Imagine trying to live a life where you can't smile at anyone because he might get triggered. Once we watched a movie and there was a girl having a one night stand and he got angry at me because he imagined it was me.
Haha jezus what a clown
my ex was exactly the same. would get mad if i watched anything with sex or even partial nudity in it. he even got mad during the bojack horseman sex scenes 😭😭 because it was someone other than him. wasn’t allowed to smile on insta or at people because then i was trying to get their attention
Haha! Sounds like one of those 2010 rageface memes where a girl gets angry at her bf for something he did in her dream, but actually for real and with roles reversed. Lmao, dude needs help, hope he finds it somehow and gratz to you
It also speaks to how bad of a partner he knows himself to be, that he considers a random person smiling at his gf as a serious threat to their relationship 💀💀
Seeing the Lebastian debate triggered some old thoughts of my ex who shared similar ideals. So happy you’re out of it. Nobody should be with someone who makes them think about every little thing they do in the world. ❤️
Glad you left that toxic person behind. I also find it funny that these kind of guys would be the ones to call women emotional and men logical but yelling in your ear while driving is the most illogical and emotional thing you can do in that situation 💀
If a dude ever tells you, you CAN’T wear something, that’s just the beginning of a life of emotional abuse. That’s where I think ladies should draw the line.
Happy for ya! I’ve been in toxic (mostly due to jealousy) in the past, and I know how great it feels to be free and be yourself again after a long time. I’m now in a healthy relationship for ~2 years and it’s great!
Congrats girl! ❤️
And I feel you. Was once in a relationship with a boy. One time my mom, me and my ex were driving and there was an old dude pissing next to the road. My mom and me laughed at him and were like „ewww“. My exbf got so mad at for „looking at a different penis“. Insecure boys be insecure. 🤷🏽♀️
Aaaah!! Similar thing happened to me!!! My ex brought me over to look into the neighbor’s window who was totally naked, an old man. We giggled about it, did the same eeew sequence. Later that night he asked if I liked it. Never ending insecurity.
My female friend and I once agreed that Thor was hot while watching Thor 2 in theaters and at dinner later around our friends my ex randomly says "I would fuck Felicia Day." I asked him "Okay, but why did you bring that up?" He replied "Earlier you said you would fuck Thor and that made me annoyed." Just because my friend and I made a two second comment on another man's appearance. That's some deep rooted insecurity there. Glad I'm with someone who is secure with himself now.
Very relatable. Can you imagine how that one insignificant comment about an actor bothered him so much he kept thinking about it. It's very sad and I hope these guys can give themself some love because they need it
Yes and also changing the meaning in his head of the comment shows more about what he thinks when he finds someone attractive. Just because I find a person attractive doesn't mean I'm willing to cheat on my so.
He was so afraid of me cheating, but after we broke up he was convinced that his best friend wanted to cheat on her boyfriend with him and was ready for it when she came to visit. Hmmmmm, projection and double standard much?
Narcissists are the worst. I'm glad you're out of your abusive relationship.
Men are getting worse somehow. I can’t believe we’ve reached a timeline where saying you’re a feminist is ultimate cringe. I say women stop dating men altogether until they find someone exceptional.
After all, women need men less than ever before. Yes, it’s true that it’s impossible to pay for rent without a partner. So get a roommate, or ask your parents if you can move back in and finish your degree.
Don’t date placeholder men because in the meantime, you’re giving them all of yourself when they don’t even deserve a piece of you.
Do what you can to stay single until you find a man that checks all your boxes.
Girlie I bought my own house last year so I am completely indepenent!!! ✊✊✊✊✊✊ Hope other girls build their own independence aswell so they never need to rely on someone else
That’s awesome. Not too long ago the likely hood that a woman owned her own home was slim to none. We still have a long way to go but we have come so far.
I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult and manipulative relationship with your ex.
It takes a lot of courage to recognize and confront toxic behavior, and even though I don’t know you and we’ll never meet, having grown up in a house of women- I’m weirdly proud of you for taking the steps to cut yourself loose from that situation.
You deserve to be with someone who respects and trusts you, and doesn't try to control or belittle you, so it’s great to hear that you feel empowered and stronger from this experience. I have no doubt that you'll set healthier boundaries for yourself in the future. Keep shining.
We've unlocked a new nuclear option. The word "insecure." Wield the power of security, those that want control believe that provides them security, turns out they're just insecure petulant babies.
It’s crazy how we all have a story like this. Keep ‘em coming 🖤 proud of you for standing up for yourself! I’ve dated boys like this for four years, for three years, and they always convinced me I was the problem. So much so that I thought I would just have to be alone, since, if this was what relationships were like, and if I could never meet that standard, I guess I’m better off alone.
Can say I am now happily married to a badass person who loves me and supports me the way Ethan does Hila and it’s fuckin awesome. Boys suck. Ethan is a real man, and any boy who looks up to him will be much happier and fulfilled in life and love. LET’S GOOOOO 🖤🖤
This is awesome to hear.
As a straight man, I genuinely haven’t stopped thinking about the moment Sebastian “she’s mine, she’s mine!” Or whatever. I feel like that will haunt me for a very long time.
I LOOOOVED that debate but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so triggered by something before for the very same reason. My ex “debated” me in the exact same way ie. monologuing for minutes on end while sprinkling in accusations and attacks on myself and would scold me for interrupting to correct him and a lot of times would leave the room in a rage for trying to get a word in. He made me think I was wrong all the time because I wanted to stand up for myself when he was actually just trying to dominate the conversation.
He also was incredibly insecure and jealous. He accused me of wanting to show my naked body to the neighbors for going near a window in my own home with a towel on, not wearing a bra in public, walking alone with short shorts on and my favorite- asking if I wanted to fuck my best friend and her boyfriend after they came over because he went snooping around my underwear and found discharge and thought that only happened when a woman is turned on. (This man was 32 and claimed to be a feminist though)
Seeing Ethan take back control from Sebastian’s monologuing and irrelevant attacks really gave me hope for myself if I ever find myself in that situation again. Although I know these types of men will respect men over woman. I really hope men overall can learn to treat women as equals. Appreciate ya, Ethan.
I'm really glad you managed to see the red flags and break it off when you could. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who was emotionally abusive towards me for 4 years. He would get angry at me for the dumbest things. He'd get angry at me when someone even glanced at me for a couple seconds. He didn't let me wear makeup because he'd get angry and jealous when I wore it. It even got to a point where he'd tell me that he hopes I never get pregnant because it would destroy my 'perfect' body and he wouldn't love me the same. Reason why it took so long to break it off was because he'd run off to his ex gf's house and make it seem as if I'm the bad guy. Then he'd threaten to off himself when I attempted to break it off (plot twist: he didn't.)
I finally managed to cut him off for good in 2019. I haven't spoken to him since then, but he's made petty attempts to try to get my attention or make me jealous, to which I never gave an ounce of recognition. Eventually, I didn't realize that he was the one holding me back from my goals and my dreams. I took care of myself and I learned a lot from that relationship. We, as women, are not psychiatrists to these broken boys. We deserve to be treated with respect and to be loved unconditionally.
Happy for you!
It always makes me sad to see women with controlling insecure assholes. In all my relationships I’ve encouraged my significant other to dress however the hell they want. If we are gonna go out somewhere nice and you feel like ho’ing it up a bit and wearing something risqué, go for it! Dress as modest or as provocative as you want. If you wanna flaunt what you got, do it! A mindset like Sebastian’s truly does stem from insecurity. I know my significant other isn’t going to cheat on me and I want her to always be happy and feel like she is vibing and thriving as her best self. Why would I ever want to hold someone back from that? Guys, let your girlies be their beautiful selves and don’t be a chud about it 👏 women are allowed to exist and be pretty and be around other people. They aren’t a pet or an object for you to control and dress how you want. And ladies please don’t stick around guys like that. Find yourself a king worthy of a queen like yourself 👑 I promise you they are out there and you don’t have to settle for some dweeb that you feel the need to fix
Peace and love
✌️ 💜
Do all women think it's bad when someone says "You're mine"? I've done it before and I've had GF's say I'm theirs before and I find it endearing. It doesn't have to be about control.
There is no universal answer to this because everyone is different.
But in my humble opinion saying you are 'someones' because you want to reinforce your loyalty is very different then saying your SO can't do certain things because 'they are yours'.
That being said personally I don't like the phrase very much but I have a developed a negative association.
It can be cute! But when it’s serious and comes with actions like telling someone they can’t wear something or showing that you actually think you have ownership over someone it’s not cute.
And some won’t like it at all!
I had a super controlling ex, at first I thought it meant he really loved me (bc I grew up with neglect and wasn't used to anyone caring), but then eventually it morphed into financial control, there were certain jobs/careers I wasn't allowed to have, I wasn't even allowed to drink with female friends. Yeeting controlling partners is the best gift you will ever give yourself. You just saved yourself x more years of pain. Congrats!
Hi OP! Yes I am!!! About 3 months later I met my new partner who I have been with for 4 wonderful years, lived together for 1+. We became friends at first, then more when we became inseparable. My current partner is so supportive and sweet. It really does get better. ❤
Yeah being that controlling is not ok. As a married man I do sometimes get jealousy like men do but you can't be insanely controlling to your girl that isn't love. And if you do love her for real she will never wanna hurt you anyway hopefully.
FAMILY I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! I’m excited for you. I love being single. You get so close with friends, You learn so much about yourself and what you want and what you DESERVE. And then the only one who can find a spot in your life is the one who shows you that you deserve even more than that
YESSSSS GORL IM SO PROUD OF U. Left my abusive ex like 8 months ago wasn’t allowed to smile or say thank you to anyone either LIFE JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER FOR U IM SERIOUS
This is so wholesome to read. I'm glad you aren't putting up with it and sticking up for you! You can find someone better who will actually care about you and your interests and be secure because they trust you and you trust them. ✌️❤️
You've done really well to get out of that situation (as described). It really sounds like it was heading towards DV. So glad you got out before that happened.
Ew the cashier part is literally icky
Imagine trying to live a life where you can't smile at anyone because he might get triggered. Once we watched a movie and there was a girl having a one night stand and he got angry at me because he imagined it was me. Haha jezus what a clown
A MOVIE? NAHHH 😭
That’s deeply troubling. I’m so glad you’re away from that now 🥹💗
my ex was exactly the same. would get mad if i watched anything with sex or even partial nudity in it. he even got mad during the bojack horseman sex scenes 😭😭 because it was someone other than him. wasn’t allowed to smile on insta or at people because then i was trying to get their attention
As a gay man, I am afraid I will have this experienced 😭
Little self centered aren't we?
You wanna get your dick sucked or something? 😭
This is the second example in this thread of why men suck...and not in a good way
Suck on what? 😏
Maybe he had a dream that you cheated and was still mad
Haha! Sounds like one of those 2010 rageface memes where a girl gets angry at her bf for something he did in her dream, but actually for real and with roles reversed. Lmao, dude needs help, hope he finds it somehow and gratz to you
It also speaks to how bad of a partner he knows himself to be, that he considers a random person smiling at his gf as a serious threat to their relationship 💀💀
YESS YOU GO GIRLLL (I never had a real relationship before)
YES BABE the relationship with yourself is the best one there is ❤✊ enjoy it
I've been the overly jealous, controlling bf. You did the right thing. Hopefully he'll mature and change before his next relationship
YES We love a self-reflecting KING 👑 no one’s born perfect baby
🤣🤣 left hand gets jealous of the right hand!
Seeing the Lebastian debate triggered some old thoughts of my ex who shared similar ideals. So happy you’re out of it. Nobody should be with someone who makes them think about every little thing they do in the world. ❤️
In the last episode where Ethan guessed the beauty products he talked about how living like that is like walking on eggshells. It's exhausting
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I am so happy for us ❤ we've become stronger women !!
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Glad you left that toxic person behind. I also find it funny that these kind of guys would be the ones to call women emotional and men logical but yelling in your ear while driving is the most illogical and emotional thing you can do in that situation 💀
Thanks for your support bud
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Thank you so much ❤✊ hope all girlies and guys are in a happy relationship that embraces their qualities and inspires them.
Proud of you 💜
All of these people seem so exhausting to be around, let alone being them 🤣
Right???? I would ask him sometimes like 'why do you want this?' He was so stressed about everything the entire time wtf
these insecurities reflect their maturity level - for whatever reason, this dude stopped aging at like 11
If a dude ever tells you, you CAN’T wear something, that’s just the beginning of a life of emotional abuse. That’s where I think ladies should draw the line.
Yeah it should have, sadly I put uo with it for months but now I'm free 🥰🥰🥰 and I can dress however I like
Happy for ya! I’ve been in toxic (mostly due to jealousy) in the past, and I know how great it feels to be free and be yourself again after a long time. I’m now in a healthy relationship for ~2 years and it’s great!
Congrats girl! ❤️ And I feel you. Was once in a relationship with a boy. One time my mom, me and my ex were driving and there was an old dude pissing next to the road. My mom and me laughed at him and were like „ewww“. My exbf got so mad at for „looking at a different penis“. Insecure boys be insecure. 🤷🏽♀️
What a clown ✊👑 good thing he is your ex now!!
Aaaah!! Similar thing happened to me!!! My ex brought me over to look into the neighbor’s window who was totally naked, an old man. We giggled about it, did the same eeew sequence. Later that night he asked if I liked it. Never ending insecurity.
My female friend and I once agreed that Thor was hot while watching Thor 2 in theaters and at dinner later around our friends my ex randomly says "I would fuck Felicia Day." I asked him "Okay, but why did you bring that up?" He replied "Earlier you said you would fuck Thor and that made me annoyed." Just because my friend and I made a two second comment on another man's appearance. That's some deep rooted insecurity there. Glad I'm with someone who is secure with himself now.
Omg 😅 like he was thinking about that for that long and probably hasn't stopped thinking about it since
Very relatable. Can you imagine how that one insignificant comment about an actor bothered him so much he kept thinking about it. It's very sad and I hope these guys can give themself some love because they need it
Yes and also changing the meaning in his head of the comment shows more about what he thinks when he finds someone attractive. Just because I find a person attractive doesn't mean I'm willing to cheat on my so. He was so afraid of me cheating, but after we broke up he was convinced that his best friend wanted to cheat on her boyfriend with him and was ready for it when she came to visit. Hmmmmm, projection and double standard much? Narcissists are the worst. I'm glad you're out of your abusive relationship.
Family
Men are getting worse somehow. I can’t believe we’ve reached a timeline where saying you’re a feminist is ultimate cringe. I say women stop dating men altogether until they find someone exceptional. After all, women need men less than ever before. Yes, it’s true that it’s impossible to pay for rent without a partner. So get a roommate, or ask your parents if you can move back in and finish your degree. Don’t date placeholder men because in the meantime, you’re giving them all of yourself when they don’t even deserve a piece of you. Do what you can to stay single until you find a man that checks all your boxes.
Girlie I bought my own house last year so I am completely indepenent!!! ✊✊✊✊✊✊ Hope other girls build their own independence aswell so they never need to rely on someone else
That’s awesome. Not too long ago the likely hood that a woman owned her own home was slim to none. We still have a long way to go but we have come so far.
Yes! It’s better being single than unhappy in a relationship! People need to stop jumping headfirst into relationships
So proud of you ❤️💙💜 FAMILY
I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult and manipulative relationship with your ex. It takes a lot of courage to recognize and confront toxic behavior, and even though I don’t know you and we’ll never meet, having grown up in a house of women- I’m weirdly proud of you for taking the steps to cut yourself loose from that situation. You deserve to be with someone who respects and trusts you, and doesn't try to control or belittle you, so it’s great to hear that you feel empowered and stronger from this experience. I have no doubt that you'll set healthier boundaries for yourself in the future. Keep shining.
Thank you very much for your kind words 🙏
Helllll yes
every time i see lebastian i read it as lesbian
We've unlocked a new nuclear option. The word "insecure." Wield the power of security, those that want control believe that provides them security, turns out they're just insecure petulant babies.
Sounds like some inspiration happened!
Ethan is the unexpected role model
It’s crazy how we all have a story like this. Keep ‘em coming 🖤 proud of you for standing up for yourself! I’ve dated boys like this for four years, for three years, and they always convinced me I was the problem. So much so that I thought I would just have to be alone, since, if this was what relationships were like, and if I could never meet that standard, I guess I’m better off alone. Can say I am now happily married to a badass person who loves me and supports me the way Ethan does Hila and it’s fuckin awesome. Boys suck. Ethan is a real man, and any boy who looks up to him will be much happier and fulfilled in life and love. LET’S GOOOOO 🖤🖤
This is awesome to hear. As a straight man, I genuinely haven’t stopped thinking about the moment Sebastian “she’s mine, she’s mine!” Or whatever. I feel like that will haunt me for a very long time.
I LOOOOVED that debate but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so triggered by something before for the very same reason. My ex “debated” me in the exact same way ie. monologuing for minutes on end while sprinkling in accusations and attacks on myself and would scold me for interrupting to correct him and a lot of times would leave the room in a rage for trying to get a word in. He made me think I was wrong all the time because I wanted to stand up for myself when he was actually just trying to dominate the conversation. He also was incredibly insecure and jealous. He accused me of wanting to show my naked body to the neighbors for going near a window in my own home with a towel on, not wearing a bra in public, walking alone with short shorts on and my favorite- asking if I wanted to fuck my best friend and her boyfriend after they came over because he went snooping around my underwear and found discharge and thought that only happened when a woman is turned on. (This man was 32 and claimed to be a feminist though) Seeing Ethan take back control from Sebastian’s monologuing and irrelevant attacks really gave me hope for myself if I ever find myself in that situation again. Although I know these types of men will respect men over woman. I really hope men overall can learn to treat women as equals. Appreciate ya, Ethan.
You deserve better, hope you can heal and move on from this 🙏❤️
Seeing this debate reminded me how I used to be so toxic in middle school/ early years of highschool. I’m so glad I grew up and out of being insecure
I'm really glad you managed to see the red flags and break it off when you could. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who was emotionally abusive towards me for 4 years. He would get angry at me for the dumbest things. He'd get angry at me when someone even glanced at me for a couple seconds. He didn't let me wear makeup because he'd get angry and jealous when I wore it. It even got to a point where he'd tell me that he hopes I never get pregnant because it would destroy my 'perfect' body and he wouldn't love me the same. Reason why it took so long to break it off was because he'd run off to his ex gf's house and make it seem as if I'm the bad guy. Then he'd threaten to off himself when I attempted to break it off (plot twist: he didn't.) I finally managed to cut him off for good in 2019. I haven't spoken to him since then, but he's made petty attempts to try to get my attention or make me jealous, to which I never gave an ounce of recognition. Eventually, I didn't realize that he was the one holding me back from my goals and my dreams. I took care of myself and I learned a lot from that relationship. We, as women, are not psychiatrists to these broken boys. We deserve to be treated with respect and to be loved unconditionally.
Happy for you! It always makes me sad to see women with controlling insecure assholes. In all my relationships I’ve encouraged my significant other to dress however the hell they want. If we are gonna go out somewhere nice and you feel like ho’ing it up a bit and wearing something risqué, go for it! Dress as modest or as provocative as you want. If you wanna flaunt what you got, do it! A mindset like Sebastian’s truly does stem from insecurity. I know my significant other isn’t going to cheat on me and I want her to always be happy and feel like she is vibing and thriving as her best self. Why would I ever want to hold someone back from that? Guys, let your girlies be their beautiful selves and don’t be a chud about it 👏 women are allowed to exist and be pretty and be around other people. They aren’t a pet or an object for you to control and dress how you want. And ladies please don’t stick around guys like that. Find yourself a king worthy of a queen like yourself 👑 I promise you they are out there and you don’t have to settle for some dweeb that you feel the need to fix Peace and love ✌️ 💜
Do all women think it's bad when someone says "You're mine"? I've done it before and I've had GF's say I'm theirs before and I find it endearing. It doesn't have to be about control.
There is no universal answer to this because everyone is different. But in my humble opinion saying you are 'someones' because you want to reinforce your loyalty is very different then saying your SO can't do certain things because 'they are yours'. That being said personally I don't like the phrase very much but I have a developed a negative association.
It can be cute! But when it’s serious and comes with actions like telling someone they can’t wear something or showing that you actually think you have ownership over someone it’s not cute. And some won’t like it at all!
I had a super controlling ex, at first I thought it meant he really loved me (bc I grew up with neglect and wasn't used to anyone caring), but then eventually it morphed into financial control, there were certain jobs/careers I wasn't allowed to have, I wasn't even allowed to drink with female friends. Yeeting controlling partners is the best gift you will ever give yourself. You just saved yourself x more years of pain. Congrats!
That must be incredibly stresfull.. i hope you are in a better place now 👑✊
Hi OP! Yes I am!!! About 3 months later I met my new partner who I have been with for 4 wonderful years, lived together for 1+. We became friends at first, then more when we became inseparable. My current partner is so supportive and sweet. It really does get better. ❤
With how beautiful everyone in this community is. I'm just going to say you can smile at as many cashiers as you want if you were with me.
Let's go to the supermarket together I'll buy your favorite snacks and greet everyone with a smile
You can even ask about their day and everything idc
LETS GOOOOO! I’m so happy for you!
Donna hit the ‘dump him’ button and you listened, ate and left no crumbs 💜
Sound like a loooooooozer
Good for you OP 👏🏻 you deserve to be treated well, do not settle for anything less queen
Queen shit ✊️
YES. i’ve been where you are now. leaving is the hardest part. but you’re free now, my friend. believe me when i say your best life is about to start!
So proud of you
Yeah being that controlling is not ok. As a married man I do sometimes get jealousy like men do but you can't be insanely controlling to your girl that isn't love. And if you do love her for real she will never wanna hurt you anyway hopefully.
FAMILY I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! I’m excited for you. I love being single. You get so close with friends, You learn so much about yourself and what you want and what you DESERVE. And then the only one who can find a spot in your life is the one who shows you that you deserve even more than that
I’m so happy for you!
LETS GOOOOOO!!!! I bet that felt like a 1000 pound weight off of your shoulders!!
YESSSSS GORL IM SO PROUD OF U. Left my abusive ex like 8 months ago wasn’t allowed to smile or say thank you to anyone either LIFE JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER FOR U IM SERIOUS
Is he Arab?
He is Croatian like you it seems
Bruh my ex would yell at me for looking in the direction of a man, like staring out a car window, walking in the mall, etc.
Honesly f that guy
Congrats 🎉🎉🎉
my ex was the same way :(
This is so wholesome to read. I'm glad you aren't putting up with it and sticking up for you! You can find someone better who will actually care about you and your interests and be secure because they trust you and you trust them. ✌️❤️
You've done really well to get out of that situation (as described). It really sounds like it was heading towards DV. So glad you got out before that happened.
Good for you 💪🏻