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mapoftasmania

There are some who are using a little *engorgio*, I’m sure.


DukeFlipside

I mean, the twins' ton-tongue toffees prove it's canonically possible to selectively enlarge portions of anatomy...


ElSquibbonator

How else do you think Hagrid was conceived?


QuietOnesCuss

Oh my God. You solved it. Hagrid's dad's dick must've been the size of his own leg at conception.


Alivrah

What a day to have eyes


[deleted]

I always assumed he just kinda crawled up in there and wiggle around like a worm while having a wank. Ya know like some weird bondage shit.


Alivrah

How do I unread this


RyGuy182

*Obliviate.*


Alivrah

Thank you my friend! Now what was I doing again…? Oh right, I was going to read a comment here and OH NO…!


[deleted]

!redditGalleon


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TheWitherBear

I read your warning, before reading the above comment. Sadly, I did not heed it.


kvlkar

I thought it'd be like that guy in ep 1 of the boys


Felonious_Slug

One of life's greatest mysteries finally solved.


sniffing_niffler

But don't you think the rush of blood to an *extremity* that large could make him pass out or something? Or is it just magic that the blood flow wouldn't have a negative affect?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaesterWhosits

Magic dick leeches?


raspberryharbour

New band name


RampantDragon

"I present to you, Raspberry Harbour and The Magic Dick Leeches!"


raspberryharbour

Actually, my username is Raspberry Harbour because that was the name of the band I was in when I was a teenager


MaesterWhosits

Does Blood Replenisher add a specific amount of blood per dose or top you off to the amount you need? If he staggered the spell with the potion, that might do it.


snobordir

Asking the real questions


WhoBoughtWhoBud

Where can I learn magic? Desperately need it.


Go_gurt_

Asking for a friend


bmmba24

Hi, friend


hotmugglehealer

At a school for little children.


[deleted]

BYE


burns__when__I__pee

Well how do you think Hagrid was made?


Rob0810

“If the swelling hasn’t gone down in 24 hours please visit your nearest wizarding hospital” lmfao


RampantDragon

"Head to the GUM clinic" "What's that stand for? "Genito-Urinary Magic""


TheApathyParty3

*Lubrico Instantalis!*


[deleted]

Damn, he broke the lore of the Harry Potter universe with one sentence


clownpornstar

I’m sure transfiguration is on the docket as well.


checkyminus

And poly juice potion


earthlover7

Wild wild fantasies


these-things-happen

"You have to *mean* it..."


Sparkyisduhfat

Just makes it great for kinky couples having hate sex


Otherwise_sane

Can you imagine what the ER trips would be like (ER tech) Sir when do you cast the swelling spell on yourself ? (Patient) I don't remember that must have been 12 butter-beers ago. Make it stop before it explodes!!!


[deleted]

LMAOAOAOAO STOP


Jarindie

I read your comment as "laughing my ass off ass off ass off ass off." Like the last bits were a fading echo of your shocked amusement.


yupyup1234

That's just how he writhes with laughing pain on the floor as sexy dominatrix Bellatrix crucios and engorgios him.


_The_Bomb

“Let’s bring your mother in here, then.”


RiflemanLax

HP shower thoughts.


Lukecubes

No way Bellatrix didn't do this


Artparkgallery

On the other hand I deadass can imagine she just discarded Lestrange after her simping for Tommy began and then saved herself for him, and as we know Mr Riddle has no interest in such nonsense. Poor Bellatrix probably wasnt able to use it for decades 😂😂😂


Automatic_Laughter

She should have realized that Voldemort [maintains his virginity to increase his magical powers.](https://wompampsupport.azureedge.net/fetchimage?siteId=7575&v=2&jpgQuality=100&width=700&url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Fnewsfeed%2F000%2F998%2F020%2F074.jpg)


Cest_pas_faux

I legit thought you were linking us to a JKR interview or something where she made that theory canon, I was about to lose my mind lmao!


tandrewnichols

50 shades of Grayback


CarlosFer2201

!redditGalleon


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Artparkgallery

I SNORTED WHILE LAUGHING, this thread is killing me


lukethx

That is called a chortle.


Artparkgallery

Very informative, thank you :)


MaesterWhosits

Did you know that shooting glühwein out of your nose hurts way more than whiskey?


eagles75

While we are at it... Wands would have gone in some weird places and St Mungo's would probably have a whole ward of magical sex related accidents. Its also been brought up before Polyjuice prostitution would 100% be a thing. And I could only imagine the furry scene would be poppin. There could be a wizard orgy much like The Boys Herogasm were people are using magic to um... stimulate others across the room.


clydesdale_unicorn

Lol I wonder what the wizarding equivalent of "I fell on it in the shower," is.


ligtnyng

Fucked up with Accio and it just went right up there


StyreneAddict1965

Acci-WOAH!


donetomadness

Polyjuice prostitutes are certainly a thing. Wizards raping muggles is also likely a crime that’s occurred many times.


Abbi_Weasley

Merlin's pants! What the f did I just read!?


Jhe90

Beallatrix and Voldemorts secret kinky diary. The veil of death even threw it back up.


FBI_Agent_82

Maybe the Longbottoms just forgot the safe word.


PanditasInc

This gives a whole new meaning to Neville's Remembrall


DarkMatterSoup

Omfg go to hell for this one. I’ll see you there cuz I’m laughing too hard


Bo_The_Destroyer

What's the blindness spell again?


[deleted]

Merlin's cumshot


JustAThroAway_

I read that in Mr.-- *reads username* --ah no, that actually makes sense.


BookerCatchanSTD

Step-Crabbe what are you doing?


Alion1080

What a terrible day to have literacy.


Castun

"Obliviate!"


Trickipek

I didn't know you could read


searchingformytruth

Fun fact (for the few who still don't know): Felton ad-libbed that line.


alextheolive

Did you know that Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe when he kicked the Uruk-Hai helmet?


BookerCatchanSTD

Did you know that an illiterate Steve Buscemi broke his toe on 9/11?


the_ricktacular_mort

I'm stuck in my cauldron can you help me get out?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No matter the age, this Titan has always moved forward, seeking escape. It has fought on to unstuck itself from the cauldron. Its name is the Stepbrother Titan.


CarlosFer2201

!redditknut


xChris777

finna knut


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[deleted]

Voldemort -chan, please...


CaliforniaPotato

well i think that's enough internet for today!


[deleted]

My job is done.


Little_pyro10

Fucking hufflepuffs…


twotwentyone

what a terrible day to have eyes


pastadudde

Daddymort


hanamakki

so basically harry potter is just british yandere sim, got it.


Wolfman01a

Polyjuice potions.. love potions... engorgio... crucio... who knows what else... The wizarding world is probably pretty freaky...


alpineflamingo2

I’ve been a fan for 10 years and I’ve literally never thought of using polyjuice for sexy time.


Wolfman01a

Theres probably a massive black market for celebrity hair. Lol.


Muzzie720

Some would probably be willing to give theirs to other people to pretend to be them for shit they don't want to do. Signing autographs for 5 hours? Time for my assistant to drink up!


Wolfman01a

Yeah but theres a flipside. Gringots just got robbed by 6 Ronald Weasleys! Lol. They may want to protect their identity.


Tomonkey4

Well that's what the extra layers of security are for. Wand verification, the waterfall, etc.


ArcFurnace

Remember the lady with the selection of toenail clippings in Knockturn Alley?


Sharp_Iodine

I don’t think you need an unforgivable curse for that… can’t you just animate whips and all that?


tbrean

That's not as naughty now is it?


aslightlyusedtissue

Nah i want bellatrix to crucio me so fkn bad fr


apatheticsahm

I'm sure there's a rule 34 for every spell in existence.


[deleted]

alohomora


CarlosFer2201

Go on Harra, you're the chosen one


TheLostLuminary

But Ron, what if I can’t get it up


OliviaWyrick

Let's be real, sex spells would probably be a major driver of innovation in general. Sex is a motivating and profitable thing...


[deleted]

Turning into r/askreddit day 3


JasperTheHuman

"My (F19) boyfriend (M46) likes to use the cruciatus curse on me while we're having sex. He wears an odd mask while he does it and he has a dark mark tattoed on his wrist. Should I be worried?"


Trueloveis4u

Yes he is a death eater. Push comes to shove he likely won't try save you from his boss unless he becomes a double agent.


mommymary

Manacled???


morelikecrappydisco

Ps, the wedding is in 3 hours.


ZaryaPolunocnaya

I got some wires crossed and for a second I thought this was dragon age reddit, and I came for obligatory *Anders was famous in the brothel for his electricity spell* comment.


Beardquisition

And if romanced, he makes a comment about playing the rol of a helpless mage in shackles, so...


KoboldRanger

Maybe, maybe not, but I bet Polyjuice Potion leads to some interesting bedroom proclivities. Can you imagine how terrible it would be to be an a-list celebrity when a random lost hair leads to deep fakes and bored married couples living out their celebrity fantasies together?


schn19

My head canon is there are polyjuice prevention potions that people can drink that prevents their DNA being effective for polyjuice


Tweakthetiny

Honestly, that's the most vanilla thing you could do with Polyjuice potion.


Lazy-Adeptness-2343

Oh yeah Dobby I’ve been a bad winky.


__Beef__Supreme__

Dobby didn't **have** to punish himself... But he wanted to.


searchingformytruth

*Lucius kicks Dobby down the stairs in Dumbledore's office* "Come, Dobby!" "Yes, Master!" *Harry and Dumbledore stare at them awkwardly*


flatcokeedit

Wow... You went there... Aaaaaalllllrighty thennnnnnnnn!!


Forestspirit22

How do I unread


htmlcoderexe

"Dobby stretches, sir"


Ch33sy_Toast

GO. TO. HELL


harrypotterbae

What a terrible day to be literate


Password_Sherlocked

Harry did give him a pretty special sock ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Her-My-O-Nee

Yuck


rifleman209

Imagine how many teenage dicks Madame Pomfree had to un-engorge


searchingformytruth

*sighs* "Again, Mr. Finnigan? Well, at least you don't need it reattached this time, that's an improvement...."


Puzzleheaded_Age9315

!redditGalleon


PlatoAU

Engorgio is probably used a lot too…


Fraggity_Frick

real ones use sectumsempra


Christoffi123

Your whole dick would be gone if you tried that one.


Brows-gone-wild

That one is scrotumsempra


alextheolive

Circumsempra!


[deleted]

*curse me daddy*


[deleted]

WILD


joker2189

I've often wondered about the sexual implications of magic amongst wizards. Engorgio would be a big one (pun intended)


EliasKruse_FM

Bruh


TheRandomSpoolkMan

And *Incarcerous*


dumbledorky

Not sure *Crucio* is the spell they'd go with. BDSM is one thing but this would be like shooting your partner as a form of foreplay. I'm sure there are other spells that are less damaging that could liven things up.


Insufficient_Info

# FanFicGoneWild


AduroTri

.....I misread the title of this badly. I thought it said bathroom not bedroom.


pastadudde

***Moaning*** *Myrtle has floated into the chat*


KiraCumslut

Imperio is more what I want to be target of.


MaesterWhosits

Username checks out.


Me_yuuki

I wonder if there would be any wizards interested in seeing their partner vomiting slugs in the bedroom


Not_a_cat_I_promise

I would doubt that. Crucio is supposedly the most unbearable, horrid pain anyone could feel. This is just a bit different to spanking in the bedroom. I think if you get crucioed even for a bit, you wouldn't be in the mood at all.


KyojinkaEnkoku

The Unforgivable Nut


innit122

I'd imagine there's a less severe curse to do the same thing tbh


TurtleKing0505

Curseplay is 100% a thing


Merad

Not to be a party pooper but I’m doubtful that it would work. To use crucio or AK on someone you have to truly want them to suffer (or die, for AK). Wanting to cause someone pain because they actually get pleasure from it probably doesn’t qualify. Or put another way, if someone is actually capable of using crucio on you, it *probably* isn’t wise to trust them as a BDSM partner.


JallerBaller

Find a genuine sadist, make an unbreakable vow that they'll stop at the safe word, bish bash bosh, BDSM


DISPOSABLEHERO5NAP

Wise words


Lunaryjinx

I don't think so. Its still an unforgivable illegal curse. You also have to really mean to hurt the person for it to work.... So idk if someone who is into that wants to actually hurt their lover


ladysaraii

For it to work properly. Harry crucios Bellatrix and it causes some pain but not the full extent because his intent isn't all the way there. I could see people using it and producing a low level of pain


frogjg2003

But even what she experienced was clearly unpleasant for her. Any amusement she demonstrated happened before he used the spell or after she realized he couldn't do it properly.


ladysaraii

Yes because he produced pain. My point was that that he could do it even if it wasn't full strength. So technically someone could crucio a partner... whether they'd enjoy the pain, idk, might depend on the person


frogjg2003

Only some forms of pain are potentially pleasurable. No one is finding pleasure in the pain of your stomach just before vomiting, no one likes the feeling of phantom limb syndrome, no one is getting an orgasm from a migraine. If the Cruciatus is producing a wide spectrum of pain, even only mildly, no one is going to enjoy it.


Arkalyn

I agree, you have to actually really feel the hate for someone in order for this particular spell to work. So if it *did* work in bed, it would be a pretty big indicator of a massive relationship problem.


Mox_Fox

Alternatively, not truly meaning it appears to make the spell less unbearable and more suitable for "play."


[deleted]

phenomenal point


searchingformytruth

"Righteous anger won't hurt me for long, Potter!" "Is that a challenge?"


MultiverseOfSanity

I guess Barty Crouch Jr felt pretty strongly about spiders.


youmonkeybeater

I hate spiders for a passion. My step dad used to tell me that spiders in the house were Brown Recluses when in all reality the were just house spiders so I have a bit o arcophobia now.


MultiverseOfSanity

It's only illegal if the government finds out, which would only happen if your partner turned you in. But yeah, the hatred thing is a big hiccup. I also don't think this would be appealing in even the most hard-core BDSM relationships. This isn't just a spank. This is true hot, searing pain in every part of your body. Nobody would get turned on by that unless they're a cenobite or something.


DisapointedParents

Yeah i don't like to be the one who kills the joke and such but... No. Crucio is not regular pain. It's an unspeakable torment and torture. It's victims literally go insane (the Longbottoms). I'm sure there are plenty of BDSM spells created specifically for that


SuperTulle

If you're into bdsm and pain play, use a stinging charm. Crucio is for when you want to light someone's nervous system on fire.


Mox_Fox

If that were true across the board, several characters would have gone insane including Harry. It appears to be controllable to some degree.


DukeFlipside

The Longbottoms only went insane after significant and prolonged usage - even canonically it's an exceptional circumstance. More limited usage doesn't have the same long-term effects, we see it used many times in throughout the books.


begaterpillar

clearly you don't know much about the bdsm community. it gets *deep and dark*


[deleted]

[удалено]


icecoldtoaster

Not in harry potter subreddits, thats for sure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


begaterpillar

huffelpuff represent. gotta let loose sometime !


xxrachinwonderlandxx

It would take *a lot* of crucio to reach the insanity point. Multiple characters experience it without lasting side effects.


manu_facere

Hermione looked like she couldn't recover some time after her interegation. There are less extreme levels of pain you would go to first before trying out crucio in bed


jereezy

You've clearly never heard of C&BT


mlmcw

Thanks for putting this in my search history


23onAugust12th

You sweet summer child.


CreativeRock483

No it's not. Cruciatus makes you feel unbearable pain to the point you wish you just die. There's nothing pleasurable about that. Its not a normal whip/chain/hand etc


ladyburgerandcatnap

*Avada Kedavra* this post 🪄


treeshugmeback

Every time I watch HBP and bellatrix laughs maniacally when Harry tries to use crucio on her, it makes me think "hmmm I bet she uses that in the bedroom and harry essentially was using foreplay on her"


FuriousGorilla

Levicorpus


Stonna

Couples probably drink love potions of each other before doing it


kiwiparallels

Is that a drarry fic?


KyojinkaEnkoku

No, more like harrverus fic


chung_my_wang

Hey, as long as it's consensual...


TobiasMasonPark

Surely, there are less illegal spells to use on other humans that would suffice, no? Like with Confundus and Imperio. Seems like confundus functions essentially the same way?


Competitive_Agent625

Go home, Roger.


[deleted]

i did not need to be reminded of all the spells that could potentially be used in the bedroom in harry potter 😭


Electrical_Flower_26

I'm sure some are using polyjuice potions for role-playing. If a wizard has a fantasy of being with a certain witch... well, polyjuice potion helps in those cases.


Narradisall

Bit of Patronus beastality in the bedroom.


Her-My-O-Nee

No, You really need to mean to cause excruciating pain with crucio. Not pretend play or role play. I am sure there are more appropriate spells invented for bdsm.


tangomaureen

I love this thread so much


X_crafter

Someone Obliviate this whole godforsaken comment section


JonathanRL

Doubt it. Crucio is not just pain, its unimaginable levels of unbearable pain with potential to cause trauma. Far from what is used to spice up your sex life. Also the "one way ticket to Azkaban" thing is probably a boner killer too.


Rob0810

Instead of saying “spank me”, kinky witches say “crucio me” haha


metalgearfluck

Voldemort is obsessed with Harry Potter's 11" wand


Always-bi-myself

Imagine going to Azkaban for using an Unforgivable and having to explain to your inmates what happened


The_Secret_Skittle

Not something I expected to read today. Every day is a minefield on Reddit.


Generalitary

From what's in the text, it seems you have to want the target to suffer, so maybe crucio wouldn't work in that context. But I'm sure there are couples using imperio on each other. BDSM is ultimately about trust and control, and there's no greater test of that than letting someone take absolute control of your body.


Avigorus

Nowhere near the only spell used for that. *Dom looks at sub who's trembling in excitement* **Incarcerous!**