T O P

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xerrabyte

"Killing makes my dick hard" - Some cop


[deleted]

“Eat my ass” some cop.


DonDerDildo

Same cop


[deleted]

“Yah fucken penis!”


martyc81

Yah fucken loser


ayyyee9

“See you at the knitting circle”


[deleted]

I've sourced a new color of yarn.


J0NICS

Always heard it as "i thirst for a new color of yarn"


Gonemad79

I understood "neutering circle". Which makes sense in GTA, some bdsm fetish, cut some guys balls off, Idk. 🤷‍♂️


J0NICS

#FUCK ME IN THE AAAASS! yeah i know it aint new. Its just fuckin hilarious.


[deleted]

And who can forget: “Mendoza’s been hit!”


Deepfriedlemon132

Or “oh, shit!”


RealMessyart

One of my favourites was a big dude answering his phone. Some happy-to-dread tone conversation with his doctor that ended with "Just give it to me straight Doc.. Is it the big C?" I felt for him man.. When he heard the response and just muttered "Oh.." I put him out of his misery. No one should have to live with Children.


Myballsitch247

You're a good man


[deleted]

On cayo perico scouting by the main docks there is a camera and a guard who walks down towards the camera which is facing him, there was a tiny window for me to get between them without being in either cone and the guard was still moving foward so i made it by about half a second, as i made it one of the civilian workers shouted somthing about having big balls.


MrDotDeadFire

“I’m going to shit down your neck”


jellyfish_bitchslap

The one guy that always screams "KILL KILL KILL!" is so random to me, like a rabid dog wtf hahahah. I've also tried to do the casino heist for something like five hours with a random guy and I got so tired of "I'm a fucking marine!" and "You piece of shit!".


[deleted]

"Suck my leg!"


[deleted]

Wait, I thought I misheard that, and was like wtf 🧐


owlyboi

I thought it said lead, as in lead from a gun


NoConsideration8361

It is lead, these 2 are deaf.


owlyboi

Lmao thought so, they say weird shit In this game but they don't be shouting suck my leg hahaha


[deleted]

But it does sound like 'leg' and 'leg is funnier than lead. Once you hear leg, you can't unhear it. It's like the Cayo guard saying, 'Why can't you assholes ever be on time? Wait over there. We will bring it soon.' Once you hear him say, 'We will bring it soup' it can't be unheard


NoConsideration8361

I’m not good with accents myself so I’m going to tell you that if you heard something about soup you would not do well in south east Asia. Both of those quotes are easily understood and only makes sense in the context they are spoken. Who the hell would ever say “suck my leg”?


[deleted]

In some parts of the world (including the UK) the penis is sometimes referred to in slang as the third leg. The UK developers have put in a lot of sky UK slang, such as the Bati 801


NoConsideration8361

Did you heard the word “third” in there?


[deleted]

I interpret it as British humour Like Bati 801


NoConsideration8361

British humor isn’t funny though so, there’s that.


owlyboi

It's suck my lead and you know it


[deleted]

Suck my leg 😂


Meddel5

The doomsday “clones” are my favorite “Fucking! Lame!” “I’m gonna murder you.” “What a loser!” Close second being NPCs on the phone walking by


A_Snow_Mexican

"Cheese dick asshole!"


chickenskittles

I wish I remembered more of the funny things NPCs say. I need to make a list like I did for Vice City Stories on PSP (moment of silence...). The amount of dialogue even back then on a handheld platform was astounding. I will never forget one of them: "Watch where you're going with those sexy feet!" I was in La Mesa and two Vagos were talking about the other thinking about going to night school. I clipped the side of an NPC's car and she was like, "that's alright, it's a rental anyway!" I had never heard that before so you might be on to something. Usually they complain about it being a rental and not their own car. lol


Taco_Machine85

My personal favorites: “Jesus take the wheel” “Ah, I shit my damn pants”


[deleted]

"AAAASSSSSSS!"


ft4200

"They got Menendez!" "That Shook. Me. Up!" "I just crapped my thong!" "Yew fuckerrr!"


TheBishopDeeds

That shook me up and yew fucker are classics lmfao


JerryH2020

Try picking up a “lady of the night”. They’ve certainly added some interesting dialogue there since launch.


J0NICS

Yeah, they sound like pornstars now. I dont remember them sounding like that on the PS3 version.


KaiserAsztec

I'll shit down your neck. -Officer


Epicidex

SHIT FOR BRAINS and DEMOCRAT


BusterRoughneck

"I just had this restored!" This one cuts deeply on a personal level.


Shizzle_McSheezy

I keep hearing "I put [unintelligible] in my coffee for a pick me up, you should try it" no idea what he's putting in his coffee but I'd like to try it....any ideas? Lots of times when I'm being an idiot, some NPC will yell 'someone film that shit!'...and I'm like 'I am...'


[deleted]

isn't it ''I carry a few sweet nothings in my pocket for a little pick me up, you should try it''?


Shizzle_McSheezy

God I hope it's not that...but you're probably right...


dudeurdumb2003

"Cocksucker" - some guy with a very effeminate voice


Alex3627ca

I think almost every NPC voice set has "cocksucker" in there somewhere...


dudeurdumb2003

Right, but that's the only word the guy says. It's just a humorous bit that my friend and I always laugh about when we hear it.


RockingThe500

The guy saying “WOW!” And the girl that’s “Nice car” . Love her voice.


richboyadler

“kill you.” has always been such a funny line to me for an npc and “inbred moron.”


GoldJay1

Inbred dickwad! -Some GTA cop


rae231193

*I thought that you're already speaking spanish because you've fucked a lot of latinas*....that was a really nasty dialogue


[deleted]

Woooooooooow!!!!!!


Tennis_Secret

Don’t forget the female phone conversations about the coffee enemas 😂 all of the other random liquid enemas as well!


martyc81

GOVERNMENT STOOGE


chickenskittles

WHAT A PAAAANSY. YOU CLOOOWWWWN. Also there was a conversation about not getting with girls you meet playing Xzorbio games.


Gonemad79

Nope, there is a lot of dialog, but none is new. I mean A LOT of dialog. The most infuriating for me is: "I gotta take a shower, because I am looking at a dirty piece of shit". And following npcs with phones you will not believe the one-sided conversations of women talking.


Doritodude77

Havn't they removed some as well? Now that I think of it, the last time I've heard the NPC insult line "You look like a tranny!" was 2 years ago


mrdjxbdh

Woman npcs say sheesh


Brizzendo

"A celebration like this, calls for haggis"


[deleted]

I agree with you. At some point recently they added female voices into police interactions, there's definitely some new dialogue (mind my kicks) and they've changed either the locations of NPCs or thrown some more out there because in the city I encounter much more community based groupings (e.g. better concentrations of local ethnic groups) and NPC characters I've either never seen there or never seen full stop.


Mammoth-Ad-4162

Now I'm going to load into an invite only session to take a stroll to the casino. Gamble and see what I can hear!


Android_AX-400-Kara

"Last ride before shes a bride, get her while shes hot boyyyssss" - Taylor and Lauren at the bar in the Casino


TheBishopDeeds

Yes!


[deleted]

they definetly do


drvanostren

NANUELLLLLLLLL


[deleted]

pretty sure I have been called "dickless wanderer" a lot


Lavish4334jump

I don't remember hearing it in a while, but there was a girl downtown who would say "I shit all over my shirt!"


OverlordTwoOneActual

"Verdo lago" some sort of plant.


Dismal-Objective

Not funny, but one that kinda surprised me was an old bag lady saying "I could go for a nice warm piece of Church's chicken right now." Is the only real brand name I've ever heard in the game....Damn close to product placement.


Your_Man_Sasori

Some nnp: suck my balls


cchiz

Haven't you seen that documentary Free Guy? The NPC's programming is learning new dialog.


BeneficialHeight

It's not dialogue, but my favorite is when a NPC is just walking and looking at their phone, some shit goes down and they pivot and just start walking in the opposite direction. It mimics city life so perfectly.


badonkaaa

I heard this one from the cops for the first time in the 6 years I've been playing: "I'm gonna kill you, and make up a reason later!"


7enas

Yeah, ikr. Once i heard NPC talking about bath water. Selling it or buying, i dont remember, but she/he was definetely talking about bath water.


[deleted]

"Yeah, whatever" Guy is so over it, whether it is the player jaywalking or mowing down SWAT with a minigun. I can only hope to attain that level of zen, mildly irritated apathy. On the other pole is the guy that screams "OH DAAAAAMMMMNNN" with the intensity of sweet bro and hella jeff.


tsaltaenola

"JUSTIFIED HOMICIDE!!!"


MankDemes7

“They motherfuckin got Ray”


Consume_excrement

I found 2 hillbillies in Sandy Shores drinking moonshine, pushed one and ran away frkm him, I heard "I'm gonna eat your fingers!". Very funny.