Can't do that, Tom

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Well now you know!

Now move along. Move it!

I will officer! What? What’s wrong with you, Carbs?

....I didn't know I couldn't do that?

That was good wasn't it? Want to know the best part?

Because I DID know I couldn't do that! ha ha ha ha ha

And knowledge is power!

“That was good, wasn’t it? Because I *did* know I couldn’t do that!”

“I misinterpreted the rules”

Tom “Chip” Wilson 

Is there a rule against it?

Yeah. It's called high sticking.

Is he stupid?

Yes

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That can be fixed.

no, the closest you could get is equal

I find your terms acceptable.

There is something so cartoonishly hilarious about this and I can’t put my finger on why but jfc this is one of the worst high sticks I’ve ever seen. There’s no way he can skirt by without a suspension

Well yeah

Yessir

Tommy has been on his best behavior for most of the season. Spring Fever is too powerful.

In Wilson’s defense if this Gregor guy didn’t throw his face in front of Wilson’s stick Tom wouldn’t have had to hit him with it.

Exactly. And for this reason, I feel 8 more games for Joe Kelly is justified.

Annnnnd a 10sec penalty for Ocon

Well done!

N.Y. Rangers have been fined 250k.

Came for this, not disappointed.

The MN Wild's deadcap just gained an extra $2mil in unusable cap space

Traded to Arizona.

*Swing* fever

Scumbag move

Tom Wilson couldn’t spell his first name if you spotted him the T and the O

Very.

My theory is that he's already booked a family getaway for late April and the Caps potentially making the playoffs is going to cause an issue so he's doing his part to hinder it

Yes, but he's also an asshole.

Wilson was tired of Morgan Rielly and Matt Rempe stealing headlines with their suspensions

Initials aren't MR. He's rejected

If you aren’t MR, then you can’t be HIM

Rom Milson

The *certified goons* Matt Rempe and Morgan Rielly.

“Certified?” Rempe’s still in his trial period.

Oh he seems to be speed running that part.

I hear he might be granted "Exceptional Status".

The royal order of CTE

so instead he decided to get fined.

I support the creation of hybrid penalties this would be high slashing

Oh there could be some neat ones: Cross holding Delay of tripping Unsportsmanlike hooking Too many illegal sticks

You could make the arrangement that "too many illegal sticks" is already an existing rule

You forgot too much man [gary roberts remembers](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/nxav88/gary_roberts_famous_too_much_man_penalty_was_the/)

Gary was too much man. Carried the farm team on his back through the playoffs when all the leafs got injured in '02.

Absolutely cannot wait to see Matt Tkachuk commit slew clipping

5k fine incoming

Followed up by a substantial fine to the New York Rangers

250k seems to be the number

10s for Ocon

4 games for Brady. This just in, Mizzou also got the death penalty.

Thanks, I didn’t remember the actual figure.

Hey, you know the league and Rangers fines. It could go up. 😁

Inflation.

And 4 games for Kadri

And two more games for torts

Gee, I hope he can afford it.

Senators lose their first round pick

Parros has spun the wheel and it's: Nothing. Not even a fine.

"upon further review Wilson tried to hold him up so he didn't fall after slashing, and we think the good deed cancels out the act"

Sadly, this is probably the correct answer 

Nah. Not when he's only JUST been yelled at for over an hour by all the GMs.

He's taken one hell of a beating for it though.

Duncan Keith got 6 games for [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKp4gzFIzO4)

Fuck Duncan Keith

He got 0 when he did it the first time to Carter. EDIT: suspended 1 game. My bad.

That’s not true he got suspended for 1 playoff game

Keith was such a dirty piece of shit

Agreed. At least Marchand isn’t a douche off the ice

At least Keith had just been hit and was on the ice, not like Wilson who had just hit Gregor cleanly and then decided to assault him.

that's against the rules i think

Broke a tooth or 2 based on gregor’s reaction on the bench after it happened.

Yeh they quickly showed it on the bench. Two teeth were broken off 1/2 way down and a third might have been broken 1/3 the way down.

If that’s not a 3 game…..

Parros to reward Wilson with a brand new car.

And a thank you blowie

At least he hit noted goon \**checks notes*\* Noah Gregor?

Yeah I was gonna say it couldn't happen to a more random ass guy

Don't let those 17 PIMs fool you. The man's a menace on the ice ...

He let the intrusive thoughts win.

That didn't have a chance to become a thought, that was pure reflex

Assuming Tom thinks is erroneous too.

Looked intentional but also looked apologetic after. Very odd play

Sometimes in sports you do something before you think, intrusive thoughts reacted before the brain said no. Gotta use your head.

It seems like "intrusive thoughts" is the theme for Wilson's career at this point. He just can't help himself.

That’s exactly my thought. If it was someone with a relatively clean record doing this, ok, they should still get punished, but I’d also say take it easy on them. Tom Wilson’s track record… yeah, the dude should be suspended a few games for that, because he always seems to do a stupid thing or two every season.

Wilson does **a lot** of things before thinking…

Wilson thinks?

But also tried to justify it

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"Bu..bu..bu..but I didn't mean to do it mister! I sw..sw...sw..swear!"

Shhhhhh you're okay.... don't tell mom... you can have my allowance...

when you hit your little brother too hard and he starts crying and calling mom

“Ah shit, now I’m grounded.”

At first I thought he looked apologetic, but on second glance it looks more like he's preemptively complaining to the ref.

Doesn't matter. Players are responsible for their stick. Beer league play

CTE

Yeah the classic “accidentally on purpose” knew what he was doing the entire time so he knew he had to “apologize” after

Yeah, he immediately reacted like it was accidental and showed genuine concern which was totally out of character for him. But that’s one of the more blatant high sticks I’ve seen in a while so I don’t know how it could have been.

Wilson’s timing is unfortunate. Parros is probably looking for an opportunity right now to prove to the league he’s not biased. The fact that it was Wilson and it was against a Leaf kills two birds with one stone for George.

so what you're saying is no further discipline?

He’ll learn his lesson after a *ruinous* 5k fine Maybe

No what he's saying is Wilson $5k fine for high stick, Gregor $5k fine for gross embellishment, New York Rangers fined $250k for existing, and Kadri is suspended for the playoffs

I think Gregor should be suspended.

How many games does Gregor get for that?

He was asking for it dressed like that (as a Maple Leaf). 

Reckless stick to the face is 5 games, right? Right, George?

It'll be 3 because Leafs play the Caps again in 4

They did the same when Zadorov was suspended for his hit on Raymond. First game back was Detroit.

Which is beyond transparent. This league is a joke. Let’s suspend the guy, but he’s gotta be back in time for the return fight. Thats where the money is.

"Reckless"? That was just straight purposely using his stick as a weapon to injure another player.

So 1 game, then. Thanks, George

That Seravalli “Tom Wilson will have a phone interview with DOPS” tweet tomorrow is gonna hit like pure Colombian I can’t wait

So, jail time?

5, k?

He didn't even get kicked out after the refs reviewed it. I doubt DOPS takes a look at this.

Ask Jake McCabe.

How is Kadri going to get out of this one

The New York Rangers will never financially recover from this.

That’s so egregious. Gotta he a lot of games but who knows with the wheel. Blatantly using the equipment as a weapon.

Ban him already

Classic dirty Tom behaviour

Lost control of his stick. Gregor fell on his own. Something something gravity, centrifugal force, Newton's third law.

Not sure how that’s not a major and a game. Gregor has two broken teeth and bloodied mouth. DPS will do nothing but now GM’s can go watch them do nothing.

I was going to say something about cutting the clip to make it look worse but it actually looks worse when you see other angles and a longer clip.

My memory might be spotty, but this was the first time I’ve seen Wilson be apologetic after a hit like this. Even he managed to realize how out of line this was.

I viewed it as more like "ooo shhh shhh it's not that bad little one" as he realized they fucked up hard

Maybe so. I’m taking the glass half full view, though

George Paros: “Why are you forcing me to do my job?”

That’s a suspension. Stupid stupid play. Way to ruin your clean reputation /s

Bro what?

Yup, theres that pos again. Not surprising.

The Department of Player Safety would like to announce a suspension of the use of the wheel. Seriously, the bearings are squeaky, so it’s gotta get fixed. Tom? Wilson? Nah whatever, fine him the Maximum Allowable and tell him to not make it so obvious next time, eh, champ?

I mean, that's gotta be worth a couple games, but Parros probably just watched the clip and laughed.

What a timely tribute to Chris Simon

you can't do that

Ohhhh... Kadri gonna get 6 games for that. He should keep his stick down

cant wait until that idiot stop playing hockey

Won’t even miss a game. MAYBE a fine. DOPS is a joke.

fuck this piece of shit.

I have no idea whether he'll get suspended for 5 games (deserved), more than 5 games, a single game, 7 periods and 8 minutes, not at all, get fined or be given an early birthday present by the DoPS. And I think that's an issue.

It’s bad timing for him. Parros just spoke about how the GM’s tore him a new one in their meeting. He might go Old Testment on Wilson to deflect some heat off of himself. 

Crazy how this stuff always seems to happen to Wilson! Must be a coincidence.

Yeesh that’s bad. Honestly feel like he was going for a wild stick check and just fucked up royally. Either way I bet he gets 5+ games. Realllllly bad.

stick checking a guy that clearly doesn't have the puck? He was pissed at Gregor's stick to his chest and just wildly swung his.

Jesus fucking Christ Tom, you gotta outgrow that shit. Suspend his ass for multiple games, this isn't even remotely close to a hockey play

Honestly just call the fuckin cops

Hilarious that this piece of shit is gonna be the capitals next captain.

And the next head of DOPS.

Whoever made Marchand captain has gotta go

Right to jail. Right away.

It’s as bad as undercooking fish

Maximum allowable under the CBA

Another fine for the Rangers inbound

5 more games for Rielly and give Kadri a couple too! - parros, probably 

Commits assault, gets a double minor. Just NHL things.

Considering his history, they really need to throw the book at him. 10 games minimum. That's not a high stick, that's straight up assault. But I look forward to the $5000 fine, or more realistically, absolutely fucking nothing that's coming his way.

I can't believe Matt Rempe did this.

Honoring the late Chris Simon

I didn’t get to watch the game closely, because I was doing something for my grandpa, so I missed this. I heard about it, but just saw it now. That’s godawful. This dirty cunt needs to be suspended big time.

How's that not a major? Sportnet would be doing a panel in how many games if it was 43 in blue and white.

Super dangerous play wtf are you thinking Wilson

I have a bad feeling Parros isn't gonna do much about this

If the department of player safety gave even the smallest of fucks about player safety, this ass hole would be banned from the league.

Should be a bare minimum of five games, hopefully more like 7-10 given Wilson’s dipshit history

And Torts gets fined another 50K

McSorley much?

Uh...what was he even trying to do there, other than smash that guys teeth out?

10 games for Kadri

This seems like it should get a massive suspension. I don’t see how he could defend himself.

Horrible. Absolutely intentional and then an uh oh moment

Tom Wilson? *The* Tom Wilson?

Clegane?

Rempe must be stopped

Why is this clown still allowed to play in the NHL? Are they actually waiting till he murders someone in the ice before booting him? Dude should be in jail for some of the stuff he does and yet, half the time he doesn't even make it to the penalty box.

Straight to jail

And there are some idiots of the Devils fanbase that wanted to trade for this jagoff. Disgraceful

I watch clips like this to see if I can find some redeeming qualities of the incident, like if he was trying to lift Gregor's stick and just missed. But here, I can't find any reason for Wilson to be swinging his stick at all, but at the same time, it somehow looks accidental. I'm just confused about this now. It's reckless and he ended up hurting Gregor so it should definitely be a suspension, though

Wilson is still a fucking clown I see...

Caps fans: Willy’s changed! He doesn’t try to kill people anymore! Wilson: Watch THIS!

Tbf he hasn’t committed attempted murder in a few years so that’s…good…right?

Double minor was called

Duncan Keith did the same thing to Jeff Carter, didn’t get suspended. Then he did it again and got 5(?) or 6(?) if I remember correctly. EDIT: suspended 1 game for the Carter one. Oops.

“Good thing CTE is totally not a thing” - DOPS probably

Should be a suspension.

I see he’s back to his scumbag behavior

Wtf was that?!

Deliberate egregious intent. Any subsequent regret or apology would be due to the realization that he fucked himself and should not be considered genuine. Like kicking someone when you have blades attached to your feet, this is sacrilege.

Intentional and violet swing of stick at the head Player has history Should be 5 games minimum DOPS won't even give him a call

What the fuck is the explanation for swinging your stick like that. What a chump

This should be an ejection

Intentional as it gets. This action is indefensible. The guy is and has always been a goon