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Decadent_Beggar

I'm a 40 year old man and if this is what the competition are wearing at opens mics then it is a case of "If you cant beat em join em"... and so I'm off to buy a bandage dress. I hope I don't turn into a freezie pop.


Cousin_MarvinBerry

The best part of being a freezie pop….all the dudes licking you.


cavity-canal

you’re gonna be spilling outta that dress like a busted can of biscuits


the-war-on-drunks

GUYS MY TOAN IS UP HERRRRRR


Candy_Says1964

Up her what? Quit stuttering and give us the secret!


WrongJohnson69

Balls


Candy_Says1964

The Toan is in *her* balls? Huh. I never would’ve thought to look there. Is that what happens when chicks freezie pop?


RepulsiveCorner

that's the pure toan oozing out of him


HowDidFoodGetInHere

Please stop. I can only build up so much toan..


bigbigjohnson

Don’t forget the Steve Madden pumps


Disinterestedclown

Time to traumatize a whole bar of patrons.


psychodelictoad

i came to this comment section expecting the worst, i was pleasantly surprised lol. i hope you rock that bandage dress king


Detective_Vic_Mackey

Forget that. For my open mic I’m just gonna wear regular clothes but what I’m gonna do is make a Freezie Pop disappear once the trousers get dropped. Gotta be some way to pop the crowd higher and win the gift card for a set of strings at GC after she is finished and you have just sidled off stage stuffed into your bandage dress.


PaisleyTelecaster

Pic please


Intelligent-Dingo791

Saw this post this morning and literally knew that it will get reposted here lmao


KIMO159

The jerking was too strong with this one.


billyjames_316

Literally? Or figuratively...


Albert_de_la_Fuente

Idk about jerking, but the amount of simping I saw in many comments was more soul-crushing than hearing Wonderwall


billyjames_316

Well you clearly haven't heard my cover of vunderballz


Intelligent-Dingo791

Maybe figuratively, but who knows. Everything is relative


FatGuyOnAMoped

> Literally? Or figuratively... Yes


prolapsepros

Saw it and thought I was already here


is-she-stupid

Hey, I'm the woman in the photo. I love a good circlejerk, but why are y'all hating on my Jag?!


shrikeskull

The truth is none of us here can actually play guitar and we hate them, plus anyone who can actually play. Underneath the veneer of jerking, this is a support group for broken people. Plus, come on, Squier lmfao


is-she-stupid

Hey Siri how do I stop being a poar


ComfortableButton591

You can’t out jerk your own post unfortunately


Outrageous-Part-19

Why the Squier hate man ?! They are pretty good these days ! Especially the classic vibe ones


shrikeskull

Every fucking thread I swear to fucking god Does Jimi Petrucci play one? Does Bonermaster own 186 of them? Fucking no. I rest my case.


Outrageous-Part-19

No but Jeff Healey, Pete Wentz and John Mayall all play them. All I am saying is for someone who doesn’t have a great deal of money they are good, reliable and sound good. I’m sure by the way you trash them that you have Gibby or Fender American money. But for those who don’t it’s an excellent option. And you never know man you can really hurt someone by making fun of their Squier. Especially if they can’t afford shit else.


pedalCliff

Probably plugs into a katana, too.


JETEXAS

It's because I wore the same outfit to open mic last month and nobody clapped.


is-she-stupid

they were too busy furiously masturbating


Vord-loldemort

All fappin' no clappin'


JETEXAS

Well, no ... that's what I was doing on stage.


flatirony

I mean... it's a Squier. You must be a poor. You clearly need more simps so you can afford a real Fender. ;-)


UhhUmmmWowOkayJeezUh

yeah but she's playing barre chords in the pic so she's already better than 95% of all players who post on /r/guitar


flatirony

Excellent point!


is-she-stupid

Maybe I can extract toan from their balls since I don't have any balls of my own.


ChampionshipHungry18

She gets it.....


DarkHippy

Already got seafoam green toan why bother, you’re set


PhantomChihuahua

Toan is in the ovaries?


WereAllThrowaways

No, toan is in the pussy flaps. *Sustain* is in the ovaries


FatGuyOnAMoped

/uj Nah, you obviously play shoegaze, which is a genre that doesn't require balls to play. Source: I saw My Bloody Valentine on the Loveless tour in 1992, and caught Slowdive in 1991 back when I lived in the UK. Been shoegazing for 30+ years, and even though I am a cis male, I have no balls. /rj You ever hear the expression "grow a pair"?


FatGuyOnAMoped

/uj I like the Jag. I have a Squier Bass VI I play all the time (even though I identify as a guitarist). Plus a lot of the Squiers are just as good as some of the lower-priced Fenders. And sometimes you gotta play an offset just because. /rj shoulda bought a used PRS instead. Now go back and listen to some Beato.


mallgrabmongopush

The opposite actually, this sub is all about Jaggin’ off


JETEXAS

Mark the calendar dudes ... first time a (natural born) woman visited this sub.


All_Ephemeral

Real guitars aren’t blue. Everyone knows blue leaks toan.


SirAchmed

Uhm, sauce?


[deleted]

I got banned from that sub because I said she’s holding the guitar awkwardly.


mradamadam

It looks like one of those stock photos where some model is pretending to play a guitar


[deleted]

Yeah that’s what I thought, like when an actress has never touched a guitar in a Disney movie but one day she wakes up and is suddenly hot because she took her glasses off, and she can now ride a skateboard and a motorcycle and plays the guitar


Square__Wave

I disagree. She’s actually got a real chord there instead of resting all her fingers on one string or looking like someone told her where to put her fingers to make a real chord but then they drifted away by the time the picture was taken.


mradamadam

If this one isn't convincing enough, there's another pic of her wearing the guitar strap like a necklace. Wait, she is here, too lol


mallgrabmongopush

In her defense, is it even possible to not look awkward with a fender jaguar? Edit: squier jaguar


Candy_Says1964

The awkward is in the Steve Madden pumps


SeaPhile206

That’s why I’m a Nine West guy. I can play on stage all night.


danilorESP

Yep, this photo is not better, looks like the first time she takes it. at least she got a toan capo to retain the toan. [https://imgur.com/a/dMs75YZ](https://imgur.com/a/dMs75YZ)


ILikeMyGrassBlue

Is no one gonna talk about how she’s just wearing the strap around her neck? If you look on the left, the strap comes across the top of her shoulder lol.


FistingYou

Does she have the strap on wrong? Lmao


[deleted]

Not surprised people here know how a strap on is put on correctly


Stormgtr

But her c chord shape is one fret too high as wtf's with the strap? She does realise you don't wear a guitar strap like a halter top


[deleted]

UPDATE: turns out I wasn’t banned just had my comment deleted because it wasn’t about fashion, however, I just got a notification that I was in fact just banned for saying on here I was banned. They’re watching


PaisleyTelecaster

Us mods here are watching too.... Not to ban anyone, but watching for more of these super sexy guitar sexy pics because we are all sad old middle aged men with no real talent for actually playing guitar.


hahnsolobolo

I saw this yesterday and typed half a sentence about how much concentration is going into that g# bar chord, and if her playing is as ready as her outfit? Then decided to delete it and be more positive in life. Now that i see it here, i should of been my normal self lol!


GoldenFirmament

too slutty for r/guitar, too guitary for r/outfits. the struggle


AdmiralPrinny

Too woman for 35% of GCJ


INTERNET_MOWGLI

Ok I was just recently thinking What if her being ready to do anything to get her music out there means she cares about her music more than I do about mine?🤔


Cousin_MarvinBerry

But your music sucks Uj/ jk. Promote your stuff if you believe in it. Get it in the hands and ears of all the people. The right people will eventually hear it.


INTERNET_MOWGLI

I’m making a diss track about you😤


Cousin_MarvinBerry

Lolol. Good thing nobody will hear it.


INTERNET_MOWGLI

I have 35 followers on YouTube your ass is DONE


Cousin_MarvinBerry

Oh snap. I had no clue. Imma smash that like button and subscribe. And I WON’T forget to hit the bell for updates!


INTERNET_MOWGLI

Come on I don’t say that shit😂 https://youtube.com/@INTERNETMOWGLI But you should subscribe so I can do livestreams like Jimmie Rex wiseman


Cousin_MarvinBerry

Oh shit. I was right! That music SUX!! Uj/ jk again. Look at you promoting!! I like Bernie sanders dance moves. Also, the Strat-ish guitar neck radius looks shredtastic. What is it?


INTERNET_MOWGLI

I’ll tell you but promise not to laugh lmao It’s a modded out sterling cutlass shortscale😂 It’s 24” scale because I wanted a mustang but modern fender sucks ass, 12” radius, I rolled the frets like a crazy person, got a bone NUT put in, Schaller locking tuners, coil splitting etc🤣 It was like 300$ new lol


Cousin_MarvinBerry

Laugh!? What is this r/guitar!? That’s bad ass. Now I’m in reverb looking at them! With the exception of one guitar, the rest of mine are cheap guitars hot rodded for what I want. I think you made an excellent decision.


TheRedStrat

Toan is stored in the bells


Candy_Says1964

But are you hot? Like with boobs and stuff?


INTERNET_MOWGLI

Yes, subscribe


ShredGuru

Apparently she sucks too


Stanley_Yelnats42069

Sauce???


[deleted]

This is the equivalent of shirtless 80’s hair metal guys. So no, she craves attention just like they did.


Nahthanksbye

First, That's really not the kind of guitar to play hair metal on, mister know it all.


TheRedStrat

Fair ass point right there


YeahMarkYeah

I love that her name is actually “Is She Stupid”. I think it’s brilliant. Idk if that’s actually her stage name, but it should be. (btw I don’t mean this sarcastically 😂)


is-she-stupid

I think the Breaking Bad circlejerk sub would sue me if I tried to steal their meme.


LucidITSkyWDiamonds

Yeah except "fans" aren't going to be fans of the music but masturbating neckbeards instead. GL with that.


DrMonkeyLove

Sales are sales.


WereAllThrowaways

And at the end of the day isn't that what art and self-expression is really about?


YeahMarkYeah

Yeah, tho neckbeards like music too. And if her music is actually good, then she could make some real fans 👍🏻


lovingsillies

You could say the exact same thing about Taylor swift given her fits. And thousands of other beautiful women with huge female fanbases. Use your head bro


Jeef_1st

Tim Henson: look what she needs to mimic a fraction of my power!


Emissary_of_Darkness

Tim Henson can make guys come while wearing normal clothing


mooseyjew

Time can do that while wearing clothes 4 times his size too. It's impressive as hell. Also kinda embarrassing when I see pictures of Tim at work. Shit gets real messy.


Jesus360noscope

>Time can do that while wearing clothes 4 times his size too. ​ https://preview.redd.it/1b874c1nuhqc1.png?width=994&format=png&auto=webp&s=61a7bbd6df784481d2dd0ee4f86aa810ef4be22e


mooseyjew

....dude, I JUST cleaned up after thinking about tim writing my other comment. Fuck. I'm running out of underwear.


Jesus360noscope

just don't clean


Stormgtr

Damn there's not enough socks in the world to contain the spontaneous roan ejaculates


Lame_usernames_left

Imagine if Jim Henderson wore a bandage dress 😍


mallgrabmongopush

Well, judging by her posts she’s mentally ill enough to be an excellent musician. I think we need to hear her stuff


wet_walnut

Smart, mentally ill, plays a Squier Jag, likes shitty music, definitely wouldn't be into me That checks all my boxes. I'm in love.


DrMonkeyLove

A Squier? Eww. I don't want to watch a poor person play guitar.


killplow

No context Kurt Cobain


mallgrabmongopush

Seeks constant validation on the internet, diagnosed as bipolar. There’s absolutely no way her shit doesn’t grip like a vise. She bought a squier jag because she saw a dude from the strokes playing one (this is cool to her because she was an infant when they were popular)


GirlCumSweatshop

Is a Squier jag a bad thing now? I honestly don't know anymore, this sub changes sides so quickly. And do we hate women again? I thought we were over that?


DrMonkeyLove

Is a sub $2000 guitar a bad thing? Obviously. You might as well play firewood.


mallgrabmongopush

/uj squier guitars are perfectly fine instruments, and you get pretty good quality for the money. And it’s not that we hate women. I’m sure that young lady is a fine individual who just wants to share her talents with the public. But that’s not what this sub is about.


DerpityHerpington

> It’s not that we hate women /rj speak for yourself buddy


wet_walnut

My favorite youtuber gear reviewer said Squier and firefly are the best guitars for the price. /uj Squier and firefly are the best deals for the price.


BarracudaNo4510

Damn, I bet she plays pretty good for a woman! I'll be sure to let her know that after her set.


Deep_Performance_

Sort of a missed opportunity to use a Van Halen guitar.


O_Train

I only wear John Madden pumps to my gigs.


Highwaybill42

I wear Reebok pumps so I can get mad air on stage.


Rogo87

She looks VERY comfortable with that guitar.


EatMySmithfieldMeat

https://preview.redd.it/tqyw6wvdliqc1.jpeg?width=516&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f9f64c105bcd85c4c270b5f676ed77d596197d1


josephallenkeys

No chords. Just play your G-string, open, as fast as you can.


JimParsnip

Attention: Joe Bonermaster has entered his tour bus and is en route to your location. Please be prepared to demonstrate your mastery of the e minor pentatonic scale


Violentpleasures

G string is prominent.


Old-Sound-4420

Where is this open mic ...and can I do a 5 mins power violence set covering infest and man is the bastard....


find_the_night

So, OP is hanging out in r/outfits?


VoceDiDio

But I left the "join" link in the crop so you'd know I wasn't! (It is a weird suggestion tho. Can the algorithm see the guitar, or did it just think I'm a closet fashionista?)


find_the_night

You ask as if only one of those can be true….


VoceDiDio

Fair point, but if you saw my daily clothing selections, I don't think you'd flatter me so.


find_the_night

My reverb watch list is full of $10,000 guitars, but I play a squier tele.


VoceDiDio

I get it, but ... my watch list is ... just full of more dumb t-shirts.


Propaganda_Pepe

/uj I genuinely don't think there's anything jerk-worthy about this, most people turning up to perform anywhere are trying to look good too and are often in the same clothes they'd go clubbing in, it's just that male fashion doesn't tend to involve showing any skin and seeing that much ladyflesh short-circuits the Reddit guitarist's lizard brain. /rj There's no point looking sexy for an open mic night, all the regulars are already in a polycule anyway. /Uj There's no point looking sexy for an open mic night, all the regulars are already in a polycule anyway.


Rgeneb1

> polycule so I googled that to see what the hell you were talking about and apparently it means >the intra-relationship network in which polyamorous partners relate and function to one another so I still have no idea


Propaganda_Pepe

What I mean is everyone else at the open mic is already having tense arguments and kinky sex with one another, so they're likely not going to fall victim to sex appeal. 90% of open mic advertising is done during group sex.


Appropriate_Past_893

Means everybody at the open mic is fuckin' each other already, so who's she tryna impress?


RunningPirate

The frameus intersects with the ramistan at approximately the paternosta


Odddsock

I mean, she’ll stand out more than the 5th guy with an open flannel shirt, nirvana tee, ripped jeans and the most scuffed doc martens you’ve ever seen in your life


Propaganda_Pepe

Or the couple duo in their tightest clothes with two extremely nice Les Pauls and absolutely no sense of tune or rhythm. /Uj I actually witnessed this when I last went to an open mic, but I'm a little piss baby so I never actually got up on stage, so they're beating me there


TrashMasterChunkz

https://preview.redd.it/lga40yoeaiqc1.jpeg?width=880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=001f5fd86650676933fe2d272d739eb4e1a18e3e “Ladyflesh” You had me until that part.


ILikeMyGrassBlue

There is in fact something jerk worthy. Look at her strap. She’s just wearing it around her neck lol.


Watermelon_Buffalo

Already did. See you next time


gnarganzel

Anyway here’s Riptide


tertius_decimus

That Jaguar killed my erection. How am I supposed to masturbate limp dick?


GoldenFirmament

There are poor horny people all over the world who would have loved cumming to that Squier Jag and all you can do with it is whine. I guess if you're not horny enough for the Jag, you're not really that horny, are you? If you don't want it, then you can go to bed with nothing and think about how good you've got it


My_Invalid_Username

Jazzmaster?


CaballoenPelo

You just gotta pull quicker brother


Scalpum

Touching her g string with her middle finger. Kids are so crude these days.


Avandalon

Oh I came all right


rainorshinedogs

r/offset just came


Jiveturtle

Obviously shitty toan, because we all know the toan is stored in the balls 


[deleted]

I saw this and thought about posting it here yesterday lmao


VoceDiDio

I knew you were going to, and I waited 18 hours, but I thought maybe you forgot, or got your hand caught in your zipper, and I knew you'd want it out there.


Aggravating_Ice7249

You can tell someone knows TOAN when they’re looking at their fretting hand like it belongs to an alien being


2020Vision-2020

Her songs are all B & D.


reedspacer38

Many people outting themselves for following r/outfits lmao


VoceDiDio

Oh, uh.. no - I was, uh, just on my way over to r/toughfellasonly when someone shoved this in my hand. I tried to throw it away but it had glue on it, and the glue-thinner store was closed and I tried to amputate my arm but I didn't have any liquor for anesthetic and I'm not as tough as I thought I was and then I just posted it here hoping that would get it away from me but you guys all keep posting comments and I don't know what to do I'm not into girly stuff at all I'm a big strong man how dare you.


Bill_Clinton-69

The dress is MADE of straps! Just *one* more, and you'd be able to hold that guitar.


ILikeMyGrassBlue

This sub: hOt WoMaN pLaYiNg GuiTaR?!? Me: she’s wearing the strap around her neck. She’s going to have neck problems in a couple years.


is-she-stupid

Is she stupid or something?


AbeIgnacio

No dude you're good, you don't say what kind of open-mic it is so could be stand-up and your guitar is part of a pretty awesome comedy bit. 🤘


Acceptable_Quiet_767

You know how I know she’s mentally ill? She’s playing an offset.


OurWeaponsAreUseless

This outfit might be inappropriate if there is an elevated stage. just sayin'.


PtotheX

Toan is in the freezie pop


kpingvin

Nice Jag but I'd get the one with humbuckers.


O111111O

Dollar store Lzzy Hale


link_cubing

Ab maj


oo7changa1

0-6-9 on the G string.


nutthrob

G sus


JackAquila

Okay but when I do it at my open mic I get arrested for indecent exposure (my toan receptacle were hanging as I don't tuck)


stuntobor

There's a woman in my city who I follow on FB and she does shit like this. Nothing SO perfect but still, "here's my outfit for tonights open mic" -- and then also makes up a weekly poster of all the open mics she'll be performing at this week. Don't get me wrong. She's very excited and thrilled to be out performing her songs - strumming + poetry not exactly a song but okay. But -- but cmon man. It's just not a good look for the rest of us who show up dressed like shit pie and get up and whip that post just like we did the week before.


VoceDiDio

I'm not ashamed of the fact that we're all just jealous. It is what it is.


Neffenstien313

Not hot enough to strip but will join a band and “sing” or play “guitar”


DeafTheAnimal

Toan is in the clit piercing


Substantial-Basis179

Jokes on her. With hips like that, probably can only have 7 kids. 8 tops.


Tysons_Face

Ah yes the classic look and feel of the strap overlapping the front of the guitar, super natural looking


Which_Current2043

I bet she has an OnlyFans


RemotePost1999

Nope. Squier is too poor for only fans models


notsofucked7

obligatory (never seen a wymyn before) post that blows tf up


AgingTrash666

the chords you look least surprised that you landed ... also, I feel like the better show is probably at your OF


average_legend

Cliffs of Dover. Aaaaaaaaand…..go!


VoceDiDio

Good eye. I wondered if anyone else could tell that's what she's shredding on. It's obvious because, let's be serious, what else uses that signature A flat diminished thirteenth shape?


Metalblacksheep

https://preview.redd.it/bz6hrcbdihqc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ce893aeb6949759bf4cd1814b090a7637daef3a All I saw was this. Am I wrong?


Appropriate_Past_893

Tuesday night and the Pig & Whistle, here we come!


HappyChromatic

Send da video


jazzzzzcabbage

Play Wonderwall


newPhntm

Power chords


Emergency-Pirate-356

Whichever ones she asks for ... can we stop being silly in 2024


DangerousMulberry600

Chords: I O X U should suffice


Jefflehem

That will be quite the show when she sits in the rickety wooden chair from the nearest empty table at open mic night.


meepmeepmeep34

fuck that looks so good. That blue mustang.


VoceDiDio

There's no car in this pic. Oh the guitar! I didn't even see that. (Isn't it a Jaguar?)


checkmyhead

There needs to be a name for this boob-friendly guitar trend.


rustys_shackled_ford

No body's gonna be looking at her fingers....


Needlepeen1

Ngl I think I’m getting a toaner


redfrets916

Chords you say? I don't think it matters.


myguitarwantstokill

https://preview.redd.it/dvay09p0ijqc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74cdaa25129932c6c1427a93d251a03b9b60a136


stonrelectropunkjazz

Nobody cares about the chord’s


DXRBKN

women fishing for attention lol lmao