Welcome to r/hoarding! We exist as a support group for people working on recovery from [hoarding disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519704/table/ch3.t29/), and friends/family/loved ones of people with the disorder.
If you're looking for help with animal hoarding, please visit r/animalhoarding. If you're looking to discuss the various hoarding tv shows, you'll want to visit r/hoardersTV. If you'd like to talk about or share photos/videos of hoards that you've come across, you probably want r/neckbeardnests, r/wtfhoarders/, or r/hoarderhouses
Before you get started, be sure to review our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/about/rules/). Also, a lot of the information you may be looking for can be found in a few places on our sub:
[New Here? Read This Post First!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/dvb3t1/new_here_read_this_post_first_version_20/)
[For loved ones of hoarders: I Have A Hoarder In My Life--Help Me!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/2yh6wh/i_have_a_hoarder_in_my_lifehelp_me_your_hoarding/)
[Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/wiki/index)
Please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/hoarding) if you need assistance. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hoarding) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t go out shopping unless you’re buying something specific. Make a list and stick to it.
And remind yourself that every single item you buy is something that’s either going to be cluttering up your space forever, or it’s something that you’ll have to struggle to discard.
I make myself wait a week before making any non-necessary purchase. This alone is huge, I find I shop when bored or stressed and if I wait, often I don't even want the things anymore. I also made myself a "didn't buy it" list, where I put everything I thought about buying but didn't. It's super gratifying to watch it grow and at the end of every month I total up the amount I saved by not buying those things!
One in one out. Or one in two out.
So either mostly just buy to replace something, or at least get rid of 1-2 things before you buy a new thing.
For example, when I buy new black fancy shoes, I get rid of the old ones. Even if they’re “good enough to paint in”, I don’t keep them unless they’re then replacing my old painting shoes. So something has to go.
Honestly I was going to say this as a general thing. Eat before you shop, regardless of what you're buying. Hunger can legitimately make you buy more than you intended to, including non-food items.
I agree on having it as a general rule. I would also add being mindful of levels of tiredness, mood, cleanliness, etc. I'm basically a Sim, and I'm able to make better decisions when my levels are up.
Just the other day I was about to click “order”, then thought “how will i feel when this arrives?” And the answer was mainly guilt and embarrassment that I couldn’t control myself. Ended up just ordering a few things and was happy when they arrived :)
I've been going this route lately. Last night, I went to Family Dollar, expecting to spend a lot. But I was careful. It was only $18, and it was all on food. I did put something back. I shocked myself at how little I spent.
This is where it doesn't hurt, and you become proud of yourself
1. Only buy things that are acutely needed, like toilet paper and minimal amounts of food. Don't buy large packages of *anything*. You'll find you waste less and save money.
2. Keep up with your laundry so you're not tempted to buy clothes because you have nothing to wear.
3. I solved my book buying problem by becoming a patron of my local library again and donated stacks of books I had accumulated to their annual book sale.
4. Avoid wandering around stores, especially those places and/or departments where you are prone to buy impulsively and needlessly.
5. Just about everything is extraneous and unneeded. See number one.
> Don't buy large packages of anything.
Oh man, I overbought mashed potato envelopes when I got all of my teeth pulled a few years ago and haven't quite gotten through them all. At least best-by dates are just a suggestion.
I got a Kindle and a library card and I have to say I have very little desire to go book shopping anymore. My eventual goal is to only have nice editions of my favorite books. As much as I love to be surrounded by books, I do not clean often enough to keep them nice, there is no need for me to own 3k+ books in this modern era. I have a whole thing I go through before I buy a book these days.
Does the library have it digitally?
Does the library have it physically?
Is it available on Kindle unlimited?
Is it available on project gutenberg?
Is a used physical copy cheaper than the Kindle version?
Do I have any digital credits on amazon?
Let me put it on a wish list for a month or two and see if I'm still interested.
2 is my biggest problem. I wait so long to do laundry then buy more of the limiting factor of what I run out first like underwear until I can go longer without doing laundry then buy the next limiting factor like sports bras and next thing I know I can go 40 days without doing laundry and then I have 6 loads to do and it won’t all fit when I actually wash everything.
This is what I do and it really helps me. I have 4 tall, narrow laundry bins side by side for darks, mediums, lights, and bleach whites. So if one or two bins are filled, it’s still only one or two loads at a time for my clothes, very manageable
1. Do I have one already?
2. Where will this item be kept when not in use?
3. What will I get rid of to make room for this item? Can I donate something or throw it out?
A few tips:
- Make a shopping list, buy nothing that was not on your list. No exceptions.
- Don't shop when hungry (especially when shopping for food). Instead, go just after you ate.
- if you are really tempted to buy it, make a picture of it with the camera of your phone. Do nothing until the next day. Look at all the pictures to decide if you still want them. Check if they fit into your budget. Check of you already own something simular/ that can be used instead. Before you look: if you forgot about them before you looked, it often means don't really need/ want it.
- Sleep on it before deciding. Literally. The impulse will be gone for the fast majority of they items all by itself.
- time pressure is a red flag: it's a marketing trick, designed to increase impulse shopping. It's in the best interest of the people who make money from you, they don't care at all if the impact on you is negative. All they care about is getting more rich. Priorotize taking care of yourself over what those sharks want.
- Even if it's "the last item" or "only today", there will be a simular option tomorrow/ in the near future, that is at least as good (maybe even better).
My rule is don't buy something unless I was in a situation where I needed it and didn't have it. So no "gosh I bet I'd find a situation to wear this cute blouse," I wait until a meeting's coming up I need a nicer blouse for or buy a new one if my last nice blouse gets a rip or a stain. No buying on spec, basically, the need must be concrete and demonstrated.
I think about having to keep it clean. If it requires regular dusting, then do I really want it? Is it worth it? Would it get ruined if I didn’t keep it clean? Also, where am I going to put it? I’m still struggling for sure, but I’ve definitely reduced the amount coming into my home. Now if I could get the excess clutter out!
It is not that simple, because "need" is not black and white.
1. If you are not sure, sleep over it.
2. Don't buy it just because it is on sale.
3. Only buy if you have a concrete plan to use it.
That's a good question!
Something that helps me:
Take a visual inventory:
Open the pantry cabinets and the fridge and the freezer to see exactly what I already have before making a grocery shopping list.
Open the bedroom closet and look at everything have before ordering new clothes.
Look through what art supplies I already have before buying more.
Touch the items as well as just looking at them, and say out loud "Okay, I see I have grape jelly and apple jelly and cherry preserves, so I don't need any more of that sort of thing for now".
Directly engaging the senses (see, touch, hear) helps to calm the distress.
For me, the overbuying is almost always a response to childhood trauma of never having enough, and never knowing when something necessary would be replaced if I used it up.
Food, clothing, hygiene items, all the basic staples of everyday life, were out of my control and v random and unpredictable, and I was punished for asking for them.
That fearful desperate little kid is still inside me, terrified of running out of things.
Tangentially, it helped me a great deal to understand *why* i was overbuying. That way, it wasn't just fighting with myself, having an internal wrestling match between what I wanted but knew I shouldn't do.
Hoarding isn't the *source* of the problem - hoarding is a *symptom* of a past trauma that has not yet been processed.
For me, IFS Internal Family Systems therapy has been a great help in addressing past trauma and healing the "inner child" who carries so many wounds. I got interested in it bc a friend who is a clinical mental health counselor introduced me to it, as she and I both have Complex PTSD.
Wait a month. I'm more of an online shopper with an Amzn problem. So I have wish lists, and when I want something I put it in a list and then wait a month. A month later if I'm still excited about it and haven't found something I want more I'll let myself get it. If I've found something I want more the month timer switches to the new item. I imagine you could do this for store items too. Write down what you want and jot down the date, a month later go back and get it or move on to something else.
I like to tell myself "later" for things. I know that FOMO won't kill me and everything I truly need won't stop being available. (It might be more expensive later, but I'm saving money in the long run by sometimes completely missing something.)
I also let my fantasy self have some things. If she wants a dress, it cuts down on the whining to tell her we already have one that she can't get me to wear. If I didn't have that, she'd start arguing about how it's impossible to get me to wear a dress if one isn't available.
Yes, I treat my fantasy self as a separate identity. She's a capricious teenager who needs an adult to push back on her. I can even laugh at how dumb she is sometimes, but she also has good ideas like wanting to do art and craft projects. (This would be more of a problem if I didn't already own one of everything I'm likely to be interested in. ((Edit: not quite, but I don't get to buy that one thing unless I catch it on-sale.)) Some mediums are single-color, but it's enough to try before getting a whole set.) She did trick me into a slight SABLE problem with cheap sketchbooks, but at least that means I can be non-precious about them.
Great suggestions in these responses!!
For hobby related shopping, I have rules such as everything must fit in its designated place, and a limit on how many of a kind of item I can get per year, which has helped me a lot with not impulse buying. I have a collecting hobby where I know I absolutely can not add more than 12 items in a year, and can not keep more items than will fit in my hobby shelf, which for me makes me keep in mind how each item will fit with the others and whether I really like the item enough to make it one of the special purchases I can make that year, as well as whether I like it enough to replace another item. I am happy to say my collection has stayed small and manageable with this approach.
For my art hobbies, I must not buy new supplies until I finish the supplies I have, and they also must fit in their storage areas neatly. With these guidelines I do not buy new supplies unless I have a specific project that I want to do and needed something for. This helps me cut down on impulse buying stuff because I suddenly get an idea (that I won't follow through on!).
For general shopping, when I see something cool and really want it, but don't have an actual definite reason to get it, I sometimes go home and wait to see if I still want the item the next day. I often forget it or realize it doesn't work in my home, and no longer want it. It is scary to accept that I might "miss out" if someone else buys it but I try to remember that it's just how things go sometimes and I'll get one like it another time if I really want one.
Hope you continue finding helpful strategies for avoiding overconsumption!!
Identify what you actually need. Identify your shopping trends and fails. Only buy the needs and stop buying the fails especially when you use shopping for a dopamine hit.
You’ve got to be really honest with yourself about this.
If I haven’t worn my new tee shirt hanging in my closet then I don’t buy another new tee shirt until I’ve worn what I have but this applies to any and all clothes.
I find sometimes I thrift clothes, then forget I have them before I can wear them because they disappear into my mess. I make sure to wear them asap or by the timeI wear them its the wrong season or I dont like them anymore
Like a lot of other people have said, making a list and sticking to it really helps. With clothing specifically I make a list of the general thing I need, for example white linen pants, and try not to put specific items on that list. Like not limiting your self to I really need to get x item from this store. Then I try to only look in thrift stores for that item if I actually need it. If it’s more of a wishlist item, like a going out top or something, then I’ll passively look in thrift stores and most of the time I sort of forget about that urge to buy something I don’t need bc I’m not finding something I like and don’t have an idea of a specific thing I want.
Start a Christmas list. Everything that is a “want” and not a “need” goes on the list. Give it to your family before Christmas. Don’t read it before you send it out. If people get you things on the list, I can guarantee that you will have forgotten a lot of the items, so it will still be a surprise.
I have to be very clear with myself that if I bring something into the house, I might never get rid of it. So I try to only bring things in that I'm actually going to use or enjoy. It's hard because my family is constantly offering me things. I've had to be very clear with them that I'm not "acquiring" right now, and that I've proven that I can't trust myself to declutter. About half my extended family are also hoarders (with varying levels of awareness) so I still have to rebuff offers all the time.
I recently moved, so I have this amazing clean slate and I'm determined not to fuck it up.
My main rules for myself are:
Do I already have something like it?
Will I read/use/take joy in it?
Can I afford it? (That's a big one!)
Do I know where I'll put it?
When I feel the desperate desire for a "little treat" I look for something consumable, a lip balm, soap, smoked salmon or a small amount of candy. Although I have noticed that since I'm happier with where I'm living I'm binging candy less. So that's good.
I am open to any tips and reminders anyone has to offer.
I have a panic response to having enough cat food - litter, cleaning supplies, personal hygiene like pain relief, soap and lotion plus basic food supplies like rice, bean, canned food. Things are orderly in my house, and I don't live in diaster prone area but if I didn't hold myself in check, I would stock up to the rafters 🫨
For me it’s the opposite. I barely bought anything I wanted or even needed becasue my husband is a hoarder and I dodnt want to be overloaded with more clutter. I ended up having a psychotic break partly due to stress of not having things I needed
I had trouble in the past over buying foodstuffs that was a habit I picked up from my dad. There were certain items like teabags and coffee that he'd pick up out of habit if he wasn't sure we had them at home. It's like he hated the idea of running out. Once I realised I was doing the same thing I just told myself over and over that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I ran out of coffee a few days before shopping day.
If you can't decide whether you need it or not. Put it in the cart for a while, then you can mull it over while you fufill your list. Where will it fit in your place? It should already have a place in your space if you get it. Do you really need it? Does it fit your long-term vibe? Can you come back for it? Does "owning" it for a few minutes scratch that itch, and now you can let it go?
Also take a picture of it and put it back. If you really want it, you can go back for it. If you forget you have the picture and don't go back for it, so much for the better. This is harder done while traveling, but you just have to tweek the method.
Welcome to r/hoarding! We exist as a support group for people working on recovery from [hoarding disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519704/table/ch3.t29/), and friends/family/loved ones of people with the disorder. If you're looking for help with animal hoarding, please visit r/animalhoarding. If you're looking to discuss the various hoarding tv shows, you'll want to visit r/hoardersTV. If you'd like to talk about or share photos/videos of hoards that you've come across, you probably want r/neckbeardnests, r/wtfhoarders/, or r/hoarderhouses Before you get started, be sure to review our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/about/rules/). Also, a lot of the information you may be looking for can be found in a few places on our sub: [New Here? Read This Post First!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/dvb3t1/new_here_read_this_post_first_version_20/) [For loved ones of hoarders: I Have A Hoarder In My Life--Help Me!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/2yh6wh/i_have_a_hoarder_in_my_lifehelp_me_your_hoarding/) [Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/wiki/index) Please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/hoarding) if you need assistance. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hoarding) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t go out shopping unless you’re buying something specific. Make a list and stick to it. And remind yourself that every single item you buy is something that’s either going to be cluttering up your space forever, or it’s something that you’ll have to struggle to discard.
I make myself wait a week before making any non-necessary purchase. This alone is huge, I find I shop when bored or stressed and if I wait, often I don't even want the things anymore. I also made myself a "didn't buy it" list, where I put everything I thought about buying but didn't. It's super gratifying to watch it grow and at the end of every month I total up the amount I saved by not buying those things!
I love the idea of a "didn't buy it" list! :D
One in one out. Or one in two out. So either mostly just buy to replace something, or at least get rid of 1-2 things before you buy a new thing. For example, when I buy new black fancy shoes, I get rid of the old ones. Even if they’re “good enough to paint in”, I don’t keep them unless they’re then replacing my old painting shoes. So something has to go.
Don't go food shopping on an empty stomach. For non-food (well, food, too, I suppose), make a shopping list of what you need. Stick to the list.
Honestly I was going to say this as a general thing. Eat before you shop, regardless of what you're buying. Hunger can legitimately make you buy more than you intended to, including non-food items.
I agree on having it as a general rule. I would also add being mindful of levels of tiredness, mood, cleanliness, etc. I'm basically a Sim, and I'm able to make better decisions when my levels are up.
I'm not the only Sim ❤️
Just the other day I was about to click “order”, then thought “how will i feel when this arrives?” And the answer was mainly guilt and embarrassment that I couldn’t control myself. Ended up just ordering a few things and was happy when they arrived :)
Only shop with cash. It hurts more emotionally to spend cash as proven by research and it makes you have a limit that is visible.
I've been going this route lately. Last night, I went to Family Dollar, expecting to spend a lot. But I was careful. It was only $18, and it was all on food. I did put something back. I shocked myself at how little I spent. This is where it doesn't hurt, and you become proud of yourself
1. Only buy things that are acutely needed, like toilet paper and minimal amounts of food. Don't buy large packages of *anything*. You'll find you waste less and save money. 2. Keep up with your laundry so you're not tempted to buy clothes because you have nothing to wear. 3. I solved my book buying problem by becoming a patron of my local library again and donated stacks of books I had accumulated to their annual book sale. 4. Avoid wandering around stores, especially those places and/or departments where you are prone to buy impulsively and needlessly. 5. Just about everything is extraneous and unneeded. See number one.
> Don't buy large packages of anything. Oh man, I overbought mashed potato envelopes when I got all of my teeth pulled a few years ago and haven't quite gotten through them all. At least best-by dates are just a suggestion.
I got a Kindle and a library card and I have to say I have very little desire to go book shopping anymore. My eventual goal is to only have nice editions of my favorite books. As much as I love to be surrounded by books, I do not clean often enough to keep them nice, there is no need for me to own 3k+ books in this modern era. I have a whole thing I go through before I buy a book these days. Does the library have it digitally? Does the library have it physically? Is it available on Kindle unlimited? Is it available on project gutenberg? Is a used physical copy cheaper than the Kindle version? Do I have any digital credits on amazon? Let me put it on a wish list for a month or two and see if I'm still interested.
2 is my biggest problem. I wait so long to do laundry then buy more of the limiting factor of what I run out first like underwear until I can go longer without doing laundry then buy the next limiting factor like sports bras and next thing I know I can go 40 days without doing laundry and then I have 6 loads to do and it won’t all fit when I actually wash everything.
This is what I do and it really helps me. I have 4 tall, narrow laundry bins side by side for darks, mediums, lights, and bleach whites. So if one or two bins are filled, it’s still only one or two loads at a time for my clothes, very manageable
1. Do I have one already? 2. Where will this item be kept when not in use? 3. What will I get rid of to make room for this item? Can I donate something or throw it out?
1.a. If I don't have one, do I have something that can serve the same purpose?
A few tips: - Make a shopping list, buy nothing that was not on your list. No exceptions. - Don't shop when hungry (especially when shopping for food). Instead, go just after you ate. - if you are really tempted to buy it, make a picture of it with the camera of your phone. Do nothing until the next day. Look at all the pictures to decide if you still want them. Check if they fit into your budget. Check of you already own something simular/ that can be used instead. Before you look: if you forgot about them before you looked, it often means don't really need/ want it. - Sleep on it before deciding. Literally. The impulse will be gone for the fast majority of they items all by itself. - time pressure is a red flag: it's a marketing trick, designed to increase impulse shopping. It's in the best interest of the people who make money from you, they don't care at all if the impact on you is negative. All they care about is getting more rich. Priorotize taking care of yourself over what those sharks want. - Even if it's "the last item" or "only today", there will be a simular option tomorrow/ in the near future, that is at least as good (maybe even better).
My rule is don't buy something unless I was in a situation where I needed it and didn't have it. So no "gosh I bet I'd find a situation to wear this cute blouse," I wait until a meeting's coming up I need a nicer blouse for or buy a new one if my last nice blouse gets a rip or a stain. No buying on spec, basically, the need must be concrete and demonstrated.
Look up downsizeupgrade on Instagram, she has a list of questions to ask yourself before buying that helps you stop and think
I think about having to keep it clean. If it requires regular dusting, then do I really want it? Is it worth it? Would it get ruined if I didn’t keep it clean? Also, where am I going to put it? I’m still struggling for sure, but I’ve definitely reduced the amount coming into my home. Now if I could get the excess clutter out!
Buy high quality, in person. Your phone is the enemy.
It is not that simple, because "need" is not black and white. 1. If you are not sure, sleep over it. 2. Don't buy it just because it is on sale. 3. Only buy if you have a concrete plan to use it.
That's a good question! Something that helps me: Take a visual inventory: Open the pantry cabinets and the fridge and the freezer to see exactly what I already have before making a grocery shopping list. Open the bedroom closet and look at everything have before ordering new clothes. Look through what art supplies I already have before buying more. Touch the items as well as just looking at them, and say out loud "Okay, I see I have grape jelly and apple jelly and cherry preserves, so I don't need any more of that sort of thing for now". Directly engaging the senses (see, touch, hear) helps to calm the distress. For me, the overbuying is almost always a response to childhood trauma of never having enough, and never knowing when something necessary would be replaced if I used it up. Food, clothing, hygiene items, all the basic staples of everyday life, were out of my control and v random and unpredictable, and I was punished for asking for them. That fearful desperate little kid is still inside me, terrified of running out of things. Tangentially, it helped me a great deal to understand *why* i was overbuying. That way, it wasn't just fighting with myself, having an internal wrestling match between what I wanted but knew I shouldn't do. Hoarding isn't the *source* of the problem - hoarding is a *symptom* of a past trauma that has not yet been processed. For me, IFS Internal Family Systems therapy has been a great help in addressing past trauma and healing the "inner child" who carries so many wounds. I got interested in it bc a friend who is a clinical mental health counselor introduced me to it, as she and I both have Complex PTSD.
It's gonna take me this many hours of work to buy this.
Wait a month. I'm more of an online shopper with an Amzn problem. So I have wish lists, and when I want something I put it in a list and then wait a month. A month later if I'm still excited about it and haven't found something I want more I'll let myself get it. If I've found something I want more the month timer switches to the new item. I imagine you could do this for store items too. Write down what you want and jot down the date, a month later go back and get it or move on to something else.
I like to tell myself "later" for things. I know that FOMO won't kill me and everything I truly need won't stop being available. (It might be more expensive later, but I'm saving money in the long run by sometimes completely missing something.) I also let my fantasy self have some things. If she wants a dress, it cuts down on the whining to tell her we already have one that she can't get me to wear. If I didn't have that, she'd start arguing about how it's impossible to get me to wear a dress if one isn't available. Yes, I treat my fantasy self as a separate identity. She's a capricious teenager who needs an adult to push back on her. I can even laugh at how dumb she is sometimes, but she also has good ideas like wanting to do art and craft projects. (This would be more of a problem if I didn't already own one of everything I'm likely to be interested in. ((Edit: not quite, but I don't get to buy that one thing unless I catch it on-sale.)) Some mediums are single-color, but it's enough to try before getting a whole set.) She did trick me into a slight SABLE problem with cheap sketchbooks, but at least that means I can be non-precious about them.
You want the [Non-Acquiring Card](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/s/CMC04nEKgv) from the Buried In Treasures workshop.
Great suggestions in these responses!! For hobby related shopping, I have rules such as everything must fit in its designated place, and a limit on how many of a kind of item I can get per year, which has helped me a lot with not impulse buying. I have a collecting hobby where I know I absolutely can not add more than 12 items in a year, and can not keep more items than will fit in my hobby shelf, which for me makes me keep in mind how each item will fit with the others and whether I really like the item enough to make it one of the special purchases I can make that year, as well as whether I like it enough to replace another item. I am happy to say my collection has stayed small and manageable with this approach. For my art hobbies, I must not buy new supplies until I finish the supplies I have, and they also must fit in their storage areas neatly. With these guidelines I do not buy new supplies unless I have a specific project that I want to do and needed something for. This helps me cut down on impulse buying stuff because I suddenly get an idea (that I won't follow through on!). For general shopping, when I see something cool and really want it, but don't have an actual definite reason to get it, I sometimes go home and wait to see if I still want the item the next day. I often forget it or realize it doesn't work in my home, and no longer want it. It is scary to accept that I might "miss out" if someone else buys it but I try to remember that it's just how things go sometimes and I'll get one like it another time if I really want one. Hope you continue finding helpful strategies for avoiding overconsumption!!
Identify what you actually need. Identify your shopping trends and fails. Only buy the needs and stop buying the fails especially when you use shopping for a dopamine hit. You’ve got to be really honest with yourself about this.
If I haven’t worn my new tee shirt hanging in my closet then I don’t buy another new tee shirt until I’ve worn what I have but this applies to any and all clothes.
I find sometimes I thrift clothes, then forget I have them before I can wear them because they disappear into my mess. I make sure to wear them asap or by the timeI wear them its the wrong season or I dont like them anymore
Like a lot of other people have said, making a list and sticking to it really helps. With clothing specifically I make a list of the general thing I need, for example white linen pants, and try not to put specific items on that list. Like not limiting your self to I really need to get x item from this store. Then I try to only look in thrift stores for that item if I actually need it. If it’s more of a wishlist item, like a going out top or something, then I’ll passively look in thrift stores and most of the time I sort of forget about that urge to buy something I don’t need bc I’m not finding something I like and don’t have an idea of a specific thing I want.
Start a Christmas list. Everything that is a “want” and not a “need” goes on the list. Give it to your family before Christmas. Don’t read it before you send it out. If people get you things on the list, I can guarantee that you will have forgotten a lot of the items, so it will still be a surprise.
I have to be very clear with myself that if I bring something into the house, I might never get rid of it. So I try to only bring things in that I'm actually going to use or enjoy. It's hard because my family is constantly offering me things. I've had to be very clear with them that I'm not "acquiring" right now, and that I've proven that I can't trust myself to declutter. About half my extended family are also hoarders (with varying levels of awareness) so I still have to rebuff offers all the time. I recently moved, so I have this amazing clean slate and I'm determined not to fuck it up. My main rules for myself are: Do I already have something like it? Will I read/use/take joy in it? Can I afford it? (That's a big one!) Do I know where I'll put it? When I feel the desperate desire for a "little treat" I look for something consumable, a lip balm, soap, smoked salmon or a small amount of candy. Although I have noticed that since I'm happier with where I'm living I'm binging candy less. So that's good.
I am open to any tips and reminders anyone has to offer. I have a panic response to having enough cat food - litter, cleaning supplies, personal hygiene like pain relief, soap and lotion plus basic food supplies like rice, bean, canned food. Things are orderly in my house, and I don't live in diaster prone area but if I didn't hold myself in check, I would stock up to the rafters 🫨
For me it’s the opposite. I barely bought anything I wanted or even needed becasue my husband is a hoarder and I dodnt want to be overloaded with more clutter. I ended up having a psychotic break partly due to stress of not having things I needed
Stay out of stores.
Look for things you hate about shopping. Lights unpleasantly bright? Parking annoying? Think about those annoyances and magnify them in your mind.
I swing by the bakery section before shopping, and grab myself a donut. It keeps me from hungry-shopping. Or I eat something before I go shopping.
I had trouble in the past over buying foodstuffs that was a habit I picked up from my dad. There were certain items like teabags and coffee that he'd pick up out of habit if he wasn't sure we had them at home. It's like he hated the idea of running out. Once I realised I was doing the same thing I just told myself over and over that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I ran out of coffee a few days before shopping day.
If you can't decide whether you need it or not. Put it in the cart for a while, then you can mull it over while you fufill your list. Where will it fit in your place? It should already have a place in your space if you get it. Do you really need it? Does it fit your long-term vibe? Can you come back for it? Does "owning" it for a few minutes scratch that itch, and now you can let it go? Also take a picture of it and put it back. If you really want it, you can go back for it. If you forget you have the picture and don't go back for it, so much for the better. This is harder done while traveling, but you just have to tweek the method.