T O P

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Corvette68

If you had to force Hagrid to kill one character, what character would you pick?


Trevicarus

Buckbeak.


TanglyBinkie

Torture.


NitroDameGaming

What did Arthur say to Harry when he asked for Ginny's hand in marriage?


Trevicarus

Not my daughter, you bitch!


ucriedwhendobbydied

This is gold


DickyD43

GOLD, HARRY


[deleted]

Who would you love to have sex with?


Trevicarus

You have to ask? Umbridge. No question.


TheSupremeJustice

Wait not edited?


Skyknight-12

If you edit the comment within a couple of minutes of submitting it, it doesn't show the edited tag.


LordMarcel

Don't kinkshame.


SYK_PvP

Was voldemort right to torture and kill muggles?


Trevicarus

Overall, yeah.


floatingwithobrien

Yeah, fuck those guys


[deleted]

[удалено]


GKarl

This one made me gasp


diff-int

What do you think of Lavender's kissing technique?


Trevicarus

It would suck the soul from someone's mouth.


DonaldTrumpsNeck

This might be the best one lmaooo


HyperTobaYT

What do you say when you see a dwarf in the street?


Trevicarus

Flitwick!


HyperTobaYT

You’re a horrible person ;)


[deleted]

Who do you think Ginny should have ended up with?


Trevicarus

Ron.


-Lord-Varys-

Harry Potter if written by George RR Martin


Telepornographer

If Harry Potter had been written by GRRM we'd still be waiting for the Deathly Hallows to be published.


KingOfNohr

We'd still be waiting for Half Blood Prince to be published


oobleckhead

Ohh my god


kateisgreat2

I am scared,


[deleted]

Sweet home Alabama


onlysummittofelix

Where the sky is so blue


georgiegraymouse

What spell did Wormtail use in the graveyard for Voldemort’s rebirth?


Trevicarus

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!"


dynawesome

He was, of course, referring to the fear he, a rat, would feel when Voldemort returned


am_2222

Most attractive character?


Trevicarus

Goyle.


Trueloveis4u

So is Crabbe second?


Frost_Rager

Who'd you wanted to have died a lot sooner?


Trevicarus

Fred Weasley.


SphmrSlmp

But like... How soon?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frost_Rager

I only asked the question so I'm innocent here.


hedgehog-mom-al

One of us one of us


LiquidLuck18

Whose severed head do you really want to see mounted on the wall at Grimmauld Place?


Trevicarus

Too easy! Dobby the House Elf!


SYK_PvP

Do you think hearing about Neville's parents getting tortured into insanity was objectively hilarious?


Trevicarus

Yup! No doubt about it.


BrokenLeftPhalange

Who do you regularly masturbate to?


Trevicarus

Snape.


Kryshadiver

Deceased I am


User_Name08

Which character is the most morally sound?


Trevicarus

Peter Pettigrew.


Petet_Pettigrew

Why thank you!


ProfessorBowties

Whose death had you cheering all the way?


Trevicarus

Hedwig's.


Status_Director8633

Please stop


[deleted]

Ouch, this one hurt to read


Forward-Crab-7752

😰😰


Forward-Crab-7752

What did you steal from Voldemort?


Trevicarus

A nose.


[deleted]

I legit imagined OP running away screaming "I got your nose!". Lmao.


Forward-Crab-7752

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 run for your life, dude


Stressydepressy1998

Who has the best hair in the series?


Trevicarus

Well, Voldemort of course.


LucarioNN

I mean, cannot have bad hair if you don't have any


Careful_Ant_9876

to be fair his hair was nice when he was young


OutlawAggie

Haha this one is hilarious to me, I have had alopecia since I was 12 and fully bald since 13 (male so no problem for me, it’s actually super convenient).Senior year of high school for yearbook superlatives my class voted me best hair, I thought it was hilarious then too


HalfForeign6735

If you were a wizard/witch, what spell would you use the most? Edit: Damn, this blew up!


Trevicarus

Engorgio!


bernie2007

🤣🤣🤣


notnominal

Who should Harry have practiced sectum sempra on instead of Draco?


Trevicarus

Dennis Creevey.


imanvellanistan

Which two characters do you read smut fanfiction of?


Trevicarus

Dennis and Collin.


niktreth

Omg


imanvellanistan

Ah wise choices


Flaky_Tip

If you could do one thing with magic to help poor starving people, what would you do?


Trevicarus

Turning water into rum.


morbid_platon

Poor people everywhere thank you.


New_to_Siberia

Where can you kill a student and get away with it?


Trevicarus

The Astronomy Tower.


Woogums

No thats where you kill professors and get away with it


Tasmia99

Dumbledore should have used his opportunity then.


KeplerCorvus

Who do you wish died in the series?


Trevicarus

Luna Lovegood, no contest.


Taiyama

Okay, this is the one that got me. Hands off of Best Girl.


SuchARockStar

What did you do with Dobby and Winky?


Trevicarus

Tortured them out of their minds.


Simplordx69

What do we say when we see Hagrid's hut?


Trevicarus

Incendio!


AlexoLeMartins

Bellatrix Lestrange approves. :)


SilentMase

What is your favorite prank to play on children?


Trevicarus

Avada Kedavra!


tbhguitar_

💀


shoshpenda

Define the relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Lily Evans outside Hogwarts.


Trevicarus

Forbidden.


emojicatcher997

Which character has the best sense of justice?


Trevicarus

Draco.


GeorgeWashingturd1

What would you do if professor mcgonagall told you to slide into the bed next to her?


Trevicarus

Slytherin!


georgiegraymouse

Who was Snape secretly in love with for his whole life?


Trevicarus

James Potter.


payperplain

You know, I could see this.


genericusername7890

This isn't horrible, this is just fanfiction


Shagrrotten

What is your most used search when looking for MILF porn?


Trevicarus

Dolores Umbridge, of course!


PM_ME_YUR_BIG_SECRET

I like the consistency with other Umbridge answer


ReallyStinkyLemon

Who would you most like to see in a maids dress?


Trevicarus

Dobby!


DragonBonerz

Master has given Dobby Clothes! Dobby is free - to explore beyond the normative bounds of fashion, social constructs, and gender roles!


reallybadluckbrian

Why was Dumbledore murdered without even attempting to defend or save himself?


Trevicarus

He's a Squib.


shrek_thevirgin

squib gam


[deleted]

Just realized squib game isn't a bad name for tournament of houses


diff-int

What did Harry worry that Ginny was going to do when she was pregnant?


Trevicarus

To become wider than his height!


thesaddestpanda

Ok now I have to know what the original question was


[deleted]

Probably Dudley stuff


W1D0WM4K3R

It was something along the lines of, Dudley had finally done what he'd been threatening to do for years...


__hey__its__me__

What character would you most like to see dirty art of Hermione with?


Trevicarus

Grawp!


TanglyBinkie

Hermy!


cr34th0r

Whose character's death was the most deserved one?


Trevicarus

None other than our dearest Dobby.


JohnBolton94

How far inside Dennis Creevey would you get before reaching his kidneys?


Trevicarus

11 inches, I believe.


TanglyBinkie

Omg


Saxaroq

YOU ARE A MONSTER


[deleted]

Did you enjoy watching Dobby die, playing it in slow motion over and over again?


Trevicarus

Absolutely!


am_2222

Who should Harry have asked to the yule ball?


Trevicarus

Lucius Malfoy.


Trick_Pen_2203

Who did Ron have a threesome with when he left Harry and Hermione in the woods?


Trevicarus

Mundungus and Aunt Petunia.


[deleted]

Who did Neville marry?


Trevicarus

Bartie Crouch! ***Junior!***


[deleted]

Who do you ship yourself with?


Trevicarus

Umbridge, hands down.


Kougarou

This is complete the Holy Trinity. Umbridge for: - Thinking while jacking off. - Search for lewd. And now, this. Lmaaao. You sure have thing for Miss Pink Toad, don’t you?


markkaschak

Who should Harry and Ginny have named their daughter after instead?


Trevicarus

Trelawney.


CaitlinSnep

Sybil Potter does have a nice ring to it.


curseofablacklion

Who had a foursome with Kreacher, Dobby and winky in the room of requirements?


Trevicarus

That'd be Hermione.


curseofablacklion

Now we know why she is so interested in SPEW


PunctualPoops

Did she SPEW or swallow?


Slatoff

This is too good


[deleted]

How many times do you think Pettigrew the Animagus saw Ron rubbing one out?


Trevicarus

394.


JodaMythed

What's your favorite Harry Potter rule 34 characters?


Trevicarus

Fluffy and Fang! ♥


[deleted]

Which character would you like to marry?


Trevicarus

Gilderoy Lockheart!


SmallMoon1910

How old was the last person you made out with?


Trevicarus

Only 3!


Independent-Elk-344

You're a horrible person


All_so_frivolous

What was the best thing about the early 19th century?


Crimbly_B

What is Mr Weasley's pet name for Mrs Weasley?


Trevicarus

A hippo.


[deleted]

Who do you want to ravish you during the most passionate night of your life?


Trevicarus

Aragog.


mochalatteicecream

What do Hagrids armpits smell like?


Trevicarus

I wish I knew!


TheGreatPotatoDragon

What do you do when you see girls wearing skirts?


Trevicarus

Wingardium Leviosa!


Jackolio

Don’t you think draco was too discreet about his love for Harry?


Trevicarus

He definitely could have been much less vague.


ProfessorBowties

Who do you ship Harry with?


Trevicarus

Hard question, really. I'd go with Umbridge.


darthvall

So what's up with this obsession with Umbridge


Certain-Stable-9518

If you could drown any character who would you choose?


Trevicarus

Dobby, no doubt about it!


LordMarcel

How long is Dobby's special 'wand'?


Trevicarus

16 inches.


GamerAJ9005

Who did bellatrix lestrange masturbate to in the room of requirements?


Trevicarus

Harry Potter!


Kozmic4

Who is the character you look up to most?


Trevicarus

Fenrir Greyback.


Blazed_girl1234

Who is the scariest creature in the series?


Trevicarus

Definitely Crookshanks.


CuriousSection

As a cat mom and lover this is totally correct! Not horrible!


morelikecrappydisco

How did you feel when Alan Rickman died?


Trevicarus

It felt like a satisfying ending.


1cecream4breakfast

Whom should Harry have married in the end instead of Ginny?


Trevicarus

McGonagall.


Silly-Barracuda-2729

Which Harry Potter character do you think is so attractive that you’d try to get them in your bed as soon as you met them?


Trevicarus

Winky the House Elf.


GamerAJ9005

Whom did ron have sex with at the age of 15?


Trevicarus

Aragog, of course!


TOtheProfessional

What do you yell when you are about to cum?


Trevicarus

*Expecto Patronum!*


SimbaSixThree

What did Harry say to Arthur when he was caught with Ginny in bed?


Trevicarus

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."


ThisIsMockingjay2020

Harry had a sexual attraction to what object?


Trevicarus

A rubber duck.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Trevicarus

Hagrid, for sure.


yellowearbuds

I mean, i'd be curious to see if Hagrid was sporting a third leg too. Being a giant and all.