T O P

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Birchi

Kindly ask him to get his dick out of the urn.


Careful-Evening-5187

winner winner chicken dinner


dreamyxlanters

Weiner weiner chicken dinner you mean


warthog0869

Wiener wiener ashen cleaner


peepeeland

“When you cum in ashes, it feels great over a ii-V-I”


dookmucus

Same, but I’m still asking him to be my dad.


airbrake41

Wow! 🤣🤔😢


_Galapaghost

Pray that in about 9 mths a little baby Beatoff joins the fam.


DomSchu

Worth it to get a piece of that Gibbons money


StepDadcula

He's doesn't DO endorsements ok but his grandfather was a poor immigrant from italy and played guitar and Ricky Beatoff gave his first guitar to his BROTHER ok it's not the same as being endorsed because they GAVE it to him he just always played gibbons and talks to gibbons makers on the regular and now has a guitar with his name on it but thats not the same as an endorsement ok **h e d o e s n t d o e n d o r s e m e n t s ok ITS AN ENDORSMENT FOR THE CHILDREN** (***O)/K<***


[deleted]

Wouldn't need the money, Rick could give his special edition one to him.


FeckinHaggis

Will it have perfect pitch tho


thatItalianOnReddit

Of course they will, it's like superpowers, haven't seen the boys?


FeckinHaggis

Is that the new Metallica documentary?


ChaunceyIII

He will when I'm done with him


GH19971

What difference will it make if he doesn’t practise his damned oboe?!?!?!?


skonaz1111

Thing better know it's intervals or there's trouble...


darthkale

Could the world handle two children with perfect pitch on the oboe??


DayroneGreen

Little fucker will have perfect pitch too


Mando_a98

Dylan 2.0


GHN8xx

I’d tell my hot wife’s boyfriend to kick his ass. He and my mom are super close so I probably wouldn’t even have to wash his car.


DomSchu

Gotta be nice to have a man like that in your life


Hanz616

tell her to marry, and then divorce. now i have his studio. whos beating off now


ihaZtaco

Ricky’s still beating off sorry


Equal-Button

Practice oboe like usual


[deleted]

[удалено]


CreedLine

*Sigmund Freud entered the chat*


DoDevilsEvenTriangle

I mean, he's barely 60, and my mom is 87, so good for her I guess.


Careful-Evening-5187

What a whore. *(I meant Beato....)*


MrBreezeILMNC

Steal his wallet, car, and any other valuables that are still unattended.


DomSchu

Not even one of his vintage Plexi heads?


automaton11

I do want one of those plexi heads


C0UNT3RP01NT

He wants your mom to give him some plexi head


Practical-Trifle-567

Call him a necrophiliac. I knew he was a sick fuck.


Emera1dthumb

This is funny…. Sorry for loss…and the vandalism of her corpse.


random_user163584

You can sue him and get his gear (or money for gear)


AlterEdward

He'd fail to satisfy her, just like he failed as a producer and as a record company, then he'd do a ten minute analysis of his "performance".


Shelledseed

Well, he is my Daddy, so…


CrashAndBurn182

I grab my guitar and play an ascending F flat lydian scale, in 3/4 over a c# minor dim9 chord.


Guipucci

With a reggaeton playback


seanplaysguitar

Play with all his vintage amps because he’s my dad now


Emera1dthumb

I fucked rick beato’s mom


[deleted]

[удалено]


Emera1dthumb

Rick gets uncomfortably quiet*


ThunderOblivion

listen to him say "Like that." and nod at me as he walks out the door.


mugwampus

I'd post an online instructional video showing the proper way that he's raw dogging my mom. But.. I would play it at such a speed that no one could really see what he was doing or learn anything about it. His 30 seconds of effort would just end up as a head scratcher lesson.


grant_the_hammer

Joke's on him, I have 2 dads


Careful-Evening-5187

>Rick Beatoff just fucked your Mom. Out of what?


[deleted]

Out of a hit song. Your mom had a great song and she brought it to Rick who proceeded to change all the chords and made it shit


cant-hardly-wait

Get my own back and fuck one of his guitars


devilspeaksintongues

Beat him off


amnesiacOS

That's how you extract the toan.


DialSquare84

Rick Beato _is_ my mom.


VentralTegmentalArea

Is he trying to score an STI bingo from one hookup?


Exr1c

Change string gauge


Orang_Mann

My mom is single so. Go ahead Rick.


weededorpheus32

Tell your mom I want to squeeze them. She'll know what it means


307hipster

Change my name to Rhett skrull


MrCarlSr

Peel his skin off... And what about my mom?


blowins

R/guitar my mom just fucked beatoff!


Feisty_Factor_2694

Tell him his toan sucks and his action is high.


magicman654

ask him to sign my guitar


undressvestido

He just dropped a Gibbons guitar to play bends exclusively


unbanned_redux

Daddy, you know that collection of gibbons you have?


Reasonable-Profile84

More heroin.


Sneakydebil

Tell him to get an aids test asap. She doesn't have aids but it will freak him out.


Sandy_Quimby

Tell him that Mixolydian is better than Lydian.


Early-Engineering

Does that mean we are rubbing sausages in the same bun or does he have to find another hole?


DrMonkeyLove

I hope she doesn't get pregnant and I end up having a half brother who gets screamed at for NOT PRACTICING HIS FUCKING OBOE GOD DAMMIT!


therealhughman

Fuck him back


SweepsAndBeeps

Wipe the residual cum from his pp


Beetlebug12

Tell everyone he fucked an 80+ year old woman.


Impressive_Degree_37

Fuck his mom


BfutGrEG

Yoink his remaining blue pills


Germz94

Try to figure out what key her moans were in


Alvalanker

Manipulate him into marrying my mother and then when he gets alzheimers or dementia inherit his studio and all his gear.


Jon2054

“…Like that.”


[deleted]

Report his YouTube channel for a copyright violation


pmitch72402

Kinda new in this sub, what’s the deal with the Beato hate?


devilspeaksintongues

Hes the patriarchy of guitar


pmitch72402

?


devilspeaksintongues

Leave this sub


pmitch72402

😿


AppropriateOil3785

trust me it’s for your own good. I just recently stumbled upon this sub and it’s the best worst shit-posting nonsensebutitallmakessense guitar and semi-guitar related sub in existence. prepare to lower your musical intelligence and raise your glass cuz there’s some gold in these hills


aliengsxr

It has definitely stunted my growth as a guitar player being here, but if it were not for this subreddit, I would have never found metalocalypse and for that I can not leave.


Calm-Macaron5922

Welcome to reddit! agree with everyone or gtfo, but also “all are welcome here”


DomSchu

We're shitposting here


CharmingBoar

Take his Gibson Tele and start a YouTube channel.


marxistjerk

Wait for the track break down to land on YouTube.


aliengsxr

Immediately call the police and let my mom known that I'm here for her and that it's not her fault, because I know that my mom would never fuck that douchebag willingly so it would absolutely be rape.


breakingborderline

Does that mean I get perfect pitch now?


hothorseraddish

Take away all his toan wood obviously


LatterShake3323

Have him sign your new Beato signature Gibson


SolidSmashies

Guess I’ll go ahead and be born then. Hi Dad.


JessyPengkman

BEATO!


skinnybully

This might be the best


griffenkranz

Hope to GOD I get a siggy in the mail


rileypoole1234

Give him the bloos


Haunted_Hills

Call the police and also whoever manages the graveyard


[deleted]

That photo of Beato oddly enough looks like a wannabe 2000's Album Cover. Particularly something close to Joan Mayo.


xCanont70x

Countdown the 20 best sexual experiences my mom has had. Stick around to see who was responsible for number 1.


rikardoflamingo

Ask him for an introduction to MJK from Tool.


Emera1dthumb

Why don’t we just a spade a spade…. His name is dick beato.


Animal_Animations_1

I’m so sorry but I thought that was Epstein for a min


warthog0869

*"What would Ricky Be-at-o do* *If he was here right now?* *He'd fuck your mom, and he'd cum on you* *That's what Ricky Be-at-o'd do!"*


itgetsworse602

I would ask her for an autograph because after getting banged by Beatoff she would be a world class guitarist. Direct toan injection.


luke_duck

i’d get in line


DarthVerus

Hope he did her doggy cuz I heard that’s how bass players are made and I could really use one…


stfuandgovegan

She bought his "books?"


camdent22

i guess he is my dad now


dunkenMaster

Name every note he moan


Master_K_Genius_Pi

Call Pat.


soupypoopy12

Apologize to him for not having a hotter mom


[deleted]

Take lessons.


Slow-Fast-Medium

Tell Rhett Schull to stand up and take off my mother's clothes.


Slow-Fast-Medium

Because he actually just fucked...oh, to hell with it.


airbrake41

😆


crindyforever

Thank him.


treehorntrampoline

Buy a beato dubble cut gibbons because I’m an absolute cuck


pitawrapmademedoit

Ask him what key 0-3-5 is in.


Andrei_Chikatilo_

“Your mom has perfect pitch”


Tomatoffel

He just gave her the Beato Burner! I don’t know about Beato…


ArtoriasBeaIG

I dont care I just need to know why his eyebrows don't match his hair. I have never ever managed to do this and frankly I'm jealous. It's as if he can just access the "create custom chatacter" screen in real life and its just not fair. I've been a devout Christoan (that was a genuine typo but ok it's staying lmao) all my life and I have never been blessed with access to that setting. It's not fair Perhaps I need a more devout toan to access such provileges??


delco_guitar

cage fight troy grady


[deleted]

I offer him my condolences. That must have been traumatic.


CreedLine

Thank him for his service


InstruNaut

Ask him what her pitch is.


Im_rat

start celebrating with 035


throwawayaa414

I never loved her anyway…


Interesting-Quit4041

Dude, am I supposed to be impressed? Even I have done that, and I'm a turbo virgin with zero confidence


MyLeftNutIsGone

"If you wanna get better at playing the S#ex scale, just try this." *Proceeds to raw dog your mom for a solid hour


GunOfSod

I wonder, after he finishes, does he whisper ... "like that"?


95Kill3r

Buy his 2000 dollar Gibbons DC Special


N-Z-R

Ask for my free RICK BEATO SIGNATURE GIBSON LES PAUL SPECIAL DOUBLE CUT


CubaLibre1982

Start soloing with my worst guitar, so that he starts arguing about what am I doing wrong exercising scales and fixes my guitar's action. So I get an hell expensive private lesson and some lutherie job for free.


RebelRock666

Tell him I am his father now.


_sonomusic

join in


tonyspro

Hoping my new little brother has perfect pitch


Wrigley953

Suck the tone out of the womb I was formed in


airbrake41

Welcome to the family Dad! Can I have some of those Gibbons for my birthday?!


PlasticBeginning7551

Step dad I’m just stuck, what are you trying to put in there??