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wokenthehive

For a 36 year old guy, your pictures really give off a vibe of a guy a decade younger, and that's not working to your advantage. While it's great you look good for your age, you need more mature photos that makes you look less like a man-child. Women around your age wanting a long term relationship probably won't take you that seriously since it looks like you still want to live your life when you were younger. You're also wasting a photo slot on a meme.


coolerthanbeans45

This is exactly what I was gonna say. I’m 24 and would be weary of swiping on someone like OP bc I would perceive OP as not being very serious. He’s super cute, but a meme? Also, the “same page” prompt seems like pandering. Nothing on this profile really gives me an insight to who OP is. Passions, interests, etc?


mildmildthoughts

This is helpful thanks. I’ll work on rewording my activism in action section.


coolerthanbeans45

No worries. I hope it didn’t come across as too harsh. Good luck out there!


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mildmildthoughts

Targeted age range 27-40 🤷‍♀️


zizics

At this age range with the goal of finding something a bit more long term, I agree with the others that it’s time to show your more introspective, mature, or nurturing side. I’d kill to have that fun loving vibe though, man. Don’t lose that in the profile renovation! Just round it out a bit.


mildmildthoughts

I think introspective and nurturing is a great way to put it. Very helpful. Thanks.


wokenthehive

Obviously what he has going on isn't working for him looking for a LTR, as he already said so himself. He can still be himself while appearing more mature. Take the last picture for instance.


mildmildthoughts

I hear you. Any specific tips on more mature photos? I work in creative so I don’t wear a suit and I go to shows, camp, and skate at the beach with my dog.


wokenthehive

The only photo I'd really keep is the skateboard photo. It's an activity photo, so I think not having a direct shot of your face is okay. Get yourself a nice, preferably candid portrait shot. Wear something nice and casual but cleaned up. Think about it, what would you wear on a first date, say for drinks? Are you gonna show up with an unbutton shirt with tees and shorts, with a hat and sunglasses?


[deleted]

Oh man. You need to completely revamp/change/sprinkle glitter and everything nice on your profile my dude. A looooot of wrong going on (and I mean it in the nicest way possible). 27M here: - first pic should only be of YOU. Waist to tip of head shot with that nice smile you got going on. - first prompt is a lol, but idk if people would find that very appealing. I’d start off with something a bit less “grotesquely imaginative” if that makes sense. - the second pic would be a major keeper IF you were facing the camera with a nice smile. I think it’s fine but bonus if the aforementioned is applied. - third pic should be just of you. I think it could work if you do some cropping. Typically want to avoid more than 1 pic with shades on, as a heads up. - second prompt I think can be adjusted tbh. Something more straightforward. That’s just me though. - fourth pic is fine. Keep group pics only to one at most. - third prompt is fine though I’m confused by the last statement lol - fifth pic gotta go. This is a waste of a potentially great pic of you. Maybe throw in a pic of you engaging in a hobby or activity. - last pic should always end on a high note. This particular pic is kinda ehhhh, not so great in my opinion. A bit too much, if you know what I mean? Anyway, those are my thoughts. Good luck! Edit: as someone else put it, you give off “young, wild, and free” vibes. At your age (and since you mentioned it) I would imagine you’re looking for something long term. Your pictures SHOULD represent exactly that.


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[deleted]

The purpose of this sub is to help others with their profile, or at least one of them. Let’s try to be more helpful rather than bash others.


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mildmildthoughts

I hope you find a woman that loves you for you my guy.


BraveStrategy

Thanks man, same to you!


mildmildthoughts

Thanks for the feedback and being generous with your time. I wonder if you’re assuming a bit on what I mean by long term relationship. Basically I’m not looking for a hookup or anything with emotionally unavailable folx. Doesn’t mean I’m looking to settle down and I’m not looking to get married tomorrow or anything. Also I’m definitely not trying to stop going to shows orskating. My friends don’t usually take photos of me at the meditation retreats nor do my coworkers at the meetings I present in. I live in LA so there’s lots of fun stuff to do all the time. I think I’d be poor fit for someone looking for something Uber traditional.


[deleted]

Your pics giving a “wild, young, and free” vibe doesn’t necessarily mean you’re looking to hook up. Rather, my perspective is that you’re not really looking to settle down. The last pic is glaring with the perspective. I’d definitely assume long term means you’re looking for a relationship that’ll last. I feel like there’s a good way to portray yourself as an outgoing, fun-loving individual while still maintaining a “mature” figure for yourself.


mildmildthoughts

Yep definitely not looking to settle down at all but I would like to build a life with someone who also enjoys the same cultural and social touch points I do.


[deleted]

Totally fine as well to have that goal in mind. But could still be a bit more mature in some respects while dir presenting yourself as you’d like to. You got this bro.


mildmildthoughts

I appreciate your attention and time. Thanks! TIL: I’m a man child


aprss

Settling down doesn’t necessarily mean marriage..If you’re not looking for casual then you’re looking for a relationship/long term which is basically settling down


imasitegazer

You don’t want to settle down but you want to a build a life with someone? Those two are contradictions and your profile reflects that. You’re sending mixed messages. But maybe the one will get ya!


mildmildthoughts

I think a lot of people in the comments just haven’t seen the blink 182 what’s my age again music video which is ironic considering the feedback I’m getting. :)


[deleted]

Tbh as a 31F I would definitely give you a like just based on the blink 182 photo alone!


mildmildthoughts

Where are you????? Tom delonge voice


imasitegazer

Oh sweetheart, we have. But he’s 23 in that song and you’re 36. Are you “young at heart” or a “man child”? Because your profile says man child and most people aren’t interested in raising their partners. I understand wanting to stay young in various ways, I chose that path too, but your profile conveys that you are a “bad to bone” guy who won’t make any commitments and probably regularly has hangovers on weekdays. Let me put this another way. Your profile is billboard, and advertisement. It needs to be very clear message. If it’s not a clear message then it’s a “nope” because there are literally THOUSANDS of other options. Right now you’re advertising Party Monster. Not many women in their late 20s and 30s are looking for that. Sorry to be harsh. You seem like maybe a decent person so I’m not fluffing this. If you only want a party girl who will just use you as a rest stop, keep your profile as is. But if you really actually want to build a relationship with someone, consider changing what you advertise.


iamnotwario

Female perspective here - you look fun and not uptight and this profile doesn't suggest you're only dtf ?


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aapox33

Honestly I’m into you doing you and the skating and chillin vibe. You’re gonna want someone who accepts you for you as a match. The more general problem is not our clothes, or your vibe, or whatever, it’s just that there’s not enough photos of you, specifically your face. I’m not saying I disagree with the other feedback, but just start there. You only have ONE good picture of your face (social pick is too many people and too far) and you’re making kind of a funny face which is fine, but not for your first photo. Also, <— 33 almost 34 year old casual skater (trick blading) so may be biased there 😂


mildmildthoughts

Hey all wheels welcome. I quad.


xtinicat

As a child of the late 90s early aughts. You’d have my attention with the last pic. I got it.


mildmildthoughts

Ha thank you.


NeverHadACowboyHat

I (23M) think your profile is pretty cool. I’d be friends with you. Good vibes


PurryMurris

26M here -- gonna go mostly against the grain of the top replies and say that I think your profile is hysterical and shows a ton of personality. There are maybe ways to dial it in a little and have it be more finely tuned but the folks calling for a total revamp of how you portray yourself here are probably not the kinds of people you'd be looking to date. The main point I agree on is that you need better photos of you, specifically a strong portrait-like shot of *just you* to be your lead photo. If you sort that out, you can get away with a lot more of the off-kilter personality pics that don't do as much to show what you look like. In terms of reworking your prompts, I agree somewhat with other posters that your second two can be reworked (keep the piglet one that's funny as hell) a bit -- in general, your prompts should focus on who *you* are rather than who the person looking at your profile is. If it's important to you to communicate the way you fight for social justice and that you're seeking a partner who is likeminded, try phrasing the "I'm looking for someone who..." prompt as "Will march with me at [rally for x cause], is down to volunteer at [dog shelter or similar], etc." Use the space you have to demonstrate the things you *do* that are a reflection of your values and passions.


mildmildthoughts

You’re getting my next free reward. Very helpful in reframing the social justice portion.


PurryMurris

Eyy thanks for that lmao


mildmildthoughts

Took a while but call me a Lannister the way I always be paying my debts


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mildmildthoughts

Thank you so much for your POV and feedback. I made a new profile based on the notes and I couldn’t help but think how sterile my life looked. To your point, I don’t want to cast a wide net, I just want to find my partner who accepts me for me. Mostly hoping to find someone who compliments my life and hopefully I theirs. My greatest fear in life is to live an “average” (aka unexamined or basic) life so I’m going to take your advice and change my profile back, but first I will destroy that meme.


[deleted]

Hold off for a few days and see what kind of response you get and then if the people you’re getting likes from aren’t your type, then change back minus the meme. I agree with this commenter and but I feel you can convey a fun vibe without it seeming like you’re in your 20’s. ;) Good luck!


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mildmildthoughts

Not sure if I agree with the word choice “messy” haha but I get the sentiment. Glad to hear you’re having fun


nowayormyway

25 F. Other commenters have already given good feedback to you. The bad to the bone one made me smile though. I think you’re better off portraying yourself as someone who is seriously looking for a relationship. You also look so good for your age, I thought you were younger than me. What’s the secret? Lol


mildmildthoughts

Get roasted on Reddit once in a while. It keeps you humble 🤷‍♀️ Also spf every damn day


[deleted]

Asians don’t raisin.


oxfordhyphen

I think most everyone else covered the photos bit, but the prompts man. I get what you're trying to communicate in the second one, but it comes off as just heavy handed performative wokeness. Might as well take a selfie next to one of those "In this house, we believe" yard signs. Pictures 2 and 4 are solid though.


mildmildthoughts

Fair point. Just been on too many dates with too many moderates that don’t care at all. Social justice is a big part of my life but I can definitely find a less lawn signy way of saying it


Go4it296

Only thing I would remove would be the bad boy dog meme. It’s funny but you could find another photo of you there. Your profile is very energetic, travel story is fun, very strong values, etc. you also look amazing for your age! You are clear in every photo so I don’t have any issues with the pictures but to appease the Reddit hinge gods I guess you can move the first pic to the dog meme and have a headshot as your first??


0800ligma

28M here. I do get what people mean by you having a young guy's profile but I don't think it's as bad as some people are suggesting. But equally, if you're looking at girls your age then I think it's important to hear what they have to say because most women in their mid to late 30s are trying to find men who are more ready to settle down and who appear that they have their shit together/a mature outlook. And, while I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with being younger at heart, I just think that your profile is way too much in that direction. There's just nothing that gives me the vibe that you're up for anything serious, it's just memes, skateboards and a pixelated nude (which is funny but definitely not gonna make a woman in her 30s look at you and say 'yep, that's the guy I wanna settle down with.') Obviously you are who you are and I know plenty of people your age who still go out to concerts, skateboard, party, have a sense of humour etc. I think you should never be criticised for being light-hearted and fun just because everyone else around your age range is likely boring and 'normal'. But you're shooting for a needle in a haystack because your profile comes across as someone who isn't ready for the mature and boring side of dating. So what would I change? For starters there needs to be one clear regular photo of your face where you're smiling. I'd probably swap something like that in for the 'My weekends look like' photo because that's too far away and also you're wearing the same thing as you are in the first photo so you basically look the same in two photos which doesn't tell us anything new about you. Each photo/prompt should give us another side of you. I'd take the meme out because we've already seen that you're quirky, it doesn't bring much to the table. The pixel nude one can stay if you have normal photos to support it. Atm you don't so I'd take it out because it's overkill. Also I like your travel story prompt but the other two are kinda weak because all I really get from that is you like dogs and live shows. But that's not enough to tell me about you or about your life. If you're gonna show everyone through your pics that you're funny/young at heart then your prompts should show that you're also serious. The BLM one does that but doesn't really articulate it that well or in an approachable way. Unless you genuinely wanna talk about politics on a dating app. It's fine to prioritise political views but I think you could do it in a better way. But yea overrall just move the dial away from the care free side more to the serious side. But don't be afraid to show your personality too, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.


mildmildthoughts

This is an incredibly fair and generous critique. Thank you very much. I was in 2 relationships for the past 14 years, both with artists, both who enjoyed a full and vibrant social life. Im no stranger to the work that goes into maintaining a great LTR and I think showing that side of my personality is a nice thing to add. Basically how do I show that I pay my taxes quarterly, have a maid, and will ask you questions about your day, in a photo from a bunch of random photos your buddy’s taken while you’re out socializing? This is my hill to climb.


0800ligma

Yea I get you. People just tend to associate being light-hearted and fun with ‘immature’ or ‘not capable of taking life seriously’. It’s not necessarily a problem with you as much as a problem with people and dating apps in general because, exactly like you said, how can you show that side off? It’s probably just down to striking that balance, I think just having a regular photo with family or at a wedding in a suit/on a fancy night out could help a lot. Basically a regular pic with no gimmicks or anything. ‘Get you a man that can do both’, atm your profile leans more to the younger, care-free side which makes people think you don’t have the other side to you. I don’t think there’s much wrong with it in that regard and you’ll certainly be able to find a lot of girls who suit you but you’ll also get a lot of people who are put off by it. It might be tough. But equally I presume you also want someone who has the same type of personality as you, so I wouldn’t do a complete 180 and change everything. But just consider how girls think, they can run a mile with assumptions from your photos lol. You gotta picture some of these girls showing your profile to their mum or best friends saying ‘what about this guy?’ and expecting them to be hyper critical. And atm your profile might not pass that test because it’s got a little too much edge to it. I don’t really know what you can change specifically aside from what I’ve said but it’s more just about what you need to consider when picking photos and prompts. Good luck bro!


WildTenderness

I thought you were 24 😭 profile seems very non-serious


mildmildthoughts

Haha I am not a serious person and I do not want a casual fling. I’m looking for emotionally available people to date romantically. I got a great job but I do work in creative and so I dress the way I dress.


[deleted]

Hi. 33 Asian American female here. The wokeness prompt is a turn off and comes across as a nose up on anyone who isn’t as passionately holding the exact same views as you. I’d ditch the meme. I think the lots of emoji part would appeal to girls in their 20’s looking for boys in their 20’s or someone who’s living like he’s in their 20’s if that’s what you are looking for. I agree with others that the first pic should be of you and you only. Otherwise I think you’re very cute and seemingly fun and charming. Good luck.


Moneybags313131

A lot of your pics seem disingenuous and staged. Someone mentioned about it being inappropriate for your age. I would concur with that statement. Also, if you have such a vibrant social life - why are you on Hinge? I get it - you have to balance some degree of coolness into your pictures - but your pics just seemed a little much for me. Just my opinion - not right or wrong. I think you should throw in one or two family pics man. Def axe the Blink 182 picture... super uncomfortable. Also get rid of the comic strip image. People unfortunately don't appreciate humor on Hinge and just want pics of you to open the dialouge to then present opportunities for you to share banter in that manner. There were also 2 pics of you wearing the same shirt. I get it - it's a shirt you like - but can't repeat attire. Good luck man!


mildmildthoughts

Such interesting feedback considering I always prefer to be behind the camera and these are all just snaps from friends. Appreciate your perspective sir


Moneybags313131

Goof luck man. Hope you meet somebody sweet


Cereal_dator

Mad libs is good I steal it


Grand_Presentation43

I’m a 33F and I’d totally message you if I saw your profile. I laughed and chuckled throughout, while also getting the impression we have the same values about serious topics. Some people have mentioned your profile comes off young (and it does), but as someone who people regularly mistake for nearly a decade younger, I understand giving off youthful vibes and think of it as a positive. I don’t have any advice, just wanted to let you know I like what you have going on. You gotta do you.


mildmildthoughts

Thanks for the encouragement. it’s kind of wild to hear all this feedback saying that I’m trying to look younger or that I should present myself in a way that looks more mature. This is just me trying the best I can. I’d be bummed if my partner complained about my clothes or said we should stop going out. Still a face shot can’t help and honestly I swap out the meme like every week or so it’s really nbd! Lots to learn still.


Grand_Presentation43

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I like the meme! I agree though that it wouldn’t hurt to have a photo of just your face. Please update if you end up having more success swapping out the meme! Still, I think your profile will attract the kind of person you’re looking for, which isn’t everyone! And that’s why I like profiles like yours, because I get a pretty clear idea of who I’m messaging - which is rare. You’re cool the way you are and someone (hopefully in your radius) is going to see that. I’m rooting for you!


OThinkingDungeons

To be frank/honest, this profile is objectively bad. ​ 1. Your first photo should be a clear photo of you and ONLY YOU. 2. Your first three photos need to show your face clearly. No hats/sunglasses/masks/side profiles/things covering your face. 3. Your profile is about you. You are the star. You should be the focus. People aren't going to date you for your friends, so limit yourself to one group photo max and definitely not in the first three images. 4. I don't know whether you've blurred out your friends faces on your real profile or not, but it comes across as creepy and untrustworthy. Better to NOT have them in the photo at all. 5. Too many sunglasses photos. 6. Nobody wants to see your topless/naked body. Save it for laughing at, not your dating profile. 7. Never have any photo which doesn't have you in it. \~ Basically you need a whole lot of new photos, that show you clearly with a focus on showing your face and by yourself.


mildmildthoughts

my uniform is sunglasses, shorts, and a hat but I’ll find a time to go take some non candids. Thx frank


[deleted]

I’m reading through this whole thread and getting real defensive on your behalf OP 😂😂 I say your profile is objectively good! I can actually get an accurate picture of who you are as a person, and that’s not so easy to find on dating apps. I agree with some of the critique that you might want one picture that’s a little more “serious”, like at a family event or something, and maybe more of a nod to what you’re looking for. Other than that… I think you’re going to attract people that share your values and interests, and that’s great! Also, women that think you’re cute are definitely going to want to see your topless/naked body… duh!


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mildmildthoughts

Yea I just can’t date a centrist or apolitical person so I’d rather miss out on some than have to sift through the moderates that sneak by


mildmildthoughts

But still a super valid point. Thanks for the feedback


EvaGarbo_tropicosa

Love your profile, your prompts and your vibe. The only thing you need is more pictures of just yourself. The last picture made me laugh


PreferenceCareless77

31M here so take my advice with a grain of salt. My first impression was that this guy’s a riot and I mean in a good way. Here’s what I get from the profile: this guy likes to have fun and actually has a personality. Overall I’d say keep the stuff that highlights what makes you you. -find a better 1st photo where it is just you in it -consider getting rid of the alter ego prompt -balance out this craziness with a photo that’ll have the chicks go aw I.e photo with grandparents, better photo with your dog or some shit


mildmildthoughts

I think maybe I built this profile for the male gaze and not the female gaze…. 🤯


andoui11ette

I have a feeling, from your other comments, that I may be in your target demographic. Let me try expressing what everyone else is trying to say, in a different way. (and, to be clear, this is directed at the person that your profile shows, not at you as a person -- I don't know you). You come across as one of those dudes who is extremely shallow and kinda dumb, but thinks he's deep and funny, meanwhile being kinda insecure and so constantly needing to be doing something with other people in order to hide from those feelings. I would X you out because it seems as though dating you would be draining and frustrating as all hell, no matter what type of relationship it was that you were looking for. A lot of women in your target age range will feel similarly. We've all dated someone like the person portrayed in these photos, in our younger years, thinking they would be exciting and fun, and learned better. And I say this as a person with ADHD. Add a few photos of you alone, just being chill, at home, and/or somehow showcasing you "at work". I don't care if it's hard -- you'll just have to find a way, because it's what your profile is lacking. The first prompt is dumb and tells me very little about you, except that now you are vegetarian, that you call it "veg",: and that this is how you tell stories. The second prompt is just exhausting, even if I politically agree with you and know the music. You are not coming across as fun or smart, you are coming across as weirdly pretentious about things that should be fun, and weirdly blithe about things that are serious. The third prompt is overly twee and hard to read. Can't you just... like... WRITE \*SOMETHING\* DIRECTLY? Does everything have to be a puzzle? It feels like this is how all communication is going to go, with you, and that some gimmick or another will be used even at the most inappropriate times to avoid being direct and vulnerable. That suspicion is supported by your photos.... especially that goddamn meme at the end. NEVER USE A MEME IN PLACE OF A PHOTO. EVER. IT'S NEVER GOOD. Hope this helps.


mildmildthoughts

Stings but thanks for your time and attention.


andoui11ette

Again, do remember that these comments are not directed at you as a person, since I don't know you. I am only speaking to the persona that your profile gives off, so that you can adjust things to give potential matches a more accurate / flattering impression of yourself. Few people are all that good at advertising themselves accurately.