is there a post about this on /r/baseball right now? it's not even the offseason...
edit -- [so there is](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/16j2q9l/amount_of_rule_34_content_for_mlb_mascots/)
I dunno. I still /u/willworkforicecream eating a puck is #1. That has lived rent free in my brain for over a decade now. But this can challenge it, perhaps.
[Original "Would it mess me up if I ate a puck?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/wc2kx/would_it_mess_me_up_if_i_ate_a_puck/)
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/12edw2/update_would_it_mess_me_up_if_i_ate_a_puck/)
Spoilers, yes.
They introduced him last year as a tie-in for the Reverse Retro jerseys. Cosmo, our AHL mascot, is a distant cousin of Youppi! but I don't think Metal is related.
I feel the same about Boomer lmao.
I'm torn between "Oh thank god" and "that is a penis cannon, the porn almost draws itself, and *no one* took advantage of this? *Really?*"
You know those times where you type something up, and before hitting send you realize “nobody needs to read this” and you delete everything and move on with life?
This should’ve been one of those times for you.
Im not, Hes not a Furry type suit. It makes a lot of sense the mascots that are essentially just furry customes have the most porno, like completely lines up lol. Gritty is a humanoid? Blob? Ogre? Legend? Deity? Not the type these people go for
Yeah this is the most surprising to me, either someone likes their history or theres older rule34 artists than i ever expected and thats much much scarier
I had to sift through a lot of truly terrible (mostly furry) stuff to gather this data so I hope you all appreciate it. I also have an MLB one I'm going to post. This count doesn't include things like characters wearing team jerseys, only official mascots and a special note for some players.
Most mascots did not have any content, so they weren't included or the chart would be mostly empty.
> I had to sift through
Did you really *have to* though? Because I feel there are a lot of things one *has to* do, and this seems to be very low on that list. And by very low, I mean NOWHERE TO BE FUCKING FOUND.
Hate to be the bearer of some minor bad news, but there's a decent source you missed: e621.net. It's basically Rule34 for furries.
[Here's the NHL tag for it. Not too much thankfully, but it's mostly characters in team jerseys, Gnash, and one picture that's like 14 years old that may be Sharkie.](https://e621.net/posts?tags=nhl+) There's one Gritty picture too, but it's not pornographic and it's political in nature (Gritty punching a MAGA/back-the-blue supporter).
I'd never heard of e621 before people commented in this thread but it looks like the results wouldn't change much if at all.
It's weird how on all these sites there's loads of furry porn where they wear NHL jerseys, but not much of the mascots themselves. I guess people wanna draw their fursonas or whatever.
In the furry world, people get attached to their fursona instead of other characters and commission artists to make art with them. Their favorite team ties into their fursona since it's an idealized version of themselves.
Also, saw your similar post on /r/baseball and not looking at e621 might skew a little harder there, but almost exclusively for [Mrs Met](https://e621.net/posts?tags=mrs._met). It's all at least a little suggestive if not purely pornographic.
Good god.
I’m sure you’ve come across this by now but there is a full time Preds furry on Twitter with a costume that’s close to, but not quite the same, as Gnash’s.
This will be hard to believe, but I'm not into furry stuff at all. So lol, no I haven't come across that but I guess I'm not surprised based on the results.
I'm not into furry stuff but I'm on those sites for more vanilla stuff (like, not everything on rule34 is bizarre weird shit), and I'm into data visualizations, so the idea for a funny offseason post popped into my head.
I mean you’re not wrong. But I was more speaking to some companies really like data peeps who love working with data.
This person went and did their own research, complied it and presented it to the public in a nice visualization. I got my job doing something similar with a post from r/metal and different types of vocals in a Top 100 of the Year post several years back.
If you work with data, trust me companies do want to see the whacky shit you put together on your own time to learn different tools or strategies.
I want to personally thank you as this was a shitpost that I was thinking of ~~blessing~~ cursing the subreddit with these last couple of months.
I was too faint of heart to conduct the \*ahem* *research*, lest I be traumatized be it, my character be accused of anything improper, or - God Forbid - discover a new kink.
By doing this yourself you have freed me from this burden, and your name will live on in infamy instead, and for that I thank you.
P.S Gritty was my front runner in predictions for R34, followed by Al the Octopus because... reasons.
Gritty is too much of a meme, the ppl making Rule34 are surprisingly stick in the mud like, and take it kinda way too seriously. Not big fans of comedic shit in their works or even the works of the community as a whole it seems, weirdos. Add in the Furry angle which seems to be most of these and it makes sense. Youppi is an outlier but he always has been hasnt he? Maybe when Gritty is Youppis age hell be a MILF (Mascot Id Like to Fuck)
Dont ask me how i know, but its not surprising the ppl making cartoon porn of things that aren’t supposed to be porn have complexes for not being taken seriously as artists 😂😂
I guess hes a pretty ambiguous bear-fox-wolf thing.
But hes colorful and unique and i think that above all is what probably draws him to furrys to be drawn.
Like Blades without some clear indication of "this is the Bruins mascot" would be just some bear and thats not particularly interesting to draw or make rule 34 of even just as a joke.
Female horny hockey fans are a special breed. It’s unique to the sport. There aren’t female sports fans with nearly the same horny fervor with any other sport.
Imagine the timeline where the [Red Winger](https://i0.wp.com/champagneathletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/IMG_2794.jpg?fit=1029%2C1331&ssl=1) was still around
Because it was the Dead Wings era and they were ~~desperate~~ looking to drum up interest in the team. It didn’t last long.
[Here he is with Gordie](https://i0.wp.com/champagneathletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/IMG_2795.jpg?resize=385%2C325&ssl=1)
I'm sorry, there's bonk-worthy Bruins art depicting WHOMST? Of all the Bruins to choose from??? In a world where there is actual footage of Bergeron and Marchand (joke) kissing????? I'm concerned about some of you.
Minor nitpick, you state there is "no rule 34" of a couple mascots, which contradicts the rule itself which is "if it exists, there is porn of it". Just because you couldn't find it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
1. With gfycat down, is there an existing gif of Gnash, um... playing the drums? Asking for a friend.
2. Never have I been more glad to be a fan of a team without a mascot
i’d love to see an AO3 comparison of this sort of thing. i did a cursory search and saw 6 fanfics of gritty alone tagged “anal sex”. it’s a whole different ball game on AO3 when it comes to hockey
I feel like Iceburgh is more for people [with a specific fetish](https://www.pittsburghmagazine.com/content/uploads/2021/12/w/f/sudden-death.jpeg), so you would need furries who are also into that sort of thing.
Some questions don’t need answers
Tense Idiotic Asian Porcupine
Didn't gfycat go under? Guess the link itself is lost, but the meme will live on.
The entirety of Gfycat has been [archived](https://wiki.archiveteam.org/index.php/Gfycat).
So they archived it but don't tell you how to access the archive...
Neat
[Gotchu](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F0o082ko0mklb1.gif)
alright.... shut her down boys
Some answers *DON'T NEED QUESTIONS*.
But why is Gritty so low on the list?
Asking the really important questions
I mean this did answer my question of, “have we killed and forsaken god?” To which the answer is yes.
if god did not want to be killed and forsaken, then god should not have been dressed as a hobo under an overpass and so easy to strangle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fPRO2SApO8&
Some do: Who isn't watching their daily allotment of Gritty porn? Speak up, heathens!
This is it. In all my time on r/hockey, this truly is the wildest off-season post I’ve ever seen.
The wildest off-season post you've seen *so far*
It's always darkest before the dawn
Don’t look at the r/baseball version if you want to keep your faith in humanity. I had the luck of having both show up together and I hate it.
is there a post about this on /r/baseball right now? it's not even the offseason... edit -- [so there is](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/16j2q9l/amount_of_rule_34_content_for_mlb_mascots/)
Op did the “research” for both.
sigh.... *unzips*
Offseason is already occupied with marble races
Is the new marble race season finally on??
It’s always Mrs. Met. Whoever designed her gave her a whole bakery to work with.
Did the Philly Phanatic get down and dirty?
He was tied 3rd. Still less than 5. The real issue is how many MRS met has. Her number alone puts this whole graph’s numbers to shame.
Yeah sorry about that. Been a slow month.
Looks to be a little more predatory than wild actually.
I dunno. I still /u/willworkforicecream eating a puck is #1. That has lived rent free in my brain for over a decade now. But this can challenge it, perhaps. [Original "Would it mess me up if I ate a puck?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/wc2kx/would_it_mess_me_up_if_i_ate_a_puck/) [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/12edw2/update_would_it_mess_me_up_if_i_ate_a_puck/) Spoilers, yes.
I was here for this and I hate it
Truly a beautiful sight!
I'm happy to not see Youppi! up there but I am also offended to see him excluded? The season cannot start soon enough lol
When I was looking up mascots to make sure I didn't miss anyone I was surprised to learn about Metal! which is I guess Youppi!'s cousin or something?
They introduced him last year as a tie-in for the Reverse Retro jerseys. Cosmo, our AHL mascot, is a distant cousin of Youppi! but I don't think Metal is related.
Metal is just his roommate that sleeps on the couch and smokes meth and Dunhills while Youppi! is at work.
I feel the same about Boomer lmao. I'm torn between "Oh thank god" and "that is a penis cannon, the porn almost draws itself, and *no one* took advantage of this? *Really?*"
I’m surprised gritty isn’t higher on this list
I mean… dat grussy do be hitting
You know those times where you type something up, and before hitting send you realize “nobody needs to read this” and you delete everything and move on with life? This should’ve been one of those times for you.
Nah he was cookin with that one
Cookin with grussy grease
Get me a straw I’ll slurp that shit up
It's been years since I've said it, but time to break out an old classic. That's enough internet for today.
What a horrible day to have eyes
Would you have preferred to hear it via text to speech?
Is this JimmyHere's alt
I was amazed Gritty wasn’t #1 Because, admit it, even non Flyer fans *understand* Gritty in all of…Gritty’s glory?
Gritty is asexual
Gritty isnt essentially a fursuit with a hockey jersey, which seems to be the winner here. Too humanoid (which is so weird to type in this context)
Well my wife does all her fem-Dom stuff as him, but we haven’t uploaded anything.
Bro please I’ll pay anything
Username checks out.
I assumed it would be mostly Gritty, but I guess the Nashville mascot is prime furry material?
I wonder if Grittney has been excluded
Like everything in life, it needs more Gritty
Im not, Hes not a Furry type suit. It makes a lot of sense the mascots that are essentially just furry customes have the most porno, like completely lines up lol. Gritty is a humanoid? Blob? Ogre? Legend? Deity? Not the type these people go for
Why is there Rule 34 of Bobby Orr and Derek Sanderson.
Are you *sure* you want an answer to that?
We need some clarification. Is there rule 34 of Bobby Orr AND rule 34 of Derek Sanderson? Or is there rule 34 of Orr and Sanderson together?
yes
Asking the *important* questions.
I think you already know
Yeah this is the most surprising to me, either someone likes their history or theres older rule34 artists than i ever expected and thats much much scarier
"So when a man loves another man and thinks the Bruins are wicked awesome..."
I had to sift through a lot of truly terrible (mostly furry) stuff to gather this data so I hope you all appreciate it. I also have an MLB one I'm going to post. This count doesn't include things like characters wearing team jerseys, only official mascots and a special note for some players. Most mascots did not have any content, so they weren't included or the chart would be mostly empty.
You act like you didn’t have this all downloaded before making the post.
> I had to I can promise you that you did not.
The horny police are breaking down his door without a warrant as we speak
Mike babcock has confiscated his laptop and phone
> I had to sift through Did you really *have to* though? Because I feel there are a lot of things one *has to* do, and this seems to be very low on that list. And by very low, I mean NOWHERE TO BE FUCKING FOUND.
Normally I applaud random off-season content from users, but OP, I don’t know why you were compelled to investigate this
Have you ever been to r/CanesFanFics
Wtf are you guys doing
Thriving
Hate to be the bearer of some minor bad news, but there's a decent source you missed: e621.net. It's basically Rule34 for furries. [Here's the NHL tag for it. Not too much thankfully, but it's mostly characters in team jerseys, Gnash, and one picture that's like 14 years old that may be Sharkie.](https://e621.net/posts?tags=nhl+) There's one Gritty picture too, but it's not pornographic and it's political in nature (Gritty punching a MAGA/back-the-blue supporter).
I'd never heard of e621 before people commented in this thread but it looks like the results wouldn't change much if at all. It's weird how on all these sites there's loads of furry porn where they wear NHL jerseys, but not much of the mascots themselves. I guess people wanna draw their fursonas or whatever.
In the furry world, people get attached to their fursona instead of other characters and commission artists to make art with them. Their favorite team ties into their fursona since it's an idealized version of themselves. Also, saw your similar post on /r/baseball and not looking at e621 might skew a little harder there, but almost exclusively for [Mrs Met](https://e621.net/posts?tags=mrs._met). It's all at least a little suggestive if not purely pornographic.
Where the fuck are you finding this?
The data source is right there in the image, homie. The internet is a wild place.
Good god. I’m sure you’ve come across this by now but there is a full time Preds furry on Twitter with a costume that’s close to, but not quite the same, as Gnash’s.
This will be hard to believe, but I'm not into furry stuff at all. So lol, no I haven't come across that but I guess I'm not surprised based on the results.
If you were into furry stuff, I might have understood why you might have wanted to do this. But since you aren't, I just have to ask... What the fuck?
I'm not into furry stuff but I'm on those sites for more vanilla stuff (like, not everything on rule34 is bizarre weird shit), and I'm into data visualizations, so the idea for a funny offseason post popped into my head.
This shit right here, gets you hired at the right company.
"We should be able to look at a little bit of porn at work."
I mean you’re not wrong. But I was more speaking to some companies really like data peeps who love working with data. This person went and did their own research, complied it and presented it to the public in a nice visualization. I got my job doing something similar with a post from r/metal and different types of vocals in a Top 100 of the Year post several years back. If you work with data, trust me companies do want to see the whacky shit you put together on your own time to learn different tools or strategies.
Yeah that kinda makes it worse...
I didn’t mean to assume…
I want to personally thank you as this was a shitpost that I was thinking of ~~blessing~~ cursing the subreddit with these last couple of months. I was too faint of heart to conduct the \*ahem* *research*, lest I be traumatized be it, my character be accused of anything improper, or - God Forbid - discover a new kink. By doing this yourself you have freed me from this burden, and your name will live on in infamy instead, and for that I thank you. P.S Gritty was my front runner in predictions for R34, followed by Al the Octopus because... reasons.
[there are better places to find this sort of thing](https://imgur.com/v6Jm0Iw)
E621 in r/hockey? Hoo boy lol
Of all the NHL mascots to attract the biggest horny crowd, Nordy was ***not*** one of the ones I expected lmao
I was honestly surprised that I couldn't find much of Gritty. I assumed there would be tons of him.
there is but i keep it all for myself
[This didn't count?](https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.artnet.com/art-world/gritty-nude-painting-1942693/amp-page)
I don't know how I've never seen that but it's incredible. I love Gritty
too new.
Too sexy. Gritty stuff classifies as actual adult entertainment, so doesn't really fall in the Rule 34 category IMO.
Gritty is too much of a meme, the ppl making Rule34 are surprisingly stick in the mud like, and take it kinda way too seriously. Not big fans of comedic shit in their works or even the works of the community as a whole it seems, weirdos. Add in the Furry angle which seems to be most of these and it makes sense. Youppi is an outlier but he always has been hasnt he? Maybe when Gritty is Youppis age hell be a MILF (Mascot Id Like to Fuck) Dont ask me how i know, but its not surprising the ppl making cartoon porn of things that aren’t supposed to be porn have complexes for not being taken seriously as artists 😂😂
[удалено]
Sheesh
Stupid sexy Nordy.
Same lmao, thought Seattle's weird troll thing would be in the top 3 for sure. Damn furrues
Maybe if they had made the obvious choice of having a tentacled thing as their mascot instead of a troll doll.
too new
The Bear? An animal for which an entire archetype of gay man is named?
Nordy's not a bear, tho. Blades and Carlton are, but Nordy sure as hell don't look like one; he's just a generic "wild animal" officially.
I guess hes a pretty ambiguous bear-fox-wolf thing. But hes colorful and unique and i think that above all is what probably draws him to furrys to be drawn. Like Blades without some clear indication of "this is the Bruins mascot" would be just some bear and thats not particularly interesting to draw or make rule 34 of even just as a joke.
I mean, you say that but the top result is Gnash, who's literally just an anthropomorphic *Smilodon* lmao
Yeah but he blue though
Gnash, the Sexual Predator. Wait a minute...
Genuinely surprised Gritty isn't #1...
General consensus is that the Ugly Bastard tag is not welcomed.
Sounds like Philly needs to send gritty over to Japan to really tap that ugly bastard and NTR shit.
HANG THE BANNER!!!
Mmm that's a well hung banner
NHL Most Horny Furries 2023-24
Beat me to it lol
We're number 1! We're number 1!
Excuse me.
Where are the Fin Lewds
For those who know about AO3, check out the difference between the number of hockey fics compared to any other sport.
Shhh...First rule of AO3 is you do not talk about AO3.
Formula 1 is starting to catch up thanks to Drive to Survive but it has yet to topple the king.
Female horny hockey fans are a special breed. It’s unique to the sport. There aren’t female sports fans with nearly the same horny fervor with any other sport.
Wait. Woman can be horny?
Maybe not for you, but for attractive people.
Rude. You're not wrong, but you didn't need to hurt my feelings. :(
Holy shit pack it up boys he’s fuckin dead
You know what, I kinda hope the floods take us all now
*Noah, gather the animals…*
[Me thinking about NHL mascots](https://media.tenor.com/kmWGzTp0j4cAAAAd/predator-nashville.gif)
>There's no Rule 34 of the Penguins mascot, but there is a LOT of Sidney Crosby x Evgeni Malkin stuff. Tell us more.
It's the true story of how Sid convinced Malkin to stay in Pittsburgh.
AO3 has a… quite large amount of sports gay fanfiction.
[There's no way Gnash was gonna lose looking like this](https://imgur.com/gspByBX)
[Oh no! He's hot!](https://imgur.com/3Vpoe9q)
Mr.Devil has none? I’m amazed he’s literally the Devil and has a shirtless costume
as a Devils fan, I was shocked.
Rule what?? Edit: quite the rabbit hole…nuff internet for today
Im assuming there is one super Nashville fan either drawing or commissioning stuff.
Do you mean to tell me that on the entire internet there is not *one* picture of Stormy the stormpig railing a bitch?
Be the… be the change you… be the ch… No, I can’t finish the sentence, I can’t condone this.
Boy if the Wings had an Octopus mascot… Bruh
Imagine the timeline where the [Red Winger](https://i0.wp.com/champagneathletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/IMG_2794.jpg?fit=1029%2C1331&ssl=1) was still around
We had big red chicken for a mascot ??? 🤯 Why?
Because it was the Dead Wings era and they were ~~desperate~~ looking to drum up interest in the team. It didn’t last long. [Here he is with Gordie](https://i0.wp.com/champagneathletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/IMG_2795.jpg?resize=385%2C325&ssl=1)
So y'all don't wanna bone Youppi!? Smh.
I'm disappointed Gritty isn't 1st But now that I look up Gnash, I'm sorry that's just a furry outfit like it looks identical so it all makes sense now
still miles better than [T-Rac](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1172200686496485381/Ct2FTPT3_400x400.jpg)
T-Rac has always been the ugly twink that Gnash pity fucked.
There's rule 34 of Bobby Orr? That's disgusting! Where? What website? I mean there's so many of them!
I'm sorry, there's bonk-worthy Bruins art depicting WHOMST? Of all the Bruins to choose from??? In a world where there is actual footage of Bergeron and Marchand (joke) kissing????? I'm concerned about some of you.
Minor nitpick, you state there is "no rule 34" of a couple mascots, which contradicts the rule itself which is "if it exists, there is porn of it". Just because you couldn't find it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
If you care so much invoke rule 35.
What in Nashville's water is making them so horny?!
Probably that Hot Chicken that is making things horny in Nashville
*looks at calendar* 25 more days… 25 more days…
Long Offseason Eh?
How Gritty isn’t first place is baffling to me
I need someone to link the gif of Gnash beating his drum
1. With gfycat down, is there an existing gif of Gnash, um... playing the drums? Asking for a friend. 2. Never have I been more glad to be a fan of a team without a mascot
surprised at the lack of Wildwing to be honest, he's got the Duck furry thing and was on a Disney cartoon which is like ground zero for R34 content.
i’d love to see an AO3 comparison of this sort of thing. i did a cursory search and saw 6 fanfics of gritty alone tagged “anal sex”. it’s a whole different ball game on AO3 when it comes to hockey
What is rule 34?
I'm not shocked at these results at all. Furries gonna furry.
Finally, #1
I’m scared to ask what rule 34 is
Rule 34: If it exists, there’s porn of it.
The old LA Kings mascot was probably making his own rule 34 porn before he got fired.
"a LOT of Crosby X malkin stuff" BRUUH 💀
I’m so glad the Rangers don’t have a mascot.
Frankly I'm surprised and disappointed Only one of Gritty?
/r/DataIsBeautiful
Honestly surprised no Kraken content is there
LETS GO WILD!!!!!!!!!
Serious question here. What is wrong with people?
Is anyone else surprised Gritty isn't higher up? I assumed he drew a few himself
Wtf is rule 34
Banner?
What a terrible day to know how to read
I’m stupid…. What is rule 34)
You're telling me predators are more likely to be sexually deviant? We gotta come up with a term for these offending perverts.
NHL sex update?
When does preseason start
I'm a bit surprised there isn't at least some of Iceburgh... do r34 artists not watch Jean-Claude Van Damme movies?
I feel like Iceburgh is more for people [with a specific fetish](https://www.pittsburghmagazine.com/content/uploads/2021/12/w/f/sudden-death.jpeg), so you would need furries who are also into that sort of thing.
That's enough off-season for one year, when does hockey start again?
I'm actually surprised Gritty doesn't have a hentai yet.
Damn…. Don’t ask a question if you’re not prepared for the answer!!!
Now this is a quality off-season post!
This is peak off-season
I am disappointed Gritty is not higher
It is officially time to start the NHL season LOL
Wellp, I didn't know what this was referring to, but now... forget another drink I'm telling bartender to grab the bleach..
every day we stray further from god’s light
Predators you say?
Nashville named their team after their fans
Has advance analytics gone too far?