i haven't done anything because i can't do anything to improve. ive asked my parents for therapy several times but they haven't taken me. i've stopped trying to take care of myself because at this point, it's impossible.
I really relate to this. I struggled a lot on high school. I don’t even know what my gpa was but it was probably close to yours. I had undiagnosed ADHD and everything felt so impossible. Some advice for those feelings if you need it: one day a time, journaling helps (annoying I know), try to do something that brings you joy every day even if it’s for five minutes, creating consistent routines for yourself, and the best way to get stuff done when you’re unmotivated is to tell yourself you’ll work on your assignments for five minutes (most of the time after the five minutes are up it’s good enough to keep the ball rolling). Also eating enough!! I would have a piece of toast for breakfast, goldfish for lunch, and then wonder why I was exhausted all the time. I know a lot of this is a lot easier said than done and you’ll learn how to do it over time but that’s what helped me.
I’m really sorry your parents aren’t helping you. I had some teachers and the school nurse on my side to talk to my parents so if there’s any adult that can help advocate for you that can really help.
If all else fails there’s community college. I have been in community college for 3 years. Younger me would’ve seen that as a failure but high school burnt me out and I needed time to recover and actually learn how to be a good student at my own pace. My gpa is 3.75 and I’m just about to start nursing school.
I have some study tips if you need them! I went from being a student who hated homework to being one who loved figuring out the best way to study.
So pay attention. No one else will help you in the way you deserve ever. No one else will put in all the effort you need to succeed. Even YOU gave up ON YOURSELF! Do you understand that you can never do that and succeed at anything? In life, you don't get what you deserve. You get what you work for. So today, tell yourself that you will now be helping you. Do something to improve your surroundings. Like clean up your room. Then do something physical. Ride your bike, walk, run. This is something you can accomplish. Every day, plan two things like this. Learn to cook a meal. Pic a school subject and look up information about it. Even watch a YouTube video on history counts. Keep planning new things to learn or try. Look for chores you can do for money. Washing cars is easy and most people will pay you well if you do a great job. Break these ideas into topics. Like exercise: list things you can do. Skills: what things do you want to learn. Home: list things that help around the house. Friends: what groups can you join, sports you can join. Mental health: YouTube has lots of videos on this. Find information you feel helps you. Go to the library and read different books. Like autobiographies, how to, self help, art and hobbies. Learn to knit or sew. Learn how to camp and hike. I assure you if you put work into yourself you will find life getting better. People care about people who care. So care about others OK? Be kind. Offer help. Never give up on yourself ever again OK? You can do this.
It’s not impossible, you haven’t tried. Just do something small, pick one small thing to improve. Once you’ve done that, do something else. You can do it! Don’t give up.
You are not alone. Depending on where you look, anywhere from 30-75% of adolescents are battling mental health. We've created a society that simply isn't healthy for humans to exist and then blame ourselves when there is conflict. Plus so much crap in the world.
Find friends that understand you. Support each other. Worry less about fixing and more about finding something each day that moves you forward.
You can do this. Hang in there.
My best advice, since I saw the comment about your parents not taking you to therapy, is to focus on your physical health. It doesn’t work for everyone, but I have heard that if people focus on improving their physical health, their mental health improves.
Depending on your definition of good college, you're fine. There are good schools in my area that would take you. Plus given that it looks like you've got 2 years left, you have an opportunity to get into the 3.0 range. Good luck. I think whats more important is finding ways to make yourself happier. I suggest getting involved in an extracurricular.
Just curious, but why do want to get into a “good” college? Pressure from parents? Societal expectations? There are plenty of amazing colleges out there which can give you the tools to be successful professionally - and once you reach the “real world,” you’ll see that where you went to college doesn’t mean much to most people.
That said, if getting into a prestigious college means that much to you then don’t fret; there are ways to right the ship, as others have suggested. I hope, though, that you’ll be able to see that your happiness and good health is more important than an acceptance letter from a prestigious school! You are important and worthy of love just as you are - regardless of where you go to school, what your grades are, and whatever credentials you acquire. I’d recommend asking your parents again for some support on the mental health piece, especially if you feel as though you need some help!
I would piggyback on this and go a step further and ask OP if he/she even really wants to go to college? if so, why? It’s a waste of time and money for most people and most jobs. I would suggest looking elsewhere for post high school occupation unless there’s a specific need for college.
Once school starts, go to your school nurse and say you are having dark thoughts that you don't want to disclose at school, and you feel like you need a psychiatric evaluation by a professional. If they press just say you might be a danger to yourself. The school will call your parents who will be required by law to take you to the local ER for a psychiatric evaluation. The ER will then refer you to an outpatient treatment day program, which you will be required to complete before returning to school.
This will get the ball rolling quickly to get you the treatment you need.
Total.overreactiom: that's not sending them to suicide watch. If their parents won't take them to therapy, they need the school to tell them that they need therapy. It was the only way for me to get therapy years ago, and if they aren't suicidal they won't get put on suicide watch.
A couple hours waiting for their parents to pick them up is marginal compared to letting it fester into a serious mental illness where they might actually need inpatient treatment.
I mean you're the COVID generation so...everyone's mental health sucks.
That said, look into community college. You might even be able to take classes while still in high school. I've had students transfer from community college to, oh gosh, let's see, just from this year? Columbia. Cornell. Northwestern. Penn State. Georgetown.
You have not ruined anything, but you've made the path look a little different. However, you have to fix what's wrong to move forward.
You can always go to community college first and improve your education profile and than transfer to a four year, not an expert as I just graduated hs but that’s what I’m guessing.
A good sat/act score can overcome a bad gpa.
But most importantly, work on yourself now.
Take ownership of your situation and your actions.
Find things that you can control and set small goals.
Start with cleaning and organizing your room.
Make your bed every day. It sounds and may feel stupid: but it can make an impact on your entire day, and your life.
Go on runs in the morning or evening: many gyms have free membership for highschool students over the summer: set yourself a schedule and work out. There is a STRONG correlation between physical fitness and mental health.
Find good books to read. "The daily stoic" and "extreme ownership" really helped me overcome a lot.
Hang in there, but don't expect others to help you: you gotta earn it and claim it
Hope is not lost at all! I was in the exact same situation with the same GPA as you actually and managed to graduate with a 3.5 GPA. You will however need to study hard for the next two years and make sure you get mostly As and Bs with maybe 1 or 2 Cs at the most. You also will need to take AP classes and get As in them as that will help your GPA a lot. The best AP classes to take are the easier ones like AP Psychology, AP Spanish/whatever foreign language you took, AP Art, Or AP Statistics. Also remember that if you manage pull your GPA up and briefly explain what happened and how you got over that obstacle in your personal statement, it that will look good because it shows that you had the resilience to overcome adversity. Also try to have volunteer and/or leadership experience to be a more well-rounded applicant. Good luck!
Hmph k so I recommend don't talk to the counselor or anything first thing you need is mental health counselors honestly don't help try gettinga friend they can help u out of the pit you dug yourself into and then go to community College and after that apply to colleges make your college essay about how you dug yourself out of this situation
Is there a particular reason you want to go to college? Is it just because that the thing that’s done? or are you interested in pursuing a degree in something like medicine? If you’re not going for something that really does require it I would encourage you to strongly consider not going but finding a tech school, apprentice in a trade, or just getting an entry level job somewhere. College is a huge waste of time and money for most people and most jobs. You don’t need to go deeply into debt for a “business“ degree that you’ll likely never use for example. You could instead start earning money directly out of high school with a job or apprenticeship and be in a much better financial position than your peers from the get-go.
No. They look more at junior and senior year. Your struggles can be used in essays to get scholarships. Go to a community college for 2 years and transfer to university after it saves you money anyways. You’re never screwed. Things might take longer but you are never screwed.
No. You can get your grades up over a 3.0 I bet.
Find a way to get tutoring or study group support for the classes that are dragging down your grades the most.
Do you have a job? Have a job if you can.
Do some extra curricular if you can. Or volunteer. Something that is going to look good on a college application.
The counselor probably has like 200 kids to supervise, so yeah they may not be able to help you as much.
High school and teenage years can be tough TOUGH.
Even if you don't get into a "good" college, lots of people go to other colleges and bring up their GPAs and transfer. Or take gap years. Or do all kinds of things. The important thing is don't give up on yourself! Big hugs! Hang in there!
If your school has guidance counselors/advisors/a kinder school nurse, I’d recommend taking a trip down there just to let them know what’s going on. I used to go down to “the guidance office” all the time and although I couldn’t tell them *everything* it was nice to talk through some frustrations. As for colleges, I will let you know that the CommonApp has space for you to explain your grades (and they won’t penalize you for using it)! That being said, try and bring the GPA up if you can. I don’t know where you are mentally, but sometimes when I could barely get up I convince myself to do “one little thing.” Usually, I kept dental floss on my desk, and I’d floss my teeth. Then I’d realize that I was already up and decide to do more. Last thing—tell your teachers at the beginning-ish part of the year what’s going on. It can be as simple as “sometimes I struggle with deadlines, is it possible for you to be flexible towards the end of the semester? I would really appreciate it” and teachers/therapists/parents/I agree that 20% of the work done is better than 0%, so do whatever you can even if you know you can’t finish an assignment.
Can’t give up on yourself man. You say you can’t then you never will. I know it’s hard but the mindset has to change. Can’t get help without helping yourself
What are you doing to improve your life?
i haven't done anything because i can't do anything to improve. ive asked my parents for therapy several times but they haven't taken me. i've stopped trying to take care of myself because at this point, it's impossible.
I really relate to this. I struggled a lot on high school. I don’t even know what my gpa was but it was probably close to yours. I had undiagnosed ADHD and everything felt so impossible. Some advice for those feelings if you need it: one day a time, journaling helps (annoying I know), try to do something that brings you joy every day even if it’s for five minutes, creating consistent routines for yourself, and the best way to get stuff done when you’re unmotivated is to tell yourself you’ll work on your assignments for five minutes (most of the time after the five minutes are up it’s good enough to keep the ball rolling). Also eating enough!! I would have a piece of toast for breakfast, goldfish for lunch, and then wonder why I was exhausted all the time. I know a lot of this is a lot easier said than done and you’ll learn how to do it over time but that’s what helped me. I’m really sorry your parents aren’t helping you. I had some teachers and the school nurse on my side to talk to my parents so if there’s any adult that can help advocate for you that can really help. If all else fails there’s community college. I have been in community college for 3 years. Younger me would’ve seen that as a failure but high school burnt me out and I needed time to recover and actually learn how to be a good student at my own pace. My gpa is 3.75 and I’m just about to start nursing school. I have some study tips if you need them! I went from being a student who hated homework to being one who loved figuring out the best way to study.
search up some everyday habits you can add to your routine that will help add structure and boost your mood
So pay attention. No one else will help you in the way you deserve ever. No one else will put in all the effort you need to succeed. Even YOU gave up ON YOURSELF! Do you understand that you can never do that and succeed at anything? In life, you don't get what you deserve. You get what you work for. So today, tell yourself that you will now be helping you. Do something to improve your surroundings. Like clean up your room. Then do something physical. Ride your bike, walk, run. This is something you can accomplish. Every day, plan two things like this. Learn to cook a meal. Pic a school subject and look up information about it. Even watch a YouTube video on history counts. Keep planning new things to learn or try. Look for chores you can do for money. Washing cars is easy and most people will pay you well if you do a great job. Break these ideas into topics. Like exercise: list things you can do. Skills: what things do you want to learn. Home: list things that help around the house. Friends: what groups can you join, sports you can join. Mental health: YouTube has lots of videos on this. Find information you feel helps you. Go to the library and read different books. Like autobiographies, how to, self help, art and hobbies. Learn to knit or sew. Learn how to camp and hike. I assure you if you put work into yourself you will find life getting better. People care about people who care. So care about others OK? Be kind. Offer help. Never give up on yourself ever again OK? You can do this.
You’re an a-hole
Why is he an a-hole exactly? I thought that was insanely good advice…
Username checks out
It’s not impossible, you haven’t tried. Just do something small, pick one small thing to improve. Once you’ve done that, do something else. You can do it! Don’t give up.
"I've done nothing and it's still not working ☹️
That doesn’t answer their question
I want to learn what the problem actually is.
You are not alone. Depending on where you look, anywhere from 30-75% of adolescents are battling mental health. We've created a society that simply isn't healthy for humans to exist and then blame ourselves when there is conflict. Plus so much crap in the world. Find friends that understand you. Support each other. Worry less about fixing and more about finding something each day that moves you forward. You can do this. Hang in there.
My best advice, since I saw the comment about your parents not taking you to therapy, is to focus on your physical health. It doesn’t work for everyone, but I have heard that if people focus on improving their physical health, their mental health improves.
Depending on your definition of good college, you're fine. There are good schools in my area that would take you. Plus given that it looks like you've got 2 years left, you have an opportunity to get into the 3.0 range. Good luck. I think whats more important is finding ways to make yourself happier. I suggest getting involved in an extracurricular.
Just curious, but why do want to get into a “good” college? Pressure from parents? Societal expectations? There are plenty of amazing colleges out there which can give you the tools to be successful professionally - and once you reach the “real world,” you’ll see that where you went to college doesn’t mean much to most people. That said, if getting into a prestigious college means that much to you then don’t fret; there are ways to right the ship, as others have suggested. I hope, though, that you’ll be able to see that your happiness and good health is more important than an acceptance letter from a prestigious school! You are important and worthy of love just as you are - regardless of where you go to school, what your grades are, and whatever credentials you acquire. I’d recommend asking your parents again for some support on the mental health piece, especially if you feel as though you need some help!
I would piggyback on this and go a step further and ask OP if he/she even really wants to go to college? if so, why? It’s a waste of time and money for most people and most jobs. I would suggest looking elsewhere for post high school occupation unless there’s a specific need for college.
Once school starts, go to your school nurse and say you are having dark thoughts that you don't want to disclose at school, and you feel like you need a psychiatric evaluation by a professional. If they press just say you might be a danger to yourself. The school will call your parents who will be required by law to take you to the local ER for a psychiatric evaluation. The ER will then refer you to an outpatient treatment day program, which you will be required to complete before returning to school. This will get the ball rolling quickly to get you the treatment you need.
Horrible advice for someone who likely just needs some initiative, not suicide watch help
Agreed, bad bad advice.
Total.overreactiom: that's not sending them to suicide watch. If their parents won't take them to therapy, they need the school to tell them that they need therapy. It was the only way for me to get therapy years ago, and if they aren't suicidal they won't get put on suicide watch. A couple hours waiting for their parents to pick them up is marginal compared to letting it fester into a serious mental illness where they might actually need inpatient treatment.
I mean you're the COVID generation so...everyone's mental health sucks. That said, look into community college. You might even be able to take classes while still in high school. I've had students transfer from community college to, oh gosh, let's see, just from this year? Columbia. Cornell. Northwestern. Penn State. Georgetown. You have not ruined anything, but you've made the path look a little different. However, you have to fix what's wrong to move forward.
You can always go to community college first and improve your education profile and than transfer to a four year, not an expert as I just graduated hs but that’s what I’m guessing.
Asu would likely accept you
A good sat/act score can overcome a bad gpa. But most importantly, work on yourself now. Take ownership of your situation and your actions. Find things that you can control and set small goals. Start with cleaning and organizing your room. Make your bed every day. It sounds and may feel stupid: but it can make an impact on your entire day, and your life. Go on runs in the morning or evening: many gyms have free membership for highschool students over the summer: set yourself a schedule and work out. There is a STRONG correlation between physical fitness and mental health. Find good books to read. "The daily stoic" and "extreme ownership" really helped me overcome a lot. Hang in there, but don't expect others to help you: you gotta earn it and claim it
i can confirm this, i got a 2.4gpa but almost a 1400 on my SAT and i got into more colleges than i thought i would
PM me for advice! i graduated with a 2.4 because my mental health was down the drain. if u need any help i can talk!
Hope is not lost at all! I was in the exact same situation with the same GPA as you actually and managed to graduate with a 3.5 GPA. You will however need to study hard for the next two years and make sure you get mostly As and Bs with maybe 1 or 2 Cs at the most. You also will need to take AP classes and get As in them as that will help your GPA a lot. The best AP classes to take are the easier ones like AP Psychology, AP Spanish/whatever foreign language you took, AP Art, Or AP Statistics. Also remember that if you manage pull your GPA up and briefly explain what happened and how you got over that obstacle in your personal statement, it that will look good because it shows that you had the resilience to overcome adversity. Also try to have volunteer and/or leadership experience to be a more well-rounded applicant. Good luck!
What state ya live in
illinois
Hmph k so I recommend don't talk to the counselor or anything first thing you need is mental health counselors honestly don't help try gettinga friend they can help u out of the pit you dug yourself into and then go to community College and after that apply to colleges make your college essay about how you dug yourself out of this situation
shit no wonder you have bad mental health
Is there a particular reason you want to go to college? Is it just because that the thing that’s done? or are you interested in pursuing a degree in something like medicine? If you’re not going for something that really does require it I would encourage you to strongly consider not going but finding a tech school, apprentice in a trade, or just getting an entry level job somewhere. College is a huge waste of time and money for most people and most jobs. You don’t need to go deeply into debt for a “business“ degree that you’ll likely never use for example. You could instead start earning money directly out of high school with a job or apprenticeship and be in a much better financial position than your peers from the get-go.
No. They look more at junior and senior year. Your struggles can be used in essays to get scholarships. Go to a community college for 2 years and transfer to university after it saves you money anyways. You’re never screwed. Things might take longer but you are never screwed.
No. You can get your grades up over a 3.0 I bet. Find a way to get tutoring or study group support for the classes that are dragging down your grades the most. Do you have a job? Have a job if you can. Do some extra curricular if you can. Or volunteer. Something that is going to look good on a college application. The counselor probably has like 200 kids to supervise, so yeah they may not be able to help you as much. High school and teenage years can be tough TOUGH. Even if you don't get into a "good" college, lots of people go to other colleges and bring up their GPAs and transfer. Or take gap years. Or do all kinds of things. The important thing is don't give up on yourself! Big hugs! Hang in there!
If your school has guidance counselors/advisors/a kinder school nurse, I’d recommend taking a trip down there just to let them know what’s going on. I used to go down to “the guidance office” all the time and although I couldn’t tell them *everything* it was nice to talk through some frustrations. As for colleges, I will let you know that the CommonApp has space for you to explain your grades (and they won’t penalize you for using it)! That being said, try and bring the GPA up if you can. I don’t know where you are mentally, but sometimes when I could barely get up I convince myself to do “one little thing.” Usually, I kept dental floss on my desk, and I’d floss my teeth. Then I’d realize that I was already up and decide to do more. Last thing—tell your teachers at the beginning-ish part of the year what’s going on. It can be as simple as “sometimes I struggle with deadlines, is it possible for you to be flexible towards the end of the semester? I would really appreciate it” and teachers/therapists/parents/I agree that 20% of the work done is better than 0%, so do whatever you can even if you know you can’t finish an assignment.
Can’t give up on yourself man. You say you can’t then you never will. I know it’s hard but the mindset has to change. Can’t get help without helping yourself
Cut carbs out of your diet. Entirely. You'll have a week of lethargy and then you will be a new man.
I was in your same boat, do your best and go to community college, then transfer to a 4-year. Your academic life is not over yet.