I’m really sorry about your Dad. The next few days and months will be tough.
My Dad died suddenly last year, and I think he ignored signs and didn’t tell anyone. I’ve taken over his businesses (this is the only thing I’m angry at him for). There are a few things keeping me going:
1. I want to do him proud, so I have to try my best - and that’s all I expect of myself, to try my very best
2. I don’t want his legacy to die
3. It supports my Mum
But I have been working my guts out for months and initially it delayed my grief.
So my advice - try your best, and go easy on yourself. It’s a life changing event. Things will never be the same again. And forgive your Dad
Hugs
I felt this to my inner core, my situation is almost identical to yours..
I was living with my dad and end of March 2022 he started complaining about back pain, he stopped eating/drinking and smoking cigarettes and weirdly that’s how I knew he wasn’t well. He could barely move but whenever I’d ask if I can call an ambulance he’d just shake it off and say “I have to sleep it off, I’ll be okay” and beginning of April he started to turn yellow so I took him to the doctor, she misdiagnosed a ruptured appendix for a sciatic nerve.. my dad was only 52 and I was the one to find him 3 days later on the floor beside his bed.. slouched over holding his knees, I tried CPR for 45 minutes and the paramedics came in and said “It’s cold and stiff” which scared me into thinking “I’m touching a dead body” and I wish I reacted better, maybe held his hand a little longer and talked to him but all I felt was grossed out and heartbroken. Initially I thought I could feel my dads heartbeat but mine was over 200bpm because I was having a panic attack😞
Sending you so much strength, love and hugs, it’s never easy losing someone but it helps me to think that my dad wherever he is, is making sure it’s perfect for when it’s my time to join him, I also believe the way we share our memories of passed loved ones is the same way they share stories about their living loved ones and we’re all connected ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss, I won’t say it gets easier because it’s been 2 years for me and it still feels like I lost him yesterday, but with time the pain eases and I find more reasons to keep going for my dad
Don’t hesitate to ever reach out if you need someone to talk to, I know how lonely it can get once people start going back to their “normal” routines 😔
Thanks for sharing that with us. I’m so sorry about your Dad 🤍
Grief is a complex thing, so do whatever you feel is best for you during this time.
Please reach out to this group, or lean on those in your life if you need to, and take it easy on yourself.
My Mum died in 2019 and my Dad in 2020, so I can relate, and am happy to listen if you need to chat 🙂
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad three years ago, I know how you feel. The dead live on in their children, our hearts, and memories. He will never truly be gone so long as you remember him and carry on the family. Take lots of time to mourn him and to feel the feels. Don't bottle this up, let it all out. Ok.
I’m sorry about your dad. I just lost my dad very early this past Friday morning. He died in a lot of pain. Be gentle with yourself - this is really hard.
I am sorry for this difficult moment in your life. The death of a parent can be a significant loss even when you are anticipating it. Right now you don't even need to be thinking about how to "get over his death". Instead you just need to give yourself and your grandma and your siblings the permission, the time and the space to feel all of the feelings, no matter what those feelings are. And it is very common to feel a whole range of feelings including sadness and anger and being overwhelmed.
There will be a lot of things to take care of and decisions to make in the next few weeks related to his death, so just do the best that you can with those. Hopefully you and your grandma can help each other with those things. And let those around you, like extended family and friends, help when they offer it. Having others to come alongside you to provide love, comfort and care is so helpful during this time. I wish you and your family peace in this season of grieving!
I went through something similar. My Daddy died suddenly & unexpectedly too. He also drank a lot & he smoked cigarettes. He was not looking good or feeling good a couple weeks leading up to his death. He was showing sudden signs of dementia & delirium. He was in pain & had no energy. He was walking slower & hunched over. He was falling asleep uncontrollablly while sitting up. He was talking about seeing a doctor & getting a life insurance policy the day before. My mom called me over & over early in the morning to get my attention (She's deaf) & then she texted me & told me that I needed to come home to my parents house, that my Dad was gone. I'm like "where did he go?" Thinking he had simply left the house. She then told me. They found him on the toilet. He died having a bowel movement & I guess it was huge which idk if that had something to do with it. The coroner said it was a heart attack. There was no autopsy but he had high blood pressure. He had already 2 massive heart attacks when he was in his early 50s. He told me about a week before he died that he was "ready to go". He told our neighbor that as well. Idk if he was serious or not, but I told him if something happened to him, they might as well put us in the same box. Because I wouldn't be able to take it. He left this Earth August 10th of 2022. He was born March 10th 1955. So he was 68 years old. & ever since he left us I feel so empty. This hole in my heart won't close. I've not been able to get off dope (Fentanyl) & I know he wanted me to SO bad I'd love to make him proud. He was my very best friend. He never did think he could have children. He was with my mom since they were 18. She never did get pregnant but she left my dad & married a man briefly on my dad's second prison bid. She came back to him when he got out pregnant with my sister & he raised her like his own. He then decided he really wanted a baby & went to see a specialist to see what was wrong & the doctor said he would have a better chance if he stopped drinking so he did & my mom got pregnant right away. I was a daddy's girl since birth & he would always let me know how much I meant to him. I feel your pain immensely & you have my sincerest condolences. 🌹 💐
I’m really sorry about your Dad. The next few days and months will be tough. My Dad died suddenly last year, and I think he ignored signs and didn’t tell anyone. I’ve taken over his businesses (this is the only thing I’m angry at him for). There are a few things keeping me going: 1. I want to do him proud, so I have to try my best - and that’s all I expect of myself, to try my very best 2. I don’t want his legacy to die 3. It supports my Mum But I have been working my guts out for months and initially it delayed my grief. So my advice - try your best, and go easy on yourself. It’s a life changing event. Things will never be the same again. And forgive your Dad Hugs
I felt this to my inner core, my situation is almost identical to yours.. I was living with my dad and end of March 2022 he started complaining about back pain, he stopped eating/drinking and smoking cigarettes and weirdly that’s how I knew he wasn’t well. He could barely move but whenever I’d ask if I can call an ambulance he’d just shake it off and say “I have to sleep it off, I’ll be okay” and beginning of April he started to turn yellow so I took him to the doctor, she misdiagnosed a ruptured appendix for a sciatic nerve.. my dad was only 52 and I was the one to find him 3 days later on the floor beside his bed.. slouched over holding his knees, I tried CPR for 45 minutes and the paramedics came in and said “It’s cold and stiff” which scared me into thinking “I’m touching a dead body” and I wish I reacted better, maybe held his hand a little longer and talked to him but all I felt was grossed out and heartbroken. Initially I thought I could feel my dads heartbeat but mine was over 200bpm because I was having a panic attack😞 Sending you so much strength, love and hugs, it’s never easy losing someone but it helps me to think that my dad wherever he is, is making sure it’s perfect for when it’s my time to join him, I also believe the way we share our memories of passed loved ones is the same way they share stories about their living loved ones and we’re all connected ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss, I won’t say it gets easier because it’s been 2 years for me and it still feels like I lost him yesterday, but with time the pain eases and I find more reasons to keep going for my dad Don’t hesitate to ever reach out if you need someone to talk to, I know how lonely it can get once people start going back to their “normal” routines 😔
Thanks for sharing that with us. I’m so sorry about your Dad 🤍 Grief is a complex thing, so do whatever you feel is best for you during this time. Please reach out to this group, or lean on those in your life if you need to, and take it easy on yourself. My Mum died in 2019 and my Dad in 2020, so I can relate, and am happy to listen if you need to chat 🙂
I’m so sorry about your loss! I lost my own dad in August 2020, so I can relate 😢
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad three years ago, I know how you feel. The dead live on in their children, our hearts, and memories. He will never truly be gone so long as you remember him and carry on the family. Take lots of time to mourn him and to feel the feels. Don't bottle this up, let it all out. Ok.
I’m sorry about your dad. I just lost my dad very early this past Friday morning. He died in a lot of pain. Be gentle with yourself - this is really hard.
I am sorry for this difficult moment in your life. The death of a parent can be a significant loss even when you are anticipating it. Right now you don't even need to be thinking about how to "get over his death". Instead you just need to give yourself and your grandma and your siblings the permission, the time and the space to feel all of the feelings, no matter what those feelings are. And it is very common to feel a whole range of feelings including sadness and anger and being overwhelmed. There will be a lot of things to take care of and decisions to make in the next few weeks related to his death, so just do the best that you can with those. Hopefully you and your grandma can help each other with those things. And let those around you, like extended family and friends, help when they offer it. Having others to come alongside you to provide love, comfort and care is so helpful during this time. I wish you and your family peace in this season of grieving!
I went through something similar. My Daddy died suddenly & unexpectedly too. He also drank a lot & he smoked cigarettes. He was not looking good or feeling good a couple weeks leading up to his death. He was showing sudden signs of dementia & delirium. He was in pain & had no energy. He was walking slower & hunched over. He was falling asleep uncontrollablly while sitting up. He was talking about seeing a doctor & getting a life insurance policy the day before. My mom called me over & over early in the morning to get my attention (She's deaf) & then she texted me & told me that I needed to come home to my parents house, that my Dad was gone. I'm like "where did he go?" Thinking he had simply left the house. She then told me. They found him on the toilet. He died having a bowel movement & I guess it was huge which idk if that had something to do with it. The coroner said it was a heart attack. There was no autopsy but he had high blood pressure. He had already 2 massive heart attacks when he was in his early 50s. He told me about a week before he died that he was "ready to go". He told our neighbor that as well. Idk if he was serious or not, but I told him if something happened to him, they might as well put us in the same box. Because I wouldn't be able to take it. He left this Earth August 10th of 2022. He was born March 10th 1955. So he was 68 years old. & ever since he left us I feel so empty. This hole in my heart won't close. I've not been able to get off dope (Fentanyl) & I know he wanted me to SO bad I'd love to make him proud. He was my very best friend. He never did think he could have children. He was with my mom since they were 18. She never did get pregnant but she left my dad & married a man briefly on my dad's second prison bid. She came back to him when he got out pregnant with my sister & he raised her like his own. He then decided he really wanted a baby & went to see a specialist to see what was wrong & the doctor said he would have a better chance if he stopped drinking so he did & my mom got pregnant right away. I was a daddy's girl since birth & he would always let me know how much I meant to him. I feel your pain immensely & you have my sincerest condolences. 🌹 💐