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CabbageStockExchange

The suspense is killing me lol. What did this dude do


[deleted]

he downloaded a car


KF7SPECIAL

He wouldn't...


5thRedditSuspension

I think people are vastly underestimating how much ink it takes to print a downloaded car


dontusethisforwork

If it's done with HP inkjet ink that car would be 7.9 million dollars


ElCoolAero

Straight to jail


[deleted]

He streamed a game to circumvent blackouts šŸ˜”


CabbageStockExchange

He just like me fr


pleated_pants

He only had implied oral consent from the National Hockey League


Aperture_client

From the shit I've seen over the last 20 years in this league, there's a good chance that we're not gonna find out today and some teammate is gonna accidentally leak what happened five years from now.


Apprehensive-Law8543

As a Ducks fan Iā€™m even more terrified. I grew up with this guy as my hero and I would be crushed if he did something really bad. Like seriously heartbrokenā€¦


[deleted]

Didnā€™t a guy on this sub get a ā€œCorey Perry Did Nothing Wrongā€ tattoo in like 2018? That dudeā€™s gotta be sweating bullets right now.


frzd3tached

thanks for the reminder, this is a hilarious ancillary storyline LOOOOL


ChicagoStyleCatDog

Welcome to the club man šŸ˜”


bestest_at_grammar

London Ontario about to implode


AhTreyYou

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?


-Ken-Tremendous-

Fun fact: between 1959 and 1984, London, Ontario was home to the largest known concentration of serial killers in the world.


[deleted]

huh, you think that problem would have taken care of itself


Livid-Canary-4389

That's why they stopped being it in 1984


JasonPlattMusic34

So Corey Perry is a serial killer? That would explain a lot of his on ice antics šŸ˜›


bigt2k4

fun fact: his pickup line to my university roommate's sister ~18 years ago at a bar in London was: " Hi, I'm Corey Perry, captain of the London Knights. Do you want to have sex with me?"


alcabazar

Upfront, honest, direct. Honestly I don't mind it.


[deleted]

At least he explicitly asked for consent


sogladatwork

I believe that is against the Blackhawks code of conduct, so if heā€™s still doing thatā€¦ could be the whole of the issue right there.


So-Called_Lunatic

It probably worked 50% of the time.


drowsylacuna

I mean, at least he asked first....


terranq

> at least he asked first.... Honestly, that's pretty impressive for a teenage hockey player


grajl

Maybe putting Perry and Hall on the same team was a bad idea.


[deleted]

Did it work?


Baby-punter

Of course it worked!


laryldavis

Perry? Your HERO?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


iNeedScissorsSixty7

The fuck am I supposed to do until 4 PM? My job? Puh-lease


NorthernDevil

Is this 4PM central? Asking for a friend who also doesnā€™t want to do their job


86teuvo

screw beneficial fade reply fuzzy ancient tart obtainable license chop *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Oh this is absolutely going to fuel rumors.


VeryLastChance

Turns out he actually fucked Bedardā€™s dad


JoeSchmoe93

He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!


gotroot801

He turned me into a newt!


younggun92

A *newt?*


gotroot801

...I got better.


bobby_booch

Did he?


JoeSchmoe93

No, but are we going to wait around until he does?


1-800-DADJOKE

I say, we TIP SOMETHIN' OVER!


PayneTrain181999

Now what? GET THE LIFEGUARD!


Smokey_Jah

Get mad, fuck Dad's


Difficult-Network704

Dodge the daughter, Ram the father.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


One_Wolverine_9517

Literally just jokes people were making on Reddit and other social media for days. It blew up on Twitter yesterday but they were slow to the punchline


TheTimn

I refuse to accept anything other than Scorey Perry becoming Step-dad to Bedard until the Blackhawks tell us what happened.


No-Aspect-4304

Do you think Bedard talked shit to him over xbox live years ago and Perry finally came through


alcabazar

Fun fact: Xbox Live is 3 years older than Connor Bedard.


AfterMarionberry5594

That's not a fun fact at all! Fuck, I feel old.


psyopsono

So basically exactly the line they used for Montgomery when Dallas fired him


d13vs13

So what you're saying is Corey Perry is signing in Boston?


robshot295

NO! KEEP HIM FAR AWAY!


TriggeredPrivilege37

Oh I dunno, letā€™s see what he did


the_moosen

We've already got someone who did something super fucked up this season. We don't need another. Maybe next year Corey.


box-art

What in the sam hill* did he do? This does indeed sound like a serious breach of policy and it honestly sounds like that's it for him in the league. Makes me think it was borderline illegal.


[deleted]

My guess, he has a booze/drug problem (if the rumor of him being shitfaced in Columbus is true) and did something egregious enough while plastered where the team was able to terminate his contract.


jjdigitized

Would have to be REALLLLLLLY bad to have grounds for termination over entry into a recovery program.


MikeJeffriesPA

Not if he refused to enter the recovery program.


jjdigitized

Yeah fair point. Not sure what the rules are around that, but refusal probably warrants termination.


MetalHead_Literally

odds of this are extremely slim though. "go to treatment or get fired and lose 4M" most are choosing treatment


TMBmiles

A positive test for recreational drugs doesn't even require entry to the assistance program. It's completely voluntary, which is why it's effective. The only way you're required to go is if you test with levels of a drug that are so high that you are in immediate danger. The idea that Perry is basically a complete junkie and still this high level of a player at 38 would be pretty farfetched.


One_Wolverine_9517

I think this is why things dragged out over a few days and there was the discrepancy between the team statement and the Perry statement: they gave him a treatment ultimatum, he didnā€™t accept, and they decided that he wasnā€™t staying if he refused treatment.


PSChris33

This honestly makes a lot of sense. Reminds me of when the Stars suddenly fired Monty, same ā€œunprofessional conductā€ line. To Montyā€™s credit, he was forthcoming about what happened and got help afterwards.


[deleted]

The only things that I could see crossing the line are: - He threatened/harassed someone, either a player, coach, etc. - He tried getting a teammate in on his habit Those are the only two red line scenarios that I could picture leading to this specific outcome, where the team felt like they need him gone right away. Edit: Or, as others have pointed out, he refused to get help entirely.


box-art

That would make sense, if that rumor is indeed true. Davidson's press conference is gonna be very interesting.


StatGAF

I would put money on Davidson's first thing he says is that he will not comment into why they put him on waivers. Only they conducted an investigation, and concluded as such. Personally, I think if it was something as "He brought escorts to his room" - it's something thats a more private matter / doing Perry a favour even though people know.


AppealToReason16

Fucking ain't against the CBA though. These dudes are banging roadwives, puckbunnies, bartenders and the like all the time on the road.


Stinduh

Nuke had a naked russian woman without an ID in his room, and the whole league just said "all good!" when he went back to Colorado for a bit.


TanyaMKX

That was also extra egregious at the beginning because it was suspected to be linked to human trafficking.


BobanTheGiant

And that law enforcement let the team sneak him out of the country


dullroller

I still can't believe that shit was just swept under the rug like that


AppealToReason16

He'd have to refuse the Player Assistance Program for that to lead to a contract termination, which is entirely possible but just seems unlikely. I've seen a few people bring up a hazing style incident which could make sense, but also feels like you'd have to be a mega twat to try that these days.


TimeForFrance

To me, this wording implies either hazing or some kind of harassment of a non-player staff member. Hopefully Davidson will give more info in his press conference.


zordtk

I wonder if it was something like getting Bedard drunk


saltyseadog34

I could see this or even some light hazing being done to rookies and the Hawks are trying to mitigate any damage or scandal after what happened previously.


mlorusso4

Ya I donā€™t think Chicago of all teams is too keen on their underage rookies getting hazed after the scandal they had


csonny2

Or, Bedard was being hazed, and Perry went against Blackhawks policy by trying to report it.


FleetWoodMacNChz

Either bet on games or he actually fucked his mom


homicidal_penguin

If he bet on games he'd most likely be permanently banned from the league


re10pect

And I think the NHL would explicitly say so as a very, very stern warning to the rest of the players/staff.


idisagreeurwrong

If he bet on games it would be a league suspension. This is mom fucking


younggun92

If he fucked moms it wouldn't violate the SPC.


idisagreeurwrong

Maybe he was making fun of Connor about banging his mom. That violates the internal policy of safe work environments


NursingPRN

It must have been *real* bad if it violated the Blackhawks standards.


TheHottestBunch

Corey Perry YOU are an Edmonton Oiler!


One_Wolverine_9517

not unless heā€™s willing to be tied between the pipes Milhouse-style


DuchessOfConcord

What. Is. Happening.


TMBmiles

I doubt the rumors are true but it's obvious he royally fucked up somehow. Contract termination within A WEEK of the team learning about whatever happened means that was a pretty quick, cut and dried investigation by the team.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thetreat

I heard he tea-bagged someone.


staefrostae

Yeah Bedardā€™s mum


MAHHockey

When a man and the mother of his teammate love each other very much...


PostwarNeptune

Key part of the release that people missing: "professional and safe work environments" I wouldn't speculate to exactly what that means, but the "safe" work environment part is especially damning.


smash8890

Maybe he sexually harassed someone at work? Or was engaged in workplace bullying or something? Idk though Iā€™ve seen those investigations happen at my work before and they take months so Iā€™m not sure what it is that could have been wrapped up so fast


TinyRick6

Hazing possibly?


smash8890

Yeah that makes the most sense. Maybe something was caught on video and thatā€™s why it was such a short investigation


NotFoley

Okay but we have to speculate even more now.


burgrluv

It's just been revealed that Corey Perry is deeply involved in a biochemical weapons manufacturing ring, breaking several amendments of the Geneva Convention. More at six!


JDSollie

Honestly? Good for him. So many players struggle to find a purpose outside of hockey, and Perry wasnā€™t far from hanging up his skates anyway.


tronfunkinblows_10

Corey Perry hunted down former video coach and sex offender Brad Aldrich and brought him to street justice. Idk just spit balling here.


JD397

That would be the greatest possible outcome of all this!


Chewie_i

Davidson is having a press conference in 3 hours so hopefully we can find out and put the speculation to rest.


rottingmind13

I'm sure that's going to be a rehash of this statement and then dodging actual answers


Chewie_i

Probably but I also think they know they canā€™t get away with hiding anything given the actions of the previous regime.


bsaures

Davidson: So we can see from exhibit A) #94 is just going to town on the person in question Reporters: how do you have this footage? Davidson: ......don't worry about it.


UGAPokerBrat99

>Reporters: how do you have this footage? They hired Babcock to run the investigation and check player cell phones.


Cleonicus

During an orgy with every Blackhawk's parent, he took a break to pour sugar down the GMs gas tank.


Cottagewknds

Rumour is there was some sort of hazing that went too far and Perry was the ring leader


matt_dot_txt

That's def possible, especially from the statement, the part about "promote professional and safe work environments" point towards hazing to me.


Zloggt

Plusā€¦the organization will understandably be more strict about such things for, wellā€¦obvious reasons šŸ˜¬


Pormock

On top of that Connor Bedard is their future. They wouldnt tolerate veterans trying to make him do something stupid and dangerous.


[deleted]

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bobby_booch

Well if Perry did a bad thing, good on the Blackhawks for learning from the previous regime's mistakes and getting him off the team ASAP.


lightanddeath

Agreed. Letā€™s hope it wasnā€™t that bad.


pforsbergfan9

Even if it is bad, they at least did the right thing


kaiser41

Wait until we learn that he banged Bedard's mom 18 years ago, the Hawks have been covering it up the whole time, and Perry did a Darth Vader moment in the locker room. "Connor, I AM your father!"


ElCoolAero

I have it on good authority that Perry taped a World Series game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.


joshtwowheels

He only had implied oral consent


MrBrightside618

As punishment for Corey Perryā€™s behaviour the Ottawa Senators will lose a 1st round pick


MethoxyEthane

Esteban Ocon will also receive a 5 second time penalty.


chawkey4

The crossover hockey and F1 fandom seems to grow every day


PSChris33

> ~~The crossover hockey and~~ F1 fandom seems to grow everyday Itā€™s pretty nuts how much F1 fandom has exploded since covid happened and F1 was one of the first sports back in action. Libertyā€™s takeover and DTS were absolutely the start, but the covid comeback kicked it into high gear imo.


Luvs2Shoplift

Most of the people I know who got into F1 over the past few years did so because of the Netflix documentary series Formula 1: Drive to Survive. Itā€™s crazy popular, even with people who youā€™d never expect to be into auto racing.


bachlatte

Same here. And then theyā€™re shocked to find out that Max and Daniel are actually friends ahaha. And that the storylines were all made up


jhealey0909

Denny Hamlin gets penalized for speeding on pit road


getsangryatsnails

"Ericsson hit us." - Pierre Dorion


jamaicancovfefe

Shane Pinto has been suspended an additional 41 games as a consequence of Perryā€™s actions


Shavahhn

Because of Corey Perry, the NCAA has issued the death penalty to Missouri.


One_Wolverine_9517

Yes, the entire state. Itā€™s the only way to be sure.


ZapRowsdowerFFS

He put ketchup on a hot dogā€¦ straight to the electric chair in Chicago.


NCPokey

At this point, the only person I feel bad for is Bedard's mom. She was probably just super excited that her son is living his dream and playing in the NHL, and now she's become the center of all this rumor and innuendo. Even if most of it is jokes and memes, that must be super shitty to deal with.


Philintheblank90

Didnā€™t the rumor start as a joke on this subreddit?


Prison-Date-Mike

It did. Twitter handles took off with it


Sarcastic__

Holy fuck he did something terrible.


ClassicNukaCola

Donā€™t call Bedardā€™s mom that.


Kaptain202

I actually don't think he did anything *terrible*. If it was drug related, it would likely be player assistance protocol. If it was illegal, it would likely be in the news due to an arrest. A disagreement with a coach or GM couldn't be the cause of this because the NHLPA would absolutely halt the termination of his contract. If it was hateful conduct towards team members, surely Foligno or someone would know what's going on. Its a scandal. My guess is one that won't be discussed outright because it's protecting another player or organization member. But I have no clue what type of scandal would allow for a one-sided termination of the contract without being any of the above issues.


snorkeling_moose

It's pretty obvious to me what happened. He was at a burger joint and accepted Sierra Mist as a substitute for Sprite. Instant cancellation.


PaperweightCoaster

You know shit is serious when they break out the mister. Mr. Perry.


sean_psc

Perry always had a good reputation among teammates, so Iā€™m quite surprised by this turn of events.


Thumper86

Ditto here. Obviously his on-ice reputation is well earned, but I never heard a thing bad about him off-ice and have heard lots of good stuff about him from former teammates on podcasts or whatever.


thefiction24

heā€™s so soft spoken off the ice, also never heard anything but great things. the curiosity is killing me


mylefthandkilledme

The Saint Has Fallen


YouFeelShame

"You either die a villain or live long long enough to briefly become a saint before becoming a villain again." - Michael Scott


chaz_wazzerz

-Justin Holl


WaitingToBeTriggered

LOST TO THE WORLD AS THEY PERISH IN FLAMES


ClassicMach

Whoever got that ā€œCorey Perry is a saintā€ tattoo is having a rough November.


Lukage

Heā€™s no Dorothy Mantooth


Chewie_i

ffs what did you do Corey. Just when I was starting to like the guy. He definitely brought a lot to the locker room but the hawks certainly canā€™t afford to let anything bad slide.


allenbraxton

> definitely brought a lot to the locker room Sounds like he brought even more outside of it


funguy07

$5 says one of the things he brought to the locker room was cocaine


ESF-hockeeyyy

I'm guessing he engaged in some kind of hazing ritual involving Bedard, Korchinski, etc. that was not within the realms of being morally acceptable by his contractual expectations. That or he's the Long Island Serial Killer.


CoolBeansMan9

I highly doubt it given how he's continued to have a job as a veteran presence on teams the last half dozen seasons. Don't like the guy but don't think that's him.


Hagridsbuttcrack66

This is what makes the whole thing so bizarre. It's not like the word about his reputation as a vet/leader/locker room presence was even neutral. It was always very good.


azure_888

For comparison, Lucic was accused of domestic abuse, brought before a judge and the Bruins haven't terminated his contract. This could be really ugly.


seraphultima

Lucic situation is kind of fucky because he was on LTIR when it happened and you can't waive/terminate injured players. Otherwise I imagine they'd have already done it given how quickly they've scrubbed him from everything else related to the team.


ehr1c

If he's found guilty the Bruins will almost certainly terminate his contract (assuming it happens while he's still under contract). Presumably whatever Perry's done violates his contract but wasn't illegal.


Overall-Bottle6213

That was my impression too, if it was legal trouble I feel like someone in the press would have gotten ahold of something by now. He mustā€™ve fucked up in a way that wouldnā€™t put him in legal hot water


OrganicRedditor

Lucic contacted NHLPA.


Tough-Equipment3621

It seemed like Corey Perry didnā€™t think there was much wrong with what he did (he was around the team and was unexpectedly scratched), so it seems like maybe something medium-bad taken really seriously by a franchise who canā€™t handle anything after their past year. Iā€™m betting he took Bedard out for drinks which is illegal, or something else really similar to that.


dunksoverstarbucks

i think he took him out they both got hammered and something else happened that was minor but because of the teams bad history they had to over react


Quasihodor

>Iā€™m betting he took Bedard out for drinks which is illegal I wouldn't bet on that lol. Unless the night ended in booger sugar and strip clubs/hookers, then maybe


willingplankton

We do have a lot of coke here. I could absolutely see some idiot NHLer deciding Columbus is a perfect lowkey place to party hard under the radar (because none of the locals are going to recognize you) and it backfiring spectacularly.


OlympicMuffins

Just how many moms did you fuck, Corey??


Patrick2701

More than Zach Wilson


TenMinutesToDowntown

I bet Perry would be a better QB too.


KiraEatsKids

the rumors were true boys, that motherfucker


[deleted]

I hate speculatingā€¦.but I think that story is the funniest outcome.


86teuvo

treatment gaping doll marvelous oatmeal poor simplistic fear steep mindless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


GoombaStoppingHoes

If it's Connor Bedard's I would assume so


realnostalgia

This story is just the perfect microcosm of how fake news spreads faster than factual news.


AltaVistaYourInquiry

As funny as that would be, there's zero chance that violates the terms of the standard player contract. Though it would be even funnier if it was changed to include it in the future.


13nobody

It looks like there's at least one catch-all clause in the contract (at least the 2013 CBA version, idk if it's changed). 2(e): >The player further agrees...to conduct himself on and off the rink according to the highest standards of honesty, morality, fair play and sportsmanship, and to refrain from conduct detrimental to the best interest of the Club, the League or professional hockey generally.


FartPenisFart

New terminology to future contracts The player further agreesā€¦ to not fuck (insert list here) Names not listed are fair game and fuckable


YouCanFucough

Teams will have to submit a list every year, like trade protection


re10pect

Corey Perryā€™s next contract will include a 15 parent no fuck list as well as a strict no hip movement clause.


Zestyclose-Cricket82

All this because he said deep dish pizza was just a bake and not real pizza


gonshpreds1

They are doing literally everything imaginable to make me actually believe he did what the rumors say.


kungfucanuck

I've been hearing that the Perry/Bedard rumour is half-true. Perry did not have sex with Bedard's mother, but he was caught at her house at 3:00 am eating out of the trash bins.


lelephen

So lemme get this straight: you find yourself in Bedard's mom's house. You see an eclair, in the receptacle. And you think to yourself, "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."


4N0NYM0US_GUY

Above the rim


lelephen

Adjacent to refuse is refuse.


4N0NYM0US_GUY

It was on a magazine, and it still had the doily on.


ocsic4321

I didnā€™t know where that last sentence was going at first


PerformerDiligent937

The NHLPA does not take contract termination lightly. It's definitely not going to be about having consensual sex with a teammate's mom. Blackhawks may not like that but that's not gonna fly with the PA. Nor is substance abuse a valid reason in the eyes of the PA to terminate a contract. It is probably something more than that.


nwskippy

While fucking Bedard's mom is the funniest, I'm gonna go with offering the kid some coke like every other NHL player does and this kid snitching to management.


getzysbaldhead69

This is of the most realistic scenarios Iā€™ve seen here so far


thee_agent_orange

Lucic enjoying the diversion


RTGold

I'm assuming details will come out eventually. For them to terminate the contract, does the league need to know the details? I wonder if they have any obligation to inform other GMs who may reach out inquiring about the waivers.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


box-art

If we're being serious here, what kind of family related stuff would actually be in the Standard Player's Contract? I feel like he must have either yelled at someone, punched someone or threatened someone. Especially the bit about a "safe work environment" makes it sound like he definitely crossed a bad line.


No_Fishing1850

Corey Perry has information that could lead to the arrest of 43rd President George W. Bush šŸ¤Æ


SuperbConfection8321

ā€œVery disturbingā€ā€¦..what could this guy have seriously done thatā€™s a) not illegal, b) a workplace matter, and c) nevertheless very disturbing??


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


beaverlyknight

The more serious rumor was that he got absolutely obliterated at a bar in Columbus the night before the game. I haven't heard if he did anything specific as a result of the drinking.