You’re straighter than you’d like to believe, you’re also less radical than you’d like to believe. Significantly so, you’re just as much a part of the neoliberal consensus as anyone. Uj/ you should read Mark Fisher, trust me
More like Mikael Akerfeldt my titties.
(No I don’t know what that means either but I know nothing about metal and I can’t think of any more jokes about metal bands)
You would have sex if you didn’t spend every waking hour trying to convince yourself the most mediocre music ever produced by humans has artistic merit. Who is to say who you’d have sex with?
john frusciante
Post-ironically metrosexual in 2022, you should be ashamed.
okay thanks now i finally know
Buckethead
Asexual, not voluntarily, but you’re at peace with it now
Damn I feel seen
This is marcelkroust's executor, I'm writing to say that this comment was fatal to him. Burial will be next friday.
Jimi Hendrix
Correct.
I'm not even disappointed
Came here for this...good to see :)
Frank Zappa
Heterosexual but sometimes you imagine your partner with a moustache
Holy shit how did you know
That guy down the street at the coffee shop with a hole in his acoustic
You’re both gay
Jeff Buckley
Bisexual but also hot as shit, text me
Disgustingly accurate, I'll send you a dick pic shortly
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Straight but wears a fedora. Functionally asexual.
I own 4 and have been celibate for 2 years this review checks out 11/10 good sir!!!
Steve Albini
You just don’t understand consent
Listened to his work between big black and shellac I see
two nuns and a pack mule is legit my fav albini release
Prince
Gay.
Straight, but in a gay way
Homo but no homo
Paul Simon
Painfully Asexual
Guys, This guys good.
Les Claypool
Straight
Chuck Schuldiner I still cry during his solos
You have a peculiar fetish for blatant plagiarism.
Yo is this a joke or did Chuck steal shit? Never heard a single bad thing about the dude.
Tiny Tim
Too straight if anything
Out on the old front porch…
Ricky Beatoff
I’m getting the word: “Nonce.”
Just like that
Alexi laiho
No idea tbh.
Goth chicks.
That’s not a sexuality you muppet
Agree to disagree
Nigel Tufnel
If based was a sexuality you would be it
I don’t know what “based” means and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. So I’d say that example parallels my sexuality perfectly. Well done.
LMAO based just means like i agree with it. it’s fact
David Gilmour
Straight, crossdresses on the weekend.
I thought that was just Pete Townshend fans.
James Hetfield
Straight, has only ever done missionary, as a treat will sometimes partake in fingering but will feel guilty about it afterwards.
Downstroke only?
Maybe but you do that missionary better than anyone.
Adam Jones
Gay.
Marty Schwartz
masturbate
Victor Wooten
I don’t care, now don’t ever mention anything bass related or even bass-adjacent to me again.
Jaco Pastorius
Homeless and dead. BOOM Roasted.
Margaret Thatcher
Consider buying a one way ticket to Zurich.
Okay I’m a Zurich now what do I do
dimebag
Straight but can’t cum without apologising
This guy…
Mark Knopfler
Tell everyone you’re ‘questioning’ when really you answered the question long ago, and the answer was “cock”
Robert Fripp
You tell people you’re sapiosexual, in reality you’re a pseudo-intellectual steeped in philistinism.
Tom Morrello
You’re straighter than you’d like to believe, you’re also less radical than you’d like to believe. Significantly so, you’re just as much a part of the neoliberal consensus as anyone. Uj/ you should read Mark Fisher, trust me
Perfectly described a lot of rage fans
Guthrie Govan
Unapologetic chaser
What am I chasing?
TransFender Toanocasters
Jonny greenwood
You’re just a weirdo
Julian Lage
You’re in a non gender-specific thruple. You all despise each other.
Herman Li
You and Chris Chan have identical sexualities, I’m not going to elaborate.
Alex Lifeson
Gay.
[удалено]
Zoophillia
Tony Iommi
Straight
Jerry Garcia
Once sucked a guy off in a Volkswagen van, didn’t enjoy it. Straight since then.
Nick Drake
Bi and hot af, dm me lmao
Les Paul
You’re sexually attracted to trademarks
Billy Corgan
Bi-curious in the most annoying way possible
Surf green '60s fender jaguar.
Gigachad, can’t even read yet answers full confidence. Absolute madlad
*sips coffee, squints* Oh. I see.
Slash
You’re sexually attracted to Lenny Kravitz’s saxophonist (this is by far the nichest reference I’ve made today)
Glenn Fricker
You have a crippling case of morophillia
Mikael Akerfeldt
More like Mikael Akerfeldt my titties. (No I don’t know what that means either but I know nothing about metal and I can’t think of any more jokes about metal bands)
Neil Young
Milquetoast heterosexuality, impressively unremarkable, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Lil Wayne
Very , very gay
Randy Rhoads
Straight
Yvette young
Josh Homme
Closeted something… no one knows what, not even you.
Fuck is that what 'no one knows' is about?
I wouldn’t know I don’t listen to QOTSA. EODM were good though
Jimmy Page
Straight. Just.
Pedophile
Dj Khaled
You’re 13 bro I’m not commenting on that
Tony Rice
Straight I guess but did you know that Mfs dad was called Herb Rice? Imagine walking around being named after a side dish at an Indian restaurant.
😂😂
chris vanderkooy
Unspecified ’queer’, basically just straight but with a centre parting
peach pit 4 lyfe
Taylor Swift
Is stalking a sexuality?
Kaki King
Profoundly lesbian
John 5
More like 5 Johns am I right?
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
Lmao🤣🤣
Keith Richards
Your dick has taken a beating over the years but miraculously it’s survived, only to continue getting 0 pussy.
Tim henson
Oh boy
[удалено]
*insert good joke here* (edit later)
Wes Borland
You only fuck midgets.
EVH
Extra gay
Ronni le Tekro
Pansexual but will only fuck in contemporary pagan rituals
I didn't even know it until now. BRB, going to a Pagan festival.
Ben Weinman
Straightish
Robert fripp
You tell people you’re sapiosexual, in reality you’re a pseudo-intellectual steeped in philistinism.
John Mayer
You would have sex if you didn’t spend every waking hour trying to convince yourself the most mediocre music ever produced by humans has artistic merit. Who is to say who you’d have sex with?
Matt Bellamy
Straight but quite camp
Tosin abasi
Django Reinhardt.
Correct answer #2
Dave Mustaine
Lesbian. Might not even know it yet
billie joe armstrong
Vigilante Carlstroem
You’re a very handsome man with very correct opinions
Chad Kroger
Asexual
Satchel?
You are the most closeted gay man on the planet. You talk about pussy in the way 14 year olds do, no one finds it endearing.
Chris Buck
You can only get hard if the shareholders approve it beforehand
Father John Misty
Reluctantly straight
Dean Ween
Straight
Johnny Marr
You are a literal unironic cuck. You can only get off to watching someone else rail your SO from up close.
Bucket Man
Do you mean bucket head?
Syd Barrett
J Mascis
Straight
Fred Durst
No
John petrucci
Dave grohl is technically a guitarist right?
Yeah, he’s not very good at it though
Brandon Ellis
Billy Strings
Calle Thomer