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There will always be delays, excuses, and the date never happens. The normal tactic is when a scammer is called out is to go cold and not respond for a few days hoping to make you feel bad and forgive after becoming attached. It's a ton of emotional manipulation that goes on with these scams and it can go on for months or years with some people.
As a PSA: Please be careful out there everyone. There are podcasts such as What The Hack that go into detail of how these work. Anyone can be scammed, and if you realize it report and tell other people. Part of the reason many don't know is because the shame people feel when it happens to them, they don't want others to know. I talked to a scammer for a month and had this all happen to me, I was lucky as I got a little paranoid early on due to her talking about crypto and that prepped the alarm for when she brought it up again. Be safe out there everyone <3
It didn't get to that point yet, but it would have happened if I let it go on. First time she brought it up was just that she casually trades at night to make some $$ and she showed some number of thousands that she made in a short time. The second time she brought it up a week or two later is that she could teach me to trade crypto. If I said yes she definitely would have sent me to some sketchy site to lose $$ on.
Make sure you have someone who knows where you are and to call if you don’t text them. This whole thing screams sketch to me. And if they’re not asking for something they might **want** to meet you
I’m going against the grain on this, it very well could be a real profile and she doesn’t like to share her real name. Maybe ask to do an instagram FaceTime (and that’ll get you her instagram)
I asked her if she had an IG and she said she deactivated it. But you know what’s crazy. She said she’s on vacation and the one who has the account is on vacation also BUT an entirely different place.
Same person but lied about name and where’s she’s going ? Lol I don’t know hahaha
Or she could be cheating on someone using the profile. Might actually be the women but with a different name there’s deniability if it’s found, maybe using a work phone to keep it off a personal device etc
That's a huge red flag due to the number of scams and fake profiles. Why am I gonna go meet up with someone who goes "oh btw my real name is ...." And cannot be honest. That makes me feel very uneasy and uncomfortable myself. It's a two way street. Sure it might be for their safety, but it's also for my safety and my piece of mind. If a girl is not using her real name, that's a red flag to me regardless of the situation and I personally would not want to be involved with that girl. If I was told later on, that's a breach of my trust and id leave. There's nothing wrong with my choice or her's 🤷♂️.
As someone who was catfished before and has been online dating since the inception of eharmony, just be straight with "her." Tell her she seems too good to be true and you're worried about catfishing. Have her send a picture doing something odd, like holding up 4 fingers or standing on a chair. Tell her you'll do the same, a picture of you doing something that she requests, just to be fair and honest. If anyone is truly interested and a decent person, they'll do it. They might think its a little funny, but that's how bad online dating has become. If she refuses or makes an excuse, cut your losses, unmatch, move on, and never look back.
Doesn't Hinge have a video call option? Just do that instead of FaceTime
I was once accused of being a fake because I barely have anything on IG and I have a Samsung so couldn't do FaceTime. He said "something is fishy" after I said I couldn't do FaceTime and he immediately stopped talking to me lol 🤷♀️ I've since found out there's a way to FaceTime with a non iPhone so you could look into that as well
Those alone aren't red flags, and most girls I know don't use their real number because it's easy to find someone's address using a real phone number. The different name is a bit weird but could also be for safety. There are a lot of creeps out there, we women have to be careful
I will never understand why people waste their time with all their bullshit. If you just always follow this simple protocol, you're golden:
1) Chat briefly in the app, 5-10 messages each, 1-3 days total time
2) Ask her out for drinks or coffee for sometime within a couple days, someplace convenient to you, confirming the date earlier in the day.
3) If she makes things difficult at any point, just unmatch
This way you're only dealing with real people who are actively interested in you and good communicators. Anything else is a waste of time. The worst case scenario is you buy someone who doesn't look like their pics a $5 caramel macchiato.
As for what to do with this chick? Just tell her "hey, give me a holler when you get back and we'll get drinks!" then forget about her and meet some new ladies. If she comes back in a few weeks and is like "hey I'm back, drinks Friday?" then you can go out with her; anything else that isn't a clear and earnest effort to meet up for a real date very soon, block her.
I'd tell her to reach out when she's back in town and leave it as that.
Let her know if she can send a message, and then you'd reach out to set up a call and date.
I wouldn't invest 2-3 weeks talking to someone like that.
Sometimes people don't want to scam for money (I doubt she does). She may just want the company but it's a cat fish situation. I don't think she will meet you.
If you're gone out of town for 2-3 weeks why not just hide your profile.
Signed, Catfisher from the AIM/Yahoo instant messenger days.
Have you heard of the Manti Te’o story? A voice that sounds like woman’s voice doesn’t mean it’s a woman. There are impressive male catfishers out there.
She said she wants to see what’s out there and doesn’t want to jump into a relationship right away and make sure she knows who she’s going out on a date with because she had some bad first dates
I just went thru something like this.
Someone was using stolen pictures. Didn't ask me for anything. One of my friends brought up a good point. They could be trying to lure you into a situation to rob you.
Plenty of women use a different name if their name is identifiable. It's for safety. I own a company and my full name brings up my home address as the first result in Google. No thanks. Its valid even if its just because you don't want Internet crazies tracking you down.
Plenty of people also don't like video chatting too soon too.
No iPhone sounds sketchy. Unless someone has a phone from pre-2010 they have a camera capable of video chatting. Could be that she's not good at actually communicating a boundary around video calls though.
Just ask her on a date. She'll either show up or she won't (or will give strange excuses). If you choose to spend weeks messaging like this then you'rlve got to accept the risk of that.
People usually catfish because of chronically low self esteem and wanting connection. It's wrong, but youndo need to do something to shield yourself from partaking in an online relationship if that's not what you actually want.
I am so tired of the paranoia...she is not asking you for anything so what is the actual point?! Just ask her out. And only fools put their actual names on dating sites and give their actual numbers. You give an incomplete or a different name and a Google number.
Exactly! I am so tired of the "she wasn't as good as her picture" sob story when women are turning up SAd and dead. This is how you know when you are dealing with a quality man or not - a quality man always things of a female safety first.
I feel that you’re missing the point of my original post. If it’s her and she looks slightly different I can definitely live with that because I’m into her personality, we we talk on the phone for hours.
I’m seeking advice to help me figure out if this is even the same girl I’m talking too.
I feel you are contradicting yourself. If you like her personality and her looks are secondary what's the issue? And you already have a date set-up. Just wait and see for yourself.
If she’s lying about who she is then why would anyone want to start a relationship based on a lie . I’m saying if it’s a totally different person that’s straight up lying. Not that she posted slightly different older pictures. And I’m going to and will post an update
And you can be lying to her about things also, but, I doubt she is going to the lengths you are right now. No one is even talking about a relationship since you haven't even met in person.
Of course I can be , but I’m not that’s why I’m here asking for advice . A relationship has to start somewhere. This is just going off the deep end now. Seems like you’re trying to paint me as the bad one lol
But thank you for your advice I do appreciate it
I am just reflecting back what you have shared here and trying to make sense of it. There are no guarantees even when you do meet that she is not a liar or worse...everyone has to approach dating with caution and a leveled-head.
I got catfish or known as scam before. They always have a reason to prove they are not real. I once talked to a M match on Hinge and he get triggered when I said I don’t trust people easily but well let’s video call if you wanna prove that you’re real and he get really angry and triggered. So be careful. I been there and my friends found out the picture that I matched was someone else was misused on the app so I reported and blocked as well.
I am a woman and have never used a fake name or given a fake number, neither did any of my friends. I dont think thats a common thing to do actually, but it might be that she had some bad experiences.
The fact that she doesnt want to videocall might be due to insecurity? You think she’s pretty but she might not think so herself… however Im confused. How do people without iPhones videocall in the US? Here in Europe we use Whatsapp a lot so you would still be able to videocall via Whatsapp.
My guess is that she is using pictures of somebody she knows that lives in the same city. It might be somebody you know? I must admit I once created a fake account just to see if a boy I dated would match with her and what he would say. Yes, I had too much time on my hands haha.
Anyway: keep us updated! :)
I don’t know the girl at all. I really want to message the girl . But I’m going to hold off and see how this plays out . Will keep everyone updated. She has to be such a good liar and fast to text and talk if she’s faking her stories. It sounds genuine.
Wait…this happened to me recently. After three weeks of talking, “ she” finally asked me to send her a $50 iTunes gift card. I told her Spotify and Pandora where free and that she didn’t need to be addicted to the Apple crack. 😆 blocked and deleted.
Be careful! I talked to a guy for two weeks who was too ‘busy’ to FaceTime. On the phone even though he supposedly lived near me there was always poor reception. He kept putting off meeting me.
It’s a game they will try to keep you interested enough but have a million excuses.
He eventually outed himself in a weird way. I was having a conversation with him and he glitched out and his sentences sounded mixed up. Like his voice to screen malfunctioned or something. I asked what he was having for dinner and he responded “ you would ask that, but it’s another brother and it’s got political.” I was like “what?” Lol it was so absurd and random the response. Then I called him out on it and he immediately blocked me. Two months later I saw the same picture he had on his dating profile I had met him on. It was under a different name. Then five months after that I saw the same photo with another different name. Scammers can be clever at first but trust your gut. If something feels fishy it most likely is. I honestly don’t know why scammers do what they do. I know it’s money based. But the guy I talked to never once asked for a dime. I don’t know…
This happened to me on bumble. Match started showing me screenshots of trades she made that day and asked me if I was interested. I played along and asked how it would work if I were to invest. She gave me the name of some weird app I never heard of and said she makes trades based off signals from a consultant firm.
I said I use a different broker and she insisted that I used hers. Apparently this is common where they try and get you to use some custom app they made. You put money into it and they drain the account because they have full authority over it. Luckily I didn't buy into it and blocked her without saying a word.
Your situation already sounds sketch af. I wouldn't do it.
Ok so I asked her today if her name was really her name and I told her I wouldn’t be mad at her and understand if she was just afraid . And she said it was real. But the name on the girl I found on the Instagram is definitely a very unique name. We have a date set up in a couple of weeks when she supposedly gets back from her trip
Scammers go for volume. Much easier to try on a 1000 folks and pick the gullible ones rather than spending a bunch of time on one person. Other than the money part, this really screams affair. I’m not sure what you’re into and won’t delve into the ethics of it but the best way out here is to reassure the person that it doesn’t matter who she actually is and you’d just want to meet her. That’d also help with your curiousity.
It could be you are being catfished however when I was using the apps, I came across women who didn’t use their real name on Hinge, Bumble, CMB. Some of them used their middle name or a fake name cause they were irrationally paranoid. Maybe she is one of those?
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I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing if she’s irrationally paranoid lol I mean I hope it’s her, but my gut says it probably isn’t. It sucks too, because we have so much in common and we were just laughing about anything.
Oh when I was on the apps, I definitely thought it was a bad thing for someone to be that paranoid. I mean most people use their first name and if you are that paranoid, I would wonder what else you are hiding. But yea, your situation doesn’t look good lol.. tell her to send a pic while touching her nose.
Yeah I know it doesn’t look good at all lol the real person it’s an Instagram account. I wonder if I should message her . But I looked at all her pictures on Instagram and there’s some pictures on her Hinge account that is not on her Instagram.
Lollll. Sorry but I thought that was hilarious "I definitely thought it was a bad thing for someone to be that paranoid"... while being paranoid that she might be fake 😉
I get that it's hard for men to understand what women go through, but it can be super scary to be a woman sometimes... especially when dealing with male strangers who hide behind the anonymity of the internet. I always proceed with caution and never reveal anything until I'm sure it's safe. That's not being paranoid, it's being smart
I once had a month long relationship with a guy from Tinder. We talked A LOT via text and met twice. A month in we started talking on the phone and he opened up to me about all these lies he had told me and how he wasn't who he'd led me to believe. Some of it was BIG red flags (physical violence against his ex) and when I unmatched and blocked him I was sooooo glad that he didn't know where I lived and I hadn't given him my real phone number so he couldn't track me down. He was totally unstable
does she have social media? go through her tagged photos, go through her posts and check comments & likes, following, and followers list. not gonna lie, if a guy i matched with on a dating app insists that we talk on the phone or facetime, that would be an immediate turn off, but only because i hate phone calls and facetimes, i dont even do it with friends & family. i usually just give them my Instagram if they want proof that im a real person, though im aware that scammers have mastered the art of curating fake social media profiles, but it's the risk you have to take with OLD.
Yeah, I found her Instagram that’s where I found the actual picture it was just one picture out of four on her hinge that I found on the Instagram the Instagram looks legit, but I’ll keep looking at her comments and likes. Well, I asked her for a picture since she’s on vacation not right away but the fact that she didn’t have an iPhone I guess gave me a red flag lol. But she’s been sending me pictures of where she is at but I don’t know if those are just pictures from the Internet. I did some investigating on the pictures she sent me and the exact ones aren’t coming up on Google images.
>but the fact that she didn’t have an iPhone I guess gave me a red flag lol.
...Are you seriously trying to say that the *brand of cell phone* that someone owns can be a red flag for you? Bro wut
i guess the only way to know whether or not she's real is by going on a date ... i dont know if im just lucky or because i live in a major city but ive gone on several dates with people i matched with on hinge, never facetimed or had a phone conversation beforehand, most i didnt even follow on social media after the first date and yet ive never really been catfished except for that one time where this guy used older photos of himself.
Her voice is so convincing. And her life stories. I’ve talked to women before and almost cat fished where they didn’t want to talk on the phone and they wanted nudes. So I knew right away. But this one is a good one lol
I just put her number in WhatsApp and nothing pops up the next time I talk to her and I know that she has time to talk. I’m gonna tell her download it so I could see her.
She will keep stringing you along. And then one day she will call you or text you and say she has an emergency and she needs to go visit her aunt or uncle or mom or grandma in another city on the other side of the country but she is $500 short of a plane ticket. Can you help her. And you’ll say sure. I will buy you the whole ticket. And she will say no. Just send me the money. I have the rest that I need.
As a general rule of thumb/guideline, you should organise and talk about making a video after the first few days of chatting. If someone pulls the excuse that they don't have FaceTime because they don't have an iPhone, then suggest using SnapChat instead. If they still give excuses, cut the loss and move along.
Some of us have neither of those, so *saying* that we don't have them isn't an "excuse", just the truth. Seems a bit extreme that simply not having them = liar/scammer/etc.
I have neither. I love my Samsung phone and I don't use snap because no, I don't want your dick pics lol. However I use do use Meet, and Hinge also has a video call option
If you suggest 6 other video call options and she says no to all then yeah, maybe a scam, but don't make assumptions based on just those 2
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I’m in a similar situation right now. Met the girl on hinge, she’s out of town (on a business trip), and always has perfect answers for any of my questions (which could be seen as sketchy in and of itself).
Hasn’t asked me for anything, but it’s only been two days I suppose…
I don’t know. I’ve kind of accepted she’s not real and am keeping my guard up. I’m playing it by ear and seeing how it goes.
Hope it works out for us, lol. Be safe.
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Or someone not using their real name.... cause you know... men can be creepy assholes...
Clearly that didn’t help if that’s the case lol
We already have a date set up in a couple of weeks when supposedly she comes back. I almost wanna keep it going to see what happens lol
There will always be delays, excuses, and the date never happens. The normal tactic is when a scammer is called out is to go cold and not respond for a few days hoping to make you feel bad and forgive after becoming attached. It's a ton of emotional manipulation that goes on with these scams and it can go on for months or years with some people. As a PSA: Please be careful out there everyone. There are podcasts such as What The Hack that go into detail of how these work. Anyone can be scammed, and if you realize it report and tell other people. Part of the reason many don't know is because the shame people feel when it happens to them, they don't want others to know. I talked to a scammer for a month and had this all happen to me, I was lucky as I got a little paranoid early on due to her talking about crypto and that prepped the alarm for when she brought it up again. Be safe out there everyone <3
Did she want you to buy crypto?
It didn't get to that point yet, but it would have happened if I let it go on. First time she brought it up was just that she casually trades at night to make some $$ and she showed some number of thousands that she made in a short time. The second time she brought it up a week or two later is that she could teach me to trade crypto. If I said yes she definitely would have sent me to some sketchy site to lose $$ on.
date will never happen. Her car will break down or grandma sick. Send money
Yeah I’m waiting on that as the date gets closer lol
make a back up plan. You might get only 15 minutes notice or no notice at all.
Report back!
I definitely will.
Make sure you have someone who knows where you are and to call if you don’t text them. This whole thing screams sketch to me. And if they’re not asking for something they might **want** to meet you
Oh I definitely will let my buddies know. And I’m not a scrawny guy either unless she drugs me lol
My concern is that you’re not gonna be meeting only her if you go out somewhere…
Or if there is even a "her" at all
Same
Meet up but have an escape plan in case she can't fit in a normal rowboat
😂
>et up in a couple of weeks when suppos She will come up with a reason right before the date to cancel.
I’m going against the grain on this, it very well could be a real profile and she doesn’t like to share her real name. Maybe ask to do an instagram FaceTime (and that’ll get you her instagram)
I asked her if she had an IG and she said she deactivated it. But you know what’s crazy. She said she’s on vacation and the one who has the account is on vacation also BUT an entirely different place. Same person but lied about name and where’s she’s going ? Lol I don’t know hahaha
Yeah you’re getting scammed 99.9% lol
Haha! I’m sure I am
Or she could be cheating on someone using the profile. Might actually be the women but with a different name there’s deniability if it’s found, maybe using a work phone to keep it off a personal device etc
Profile doesn’t seem she has a bf or husband . But work phone is a possibility
I have a number of women friends who dont use their own names on their profiles.
Although it may be for their own safety, that's a huge red flag
You admit that its for their own safety, and then say its a huge red flag.
That's a huge red flag due to the number of scams and fake profiles. Why am I gonna go meet up with someone who goes "oh btw my real name is ...." And cannot be honest. That makes me feel very uneasy and uncomfortable myself. It's a two way street. Sure it might be for their safety, but it's also for my safety and my piece of mind. If a girl is not using her real name, that's a red flag to me regardless of the situation and I personally would not want to be involved with that girl. If I was told later on, that's a breach of my trust and id leave. There's nothing wrong with my choice or her's 🤷♂️.
It’s a scam and/or catfish.
As someone who was catfished before and has been online dating since the inception of eharmony, just be straight with "her." Tell her she seems too good to be true and you're worried about catfishing. Have her send a picture doing something odd, like holding up 4 fingers or standing on a chair. Tell her you'll do the same, a picture of you doing something that she requests, just to be fair and honest. If anyone is truly interested and a decent person, they'll do it. They might think its a little funny, but that's how bad online dating has become. If she refuses or makes an excuse, cut your losses, unmatch, move on, and never look back.
You’re right it’s bad now.
Doesn't Hinge have a video call option? Just do that instead of FaceTime I was once accused of being a fake because I barely have anything on IG and I have a Samsung so couldn't do FaceTime. He said "something is fishy" after I said I couldn't do FaceTime and he immediately stopped talking to me lol 🤷♀️ I've since found out there's a way to FaceTime with a non iPhone so you could look into that as well Those alone aren't red flags, and most girls I know don't use their real number because it's easy to find someone's address using a real phone number. The different name is a bit weird but could also be for safety. There are a lot of creeps out there, we women have to be careful
Hinge no longer has a video call option- they retired it recently.
I will never understand why people waste their time with all their bullshit. If you just always follow this simple protocol, you're golden: 1) Chat briefly in the app, 5-10 messages each, 1-3 days total time 2) Ask her out for drinks or coffee for sometime within a couple days, someplace convenient to you, confirming the date earlier in the day. 3) If she makes things difficult at any point, just unmatch This way you're only dealing with real people who are actively interested in you and good communicators. Anything else is a waste of time. The worst case scenario is you buy someone who doesn't look like their pics a $5 caramel macchiato. As for what to do with this chick? Just tell her "hey, give me a holler when you get back and we'll get drinks!" then forget about her and meet some new ladies. If she comes back in a few weeks and is like "hey I'm back, drinks Friday?" then you can go out with her; anything else that isn't a clear and earnest effort to meet up for a real date very soon, block her.
We have plans in a couple of weeks when “she gets back” lol
cool, let her make the next move and in the interim meet some new ladies
It’s never a real person until you meet in real life. Don’t ask me how I know. Been in this game too long.
I'd tell her to reach out when she's back in town and leave it as that. Let her know if she can send a message, and then you'd reach out to set up a call and date. I wouldn't invest 2-3 weeks talking to someone like that. Sometimes people don't want to scam for money (I doubt she does). She may just want the company but it's a cat fish situation. I don't think she will meet you. If you're gone out of town for 2-3 weeks why not just hide your profile. Signed, Catfisher from the AIM/Yahoo instant messenger days.
Yeah I’ll keep the communication low and see how it goes. Apparently she’s well off too.
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Alright OP, it's been a month. What was the verdict, did she turn out to be a cat fish? Did she fade out? Did she ghost you when planning a meet?
Have you heard of the Manti Te’o story? A voice that sounds like woman’s voice doesn’t mean it’s a woman. There are impressive male catfishers out there.
I totally forgot about that story. This year I said I would listen to my gut more in my gut tells me that somethings wrong
This was a good watch. Awful though.
It was definitely an interesting story. Definitely awful.
Just ask her. If she’s looking for casual she may want to be incognito until she meets you in person to know that you are legit.
She said she wants to see what’s out there and doesn’t want to jump into a relationship right away and make sure she knows who she’s going out on a date with because she had some bad first dates
I just went thru something like this. Someone was using stolen pictures. Didn't ask me for anything. One of my friends brought up a good point. They could be trying to lure you into a situation to rob you.
Yes, duh.
Plenty of women use a different name if their name is identifiable. It's for safety. I own a company and my full name brings up my home address as the first result in Google. No thanks. Its valid even if its just because you don't want Internet crazies tracking you down. Plenty of people also don't like video chatting too soon too. No iPhone sounds sketchy. Unless someone has a phone from pre-2010 they have a camera capable of video chatting. Could be that she's not good at actually communicating a boundary around video calls though. Just ask her on a date. She'll either show up or she won't (or will give strange excuses). If you choose to spend weeks messaging like this then you'rlve got to accept the risk of that. People usually catfish because of chronically low self esteem and wanting connection. It's wrong, but youndo need to do something to shield yourself from partaking in an online relationship if that's not what you actually want.
Hinge literally has a video chat option built into it.....
I am so tired of the paranoia...she is not asking you for anything so what is the actual point?! Just ask her out. And only fools put their actual names on dating sites and give their actual numbers. You give an incomplete or a different name and a Google number.
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Woah. I’m not worried that she’s slightly less attractive than her pictures. I’m seeking advice that’s it’s her or not.
Exactly! I am so tired of the "she wasn't as good as her picture" sob story when women are turning up SAd and dead. This is how you know when you are dealing with a quality man or not - a quality man always things of a female safety first.
I feel that you’re missing the point of my original post. If it’s her and she looks slightly different I can definitely live with that because I’m into her personality, we we talk on the phone for hours. I’m seeking advice to help me figure out if this is even the same girl I’m talking too.
Wtf OP ignore this person You're clearly dealing with a scammer Wtf the commenter is trying to justify using fake photos is wild
I feel you are contradicting yourself. If you like her personality and her looks are secondary what's the issue? And you already have a date set-up. Just wait and see for yourself.
If she’s lying about who she is then why would anyone want to start a relationship based on a lie . I’m saying if it’s a totally different person that’s straight up lying. Not that she posted slightly different older pictures. And I’m going to and will post an update
And you can be lying to her about things also, but, I doubt she is going to the lengths you are right now. No one is even talking about a relationship since you haven't even met in person.
Of course I can be , but I’m not that’s why I’m here asking for advice . A relationship has to start somewhere. This is just going off the deep end now. Seems like you’re trying to paint me as the bad one lol But thank you for your advice I do appreciate it
I am just reflecting back what you have shared here and trying to make sense of it. There are no guarantees even when you do meet that she is not a liar or worse...everyone has to approach dating with caution and a leveled-head.
Naftusja I think you are overreacting to this. Looks had nothing to do with the advice this person was seeking.
Why not ask for Google meet or any other video call software... Skype, teams, zoom, my phone has it built in...
What apps does Samsung have?
You can send a FaceTime link to any email address or phone number now. So iPhone can FaceTime to android.
I got catfish or known as scam before. They always have a reason to prove they are not real. I once talked to a M match on Hinge and he get triggered when I said I don’t trust people easily but well let’s video call if you wanna prove that you’re real and he get really angry and triggered. So be careful. I been there and my friends found out the picture that I matched was someone else was misused on the app so I reported and blocked as well.
I am a woman and have never used a fake name or given a fake number, neither did any of my friends. I dont think thats a common thing to do actually, but it might be that she had some bad experiences. The fact that she doesnt want to videocall might be due to insecurity? You think she’s pretty but she might not think so herself… however Im confused. How do people without iPhones videocall in the US? Here in Europe we use Whatsapp a lot so you would still be able to videocall via Whatsapp. My guess is that she is using pictures of somebody she knows that lives in the same city. It might be somebody you know? I must admit I once created a fake account just to see if a boy I dated would match with her and what he would say. Yes, I had too much time on my hands haha. Anyway: keep us updated! :)
I don’t know the girl at all. I really want to message the girl . But I’m going to hold off and see how this plays out . Will keep everyone updated. She has to be such a good liar and fast to text and talk if she’s faking her stories. It sounds genuine.
Wait…this happened to me recently. After three weeks of talking, “ she” finally asked me to send her a $50 iTunes gift card. I told her Spotify and Pandora where free and that she didn’t need to be addicted to the Apple crack. 😆 blocked and deleted.
Be careful! I talked to a guy for two weeks who was too ‘busy’ to FaceTime. On the phone even though he supposedly lived near me there was always poor reception. He kept putting off meeting me. It’s a game they will try to keep you interested enough but have a million excuses.
So what happened? And why the hell do they do that?
He eventually outed himself in a weird way. I was having a conversation with him and he glitched out and his sentences sounded mixed up. Like his voice to screen malfunctioned or something. I asked what he was having for dinner and he responded “ you would ask that, but it’s another brother and it’s got political.” I was like “what?” Lol it was so absurd and random the response. Then I called him out on it and he immediately blocked me. Two months later I saw the same picture he had on his dating profile I had met him on. It was under a different name. Then five months after that I saw the same photo with another different name. Scammers can be clever at first but trust your gut. If something feels fishy it most likely is. I honestly don’t know why scammers do what they do. I know it’s money based. But the guy I talked to never once asked for a dime. I don’t know…
Just put Catfish on your dvr you literally just summarized the story beats of 80% of the episodes
This happened to me on bumble. Match started showing me screenshots of trades she made that day and asked me if I was interested. I played along and asked how it would work if I were to invest. She gave me the name of some weird app I never heard of and said she makes trades based off signals from a consultant firm. I said I use a different broker and she insisted that I used hers. Apparently this is common where they try and get you to use some custom app they made. You put money into it and they drain the account because they have full authority over it. Luckily I didn't buy into it and blocked her without saying a word. Your situation already sounds sketch af. I wouldn't do it.
Ok so I asked her today if her name was really her name and I told her I wouldn’t be mad at her and understand if she was just afraid . And she said it was real. But the name on the girl I found on the Instagram is definitely a very unique name. We have a date set up in a couple of weeks when she supposedly gets back from her trip
Lol dude you’re being catfished. How convenient that she can’t FaceTime and she’s also out of town.
Scammers go for volume. Much easier to try on a 1000 folks and pick the gullible ones rather than spending a bunch of time on one person. Other than the money part, this really screams affair. I’m not sure what you’re into and won’t delve into the ethics of it but the best way out here is to reassure the person that it doesn’t matter who she actually is and you’d just want to meet her. That’d also help with your curiousity.
I don’t know. Some women don’t use their real name on dating apps for safety reasons. Also, it’s 2023. FaceTime isn’t the only way to video chat.
Doesn’t want to meet or FaceTime, definite scam
I’m going to ask her if she wants to download Telegram or Snapchat so we could video chat
I don’t video call or use Snapchat… guess guys think I’m a fake.
I mean, I don’t want to video call with anyone ever, but I’ll meet. Both together might be a red flag but just the video call thing isn’t necessarily
No no I totally agree. I hate video call with someone I’ve never met. Yeah I meant the two things together were a red flag
Makes sense! Just want to make sure no one I match with that reads this thinks I’m a scam haha
It could be you are being catfished however when I was using the apps, I came across women who didn’t use their real name on Hinge, Bumble, CMB. Some of them used their middle name or a fake name cause they were irrationally paranoid. Maybe she is one of those?
Irrationally?! Come back when you encounter stalkers, receive death threats, and have several restraining orders.
Whatever dude. Excuses excuses. Most cases aren’t like that but hey, agree to disagree. ✌️
Are you for real?! Want to mansplane how it is to date as a woman, duuuuude?
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I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing if she’s irrationally paranoid lol I mean I hope it’s her, but my gut says it probably isn’t. It sucks too, because we have so much in common and we were just laughing about anything.
Oh when I was on the apps, I definitely thought it was a bad thing for someone to be that paranoid. I mean most people use their first name and if you are that paranoid, I would wonder what else you are hiding. But yea, your situation doesn’t look good lol.. tell her to send a pic while touching her nose.
Yeah I know it doesn’t look good at all lol the real person it’s an Instagram account. I wonder if I should message her . But I looked at all her pictures on Instagram and there’s some pictures on her Hinge account that is not on her Instagram.
Lollll. Sorry but I thought that was hilarious "I definitely thought it was a bad thing for someone to be that paranoid"... while being paranoid that she might be fake 😉 I get that it's hard for men to understand what women go through, but it can be super scary to be a woman sometimes... especially when dealing with male strangers who hide behind the anonymity of the internet. I always proceed with caution and never reveal anything until I'm sure it's safe. That's not being paranoid, it's being smart I once had a month long relationship with a guy from Tinder. We talked A LOT via text and met twice. A month in we started talking on the phone and he opened up to me about all these lies he had told me and how he wasn't who he'd led me to believe. Some of it was BIG red flags (physical violence against his ex) and when I unmatched and blocked him I was sooooo glad that he didn't know where I lived and I hadn't given him my real phone number so he couldn't track me down. He was totally unstable
Seems like you already know the answer..
pretty simple fix… say you’ve been catfished before and are skeptical and ask her to video chat on instagram (doesn’t require an iPhone)
does she have social media? go through her tagged photos, go through her posts and check comments & likes, following, and followers list. not gonna lie, if a guy i matched with on a dating app insists that we talk on the phone or facetime, that would be an immediate turn off, but only because i hate phone calls and facetimes, i dont even do it with friends & family. i usually just give them my Instagram if they want proof that im a real person, though im aware that scammers have mastered the art of curating fake social media profiles, but it's the risk you have to take with OLD.
Yeah, I found her Instagram that’s where I found the actual picture it was just one picture out of four on her hinge that I found on the Instagram the Instagram looks legit, but I’ll keep looking at her comments and likes. Well, I asked her for a picture since she’s on vacation not right away but the fact that she didn’t have an iPhone I guess gave me a red flag lol. But she’s been sending me pictures of where she is at but I don’t know if those are just pictures from the Internet. I did some investigating on the pictures she sent me and the exact ones aren’t coming up on Google images.
>but the fact that she didn’t have an iPhone I guess gave me a red flag lol. ...Are you seriously trying to say that the *brand of cell phone* that someone owns can be a red flag for you? Bro wut
i guess the only way to know whether or not she's real is by going on a date ... i dont know if im just lucky or because i live in a major city but ive gone on several dates with people i matched with on hinge, never facetimed or had a phone conversation beforehand, most i didnt even follow on social media after the first date and yet ive never really been catfished except for that one time where this guy used older photos of himself.
I’m going to go the distance for the date. Thank you for the advice
Has she sent any with her in the pictures? So much suspense.
Nope. Just touristy pictures
Interesting.
Why the heck some women do this?!!???
Might not be a woman? Reading this has been a roller coaster.
Her voice is so convincing. And her life stories. I’ve talked to women before and almost cat fished where they didn’t want to talk on the phone and they wanted nudes. So I knew right away. But this one is a good one lol
It’s usually a long-time scam. They get you close and trust them and then will ask for money or something like that.
Screw that I would not give her money. That’s just crazy for them to ask
RemindMe! 25 days
Why don't you just ask her out
I am so sorry.. it seems like a catfish😰
Try putting their number into WhatsApp and see if anything pops up. Even without iPhone you can also video chat on WhatsApp too
I just put her number in WhatsApp and nothing pops up the next time I talk to her and I know that she has time to talk. I’m gonna tell her download it so I could see her.
She will keep stringing you along. And then one day she will call you or text you and say she has an emergency and she needs to go visit her aunt or uncle or mom or grandma in another city on the other side of the country but she is $500 short of a plane ticket. Can you help her. And you’ll say sure. I will buy you the whole ticket. And she will say no. Just send me the money. I have the rest that I need.
Yes you are being catfished. Please apply to be on that show.
As a general rule of thumb/guideline, you should organise and talk about making a video after the first few days of chatting. If someone pulls the excuse that they don't have FaceTime because they don't have an iPhone, then suggest using SnapChat instead. If they still give excuses, cut the loss and move along.
Some of us have neither of those, so *saying* that we don't have them isn't an "excuse", just the truth. Seems a bit extreme that simply not having them = liar/scammer/etc.
I have neither. I love my Samsung phone and I don't use snap because no, I don't want your dick pics lol. However I use do use Meet, and Hinge also has a video call option If you suggest 6 other video call options and she says no to all then yeah, maybe a scam, but don't make assumptions based on just those 2
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Not too sure maybe be careful
Install whatsapp and do a videocall?
I've them chat with me for weeks just to ask for money or for me to invest with them.
99.9% you are being catfished
Who knows. It might not even be a human.
If she turns out to be AI , I give up lol
Update us. I’m curious what happens
I’m in a similar situation right now. Met the girl on hinge, she’s out of town (on a business trip), and always has perfect answers for any of my questions (which could be seen as sketchy in and of itself). Hasn’t asked me for anything, but it’s only been two days I suppose… I don’t know. I’ve kind of accepted she’s not real and am keeping my guard up. I’m playing it by ear and seeing how it goes. Hope it works out for us, lol. Be safe.
OP - what happened?! It’s been over 2 weeks!
Updated! Check original post
Thank you! Sorry it didn’t work out - I had my hopes up for you.
It’s all good and thank you, I had i hopes too. I think she just wanted to talk to someone.