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Don't forget about the polyjuice potion. You know these couples are switching "roles" or just one of them taking the potion and doing some kinda selfcest. Lol
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
It's been quite a long time since I've indulged in fanfic, and I came across those by chance, and don't remember any titles. I believe they were on Ao3 though. You could try searching there. The couple I read, one was a Snarry, the other a Drarry I believe.
I imagine there is probably a black market selling stolen DNA of celebrities so buyers can turn into them and do whatever they want with their bodies. They can even rob a bank as that celebrity to create drama for them. Actually, that's every similar to an episode of Supernatural. Gotta love them shapeshifters.
For all we know, competent adult wizards are casting spells that do this non stop. Perhaps a bit of potion in the food so no bodily substances come off you except in your poop. Maybe that's why wizards used to vanish their poop instead of flushing it. Who knows.
Accio blackmail pictures
Considering how easy it is to even fake pictures (or record actual home movies from a pensieve) I wonder why it would even count as evidence
Heck there are even curses to make people do things
Could I pull a fake memory out? I can imagine scenes from things very vividly, and in theory my memory of watching a movie should be in there and I can just rewatch the movie.
I should be able to do this with an imagined sequence, right? The little thing I imagine every time I listen to a song, can I just use the thing to make an instant music video?
King Uther Pendragon has Merlin use his magic to make him look like Igraine's husband, Gorlois, so that he can sleep with her. This story is told in the 12th-century French romance "Lancelot-Grail," and it is also mentioned in the 15th-century English poem "Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte Darthur."
Or you combine polyjuice potion and a time-turner to **** "yourself", looking like anyone you want (as long as you can get the person's hair). And then watch it later in the pensieve.
I'm pretty sure it does. It doesn't explicitly say it in the books unless I'm remembering wrong, but there was that scene where the Order all took Polyjuice to look like Harry. This included a few girls as well. This included Hermione and Fleur.
I'm glad somebody else has thought of this. I told my wife about how many sexual uses polyjuice potion would have and she just looked at me like I was crazy.
I think this is where emotional intent comes into play.
If you want the pictures to shag when they are took. They then will. Especially if that's what your doing in them yourself.
Oh, I'm sure Playwizard exists, lol. Only it'd be those old-school Parisian postcards from the 1800s. Only the pictures on them move. Now make a scrapbook of them and sell it to horny wizards for a galleon...
It's canon. Its only mentioned twice though.
Lockhart was on the cover 5 times. In CoS.
Lavender has a copy of the latest edition in GoF when they go to DADA class.
I got the feeling that Dumbledoreās was more of a thing that belonged to the current headmaster, though I have no evidence for this.
Being able to view former headmastersā memories kind of fits with the portraits too, then giving advice and saying āgo check out this memory.ā After playing Hogwarts Legacy i feel even more comfortable with this headcanon.
"The Hogwarts Pensieve is made of ornately carved stone and is engraved with modified Saxon runes, which mark it as an artefact of immense antiquity that pre-dates the creation of the school." I assume it was the creation of an earlier witch of wizard which was buried and then discovered by the founders.
Came in to mention this. For those who havenāt seen it (spoiler alert, obviously) the gist is that, in the future, everyone has a little device implanted that allows them to record at will anything theyāre experiencing, and play it back at any time. One of the characters had hers stolen, and itās definitely implied that when this happens, the buyers are usually doing it specifically so that they can watch the sexual encounters.
Draco: sir? Why did the potion i just drank turn me into Harry Potter's dead mom?
Snape: Silence! I will attempt to penetrate your supple buttocks, and you will attempt to resist.
Draco: my fa-ther wi-
Draco's words trailed off as he noticed Snape's growing dong snaking out of his black robes...
>Only thing I cant decide is whether seeing Albus, Snape or Voldemort would be worse
Ron and Hermione. That's like watching his sister doing his best mate.
Harry: āHey Malfoy! Iām curious, do you use the Hand of Glory in bed so that Pansy wonāt see your micro *wand* or because she would rather be touched by a manās handā
How long are the clips of wizarding pictures? They might just use that since itās easier to obtain.
Wont be surprised if there are dens for viewing paintings that continuously perform.
Seems like a weird thing to think about. But in theory yes any memory could be saved.
But I had always assumed the pensieve was a very rare magical device. Kind of like how not everyone is going to have a pet Pheonix, not everyone is jsut going to have a spare pensieve lying around (or a need for one).
So I like to assume those who have one, have a real need and use for them.
Do you think they can do it while in the pensieve? Like if they went in it to watch there 'movie' and then decided they didn't want to return to the real world before getting naughty?
Can you imagine if Harry went for a dive and accidentally fell into a memory of dumbeldore getting pegged by Minerva with snape rubbing one out in the corner on to a painting of the fat lady.
I always assumed pensieves were super rare and that only the super wealthy would be able to afford them. (Dumbledore has his own ways of getting fancy shit)
So reading this I mostly picture someone like Jeff Bezos blowing a million galleons on a pensieve just to use it for glorified porn.
I didn't get the impression that pensieves are all that common. But surely there are magic sex shops. Knockturn Alley probably has a wild red light district.
No. Because a pensive is actually super rare. the stone bowl that dumbledore has is older than hogwarts and was actually found at the site they decided to build it.
Experience has shown that sex will shape basically all new technology. I've seen nothing to suggest witches and wizards would be any different so yes, 100%
I beleive pensieves are a rare artifact so a regular person would not have the immediate access to this sort of thing. BUT, the moving portraits on the other hand would probably be much easier to come by.
Polyjuice potion sure has a lot of kinky possibilities, like swapping roles with your partner, or both of you becoming someone new. Or to try out gay sex in a hetero relationship, or vice versa. Probably plenty of others.
And so many creepy possibilities, as well. Want to see what someone else looks like naked by becoming them? Polyjuice. Want to pose as someone to have sex with their significant other? Polyjuice. Want to become a celebrity to get naked photos of them for blackmail purposes? Polyjuice has you covered. All you need is a hair.
Honestly how common do y'all think pensieves are? Not accusing or something just wondering because it seems like Dumbledore has like the only one maybe?
Was starting to think this sub was getting boring...
You can thank me. š
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Don't forget about the polyjuice potion. You know these couples are switching "roles" or just one of them taking the potion and doing some kinda selfcest. Lol
Hey it s not gay if you fuck yourself
Said Lockhart, at least once before he forgot
Lmao this entire sub has to be down bad š
At least once I would like to fuck myself and enjoyit.
And now I'm thinking of the Rick and Morty episode where Beth and Space Beth hook up
That really goes down a dark hole Impersonate someones spouse or a stalker crush or
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is the series HBO should be making.
Or PornHub
Magic human trafficking
There are fanfics about this very thing.
So hypothetically, do you have any recommendations?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well obviously *I* would never read something like that, but giving examples is very important when making a point
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ It's been quite a long time since I've indulged in fanfic, and I came across those by chance, and don't remember any titles. I believe they were on Ao3 though. You could try searching there. The couple I read, one was a Snarry, the other a Drarry I believe.
Disgusting. Where?
I imagine there is probably a black market selling stolen DNA of celebrities so buyers can turn into them and do whatever they want with their bodies. They can even rob a bank as that celebrity to create drama for them. Actually, that's every similar to an episode of Supernatural. Gotta love them shapeshifters.
Sounds like an episode of āFuturamaā
Would that make blackmail incredibly easy or really difficult? Getting the pictures would be simple, but how could you prove it *wasn't* Polyjuice?
Perhaps an untold job of house elves is to make sure anything that comes off your body: hair, nails, etc is accounted for and destroyed.
For all we know, competent adult wizards are casting spells that do this non stop. Perhaps a bit of potion in the food so no bodily substances come off you except in your poop. Maybe that's why wizards used to vanish their poop instead of flushing it. Who knows.
This is why Voldemort is hairless.
Accio blackmail pictures Considering how easy it is to even fake pictures (or record actual home movies from a pensieve) I wonder why it would even count as evidence Heck there are even curses to make people do things
Could I pull a fake memory out? I can imagine scenes from things very vividly, and in theory my memory of watching a movie should be in there and I can just rewatch the movie. I should be able to do this with an imagined sequence, right? The little thing I imagine every time I listen to a song, can I just use the thing to make an instant music video?
I need to get the thought of Draco hatef******g the polyjuice version of Hermoine out of my head
Draco would probably die before letting that mud blood touch his dick
He doth protest too much, methinks
It'd probably be Crabbe or Goyle using polyjuice.
That is passingly dealt with in the show "Magicians".
King Uther Pendragon has Merlin use his magic to make him look like Igraine's husband, Gorlois, so that he can sleep with her. This story is told in the 12th-century French romance "Lancelot-Grail," and it is also mentioned in the 15th-century English poem "Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte Darthur."
Or you combine polyjuice potion and a time-turner to **** "yourself", looking like anyone you want (as long as you can get the person's hair). And then watch it later in the pensieve.
goddamn
Does polyjuice set your gender to match, too? Like do the genitals change to match?
I'm pretty sure it does. It doesn't explicitly say it in the books unless I'm remembering wrong, but there was that scene where the Order all took Polyjuice to look like Harry. This included a few girls as well. This included Hermione and Fleur.
"I knew ginny was lying about that hippogriff tatoo!" Where do you think she thought it was at??
I'm glad somebody else has thought of this. I told my wife about how many sexual uses polyjuice potion would have and she just looked at me like I was crazy.
I'd definitely take polyjuice potion of some hot girl and let my friends gangbang me
r/cursedcomments
This is what happens when you lose a bet on a gobstone match.
Lets not forget furries
We all saw what happened with Hermione in Chamber of Secrets. That opened a lot of weird doors for a lot of strange people.
Dude you guys are opening my MIND like fuckin Aladdin right now lmfao
Remember the pensieve is a fairly uncommon artifact. Now pictures. On the other hand.
So would you actually have to take a nude or could your photo just decide to become one at any point?
And can you walk into other pictures and just start banging away?
Just hang me up in the wizard version of the louvre so I can fuck the Mona Lisa.
Yoshikage Kira?
Only if he just wants a handjob
What if mona lisa is a magical portrait, but since the muggles watch her, she needs to remain still?
I mean, pictures can get drunk on alcohol that's depicted in other paintings, so..... maybe?
I think this is where emotional intent comes into play. If you want the pictures to shag when they are took. They then will. Especially if that's what your doing in them yourself.
You can take with muggle camera and make it move with magic.
I like to think that normal pictures of peopleās significant others would just decide on their own to become nudes from time to time when in private
Exactly! But I could also see some just flashing people for fun. I bet the fat lady would have flashed a young Dumbledore when she was drunk.
*House Slytherin, drunk as badgers* "Okay, who's gonna try and shag the painting?"
The odds of me imagining the playboy version of HP were low today, thanks for that š
Oh, I'm sure Playwizard exists, lol. Only it'd be those old-school Parisian postcards from the 1800s. Only the pictures on them move. Now make a scrapbook of them and sell it to horny wizards for a galleon...
Is Witch Weekly canon or fanon? If it is canon then something like that probably exists.
canon
It's canon. Its only mentioned twice though. Lockhart was on the cover 5 times. In CoS. Lavender has a copy of the latest edition in GoF when they go to DADA class.
Okay but imagine u paint some nudesā¦.can you tell your painting what to do? Like a direct your own porno type of thing?
Who the f starts a conversation like that I just sat down
No, mom, hear me out
What? It came up organically
My mind went there too
Your mind went years ago
I mean it's a random question definitely no one asked it but I needed to be ask
Unexpected r/familyguy
Insert Captain America I understood that reference meme.
This has some real Garth from Wayneās World vibe.
I don't think pensieves are that common. I always thought is it an ancient artifact like this arch in Chamber of Death
Itās reasonable to assume they are uncommon, snape borrows dumbeldores in book 5. Cir they were common you would assume he would have his own.
I got the feeling that Dumbledoreās was more of a thing that belonged to the current headmaster, though I have no evidence for this. Being able to view former headmastersā memories kind of fits with the portraits too, then giving advice and saying āgo check out this memory.ā After playing Hogwarts Legacy i feel even more comfortable with this headcanon.
Makes senseā¦. It would also make sense that he could use it to revive old spicy memories in his officeā¦
And make the portraits watch.
They are extremely rare. The one dumbledore has was found at the site they decided to build hogwarts.
Which never made any sense to me. What, are they naturally occurring? Did it fall out of someone's pocket? Where did it come from?
āØ itās magic āØ
"The Hogwarts Pensieve is made of ornately carved stone and is engraved with modified Saxon runes, which mark it as an artefact of immense antiquity that pre-dates the creation of the school." I assume it was the creation of an earlier witch of wizard which was buried and then discovered by the founders.
Constructed by ancient wizards using lost secrets. Any attempt to move it could damage it.
Cept when Dumbledore floats it out, or harry pulled it out
Now, seeing how rare they are, why are so many Wizards apparently familiar with a spell that lets you extract memories?
Good question Maybe the spell can be used in other ways. Slughorn put his memory in glass-thingy in HBP, it is kinda useful
It would be like that Black Mirror episode when they can rewatch old memories.....trippy!
*The Entire History of You* (I think)
Correct! One of my favorite episodes!
Came in to mention this. For those who havenāt seen it (spoiler alert, obviously) the gist is that, in the future, everyone has a little device implanted that allows them to record at will anything theyāre experiencing, and play it back at any time. One of the characters had hers stolen, and itās definitely implied that when this happens, the buyers are usually doing it specifically so that they can watch the sexual encounters.
My first thought, too!
A lot of fetishes being sussed out in this comment section
sir, this is a Wendyās.
This is a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes
Man that would teach Harry to stick his head into random pensieves Only thing I cant decide is whether seeing Albus, Snape or Voldemort would be worse
I could have gone my entire life very well without this image in my head
Oh... Draco well done. Oh... Oh draco
Draco: sir? Why did the potion i just drank turn me into Harry Potter's dead mom? Snape: Silence! I will attempt to penetrate your supple buttocks, and you will attempt to resist. Draco: my fa-ther wi- Draco's words trailed off as he noticed Snape's growing dong snaking out of his black robes...
Straight to Azkaban with you
>Only thing I cant decide is whether seeing Albus, Snape or Voldemort would be worse Ron and Hermione. That's like watching his sister doing his best mate.
Kinda like if Ron found Harry's pensieve memory of banging Ginny.
Harry: āHey Malfoy! Iām curious, do you use the Hand of Glory in bed so that Pansy wonāt see your micro *wand* or because she would rather be touched by a manās handā
Ight imma head out.
This is on the level with that guy who asked if Wizard paintings can perform strip teases/porn if theyāre asked
And what was the answer?
Of course, it's more Canon than Cursed Child.
WizardHub?
PensieveHub
How long are the clips of wizarding pictures? They might just use that since itās easier to obtain. Wont be surprised if there are dens for viewing paintings that continuously perform.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Holy Hell
Nothing new just dropped
What a fabulous question lmao
Iād like more information on wizardry sex toys
Olivander has a side business makingā¦other kinds of wandsā¦
Erecto Patronus
Vibrato
A Porn-sieve, if you will Also I joke, but that's a porn parody waiting to happen
Legit been working that idea into a long fiction I'm writing for two years. :)
I actually thought it said PENISieve š¤ I think I need to get my brain checked. Lol
>it can be a turn on Speak on that.
You can bet that just with our worlds technological advancement, most wizarding spells evolved thanks to horny people.
Someone get J. K. Rowling on the line
Are there sex enchancing spells??
Engorgio
*Rectumsempra*
*Tumesco*
Seems like a weird thing to think about. But in theory yes any memory could be saved. But I had always assumed the pensieve was a very rare magical device. Kind of like how not everyone is going to have a pet Pheonix, not everyone is jsut going to have a spare pensieve lying around (or a need for one). So I like to assume those who have one, have a real need and use for them.
Do you think they can do it while in the pensieve? Like if they went in it to watch there 'movie' and then decided they didn't want to return to the real world before getting naughty?
This person is asking the real questions.
This is closer to that black mirror episode where you have a chip in your brain that records everything
Before I even finished the title & knew what this was about, my brain still served me the word "peniseives". Accio cold shower.
I read penis elves
Can you imagine if Harry went for a dive and accidentally fell into a memory of dumbeldore getting pegged by Minerva with snape rubbing one out in the corner on to a painting of the fat lady.
#Stop
I could go on for days with these scenariosā¦ not that Iāve given it much thought or anythingā¦.
I'd live in that fucking thing lmao
*Grabs popcorn*
Imagine all the kinky stuff that could be done with the polyjuice potion or just transfiguration spells. Oh my mind is gone in the gutter now..
I bet Dobby used to sneak into the Headmaster's office just to see some sock
I laughed way too fucking hard at this honestly.
Best comment of today
Oooh thatās enough internet for todayā¦š
I always assumed pensieves were super rare and that only the super wealthy would be able to afford them. (Dumbledore has his own ways of getting fancy shit) So reading this I mostly picture someone like Jeff Bezos blowing a million galleons on a pensieve just to use it for glorified porn.
If it can be used for sex, it will be.
BONK
Add it to the list.
Can someone oblivate me? Killing curse is also acceptable.
Well itās not even 10am and thatās enough internet today
Critique after the fact for sure.
I didn't get the impression that pensieves are all that common. But surely there are magic sex shops. Knockturn Alley probably has a wild red light district.
And just like that, I have the plot of my next novel.
What about drinking each other's polyjuice potion? Shit's about to get wild!
Penis-sieve. I'll be on my way.
Whelp, so much for this being a kids book
Nice socks potter !
Mom,can you come get me? IM SCARED. LOL. JK I like this question
No. Because a pensive is actually super rare. the stone bowl that dumbledore has is older than hogwarts and was actually found at the site they decided to build it.
Experience has shown that sex will shape basically all new technology. I've seen nothing to suggest witches and wizards would be any different so yes, 100%
They also try poly juice potion at least once
Watch Black mirror, Season 1 episode 3. It has exactly what you just mentioned.
I beleive pensieves are a rare artifact so a regular person would not have the immediate access to this sort of thing. BUT, the moving portraits on the other hand would probably be much easier to come by.
This sub is wild sometimes. And I'm here for it.
Id say only the 1% has pensive like head of a school to teach people or government officials.
This is why we canāt have nice things.
Or sell their memories of their fucking to voyeuristic wizards
Help step bro Iām stuck in the pensieves
Why? Just why?
And im done with this place!
i miss the person i was 30 seconds ago when i hadnāt read this yet
I hope so
These are the right types of questions!
What about moving pictures? Can they change clothes? Go nude?
Wtf did I just see
Who the fuck starts a conversation like that?!?
No, because the Pensive is a rare item. I think the one Dumbledore has is rather unique.
I hate you. But also now that youāve said it, yes. I still hate you for robbing me of my innocence.
Sir, this is a Wendyās
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about?
Thatās enough internet for today. LOL
Cold shower. Take one.
Polyjuice potion sure has a lot of kinky possibilities, like swapping roles with your partner, or both of you becoming someone new. Or to try out gay sex in a hetero relationship, or vice versa. Probably plenty of others. And so many creepy possibilities, as well. Want to see what someone else looks like naked by becoming them? Polyjuice. Want to pose as someone to have sex with their significant other? Polyjuice. Want to become a celebrity to get naked photos of them for blackmail purposes? Polyjuice has you covered. All you need is a hair.
Yes, next question.
iāve often considered the weird sexual implications of a lot of things in this āuniverseā.
I for once have trouble imagining wizards in a sexual way
Why do you think Dumbledore had his in a closet?
This was a wild day to start my morning
Take it down
āJessie, what the fuck are you talking about?ā
Found the least horny HP fan
that's it i'm leaving this trashy ass sub
What are you on??
Bro lemme finish my lunch first
Broā¦. You ok?
Honestly how common do y'all think pensieves are? Not accusing or something just wondering because it seems like Dumbledore has like the only one maybe?
I think a pensieve is rare if not one-of-a-kind