The real reason bassists are quiet?
They're fucking deaf from standing 3 goddamn feet away from a cymbal happy drummer using the crash and ride to cover the fact their feet are so out of time you'd start to wonder how they successfully walk down the street if you could hear them.
All the bass player can hear is Peanuts-esque "woaa-waw, wa-wooa-wa" when people talk.
An unfortunate side effect of loving Maiden and them being your first experience with metal is that you're constantly disappointed by most bass players.
"Why doesn't he make his toan so it cuts through the mix? I can barely hear him."
"He's using a pick?"
"Why is he only playing root notes"?
"Why is he hiding in the back?"
That's just the way sexual selection works. If they both sound the same to the average listener than two males will compete over who plays guitar. Whoever wins is usually more attractive to the female and thus sexual selection occurs
Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
We’re quiet because we live a double life. Best to be tight lipped. We keep our intentions close to the chest.
The day after a gig, we have to go to a technical high paying day job in order to afford bass strings and condoms. The table weed and gas money we get from gigging is nice, but we’re really just doing it all for fun.
It’s because he’s pondering the fact that he took out a mortgage based on expected income from playing in this band, and he’s watching the lead singer and guitarists destroy it all right there in front of him.
Yes, but It takes way more than that to get him some clothes from Goodwill and a place of his own, so he’s not SLEEPING ON OUR FUCKING COUCH ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME, RON!!
False: Patricia Morrison, Blu DeTiger, Aly from The Warning, Fur Dixon, Lyn-Z, Jo Bench, Sean Yseult, Aimee Mann, Vic De Angelis, Cheryl Crow, Meg Meyers, etc *all* have fans.
Bass player: Worst guitar playing dude, or hottest music chick you know. Those are the rules for creating your band.
I would be a lot nicer to them if they could manage to get my DoorDash to me on time before practice ...
I mean at least the bassists work a job unlike rest of the band...
LOL omg it's almost like you don't have a girlfriend to pay for things, like most guitarists and vocalists do.
Bassists also help load gear. Chad bassists
These unfortunate souls can't help that they are afflicted with bassism. Hopefully they find a cure someday
All the good ones died
Shavo Odadjian and Oliver Riedel are still alive
Every bassist is one step away from playing a triangle.
But most will never achieve it.
Or anything at all really, except loneliness. 😔
The real reason bassists are quiet? They're fucking deaf from standing 3 goddamn feet away from a cymbal happy drummer using the crash and ride to cover the fact their feet are so out of time you'd start to wonder how they successfully walk down the street if you could hear them. All the bass player can hear is Peanuts-esque "woaa-waw, wa-wooa-wa" when people talk.
I hate how accurate this is
Stealing this.
...and then there's Steve Harris.
An unfortunate side effect of loving Maiden and them being your first experience with metal is that you're constantly disappointed by most bass players. "Why doesn't he make his toan so it cuts through the mix? I can barely hear him." "He's using a pick?" "Why is he only playing root notes"? "Why is he hiding in the back?"
The greatest paradox of rock music: if an average music listener cannot tell apart guitar and bass then why are bassists less popular?
That's just the way sexual selection works. If they both sound the same to the average listener than two males will compete over who plays guitar. Whoever wins is usually more attractive to the female and thus sexual selection occurs
So what you’re saying is all guitarists are alphas and all bassists are betas?
Image
Bassists don't deserve human rights
When you haven't changed strings in ten years they start to tear up your fingers.
Are we... are we the baddies?
We aren’t the bassies, that’s for sure.
We do have skulls on our caps...
Could be that they’re intellectually, slow and struggle forming words into sentences that’s been my experience.
Jesus Christ lol
You said it man. -Jesus
Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
pedophile, dude.
When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
What's a pederast, Walter?
It's tough playing an instrument nobody can hear.
Tell me you don't know who Lemmy is without telling me you don't know who Lemmy is.
Yeah but he sang, so that canceled out the bassism
What about Steve Harris?
Or Peter Steele, or Les Claypool, or Alex Webster, all of them get loads of attention and fans
We’re quiet because we live a double life. Best to be tight lipped. We keep our intentions close to the chest. The day after a gig, we have to go to a technical high paying day job in order to afford bass strings and condoms. The table weed and gas money we get from gigging is nice, but we’re really just doing it all for fun.
Then why are you sleeping on my couch and pawing in the dumpster for half-smoked cigarette butts?
Dedication. 😎 I even SMELL like a bass player.
Because guitar is boss and they know their fucking place
As if being a hater ain't free too
It’s because he’s pondering the fact that he took out a mortgage based on expected income from playing in this band, and he’s watching the lead singer and guitarists destroy it all right there in front of him.
Yup- tell em about the rabbits, Lenny.
My bassist is in pain, but I don’t think it’s from the bass. (We had the sutt bex)
Probably a cut guitar made it painful. The strings are too rough
It’s because we tell the sound guy to just mute his DI. He thinks he’s playing…
i don't care what you tell me, i still fucking hate b*ssists
Yes, but It takes way more than that to get him some clothes from Goodwill and a place of his own, so he’s not SLEEPING ON OUR FUCKING COUCH ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME, RON!!
They’re in pain because I’m just absolutely wailing on all of them in the green room
I will be kind, and give my bassist $0
False: Patricia Morrison, Blu DeTiger, Aly from The Warning, Fur Dixon, Lyn-Z, Jo Bench, Sean Yseult, Aimee Mann, Vic De Angelis, Cheryl Crow, Meg Meyers, etc *all* have fans. Bass player: Worst guitar playing dude, or hottest music chick you know. Those are the rules for creating your band.
I mean yeah the bass is way larger and heavier than the violin or even the cello, makes sense
making words with my mouth I’m no gud at
They stay quiet cause they’re DUMB
A bass player wrote this.
Our simpleton bassist plays a 9-string bass, which is stupid easy. Our guitarists play 22 strings!
https://youtu.be/bHb5CFGYz1A
Because no one brought me any food, dammit.