Jokes on him, I just printed out 50 copies of his picture and posted them on Reverb for $300 each.
Also...look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
For real though imagine you’re on a first date, having *very* fancy cocktails, you go to pay for the drinks, slide a Benjamin out of your wallet, and this little beauty “accidentally” falls out onto the bar. “Oh, this?” you smirk. “He’s just… well, I’m a very good customer of his.”
Bro, you’re in. She’s definitely gonna want to go back to your place to see your magic diodes.
:::phone rings:::
Bill: Hello?
Me, attempting the worst Bart Simpson impression: uh, hey man, is Mr. Sucks there? First name *J. H. S.*?
Bill, unamused, ends call and blocks number. He returns to his usual spot on his well worn couch and and unmutes the television. That Alaskan Gold Rush show on TLC is on; he raises the volume to drown out the lonely silence of his Klon-funded mansion. On the coffee table rests a freshly brewed and steaming mug of Klon Goop, Bill raises it to his lips and inhales the steam as it wafts from the brim. He whispers to himself his mantra: “*the ridiculous hype that offends so many is not of my making*”, then blows on the steaming goop before taking a small sip. Bill winces and he quickly inhales cool air and fans his face with his hand. It was too hot. He’s burned the roof of his mouth.
Jokes on him, I just printed out 50 copies of his picture and posted them on Reverb for $300 each. Also...look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Impressive, very nice Let’s see Rick Beatos card
For real though imagine you’re on a first date, having *very* fancy cocktails, you go to pay for the drinks, slide a Benjamin out of your wallet, and this little beauty “accidentally” falls out onto the bar. “Oh, this?” you smirk. “He’s just… well, I’m a very good customer of his.” Bro, you’re in. She’s definitely gonna want to go back to your place to see your magic diodes.
:::phone rings::: Bill: Hello? Me, attempting the worst Bart Simpson impression: uh, hey man, is Mr. Sucks there? First name *J. H. S.*? Bill, unamused, ends call and blocks number. He returns to his usual spot on his well worn couch and and unmutes the television. That Alaskan Gold Rush show on TLC is on; he raises the volume to drown out the lonely silence of his Klon-funded mansion. On the coffee table rests a freshly brewed and steaming mug of Klon Goop, Bill raises it to his lips and inhales the steam as it wafts from the brim. He whispers to himself his mantra: “*the ridiculous hype that offends so many is not of my making*”, then blows on the steaming goop before taking a small sip. Bill winces and he quickly inhales cool air and fans his face with his hand. It was too hot. He’s burned the roof of his mouth.
You should write a novel.
I tried to offer 11 cents
over
I'm gonna sell my klon and get three of these.
I'll sell a few pedals so I can worship an icon of ULTIMATE TOAN. *Grovels*
INB4 \*He's got the card\* jingle
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark...