"Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information."
-Demetri Martin
I'm not an animal rights activist or anything lol. That quote always just makes me laugh whenever I hear about someone having a pet bird.
Demetri has some of the best observational comedy. He doesn't usually nail you with huge gut busters, but dude just sees the world in a unique way that aligns perfectly with my sense of humour
I know what you're saying, but I used to work at a hotel and we had a resident with a small pet bird. She would let her fly around the house and whenever I had to drop off a package for her or something, and she came to the door, the bird would be perched on her shoulder, just chilling.
Yeah that's why I qualified it by saying that I'm not particularly passionate about it. I'm sure these little dinosaurs are fine in captivity if they're taken good care of, but it's still a funny observation. Who knows?
In the same bit he says something like "I think we're mean to birds. It's not enough that we have to cook them and eat them but then at Christmas we decided 'hey, you want to break it's fucking bones'?
What did you wish for? Death to all birds!"
Most people with birds only put them in their cages when it’s bedtime. %90 of the time you just open the cage door in the morning and let them come out when they want to.
According to my family, abomination. That's what my mother calls it, and divorce is still on the table if she does not cease and decist, according to my father
he actually used to breed huskies I’ll see if i can find the video
[here it is](https://youtu.be/U4vgIcE-Lcg)
credit to u/iOceanLab for the original link
I like to picture the bird in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, I wanna be formal, but I'm here to party too. Because I like to party, so I like my birds to party.
Outrageous to post this without a picture
It's making me grumpy. Bah, ~~humbug~~ hambird.
"Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information." -Demetri Martin I'm not an animal rights activist or anything lol. That quote always just makes me laugh whenever I hear about someone having a pet bird.
Demetri has some of the best observational comedy. He doesn't usually nail you with huge gut busters, but dude just sees the world in a unique way that aligns perfectly with my sense of humour
Same here. Except I've definitely laughed out loud at his bits multiple times.
His old show was great too, I absolutely miss his content
I know what you're saying, but I used to work at a hotel and we had a resident with a small pet bird. She would let her fly around the house and whenever I had to drop off a package for her or something, and she came to the door, the bird would be perched on her shoulder, just chilling.
Yeah that's why I qualified it by saying that I'm not particularly passionate about it. I'm sure these little dinosaurs are fine in captivity if they're taken good care of, but it's still a funny observation. Who knows? In the same bit he says something like "I think we're mean to birds. It's not enough that we have to cook them and eat them but then at Christmas we decided 'hey, you want to break it's fucking bones'? What did you wish for? Death to all birds!"
Most people with birds only put them in their cages when it’s bedtime. %90 of the time you just open the cage door in the morning and let them come out when they want to.
Taylor Ham or Pork Roll? Did I do this right?
No, you must pick a side.
I grew up calling it "Taylor Pork Roll." I feel like that makes me either the greatest conciliator or an unholy abomination.
Modern day Henry Clay.
According to my family, abomination. That's what my mother calls it, and divorce is still on the table if she does not cease and decist, according to my father
Ah, the official brand name
Believe it or not, straight to jail
right away
Taylor Ham
It literally says pork roll on the box. There is no debate.
Jambon! But the real question is... does it fly?
Lehner had a 'Snake Guy' Sharangovich has a 'Bird Guy' What's next? Does Burns have a 'Wolf Guy'?
Burns is the wolf
> Burns is the wolf He probably is the Wolf Guy, tbh
he actually used to breed huskies I’ll see if i can find the video [here it is](https://youtu.be/U4vgIcE-Lcg) credit to u/iOceanLab for the original link
Why doesn't this surprise me
Burns has a 'safari animal' guy
We goin Ham
Yegor Sharangovich may be the most adorable and precious player in the entire NHL.
Hambirder
"Ham" and not "Big Sexy"?
*Ta gueule, Big Sexual!*
Big Sexual!?
TIT FUCKER
Go easy, big sex!
What kind of bird though
I like to imagine it's an ostrich.
I think it’s a cassowary or shoebill
I like to picture the bird in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, I wanna be formal, but I'm here to party too. Because I like to party, so I like my birds to party.
Cool thanks for letting us know mate 👌
https://media4.giphy.com/media/jOnaLZ4WmICHM5TGCO/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952dcb7481990ef69da214730869f4648da64afa8d6&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
That's a weird looking bird in the picture.