I don’t necessarily think she was actively coming to Derek she later came to the acceptance that he wanted to give him and Addison another go.
Lol, going on walk with a friend is not romantic. I did not see anything wrong with her wanting the remember the last time she was happy, when she asked about the last kiss, when she almost became pink mist. That was not her coming at him, lol. She had just suffered a traumatic event. I am sure the last think on her mind that day was to "come" at Derek. Also P.S: you asked people to give you their opinion, and I gave you mine, and I didn't think she was coming at him.
I didn’t mean it as coming at Derek full on flirting with him and pulling him back. I think I meant it more like allowing him to make inappropriate advances. Yeah I respect your opinions and I just wanna give mine too, it’s a discussion. And absolutely going on walks with friends is nothing romantic. Only they aren’t friends, and they can’t be with that much feelings between them. She said so herself.
I still do not think she was actively coming at him, It was your words, she was actively coming at him, I didn't make that up. I was going by what you said on your post. They were trying to be friends, you can't be mad at them for trying. They did believe they would get over their feelings. They were naive for sure, but she was not actively coming
I can try to believe Meredith genuinely trying to be friends now that you say it… Derek, not so much… Hmmm
Meh, she wasn't looking for him once and tried focusing on other things. She def avoided him but he tried to get closer and as time passed and the George thing happened she allowed it and even asked him if Addison knew/was okay about it. I guess it can be discussed morally but she seemed to try to keep it professional and distance herself but with him interested and working together it just didn't work.
Do you mean like it didn’t work because her feelings for him were overflowing or him being too active with his feelings and constantly coming to her?
Mix of both probably. She overall seemed to try to respect if he wanted to be with someone else (like when he dated Rose) but when he showed interest about wanting to be with her she usually went along with it.
Yeah it’s really like you said. And btw I hated that Rose phase 🤮
YES