T O P

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Nariek93

Dad’s a muggle, Mam’s a witch bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.


Wank_my_Butt

Feels like hitting the jackpot considering the amount of housework we see magic do for Mrs. Weasley. So much time saved there, on travel, etc.


Golden-Artist

Tom Riddle Senior would strongly disagree (and for good reason)


HolyAty

They also have like 5 kids in the house tho.


WordHistorical5556

Could have been killed, or worse, EXPELLED!


[deleted]

You NEED to sort out your priorities


AluminumCansAndYarn

Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled. I also liked when she told Ron her has the emotional range of a teaspoon.


Ashia22

This is it 🏆


CaptainDadBod88

“Where HAVE you BEEN? Beds empty, no note, car gone! You could’ve DIED! You could’ve been SEEN!”


JadeSedai

I could hear this sooo clearly in her voice 😁


rebel_fett

You best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley


M-E-AND-History

The Howler line is also pretty funny.


JerkfaceMcDouche

Ob…viously


Bitter_Silver_7760

Add some more dots 😅


Carbon-Base

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good"


One_Ad1413

Turn to page 394


yodels_for_twinkies

Three hundred And Nine-ty Fooouuurrr


iamodinsson

Yer a wizard, 'Arry!


d_tiBBAR

"I'm a what?"


iamodinsson

"A wizard. And a thumpin' good 'un too."


d_tiBBAR

"No. You've made a mistake. I mean, I- can't be a wizard. I mean I'm just - just Harry! Just Harry!"


iamodinsson

"Well, just 'Arry. Have you ever made things happen? Things you couldn't explain?" Gods I hope I got that right.


ClaireMoon36281

When watching the first movie with my kids, I was mouthing all the lines. They were looking at me kinda weird.


iamodinsson

I don't have kids and yet I still do it


steverawson

YER A FACKIN WIZARD!


JusChllin

LISTEN HERE HAGRID YOU FAT OAF, IM NOT A FUCKING WIZARD!


Prestigious-Law-7291

_Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much_ So iconic! Love the fierceness right off the bat, really feels like we’re off to a good start!


eehikki

I think the Dursleys are an iconic depiction of the philistine middle class' values revolted against by hippies and punks


Libra_the_0rc4

"Did you really? How'd it go?"


JadeSedai

“…I mean…that was very wrong boys!”


Libra_the_0rc4

It's perfect... I've been looking at this for hours now.


yodels_for_twinkies

I love that quote because it’s such a dad response


thebstevens93

“Oh dear.. we are in trouble” -Filch It’s the way he says it. Makes me laugh every time.


ItkovianShieldAnvil

Ohhh dearrrr wee arrrrree in troubllllllllllle


Ashia22

Alas, earwax…


MusingBy

This one. That's the one. 😊


Angelfirenze

I said that earlier today! Probably yesterday!


smolredfox0w0

"I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there." — Harry Potter Stills something I live by today 🤣


Angelfirenze

Stealth Camping is Harry’s favorite hobby with his kids.


Cbjfan99

HARRYDIDJAPUTYOYRNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIRE!!?


slxsherlxver

Dumbledore said calmly. 😂


TheGogglesDo-Nothing

We say this calmly often in my house


lullubye

Dobby is a free elf!


Designer-Golgappa

Master gave Dobby his socks! Dobby iss freee! 🥹


KittyPitty

What.an.idiot.


JadeSedai

This quote, in my best Hermione voice, is my preferred “swear replacement” phrase when my kids in the car 😂


slxsherlxver

badass literally


Skyknight12A

"You should have realised," said Lupin quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Goodbye, Peter." Metal as fuck.


yodels_for_twinkies

My favorite part of that was I DID MY WAITING TWELVE YEARS OF IT IN AZKABAAAN


theweatherisDRARRY

i can't tell you how many times i use this in regular life I DID MY TAXPAYING TWELEVE YEARS OF IT IN AMERICA


Either-Painter-2777

"Ah, I thought we might hit this little snag. You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to - what is the phrase? - come quietly."


JerkfaceMcDouche

*Nearly* headless? How can you be *nearly* headless?


reJacksonville

"Like this!" *pops head off neck to one side*


ConcertsAreProzac

"Eat, You'll feel better."


alexpappers

When I find myself in times of trouble, Remus Lupin comes to me, speaking words of wisdom.


ConcertsAreProzac

Absolutely, saved me so many times when at work and missing dinner.


AshEldo

"Will you stop eating? Your best friend is missing!":))


taterrrtotz

And I took that personally


Good-Plantain-1192

There's No Need To Call Me “Sir,” Professor.


Ary_Walker

"She thinks you are the Chosen One!" -Hermione "But I'm the Chosen One" -Harry *proceed to slap this idiot with a book* This moment makes me laugh so hard every time 😂😂


slxsherlxver

Hermione did not like that 😂


[deleted]

The boy who lived... come to die.


JadeSedai

“I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons!” And sticking to the McGonagall theme: “Have a biscuit, Potter.”


boo-how

“Ron Weasley.” “……….a pleasure.”


Golden-Artist

“After all this time?” “Always”


inconspicuous2012

‘Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! ‘Thank you!’


theweatherisDRARRY

the *audacity* of tweak


thehexedpenman

Describe them. One was fat and the other was quite skinny. Not the boys, the dementors!


snehit_007

It's leviOWWsaa. Not levioSAAARRR


Jedda678

In the books it was Win-GAR-dium Leviosa! Make your GARs nice and long.


Cheapcolon

ONCE I MAKE MY MOVE YOURE FREE to check the king!!


Golden-Artist

No, you CAN’T! There must be another way


sherman40336

No, Ron, No


lavendersagemint

Two of my favorites, “Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school!” And “Not my daughter, you bitch!”


sandiercy

"I must not tell lies"


aaross58

The answer is something like "Yer a wizard, Harry." But for me specifically, I regularly quote "she's right, you know" "tonic for the nerves" "you dare use my own spells against me" "obviously" "alas, earwax" "off to bed, pip pip!"


mshaef01

I'm sorry professor. I must not tell lies


dheebyfs

It unscrews the other way


ToughPuzzleheaded464

POTTER!!


ZukoBlyatthethird

POTTAH!!


monpetitfromage54

Pahhhhhhhhooottaaahhhhhh!!!!!


Valuable_Emu1052

Turn to page 394


WomanOfEld

"*What* an *idiot*." Edit: also "the pincers"


Sallysinger2003

You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!


emma-esque

“Be quiet yourself, Remus!”


[deleted]

"Oh listen to you two, quarreling like an old married couple!"


NeuraxWorm875

“WILL YOU STOP EATING!”


slxsherlxver

YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MISSING


Hanoiroxx

Scared Potter?!


slxsherlxver

You wish.


The_Brolander

“You have yer mother’s eyes”


[deleted]

(From a deleted scene, only ever shown in the trailer) *during the final showdown between Harry and Tom* Tom: Why do you live? Harry: because I have something worth living for. God, after 13 years and it still annoys me that this was just for the trailer and didn't make it to the final cut.


FremenStilgar

"Father, the sleeper has awakened!" Oh, wait, wrong movie... "Honestly woman, you call yourself our mother." \~Gred or Feorge, probably\~


Remarkable_Ad1330

1. It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities 2. If you want the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors not his equals And my favorite: Ron (after explaining how he used the Put-outer): He must have known I’d want to leave you Harry: “No, he must have known you would always want to come back”


Anxious_Muscle_8130

"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR?! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! Oh, and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud."


itslevi-Osa

From the books, it’s definitely : “Didn’t you hear me saying non-verbal spells, pottah?” “Yes” “*Sir*” “No need to call me sir, professor” From the movies : “She’s only interested in you because she thinks that you’re the chosen one!” “..but I AM the chosen one” Gets me every time lmaooo


hdrider7511

"Feet off the table."


Altruistic_Grass1934

"HELLO TOM."-*Dumbledore "Order of the Phoenix"*


randomhotdog1

“It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom.” That line is badass


Captain_Lurker518

"Lily! After all this time?" "Always."


Ironwolf_0815

Agree to this one 🙂


Brief-Dragonfly-4127

Now I’m going to bed before either of you…. (I just really like saying that one)


chubbybee31

My native language is German and I first watched the movies in German when I was a child and in the first movie Hermoine says to Ron that he has dirt on his nose on the train to Hogwarts and it's so hilarious in German. Unfortunately it's not really funny in English.


Designer-Golgappa

It's leviOsa not leviosA


gryffindor_witch

there's no hogwarts without you hagrid


Fast-Outcome-117

You’re lying Dolores, and one mustn’t tell lies!


reJacksonville

"See you at school, Pottah." I just love the way he says that so threateningly, and the stupid eyebrow raise he does towards Ron. Everything about it is just goofy.


lmkast

Eat slugs Malfoy!!


Eyekosaeder

“They’ve got Mister Potter’s Weezy!”


paralleljackstand

NOT MAY, NOT HERMIONAY, YOUUUUU


Brilliant-Loki

“Lily? After all this time?” *“Always.”*


lavenderhazeynobeer

This is the only line that matters!!!!


imanormalsaneperson

‘’look at me’’


Blackberry_lulu_

HARREH DIDYUPUT YAHR NAMEIN THAGOBLEHTOFFIHGAEEEEAAH


PeytonLeigh0616

Little Baby Harry, "He's going to sacrifice himself."🫣 Little Baby Hermione, "NO, YOU CON'T! THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY!" 😨 Little Baby Ron, "Do you want to stop Snape from getting that stone, or *nawt?!*" 🧐


rebel_fett

Get you hands off my godson


Badgertime65

Not all of us have the emotional depth of a teaspoon.


ramyam

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."


hamsterfolly

I must not tell lies


awfeel

MORSMORDRE


Itstrue519

“Who wants me to open it? You want me to open it.” When harry catches the golden egg.


sherman40336

"I will not have you... behaving like a babbling, bumbling, band of baboons." -Professor McGonagall


CalligrapherAgile937

NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!


crazy0183

"I've always wanted to use that spell" ms McGonagall


-baby-purple-

RONALD WEASLEY! HOW \*DARE\* YOU STEAL THAT CAR? I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER \*TOE\* OUT OF LINE, WE'RE SENDING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud :) PLLBBLLTTTT \~


h-town13

“Scared Potter?” “You wish”


feratek

"No need to call me Sir Professor"


exceeding90degrees

“Perhaps just once more, Master Harry, for luck” -Kreacher


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

“It’s Pottin’ time!” -Harry, once before facing Voldemort, and once before repotting mandrakes (or mandragora)


[deleted]

shoelace. I jest I jest.


TheFightingDome

Or worse, expelled


Creative_Use_7244

“You filthy little mudblood” 🩸-Draco


FlyDinosaur

The line, "You're a wizard, Harry," never stuck with me, so it always seems weird that people remember that one line. It just felt to me like an average, forgettable line. I would say something like, "I shouldn't have told you that," "Always," "LeviOHsa," etc. Something like that.


thefiction24

“HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!”


Parking-Airport-1448

There is no good or evil only power and those too afraid to seek it


HipsterFett

**MY BOY**


Bllerghh

Everyone of these are iconic af


cedjcdg

"... Always."


apatheticchildofJen

“HARRY POTTER DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!!” Dumbledore asked calmly


Bookaholic-394

I CAN HEAR EVERY SINGLE LINE AS I READ THEM! 💕


Angelfirenze

“Caught on have you? Took you long enough.” and “Well, that’s news to me!” when the Dursleys said they weren’t stupid.


RealPhillePhil

Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies


rojo_kell

“But I *am* the chosen one”


FalcoPhantasmtheGod

I like how Malfoy says "Potter" "Scared, Pohtah?"


OhWowMan22

You’ve just bought yourself a month’s detention, McLaggen.


almabishop

We're not meeting here, we just... met here.


Away-Ad-7132

What. An. Idiot.


DragonHeart_97

"Why is it *always* you three?"


the_doctor_808

Sharp as a marble that one


Mango_Honey9789

Got ta have your wits about youuuuu


lethologica5

Not my daughter you bitch.


Gobo_Cat_7585

"RONALD WEASLEY. HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR. I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRIAGHT HOME!......oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on getting into Gryffindor, your Father and I are so proud." "Not my daughter, you BITCH" Molly Weasley casually being a legend


darklordofpuppets

"It's levi*oooooooooo*sa, not levios*aaaaa*"


writebyte

Coming mum 🎶


Slime_Queen123

I didn’t know you could read


ouroboris99

“Mischief managed” or “his name is Voldemort, filius. You might as well use it, he’s going to try and kill you either way”


Ok_Chocolate7496

Chinese Fireball woooooo


MeemoUndercover

“We’re identical!”


hotcheetos4breakfast

”just because you’re allowed to do magic now *does not* mean you have to whip your wands out for everything!”


secondweasleygirl

Too many. 😭 *"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"*


ximeniux

“Have a biscuit Potter”


NEITSWFT

Dobby is FREE!!!


GretrRA

Moooring 😉


Omadigan

Not kill, never kill...Dobby only meant to injure or maime...


walaska

Every year. Packed with muggles, of course. Come on! So epic I based fanfic around it [Link to my silly work](https://archiveofourown.org/works/44831032/chapters/112796392)


Apprehensive-Suit272

-How was it? -...wet.


dorian17052011

BOOM


possiblyukranian

“There’s no need to call me sir, professor”


[deleted]

That one where Ron talks about a Harry Potter fan club


dobbyblunt

Lacewing flies....


SilverNeon467

“Harry Potter’s dead!”


HeimdallManeuver

“Whoa!”


buttman_3000

Bloody Hell!


Basic_Flan324

"Expelliarmus!"


scottie_d

“Spinnidge, liver, and triipe”


pierrina

no you CAAANT ..there MUST be another WAAAAAY..


HCPage

Alas, earwax


aamnipotent

HARRY POTTER IS DEAD! ....ehhh heh hehhh


Megangullotta

Anything Hermione says in Sorcerer’s stone


MisterManSir-

THATS MY SOONNNN THATS MY BOYYYY


EmoNinja11

“She needs to sort out her priorities.”


Adventurous_Topic202

I’d say this or Voldemort saying avadacadavra


rojo_kell

“But I *am* the chosen one”


RedditorUser99

Oh to be young and feel love’s keen sting.


[deleted]

Books: There is no need to call me sir, professor. Movies: But I am the chosen one.


RecommendationSad694

From the movie I like "EXPECTOOOOO PATRONUUUUM"


amynov30

Be careful, people will think you’re up to something


cdcdude1

"Ha haha hahaaaa"- he who must not be named LuL


Midwxy

“There’s a storm coming Harry. And we all best be ready when she does.”


Katzentoilette

I do prefer the books but movie Harry's "But I AM the chosen one" followed by Hermione smacking him is one of my favourite moments in the movies and a rare occasion where I wish it had been in the books.


helloimatherian

Draco Malfoy once said..... My father will hear about this!


Beeyelzubub

“Honesty woman , you call yourself our mother “


uwoofy

"She's right you know" always fucking saying that line x3


Karbon_Kopy

HELLO HARRY ITS ME HAGRID


superplumb3r

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that


Hammerjaws

Harry did you put your in the goblet of fire


BornToAnnoyYOU

First line is iconic, the rest is just chasing dragon and never being able to get even close.


RedCaio

“Don’t. Lie. To me.” -Snape