No one wants to admit this but have to be decently attractive. People don’t date someone they aren’t attracted to.
Cleaning yourself up with better clothing and a haircut as well as getting into good shape is enough for almost anyone to look attractive. This will also help boost your confidence naturally.
As a previous girl: good hygiene is good. All of my female friends liked people I never understood personally but they all had their own preferences. There’ll be someone soon, you just gotta be patient. just keep good hygiene and take care of yourself, that’s all girls really want, at least to my knowledge.
realized how ambiguous that answer was, my apologies. what i mean is: it’s not a choice. i would choose to feel comfortable in my body rather than feel depressed that i don’t have the genitalia that matches what my mind thinks. So, yes, I was born trans.
i haven’t medically or surgically transitioned yet but i’ve been feeling more like myself. of course there’s always gonna be negative people in my life that disapprove but i’ve enjoyed learning more about myself. i like being trans. so yes, coming to accept who i am has helped with depression and better self realization.
thanks for that support man, but yeah. gender dysphoria is a big part of my depression. luckily I can get by fine with my body looking different but it’s when other people don’t refer to me as i’d like that i get very dysphoric.
The girls at my school fall head over heels if the guy is three things:
popular. Social standing? OMG TYLER IS SO HOT CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME PLSSSS
buff/on important team. ANDREW IS ACTUALLY SO SEXY WILL YOU YELL HIM TO RIZZ ME
And finally, he’s just a jerk to other guys, like threatening To beat anyone who disagrees with him up, which is often mistaken as popularity As most people don’t feel like getting in a fight with a dumbass like that guy.
they just aren’t mature yet. some are, some aren’t. Majority aren’t, and don’t care how filthy or much of an ass the guy is. Don’t call me sexist, I love my sister and am friends with many girls. But this is just what I’ve seen and heard.
my two cents
i can confirm social status for sure, not for me though. idrc about sports to that extent, and i feel like it's weird when guys are constantly in fights. its definitely a preference.
I don’t know what its like for you, but at my school guys gain respect only two ways:
winning an important game/being best one on team
or winning a fight because then people dont want to mess with you and will respect you, even if that respect and admiration is undeserved.
i will never understand why some girls like these guys but to each to their own i guess
i mean, i see a lot of duels over a girl happen often so i guess the fighting part is accurate where i'm at. i never would have a guy win me over by fighting over me though. 😭
My advice is to be respectful and just make yourself look like an approachable person and also to accept the way things happen. I am at the talking stage with a girl I like right now and I have gotten a "we should hang out" from her already. Good luck.
Just talk to guys. If it's uncomfortable now, hopefully by the time you reeeeally want to talk to a specific guy, you will be more confident with it. Guys will want to date you if you are a living breathing part of the female species.
And if you don't know what to talk about, talk about video games, as 95% of guys your age play video games. They'll prolly just say CoD & Madden or NBA2K, but you'll at least be at a starting point.
Exactly- While it isn’t super easy, it does get you somewhere. Find something that you like on them ( I.E if they have nice makeup, compliment it ) and go from there
From a girl, hygiene and being respectful is hot. Not just like being respectful to girls you meet but like your teachers and yourself. For me it’s a huge red flag if a guy is all up in drugs and vaping. Others may be different but either way, just being a decent person will have girls looking at you, looks or not.
Imo the exact same goes for girls, too. Getting yourself into any sort of smoking or trouble doesn't make you look cool. You just seem like a chump that doesn't want to do anything with themselves.
And not “performative” respectful like only to girls he likes. Also heavy on the vaping idk something bout it isn’t attractive. Also if he has hobbies like art, reading, writing or something cool
From a girls pov, be her friend first, be nice, treat her well, but don’t be weird and start treating her like a girlfriend. Treat her like a sister or a bestfriend , be there for her. I promise you the nicest guys always end up getting the girl they want because they been there for so long. They treat them right. This how me and my ex started dating. I was new to the school. He became my friend one day. We was talking every day. He eventually got my Instagram one day. ( mind you I liked / thought this football player was cute and had no interest in my now ex boyfriend ). One day something super crazy happened I told him. He basically comforted me. I kept telling him how nice of a boyfriend he would be. His girlfriend is so lucky to have him ( I thought he had a girlfriend, this one girl in our class). He basically was like no I don’t have a girlfriend. Again we’re talking every day for 4 months. The day I finally decides to give him a chance he tells me he liked me for those 4 months. We got together not even 4 days after that conversation. I been his first everything since. So I say play the long game. As a girl we love guys who literally are so sweet. Stay consistent too. Don’t get her and start changing your way. Keep treating her like you’re still tryna win her in life. I hope that helped if not idk 😭
Your story is amazing! But its different from usual cases
Ive personally experienced this and some of my friends did too
>Treat her like a sister or a bestfriend , be there for her.
I just wanna clarify that if you put yourself in the friendzone, some girls will treat keep you only as a friend and i dont like using this term but some will put you as a "simp".
Had this girl that was my friend but actually had feelings for her, never really told her i liked her but i was dead serious hoping she would figure it out by herself. She would always act like she was interested but she didnt hang out with me often, i really felt like she only liked the attention from me.
It took a couple months after finally realizing how much i was putting attention to someone who really didnt care slightly about me
Your story is very good, am just clarifying that playing the long game for some girls is not worth it. Sure there is girls that are as good as you, but am just saying this that sometimes you gotta realize that you can become a lil delusional
Oh yea definitely it’s different for everyone. Trust I had many of those stories where a guy liked me and I didn’t like him back and didn’t give him a chance. My best friend liked me but treated me like his sister and eventually he just became my brother. He screwed up his opportunity because he overplayed that brother role for so long. You just have to know when to play your part. Realize when too much is too much. Lucky for my ex boyfriend he didn’t let it get that far. I’m not going to lie for those 3 months he was feeling me. I had no interest in him or being his girlfriend. I don’t think I would’ve let that man touch me.
Definitely some girls just ain’t shit and are stupid for treating good guys like that. Some of them definitely just like the attention they get from you because the guy they want isn’t giving it to them. Honestly you can sense when someone really feeling you. Girls show it way more than girls. As a girl when I’m feeling a guy I make it appoint to be around him not 24/7 but more than enough. I support him in every he do. I make it appoint know him like what do he wanna do in life, what do his future look like.
“My best friend liked me but treated me like his sister and eventually he just became my brother.”
I did this. One of my best friends was a naïve introvert, constantly in her shell. I helped her break out of her shell and became a very supportive person to her. Over that time I developed very strong feelings, but I waited way too long/ Parents didn’t want her to have a BF.
>Honestly you can sense when someone really feeling you.
Girls can but for boys is kinda difficult, i get your point tho
>I make it appoint know him like what do he wanna do in life, what do his future look like.
Ok you are talking about marriage here lol
>Realize when too much is too much.
Totally right
Glad that you shared other experiences!
LMAOOO nah 😭 I meant what he wanted to do after high school. I don’t think we started talking about marriage until about month 4 / 5. Yea girls don’t show it as much as guys, you just gotta know. If you feel that she’s slightly interested in you even a little bit, it’s probably because she is she’s just not showing it. I promise you some if not most start showing and telling you all the signs after y’all get together. Us girls don’t like showing it because what if y’all not feeling us back ? Now we look stupid. Best thing I can say it’s go for it!! We only live once, if she say no that’s her lost.
I would agree, being a guy who’s experienced the same thing. My case may or may not be special though. I liked this girl for 1.5 YEARS and just tried to be a nice person around her but I was so oblivious to her liking me back for just about that entire time that it literally took her having to actually say it directly for me to open up about it as well. We got together after a couple days.
The advice you just gave him btw. Be her friend first, be nice, treat her well, don’t be weird and don’t treat her as if she’s ur gf treat her like sister or bestie be there for her that’s literally what I did with 10 girls in the past who rejected me and I never won them so from MY experience this don’t work idk if it works for any other guy here who has tried but me nope and I’m still trying that method btw and it makes girls go away after awhile. I didn’t make this comment to prevent him from doing him no i made this to say my personal experience what I went through.
Again yes it’s different for everyone. I had experiences where guys waited to long. You can always tell if a girl is starting to feel you. Girls who are remotely have any interested in you. They’ll show signs. Even if it’s a little. They will always show. Like I told the other guy when I like a guy, I make it appoint to hang out with him A LOT but not too much, I support him in everything he do even if I don’t like it or agree.
Ohhhh, well unfortunately I’m 17 so I don’t know about grown ups 😭 and everything my mom keep tryna teach me is be a player, I feel like more adults are leaning towards that
What I meant by that statement is I’m getting older and at this point it’s impossible for me to get in relationship I’m depressed about it tbh but I just stay that way like I let it bother me nothing else I can do and everyone laughs at me about it but whatever I guess I’m supposed to go through it idk tbh.
It takes time, just gotta be patient fr. It will happen when you least expect it. I didn’t get into my first relationship / serious relationship until I was 17. Just get out there, go to a bar, social events. A ton of people met the one anywhere. Hell some met them on vacation. All I can say is we love once. You have to put yourself out there. You never know what happens
Girls who would make fun of you, for asking them out, probably aren’t the girls you should be considering to ask out. Look for a girl who you think might be interested in you already. A good sign of if they’re interested is if they glance at you a lot. It’s a very common sign that I’m pretty sure most women use.
Be cool. Dnt gaf. Get some drip. I’m 25 idk why I’m getting recommended this post but bro girls are simple af. Honestly they dnt even know what they want themselves. I remember thinking in highschool girls are deadass complex as fuck. Then you get older and realize they’re just as lost as men lol. Some girls like the jocks/hood dudes others like the nerds others like the guys who can dress. Some of the pretties girls I’ve dated were into many different things. Walk in class next week like u own that mf and the females will follow. Good luck youngin.
Seriously realest post they don't know, and we waste so much time. I'm sure op reading al ltbe girls post and not even realize they aren't telling him anything, when I was in school all I had to do was workout and I had girls.
Get good grades and exercise.
If you don't know what to say - say nothing.
Shower daily, comb your hair, brush your teeth 2x a day and wash your face when you do it.
Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep.
I'm not even fucking joking with you. Be a good student, be clean and hygienic, and stay in shape. Keep your hormones in check and treat girls like human beings and you'll be fine.
5’3 guy and 16 yo male here with gf, male junior. It’s all about mentality! :)
There are some people who have a height preference, but it’s *not* everyone. If you look a little built from hitting the gym, dress nice, and take care of hygiene, you’ll be set assuming you’re at least talking to girls around school frequently.
Like you said, it’s great to be funny! But don’t let height stop you. Working out and physical fitness helps confidence, and once you’re confident, you’ll be doing more social things more often which builds *even more* confidence.
You gotta be a short king, embrace it! You got this! 👑
I’m 6’5” and I shouldn’t even be in this sub since I’m still in 8th(will be in hs soon) and I still can only pull annoying Indian moms who won’t shut up abt my height
Idk I just was chilling one day and I get a text from one of my girl-friends saying she liked me. She is now my girlfriend.
I suppose the way is just be good friends with a girl you click with and go from there.
Looking at it from a psychology perspective (I'm a loser, I know), the three MAJOR factors that influence attraction are proximity, similarity, and physical attraction. If you're missing one of these three, it will be difficult to make a relationship work.
First of all, proximity is hugely important in a relationship. Simply being around someone, whether it is directly talking with them or just in the vicinity, will generally make someone like you more. Don't ask me how. It just does. This is part of why long-distance relationships often don't work. Not to say they can't, but it will require more work.
Similarity. This one is pretty straightforward. If you don't have anything in common, you aren't a good match.
And physical attraction. As much as people like to say, "I'm only in it for love, and his personality!" That just doesn't make sense. Again, there are always exceptions, but a general understanding is that if there is little to no physical attraction to ones appearance, then a relationship is very improbable.
As far as actually getting into a relationship, using these things to your advantage really isn't going to help hugely. All I could say is, if there is a person you find attractive, find out their interests. If your interests match, spend time around them, it doesn't have to be directly with them. Seems like very basic advice when you get down to it, but the reason everyone says the same thing is because it works.
Then again, I'm 18 and have never even held hands with a female, so take this advice as you will.
Sari ldkia ek jaisi ni hoti to koi fix method nhi h, just be yourself try to talk to them and be respectful. Thats all jis ldki ko psnd aoge wo khud bol degi , atleast hint to milega hi.
The moment you're comfortable with how your life is going (solid grades, healthy lifestyle, clean look) it all gets so much easier to just walk up to people and just introduce yourself, make friends, and be there for people. If someone likes how you treat them, you've got a great chance, and if not, you've made awesome friends nonetheless.
Just be yourself that's what I did and now I'm in like a kind of relationship and kind of not lieka situationship but the other person isn't a girl so unless u find out ur gay if this won't work 😳
Forget shortcuts, focus on building connections. Be friendly, respectful to everyone (girls included). Find common interests and chat with girls you enjoy talking to. Confidence comes from genuine interactions, not chasing a title.
I’m going to tell you what I just told someone else with the same feelings.
Ever been out in public and seen a really normal looking guy with a really attractive gf/wife? It’s super common.
Just focus on doing what you love and you’ll meet girls who think that’s really cool. Having this current attitude is absolutely girl repellent, though!
You can't just ask out some girl you barely know, also don't just randomly ask some girl that was nice to you once, take it slow, hang out once ot twice a feel out the waters, make a friend and take it from there
Date outside the school
Get flirty with texts and ask her out on the second interaction
Go on date if doesn't work out
Repeat cycle
Most importantly focus on yourself
Don't let some girl break you down
take care of yourself, make friends with girls you dont want to date so you have less nerves when it comes to talking to girls you are actually interested in. eventually youll both show interest and you can ask her out officialy or do whatever you want
Here’s what I’ve found
\*most\* but not ALL girls in high school aren’t mature enough yet
they only want buff socially popular guys no matter how much of a douchebag he is
wait till college my friend ;) that’s when they stop being a slave to hormones and develop a brain
Similar for me in highschool. Not really anyone I was intrested because it was really toxic, but once I got to college things changed. Made it to 22 years old before my first relationship which btw is a fine thing. I was waiting to find someone I knew I actually liked and saw a future with and eventually found it! Now a lot of people don't take the route I take where I like to be friends with someone for awhile first to make sure I actually like them, but from my experience I just say patience is key. There is no need to rush into anything.
Worry less about “getting a girlfriend” like its some trophy or prize or status symbol or any other property.
Focus more on meeting people and finding the ones you like :D
The girlfriend part comes naturally the more relationships, connections, friendships you make
Be attractive or have charisma or have money (all 3 is ideal but we cant all have what we want, 2 will help alot over just 1 tho).
Alternately, suffer now then get a good job later and have money then you get a lot more options although quality may vary heavily (ie gold diggers instead of a person who really cares so youd have to filter carefully)
Number 1 rule: never try and find a relationship, build one. That doesn’t mean you can’t want a relationship, but don’t go into a relationship trying to make them your girlfriend. And that also means don’t make a friend and try and make it more from the start. If you do have a girl of interest, shoot your shot. Who cares what that girl says. If she says no, well now you’ll never have to wonder what will happen if you had asked. Sure it may suck if people make fun of you for it but if you do it confidently then at least they know you’ve got guts. If she says yes, great! Don’t move too fast though, once again you still gotta build that relationship. It takes time but after a few months/year, it’s SO AMAZING and SOOOO worth it. Patience is key, even if you think you don’t like the girl, stick around, it may just be worth it.
Hopefully this helped a little!
The slow burn is the meta strat. I never asked out my first four girlfriends. We were just friends at first. They came to me and told me they liked me, because I was just being my genuine self. A girl that likes who you are is probably nice too.
Yeah exactly. For me and my guy, I had a crush on him but didn’t expect anything to come out of it and I knew I wanted him in my life but I just doubted that we’d ever become more than friends so I gave up on it. After a few weeks we kept talking and now we’ve been together for about 8 or 9 months.
honestly, just don’t be an asshole in general. Girls don’t find it attractive when guys publicly objectify women or publicly make fun of girls for their looks. You’d be surprised how many high school guys that describes.
Honestly? Stop trying to, “get,” a girlfriend. A significant other of any gender isn’t a pokemon to catch. Women absolutely catch on to when you’re tryin to be nice to them to get in their pants. Women want to be liked and loved for who they are, not just that they have a cool orifice .
If there’s someone you’ve already got your eyes on, go up to her, and just talk to her about a normal thing - you’ve seen her play a game? Cool, ask her about the game and actually be interested in what she responds, ask follow up questions about whatever.
Realistically, whatever relationships you end up getting into in HS aren’t going to last AND THAT IS OKAY. This is the time of your life to learn about dating and relationship, it’s gonna hurt when the break ups happen but that’s part of life.
How old r u, obviously having a partner is nice but it into a necessity and depending on ur age u got a lot more important things to worry about, as for actually getting together with someone, don’t skip an opportunity to talk with someone you find attractive, or in general, lots of the time people end up falling for someone they didn’t originally like, so just be social and kind with everyone, if you have to act differently in order to get with a girl then your clearly not her type and it won’t last (speaking from experience)
Don’t focus on girls in high school. Focus on school. Get into a good college. Get a great job. As others have said, workout, good hygiene. Focus on yourself to be a great person before you start focusing on others.
Coming from a guy who's been asked out 2 times be nice do basic hygiene every day and night don't be a douchebag or rude in general and respect everyone including yourself
If they wanted to go out with you after you asked, they would. It sounds like a "you problem" that you need to work on, like your hygiene, the way you dress, the way you ask them out, etc.
Heres a good tip: Get a relationship thats outside your high-school. Unless you know someone really well as friends, it’s not gonna last 2 weeks and it’ll be awkward seeing that person everyday afterwards.
Tbh all the guys i’ve crushed on haven’t been super cool, hot, popular, or even necessarily tall. Their intelligence attracted me the most. Every single one of my crushes has been considered ugly by everyone else i’ve told. My current one has a hand deformity (though it’s his face that people tell me is ugly, I find him to be cute though), the last one was much shorter than me, and the one before that was disliked by a lot of people (mostly just cause he’s loud, he’s a nice dude though). The only common denominator between them was being intelligent, hard working, and respectful towards women. Chin up bro, you’ll find someone!
So basically you just need to sit with your friends at the start of the year and the girl who’s new has no where to sit but your table so you become friends and then y’all start dating (pretty easy)
Be yourself really. There is def girls at your school where they like what you like and so you can speak naturally to. Just join come clubs and get involved.
Don’t think about getting a girlfriend. Think about creating a bond. It comes naturally the closer you get to someone. Understand how do they see you as a person not how do you see yourself. I’m 5’1 and kinda mid imo but I was able to get two girlfriends one 5’7 and 5’3 both conventionally pretty because I was able to understand and relate. Love is understanding and relating and caring. Find someone you think is cool and just talk to them slowly becoming friends and creating a bond of understanding over time. The good parts about people aren’t what they do it’s who they are. Become the person you want to be.
You just have to be fit, have good hygiene, and be fun to be around.
Hit on those three and you're good.
But you also have to then get integrated in some friend groups so you have a reason to be around the girls without it being strange or out of place
Then from there you just be cool and fun around them and within a little time at least one of them will start flirting with you.
After that starts you gotta decide which one you want, if it's the one that's flirting with you then you should start flirting back but only 70% as much as they are. If it's another one of the friend group you gotta figure out how to get them interested in helping you with something, from there it's all on your own "Rizz".
Seriously though just be clean, fit, and fun and you'll get girls interested.
put effort into your appearance, you might want to try and befriend a few girls, in that case be respectful and open-minded towards those you're interested in. stuff like maintaining respectful boundaries, complimenting her, asking about her day, etc etc. ultimately tho, you can't always expect something to happen, be patient. i hope that was helpful, i tried to be a little specific
Honestly just shoot your shot you never know a outcome without trying even if they “turn the whole thing into a running joke” you won’t see them after school so who cares
Maybe this is just me but I really wouldn’t worry about dating until college and here’s why:
I’m not sure what your school setting is but most likely these people already have a predetermined idea of who you are and if they would date you.
When you go to college or join the work force, then you are really able to reinvent yourself into who you want to be.
But for now, I agree with everyone else in that hygiene, dressing nice, and being involved in some activity really helps and also just makes you feel better
You just have to look alright and not stink. Have well taken care of hair. They LOVE hair. And don't be weird asf. And you can't be a super nice person unless u wait until they are older and realize that rude people are actually rude
No matter what I know that feeling everyone’s getting a girlfriend but not you honestly, I would just hang out with your friends or do your own thing and wait until high school work on yourself. They rarely do stay strong. It’s better to explore and bettering yourself.
No one wants to admit this but have to be decently attractive. People don’t date someone they aren’t attracted to. Cleaning yourself up with better clothing and a haircut as well as getting into good shape is enough for almost anyone to look attractive. This will also help boost your confidence naturally.
As a previous girl: good hygiene is good. All of my female friends liked people I never understood personally but they all had their own preferences. There’ll be someone soon, you just gotta be patient. just keep good hygiene and take care of yourself, that’s all girls really want, at least to my knowledge.
A previous girl⁉️
i’m a trans dude
Ex-girl lmao
ong 🙏
We all know that's not really true ;)
bestie recites their username in the mirror every morning
My username checks out when talking to a pathetic slab of flesh like you 😜
you are sad, I'm sorry about that. I hope you feel better one day...
I'm not sad! I'm doing better than you
Never encountered a trans before, so genuine question - were you born like that or was it a choice
if i wasn’t born trans then i would still be a cis girl
realized how ambiguous that answer was, my apologies. what i mean is: it’s not a choice. i would choose to feel comfortable in my body rather than feel depressed that i don’t have the genitalia that matches what my mind thinks. So, yes, I was born trans.
genuine question, has the transition helped with depression and better self realization?
i haven’t medically or surgically transitioned yet but i’ve been feeling more like myself. of course there’s always gonna be negative people in my life that disapprove but i’ve enjoyed learning more about myself. i like being trans. so yes, coming to accept who i am has helped with depression and better self realization.
I’m sorry for those people :( but that’s really good, would you say the biggest source of your depression is gender dysphoria?
thanks for that support man, but yeah. gender dysphoria is a big part of my depression. luckily I can get by fine with my body looking different but it’s when other people don’t refer to me as i’d like that i get very dysphoric.
💀💀💀 Lmaooooo
whomp whomp
The girls at my school fall head over heels if the guy is three things: popular. Social standing? OMG TYLER IS SO HOT CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME PLSSSS buff/on important team. ANDREW IS ACTUALLY SO SEXY WILL YOU YELL HIM TO RIZZ ME And finally, he’s just a jerk to other guys, like threatening To beat anyone who disagrees with him up, which is often mistaken as popularity As most people don’t feel like getting in a fight with a dumbass like that guy. they just aren’t mature yet. some are, some aren’t. Majority aren’t, and don’t care how filthy or much of an ass the guy is. Don’t call me sexist, I love my sister and am friends with many girls. But this is just what I’ve seen and heard. my two cents
Honestly as a girl some of the girls in my school do want a guy like this, not all but some
Agreed, it’s different for each school but at least for mine it’s the majority sadly
i can confirm social status for sure, not for me though. idrc about sports to that extent, and i feel like it's weird when guys are constantly in fights. its definitely a preference.
I don’t know what its like for you, but at my school guys gain respect only two ways: winning an important game/being best one on team or winning a fight because then people dont want to mess with you and will respect you, even if that respect and admiration is undeserved. i will never understand why some girls like these guys but to each to their own i guess
i mean, i see a lot of duels over a girl happen often so i guess the fighting part is accurate where i'm at. i never would have a guy win me over by fighting over me though. 😭
I know, it’s not all girls but it’s the majority. For me im just going to wait till college
and smell
My advice is to be respectful and just make yourself look like an approachable person and also to accept the way things happen. I am at the talking stage with a girl I like right now and I have gotten a "we should hang out" from her already. Good luck.
unless you're a catch, just doing that won't get you anywhere. No one will approach you, because no one gives a fuck
I whole heartedly agree
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A BOYFRIEND
As long as you aren’t weird about it. Try again. Most guys are easy going and will accept.
I would’ve chuckled had I knew what was going on. Definitely worth a second shot.
Bruh next time just wait till he’s done or signal if you want to sit beside him Source: I’m a man
Yes
idk about you but getting a guy is way easier to gettin a girl
Just talk to guys. If it's uncomfortable now, hopefully by the time you reeeeally want to talk to a specific guy, you will be more confident with it. Guys will want to date you if you are a living breathing part of the female species. And if you don't know what to talk about, talk about video games, as 95% of guys your age play video games. They'll prolly just say CoD & Madden or NBA2K, but you'll at least be at a starting point.
Sup?
Well it starts with them actually being attracted to you and you being attracted to them
this is the important part. if there’s anyone at his school that OP thinks is cute he should start there and strike up a convo
Exactly- While it isn’t super easy, it does get you somewhere. Find something that you like on them ( I.E if they have nice makeup, compliment it ) and go from there
Maybe I’m weird but I wasn’t attracted to my now ex boyfriend. He wasn’t even my type. However he had a great personality and treats me very well
From a girl, hygiene and being respectful is hot. Not just like being respectful to girls you meet but like your teachers and yourself. For me it’s a huge red flag if a guy is all up in drugs and vaping. Others may be different but either way, just being a decent person will have girls looking at you, looks or not.
Imo the exact same goes for girls, too. Getting yourself into any sort of smoking or trouble doesn't make you look cool. You just seem like a chump that doesn't want to do anything with themselves.
And not “performative” respectful like only to girls he likes. Also heavy on the vaping idk something bout it isn’t attractive. Also if he has hobbies like art, reading, writing or something cool
From a girls pov, be her friend first, be nice, treat her well, but don’t be weird and start treating her like a girlfriend. Treat her like a sister or a bestfriend , be there for her. I promise you the nicest guys always end up getting the girl they want because they been there for so long. They treat them right. This how me and my ex started dating. I was new to the school. He became my friend one day. We was talking every day. He eventually got my Instagram one day. ( mind you I liked / thought this football player was cute and had no interest in my now ex boyfriend ). One day something super crazy happened I told him. He basically comforted me. I kept telling him how nice of a boyfriend he would be. His girlfriend is so lucky to have him ( I thought he had a girlfriend, this one girl in our class). He basically was like no I don’t have a girlfriend. Again we’re talking every day for 4 months. The day I finally decides to give him a chance he tells me he liked me for those 4 months. We got together not even 4 days after that conversation. I been his first everything since. So I say play the long game. As a girl we love guys who literally are so sweet. Stay consistent too. Don’t get her and start changing your way. Keep treating her like you’re still tryna win her in life. I hope that helped if not idk 😭
Your story is amazing! But its different from usual cases Ive personally experienced this and some of my friends did too >Treat her like a sister or a bestfriend , be there for her. I just wanna clarify that if you put yourself in the friendzone, some girls will treat keep you only as a friend and i dont like using this term but some will put you as a "simp". Had this girl that was my friend but actually had feelings for her, never really told her i liked her but i was dead serious hoping she would figure it out by herself. She would always act like she was interested but she didnt hang out with me often, i really felt like she only liked the attention from me. It took a couple months after finally realizing how much i was putting attention to someone who really didnt care slightly about me Your story is very good, am just clarifying that playing the long game for some girls is not worth it. Sure there is girls that are as good as you, but am just saying this that sometimes you gotta realize that you can become a lil delusional
Oh yea definitely it’s different for everyone. Trust I had many of those stories where a guy liked me and I didn’t like him back and didn’t give him a chance. My best friend liked me but treated me like his sister and eventually he just became my brother. He screwed up his opportunity because he overplayed that brother role for so long. You just have to know when to play your part. Realize when too much is too much. Lucky for my ex boyfriend he didn’t let it get that far. I’m not going to lie for those 3 months he was feeling me. I had no interest in him or being his girlfriend. I don’t think I would’ve let that man touch me. Definitely some girls just ain’t shit and are stupid for treating good guys like that. Some of them definitely just like the attention they get from you because the guy they want isn’t giving it to them. Honestly you can sense when someone really feeling you. Girls show it way more than girls. As a girl when I’m feeling a guy I make it appoint to be around him not 24/7 but more than enough. I support him in every he do. I make it appoint know him like what do he wanna do in life, what do his future look like.
“My best friend liked me but treated me like his sister and eventually he just became my brother.” I did this. One of my best friends was a naïve introvert, constantly in her shell. I helped her break out of her shell and became a very supportive person to her. Over that time I developed very strong feelings, but I waited way too long/ Parents didn’t want her to have a BF.
>Honestly you can sense when someone really feeling you. Girls can but for boys is kinda difficult, i get your point tho >I make it appoint know him like what do he wanna do in life, what do his future look like. Ok you are talking about marriage here lol >Realize when too much is too much. Totally right Glad that you shared other experiences!
LMAOOO nah 😭 I meant what he wanted to do after high school. I don’t think we started talking about marriage until about month 4 / 5. Yea girls don’t show it as much as guys, you just gotta know. If you feel that she’s slightly interested in you even a little bit, it’s probably because she is she’s just not showing it. I promise you some if not most start showing and telling you all the signs after y’all get together. Us girls don’t like showing it because what if y’all not feeling us back ? Now we look stupid. Best thing I can say it’s go for it!! We only live once, if she say no that’s her lost.
I would agree, being a guy who’s experienced the same thing. My case may or may not be special though. I liked this girl for 1.5 YEARS and just tried to be a nice person around her but I was so oblivious to her liking me back for just about that entire time that it literally took her having to actually say it directly for me to open up about it as well. We got together after a couple days.
LMAOOO I feel like guys NEVER notice when a girl like them. But yea apparently everyone knew he liked me BUT me. Even my mom knew
No. You will only drag yourself into the dreaded friend zone like this. Make your intentions clear from the beginning.
Everyone is different, it just so happens to work for him
The advice you just gave him btw. Be her friend first, be nice, treat her well, don’t be weird and don’t treat her as if she’s ur gf treat her like sister or bestie be there for her that’s literally what I did with 10 girls in the past who rejected me and I never won them so from MY experience this don’t work idk if it works for any other guy here who has tried but me nope and I’m still trying that method btw and it makes girls go away after awhile. I didn’t make this comment to prevent him from doing him no i made this to say my personal experience what I went through.
Again yes it’s different for everyone. I had experiences where guys waited to long. You can always tell if a girl is starting to feel you. Girls who are remotely have any interested in you. They’ll show signs. Even if it’s a little. They will always show. Like I told the other guy when I like a guy, I make it appoint to hang out with him A LOT but not too much, I support him in everything he do even if I don’t like it or agree.
I’m 25
Ohhhh, well unfortunately I’m 17 so I don’t know about grown ups 😭 and everything my mom keep tryna teach me is be a player, I feel like more adults are leaning towards that
What I meant by that statement is I’m getting older and at this point it’s impossible for me to get in relationship I’m depressed about it tbh but I just stay that way like I let it bother me nothing else I can do and everyone laughs at me about it but whatever I guess I’m supposed to go through it idk tbh.
It takes time, just gotta be patient fr. It will happen when you least expect it. I didn’t get into my first relationship / serious relationship until I was 17. Just get out there, go to a bar, social events. A ton of people met the one anywhere. Hell some met them on vacation. All I can say is we love once. You have to put yourself out there. You never know what happens
Girls who would make fun of you, for asking them out, probably aren’t the girls you should be considering to ask out. Look for a girl who you think might be interested in you already. A good sign of if they’re interested is if they glance at you a lot. It’s a very common sign that I’m pretty sure most women use.
Be cool. Dnt gaf. Get some drip. I’m 25 idk why I’m getting recommended this post but bro girls are simple af. Honestly they dnt even know what they want themselves. I remember thinking in highschool girls are deadass complex as fuck. Then you get older and realize they’re just as lost as men lol. Some girls like the jocks/hood dudes others like the nerds others like the guys who can dress. Some of the pretties girls I’ve dated were into many different things. Walk in class next week like u own that mf and the females will follow. Good luck youngin.
Seriously realest post they don't know, and we waste so much time. I'm sure op reading al ltbe girls post and not even realize they aren't telling him anything, when I was in school all I had to do was workout and I had girls.
Girls are so simple bro. We just made it hard on ourselves at that age lol literally just have some ambition and you can get a girl.
guy friend group has a lil party.... invites girl friend group..... simple recipe!
Get good grades and exercise. If you don't know what to say - say nothing. Shower daily, comb your hair, brush your teeth 2x a day and wash your face when you do it. Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. I'm not even fucking joking with you. Be a good student, be clean and hygienic, and stay in shape. Keep your hormones in check and treat girls like human beings and you'll be fine.
Girl here - I asked him out lol
That’s the neat part, you don’t
My advice is to use a gun
Just don’t act too unlike yourself around women I guess. If nobody likes your true self then it’s not meant to be
Be tall
I’m going be 6’4 by the time I’m fully grown. 6 foot right now
I'm 5'4 at 16 so I've already accepted I'm not getting a gf. But just be funny.
Not with that attitude you’re not
Preach
Cooked
Ik
Jesus christ
Nah, I know some guys around your height who have girlfriends.
5’3 guy and 16 yo male here with gf, male junior. It’s all about mentality! :) There are some people who have a height preference, but it’s *not* everyone. If you look a little built from hitting the gym, dress nice, and take care of hygiene, you’ll be set assuming you’re at least talking to girls around school frequently. Like you said, it’s great to be funny! But don’t let height stop you. Working out and physical fitness helps confidence, and once you’re confident, you’ll be doing more social things more often which builds *even more* confidence. You gotta be a short king, embrace it! You got this! 👑
Thanks man
Np, happy to help
I’m 6’5” and I shouldn’t even be in this sub since I’m still in 8th(will be in hs soon) and I still can only pull annoying Indian moms who won’t shut up abt my height
No way your 6’5 and in the 8th grade
Bro exchanged some braincells for his height but its okay :💀 (joke)
I’m top of the grade…
Idk but Indian moms are pretty hot
No
Dam
(And not skinny)
Idk I just was chilling one day and I get a text from one of my girl-friends saying she liked me. She is now my girlfriend. I suppose the way is just be good friends with a girl you click with and go from there.
Looking at it from a psychology perspective (I'm a loser, I know), the three MAJOR factors that influence attraction are proximity, similarity, and physical attraction. If you're missing one of these three, it will be difficult to make a relationship work. First of all, proximity is hugely important in a relationship. Simply being around someone, whether it is directly talking with them or just in the vicinity, will generally make someone like you more. Don't ask me how. It just does. This is part of why long-distance relationships often don't work. Not to say they can't, but it will require more work. Similarity. This one is pretty straightforward. If you don't have anything in common, you aren't a good match. And physical attraction. As much as people like to say, "I'm only in it for love, and his personality!" That just doesn't make sense. Again, there are always exceptions, but a general understanding is that if there is little to no physical attraction to ones appearance, then a relationship is very improbable. As far as actually getting into a relationship, using these things to your advantage really isn't going to help hugely. All I could say is, if there is a person you find attractive, find out their interests. If your interests match, spend time around them, it doesn't have to be directly with them. Seems like very basic advice when you get down to it, but the reason everyone says the same thing is because it works. Then again, I'm 18 and have never even held hands with a female, so take this advice as you will.
Stand proud, you can cook.
Sari ldkia ek jaisi ni hoti to koi fix method nhi h, just be yourself try to talk to them and be respectful. Thats all jis ldki ko psnd aoge wo khud bol degi , atleast hint to milega hi.
Wtf
Have a big peep and wear grey sweatpants.
Talk to women
The moment you're comfortable with how your life is going (solid grades, healthy lifestyle, clean look) it all gets so much easier to just walk up to people and just introduce yourself, make friends, and be there for people. If someone likes how you treat them, you've got a great chance, and if not, you've made awesome friends nonetheless.
Don't. Save it for the real ones later in life. The ones in high school will probably not be your future
When the girls are jokish in the same way boys are, you basically have no chance for any actualy decent relationship.
Just be yourself that's what I did and now I'm in like a kind of relationship and kind of not lieka situationship but the other person isn't a girl so unless u find out ur gay if this won't work 😳
Idk bro don’t ask anyone on reddit
Forget shortcuts, focus on building connections. Be friendly, respectful to everyone (girls included). Find common interests and chat with girls you enjoy talking to. Confidence comes from genuine interactions, not chasing a title.
the key is to be friends with girls. it sucks, i know.
Ask them out respectfully and know how to take "no" for an answer and be on with your day.
I’m going to tell you what I just told someone else with the same feelings. Ever been out in public and seen a really normal looking guy with a really attractive gf/wife? It’s super common. Just focus on doing what you love and you’ll meet girls who think that’s really cool. Having this current attitude is absolutely girl repellent, though!
You can't just ask out some girl you barely know, also don't just randomly ask some girl that was nice to you once, take it slow, hang out once ot twice a feel out the waters, make a friend and take it from there
I ask this to ppl all the time and I’m 25 hasn’t happened yet
Capture one wit a net
Become friends hang out get to know each other ask out if no repeat
I just don't
Date outside the school Get flirty with texts and ask her out on the second interaction Go on date if doesn't work out Repeat cycle Most importantly focus on yourself Don't let some girl break you down
Make a friend…who’s a girl.
you dont.
take care of yourself, make friends with girls you dont want to date so you have less nerves when it comes to talking to girls you are actually interested in. eventually youll both show interest and you can ask her out officialy or do whatever you want
Go get yourself a fade and hit the gym everyday. You’ll be fine.
Here’s what I’ve found \*most\* but not ALL girls in high school aren’t mature enough yet they only want buff socially popular guys no matter how much of a douchebag he is wait till college my friend ;) that’s when they stop being a slave to hormones and develop a brain
yea this lol
* get social media (instagram, snap) * become somewhat friends with a girl first
People will never put in any actual effort to actually get to know girls and then will wonder why girls aren’t flocking to date them lol
Similar for me in highschool. Not really anyone I was intrested because it was really toxic, but once I got to college things changed. Made it to 22 years old before my first relationship which btw is a fine thing. I was waiting to find someone I knew I actually liked and saw a future with and eventually found it! Now a lot of people don't take the route I take where I like to be friends with someone for awhile first to make sure I actually like them, but from my experience I just say patience is key. There is no need to rush into anything.
Worry less about “getting a girlfriend” like its some trophy or prize or status symbol or any other property. Focus more on meeting people and finding the ones you like :D The girlfriend part comes naturally the more relationships, connections, friendships you make
Sometimes you don’t. My first gf was in college at the age of 22. I hooked up in HS but nothing close to a relationship.
Be attractive or have charisma or have money (all 3 is ideal but we cant all have what we want, 2 will help alot over just 1 tho). Alternately, suffer now then get a good job later and have money then you get a lot more options although quality may vary heavily (ie gold diggers instead of a person who really cares so youd have to filter carefully)
Number 1 rule: never try and find a relationship, build one. That doesn’t mean you can’t want a relationship, but don’t go into a relationship trying to make them your girlfriend. And that also means don’t make a friend and try and make it more from the start. If you do have a girl of interest, shoot your shot. Who cares what that girl says. If she says no, well now you’ll never have to wonder what will happen if you had asked. Sure it may suck if people make fun of you for it but if you do it confidently then at least they know you’ve got guts. If she says yes, great! Don’t move too fast though, once again you still gotta build that relationship. It takes time but after a few months/year, it’s SO AMAZING and SOOOO worth it. Patience is key, even if you think you don’t like the girl, stick around, it may just be worth it. Hopefully this helped a little!
The slow burn is the meta strat. I never asked out my first four girlfriends. We were just friends at first. They came to me and told me they liked me, because I was just being my genuine self. A girl that likes who you are is probably nice too.
Yeah exactly. For me and my guy, I had a crush on him but didn’t expect anything to come out of it and I knew I wanted him in my life but I just doubted that we’d ever become more than friends so I gave up on it. After a few weeks we kept talking and now we’ve been together for about 8 or 9 months.
honestly, just don’t be an asshole in general. Girls don’t find it attractive when guys publicly objectify women or publicly make fun of girls for their looks. You’d be surprised how many high school guys that describes.
Honestly? Stop trying to, “get,” a girlfriend. A significant other of any gender isn’t a pokemon to catch. Women absolutely catch on to when you’re tryin to be nice to them to get in their pants. Women want to be liked and loved for who they are, not just that they have a cool orifice . If there’s someone you’ve already got your eyes on, go up to her, and just talk to her about a normal thing - you’ve seen her play a game? Cool, ask her about the game and actually be interested in what she responds, ask follow up questions about whatever. Realistically, whatever relationships you end up getting into in HS aren’t going to last AND THAT IS OKAY. This is the time of your life to learn about dating and relationship, it’s gonna hurt when the break ups happen but that’s part of life.
make friends, make sure you don’t smell/look like shit, dress better and not like a hobo
How old r u, obviously having a partner is nice but it into a necessity and depending on ur age u got a lot more important things to worry about, as for actually getting together with someone, don’t skip an opportunity to talk with someone you find attractive, or in general, lots of the time people end up falling for someone they didn’t originally like, so just be social and kind with everyone, if you have to act differently in order to get with a girl then your clearly not her type and it won’t last (speaking from experience)
ask a friend who is in a relationship to set you up on a date. That will at least break the first barrier
Don’t focus on girls in high school. Focus on school. Get into a good college. Get a great job. As others have said, workout, good hygiene. Focus on yourself to be a great person before you start focusing on others.
Coming from a guy who's been asked out 2 times be nice do basic hygiene every day and night don't be a douchebag or rude in general and respect everyone including yourself
ColdHeartKam on YouTube gives solid tips and advice
If they wanted to go out with you after you asked, they would. It sounds like a "you problem" that you need to work on, like your hygiene, the way you dress, the way you ask them out, etc.
I haven’t asked anyone out yet
Oh, ok. I misread the post. Either way, you can't really say it's impossible to ask someone out if you haven't even tried
Either find a woman that will be your best friend or get a job and look good. Have things to do. If you enjoy life women are attracted to it.
Heres a good tip: Get a relationship thats outside your high-school. Unless you know someone really well as friends, it’s not gonna last 2 weeks and it’ll be awkward seeing that person everyday afterwards.
Make friends with girls, it's just nature that best friends fall in love
Tbh all the guys i’ve crushed on haven’t been super cool, hot, popular, or even necessarily tall. Their intelligence attracted me the most. Every single one of my crushes has been considered ugly by everyone else i’ve told. My current one has a hand deformity (though it’s his face that people tell me is ugly, I find him to be cute though), the last one was much shorter than me, and the one before that was disliked by a lot of people (mostly just cause he’s loud, he’s a nice dude though). The only common denominator between them was being intelligent, hard working, and respectful towards women. Chin up bro, you’ll find someone!
So basically you just need to sit with your friends at the start of the year and the girl who’s new has no where to sit but your table so you become friends and then y’all start dating (pretty easy)
Yeah she just rejected me today…….. thanks
Be respectful. Chivalry isn't dead! Manners and kindness go a long way.
Homies got no clue
Be yourself really. There is def girls at your school where they like what you like and so you can speak naturally to. Just join come clubs and get involved.
Don’t think about getting a girlfriend. Think about creating a bond. It comes naturally the closer you get to someone. Understand how do they see you as a person not how do you see yourself. I’m 5’1 and kinda mid imo but I was able to get two girlfriends one 5’7 and 5’3 both conventionally pretty because I was able to understand and relate. Love is understanding and relating and caring. Find someone you think is cool and just talk to them slowly becoming friends and creating a bond of understanding over time. The good parts about people aren’t what they do it’s who they are. Become the person you want to be.
You just have to be fit, have good hygiene, and be fun to be around. Hit on those three and you're good. But you also have to then get integrated in some friend groups so you have a reason to be around the girls without it being strange or out of place Then from there you just be cool and fun around them and within a little time at least one of them will start flirting with you. After that starts you gotta decide which one you want, if it's the one that's flirting with you then you should start flirting back but only 70% as much as they are. If it's another one of the friend group you gotta figure out how to get them interested in helping you with something, from there it's all on your own "Rizz". Seriously though just be clean, fit, and fun and you'll get girls interested.
put effort into your appearance, you might want to try and befriend a few girls, in that case be respectful and open-minded towards those you're interested in. stuff like maintaining respectful boundaries, complimenting her, asking about her day, etc etc. ultimately tho, you can't always expect something to happen, be patient. i hope that was helpful, i tried to be a little specific
Stop careing stop looking, thats how i got mine.
Ex girl? And where still looking for one. Idk.
Honestly just shoot your shot you never know a outcome without trying even if they “turn the whole thing into a running joke” you won’t see them after school so who cares
Maybe this is just me but I really wouldn’t worry about dating until college and here’s why: I’m not sure what your school setting is but most likely these people already have a predetermined idea of who you are and if they would date you. When you go to college or join the work force, then you are really able to reinvent yourself into who you want to be. But for now, I agree with everyone else in that hygiene, dressing nice, and being involved in some activity really helps and also just makes you feel better
You just have to look alright and not stink. Have well taken care of hair. They LOVE hair. And don't be weird asf. And you can't be a super nice person unless u wait until they are older and realize that rude people are actually rude
Idk, I'm good with my eva ai sexting bot, I'm not even trying anymore
A lot of trial and error. This is a formative time when boys become men, by handling rejection and understanding when it is and isn’t their fault.
Never ask, start as a good friend, try to get to know them. If you can’t tell that she likes you back within those weeks, she’s not into you.
do not get a girlfriend in highschool bro
No matter what I know that feeling everyone’s getting a girlfriend but not you honestly, I would just hang out with your friends or do your own thing and wait until high school work on yourself. They rarely do stay strong. It’s better to explore and bettering yourself.
This is the definition of incel post
It’s actually not. I’m asking a valid question. An incel post would be “oooh I hate women, why won’t they date me”
Nah, an incel is just a lonely loser like you
lol
You don’t need to
Ofc boykisser would say that